#manifesting a tomasz karolak cameo in bump up

[skinzchoerim]

Bump Up Business - a Polish romcom?

The white poster is an interesting phenomenon in Polish cinema, because it's a tell-tale sign that the romcom it advertises is, well... bad. The Bump Up Business poster may be white, but if it avoids these 10 things that happened in bad Polish romcoms, it's far superior to them in quality. Dedicated to @sapphonoticeme who was keen to learn about the art of a bad Polish romcom.

1. The main character watches as their partner cheats on them in a public place, i.e. their car or a glass elevator in a glass building. Bonus point if it's on the day of their wedding.

2. The huge city the plot takes place in is actually really small, with only one coffee shop, one restaurant, one nightclub, one hotel, and the characters bump into each other all the fucking time.

3. The huge city the plot takes place is can only be Warsaw or Cracow, people from other cities don't fall in love. If a character isn't from these two cities, they're from the countryside.

4. The main character and their one true love bump into each other in a literal sense, often involving a car, and the more random the situation, the better. Nobody ever gets seriously hurt, unless you consider falling in love at first sight a sign of internal damage.

5. The plot is just a series of coincidences: characters meeting, characters talking, characters fighting, there's little to no motive and decision making that goes into it. Consistent characterization is a foreign concept, there're just plot points that need to happen.

6. There must be a really obvious ad moment that's completely divorced from the plot, i.e. drawing the audience's attention to a brand of sausage by having the characters throw it into a salad and proceed to talk about it. Berlinki.

7. If there's a foreign character, they speak perfect Polish unless it's a word like yes or thank you, which they keep forgetting. Additionally, Polish characters who are supposed to be "modern" and "cool" will throw in random English words, sometimes translating them right away. Ja to jednak umiem z każdej porażki wykręcić success.

8. Old people and kids are the wisest people on earth. The only wise ones, actually. Adults are all dumb.

9. The characters watch a nostalgic montage of their romantic moments taken from the actual movie, filmed by the camera crew, not any in-universe characters.

10. Nobody stays single until the end. Bonus point if all the characters get married at the same time in the finale.

Bonus: 11. Tomasz Karolak and Mikołaj Roznerski are in the cast.