#man im still salty about some dumb comics
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spoiler for the azula comic
this broke my heart a little, and to know that Ursa doesn't give a shit about azula is even worse
#azula#atla#azula deserves better#azula in the spirit temple#all my homies hate ursa#even after she came back she barely cared about her#man im still salty about some dumb comics
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can I request a lil something? during the end of the manga or after the timeskip if you haven't read it yet, reiner still has feelings for historia and reader has one-sided feelings for him.
pieck gives reiner a small hint, saying he's wasting time while there's someone close to him that cares for him and points to you. he doesn't understand at first and maybe is conflicted about his feelings for you because of historia. reader is cool about it as she doesn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings.
a rollercoaster of emotions later, maybe there is a happy ending tho? i am curious to see what you can come up with šš i have dreaming of this scenario before bed and i can't help but get jealous of his crush on historia abjdsndks maybe you can help reiner reciprocate reader-chan's feelings or not
thank u so much aly šš„ŗ
reciprocation
pairing:Ā reiner braun x reader
a/n:Ā OMG yesss! honestly, i was kinda annoyed at how reiner still had a crush on historia. i know that isayama wanted to show how everything went back to normal, but i was hoping that reiner would have a bigger role in the allied nations instead of being "dumbed down" to having an obsession with her. MAYBE THATS JUST THE JEALOUSY SPEAKING LMAO š i was hoping this would be longer, although school has been killing me so im really sorry!! i hope its okay šš thank you honey!
ā³ to be added to my taglist, please fill out this ā”formā”
as reiner is handed historiaās letter, you fold your hands on the table and watch him without a word. when he reads the lines and smells the parchment - jean saying something snarky afterward - you say nothing.
you want reiner to be happy: you want to see him at ease like this more, face soft as the leaf of the page flits from his pinched fingers.
and so you let the man speak about historia like sheās a damn goddess, gushing over her handwriting, and keep your goddamn mouth shut. ignore your jealousy. your feelings.
the truth is, youāre in love with reiner.
you canāt even remember how it happened, but you can remember the first time you looked into those hazel eyes, and how you knew that they were going to stick with you for eternity.
youāve come to accept his crush on the queen, though. reciprocation was never an option in your mind.
when jean begins to chew reiner out for lusting after a married woman, and reiner says something about jean being a horse, pieckās gaze lands on you. āyouāre rather quiet,ā she says softly, resting her head on her palm.
you shrug, turning away from her. āiām just tired.ā
pieck catches your chin between her lithe fingers, and turns you to face her with a tiny smile. the young woman is very perceptive, and youāve known her long enough.Ā
thatās when you noticeĀ the twinkle in her eye.Ā sheās planning something.
pieck releases your jaw then, sitting up in her chair. āyouāre wasting your time, reiner,ā she says suddenly. āthereās already someone you know who cares for you.ā
you pretend to not hear pieck - and definitely pretend you donāt see her faintly point at you through your peripheral. the movement of her fingers is barely there, but you catch it.
damn you, pieck.
the way youāre now pinned underneath armin, jean, connie, and reinerās stares makes your stomach tie itself into knots with bubbling reluctance. shit, this is awkward. you want to run away.
still, you peer over to study reinerās reaction. he looks confused at first, the contours of his face unreadable. you swear you see connie facepalm at the manās cluelessness.
then reinerās expression slowly changes: his eyes widen in awe, lips parting slightly, and brows knitting together. he seems genuinely surprised - and conflicted.
conflicted? why?
thereās no time to explain yourself though, because the door creaks open and annie steps in. her words fall on your deaf ears, and when everyone stands up to leave, youāre the first one out of the room. work beckons you as always.
two days pass.
youāve been busy filling out tons of paperwork pertaining to the allied nations, so when youāre finally given a day off, you take it with open arms.Ā
freedom at last.
you lean against a bench outside of headquarters, enjoying the salty breeze that flutters along your skin. itās dusk, the sky covered in a gradient of neon colors as the sun dips below the horizon.
you havenāt seen reiner since that day in the conference room. you wonder how heās doing, what heās thinking, how heās holding up -
āhey.ā
speak of the devil. you glance over your shoulder toward the voice, low and familiar.
reiner approaches you, clad in his uniform: the suit hugs his large frame perfectly, showing every flex of his muscles, and his blonde hair is neatly parted. the black tie looped around his neck just pulls it all together. it has you weak at the knees every. single. time.
āhey,ā you answer, giving reiner a smile as he stops beside you.
and thatās when your heart lurches at the sight of him.
the sunset highlights reinerās profile in gold, a heavenly shine that settles upon his blonde lashes and the flawless slope of his nose. the flecks in his irises sparkle ā a beautiful mixture of soft browns and muted greens. the only thing you can do right now is admire the man.Ā
his words are what breaks you out of your daydream.
āwork has been crazy lately, huh?ā reiner says, focused on the candy-floss clouds and their fluffy shapes.
āwell - yeah, pretty much. i donāt want to look at a pen or a piece of paper ever again.ā
āthat bad?ā
āyou have no idea. i almost regret marley and paradis reconciling.ā
reiner chuckles gently at the joke, but itās strained. his forehead remains creased, and heās not really smiling. the emotion there is more ā¦ doubtful. itās like heās having some sort of inner conflict.
hopefully reinerās not acting cautious because of the other day. you know he doesnāt return your feelings, and thatās totally okay. youāre happy enough being with him like this. āiām not mad or anything, yāknow.ā
reiner stiffens at that. thereās a white flash of teeth when he chews on his lower lip. āi know.ā
āgood,ā you hum, breathing out a sigh of relief. your core twists with envy when you force a grin. bite it back. tease him like always. āso about historia ā¦ ā
reinerās eyes go wide almost comically, and you hear the breath in his lungs leave his firm chest in one exhale. thereās a light blush staining his cheeks now. itās funny; heās so goddamn big, yet heās such a teddy bear.
āy-yeah,ā reiner mutters. you observe the way his brows pinch together as he awkwardly shifts in place. it takes a while before the man composes himself again, which is strange.
is he scared or something? what the hell?
āpieck,ā reiner hesitates for a moment. the golden strands of his hair ruffle in the wind and he appears ... well, lost. āwas she being serious?ā
the question is a shocker - jeez, he could have at least let you prepare yourself. a firm ānoā almost slips out, but youāve never been much of a liar. not to reiner, anyway. crossing your arms against your chest, you inhale sharply and nod. avoid staring at him face-to-face. āyep.ā
ā ā¦ why me?ā
reiner says the words with a mixture of spite and anguish, a casual and rumbling voice. you immediately turn your head, frowning. āwhat?ā
āiāve done so many horrible things.ā reiner exhales heavily and stares down at his hands; perhaps heās imagining all the blood theyāve been stained with. āi betrayed everyone. i killed innocent people - all because i was selfish.ā
itās no surprise that reiner is broken after everything heās been through, but it pains you to know that he continues to suffer in silence. whatever war is raging inside his ribcage tears him apart piece by piece, and you wish you could carry the burden.Ā
thereās probably nothing you can say to convince reiner that he was just a kid, a victim of circumstance. thereās nothing that can persuade him to see himself the way you do.
so you decide to tell reiner why you love him.Ā
you explain the amount of admiration you hold for him. tell him that you love the way he just wants to be someone his comrades can lean on, like a big brother. tell him that you think heās the most gorgeous person youāve ever seen and how you think he deserves the world.
the way you spill your guts out snaps every nerve in your body. you donāt say everything you want to ā but you tell him enough. a dark flush spreading across your face, you find the courage to look at him.
the world seems to stop on its axis when you find reiner staring right on back. the intensity of his eyes is stunning; theyāre lit up with astonishment and affection.
god, the affection. you see it clear as day. maybe one of the greatest regrets in his life is how he forced himself to see you only as a friend.
thatās when he reaches out to you.
reiner retracts his hand twice, unsure, before slowly brushing his fingertips against yours. the touch is so feather-light that you almost canāt feel it. itās a test - heās waiting to see if you pull away. you canāt even move if you wanted to, because his fond gaze keeps you rooted to the spot before him.Ā
when you donāt recoil, reiner finally moves to gently hold your hand; his palm is so much bigger than yours, and your fingers slot together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzleās final piece.Ā
heart thrumming like a hummingbird has been stuffed into your chest, youāre almost at a loss for words and come to a realization.
this utterly amazing man likes you. always has.Ā
but reiner shoved away the feelings for one simple reason; you deserved ābetter.āĀ focusing on the old crush he had on historia was a distraction - an attempt to convince himself to stop thinking about you.
because looking at you everyday and not being able to act upon his feelings was too painful.
āis this okay?ā reiner asks lowly. thereās a slight pinkness to his cheeks, the color of a selfless love.
by some miracle, you manage to nod dumbly. āyeah, of course. itās fine.ā itās amazing is what you actually want to say. Ā
reiner squeezes your hand at the reassurance, a sigh escaping from his throat. āi reallyāā
you wait for him to finish, but he doesnāt. reiner just searches your profile for signs of discomfort, and then untwines your hands to bravely swipe a thumb along the length of your cheekbone.Ā
thereās no time to speak because heās already leaning down. Ā
the sensation of reinerās lips pressing against yours lights your skin ablaze; you can feel the curling flames of passion sear your soul, made even more intense by the warmth of the sunlight on your back.
itās natural, itās tender, itās warm.
reinerās breath rattles into your mouth when you rest both palms against his solid chest and deepen the kiss. the musky smell of his aftershave and cologne envelops you completely, and fuck, itās so good. your arms wrap around him, fingers passing over the sharp slopes of his shoulder blades.
as much as you wish the kiss could go on endlessly, there are people gathering outside. avoiding any unwanted attention from nosy strangers is very much appreciated.
you pull away to nuzzle your nose into reiner, and he rests his chin on your shoulder, protective arms moving to loop around your waist. itās such an intimate caress that it sparks your brain into overdrive.
as the rushing sound of the breeze comes back to your ears through the quiet, you tuck the kiss away to be remembered forever. thatās all there is to it. being close to reiner like this - swaying together like wildflowers in the wind - is more important than anything else.
āi like you,ā reiner murmurs.
the suddenness of it makes you laugh, and you can feel the upward quirk of reinerās lips - a whisper of a peaceful smile and a sweet, sweet promise.
#timeskip reiner still sexy asf#I just wanna hug and kiss him ugh#reiner braun x reader#reiner x reader#aot x reader#attack on titan fanfiction#snk x reader#reiner braun#reiner x you#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin
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parings: Ushijima x reader , Iwaizumi x reader and Sakusa x readerĀ
warnings: NSFW (under the black lines) daddy kink w hajime, Timeskip Haikyuu. language? jealousy? fannon sakusa? anal w sakusa. bad grammar :)
a/n: as a compressed woman myself, i donāt think there is enough compressed content out there, or maybe i havenāt found any.Ā
Ushijima Wakatoshi
this man LOVES you, you cannot put it into words
letās start with being in publicĀ
he isnāt touchy feely with you in public, never. he think it looks bad and doesāt wanna make you uncomfy
does hold your hand... kind of. You def. have smaller hands than he does so you grab his pinky most of the time, he thinks its really damn cute.
leaned down to kiss your forehead.
if youāre ever out to go eat at like a stand or sum, he sits down and heās basically looking at you or at your chest depending on the chair.
ONLY PDA THING HE WILL DO ONCE IN A WHILE IS LEAN HIS HEAD ON YOUR CHEST AND PUT HIS HANDS ON YOUR BUTT IF HES FEELING ADVENTUROUS.
i know id love this- HIM LOOKING UP AT YOU AND ASKING FOR PERMISSION TO LIKE CARESS YOUR LOVE HANDLES OR HIPS BC UR SO THICC AND HE FUCKING LOVES EVERY SINGLE INCH *sigh* im touch starved
When it comes to being at home, heās legit the most handsiest airhead in the freaking world
He could be laying on the couch, he makes you sit on his lap and your likeĀ āmmm, noā but he reminds you that heās legit full nelsoned your ass while standing in front of a mirror and you likeĀ ā..... y-you donāt need to remind me!!!ā so you sit on his lap
yāall start talking and heās like really distracted with you chest, doesnāt matter the size he just want his hand on your boobs.
very touchy man in private, this man was touch starved until you came in and now he can get enough.
āToshi? What are you doing?ā
Hes caressing your boobies and he just smiles like the big dumb idiot he is and whispers something about being in love with your chest and he sits up a lil and just shoves his face in ur tits, like not even in a sexual way.
letās also add a lil nsfw in this fluff
when you guys first did the deed you hesitated in taking of your clothes, you did not want him to see you naked, not yet at least. he didnāt mind at, but he made you wear his shirt.
you kissed him and changed in the bathroom and when you came out wearing his shirt like a dress, he got embarrassingly hardĀ
that day he realized that his favorite position w you (only when you wear his shirts) is doggy style bc heād ruin all his shirts and ball up the hem of it to pull you so deep into his cock and holy shit heās never felt so much euphoria
heās got you screaming his name, drooling over the bed sheets, covering his cock with your orgasm. god he loves the sight of your body giving out due to multiple orgasms.
also loves eating you out, wow
heās told you that heād be happy if he suffocated in-between your thighs
you had to let out a giggle but like it turned into a moan
cocky bastard
loves leaving marks on you, thereās so much skin to cover, and he wants to do it all.
Iwaizumi Hajime
I 100% believe that this boys mother is compressed as well and you cannot tell me otherwise
loves public pda especially at night
has to be touching you in some way shape or form
either holds your hand, your waist or your ass, just depends how youāre feeling and how heās feeling
kisses your hand or the crown on your head
say if your ever standing in line and your in front of him, he will lean his head down and put his chin on top of your head
slaps your ass when he think no one is looking BUT SOMEONE IS ALWAYS LOOKING and he just makes you really embarrassed
i think heās definitely an ass guy so he pinches your butt a lot
when he went to Irvine in Cali, he just had to take you with him, he couldnāt just leave his baby all alone without him.
you guys had a free day so yāall went to laguna beach, lucky it wasnāt as packed as it usually was or so you heard
at this point iwaizumi has given you enough confidence to wear a two piece, (obviously high waisted)Ā Ā
half the time at the beach you felt like he wanted to bark at the guys who stared at your ass while you sun bathed.
heād bother you a lot for kisses and low key make out sessions
and let me tell you when he pulled away from the kiss and saw how plum and fucking red your lips where, he was hard, heās never wanted you to wrap you mouth around his cock so bad
he calmed down for a bit, went into the water and cooled down, while you still laid on you belly enjoying the sun
at some point he was the one sunbathing and you where in the water
and now he believes that he picked the wrong pair of short to wear bc he got hard while watching you walk back to your spot, water just dripping down every curve and in every crook of your body
āWeāre going back to the hotel now.ā
you donāt complain, itās not like you didnāt fucking notice how hard his cock was, it made your mouth drool
god getting to the hotel, he wasted no time at all what so ever.
kissed you all around, you skin tasted salty and fresh on his tongue
you broke the kiss to tell him that you guys should probably get into the shower or sand will be everywhere.Ā
SHOWER SEX
Hajime has a love/hate relationship with shower sex but today he didnāt care, he just pounded into your pussy like it was the last time heād ever feel you
He loves pulling your body, you back close this his chest while heās ramming into you, whispering the naughtiest things in your ears.
it eitherĀ āyouāre so tight, fuck, youāre twitching. Does it feel that good, hm? Youāre pussy wrapped around my cock, taking me in so well. You love this donāt you, filthy little thing you are.ā
he also likes teasing you, god he loves just holding your hips just to fuck you so slowly, edging you.Ā āAre you gonna be a good girl and cum on my cock? Youāre gonna be daddyās good girl and cum all over my cock, right?āĀ
heās such an asshole, i need to stop writing bc i legit wont stop. i love hajime so much omfg
Sakusa Kiyoomi
Oh boy Sakusa is def hard to write about, but i love him so ill do it
I think is he dated a compressed reader, heād def tease them about their height, never their weight
Although heās always been iffy about touching, thereās just something about you
he always has to be touching you somehow
his teammates at MSBY are really surprised to figure out that he has an S/O and that he lives and breathes the same air as their Oomi
They are really surprised when you come one day after practice and he doesnāt immediately go to the showers, go goes straight to kiss you just to say a quick hello and then he rushes into the shower.Ā
Atsumuās like,Ā āhow you do dat?ā you shrug it off bc you have no idea either bc ever since youāve started dating he gets a lot more comfortable with you
his teammates love you by the way especially bokuto and hinata (ima say u used to be karasunos co manager w yachi)
thicc boys and girls hang together
anytime bokuto tries hugging you, youāre ready to accept him with open arms but Oomi is just like NO. BIG NO
Pouty boy sakusa doesnāt want bo accidentally feeling you up bc thats his job
Obviously atsumu is the comic meme where itās likeĀ āare you sakusaās new girlfriend! Dude! He told me you were hot but i didnāt believe him, bc like have you seen him? out of his league. Like, btw, fuck him, dude. Lets elope- I AINāT DOIN NOTHIN!āĀ atsumu thinks youāre hot always flirts w/ you bc he low key has a thing for thicc girls (probably gonna write something about that bc i know for a fact people believe that heād call a big girl āpigā but i think heād be the type of asshole to hide the fact that heās dating you bc heās called people pigs and what not but during his time at MSBY bokuto def. rubbed of on him.
atsumu high key doesnāt remember you but YOU DEF REMEMBER HIM
you bumped into him while refilling waters and heās likeĀ āwatch it pigā
sakusa heard what you said and atsumus likeĀ āoh shit....ā
you canāt tell me sakusa did not grad his usual cute scarf and try to suffocate him with it bc he insulted his s/o before he was their s/o
āwe barely knew each other then stop trying to kill him Oomi!ā
high key sakusa saw you that day and was like wow.
you can out of the bathroom with ur cute hand towel and hand sanitizer, you were low key sick but didnāt wanna put anyone at risk so u had a mask on too
you caught his looking and you just waved, you donāt really remember that day but he def does bc he fell i love with u then and there
his cousin had to drag him away from following you down the hall and ask what was you cleaning regimen bc he knew id freak u out a lil but it really wouldnāt have.
sukusa is only public handsy if heās tipsy or when heās at home w you and the three boys (atsumu, bokuto and hinata) he says he hates them but he doesnāt and you know that bc he wouldnāt let them into their house if he did
they WILL NOT LEAVE IF THE MISS THE TRAIN OR ARE TOO DRUNK TO WALK YOU FORCE OOMI TO LET THEM SLEEP OVER
Youāre like covering them with blankets any everything and lightly waking them up to put a pillow under their head, hinata low key starts crying bc he says youāre so sweet and that oomi should be feel so lucky that heās got someone like you
okay hinata almost makes you cry but u like just boop his nose and giggle it offĀ
while youāre covering up atsumu, he starts flirting with you and u just laugh but tell me why sakusa will come behind you and just wrap his arms around you, puts his chin on your shoulder and glares at him
basically sayingĀ āleave my woman alone.āĀ
atsumu is high key (even if sakusa doesnt realize but you do) enticing sakusa so you can get a good fuck tonight bc he feels a lil bad for intruding.
TELL ME WHY IT WORKS THO
Sakusa will like drag you to bed, tease you. tie your hand behind your back so you canāt touch him and all you can do is watch him strip for you
god his body is sculpted by Himeros himself because his body is so damn sexyĀ
after hes down to his boxers he covers your eyes with a cloth and he gives you a good face fucking,
you cannot tell me that he doesnāt get so fucking hard after taking off the cloth and seeing how red a watery your eyes are
also this motherfucker is so dirty in bed iām sorry (cannon him will not touch u tho like mmm sakusa cannon is a pillow prince, its still hot, def will write about it soon)
he would lick up you salty tears, and kiss your plump lips after he made you swallow his cum
he fucks you in front of the mirror that day but not on the bed
he makes you lean into your vanity so you can see up close how much of a drooling and crying mess me make you
youāre gipping onto the vanity and youāre on your fucking tippy toes, youāre twitching and so close to breaking the fucking vanity bc this isnāt your first orgasm, its probably the third or fourth
heās covering your mouth with one hand and the other on your hip for grip as he pounds you
he might stick a finger or two in your mouthĀ
OH GOD I JUST THOUGHT- I JUST THOUGHT OF HIM LIKE spreading your ass too see how much youāve cummed on his cock and he getās the sudden urge to put this thumb in you ass, so he just runs his thumb around and it surprises you but he sees how you just tightened around his cock
he gives you a cocky look and just leans into your ear AND WHISPERS SO MANY DIRTY FUCKING THINGS WHILE NIBBLING AND LICKING YOUR EAR
āYouāre such a dirty whore baby, I havenāt even put it in and you just tightened around me so good. I think- god you feel so tight... I think you might just cum from slipping my thumb into that cute ass of yoursā
FILTHY , SAKUSA IS A FILTHY WHORE AND ITS FUCKING HOT
a/n: i wrote too much for sakusa when i was like wtf am i gonna write AND I ENDED UP WRITING THE MOST FOR HIM JFSIBFBSDFSKFHS IM NOT SURPRISED do i smell favoritism? yes. iām not ashamed.Ā
#haikyuu sakusa#kiyoomi sakusa#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#sakusa headcanons#hq sakusa#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#daily haiku#haikyuu manga#haikyuu spoilers#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu hq#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n#Iwaizumi#Iwaizumi Hajime#iwaizumi fanfic#iwaizumi imagine#iwaizumi fluff#iwazumi#iwaizumi drabble#iwaizumi scenarios#iwaizumi hcs#iwaizumi x you#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi x y/n#haikyuu iwaizumi
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*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier
also x1000 longer than previous post
"ur satan is gnc af"
"Bestie Iām already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"
"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"ohoho sexy"
"I am very proud of myself"
"himbo x edgy fuck"
"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"
"he has teefs"
"SQUASH"
"good for biting š·"
"he's a himbo basically"
"BĶĢĢiĶ«ĢĢtĶ§ĶĶÆeĢĢĢ"
"bifth"
"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"
"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"
"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"
"crimes"
"tumblr sexyman"
"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"
"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"
"steampunk e-girl"
"steampunk tumblr sexyman"
"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"
"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"
"ARTIST SIGHTED"
"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"
"babby..... would die for him"
"honestly i probably kin him"
"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"
"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"
"Also :00 blonde friend"
"Let us all infodhmo"
"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"
"Nix woukd you like to joon?
"skitters away"
"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"
"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"
"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"
"Awkwardly watches in band kid"
"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"
"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"
"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"
"anyway heres my boi"
"emo"
"haha emo"
"virgil sanders kinnie"
"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"
"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"
"bird man my beloved"
"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"
"Birds!!"
"guiguhuh"
"crabrave"
"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"
"yess name collector gang"
"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"
"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"
"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"
"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"
"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"
"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"
"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"
"mmmmmm magic man :]"
"Ā°0Ā° green man"
"criminal (affectionate)"
"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"
"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"
"i would commit so many crimes for him"
"Very babey"
"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"
"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"
"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)
"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"
"* or extremly chaotic either works"
"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"
"oH--"
"bc my brain has a schedule"
"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"
"hehe yes spooky man"
"my ghost glucose guardian"
"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"
"ghosts r just inherently sexy"
"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"
"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"
"Å Ć¢ m p"
"ÅƦmp"
"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"
"I'd date a ghost"
"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"
"p e e p e e"
""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"
"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"
"you're all 12 year olds"
"PEENIE"
"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"
"god, what a himbo. i love him"
"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"
"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"
"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"
"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""
"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"
"twink appreciation club"
"give us the twinks"
"my first thought was bottom-"
"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"
"daddy issued"
"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"
"Big boy but"
"anyways janus is swagggg"
"........................."
"gib twink"
"give twink then i will share"
"holds him gentle like hamburger"
"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"
"he is. fragile creachur"
"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"
"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"
"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"
"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"
"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"
"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"
"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."
"note i am a lesbian"
"You may like Schezo wegey"
"why does he have one single expression"
"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"
"magic wand"
"I Want To Hold His Hand"
"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"
"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""
"p e a n u t"
"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"
"grug from the croods is peak male performance"
"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."
"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"
"i like essays"
"central time gang"
"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)
"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"
"points were made"
"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"
"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"
"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"
"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"
"several people are typing"
"do these look edible to you"
"forbidden gummies"
"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"
"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"
"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"
"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"
"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"
"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"
"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."
"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."
"NIIICE"
"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"
"watch your fucking language in front of the president"
"im so sorry lumi"
"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"
"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"
"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"
""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""
"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"
"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."
"me on discord: nick wilde"
"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."
"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"
"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"
"what the fuck"
"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"
"If you adopt me then yes"
"am I qualified for dad jokes???"
"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"
"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""
"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"
"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"
"cat pet"
"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"
"maybe thats me being a coward tho"
"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"
if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content
#tw drugs#tw swearing#tw cannibalism#tw crime#tw food#tw homophobia#shitpost#out of context#out of context quotes#lumi's quotes
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Poptropica Villains, ranked
ok, before yall start shit, this is a joke. no discourse. this scale has no validity. disagree or agree, whatever, just dont attack me pls i am a sensitive being lmao
Black Widow: Sis is serving LOOKS. Honestly?? big dick energy... but sheās also a big gay so we stan 15/10
Dr. Hare: twink in a pink rabbit fursuit, how on earth did he get to be the most popular villain and appear on ALL OF THE MARKETING???? Still an icon tho 8/10
Binary Bard: Astro Knights was super hard but so ICONIC UGH super interesting concept love this cyborg space clown 11/10
Captain Crawfish: lmao whomst??? tbh i was so busy trading shit for coins on his island that i forgot he existed for a hot sec. whoops. 2/10
Gretchen Grimlock: honestly sheās got a style going for her im so proud of my cryptid hunting wife 9/10
Mademoiselle Moreau: femme lesbian and u canāt tell me otherwise. lowkey a sociopath... tried to stab you with scissors but thats just tea.. still love her tho and Mystery Train is iconic 8/10
Ringmaster Raven: EdgyTM with tragic backstory but that doesnāt stop me from loving this sweet sweet bird man 10/10
Super Power Island Villains (theres 6 of them and i dont feel like ranking them all): honestly?? squad goals. they were all p easy to beat but still love em 8/10 collectively
Myron Van Buren: gross. wrinkly old man. who does he think he is with his Jumanji lookin ass. still managed to scare me tho bc my dumb ass didnāt see the plot twist coming oh well 6/10
Zeus: finally,,, this dick is portrayed as the villain he is... honestly so proud. loved Mythology Island and Super Villain Island cause they were so iconicTm 9/10
El Mustachio: donāt kill me but i never really liked him all that much idk why??? like crawfish never saw much of him. classic cowboy tho 6/10
Director D: baaaaallld. his plot twist had me shooketh as a child and spy island was LIT 9/10
Octavian: lol who?? Never read the comics, only played Mystery of the map but hes probably more complex in the comics. lol sorry i guess this is based on my knowledge 4/10
Omegon: kinda cool i guess? idk i like Poptropicon tho 7/10
the villains from Mocktropica: ok,,, i love mocktropica?? i thought it was so funny bc it literally hit my sense of humor so well?? and these villains?? lmao 9/10
Mr. Silva: Shrink Ray island was so iconic but mr silva was a total asshole. like dude CJs like 12 leave her alone. petty ass. 1/10
Count Bram: yeah his story was kinda sad but my dude needs some glasses or smth, kidnapping some random village girl smh bram get it together 5/10
Booted Bandit: ok... i really liked escape from pelican rock, but how dare this booted bandit bitch steal MY look?? Also, why canāt they tell the bandit and the player apart?? The bandit has boots???? 7/10
Red Baroness: Love my wife,,, like i know she was part of the tutorial but still, i like her 7/10
Daphne Dreadnaught: I MISSED HER EVENT AND I AM SALTY but from what ive seen of her she looks pretty cool and i get some butch vibes from her which i love 9/10
Holmes: hhhhhhnnnn game show island was so good and i loved the whole robots taking over thing idk why... holmes was pretty cool 8/10
Magistrate Henry Flatbottom from Ghost Story: Listen,,, buddy,,, ya gotta move on... petty man, probably complained about being in theĀ āFriend Zoneā 2/10
ok thats it sorry if i missed some and sorry this post is long af byyye
#poptropica#poptropicavillains#why did i make this dumbass post#dont take this too seriously this is a joke post#like pls dont come after me im not trying to hurt anyone#like u can disagree im just trying to be funny lol
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I'm the edge of criying and it's absolutely not funny, I'm serious. As a person who doesn't cry over fictional stuff much, this made me so sad.
spoiler for the azula comic
this broke my heart a little, and to know that Ursa doesn't give a shit about azula is even worse
#azula#atla#azula deserves better#azula in the spirit temple#all my homies hate ursa#even after she came back she barely cared about her#man im still salty about some dumb comics
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