#man it really sucks to go to sleep early bc you gotta wake up early but you just

[taniushka12]

Ages ago i sketched alan and barry dressing in each other's styles and yknow what I really gotta digitalize those, they were cute 😌

[hansolmates]

remote learning (m)

summary; working remote sucks, and you would love a little relief. after buying a new toy to blow off some steam, you’re baffled when you can’t cum. however, jungkook thinks you’re doing it wrong, and shows you a thing or two. pairing; neighbor!jungkook x (f) reader genre/warnings; fluff, humor, slightly insecure mc, this is pure FILTH—use of a remote controlled vibrator, do not and i repeat DO NOT try foreplay during a zoom call in the event u get fired im not responsible, phone sex, jungkook’s a meanie in control, cum eating, doggy, and topping it off with some sweet missionary bc jk has purty eyes, unprotected (wrap the pickle before u tickle folks) excessive use of the petname [redacted] w/c; 5.7k a/n; this fic manifested bc of work. and i!! am!! frustrated!! i think we all need a lil jk relief so here it goes! as always ty to @chillingtae​ / @eerieedits​ for this FANTASTIC fic banner, please go check vivi out if u have taste okok part 2: distance learning drabbles; 01

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“Tomorrow morning, same time at 9AM. Remember to have your reports alphabetized and itemized,” your supervisor says, but the only thing you can focus on is the abnormal amount of bonsai plants in his living room. 

“Alright now it’s time for the union to talk COVID protocol,” you frown when Mr. Kim moves ownership of the Zoom call to your union rep, who pulls up a Powerpoint. You feel your eyes burn at the sight: an itinerary containing over thirty-eight slides. 

“For fuck’s sake—” 

You so desperately want to turn off the camera and flop in your bed. Since working remotely you haven’t been operating in the most ideal of workspaces. You live in a one-room apartment with a communal kitchen downstairs, so you really only have four square meters to stretch your limbs around between breaks. You’ve pushed your bed aside and shoved an office chair between the bed and the wall, leaving you to squirm between ten centimeters of space. You have no desk because well, the little rectangle space is prioritized for your portable stove and meals. 

The meeting drones on for another hour, until your brain melts to liquid and your limbs feel like Jell-O. Furthering your anxiety as they talk about protocol that never ends up happening, delays that continue to pile up, and the anger that’s been bubbling between the higher ups and little goldfish employees like you. 

When you finally shut off the camera and fling your laptop under the bed, you still feel unsettled. Probably because your work life and home life have merged together, and it’s hard for you to separate work and pleasure. 

Speaking of pleasure. 

Your hand blindly reaches under your bed, looking for the pretty pink oval you purchased last week. Cleaned and ready to use, the little remote-controlled vibrator sits plainly in your palm. 

Needless to stay you’ve been in a bit of a dry spot these past few months. With a fear to go out and meet someone new, you’ve been left with yourself and your fantasies. That’s fine, but lately your old vibrator isn’t cutting it. It’s unfortunate, you think you’re messing up your libido by buying toy after toy, but you’re horny and lonely. 

Linking your phone’s app to the remote, you ignore the messages that have been beeping your feed since early morning. 

[11:21] Jeon: let’s do lunch! 

[11:23] Jeon: hehe i feel like i belong in mean girls. Do lunch💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

[2:20] Jeon: u loozer. Come eat dinner with us upstairs @6

[2:24] Jeon: dropping off a snack for u 

Another element of feeling horny and lonely? Jeon Jungkook. 

You two shouldn’t have even met each other. You live off crumbs on the first floor while he and his roommates are livin’ it up on top in the penthouse. One day a few months ago he crashed into you while working out, having run up and down the whole flight of stairs at least three times before deciding to collapse on you between the second and first floor. 

Despite the black mask that hugged his sharp jawline, you had felt nothing but attractiveness ooze off of him. Under his hoodie was nothing but curved muscle. He smelled so soft and sweet despite the fact that he was damp with sweat. 

The rest is history. After that day he seemed to show up everywhere, jogging more prominently on your floor and doing exercises at your level’s gym. He says he likes you, likes your company. He’s wormed his way intermittently, whether he’s seeing you struggle with an armful of groceries or when he hears you screaming over an Among Us match (according to Jungkook, the walls are thinner on the bottom floors.) 

The idea of Jungkook doting on you doubly frustrates you. He seemingly appears as the perfect man, unaffected by the stresses of the world. Jungkook’s job lets him work from home anyway, and he definitely had enough room in the penthouse for his own office. He works out, probably has a girlfriend and enough friends for you to gradually phase out of this weird neighbor interest. 

So you ignore his seemingly harmless messages, focusing on getting the settings right on the vibrator. You feel your pussy jolt a little in excitement, watching the silver and pearl pink oval shake in your grasp. You smile a bit to yourself, immediately finding your iPad for your favorite videos and some pillows to support your back. 

Half an hour later however, that excitement soon goes sour. 

“Fuck,” you bite your lip, frustrated tears streaming down your face, “fuck fuck fuck!” 

This isn’t a set of explicatives out of pleasure, unfortunately. 

No matter what you do, you won’t cum. You can’t cum. Barely wet, hardly a drop glossing your folds. You don’t even want to bother getting out the lube at this point because you are so disappointed. 

The vibrator is going at the highest setting, one that your neighbors can probably hear if they were home at this time of the day. You cease to care at this point, because the job is undone because you haven’t come undone. 

You don’t know why this is happening. Maybe it’s because you’ve had the liberty to touch yourself in complete silence, now that your neighbors have been confined to their homes indefinitely. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since you’ve relied only on your touch, that your body is tired of the monotony and needs more.

You bang the heels of your feet against your flimsy mattress, feeling whiny and utterly dissatisfied. Pulling the vibrator from your clit, you glare at the infuriating toy.

“You’re supposed to be helping me out of my dry spell,” you chastise, throwing the toy across the bed, sliding onto the carpet, “I get you’re not Jeon’s dick, but you gotta help a sister out.” 

With a sigh, you fall into a bout of exhaustion. Not from a round of orgasms, but from the week’s stress and no way to let it out. 

You wake up bleary and disoriented, practically melding through the mattress. The sky is pink and blue, washed in a sea of corals and purples. It comes from the incessant banging. 

“Stop it,” you whine more to yourself than whoever dares to disturb your sleep, pulling up your panties and a pair of navy dolphin-trim shorts. “Whoever you are I’m comin’ so stop!” 

Swinging the door open in two strides you’re met with a chipper Jeon Jungkook; looking all cute and sweet in his big hoodie and smelling like a rosebud. 

“It’s 6:30,” he narrows his eyes playfully at you, “dinner’s in the oven.” 

“You left your oven on,” you deadpan, turning around to grimace at the mess that’s your one-room apartment. 

“Yes, so we have exactly ten minutes before my kitchen explodes in flames,” Jungkook chirps, closing the door behind you. 

You don’t even bother to tell him to excuse the mess, ignore the pile of bras hanging on your vanity and the unpacked groceries that sit at the edge of your mini-fridge. It’s far too late to salvage your dignity and Jungkook’s too damn polite to call you out on your state of slob. Although, as you pull out a bottle of wine tucked in the back of your fridge you blurt, “I can hear your fingers tingling to clean up my mess.” 

When you turn around Jungkook stuffs his hands in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie, supposedly to stop himself from cleaning up. With a pout he says, “Can’t help it, Jimin says I’m currently manifesting a strong display of Virgo energy this month. Whatever that means.” 

Jabbing your feet in a pair of slides you follow Jungkook out the door. The hallways are quiet and barren, yet the silence isn’t suffocating as you two pile into the elevator. Jungkook opens the keypad underneath the regular boring buttons, revealing a sleek little set of light-up buttons that have the code to the penthouse. Faaaannnnccy. 

“Tryna look?” he jokes, cupping his hands to block your vision. 

You scoff, “I’m sure it’s something easy like 0000.” 

“You’re wrong. It’s 1234,” he replies cheekily. 

The door dings open and you’re met with yet another door. Jungkook presses his thumb to the biometric scanner, and a pleasant ringer tings in response. 

The penthouse smells like a mix of tonight’s dinner, savory, combined with a cinnamon apple candle. Jungkook is a fan of scented candles, ever since he got a whiff of your lavender vanilla burner. 

“Where’s Taehyung?” you ask, more out of your own anxiousness than anything. Taehyung’s  your buffer, the hyper roommate being someone to distract you from Jungkook’s incessant aura. 

“Dunno,” he shrugs, flicking on the oven light to peer inside. You see the telltale signs of a mean lasagna, the shredded cheese on top crisping to a delicious-looking golden brown, “anyway, you’re my friend first.” 

As grotesque as it sounds, Jungkook always finds his way to worm his way under your skin and find homage there. “Possessive much?” you quirk a brow, folding your arms over your chest even though there’s nothing to hide. 

“What can I say,” Jungkook’s legs stretch out as he squats down to your level, “I really fell for you.” 

“Gross,” you try to convince yourself, ignoring the thudding in your chest, “you technically fell on me, weirdo.” 

Dinner is a quick affair. He cuts slices of lasagna and brings it to the couch, where you’re pouring glasses of wine in crystal glasses. They’re so clean and shiny you can see your reflection in the gold liquid. You grimace at the bottle, normally this would be poured in a mug or your sippy cup, tonight your liquid’s getting a high-end pour. 

You two pull up an old anime to fill up the room, but most of it is spent in playful banter. Jungkook prattles on about his day, showing you all the cool updates he’s achieved during work. An app developer. A very on-brand, lucrative job for him. You love your job but it isn’t nearly as exciting as Jungkook’s, so you just let yourself be supportive and ask questions when needed. 

When the subject of you comes up, you shake your head and stuff your face with another cut of al dente pasta.

“Not interestin’ Jeon,” you mumble, groaning at how delicious his cooking is. What can’t he do? “Is this oregano? Is the secret ingredient toasted oregano—” 

“You’re deflecting.” 

Your shoulders slump, “I’m not very interesting, I tell you everything I do during the week and nothing has changed since March.” 

“Oh, not everything,” Jungkook mutters under his breath. You furrow your brows as his hands stuff themselves in his hoodie pocket. Is he upset you won’t tell him about your work stress? “And you’re very interesting, I’ll have you know.” 

“Yeah?” a small smile tugs on your lips. You sink further into his cottonball of a couch, feeling utterly soft and meldable at his words.

“Very,” Jungkook gets up from the couch, looking down at you, “want something sweet?” 

The prospect of dessert has you excited. Jungkook really is the perfect man, so kind and knows exactly when you’re craving something for your sweet tooth. You move to get up, only for you to sink further between the two large cushions of the loveseat. “Help me, ’m stuck,” you pout.

Jungkook giggles, and holds out his palm, “Hand,” he says simply.

You immediately reach for his larger palm, and you gasp when you feel something cold and soft touch your palm. As if you’ve been burned, you tug your hand back. But Jungkook’s hand is massive, the large ink-painted palm curling around your own, and it’s almost painful the way he clutches your hand so fiercely. 

When he’s sure you’re not going to drop it, he releases your hand. 

Nestled in your palm, is the new vibrator you left on the carpet this afternoon.

“Jeon,” you laugh tonelessly, hating the way Jungkook’s neutral expression mocks you, “you found my USB? Thanks, I know—” 

“Know that you’re having a hard time coming?” Carefully extracting your plate from your lap, he places it on the coffee table before Jungkook cages you between the couch. You shrink further into the plush seat, “I tried being a good neighbor, but you didn’t answer my texts. I heard you when I tried dropping off some snacks before dinner. Didn’t know you were into toys.” 

“Oh, c’mon Jeon. It’s 2020 and we’re confined,” well, in this scenario you’re confined, “everyone has a sex toy.” 

“Hm, I don’t have one,” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, pretending to be deep in thought, “so, can you be my toy?” 

Fuck. 

It’s then that you feel the tell-tale signs of arousal. Your eyes widen, innocently surprised at the fact that Jeon Jungkook contained so much power in so few words. You snap your legs shut immediately, sealing any possibility of you dripping down your panties. 

“I heard how disappointed you were, doll,” his arms have no problems as he bends down so he’s eye-level with your crotch, “it was pathetic, really. You couldn’t even cum on your own? You need someone to help you?” 

“N-no,” you cross your arms defensively, frowning, “you–you’re being mean, Jeon.”

“And what, you’re gonna cry about it?” Jungkook smirks, now sitting on his knees. His hands run over the velvety fabric of the couch, making a beeline for your thighs. Gooseflesh rises to the surface, and he immediately presses down to iron out the little bumps that travel across your skin, “I do wanna make you cry, but not because you can’t cum. You’ll cry because of how good I’m gonna make you feel.” 

You gape, clutching the vibrator in your hand. 

A little bit of your sweet, cute Jungkook resurfaces, softening when he notices your lack of response, “If you’ll let me, of course.” 

You finally drag the words from your throat, “I-it’s been a long time since I’ve… been with someone.” 

He tilts his head, “Same here. I just figured we could break that spell together.” 

What are you going to say? No? A dishonor to your sexuality, that would be. Jungkook’s offering himself up on a silver platter, and even though you do wish it was a little more you’ll take the sex. 

You nod, forgetting to speak again. Jungkook chuckles. 

“I want to hear you say it, doll.” 

Doll. Like you’re his little fucktoy, malleable and bendable to all his whims. Fuck, why is that so hot to you? “Yes, I want to have sex with you,” you declare, your voice sounding more breathy than confident, “a-and, you can be mean. If you want.” 

His thumbs press little light indents in your skin, over and over as if fascinated by the way your skin is so soft and gummy in his grip. “Okay,” Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to pull out his phone, jabbing a few things that you don’t see, “let’s do a little test drive, then.” 

In seconds, the little egg vibrates in your touch. He puts it on the lowest setting, a soft buzz echoing in the large living room, then at a bruising pace that forces you to curl your fingers around it otherwise it’d fall. Your eyes flicker over to Jungkook’s, who’s focusing entirely on the way the pink and silver egg moves, dilated in interest. 

“Fuck, and you thought this thing was broken?” he asks, taking it out of your palm and turning off the app. 

“Maybe I’m the broken one,” you admit softly, wringing your shirt. 

Silence seeps. Jungkook looks at you, brows furrowed as if he’s annoyed. “Don’t ever say that,” when you don’t respond, he grabs your chin, and you gasp when he forces you to look at him, “you’re not broken, doll. Everyone’s body is different, and we’re going to discover yours together. Got it?” 

“Y-yes,” you reply immediately, mesmerized by his seriousness. 

“Good,” he slaps the vibrator back in your palm, “and in case you’re wondering, this goes inside.” 

“I know how it works,” you scowl, “but won’t you show me, just in case?” 

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Jungkook gets up for good, piling the dishes in his arms and walking to the sink. You immediately miss his warmth, “but I think patience is a virtue. I have a developer meeting with some clients in America a little bit, actually. So just wait for my call, yeah?” 

You frown, looking down at the vibrator in your hands. How much longer would you have to wait? 

It happens at exactly three in the afternoon the next day, at the start of your staff meeting. You’re so tired of the same information being thrown back and forth, coupled with Brian and Jae having to fight over some mundane subject in the itinerary that no one cares about. For goodness sake, it’s Friday! What else would you possibly need to be meeting about? 

You’re wearing a button-down dress shirt on top, no pants on the bottom. Your bare feet slap against the hardwood floor, antsy. It’s been a long day at work and your back hurts, you’re half tempted to dip out of this meeting and hope no one notices. 

Your phone buzzes on your bed, and you blanch. 

[3:01] Jeon: thanks for waiting, doll. It’s time 

[3:01] Jeon: put it in

Shamelessly, your vibrator sits next to your phone, cleaned and ready to go. 

[3:02] Jeon: need help? Answer my call

Making sure that your Zoom call is muted, you quickly answer the incoming phone call. Jungkook and you say nothing at first, waiting. The phone just ticks with the amount of time passing, one minute, two minutes, and so on. 

Mr. Kim drones unknowingly, “So when we do return to live instruction, expect a strict process when returning. PPE must be enforced so our response team will—” 

“How wet were you last night when you went home?” Jungkook asks languidly, speaking over your boss’ voice. 

Your eyes widen, flickering back and forth between the phone and the camera displaying Mr. Kim’s boring speech. 

“Doll, are you hard of hearing?” 

“N-no,” your lips barely move, eyes glued to the camera and plastering an expressionless face, “I heard you.” 

“Then give me an answer,” he says patiently, “how wet were you?” 

“Very wet.”

“Little more detail.” 

“Soaking wet,” you flush, thankful that your work laptop can only stream in 360p. “I haven’t gotten that wet in such—such a long time. My pussy was practically clinging to my underwear when I washed up that night.” 

A heady, heavy groan resonates through your phone. You feel that voice straight into your panties, jolting the nerves awake. 

“Fuck, you have a way with words, don’t you?” Jungkook chuckles breathlessly, “c’mon, touch yourself for me. Swirl your fingers around your clit, slowly.” 

It takes a second for you to position yourself, spreading your legs in a way that your coworkers don’t question why you’re moving so much. A quick scan over all the tired faces says that you’re okay. Shyly, you press your fingers against your clit, doing as he says. 

“Oh,” you say more to yourself than him, feeling the wetness already coating your fingers. This is earlier than usual. 

“What?” 

“I’m already wet,” you say, amazed, “I haven’t gotten wet this quickly in a long time.” 

He scoffs, “If you’re so wet now, shove it in.” 

You frown. You did tell him to be mean. But the idea of him telling you what to do, giving you all the porn-worthy experiences to accomplish has you relenting. Discreetly grabbing the egg from the bed, you bring it down to your panties. Swirling the cold metal around your clit, you coat it in your juices. 

It’s still a little too early to be putting anything in, but you can take it. Slowly relaxing, you slip the little egg in your pussy, wiggling it a little to make sure it’s secure. It’s a strange sort of pressure, and it pokes against your clit from the inside, but you enjoy the stretch. 

“It’s in,” you reply softly. 

“Good.” 

You wait. You listen to Jae make yet another speech about the importance of masks and gloves, and then Brian has to interject and say that gloves are literally useless because they spread germs around no matter what. Even though everyone else is muted, you can practically feel the misery seeping through the screen. For a second you almost forget about Jungkook on the line. Why isn’t Mr. Kim stopping them? This is the thin line stopping you from the weekend, unbelievable! 

“Eep!” you jolt in your cheap seat, the egg buzzing in your pussy. Your hands fly out, gripping the edges of your computer. 

It hits different when Jungkook is in control. Knowing that with a flick of his thumb he can have you careening, whining for more or less depending on how hard he wants you go. Your folds hug the egg, nestling it a fleshy grip as it brushes against your clit the more you squirm. 

“You look so pretty, trying so hard to hold in your moans,” Jungkook says wondrously from the other line. 

“W-what?” you frown, “you can see me?” 

And immediately, you go to your trackpad to fish between the hundred-and-one employees also in this call. At the very end, you see a very simple name with no mic or camera: Jeon JK. He’s here. 

“Worked in IT, doll. Know a thing or two,” he says, “now, tell me. What are you thinking about right now?” 

“Y-you,” you mumble shyly. 

“So,” Mr. Kim finally ends that part of the meeting, thank goodness, “what’s everyone’s plans this weekend? I’m going apple picking with a couple of my friends from college. Hoseok is a bright bean who loves to take long walks—”

What the hell. You squirm uncomfortably in your seat, hyperaware that Jungkook’s watching your every move. You make glossy, stubborn eyes at the camera, trying not to move when he jacks up the vibrator to a higher setting. 

Jae’s of course the next employee to unmute his microphone, “Well, me and the bae are going house hunting…” 

“Fuck!” you cry, moving the computer to the left so you can pretend you’re picking up something. But in fact you're leaning your head against your mattress, frustrated. “I don’t fucking care about your weekend plans, Jae! Shut the fuck up! You wanna know my weekend plans?” Jungkook’s laughing at you from the other line, but it only spurs you on, “my plans are fucking my super hot neighbor! He’s a hundred times more interesting than you and he’s going to make me come a hundred times this weekend—oh fuck!” 

Your fingers latch onto your panties, drawing random squiggles and letters between the fabric. You’re damp, soaked to the core. You need some sort of friction, a reprieve from this hellish week.

“You flatter me, doll,” Jungkook is definitely grinning through the phone, you can practically hear his shit-eating grin, “I think you deserve a reward. As soon as you put the camera back on your pretty face.” 

Quickly, you sit up to put the camera on you again. Once again, the employees are in a daze, listening to whatever the next person gabs about their weekend. Even though you can’t really see it, you’re sure Jungkook has a 1080p camera upstairs that shows off your blotchy face. You moan a little bit, lips closed as the egg buzzes against your pussy lips. 

“You’re so cute, doll,” Jungkook praises, “you look so professional, holding it in. What could I do to make you unravel? Hm, what if you imagined the taste of my cock on your lips? Fuck, I’d love to slap your cute little face with my cock, baby doll–”

“y/n?” Mr. Kim calls your name, and you freeze, “what about you? Any plans this weekend?” 

Jungkook doesn’t sound angry that your boss has inadvertently cut him off. “Answer him, doll. Be a good little employee.” 

Like a zombie, you move towards the unmute button. “I–I uh,” you shake your head, trying to formulate a coherent response, “I’m going on a date this weekend.” 

Jungkook jacks up the vibrator to high, and your legs are shaking. 

“Awh, a date!” Mr. Park unmutes himself, practically shoving the camera in his face, “how much do you like the lucky lad or lady?” 

“I like him uh—ah—” you pretend to think, covering a hand over your mouth to hide the fact that you feel your orgasm fast approaching, “I like him a lot!” you finally blurt, “I’m, uh, really excited to see him.” 

“Best of luck to you,” Mr. Kim says brightly, “so Jimin, any news on those investors you had dinner with this weekend? I heard a lot of positive things…”

You immediately mute your mic, and pretend to lag as you fumble around with the camera. Shoving the laptop to the side once more you groan into your sheets, “Fuck—fuck yes—” you moan, shaking your head as you dip your fingers into your panties. The vibrator still continues at its bruising pace, spurring you to a high you haven’t peaked to in months.

“Good job,” Jungkook says simply, “could barely notice that you have a little helper fiddling around your dripping pussy.”

“J-Jeon,” you cry, “I’m, ’m gonna cum.” 

“Yeah?” Jungkook eggs you on, “you’re gonna cum around that cute little vibrator? Gonna soak it in your juices?” 

“W-wish it was your cock I was soaking,” you whisper truthfully, letting your orgasm take you at the thought. Your folds flutter around the vibrator, bringing you to a level of sensitivity you’ve only dreamt of, “Ah, yes, Jeon. It feels s-so good!” 

“Yes baby,” Jungkook groans through the line, “feels good, huh?” 

Mr. Kim interrupts for the last time, “And with that, I think our meeting is adjourned. Have a wonderful weekend! Stay safe and—” 

You slam the laptop shut, grabbing your phone and keys. “I’m going up,” you mutter impatiently, already jabbing your feet in a pair of slippers and locking the door to your apartment behind you. 

“I’m waiting,” he replies, eagerness trimming his voice. 

“Password?” you ask quickly, jabbing the elevator door shut once you step inside. Thank goodness you’re alone, you think as you pull your dress shirt further down your ass. 

“Did you forget already?” he teases, “I told you, it’s 1234.” 

Thankfully, the doors zip you up straight to the penthouse. The connection is always a little spotty in elevators, and you sigh longingly when you feel the buzz jolt and leave it’s momentum, quickly losing its rhythm between your dripping folds. Once you get to the top and the elevator doors open the second door immediately swings open, revealing a soft but aroused-looking Jungkook. He looks fresh from the shower, absolutely radiant and delicious looking. 

You don’t hesitate to run up to him, and Jungkook immediately cups his face in your hands, pressing his lips to yours. 

You’re practically on your tippy-toes, and you squeak against his lips when he hooks his arms around your shoulders, immediately lifting you up. You wrap your legs around his trim waist, not wanting to stop kissing him. He’s like the sweetest ambrosia, a taste you can’t get enough of. 

The connection to your vibrator has resumed, and you can’t help but grind helplessly under Jungkook’s clothed abs as he carries the both of you to his bedroom.

“N-need you to fuck me,” you bury your head in the crook of his neck, pressing quick kisses to his jawline, “I want you s-so badly.” 

“Hello to you too,” he husks, shutting the bedroom door with his foot. 

Jungkook drops you unceremoniously, and your limbs splay out on the fresh bedsheets of his feather-soft mattress.

“You look gorgeous like this, doll.” he sighs longingly, a hand going under your buttondown to press against your soaked panties. His hand lingers on the way your pussy moves in tandem with the vibrator. 

“J-Jeon please I can’t take it—” 

“Stop calling me that,” he snaps, hands leaving your skin.

You whine at the loss of contact, “Jeon, no. Jungkook. Kook, my Kook. Please, I need you.” 

That gets him going. His pretty chocolate brown eyes zero in on you, and he immediately shucks off his shirt and sweatpants, “How much do you need me?” he asks, pulling out his phone and pressing some buttons, “how much do you need your Kook?” 

The vibrator stops. You cry out in frustration, unsure if it’s because it’s off or because Jungkook’s taking too damn long. “I need you so much, Kook,” you warble with a pout, moving to undo the top buttons of your dress shirt to reveal your cleavage, “honey, you can have me all you want later today. I want you to slap my face with your dick, edge me until I cry, anything. I’m all yours, I’m your little doll. But please for now, I need to feel you inside me.” 

“Say no more,” his lips latch onto your neck, and you sigh at the skin-to-skin contact. His hand fiddles under your shirt, clutching a breast and slapping it so hard it bounces back and forth, “fuck, you’re so pretty.” 

His hand moves to your plain cotton panties, immediately shucking them off, “doll, you really are dripping,” he’s impressed, surprised when he has to untack the fabric from your glossy legs. He hangs the panties on his wooden headboard, a little ornament for him to jack off to later. 

His fingers brush over your folds, wasting no time to slip the vibrator out. He holds it between your faces, forcing you to stare at the pearly substance that coats the entirety of the egg. “Mm, tasty tasty,” he cooes, pink tongue darting out to lick a long strip across the oval. 

You tug him closer, pressing his lips to yours. He tastes a mixture of his own saliva and your arousal, and you grind helplessly against him. You feel how big his cock is, rock-hard and trying very diligently not to bust. He must have a crazy amount of control, and it drives you nuts. 

“Kook,” you frown, bumping your crotch with his.

“Impatient, good thing I am too,” he shucks off his boxers while you unbutton the rest of your shirt, “knees and hands, doll.” 

You don’t care how or what way he’ll take you. Fuck, he could bend you into an Auntie Anne’s pretzel and you’d comply. 

Arching your back so your ass is in the air, you wiggle around, hoping he’ll take the bait. That’s when you sigh, feeling the tip of his dick brush against your wetness.

“Soaking my cock already, baby,” he says, “you’re so good to me.” 

And finally, finally, he slips in. You don’t even care that it stretches you a little too far and too long, it’s been too damn long since you’ve had decent dick and Jungkooks far more than decent. 

He goes at a quick pace, finally showing how impatient he’s been all this time. Your moans and groans fill the room, a symphony of pleasure and pain as he stretches your walls to the brim. You hold a pillow to your chest, feeling woozy at the way his fat cock stretches you out. 

“F-fuck yeah,” the pace is hard, you practically feel it in your belly, and you love it. “You feel so fucking tight, baby,” he’s all up in your ear, kissing the lobe briefly, “I love the way you suck my cock back in.” 

“Kook,” you press your ass back, “harder, please. I’m your little doll, right? Y-you can fuck me however you want, as hard as you want! Please, ah—! Use me!” 

You cry out when he slips from your folds, immediately flipping you on your back. He wastes no time to wet his dick, lifting one leg over his shoulder to have you deeper. This position is far more intimate, and your noses are practically touching as he thrusts into you. 

You can’t believe you’re in bed with Jeon Jungkook. This must be a dream, a really great, really long wet dream. You crumble in his grip, and you lift a shaky hand to run through his thick black strands. 

“Why’d you make me wait so long?” you cry, staring right into his glittering eyes, “why couldn’t you come for me after your call last night?” 

“Why’d I make you wait?” he grits, crushing the flesh between your hip bones so he can have more leverage to pound into you, “why did you make me wait? Since March, I’ve wanted you. I told you I liked you, told you I fell for you.” 

“T-thought it was a joke,” you warble pathetically, breasts bouncing at his relentless rhythm.

“You think th-this is a joke?” for further emphasis, he glides slower, making you feel just how large and thick he is against your folds, “I want you, doll. Y-yeah, fu-fuck. Want to feed you every day, feed you lasagna, feed you with my cum, make you happy.” 

“I—I want that too, Kook,” you’re a pile of pink mush, and you feel your eyes prick from the overwhelming emotions that have washed over both of you. “Sh-shit, Kook. I think, I think I’m gon’ cum again.” 

“Good, you first,” his hand plays figure 8s with your precious pearl, seeping with arousal and coating his cock in delicious lubrication. 

It doesn’t take long for you to cum. You’re holding him as tight as you can, nails digging into his shoulders as you clench around his cock. Jungkook cums shortly after, and you keen at the sensitivity when his hot cum coats your walls. “Baby doll,” he exhales, thrusting lazily. The both of you feel your combined arousal drip between the two of you, onto your skin and onto his sheets, “y-you’re amazing.” 

His softened cock slips out of you, and his hands immediately reach over to swirl around the heady cream over your engorged pussy. You moan when he brings his fingers to your lips, “Open, doll.” 

It tastes salty yet sweet, and you suckle around his finger with a cute little pop. Jungkook grins brightly, feeling like he won the lottery. 

“Are my walls that thin?” you pout, pressing closer to him when he pulls the blankets to your chest. 

“Very,” Jungkook nods with a chuckle, tucking the two of you in, “now get some rest, doll. You presented a lot of offers to me earlier, and I intend to go through with them.” 

You smile into his chest, melty and feeling utterly sated. 

[themaninflannel]

Orgasms and Cold Pizza (snapshots pt1)

summary: reader met dean senior year of hs Bc she looked out for Sam. She kept in touch with both of them (but more Sam). When Sam goes off to college a sad dean shows up on her doorstep with no warning.

word count: almost 4k wtf

warnings: sad dean, drinking, virgin!reader, smut

A/N: this is part one of a new series im starting that is gonna be snapshots of the reader and deans lives together ~~~~~~~~~~ It may have been two am but I had yet to put down my book, so I was awake when I heard knocking at my front door. I wasn’t going to open it-because hello it was two am- but the knocking kept going so I was just going to tell them off. I opened the door to see a familiar face, and a sad one at that. I blearily rubbed my sleep filled eyes, “Dean?” I’m sure he could hear the confusion in my voice. 

“Sammy left,” He said dejectedly.

Without thinking I reached out for him and pulled him into my arms half expecting him to resist but instead he collapsed on to my shoulders. Releasing him, I nudged the door open a little more and pulled him farther inside. Quietly I led him into the kitchen and handed him a beer. 

“He left us, he left the life,” Dean mumbled.

“Yeah, umm he told me a while ago that he got into Stanford. I kinda figured he might,” I guiltily ran my hands through my hair. 

“He did? He sure as hell didn’t tell dad and me,” he stood up, running his hands over his face.

My legs, working on their own, carried me across the room until I was right in front of him, “Dean. You know he didn’t leave because he wanted to leave you, right?” I said putting my hand on his arm. 

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah,” 

“Hey, I mean it,” My voice was soft but firm. “You’ve always looked out for your brother, he knows that.” I was met with sullen silence. 

After a few minutes of quietly sipping on our drinks he spoke up. “I mean I know this life ain’t easy but college, man!?”

“You know the boy’s always liked school,” I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. It did not work. “Alright. Are we getting drunk then?”

“Yep,” he said after downing the rest of his beer, “you got anything stronger?”

“Oh do you doubt me, Winchester?” I got up and opened the pantry to show the assortment of liquor bottles.

“Well then,” he raised his eyebrows as I dropped a bottle of whiskey in front of him, keeping the vodka for myself.

Once Dean had made it most of the way through his bottle he seemed more nostalgic than sad, “Do you remember back in high school…” he paused to take another drink, “when you thought Sammy needed to be taken care of?”

“Hey! In my defense he was very small then! And he did get picked on,”

“Ok, fair enough” he raised his hands in defense, “I’m glad you had his back,”

“Yeah well, someone had too since you kept getting in trouble,” It continued on like this for a while until I had deemed it time to cut Dean off and make him go to bed. “Alright come on, I’ll get you settled in my room,”

Just as I was leaving the room I heard a voice behind me, “do you think he’s gonna come back?”

“Honestly? I don’t know, but I know that just because he went off to school doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you,” I said turning back towards him and sitting on the bed.

“Psh. I know dads not the biggest joy in our lives but why can’t he just suck it up?” My heart broke when his voice cracked. Even in the dark I could tell he was tears eyed. 

“He and your dad have always had a tricky relationship,” I commented, scooting closer to him.

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “you should have seen it the night he left,” I could see on his face that it had gotten bad between them that night.

“I never liked your father,”

“He didn’t like you much either,” he admitted.

“Well, I’d imagine not!” It got quiet as we both remembered the first time I had met John Winchester.

Sam had invited me over to study for a history exam, even though I was a senior and he was a freshman we were in the same class. He was slightly embarrassed to tell me that he lived in a motel but that quickly faded once we got to studying. We were almost done when his brother came back. 

“Heya Sammy,”

“Dean! I thought you were supposed to be gone all day?” 

“Eh, got bored,” he dismissed. Flopping down on one of the beds, opening up a magazine. “Dads gonna be pissed you brought her over,”

“What is your problem with me Dean?” I spoke up, I wasn’t gonna let Sam get pushed around like that.

“I don’t care either way, but dad doesn’t like us having people over,” As if on queue an older man opened the door.

“Boys,” He gruffly acknowledged the boys, not noticing me at first, “who’s this?” He gestured to me, his voice making it clear that there was more involved in his question.

“Oh, umm,” Sam stuttered.

“I’m Y/N, I was helping Sam study but we were just finishing up,” I jumped in trying to help the poor boy out.

“Well Y/N, it’s probably about time you were heading out. I have some business to discuss with my boys.”

In class the next day Sam barely looked at me, and Dean-well Dean never paid me much attention anyway. After the bell rang I ran after Sam before Dean could drive off.

“Sam! Wait up dude,” he ignored me until I was close enough to grab his elbow, “Hey, what’s wrong? It’s like you were somewhere else today,”

“Oh, uh, hey Y/N,” he was clearly avoiding the question. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dean walk up to the car, seemingly hiding his face. 

“Come on Sammy, get in the car,” As he got in the car I caught a glimpse of a purple bruise on his jaw.

“Um sorry, we have to get home before Dad” Sam explained shyly. As they drove away I connected the dots between Dean’s bruise and their fear of their father. Right then and there I decided I was going to protect Sam as much as I could, I doubted Dean would let me but I knew I was gonna try.

“You should probably get some sleep,” Dean’s voice was hoarse, and much closer than I had realized. At some point we had ended up leaning on each other, slumped in the center of the bed. 

“Alright, but I’m not leaving you here to be sad and alone so don’t hog all the covers,” I sleepily shuffled under the blanket, Dean sliding in beside me. He fell asleep almost immediately, but me? I was laying there trying to wrap my brain around this version of Dean, the version thats cocky and tough I’m familiar with but this vulnerable and insecure Dean is a side I hadn’t seen before. Somewhere in the night we had ended up wrapped in each other's limbs, his head on my chest, his arms circling my waist. 

Dean was still asleep when I woke up; I laid there with my hand in his hair, realizing that this was as relaxed as I had been in a long while and I was in no rush to wake him up. We stayed like that until Dean started to stir,

“Morning sleepyhead,”

“Oh uh, mornin’,” he mumbled, rolling away seemingly embarrassed.

“How ya feeling after last night? You downed most of that whiskey,” I teased, poking his shoulder.

“Ha-shut up, I’m fine”

“Well, personally I am severely under-caffeinated so I’m gonna go make coffee,” I said definitively, pushing myself up heading to the kitchen. Dean got up and followed me, pointedly ignoring how we woke up. 

“You wanna coffee?” I asked, reaching up to the cabinet where my favorite mug was.

“Yes, please,” he said emphatically, running his hands over his face to wake himself up a little. 

“Ok, you gotta tell me more about what you and your brother do,” I slid a mug across the island to him, “I mean he told me a little bit about the life, and you’ve filled me in a little, but I’m curious,” 

“Nah, you don’t need to know how fucked up the world actually is,”

“Please. I already know the world is a flaming piece of garbage, you wouldn’t be bursting any bubbles with that realization,” My voice came out more cynical than I meant. 

“You really wanna know? About all the things that go bump in the night? All the monsters who are dying to eat your face?”

“Yeah. If I’m gonna have to live in the world with all that crap then I’d like to at least know what’s what,” I didn’t expect him to actually tell me, but he launched into stories about the creatures that he and Sammy have fought. We talked for hours, me asking questions, him telling stories. By the time he seemed to have run out of stories and he deemed I was sufficiently afraid it was early afternoon.

“Shit, is it already three? I should get on the road soon,”

“Do you have to? You can stay here another night, ya know,” I hoped he would stay.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna over stay my welcome, I already showed up out of the blue-“

“Dean. You’re staying.” I interrupted, “you can show up any time, I like the company,” 

After convincing him to stay we ordered pizza and settled in for a chill night of movies and beer. 

After we stuffed ourselves with pizza and watched as many shitty comedies as we could handle, we were tipsy and sleepy and I made the executive decision that it was time for us (well, at least me) to crash for the night. After telling Dean he could watch whatever he wanted I headed into my room, put on comfy clothes and got curled up under the covers. A while after, when I was just starting to drift off I heard the door open,

“Hey, Y/N? You still awake?”

“Hmm? Yeah,” my voice was thick with sleep.

“Can I- um can I sleep in here again?” He sounded so timid, not at all like the over confident persona he normally put on.

“Of course, come ‘ere,” I smiled, pulling the blankets down on the other side of the bed. He took his jeans off leaving him only in his boxers and climbed in next to me.

“You sure this is ok?” He asked again before fully relaxing.

“Dude, if I wasn’t chill with it I wouldn’t have said yes. Plus, you slept in here last night anyway,”

“I know, and we ended up the way we did this morning and I just- I wasn’t sure-“ I cut him off by pulling his arm over my side and shushing him. With him as the big spoon I think he had gotten it through his head that I wanted him there. 

“Hey dean?” He grunted in acknowledgment, “You show up here after almost four years, I just- I gotta ask, why here? Why did you come to my door?” He was silent for a long time, I thought he may have fallen asleep.

“Honestly?” I nodded, “I don’t know, you were one of the few people who knew Sammy like I did, and who knew about our lives,” he paused, “I think it just seemed the least complicated place to go.” He finished quietly.

“Fair enough, I’m glad you did though. I worry about you boys,” we fell back into a comfortable silence before he spoke again.

“Ok, my turn to ask something,” I twisted until I was facing him.

“Go for it,”

“Why is it just you living here? Doesn’t it get lonely?”

“Sometimes, but I like having the place to myself,”

“I always liked to think that after Sammy I left, you would have shacked up with some dude and lived the apple pie life,” 

“Oh please. You know that’s not my style,” I scoffed, “and as far as me and dudes there’s never been anyone of importance,”

“Really? No one?” He seemed surprised by this.

“What? Is it so hard to believe?” 

“But why?”

“You’ve met me, you know feeeelings aren’t my thing,”

“Ok but like what about hookup or something, you did go to college right? Isn’t that part of college life?”

“I don’t like doing new things with strangers, it is what it is. I’m not upset about it,” I shrugged.

“Just wouldn’t have pegged you as a virgin,”

“Oh I give off slutty vibes do I?” I teased him.

“No- I just- never mind,” I could practically see him mentally smacking himself in the forehead.

“Good night, Dean,” I rolled back over and he wrapped his arm back around my waist.

The next morning I woke up with Dean still pressed against my back, I don’t know if we moved at all in the night. I just knew that I slept like a rock. And that there was something poking me in the back. It took me a minute to figure out what it was but when it dawned on me I couldn’t help but giggle a little bit.

“Hey, ummm, Dean?” It came out higher than I meant it to.

“Hmm?” He sleepily responded, “oh shit, Y/N I’m sorry, I didn’t mean- it just-it does that sometimes,” He moved away from me covering his face with his hands.

“I didn’t say I was upset about it,” I slowly pulled his hand down until he could see me.

“What…. Y/N..? Huh?” You’d think he was the virgin not me.

“I said, I wasn’t upset. I just thought you should know that your dick-“

“Whoa! Ok, enough,” he cut me off. Turning his body to face me, our faces closer together than before, “are you serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” My voice came out thin and whispery, but I leaned towards him anyway. I could almost hear my heartbeat in my ears, but the second that his lips touched mine that was the only thing I could focus on. After a second he pulled back with a questioning look in his eyes, I nodded and he kissed me again. Harder this time, his tongue finding its way into my mouth, my hand to his hair, his hands...everywhere. We stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled away again, this time taking his whole body a few inches away from mine pulling a needy whine (that I will deny ever happened) out of me.

“Wait...wait, we can’t do this,” he said breathlessly.

“And why the hell not?” 

“You’ve never…your first shouldn’t be me,” 

“Why not. You’re not a stranger and there doesn’t need to be feelings. Checks all my boxes,”

“Oh wow, you sure know how to make a guy feel special,” I rolled my eyes and pulled him so his face was close to mine again.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I want this. You’re not taking advantage or anything like that, ok?” That was all he needed to hear before pushing himself so he was hovering over me, mouth back on mine, hands in my hair. Soon his mouth moved along my jaw and down my neck making sounds come out of my mouth that I didn’t think I could make. I could feel him smirking as he moved back up to my jaw. I could feel his hands start to migrate under my shirt, stopping just below my rib cage. I knew he was waiting for permission before going any farther so I pushed him onto his back before tearing my shirt off and leaning over him so I was on top. 

“No bra?” He questioned his hand automatically going to my boobs, flicking one of my nipples.

“Who sleeps in a bra?” I tried to say it jokingly but his mouth found my other nipple making it turn into a gasp. I tried to get back at him by grinding my hips down on the bulge that was now under me. He made a delicious gasp/moan sound that just made me never want to stop. I slowly shifted myself, kissing my way down his chest, giving attention to each nipple as I passed it, eventually making my way down to his happy trail and the edge of his boxers.

“Ahh…..sweetheart… you don’t-you don’t have to do that. Not... for your first time,” 

“Oh, but what if I want to?” The words came out sugary sweet, just the thought of what was about to happen was enough to dampen my underwear. I looked up at him for permission and he nodded, his eyes closing when I turned my attention back to the waistband of his boxers. He moaned loudly when I placed soft kisses on his fabric covered length before I pulled his shorts down and he kicked them the rest of the way off. Once he was fully exposed I took a second to admire what I saw; the toned muscle of his chest, the soft skin on his stomach, all the way down to his perfectly pink cock standing up out of a bush of dark curls.

“Like what you see?” He teased.

As an answer I leaned back down and licked a stripe from his balls all the way up to his leaking head. I earned a gasp and then a groan when I took the whole head into my mouth hollowing my cheeks and taking in as much of him as I could, one hand coming up to pump the part that I couldn’t fit in my mouth and the other reaching up and playing with his balls. 

“Holy….you shouldn’t be..how do you….” He gave up trying to make coherent  sentences when I took his dick out of my mouth and sucked one of his balls. Once I had given them enough attention I moved back to his shaft, lavishing it in kisses and licks.

“Ok...I’m not gonna…. you gotta stop… if you want this to last…” he brought his hand to my face and pulled me back up so he could kiss me. His other hand came around my hip and flipped us so he was hovering above me with a shiteating grin on his face. It was his turn to tease me, he moved down so his face was right above my belly button. His fingers hooked into the waistband of my sleep shorts pulling them off. As soon as he had me naked he went back to kissing and licking everywhere he could, after some pleading from me he finally moved back between my legs where I needed him most. He licked a stripe between my folds, giving extra attention to my clit. I could feel the knot in my stomach tightening already, my breathing getting faster. He was still swirling his tongue in circles when one of his large fingers pushed into me making me moan and arch my back, pushing impossibly closer to his face. I could feel him smiling as he continued to work his finger in and out of me, eventually adding another curling them upward reaching that one spot that I could never quite reach myself. The knot in my stomach tightened even more, my hips bucking on their own.

“D.. I’m close..”

“Let go baby, I wanna taste it,” that’s all it took for me to cum on his face. Blissed out and breathing heavily I almost missed Dean looking smug wiping my juices off of his chin. 

“We don’t have to keep going…” he said and I think he really would have been totally fine stopping if I asked but I was nowhere near ready to be done.

“Condoms are in the nightstand,” was my bold way of saying I wanted to keep going. I could tell it caught him by surprise but before I could say anything else he had plopped himself on top of me to get to the drawer.

“Eager much?”I laughed as his full body weight was still splayed over me. He rolled his eyes and kissed me again rolling the condom on. I could feel his hard length resting against my stomach as we kissed, all tongues and teeth. We had gotten past the timid part and were both ready for more. He shifted and I could feel the tip hit my sensitive clit making me gasp, his cock slid between my folds and pushed into my entrance, he stopped making sure I was good before he slowly pushed the rest of the way in. Once he was fully seated inside me, his head fell down on my shoulder, his lips moving on my neck. I got impatient and moved my hips making him slip out a little bit, Dean took the hint and started to move. His pelvis hit my clit every thrust and he one of his hands came up and played with my nipple, I was overwhelmed by all the new sensations that I didn’t even realize I was making sounds that I had never made before. With each movement dean hit that spot inside that made my eyes roll back, before long I could feel the knot tightening again. Deans thrusts started to get shaky and uneven,

“I’m not gonna last…” he grunted, his face buried in my neck.

“Me… neither,” my hips bucked and with one more snap of his hips I came undone. That was all it took for him to spill himself into the condom. He collapsed next to me throwing the condom in the trash.

“Well….” I exhaled, breathing heavily.

“Yeahhh…” deans breathing matched my own.

“Soo, I’m not a virgin anymore,”

“No you are not,” He sounded real happy with himself. And honesty, and couldn’t blame him.

“Job well done I’d say,” I reached over to high five him. 

We laid there in exhausted silence for a while before either one of us had enough energy to do anything.

“Well, I am starving and there is cold pizza in the fridge,”I declared as I got out of bed and threw on some comfy clothes. I was halfway through my second piece of cold pizza when dean came trudging out of my room. With my mouth full of pizza I gestured to the open box.

“So…” Dean awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, “you’re really good with what just happened?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Organs and pizza is a good way to start the day,”

“I don’t know, I mean it was your first time?”

“Oh D, are you worried I’m gonna fall in love with you?” I mocked.

“What no- I just- I was checking on you is all!”

“Ohhh little defensive much? Maybe I should worry about you falling in love with me,” I teased waving pizza in his face. 

When we had finished making fun of each other the topic turned serious.

“So, you gonna head back to your dad today?” I asked.

“Yeah, I should actually head out soon,” he said quietly. We chatted for a while longer before he decided it was time for him to go. He gathered his things and made his way to the door,

“Just one thing before you go,” I stopped him in the doorway, “give your brother a call, ok? He walked out on your father not on you,”

“Yeah, I will. Thanks sweetheart,” he hugged me and then he was gone. It had been four years since I met him in high school and I wondered if I would ever see the green eyed hunter again. I sure hoped I would. 

[saltine-kakyoin]

ok i CANNOT take it anymore I simply MUST know. spill the beans on the Star Catinum scene please 🙏🏼🙏🏼💝💝💝🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I have been wondering for SO LONG and I am SO CURIOUS

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET INTO THIS, LEMME PROVIDE SOME EXPOSITION! :3 the Star Catinum Scene was heavily inspired by the one fan art of splat w the BIG dinner plate eyes, the one where’s he’s like owo and then O W O. it reminded me of a cat! and then i thought of this one post i saw ages ago about how much it’d suck if catra’s eyes went all big + dilated in the middle of one of her fights with adora, and then... the dots connected and, to quote my main man kronk, it was all coming together now :3 another big part of this is the adventure i had w coffee in ny, which we’ve talked about here in there in chat! w that said, lemme dive right in!! this might get long, so i’m gonna put it into a readmore just in case!

sO. the star catinum scene is from the sda, which means kak is roomies w camille in paris while jotaro is grappling w friend/family withdrawal in florida! Jotaro travels + visits everyone when he can, bc he is just. Mad lonely in florida. he might grump about all of the crusaders, but he really do be lovin + missing them, you know? On Kak and Camille’s end, this is normally fine! however, the visit that takes place in the star catinum scene is like. towards the later end of the semester for Kak, and inconveniently RIGHT in the middle of one of his final projects for the semester. So! Instead of trying to juggle the project + jotaro, he decides, fuck it! I’m gonna go crazy go stupid and finish it in advance so I can devote all of my attention to jotaro + what he’s been up to when he arrives. :)

nonetheless, jotaro’s visit sneaks up on him, in the way that these kinds of situations do, and he really becomes unhinged that week! He’s gone, painting for nights on end, leading up to Jotaro’s arrival + distressingly, he’s still not done the day/night before jotaro’s set to arrive! Kakyoin is normally a pretty levelheaded and rational guy, but all pretense has jumped out the window. he just Needs to finish this project at this point. SO. that night right before jotaro flies in, Kak stops by the cafe right underneath his and Camille’s apartment that’s run by a turkish and indian couple, and orders two large cups of their most intense brew. With his project and his coffee in hand, he sets off for a parisian rooftop to finish what he started, chugging the first cup as he goes. The first cup is nice, and really gets him going and in the mode! however, he gets so hyperfocused on the painting that he forgets there’s a second cup- at least, until he almost trips on it hours later! And then he’s like. Oh. Oh GOD. there’s a second cup! full of coffee! what do? The small voice of reason that’s been dwindling throughout this week is like: noriaki....whatever you Do, do NOT drink that cup. just let it go. toss it. But another, louder part of him is like: but you are getting kind of sleepy tho.. and are you done with your project yet? No? Then why waste the money by throwing the cup away? Just drink it dude...

So, he drinks it! which is fine and dandy for all of five minutes, until the caffeine REALLY begins kicking and oh, oh god. he should Not have had the second cup of coffee...Filled with regret and too much energy to handle, he feverishly finishes up the painting, slowly losing a grip on reality with each stroke! it almost feels like his body is trying to exorcise itself, which he can’t really blame it for. almost drunkenly, he stumbles back to his and camille’s apartment- thank god for hierophant catching his missteps and making sure the painting isn’t tarnished on the journey! He stumbles back into the apartment, which is pretty dark beyond the light peeking out from camille’s bedroom + the flickering glow of the flames from her new candles. she steps out of her room when she hears he’s finally home, and ooh. Kakyoin may be lost in the caffeine sauce, but he can almost Feel the concern radiating from Camille’s person. she barrages him with a bunch of questions, seemingly all at once. wherewereyou? are you okay? isitfinished? whendidyoulastsleep? Most importantly, are you going to be well enough to get pick Jotaro up from the train station in a few hours? 

Kakyoin waves these questions off as his body plummets into the wonderfully plump cushions of their sofa- painting,i’mfine,yes,idon’tknow, and Yes. just let me close my eyes for a moment...i’ll be fine just wake me up when it’s time to get jotaro. And then, he slips into a deep deep slumber. 

 (i’ve gotta get ready for work soon, so i’m gonna copypasta the rest from my explanation of it to jules!! which is grand bc i feel that explanation captures the fever dream quality of it much better than i am here!)

Camille watcches him melt into the couch + basically enter a coma with mounting anxiety. Normally Jotaro calls when he's arrived at the train station from the airport, and despite the early hour she doesn't really expect this time to be any different. However, it's normally Always Kakyoin that goes to get him. and then they go out for lunch, or dinner, or breakfast. or just a random snack run at the oddest hours of the day. Normally Camille hardly interacts with Jotaro, and she’s used to their interactions always falling flat.. she doesn't know why. Kakyoin assures her that that's just how Jotaro is: quiet, expressive in his own ways. but it gnaws at camille

So anyhow, she waits for Jotaro to call with Dread, because the situation can go one of two ways: kakyoin emerges from his like 2 hour nap after not sleeping for at least a day or two, and the entire visit is off because Kakyoin himself is off skelter. Or, she answers the phone and gets jotaro from the train station Herself + maybe makes him dislike her even more! both options make her stomach drop, and she can't stop her eyes from constantly drifting over to kakyoin, who looks a little too still, a little too cold, a lot of too worn out. She grabs her nicest, most comfortable blanket and throws it over him.. maybe it'll help him sleep better, and hopefully it'll help ease her mind

she does some meditation until jotaro Finally FINALLY calls. Kakyoin is the lightest sleeper known to man for reasons that Camille is unable to understand, so she leaps on their telephone. jotaro's voice is something that strikes fear in her, and having his voice right up in her ear at like 3 am is the least ideal thing ever. it throws all of her meditation out the window, and the harebrained anxiety is Back.

hurriedly, she tells jotaro that they'll be over to pick him up soon! and she can't help but notice the deflated, "Oh." she gets back in response, which baffles her even further. (jules said that was bc he was just waking up from his own personal red-eye flight fever dream nap, and I cannot agree more!) Sure, it's normally always kakyoin that gets jotaro, but what's so wrong with her tagging along? It's not a far walk from their apartment to the train station- what if she just wanted to get out of the house? anyhow, the thought only serves to make camille more nervous.

she decides right after hanging up that No. She is Not going to wake kakyoin up for this- he really needs the sleep, jotaro be damned. it's not like they're going to get up to anything at this hour anyways. She shimmies into her outerwear + yeehaws over to the gare du nord, where she finds jotaro pretty quickly (he’s so tall!). he's like, "Oh- you. Where's Kakyoin?" and she spitballs the entire thing to him because Camille is just a motormouth when her nerves are high

Camille is expecting Jotaro to be miffed, just a little bit, but surprisingly, he's pretty chill about the whole thing. He's grateful to Camille for coming to get him, because otherwise he'd get hopelessly lost in the maze of the city. This is where Camille begins to realize, hm.. perhaps she was too harsh of a judge..mayhaps.. jotaro really is just Like That, as kakyoin has said at least six times before.. what a concept.

They start walking back to the apartment, and Jotaro's mostly concerned about Kakyoin and why the dude's currently comatose on their couch. Camille just keeps rambling and maybe giving out more information than she should, but Camille is just like Polnareff in that regard. she doesn't notice his gaze soften at their similarity, or at the concept that kakyoin would work himself raw just to make time for jotaro's visit... (which Kakyoin shouldn't have to, not for his sake! but the concept pokes at the small beast in jotaro that fancies kakyoin, which.. ugh. that's an entire thing for him to wrestle with.)

so they make it back to the apartment, and camille urges him to be really quiet as they enter- 'did you know, kakyoin's a super light sleeper? i stubbed my toe and cursed once and it woke him up! it's a little odd, i wonder why he's like that.' but jotaro knows. he learned why early sometime in their third year, an admittance uttered in the pitch black of the ocean at an ungodly hour. death 13, a stand he never met, or at least one that he doesn't remember meeting? and yet one that had such a profound impact on kakyoin. in the present, he puts more thought into his footsteps as they cross the threshold between the apartment commons and kakyoin and camille's apartment.

And oh, there he is. buried under a heaping white blanket, with only the left side of his face poking out. jotaro grins ever so slightly, looking at the noodle strayed madly across the side of his head that jotaro can see- how intensely had kakyoin flung himself at the couch? he feels like his eyes rest on kakyoin a moment too long, and maybe camille feels it too. or maybe her mind is just buffering- kakyoin had said she was squirrel-minded sometimes. as if her brain were leaping from one thing to another at such incredible speeds that she herself struggled to keep up with it

camille whispers so lightly that jotaro almost doesn't hear her. but once he does catch on to what she is saying, something takes hold of his heart and tries to drag it under. She's afraid to wake Kakyoin up and ask him to move because he really needs the sleep, but that means jotaro's pick for bed is either her bed (sized for one petite camille and therefore most Definitely not fit for one giant Jotaro) or kakyoin's (which is better suited for jotaro's height but also DANGEROUS)

he feels her eyes upon him like a searing iron on flesh. camille means well, and camille has No Idea what feelings he has- he knows she doesn't think anything of his silence, his deliberation...but god. in this tiny apartment lit only by candlelight, it sure feels like she's peering into his soul and judging him. nonetheless, he ends up choosing kakyoin's bed. his flight was long, and camille's bed is just. not cut out for him! that, and it'sonlyonenightit'sonlyonenightit'sonlyonenight. once kakyoin is up tomorrow.. or whenever he's up......he and jotaro can just switch beds and there'll be no problems. this is what jotaro tells himself, but his mind still runs rampant as he lies in kakyoin's bed. thisiskakyoin'sbed. this is where kakyoin sleeps Every Single Night. this is where kakyoin would be sleeping Right Now if he hadn't run himself ragged in preparation for your visit. he did that for youforyouforyou! but also.. he should not have done that for you- you always have this effect. it's an endless cycle all night long- jotaro is thankful when the exhaustion from the airport finally shuts his brain up

needless to say, jotaro feels like shit when he wakes up. camille feels like shit when she wakes up. nobody had a good night except for kakyoin, and that's only if you count out his feverish journey back to the apartment as his body tried to violently keep itself from tearing apart at the seams due to drinking Way Too Much strong coffee. camille's already up when jotaro clambers out of kakyoin's room, starting the pot for the morning. she takes one look at him and empathizes, asks how he takes his coffee. they chat quietly as it brews- camille tells him that the only person she thinks got a good night's sleep is kakyoin, who is still out of it. bemused, she tells jotaro how she misjudged where the counter was earlier and accidentally ended up slamming her mug on it, which she was SURE was going to wake up kakyoin. but behold... the beast still slumbers!

this is a really pivotal moment for jotaro and camille's friendship, this quiet morning talk. they don't talk about anything in particular, just whatever floats into camille's mind. they're both too tired to really care about any preconceived notions they had about the other, which is how they both learn that they had horribly misjudged the other. huh, would you look at that!

at some point as they're chatting, star platinum peels away from jotaro to go check on kakyoin, which used to happen often, especially back in tibet. this would annoy jotaro any other time- he very distinctly remembers kakyoin harshly telling him i'mfinei'mfinei'mfine, i'm not going to break or anything. but star (and thus, by extension, jotaro..) has always been the type to Need to check. star has always been a bit more anxious about kakyoin after dio, which jotaro really thinks is pretty fair. seeing your best friend getting rolled into a helicopter with a giant gaping hole in his abdomen will do that to you!

but anyhow. star peels away from jotaro to check on kakyoin, and jotaro allows it. he is concerned about kakyoin- although jotaro's guilty of it, too, it's no good to be staying up for that long and knocking yourself straight out with old coffee. he keeps chatting with camille through all of this- star platinum is up to Risky Business, but camille can't see him. jotaro's fine

(except camille CAN see him and she's too petrified to say anything about it lmao)

so while he and camille keep chatting, star platinum hovers over to kakyoin, and really takes the dude in. admittedly, kakyoin looks worse for wear. his skin has an odd pallor to it that makes jotaro feel a little queasy, and the bags under kakyoin's eyes don't go unnoticed either. his brow is deeply furrowed, and absently jotaro wonders what's plaguing kakyoin in his sleep. it's always been like this, since death 13. since the coma. he wants to smooth kakyoin's brow out, to run his thumb along it. but that's dangerous.

instead, star acts on instinct and reaches out to push The Noodle, the damnable beast, out of his face. star moves slowly- he doesn't want to wake kakyoin up, after all. it was just in the way. Of Kakyoin, that is. Not Jotaro looking at his face. Never that.

however, jotaro gets caught up in the thought, and in the implication of the thought, and star's finger brushes against kakyoin's ear way more than he had intended to (read: he hadn't intended to!! *cue internal screaming*), and oh. god. oh god. kakyoin's index finger fidgets, and then his eyebrows relax. has jotaro fucked up. oh god. if he woke up kakyoin he might just chuck himself out the window and into the traffic below them

as jotaro's thinking this, star platinum, the fucking beast, remains firmly planted in front of kakyoin. despite all the sirens going off in jotaro's mind, it stays there. most times, he feels like star platinum and he are pretty well in sync. but sometimes, he wonders if star platinum has a will of its own- is it Really just jotaro floating around in there? he wondered this at the very beginning, in that jail cell, and he begrudingly wonders about it now. getbackinhererightnow, and Yet! star platinum remains, taking in kakyoin with wide eyes. beside him, camille takes a very long sip of her coffee.

kakyoin wakes up slowly, as if sleep is not yet done with him. when he finally does manage to crack open his eyes, he blinks once, twice. slowly. why is it so bright. why is it so Purple? once his brain finally rejoins the land of the living, he is able to discern what the purple nebula before him is- it's star platinum? looking at him with eyes the size of dinner plates? his mouth utters the stand's name before he can quite process what's going on, but the second he does, splat is gone. faintly, he hears a choke from across the room, and that's what finally wakes him up. his gaze is drawn over to his and camille's kitchen, where camille is very pointedly digging around in their fridge. but next to her is the hulking jotaro kujo, choking on what kakyoin... judging by scent alone, guesses is coffee.

the scent triggers something in kakyoin’s mind, and then it all hits him like a train- overwhelming and all at once. oh dear god, he slept for far too long. he missed jotaro's arrival completely! and now jotaro is here choking on coffee in their kitchen. Jotaro is here!! and kakyoin was only just now waking up, disgustingly sweaty, under a mountainous blanket- camille's? oh dear god. what a nightmare!

in any other circumstance kakyoin would go to hug jotaro or shake his hand, but this. this was not it. his breath smelled like coffee that was much too old and God, he was so hot! he felt like his clothes had been glued to his skin. he yells out some sort of greeting, some acknowledgement that hey!! it's jotaro! but the words are jumbled and a pretty pitiful mix of english, japanese, and french. and then he vaults over the couch and into his room, WHERE! Jotaro's suitcase is?????? he trips on it, yells out some sort of profanity, grabs some clothes, and proceeds to promptly lock himself in the shower for at least fifteen minutes.

in these fifteen minutes, it's just intense kill bill sirens on all ends. kakyoin's like FUCK MAN I MISSED PICKING UP JOTARO, I CAN'T BELIEVE I SLEPT THROUGH ALL THAT! AND WHY WAS STAR LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? AHHHH; jotaro is just. lost in the sauce. star platinum you fucking bastard you should have withdrawn much earlier! that was too close! and camille. camille just hyperfocuses on achieving the perfect blend of coffee and creamer for her second cup while pretending she did NOT just witness whatever that super tender super intimate scene was. just smile and wave camille, smile and wave and nobody will ever know you saw a thing....

they collectively pretend to agree nothing happened when kakyoin gets out of the shower. jotaro, needing something to do with his hands before his body implodes, makes kakyoin some calming drink- something his father no doubt made often during busy tours. their fingers brush when he passes the cup to kakyoin, but you know what? we are NOT going to think about it. kakyoin nurses the cup gingerly, and camille, the saint that she is, bubbles up an entirely new conversation.

and that's basically it! jotaro falls deeper down the rabbit hole, kakyoin becomes Confused, and camille begins taking notes on the Hopeless Case of One (1) Kujo Jotaro lol

[dreammutual-remade]

high school!mark

request: highschool!mark if u love me plspls

 word count: 5.5k

a/n: lucky that I love u anon hehehehe !!!!! also wOW I didnt mean to make this so god damn long itS REALLY JUST THESE GOD DAMN HIGH SCHOOL AUS IM WEAK FOR THEM OKAY. look at this cutie hOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO RESIST

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

warnings: the usual intermittent cussing and probably an inappropriate joke or two

this au is my Ultimate Weakness it makes me soft as hell alright

………………….

LETS DIVE IN

okay so your mom has a job that forces your family to move around….. A LOT

and while you’ve gotten used to it for the most part it still sucks having to leave people behind and make completely new friends once every couple of years

this time you’re moving to a new school for your SENIOR YEAR and you’re livid

bc like ??? it’s senior year and you have exactly zero (0) friends since you’re new,,, yet again

you Threw A Fit when you found out but your mom was like shut up you ingrate soon you’ll be in college and won’t even have to worry about it

so you, an ingrate, shut up :/

you move in a month before school starts and the house is nice and your room is cute so that’s a plus !!!!!

you hang up some pictures and organize all your cute little trinkets you’ve collected over the years aw

you’ve even got a lil succulent garden growing on your windowsill

ITS CUTE AS HELL OKAY

alright so you’re gonna go explore around town because you , don’t know where anything is and you wanna find some good spots to hang

you take the bus into the middle of town because who tf is tryna drive themselves amirite ladies

support ur local bus driver

anywhom this isn’t a HUGE town but it’s one of those cute towns where you can pretty much walk anywhere you need to go

(god i wish that were me)

so you spend all day just, walkin

you find a library and pick up some books …….

both for decoration and reading okay

and you find a couple of restaurants and write them down to try later along with some coffee shops and whatnot

eventually you’re tired and prolly a lil sweaty bc it’s summer and you’re outside and ugh

so you find a nice big park and a tree and sit down at the base of it to read and mindlessly sketch things in the margins of your book

whEN OUT OF NOWHERE

someone shouts

“HEY WATCH OUT”

and you look up just in time to dodge a sOCCER BALL HURTLING TOWARDS YOUR FACE

it bounces off the tree and rolls a couple feet away

“uhhhh holy shit” - you

you just kind of sit there astonished for 5 seconds before you get up to get the ball and look around for who saved your LIFE

and there’s boy jogging toward you looking extremely embarrassed

you meet him halfway to hand him the ball and he’s like

“oh mY GOD i’m so sorry i told them to settle down but they never listen to me and jisung just ??? doesn’t know how to not take everything seriously and he lost and got pissed and kicked it and we didn’t even kNOW you were over here and also i’m so sorry”

you smile and tell him it’s fine and hand him the ball

you go to get back to your tree and he’s like hey uh you there uh wait up

god he’s awkward

and you turn around to face him with an expectant look

“so um, what’s your name? i haven’t seen you around here before and like in case i ever gotta make this up to you you know ??”

cute

you tell him your name and stick out your hand to shake and he grabs it very hesitantly and tells you his name is mark

he has , very warm hands and they’re only slightly bigger than yours but that’s still cUTE

MARK HAS BABY HANDS I DARE U TO SAY HE DOESNT

he says he hopes you enjoy your book and he’ll make sure the boys don’t disturb you anymore than they already have

you wave as he goes and he gives you a smile over his shoulder and his cheeks are tinged pink and wOw this boy is a cutie patootie

you go back to your reading but now instead of doodling you’re just writing his name or drawing his big doe eyes or his smooth hands

(((((let’s pretend we’re all good at drawing okay god knows i can’t do much more than a stick figure)))))

the boys leave after an hour or two and you leave pretty soon after then because the sun is setting and you gotta be home for dinner

basically your mom wants to make sure you aren’t kidnapped and/or lost in a new town

which, to be fair, is not that unlikely

you have your headphones in and you’re leaned against the bus window half asleep as you go

bitch wake up youRE GONNA MISS YOUR STOP

it’s the same bus driver who saw you get on and honestly there aren’t a lot of people on the bus so he makes sure you get off

“hey you, girl back there, hEY! this is your stop girly”

you thank him profusely and tip him because uhhhh u gotta get home and like Not Lost

you skip home with your bag of books and miscellaneous items you found at the thrift store!!!

you bought a little figurine of a dragon and she’s beautiful her name is saraphina because why not

that’s completely irrelevant i’m so sorry

i have ADHD

anywhom

you walk in and you’re all like hey momma !!! how goes it !!:3

and your mom is Sus™️ because why are you in such a good mood

and you’re like !!! cause i had a good day okay love u bye i’m going to my rOOM

don’t let her question anymore or else she’ll dig out that you met a Cute Boy

you go to your room and get out all your purchases and organize them while you still have the motivation to do so

and yeah

you use one of the blank notes to start like a lil drawing diary of sorts ???? like just to draw stuff in whenever you’re inspired or you see something pretty

and you definitely saw smth pretty today ;))))))))

hint: ITS MARK

you try to draw him from memory but it doesn’t look quite right and like :(((((( how sad is that what if you don’t even see him again

the rest of the month passes pretty quickly in the same fashion

by now you’ve befriended the bus driver and he tells you all the cool secret nooks and crannies of town for you to go find

he’s also your bff pretty much he always tells you about his daughter and all the cute things she does and you just talk about your life in general and he gives you advice

congrats you’ve unlocked Wise Uncle

he gives you directions to this teeny TINY flower shop where you befriend the old lady who works there by bringing a muffin everytime you go by

she trades you for a seasonal flower and makes a big deal out of tucking it behind your ear herself

basically you find all the cute old people in town and make them your friend because.

THATS CUTE

ADDED BONUS OF LIKE 17 PARENT FIGURES TO GIVE YOU ADVICE

this is accidentally straying into art hoe territory i hope y’all are okay w/ that

school is starting really soon and you’re nervous but also used to this so it doesn’t affect you as bad as normally

also you did meet some people so you aren’t going in with no friends but like, pretty close to no friends

on the first day of school you ride the bus and you see ???? mark ????? on your bus ????????

so you get on and do your daily greeting of the bus driver

his daughter lost her first tooth AW

you fake cry and he says “mood” and you lose it because you’re pushing internet culture onto this unsuspecting middle aged man skdkdkkd

you pat him on the shoulder as you walk back to find a seat but there are none because for some reason the bus is busy this early in the morning ????

you wouldn’t know lmao summer sleep schedule had you up at 10 at the earliest

so you go to stand and hold onto one of the poles in the center

(nearby our boy mark LEE)

mark looks up from his phone

these god damn millennials always on that damn phone

and he sees you and he’s like wHOA what’s up uhhh Soccer Ball Girl

and nice you remembered his name bUT HE DIDNT REMEMBER YOURS

but then he’s like nahhhh just kidding i remember ur name hey y/n !!!

you talk otw to school and find out you’re both seniors at the same school and how you’re excited for sports games and like, GRADUATING

mark keeps trying to offer you his seat but you refuse and he pouts everytime you say no :((((

good god just take the seat look at the sad baby boy :((((((((((((

there is an, occurrence

at one point the bus goes over a bump and you stumble a little and mark reaches up to catch you before you literally fall on him

his hands fly out and grab you by the hips to steady you since he’s sitting and you’re standing and he can’t exactly reach your shoulders sO YEA

or at least that’s his explanation in his head huehuehuehe

his hands linger for MAYBE 10 seconds before he whips them back into his pockets and blushes while you thank him

you: are also blushing

the bus driver: completely did that on purpose

when you get off the bus your Second Dad tells you good luck and pats you on the head and mark is like ???? do you know him

and you’re like yeah that’s my man maurice we’re buds

and he’s like ???? i’ve rode that bus all my life to school and i’m not buds with him wtf :/

“srry you’re not as lovable as me!! jealousy is a disease <3”

and he laughs his dorky laugh

you highkey are smiling so big because this boy is so cute and he’s walking close enough that your shoulders brush every once in a while and he has a silly laugh and AW

as you walk into the school marks group of Boys starts waving him over excitedly and he turns in their direction but then stops when he sees you aren’t following

“hey whatcha doin???”

“well uhhh those are Your Boys you know and i’m, i don’t, really, uh they don’t know me”

“aw cmon they’ll love you!!! look ill just introduce you and if they’re terrible and annoying you can leave”

“........ i gue-“

but he’s already grabbed your hand and is pulling you over to them

“sup fellas this is y/n and she just moved here this year so don’t be too overwhelming.”

the smaller one with the highish voice chimes in

“aww but overwhelming is my only setting”

“then just don’t be yourself, chenle”

“heYYY it’s that girl i almost killed in the park !!! so sorry about that by the way”

he introduces them to you one by one and they all shake your hand

jisung is the one with the big ass yaoi hands and also the one who almost ended your young life

jaemin is the one with pretty smile

jeno is the one with the squishy eyes

renjun is the Art Hoe of the group you can just tell

he’s wearing some got damn overalls you gotta befriend him immediately

donghyuck is the one with beautiful skin and a v high voice you’re highkey like hey but can you dROP THE SKINCARE ROUTINE and he’s like “i just wash my face every day xoxo :*”

you quickly learn who is a piece of shit and who isn’t

you figure out who has classes with you and then set off for the day !!

mark has gym and economics with you but those are after lunch :(((

he squeezes your shoulder before he leaves and says good luck though so you’ll survive

you have art with renjun first and this boy is your bestie already

he’s such a sarcastic shit and he too likes drawing random things and vandalizing school textbooks with artistically correct memes

he also has the AUDACITY

“so, you and mark already ;););)(;);)))”

“i uh don’t know what you mean by that”

“you SO do!!!!! you guys walked into school together everyone probably already thinks you’re a thing”

“oh shit really??? ah i feel so bad”

“is that a bad thing???”

“i mean yeah i’m not tryna Tarnish mark’s reputation”

“that is some self hatred bs he would be lucky to have you !!!!”

“renjun you don’t even know me that well yet”

“i know enOUGH”

you just uhh change the subject which renjun def notices but like

who cares

renjun apparently also goes to the same flower shop as you !!!

you find out because you see him drawing the front of it and you’re like heY i’ve been there my girl edna works there !!!!! she insist i call her grandma tho

and he’s all oh sHIT that’s my girl too !!!!!!

long story short edna is now your shared grandmother

now THAT is some uwu shit

you go about your day and it’s lunchtime and yOU uh don’t know where to sit :(

you see a girl that you met who works at the little coffee shop you like so you set off in her direction and you’re almost there when jeno and jaemin walk up and sling an arm around your shoulder from either side

“hEY BUDDY” -jeno

“SUP SQUIRT” -jaemin

and they start steering you in another direction towards their own table

“god of all nicknames you had to give me sQUIRT”

“yes it’s because you’re cute and small like squirtle”

“that’s a god damn reach if i’ve ever seen one but okay”

you get there and they practically TOSS you into the seat next to mark

he winces and gives you and apologetic pat on the back before starting the conversation

“alright so who actually did the summer reading”

as the table bursts into Absolute Ruckus you just kind of sit back and watch

mark notices you being quiet and while renjun and chenle are arm wrestling he leans over to quietly be like

“hey you doin okay over there? are they too much”

“oh not at all i’m just takin it in lmao”

“yeah that’s understandable. they’re easily the most entertaining group of people you’ll ever meet but also i’ve wanted to strangle every single one of them at least once”

“what are you 30??? you talk about them like you’re their mom”

“i mean someone’s gotta do it”

you and mark talk all throughout lunch and head to gym together since that’s next

exercising right after eating ??? sounds like a GREAT plan thanks so much public school system !!!!

you go to pull out your bag of gym clothes but ??? all you’ve got is shorts ?????

S H I T

you start whining because you’re like aWW i’m gonna get in trouble :(((((

and he’s like here i have like 12 shirts in here because i always bring too many and then leave some when i got soccer practice i gotchu

(he gives you the clean shirt that hasn’t been sitting in his locker <3333 what a guy)

you thank him proFUSELY and then go to the girls locker room to change

the shirt is too big and you don’t wanna look like a Bag so you tie a lil knot in it in the front

you don’t look like a thot tho you just look Cute As Fuck

some girl in the locker room lets you borrow a hair tie and off we go !!!

it’s the first day so everyone literally just stretches and sits around talking

you’ve hashtag LOST mark and you don’t have any friends yet so you’re just chillin talking to the girl who gave you a hair tie because she seems nice and you got nothin better to do

you’re explaining to her how to take care of a succulent /properly/ when mark catches a basketball that was headed right for you yelling a watch it !!!! over his shoulder

he turns to you and giggles a little, nudging your foot with his

“you’re just a danger magnet aren’t you”

“i mean danger is my middle name so”

“uGH get your ass over here away from all those freshman hoodlums who think they can play”

you wave bye to your friend because there’s literal fear in her eyes at the sight of mark ??

you ask her what’s wrong later and she’s like oh it’s not him i just have a crippling fear of boys

(that’s a mood)

you and mark pass a volleyball back and forth and fuck around pretty much all period

this is actually the one (1) sport he isn’t good at thank GOD you were worried he had no flaws

at the end of the class you ask him if he wants his shirt back and he says, and i quote,

“nah you and your thot knot can keep it, looks cuter on you anyways”

you smack his arm for calling you a thot but then thank him anyways for the shirt and for calling you cute :))))))))

econ passes the same way except normal clothing and no sports

although mark does throw a wadded up piece of paper on you that says u want 2 hang w the boys n me after school ? if yes then breathe if no do a backflip

this headass boy

you throw it back so it bounces off his forehead and then nod to confirm you will

you don’t have any of the boys in your last class and you don’t where to meet up so you just kind of loiter by your locker since jeno’s is pretty close to yours and maybe they’ll meet here ????

luckily jisung spots you and is like hey what r u doin here aren’t u hanging with us after school??? cmon

you follow him out to the parking lot where they’re all gathered around jeno and jaemins vehicles because apparently they’re the only ones with actual cars

rip

they start waving too excitedly when they see you and mark smiles all big

wooOOO baby boy already has a crush on you :3

they’ve apparently already decided to go to chenles house because apparently he’s fuckin loaded

you don’t believe that for a sECOND because he’s wearing crocs and an old ass polo shirt but

we’ll see

you mark and renjun ride with jaemin while the Babies ride with jeno since he is able to ignore them being crackheads in the backseat and drive his vehicle without crashing

apparently they’ve cause multiple vehicular accidents ??? possibly the reason renjun doesn’t have a car ???????

who knows

y’all have a blast in jaemins car tho playing tokyo drift from the third fast and furious movie if u haven’t heard that shit plEASE GO LISTEN WHAT A SONG HEHEHHEHHEHE

you pull into this BIG ASS house and you’re like no fucking way dude

and everyone else in the car simultaneously says

“i know right ???”

y’all pull in and go inside and it’s real nice holy SHIT

chenle comes in cackling followed closely be jisung and more sedately by jeno who looks ready to fckin die

you pat him on the shoulder and go you did well, soldier

he salutes solemnly before breaking out into the smile

y’all know the one

you UWU right there on the spot but hold yourself back from poking his cheek and cooing

chenle then SCREECHES and yells

“WHO IS TRYNA PLAY JUST DANCE”

and everyone crowds into his living room

somehow the couch is big enough to fit all of you comfortably that’s fckin impressive

you play just dance for 3 whole ass hours and now you’re Tired and Ready To Go Home

there’s a bus stop nearby and you insist upon walking since jaemin already have you a ride here and you didn’t even have gas money to give him :(((

mark goes to since you have to catch the same bus

you hum as you skip around the sidewalk and he walks behind you smiling fondly while you twirl around

he recognizes the song and whistles along and wow !!!!

Harmony™️

when you get to the stop you’re like 5 mins early

so to entertain yourselves you play rock paper scissors and each time the winner gets to flick the loser on the forehead

mark is a sweet boy so he flicks softly but you go all out

wouldn’t be surprised if he had a bruise tmrw girly u need to chill

you sit on the bus together when it arrives since there’s actually room now and he slumps down low until his head is pretty much rested on your shoulder

(our man maurice sees and is like GET IT GIRL but only so you notice and you make threatening hand motions at him)

you’re not sure if he’s asleep so you stay extra still just in case

and no one needs to know you rested your cheek on top of his head

but when it gets to your stop you’re like mark? mark lee??? mork ???? wake up ??? and you nudge him a little with your shoulder and he sits up and rubs his eyes aW

he slow blinks at you and goes

“hm?”

and you’re like i uh gotta go now

and he’s like :/// okay i’ll see you tomorrow and stands up and gives you a half hug before you go

maurice is DYING in the front you’re going to kill him

you walk home with a smile on your face and again your mom is suspicious of your good mood but you’re like aw it’s nothin just had a good day at school made lots of friends !!!!!!

as summer turns into fall you make more friends but you mostly hang out with the boys because they’re funny and nice to you and also Mark is there and we love our boy

you guys all attend football games together and go absolutely ALL OUT for whatever the theme is

for example: the theme was halloween and you all dressed as god damn SMURFS

it was legendary there was not one bit of you all that wasn’t covered in blue paint

jisung almost fought some girl who thought he was from the movie Avatar until everyone was like jisung cHILL OUT ITS NOT HER FAULT YOURE VERY TALL AND COMPLETELY BLUE

and well

can’t argue with that

it gets chillier though so you all bring blankets and cuddle most of the games

all of the boys suspiciously aren’t cold at first until you and mark share a blanket

they’re so obvious GOD

with each time y’all share you get more relaxed around each other until eventually mark has one arm slung around you and your legs are hooked over one of his thighs while y’all Snuggle

renjun waggles his eyebrows at you every five minutes and you discreetly give him the finger every time

little ASSHOLE

college applications are due like. right now

you all apply to a nice university close by as a backup/safe place and then apply to more brazy places just to see if you can get in

everyone’s been real stressed lately so you’re like !!!!! hey imma throw a friendsgiving party !!! yeehaw !!!!!!!!!

and you invite all of them over

“everyone bring smth and i’ll bake a ham or smth,,, i swear to GOD if all of you show up with store-bought pumpkin pie. i will kill you and then myself”

“what’s with you and pumpkin pie?”

“jUST. don’t”

((((srry i’m projecting my hatred of pumpkin pie onto u reader heheehehheh))))

everyone comes over and it’s really chilly so you have a fire in the fireplace and you have a couple of your gal pals over too

your mom is nice enough to leave y’all alone for the night and she’s not hurt since it’s not real thanksgiving

we stan moms

you bring out the ham and someone has brought green beans and mark ,,,, tHAT ANGEL he brought cornbread stuffing do y’all know what i’m talking abt

OOO THAT STUFF IS GOOD

and there’s sweet potatoes and apple pie and all the Thanksgiving Essentials

jisung wanted to be a dick so he brought cranberry jelly

“why don’t you have some:) cranberry preserves:) , jisung” -you, every 30 seconds

everyone sits down to eat and it’s LOUD so you’re like shut UP !!!!!!!!!!

“every1 say smth ur thankful for :3333”

“my family !!!!”

“you guys <3”

“awW BOOO” - everyone, while throwing things at jaemin

“my life !!”

“that i’m happy”

“gay” -chenle

“minecraft”

anyways no one took it seriously until it got to mark

“i’m grateful y/n moved here :))))))”

everyone goes KSKDDIDI and you blush and you’re like okay ily mark JSKKD

everyone EATS A LOT and then you go sit in a pile in the living room

you go to make hot chocolate for everyone and when you come back it’s , interesting how there’s only room for you next to mark . hm

you pass out the hot chocolate and everyone reaches Maximum Sleepytime

at this point you’re too tired to give a fuck and you just flop onto the couch next to mark and curl up into his side

he puts his arm around you to pull you close and this mf presses a tiny barely there kiss to your temple

you look up and like talk with your eyes

did u just

i did

oh

yeah

and then you just settle back down

it’s too crowded in here for any Moves to be Made

bUT YALL BEST BELIEVE WHEN ALL THESE YOUNGINS GET OUT UR HOUSE

you’ve got the karate kid on bc ??? who doesn’t love the karate kid and all of your cutie friends are asleep in various places

but once it gets super late you start waking people up and going hey i love you but your mom called mine like 8 times you gotta gO

you make sure everyone is awake fully if they’re driving and to text you when they got home safe

at long last

you’re alone

in your house

with mark

actually where is mark

mark has disappeared ?????

you start looking around for him and find him in your room ???

“you snoopin thru my things ??!?!??”

he jumps and is like uHH but you’re like nah you’re fine idc

so he continues and he was really just lookin at what kind of books you have and the little drawings and paintings and knick knacks everywhere

you just sit on your bed and observe him

let’s be real he’s nice to look at and you’d be perfectly fine doing this for uhhh the rest of your life

he pulls a book off your shelf and starts flipping through it until he pauses at a page

and his face blooms into this big smile and he looks hella giddy

and you’re like uhh hey whatcha lookin at there bud

and he just keep smiling and it’s a little smug now wtf

“when were you reading this?”

“oh uh i don’t know i got it this summer at that cute little bookshop”

“was it, by chance, the day we met?”

“i mean maybe??? why ????”

and he shows you the page and it’s tHAT oNE WHERE YOU WERE DOODLING BITS OF HIM AND WRITING HIS NAME ALL OVER IT

FUCK !!!!!!!

you immediately turn tomato red and snatch the book in to hold it tightly to your chest

“uhhh i do that with uhhhh eVerYONE I MEET”

“aw i thought i was special:((((”

he’s creeping closer to you this whole time until he’s INCHES AWAY

he gently pulls the book out of your hands and places it aside before grabbing your wrists and uncrossing your arms

“personally, i think it’s really cute”

you blush even more this man knows what he’s doing

you mumble a thanks with your eyes trained on his fuzzy socks what a dork

he releases one of your wrists to push your chin up so he can look you in the eyes

“do you really do that with everyone you meet?”

“,,,,,,, no it’s just you”

“alright cool”

and then he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you close til you’re pressed together chest to chest AW

he nudges his nose against yours and you close your eyes because your god daMN HEART IS POUNDING AND YOU CANT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THOSE BIG PUPPY EYES

he presses the sweetest and gentlest of kisses to each cheek and then to the top of your nose

he presses one last lingering kiss on your forehead before he tilts his chin down to press your lips together

it’s so soft and innocent wow i’m going to SHED TEARS WRITING THIS

and he pulls away and you press your face into his neck in embarrassment

he chuckles a lil and rubs your back, leaning his cheek against your head

“hey, you down there”

you say “yeah?” but your voice is muffled by his neck and it’s more like eh ???

“my girlfriend y/n will you be ???”

what the fuck

you pull your head back so you can look at his face which is turning steadily redder

“uh what”

“shIT uh i meant will you uh bemygirlfriend”

your confused expression turns into a shit eating grin and you’re like

“what was that :)))) i didn’t hear you :)))))”

he groans and rests his forehead on your shoulder and pitifully whines out

“please be my girlfriend :(((((“

you pick his face up and hold it between your palms and he pouts playfully

“well how could i say no to that face”

and you smooch him right on those lil pouted lips

“yes i’ll be your girlfriend”

he smiles real big and smooshes you against him aw

wow so now you’re mark lee’s gf

LUCKY BITCH

lowkey you get a few threats but as soon as mark catches wind of that he stands on the statue in front of the school and announces that if anyone has a problem with you they’ve got a problem with him !!!!

and he looks like: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

you drag him down while apologizing to everyone in the general vicinity

mark is. veRY CLINGY NOW

i mean no complaints here it’s just

wow

you’ll be standing at your locker when BAM mark is wrapped around you from behind and you get a hey baby how’s ur day right in your ear

in gym class he restrains himself since the coaches are always like LEE KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF

but he always whines after and is like

:((((( but you look so cute in my shirt i wanna squish you

whenever mark comes over you force him to let you draw him at least once

each time it gets easier since you’ve started to memorize the details of his face and the knuckles of his hands and the shape of his shoulders

a lot of times he just comes over to watch movies and talk

he’s not an eloquent guy

(“you all look like pretty grass :)))” - mark lee)

but he gets what he needs to say out and he enjoys listening to you talk about whatever’s on your mind

you’ve started a glow in the dark star sticker collection to put on your ceiling and each time he comes over you put a constellation up there

so you’ll lay in bed and turn off the lights and just stare at the ceiling and try to name them all

soon you’ll just get sleepy though and press your face into his chest

he uwu’s every time :((((

after he’s done being astonished by his Baby™️ he’ll wrap his arms around you and stroke a hand up and down your spine wow

Real Relaxation Hours

your mom will come home and find y’all asleep and then SHE uwu’s and it’s just one big cute MESS

he loves to kiss you right as he’s leaving like he’ll lay one on you then RUN to the bus stop

p.s. maurice is on y’all every day saying he called it AY

his other favorite kisses are when he catches you off guard and just turns you around and kisses you and you’re like

I’m Confused But I Like This

lots of sweet pecks throughout the day and then longer slower stuff when you’re home and alone and relaxing

leaves hickeys on your neck literally just to be annoying

it’s oKAY THO DONT TELL HIM YOU LIKE IT

months pass and youve said your first “i love you’s” to each other and renjun is always like so when y’all gettin married huh

you both SMACK him simultaneously

but lowkey you would marry mark he’s the best and you love him so wHY NOT

but it’s early and you know that and you’re happy with what you have now :))))))

pls love and support our hardworking baby mark lee he is doing his best and i love him goodnight

[chxrimoya]

ok i guess i’ll finally get around to typing this whole journal post i meant to for the past damn week lmao.

so it’s tuesday night and i’ve ditched class last wed, this past mon and figure drawing today. i just ain’t up for it. for some reason my sleep quality is so poor, even with a full night’s sleep, i can’t stop myself from napping for 3-4 hours. it’s getting in the way of me doing stuff honestly? i get home and want to clean up my room, play some persona, or draw or SOMETHING but sleep is obviously a priority. it sucks but i gotta do it, lacking sleep just makes it so much easier for me to get into a depressive episode. maybe it’s the irregularity of my sleep? for a long time i didn’t sleep past 2am but i slept at like 4am couple of times in the last two weeks or so.  

this past week or two i’ve slowly progressed from one thing bothering me to another and now i can’t even place my discontent. general malaise, as i’ve been telling other people. hopefully writing this helps me find some fkn way to articulate myself? lmao. honestly i don’t know why, talking to other people helps me cope but hasn’t helped me confront the feelings. they’re still there, bothering me, and i would like them to go away? but they won’t anytime soon i’m sure. and i, as usual, am invalidating myself and how i feel so megakek

so i’ll talk to my journal like i’m talking to someone. 

so recently, i introduced my friend, let’s call her Nu, to my regular group of friends who i usually play games with. i invited her to a bbq at J’s house, and it’s all good and stuff, day passes. I tell her before anything, these lot of men aren’t good at all as dating options but i wouldn’t judge her otherwise, because you can’t rly help who you pick. the only two dudes that day available were J and H and both are kinda shitty, but H is way more shitty than J is; J just got his issues to work out. but fast forward, H messages me about wanting to pursue Nu, and was convinced on trying to be a better person, bc one night on discord we were talking about art and things in general, and i just flat out said i don’t think he’s a good person and he has a lot to work on? so after he says to me on FB, hey thanks i needed someone to say that to me and seemed genuine, so my kind ass heart is like ok sure i’ll help you. he asks me genuinely if it’s ok for him to ask me for help so i say yeah, ofc. he realizes hes being selfish pursing this girl because he’s never had a gf, and that J was also interested but he values himself over J. this was mean of me, but i said frankly to H that i agreed, J is in no place to have a relationship because his life is a fucking mess at home; no school, no work, car’s not passing smog and his dad and mom are still shitty as always (his dad can die for all i care). later tho J agreed with me bc i brought it up with him. anyway, couple days later me and H talk and this guy, he’s probably the shittiest offender i know, because he says autistic, retarded, faggot, gook, all in jest and i HATE him for it. i’m not gonna pick a fight because his dumb conservative ass can choke now, for all i care. i have depression and triggers that send me into episodes, so he keeps using “triggered” all casually and it bothers me. it’s disrespectful. so i ask him if he could avoid using it around me, and i see the typing bubbles for like 4 minutes and this guy is typing an essay about how i’m wrong. deletes it, sends “Lol alright” but goes onto his stupid shpiel anyway even though i wanted to drop it. accuses me of “artificially killing the word” even though i just THINK it’s disrespectful, talking to me in a know-it-all fashion because fucking men always do this. so i remember, this entire time, why i didn’t like him, so i decide this bitch is on his fucking own. but me, being the soft-hearted individual i am, didn’t get mad till couple days later and indignant about the whole ordeal. before my anger, Nu and H and me went to eat and shop a little so fucc everything seemed fine and dandy!! and even now i still help this disrespectful child because i care for Nu, even though I don’t know her well enough to be super comfortable with her. I’m naturally an open person, but the comfort i’m talking about comes with time and i just haven’t known her that long. but Nu, she’s had a bad history that ended only recently, and i honestly would kill for her bc she deserves to be happy. not being pushed around by men who vy for her attention? she deserves someone who cares and validates her, but can still set her straight bc she’s a stubborn girl. the men in her life haven’t been good to her, and she hardly had friends before i met her at work? so i want to be someone she can rely on and talk to but i don’t want her withdrawing into the comfort of a man that can’t even comfort and face his own issues without his toxic pride getting in the way. because that what H is to me. 

he calls me saturday before mothers day, 9amish and tells me he accidentally stood Nu up. he obviously feels guilty. but maybe he’s only guilty because he’ll lose his chance with this girl if he fucks up. i’m tired, i comfort him telling him it’s not his fault, because apparently he overslept his alarm and didn’t wake up until Nu called him. Nu also told me that she had been waiting for an hour for him, showed up 30 minutes early to look nice and surprise him, but when she called 30 minutes after the meetup time, she just wanted to go home. she had limited time that day so she wanted to do breakfast at 8. he wants to make it up to her with a gift, but she doesn’t want a gift, so i tell him to draw something for her bc it’s more sentimental. after the call i talk to Nu about it and she seems pretty upset actually, and after everything, she just tells me she feels “jaded” but she’ll get over it.

i don’t approve. i really don’t. i hate this guy but i can’t really be consumed to even be marginally mean to him because Nu is interested, but even she acknowledges maybe she’s been starved of proper affection that she’s just reveling in it. if this guy can’t be bothered to do me a favor, when im trying to be his wingman and get him on good footing with this girl, i’ll fucking light the bridge on fire. but it’s not my choice to make, Nu’s happiness is what matters more. but it exhausts me? i’ve been there, done that with toxic guys and it’s so exhausting. i have issues i still carry and struggle with to this day because i was manipulated and did manipulate other people, for the sake of a guy. and it’s really not worth it. as i talked to her, the friday before, we hung out and spent a whole day with each other... she has a lot of baggage. stuff she doesn’t wanna bring into a relationship. and we shared a lot of similarities with the people we’ve dealt with. i tell her, friends are here to help you carry that baggage. she doesn’t have to carry it on her own. relationships should be always mutually beneficial to both parties. why invest yourself in something you’ll never get shit out of? you end up empty and pining, and anything will satisfy you. it’s not a good cycle to enter. ive been there!! and fuck man, im still recovering. my value is in myself, not in others. and i love to help people because... simply i wish people would have helped me when i needed it. so i help others because they need it. but i wont help people at the expense of myself, at the expense of people i care about. 

but also, i just... dunno if i feel right, being some sort of arbiter for their relationship. i don’t feel like i should have this power to judge, i keep telling myself i don’t know either of them that well so i really shouldn’t be doing the things that i’m doing now? like who am i to get in the way of their happiness, judge that someone isn’t good, and say yes or no to them entering a relationship? for all i know, it could turn out well. i doubt it, because H has never had a gf and i feel his selfishness extends beyond ignoring J, and more of “finally i can get a gf and not be lonely anymore” bc i want someone to value Nu for who she is. 

maybe i’ll write more when i get to to it but this is way too long already lolol

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt. 14

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

i got my harry potter nerd on for this chapter, mostly because i wanted to write and didn't know what to write about

also, i'm glad you all liked the previous chapter <3

dipshit = adrien fergie = alya no = nino dancing queen = mari

enjoy~

16:30

fergie: its 2 quiet in here time for the #discourse

no: no

fergie: shit im blanking i need a topiC @the babs: someone pls

no: i refuse to support this

dipshit: Anything?

fergie: yes

dipshit: Ok give me a second

no: fuck dude i just wanted a day of chill

fergie: babe with friends like us thats just not possible

dancing queen: What are we doing??

dipshit: Hogwarts house discourse Go

no: i cant believe i have to break up with you

fergie renamed this conversation to “hogwarts house discourse”.

dancing queen: Oh no

fergie: alright alright alright adrien = puff mari = puff nino = puff

dipshit: How do you figure

no: uhhh

dancing queen: Sorry al that seems wrong

dancing queen: oh it is it definitely is but ur all sweet enough for hufflepuff and loyal and we all eat too much food hmmm realistic one… adrien = puff mari = snake nino = raven mayb

dipshit: Make Mari Gryffindor and I’ll agree with you

fergie: whaaaaaat our girl is ambitious aF theres no way

dipshit: But she’s also a really strong leader and incredibly brave

dancing queen: If were arguing over anyone Id say adrien should be a gryffindor Oh wait maybe ravneclaw???? Hes super smart Shit this is really hard? He could be in three???

no: the fuck i was thinking slytherin actually

fergie: ???

dancing queen: ???????

no: listen my dudes the hat takes what you want into consideration right? it does it for harry anyway

fergie: what does this have to do with marshmallow being a snake which is just not accurate

no: im getting there

dipshit: Are we going by stereotypes or nah

dancing queen: Nah The stereotypes suck

no: im just saying theres no fucking way if we were wizards teh agrestes wouldnt be pure bloods and gabriel would be classic fucking slytherin

dancing queen: Ok Ill agree with that

fergie: mhmmmm

dipshit: I wouldn’t say that

no: bro even if you arent going off stereotypes your old man is probably the mos t ambitious perosn ive ever met like scary mari is almost as scary

dancing queen: Hey!!!!!!

fergie: so sorting hat

no has changed their name to sorting hat.

sorting hat: sup

fergie: are u saying adrien would ASK 2 b slytherin

sorting hat: well yeah yeah i am 

fergie: …………… i did not consider

sorting hat: i know you didnt

dancing queen: First of all since we cant decide and Im getting mixed answers from online quizzes

dancing queen has changed their name to lion snake.

lion snake: Second of all doesnt the hat also base it off of what you value the most??

dipshit: Lion snake? Like a chimera?

fergie: nerd

dipshit: Actually the chimera also has a goat ignore me

sorting hat: what the fuck

dipshit: Greek mythology

fergie: u kno what i dont wanna kno

dipshit: Anyway back to this

sorting hat: oh yeah anywa yeah the hat does but adrien wanting to please his dad might overrule that idk my dude jk didnt exactly lay ou t the rules of this super great

fergie: jk needs to c h i l l and ye each of the golden trio couldve ended up in at least one other house

dipshit: That would’ve been cool Also I don’t think I try to please my dad that much

fergie: oh sweetheart

sorting hat: dude

lion snake: Adrien you really really do

dipshit: Really?

fergie has changed their name to adriens legal guardian.

adriens legal guardian: someone needs to take care of you

dipshit: I promise I’m fine I’ve got Nathalie

sorting hat: does nathalie give you hugs

dipshit: No? Why is that relevant?

adriens legal guardian: SHE DOESNT COUNT THEN #HUGADRIENAGRESTE2K17

adriens legal guardian has changed their name to i love adrien.

i love adrien: turn on ur location agreste

dipshit: Please know that’s actually kind of creepy I’m at home you don’t have to worry about location

i love adrien: hella

sorting hat: alya chill out with the name chagnes also now im gonna be confuse d

i love adrien: i love him too but truuuuu

dipshit: ????

i love adrien: can i change it

sorting hat: last time for today??

i love adrien: ilysm

i love adrien has changed their name to cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub

dipshit: I have a fanclub? Wait that wasn’t the smartest thing to say

lion snake: Its a good thing youre cute

dipshit: I try to ignore them

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: have u ever been on the official insta of the fanclub bc its hilarious and beautiful

dipshit: …. Alya why

sorting hat: oh we totally googled you

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: mhm

lion snake: ^^^^

dipshit: That’s…..nice of you?

lion snake: Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable omg

dipshit: It’s just? Kinda weird?? I don’t mind and I probably should’ve expected it I just forget sometimes that that’s a thing people can/will do

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: adri if it makes u feel any better i google everyone ive googled everyone in this chat in our class their parents ymself random strangers if im able to

sorting hat: that is not surprising at all

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur not special i mean u r ur v special to me and ilysm but not here everyone gets googled and twitter stalked also tell whoevers running ur official accounts to be less lame idc about salad u eat

dipshit: What????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ur social media is B O R I N G i kno u dont run it but i still expected more memes

dipshit: Honestly I don’t look at it

sorting hat: its like the person we thought you were when we first met you except more boring

lion snake: Ok no thats not true Because I thought he was an asshole

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh shit tru

dipshit: Ahhhh yeah sorry about that

lion snake: Its fine I promise!!! Weve talked about this Its like Super perfect adn model-y and professional andnot  at all a teenage loser who stayed up until 2 watching sailor moon and eating doritos

sorting hat: fucking relatable

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: weebs

sorting hat: yo youre the one who decided to date some

lion snake: Hey Ive never asked Adrien do you have unofficial personal social media???

dipshit: ……………………. Shhhhhh

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: WHAAAAAAAT LINKS LINK S LINKS LINSK

dipshit: I have a tumblr but that’s it

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh my go d this weekend  we get 2gether adn make adrien all the social media and we revamp his tumblr bc ur theme sucks

dipshit: ???? You’ve never even seen it???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i know it does marsh !!!!!!!! can u imagine if lb and cn had social media!!!!! id c r y

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: P l e a s e

lion snake: Oh my og d

dipshit: Please please please please please please please plEASE

lion snake: HOld on!!! Im discussing with tikki

dipshit: Plagg says he doesn’t care what we do

lion snake: Yeah we arent trusting him

dipshit: Fair enough WHAT IF I CAN GET SNAPCHAT ON MY BATON A LITERAL SNAPCHAT

lion snake: No Just because of that No

dipshit: Pleaaaaaseeeeeeeee My lady it’ll be great I swear

lion snake: U gh Well talk on it on patrol tonight k??

dipshit: YES!!!!

19:05 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i know weve moved on but man. fuck snape

 20:12

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: do u think if i track down lb and cn and ask them for their hogwarts houses theyll tell me

sorting hat: worth a shot?

 20:42

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: update: chat says ladybg is a gryffindor and lb says shes iether that or slytherin so like mari and they cant agree on cn

 22:53

sorting hat: damn you adrien i cant stop thinking about this what is mari?? what is adrien??? what am i?? al youre either gryffindor or ravenclaw ive decided

lion snake: Youre the sorting hat shouldnt you know all???

sorting hat: bruh we need the actual sorting hat for this

lion snake: Fair enough

sorting hat: lets say adrien is a hatstall and move on

3:03

PM between dipshit and lion snake

dipshit: Rise and shine bugaboo Akuma at 3 o’clock Literally 3 o’clock the time not the like If you’re using 12, 3, 6, and 9 as directions It’s not You know what My tracker on my baton is turned on so use that to find me

 3:08

dipshit: Mari Mari Alright plan b I’m gonna call  you and if you don’t pick up I’m going to show up on your balcony Which sounds creepy but also this akuma is now stacking cars and I don’t really know what to do? They aren’t even trying to do anything else right now Am I missing something??? I’m confused

 3:12

lion snake has changed their name to ahHHH

ahHHH: IM SO SORRY Tikki woke me up my phone was muted She says Waitw e dont hav etime for this Ive gotta transform so Ill talk to you when I get there??

dipshit: It’s fine just watching an akuma build a tower out of cars Remind me to show you how to sync Skype up to your yoyo

ahHHH: Youre on skype on your baton??

dipshit: Yeah it makes things easier

ahHHH: Huh Al and nino didnt wake up?

dipshit: I think the akumas too far away for them to hear, but also it’s not exactly being distructive When we actually start fighting people might start waking up but for now it’s being pretty quiet even with the car stacking

ahHHH: Well thats good they need their sleep Wait if the akuma was quiet how did you know??

dipshit: People started posting to the Ladyblog forums and I had that open in another tab

ahHHH: ???/ Why were you up????

dipshit: Bad night I couldn’t sleep so I put on Howl’s Moving Castle

ahHHH: Feeling any better?

dipshit: I’m sure I’ll feel better when I see you :3

ahHHH: Oh myg do Itst oo early for this Ill see you in fa few just stop that cat face

dipshit: ;3