#man i love the beach corona is killing me smalls

[81scorp]

My thoughts on Tangled

(Originally posted as an editorial on Deviantart Nov 17, 2015.)

In my "More thoughts on Frozen" editorial I wrote: "I like Frozen. Though not as much as I like Tangled."So let`s talk about Tangled.

And at last I see the SPOILERS

I didn`t have high expectations about this movie. Based on what I saw from the trailer it seemed to be not much more than a silly romp with lots of slapstick, kinda like The Emperor`s new groove. I wasn`t really interested in watching it until I saw a trailer with the scene where Flynn and Rapunzel sits in a boat and release lanterns into the sky. I thought to myself: "I think I`ll give it a watch."

Then there`s the name. It was originally gonna be called Rapunzel, but the big suits at Disney changed it. It has been theorized that they did it because The Princess and the Frog, while not unsuccessful at the box office, was not as successful as they had hoped, and they were afraid that boys wouldn`t see a movie with the word "Princess" or anything feminine in the title. I think it was a very insecure move from Disney, it`s like changing "The Little Mermaid" to "Beached". If they had kept the name "Rapunzel" and marketed it the way they did, with the trailers focusing on The Emperor`s new groove-like slapstick while playing Pink`s "Trouble", I and (I`d like to think that others, as well) would still have gone to see it. You might want to argue and say that the name change was justified because they changed the story from the original fairytale. They changed the story of The Little Mermaid and The Hunchback of Notredam too but still kept the name of the original.But what`s in a name? Surely, an animated Disney movie about a girl with insanely long hair and the thief that act as her guide by any other name would still be as sweet. Insecure name changing aside, the rest of the movie could still be good.

My Brother and I went to see it in the cinema...IN 3D!!!

A few minutes into the movie we got something I wasn`t prepared for: A musical number... in an animated Disney movie. At first my reaction was "What?" But a part of me said "Yeah, and? What`s so odd about a musical number in an animated Disney movie? You walked into The Princess and the Frog fully aware that there was gonna be singing and liked it. You`re just a little surprised because you never saw any clips or trailers that indicated that it was gonna be a musical. Now shut up and enjoy this Disney musical damnit!"

But putting that aside, "When will my life begin" is not a great song to open with. It is VERY upbeat, modern and pop-ish, which, considering the 18th century world it takes place in, makes it feel very anachronistic.I liked it a little more after repeated viewings though, so it`s a bit of an aquired taste.A part of it that I did like (without repeated viewings) was the last part that begins with "Tomorrow night the lights will appear, just like they do on my birthday each year". This part of the song felt like Rapunzel`s more vulnerable side, like her true face under the mask of cheerfulness that we heard in the first parts. The chores and hobbies that she sings about (like puzzles and darts and baking) are what she does to kill time and the boredom of isolation. In hindsight, the title alone: "When will my life begin" pretty much verifies that.It`s not a bad song by itself, just maybe not the best song to open this movie with.You might wonder "Isn`t `Healing incantation` technically the first song of the movie and why did it take you till `When will my life begin`to realize it was a musical?"

Well, "Healing incantation" was the first song, yes. But unlike "When will my life begin" it`s diegetic, they could still sing it even if this movie wasn`t a musical. Diegetic music comes from a person or object in the scene (like a radio or musical performer), while non-diegetic music is external to the narrative. In Rocky II when Rocky runs down the streets of Philadelphia and the song "Gonna fly now" is playing, we can hear the music but Rocky can`t, it`s non-diegetic.

"Mother knows best" sounded better though, it felt more fitted for a musical. I like that she both figuratively and literally tries to keep Rapunzel in the dark in the musical number. James Berardinelli from ReelViews commented on his website that "the songs were neither catchy nor memorable". I don`t completely agree with him. Sure, a few hours after I left the cinema I didn´t remember most of the songs, but I did remember the chorus to "Mother knows best". Many like to compare Mother Gothel to Cher and I can`t say that I don`t see why. But to me she reminds me more of Edina from Absolutely Fabulous. Both call their daughter "darling", are selfish and one of the worst days in Edina`s life... was the day she turned 30! Another popular comparison is the one between her and Claude Frollo from the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Both keep a ward locked up in a tall building and tell them that the world is a horrible place. In a way Claude Frollo is the worse villain because he has more authority, he has power over the guards and by that, some level of control over the city. While similar, there are some small differences in their, for lack of a better word, "parenting skills". Frollo`s are more about being stern and controlling Quasimodo with a respect based on fear, while Mother Gothel is more about emotional manipulation and sending mixed messages. She gives Rapunzel subtle insults one minute only to add a little "just kidding, you know I love you" the next. On a large scale Frollo is the worst, while on a smaller, personal level Mother Gothel is the worst. There is a little bit of tenderness in her cruelty. One thing that bugs me is the glorification and romanticism of the age of 16. Appearently that`s the best age to be, that`s when everything great and magical happens. I thought to myself when watching Tangled: "Please don`t make her 16. Make her some other age or just don`t mention it." Rapunzel`s age was 17 and the next day she was gonna turn 18. I thought "Thank you Disney! Thank you for avoiding this clichè and overrated age". In a way it turns it into a metaphor for growing up, becoming independent and leaving the nest. Yes, she is technically still underaged at first, but it is she that is in charge and Flynn doesn`t try anything romantic on her until after she turns 18. But most important of all: she`s not 16.

I liked the reprise of "When will my life begin" better than the first version because, like "Mother knows best" the music and instruments in it felt more fitting for a musical. That moment before she puts her foot on her grass you could see in her eyes that it may have been a small step for man, but it was a giant leap for Rapunzel.

Which was then followed by the emotional rollercoaster known as "The bi-polar scene". In her book "Making a good script great" Linda Seger wrote that conflict is the basis of drama, and this movie has a lot of conflict without feeling overcrowded. There`s Flynn VS the guards of Corona and Flynn VS the Stabbington brothers, both over which one gets the crown. There`s Rapunzel VS Mother Gothel, Rapunzel wants to leave her tower to see the rest of the world, or at least the floating lanterns, while Gothel wants to keep her in the tower.There`s also conflict that adds comedy. There`s Flynn VS Maximus, which is an extension of Flynn VS the guards, but funnier. Flynn VS Rapunzel, Rapunzel needs Flynn as her bodyguard/guide through the dangerous outside world, so she hides his satchel and uses it as leverage. Flynn just wants the crown so he can sell it and get stinking rich, so he tries to manipulate and scare Rapunzel into giving up her journey to see the lanterns. Then there`s Rapunzel VS herself. While happy that she is seeing the world she also feels guilty over disobeying her mother, which leads to the inner conflict seen in the previously mentioned "bi-polar scene".

Maximus the horse, who I mentioned earlier is a great character and a great source of comedy. He`s like Officer Zenigata from Lupin III. Pascal adds a little comedy too but doesn`t contribute as much to the story as Maximus. My guess is that he was created for the same reason that Robin was created for Batman. The creators thought that it would be better if Batman had someone to talk and explain things to so he wouldn`t seem like a complete nutjob that talks to himself. I don`t have much to say about "I`ve got a dream", it`s a fun, likeable song one would usually expect the comical side-characters to sing. Is it just me or doesn`t the chorus borrow a little from "She`ll be coming round the mountain"?

"She'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes"

"Though I do like breaking femurs, you can count me with the dreamers. Like everybody else, I've got a dream."

(Sure, the melody isn`t identical but the structure is somewhat similar.)

Flynn refusing to sing (at first) is not exactly new for a Disney musical, it had already been done in Enchanted. However this was (to my knowledge) the first time it was done in the Disney animated canon and it was done much funnier.

The scene where Rapunzel and Flynn...

Flynn: Eugene.

What?

Flynn: Eugene Fitzherbert.

OK. where Rapunzel and...Eugene

are trapped in a cave that`s filling up with water is similar to the trash-compactor scene in Star wars: It`s the dark moment, the part of the movie where it seems like there is no way out and all hope is lost. I like this scene, not just because of the suspense but also because it is where they open up to and start getting to know each other. But because this not just a big-budget movie but a Disney movie, and no director wants to depress the audience (unless you`re Lars von Trier), we know that they`re gonna make it, we just don`t know how. In the campfire scene we get more time for character development. We already know Rapunzel`s backstory but this is the first time that Fly-... Eugene gets to hear it. We (and Rapunzel) also find out that Eugene was an orphan who took his name from a fictional character who was everything he wanted to be. Rapunzel`s inner conflict shows up here too, but this time with a downplayed, more serious tone and not comically exaggerated.

Eugene: And you`re still gonna go back?

Rapunzel: No! Yes. (covers her face) It`s complicated. I`m probably alone in this but to me Eugene`s name change feels like a reflection of the movie`s name change. Eugene changed his name to Flynn Rider because he thought it would sound cooler, like how the big suits at Disney changed the movie`s name from Rapunzel because they thought it would sound cooler.

Rapunzel: For the record, I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Rider. Not much to say about the reprise of Mother knows best except that we get to see the more Frollo-ish side of Gothel. Since the tenderness doesn`t work she now tries to make Rapunzel respect her through fear. I love the Kingdom dance scene. It`s like that scene from The Little Mermaid when Ariel visits the town with Eric and for the first time gets to experience the world of humans. It`s a great example of visual storytelling, no dialogue is used or needed. Just like Ariel, Rapunzel gets to geek out and and explore this new world, try new things, new kinds of food and immerse herself in new books. I love the music in this scene. It has a nice medieval-ish feel to it, the kind of music you`d expect to hear in this world and time. Another interesting touch is that it starts out joyful but there`s a small ominous tone that grows bigger and louder as the music plays, as if forshadowing an impening doom.

This is followed by another really good scene: Rapunzel`s parents, another great example of visual storytelling where no dialogue is needed, the animation says it all.

Movie critic and comedian Doug Walker said in his review of this movie that the voice acting on Rapunzel and Eugene could have been better, not that the actors did a poor job, he was just always aware that there was a person behind a microphone. Personally I had no problem with Rapunzel`s and Eugene`s voice. Mandy Moore did a great job voicing Aerith in the first Kingdom Hearts game and I didn`t even know (at the time) it was her. I was aware that it was her before watching the movie, but while watching it I had no problem separating the voice from the celebrity and enjoying the movie. I didn`t even know who voiced Eugene, I looked it up and found that it was Zachary Levi, Chuck Bartowski from Chuck. He did his own singing too, I didn`t know he could sing. Is there anything that intersect can`t do?

I mention Doug Walker because what he felt about the original voice actors is what I felt about about the actors in the swedish-dubbed version. Måns Zelmerlöw (Eugene Fitzherbert) and Molly Sandèn (Rapunzel) were not bad, I just didn`t feel as invested with them as I was with the original version. Moore and Levi both have acting experience and their voices had a certain maturity. Sandèn and Zelmerlöw are both younger, singers and hasn`t had as much acting experience as Moore and Levi. (Sandèn`s experience in dubbing is, so far, limited to two Highschool Musical movies where she dubbed the songs.) The parts where they sing sound great though. Now, with that out of the way...I like "I see the light", don`t have much to say about it though, but more to say about the scene where it is sung. It is beautifully animated and directed. Eugene having prepared the two lanterns, one for each of them, shows that he is willing to go that little extra length for someone else, something the old Eugene (or Flynn) would not have done so easily, if at all. Another nice little detail in this scene is that the lantern that is about to sink into the water that Rapunzel pushes back up into the sky is her parents lantern.

How Maximus managed to get help from the Snugly Duckling thugs is not hard to imagine. Most likely scenario: He ran to the pub with one of Eugene`s wanted posters in his mouth and waved it in front of their faces.

Thug: What is it horse? Is the guy with the big freaky nose and his longhaired girlfriend in danger?

Maximus would nod and the thugs would huddle and start planning Eugene`s escape.

Is it a stretch that Rapunzel can remember things from when she was just a few days old? Maybe convenient but not unbelievable, Rapunzel was born under special circumstances after all. If she has healing hair why can`t she also have a super-memory and (from what I`ve read on the Disney wikia) super-strength? Seriously, she carries around a large amount of hair that no ordinary human would be able to carry as easily as she does. "But how was Gothel able to overpower her?"

one might wonder. I have a few theories.

A: Maybe she isn`t superstrong, maybe her hair is just very, very light.

B: She has some form of psychosomatic mental block that prevents her from overpowering Gothel.

C: Gothel, who managed to beat both the of Stabbington brothers, is really really good at fighting dirty. Wouldn`t surprise me if she used Rapunzel`s long hair to her advantage. Near the end of the movie Eugene dies but is brought back to life by a tear from Rapunzel. Typical Disney death, yes, but it makes sense, more sense than the original fairytale. In the original fairytale the prince got pushed out of the tower by Dame Gothel and landed in thorns below that damaged his eyes and blinded him. He later met Rapunzel who`s tears restored his sight. Unlike the movie it was never (to my knowledge at least) established before that moment that she had any form of healing powers, it just happened because of fairytale logic.So, does Rapunzel have healing tears now or was all her healing powers used up in that one tear? Don`t know, guess we`ll have to wait and see. I`m fine either way.The final scene where the kingdom celebrates Rapunzel`s return is... not bad or unnecessary, it`s just not as good as the previous scene where Rapunzel is reunited with her parents. It`s as if the filmmakers were afraid that their happy ending wasn`t happy enough. It`s the part where all the Snugly Duckling thugs had their dreams come true, for me it would have been enough to see them just partake in the festivities since we only heard them talk (or rather, sing) about their dreams but we never saw them struggle for them. Then again, not seeing them reach their goals that they sang about would feel like an unused chekov`s gun. I think the part with the Snugly Duckling thugs would have worked better without Eugene`s narration confirming that they all got exactly what they wanted, but I`m probably nitpicking here. Even if it was a typical Disney "Look! Everybody gets a happy ending!"-ending it was short and wasn`t bad.

And who doesn`t like a drunken, flirting dwarf in a diaper?

Sure, it has a few flaws but it`s one of my favourite movies.

That`s all I have for now but I`m not done yet. More thoughts on Tangled coming later. I thought that all of my thoughts on Tangled might be a little much to read if put into one editorial, so I decided to divide it into two.

[le-petitmort]

Part II – This thing is about to be a thing

In one-point-four seconds I came to the realization that I am quite literally…the dumbest motherfucker ever. First, I never got her digits. Second…I never got her digits. Disgraceful. Where was my situational awareness? It was akin to a scrawny defender putting pressure up court on the opposing team’s guard, not paying attention and running smack dab into a pick set by a seven foot chiseled like a bronze formed by the hands of Donatello, NBA center. Basketball metaphors…get used to them.

Anyway, it knocked the wind out of my sails. The reason being is that I had formulated this grandiose plan for her to make the first move beyond the first move. To engage the conversation. Open the forum. Get the small talk out the way. Allowing me to pitter patter and tiptoe my way past the threshold of awkwardness and straight to the glory road of getting to know her intimately.

By intimately, I’m not talking about straight to boom, boom, out go the lights carnal skullduggery complete with passionate wet kisses, heavy petting and cock to pussy communication. I was angling for dinner first. Not wine, dine and sixty-nine dinner either. I had it built up in my head that I was going to treat this one like a lady. Later on, I could whisper filthy invitations in her ear that would make her coo, as my hand deftly slid up her thigh towards paradise. Getting to that point would be the hard part. Or maybe not.

Maybe, I had put this particular pussy on a pedestal. Perhaps she was a cum guzzling cock whore who jumped bed to bed trolling for fat cock in the ocean of fuckery that is Brooklyn?

Mayhap, she was one of those chicks who secretly delved into her passionate side by stroking the kitty by the light of her iPhone to kinky images on tumblr. Trolling for virtual cock with selfie side boob action, a toothy smile of seduction and a user name like…say…wantonbabygirldreamsandtequilamemories.

Perchance, all that was completely off base and she was raised right by her parents. A pristine catholic girl with of heart and mind of gold, devout in her love of our lord and savior Jesus Christ who would be spending good Friday getting ashes thumbed on her forehead…or whatever it is Catholics do on that religious day. I’m agnostic so, I have zero idea and I highly doubt she’s Ms. Goodytwoshoes since I had already noted in passing that she likes a smoke and a cocktail in the evening. Plus, she wears those fancy stocking that scream “unwrap me Daddy and see the present beneath”.

Let’s get back on point. This is how much I’ve thought into her. The epitome of pussy on a pedestal syndrome. Now, we’ve had an actual conversation. Albeit, a very short conversation. Brevity is sometimes good…except when you don’t get the digits.

The face to face was going to have to happen. Overcoming my fear of ineptitude and delving into my inner rico suave. A little more toned down though, than an unbuttoned white shirt to the navel, smooth talking lothario schtick. But, more than simply me. Yep, this girl has me all sorts of fucked up.

You’re probably wondering, “what’s with all the self-loathing, dude?”. I admit it’s got to be a bit of a turn off so, here’s the back story. No, I am not a virgin who sprawls across the couch in my jockey’s eating flamin’ hot Cheetos whilst penning dirty poems to lewd images on tumblr under a username such as…bigdongdaddysearchingforhootchiecocksluts. I’m also not the kind of man who walks into a room, drawing in beautiful, leggy, big busted vixens like steel to a magnet. I’m somewhere in the middle.

A relationship failure who gets too wrapped up in his work. Which can come off as neglectful to a significant other. But, I’ve had a plan since I was eighteen that I’d be retired on a beach in Mexico by the time I was forty, with my gorgeous wife and two adorable children playing in the sand as I sip a corona and reminisce about all the good times.

You see, I like plans. I don’t like flying by the seat of my pants. Life is analytical. Meant to be linear with a point A, B, C and onward. Peaks and valleys are for the weak. Which is why, when I first spied my dream girl promenading down the crooked sidewalks of Williamsburg, I stopped the initial urge to go in for the kill and went with formulation of a process. Fucking up in love multiple times will do such things to a man.

The plan was off though, for now. I wasn’t going to be able to slap another ”call me, maybe” note on her morning coffee to pique interest. That was already done. Mutual admiration and quite possibly mutual eye fucking were already in play. She had said it herself! Not so much in those words. But, I’d been noticed. How had I not noticed her noticing me? I really am daft at this shit…or maybe I need a lightning bolt of confidence in my life?

Is this moment it? Is that all I needed was the knowledge that there was a connection from across the room that I hadn’t felt? Was there truly distant simpatico? Was kismet closer than the vacuum of my unsure, fearful mind? Do we already have a thing for each other?! Holy fuck. These are the questions whirring in my head at 5 AM. Just like the ceiling fan spinning full speed above my bed. I’m one hundred twenty miles an hour of jubilation and angst. As much as I pride myself on a linear lifestyle, I climb to the mountain summit and hurl myself into a canyon of doubt with every passing second spent thinking about her.

I can hear the city coming to life. The traffic beginning to snarl. The metal clank of bodega doors rolling open. A single bird stationed on it’s perch singing.

I should be ambling into my office, coffee cup in hand starting my so-called work day. Instead I’m counting the minutes before I jump in the shower, clean up and go finish business with my future paramour. Yes sir, I’m forcing myself to project a dose of swagger. Laying here, mean mugging like an NBA power forward who just euro-stepped his way to a thundering game-changing dunk. I’m a winner, baby! Shelve that pitiful shit, bruh. You da man! Get fuckin’ fired up!

Which is why I basically pimp walked my way to the coffee shop when the time came for action. Outfit: casual. A hoodie from my alma mater, jeans with a strategic knee rip, green Nike air force ones on my feet. I popped straight through the shop door towards the familiar blonde at the counter like I owned the place. Ya boy iz in da house! Woof, woof, woof!

“Large straight black and a skinny latte, please.” I winked, expecting she’d question why I was getting two drinks instead of one.

She went straight to brewing and giving me the inflated total. “Twelve even. Name, please.” Ok, babe, maybe you don’t understand that lives are about to change in mere minutes. A whole cosmic galaxy is about to open up. Astronomers like Neil Degrasse Tyson will be talking about the cavalcade of stars falling out of the sky because two lips met at an overpriced local coffee shop in Brooklyn. Guess I’m getting ahead of myself there.

“Stephen…with a P.” I responded.

Apprehension and giddiness course through me. Giddiness seems unmanly but, my excitement isn’t. I’m bouncing heel to toe as our drinks magically appear before me. I check my phone one last time. Knowing her punctuality, we are currently at T minus 2 minutes and counting. Ps. I am not a stalker…to reiterate.

I grab the steaming drinks and fly towards the door, nearly tumbling over a shorty with her nose buried her phone. No time for apologies, I must nail down a cozy table on the sidewalk. I want this first meeting to be something the entire five boroughs of New York stops in awe to witness.

But, there she is coming through the door just as I reach for it. The coffees are in one hand and I can feel them about to crash right into her. I swivel my wrist, going for the save. No fucking way am I flinging a skinny latte across the object of my forever affections. Fuck no. Shit. There it goes. Whoa…steady as she goes. Eye widening panic! Boom goes the dynamite! My fingers grip the cups harder and safely held. Crisis averted.

Cool and casual like that. “Here you go Iona.” I handed over her drink with a smile.

“Iona?” She looked at me puzzled.

My eyes darted, alarmed. “Uh, yesterday…when you made your order here. Uh…you told the cashier your name was Iona?” Now it was time for my own quizzical. “Your name is Iona…right?”

She blew out a breath. The kind that shoots upward, blowing a dangling strand of her bangs from her rolling at being caught in a fib eyes. “That’s a thing I do. To sound exotic.” She gave a quick shake of the head and nodded to the counter. “I change it up every day. Glenda, Marion, Billie Jean...Iona. Whatever I’m feeling like that day.”

Her hand casually reached for a true introductory shake. “My real name is Tuesday…and I already know you’re Stephen…with a P.”

My smile was contemplatively wry. “Isn’t Tuesday an exotic enough name already? I mean…I’ve never met a Tuesday.”

“Yeah, well, a girl has to have many faces. One must stay intriguing and beguiling.”

“I’m intrigued and beguiled.” I shot back. Somehow feeling comfortable in my skin for a change.

The corners of her lips curved. “Mutual.”

Relaxation immediately struck. My entire being at ease. A wordless infinity.

“But, I’m sorry Stephen. Much as I’d like to sit down and get to know you, I have to be to work in five minutes. I’m all about a strict schedule.” Nice! She really is perfection.

“I completely understand that.”

Tuesday fished a hand into her oversized tote, withdrawing a business card which she handed over. “I neglected to leave you my number last night. I was a little jittery over it all…well...you know.” Our eyes locked. Mesmerizing. “Will you call me for dinner?” She questioned as if there was some sort of doubt.

“Absolutely.” I opened the door, leading her through. Two fingers steadied at the small of her back. Feeling a response as Tuesday’s back comfortably adjusted.

She turned to me on the street, one last parting moment.  Words breaking apart the sweetest lips I’d ever laid eyes on. “Thanks for latte. I like a man who gets me coffee in the morning…cliché, I know.”

“The pleasure was all mine.”

Tuesday paused, giving thought to one last message. “Just so you know…I don’t do personal calls or texts during the work day. So, don’t bother. I’m married to my career. I have a plan.”

I gave the thumbs up. Fucking perfection.

-bart 4.20.2019

[accountingfortaste]

Greatest moments of #Family in The Fast and the Furious

By Clay Keller

Any true fan of the The Fast and the Furious franchise, or, really, any human person who has seen a trailer or any press tour interviews for The Fast and the Furious franchise, knows that what truly drives these films aren’t the increasingly insane car stunts or the increasingly insane biceps of Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson. The entire world knows that what drives the Fast and The Furious franchise is its increasingly insane dedication to the idea of family.

Whether it’s a literal family, comprised of people who are actually related to each other, or a made family, comprised of people who like risking their lives in cars together, there is nothing that Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) cares about more than the people around whatever table he happens to be sitting at, drinking a Corona. He does it, as a song from the Furious 7 soundtrack elucidates, “all for the family.”   

So, for the next few minutes, let’s forget the cars jumping onto boats, bank vaults wiping out first floors of buildings, and cargo planes exploding on the world’s longest runways, and focus on the all-time best moments of family in this eight-film juggernaut action franchise that began as a low-rent Point Break clone about street racers who steal DVD players.   

(Full disclosure: The author truly adores these movies and any snarkiness of tone is meant in the spirit of loving, familial, ribbing.)  

(Warning: This piece will feature 26 uses of the word “family.” 27, including that one.)

“Sean’s Dad Stops Him From Getting Killed” - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Sean Boswell (Lucas Black) has pretty lousy parents. His mother, overwhelmed by Sean’s housing development-destroying shenanigans, ships him off to Japan, where his estranged military man father spends most of the film being annoyed by Sean’s indifference to curfews.

The bar for family moments is so low in this Walker and (mostly) Diesel-less entry, that it’s actually kind of touching when Sean’s dad (Brian Goodman) comes out of nowhere, gun in hand, to stop the Drift King (Brian Tee)  from killing his son. Major Boswell may be a distant alcoholic who thinks his son is a disrespectful ne'er do well, but damn if he’ll let him get shot dead at his front door.

This act of paternal protection leads to a nice little conversation about responsibility, then Boswell the elder disappears into the Tokyo night, never to be seen again. It’s a small scene, but one of the best in the film. Shockingly, for all of the focus on family and fathers throughout the course of this series, Sean is the only character whose parents we actually meet.

Until Fate, that is.

“Daddy’s Gotta Coach a Soccer Game” - The Fate of the Furious

The opening moments of F. Gary Gray’s The Fate of the Furious find DSS agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) facing his greatest threat yet: that the Dragons might lose the championship and he’ll have to take a dozen heartbroken little girls out for manicures.

Ignoring the suits who come bearing a new mission, Hobbs leads his daughters soccer team in a traditional Polynesian Haka dance, giving them the strength and confidence to score more goals than the other team, and thus win the game. The moms don’t mind having him there, either.

The complete devotion Hobbs has to his daughter is sweet, and seeing a building-sized superhuman like The Rock insist on doing suburban dad activities is always great. Maybe in #F9 daddy will have to build IKEA bunk beds or chaperone a middle school dance. I think what I’m saying is that I want the inevitable Hobbs spin-off to be a remake of Definitely, Maybe.     

“Family BBQ, Original Recipe” - The Fast and the Furious

Every Toretto family BBQ is special, but you never forget your first.

Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) was definitely “sandwich crazy,” but flirtations with Mia (Jordana Brewster) aside, this may be the moment that his allegiances began shifting from the LAPD to the ragtag found family of street racing criminals he was sent to investigate. Remember, Brian is a father-less latchkey kid from Barstow who spent the majority of his youth hanging around demolition derbies and roughhousing with Roman Pierce. For him, the entire experience of a Toretto BBQ must have been overwhelming. The bountiful table! The loving banter! From Jesse’s (Chad Lindberg) charmingly stilted recitation of grace, to papa Dom’s forgiveness of misbehaving child Vince (Matt Schulze), when he sheepishly returns and wants a plate, Brian had never seen anything like it before. And it shows: Paul Walker plays the whole scene with the most wonderful doofy grin.

In a deleted scene, Brian tells Dom, Letty, and the rest of his new friends that the BBQ they’re having “feels like family.” While the use of the literal word “family” wouldn’t become pervasive until later in the series, the idea was born here, the first time that Brian O’Conner truly felt at home.

“Family Hug” - Fast Five

Dom and Brian have been “brothers” ever since the night of that very first street race in The Fast and The Furious, when, as everyone else fled, Brian went back to help Dom evade arrest. “The ‘buster’ kept me out of handcuffs…” Dom tells less-brave family member Vince, using, for the first time, what will become Brian’s unusually endearing nickname, “... the ‘buster’ brought me back.” From there the brotherhood would only grow. It had it’s ups (Brian letting Dom escape at the end of 1, Brian annihilating a prison bus to free Dom in 5) and it’s downs (Dom finding out Brian’s a cop) but family is family.

So, naturally, one of the best “family moments” in the Fast and Furious lineage is in Fast Five, when family becomes family. It happens in a favela spillway in Rio. Dom, Mia, and Brian have just escaped (a pre-family) Hobbs, and are planning their next move. Dom suggests they split up. Mia doesn’t like that idea, you see, she’s pregnant. Brian is elated. Uncle Dom spends a moment in silent reflection, as he’s want to do. Then, grinning from ear to ear, he pulls his sister and brother in for the single best hug of the franchise. “Our family just got a little bigger,” he says.  

Just like that our heroes went from “brothers” to brothers, and the guiding mythos of The Fast and the Furious was set in stone.

Which is family, in case that wasn’t clear.

“A Day at the Beach” - Furious 7

Ex-cop Brian begins 2015’s Furious 7 questioning his decision to settle down and be a dad. He “misses the bullets,” and his minivan doesn’t have quite the same get up and go as the Nos-ed up Skylines he’s grown accustomed to as part of Dom Toretto’s team of gearhead superheroes for hire.

After two hours of dangling over cliffs, jumping Lambos through skyscrapers, and being forced to fight Tony Jaa multiple times, he comes to the conclusion that maybe life in the slow lane isn’t so bad after all.

Brian’s choice of “family over repeated hand to hand combat with Tony Jaa” becomes clear in the penultimate scene of the film, when, after successfully securing the “God’s Eye” and defeating Jason Statham, the gang puts on their flowiest linen shirts and hits the beach.  

While Brian plays in the surf with his wife and son, the team looks on, making the bittersweet observation that he finally looks happy, and that this is where he’s always belonged: with his family. Then Dom stands up and, uh, says something. And then the scene with the two cars driving in different directions?   

(Full disclosure: the author intended to carefully rewatch this scene for the purposes of this article, but started crying almost immediately and had to turn it off)

It’s a beautiful, and surprisingly tasteful, scene, and a perfect send off for the O’Conner family.

[wickedmage4106]

TMNT Leonardo: A Hidden Romance chapter 1

Years have passed at the turtles were teenagers as now were full grown adults as Leo and Raph were thirty as Donnie and Mickey were 29. Shredder was gone but still the foot clan was still around with Karai now being the new Shredder; even with the Purple Dragons the turtles were still protecting their great city of New York that they love. Still living in the Sewers but in their own rooms to keep away from their own brothers to keep their own secrets in their rooms. The brothers still bickered but all still love each other. Right now Mickey and Raph were jamming in the band room they made making very loud music as Donnie was on his computer and Leo meditating but was failing.

Leo’s left closed eye twitch in annoyance as he opened his eyes as he glared at his brothers as he sighed angrily as he got up and stormed over and grabbed the drumsticks.

“Hey!” Mickey exclaimed!

“Yo what are ya doing?” Raph asked as he stopped playing his guitar.

“You’ve been playing for hours and it’s giving me a headache,” Leo sneered as he dropped the drumsticks.

“Oh back off Leo we’re only trying to kill time shit,” Raph cursed as Leo walked away then got in his brothers face.

“For over four hours!” Leo shouted then Mickey got up and to push the two apart.

“Hey hey hey! Calm down!” Mickey tried to make peace.

“Enough!” Splinter shouted as the two split apart as they faced their father. “Raphael, Michelangelo it is time for you to take a rest. We all live here my sons and I know it is hard but try to compromise.”

“They can play I’m going out for some air to clear my head,” Leo spoke as he grabbed his swords and headed for the cool night air of the city to meditate on a lonely building.

=======================================

Leo was enjoying the air of his beloved city as he meditated until he heard a scream which his senses immediately opened his eyes and ran to where he heard the scream. Jumping over a few buildings he stopped at the edge to see several Purple Dragons roughing up a woman who was trying to fight back but one large man bear hug her from behind before lifting her up and dropping her hard on the ground super hard. One creep grabbed her purse as he went through it and another bent down to pull something from her neck which she tried to grab back.

“Lookie here, a pretty necklace,” the guy spoke as the girl grabbed his ankle.

“Give that back,” she groaned as the male kicked her away.

“Showtime,” Leo thought as he pulled out a shuriken as he took out the lamp out making the group whom started to freak out.

Jumping down Leo kicked the tall fat man that threw the woman on the ground which sent him into the wall as he used his blades to cut two of the other thug’s guns in half before punching them in the face. Leo them kicked another into their motorcycles as several of them began to run away screaming, “It’s the turtles!”

Leo smirked until he heard a thunk to turn around to see the woman drop a metal pipe as she knocked out the guy who threw her on the ground. She swayed as she picked up a silver chain that had a heart shape locket on it. Leo watched as she came into the small light that was coming from the road as his breath caught in his throat. The girl she was about in her twenties as she had curly wavy dark color brown hair that almost look black to him that fell down to her waist. Her eyes were soft shade of brown with mascara and eyeliner with dark lipstick that made her angelic pale face seem to glow. Hiding in the shadows as Leo looked over her slender pale frame with medium size breast dressed in a blue Navy sheer sleeveless chiffon dress with contrast lace paneling through the lace fabric. Black jeans with a pair of studded black heel boots. What else that made the breath in Leo’s throat not move was the tattoo’s he could see.

On her left under forearm was a beautiful blue humming bird with long peacock feathers with teal, purple, and pink in the feathers with pink sakura blossoms in the background. Even in the shadows he can black, grey, and blue of a daisy, sunflower, peacock feathers, and a rose as she bent down to collect her things. Overall, Leo was entranced by her.

“Come out,” Leo heard her raspy voice as she groaned standing up straight looking around. “I know you are still here.”

Leo thought about it long and hard but sighed as he stepped out to where she could see him in the little light that there was. The older brother was nervous as he stared at her as she stared back at him holding her sore side. Watching her eyes as they moved over his frame until they met his blue eyes.

Leo cleared his throat as he pointed at her side before dropping his hand, “Are you hurt seriously?”

Leo watch from as she seemed startled slightly from his deep voice was looked calm as she shook her head, “No just sore from when he dropped me. I’ve had worse than what they caused me.”

She looked at the guy she knocked out with disgust then tired at Leo, “Thanks, um.”

“Leo,” Leo cleared his throat again. “Names Leonardo.”

A soft smile appeared as she lightly laughed, “Like Di Vinci.”

Leo returned the smile as he nodded as his nervousness faded away until she stopped laughing as she started to fall but Leo acted fast as he caught her.

“Ow,” she groaned.

“That guy body slammed you to the ground pretty good,” Leo mentioned as she leaned against him.

“No shit and names Mia,” Mia spoke.

“Where do you live?” Leo asked as she looked down at her as her brown eyes looked up at him that really made his heart beat faster.

“What?” Mia looked confused.

Leo picked her up bridal style, “Where do you live? I’ll take you home.”

“Um in the Upper West Side,” Mia replied.

“Okay, hold on,” Leo said as held her close to him as her arms moved around his neck as he jumped up back onto the roof as he started to run really fast towards the West Side. As he run he glanced down every now often as her eyes were closed due to the wind but she still looked beautiful. After reaching the West Side, Mia had told him which building she was in and luckily lived in a loft with a balcony which he jumped down on the balcony as he gently placed her on her feet but still swayed as she steadied herself by holding onto his arms.

“Mia?” a voice called out from inside the apartment as Mia looked behind her as she heard her roommate.

“Shit,” she muttered as she looked at Leo. “We got to hide, I thought she had left for her date.”

Leo nodded as he picked her up and climbed up the escape the fire escape to the roof of the loft as the two looked over the end as a woman opened the two stain glass doors. A beautiful woman with blonde hair with ombre red tips in beach waves falling to her shoulders with slight tan skin on her athletic frame, hazel green eyes with multiple red/black sexy tattoos on her shoulders down to her arms of roses, thorns, pin up women and sugar skull women with roses. Dressed in a tight black club dress in red popping pumps with red lip stick that matched her shoes looked around. Seeing no one she walked back inside closing the doors behind her as Mia and Leo sighed relieved.

“Sorry about Cherry, I thought she had left an hour ago,” Mia spoke as Leo jumped down on the ground quietly with Mia in his arms as her arms were still around his neck.

“Don’t worry about,” Leo replied as the two watched the woman named Cherry soon leave after three minutes as Leo placed Mia back on the ground.

He helped her inside as he helped her sit on the black leather couch while Leo looked around until he saw the kitchen as he walked over looking for a rag as he got some ice from the freezer, making his way back over to Mia as he placed the ice on where her hand was.

“Let me see,” Leo asked politely as Mia nodded. She lifted up her shirt as Leo saw an already forming bruise appearing on her left rib cage as his eyes also fell on the beautiful blue scales that were under her bra. Swallowing his salvia that was building in his mouth, he placed the ice gently to her skin as she hissed. “Sorry.”

“Its fine just really sore,” Mia whimpered.

“I’m more surprised you aren’t afraid of me, usually when people see me they cower in fear,” Leo spoke as Mia could tell that it sadden him as his face looked hurt.

“I’ve seen real monsters in my time growing up, you aren’t a monster,” Mia spoke truthfully as Leo looked up at him shocked.

Leo felt a wave of such relief and joy he didn’t know what to do, he smiled at Mia as what she said had touched him deeply. After so many years of hearing this from people him and his brothers it hurt each time they heard it even if April and Casey didn’t think so. Many others still didn’t think like their friends even if the turtles explained they weren’t monsters. Looking back at the bruise as Mia leaned her head back then looked at her purse. Leo pulled his hand back as he let her through her purse.

“Did they take anything?” Leo asked as he stood up and looked around the loft which had many different paintings on the walls along a few girly items laying around which the fearless leader blushed at.

“No which is good, I never usually keep much on me besides my locket which my mother gave. It’s all I have left of her,” Mia stood up as she groaned until she touched her locket which Leo noticed.

Leo felt the same, he wouldn’t know what to do if he lost his father. Hell, he was even more afraid of what his brothers would do if Splinter died even though it would happen in the future. Turning he saw Mia walk towards the fridge as she pulled out two Coronas.

“Here,” She handed on to Leo whom took it as he looked at it. Mia opened hers as she saw Leo place it down, “You never had one before?”

“I prefer sake on occasion but thanks Mia,” Leo replied as Mia shrugged her shoulders. “I should be off as I have to get back to my home as it was nice meeting you.”

Mia walked with him to the balcony as Leo jumped up on the ledge as he turned to her, “Thank you for rescuing me Leonardo, I wouldn’t know what to do if you hadn’t shown up.”

Leo smiled, “Don’t worry about, it’s what I do to protect the city I love.”

“Well I’m glad you’re here,” Mia walked up to Leo as she placed a hand on his shoulder as she leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thanks again Leo.”

Mia walked away as she smiled at him as she walked back inside. Leo touched his cheek as his heart was pounding against his chest. Grinning he jumped off the ledge as he ran home grinning from ear to ear. Just before he entered his home he paced as he calmed down to get that grin off his face as he continued to think of me which made him stop.

Mia. His face flushed as he thought of her kissing his cheek. He thought of his brothers and he thought of not telling. The fearless leader knew it wasn’t right but he wanted this memory to himself. Keep how sweet and beautiful Mia was and didn’t want Mickey hitting on her like when he used to do to April when they were younger. Taking a deep breath as he kept his face calm he walked back into the lair was he saw Mickey and Donnie playing some video game while Raph was in his gym from the equipment that could be heard.

“Ah my son,” Leo turned to see his father walk up to him from his Bonsai room. “How was your meditation?”

Leo gulped as he kept calm as he shrugged his shoulders, “It was peaceful, and I feel better. Thanks sensei.”

“That’s good,” Splinter replied as he went to his room.

Leo hated lying to his father but he wanted to protect Mia and keep her to himself. Going to his room he decided to write down what happened in his journal he kept secret from his brothers.

==================================================

Not my best work but I hope you like.

[maryseward666]

METALLICA's LARS ULRICH Recalls Meeting JAMES HETFIELD For First Time: 'He Was Very Shy And Super Introverted'

RARE BLACK METAL COLLECTIBLES

The day before METALLICA was honored with the prestigious Polar Music Prize on June 14 in Stockholm, Sweden, the band's drummer, Lars Ulrich, was interviewed by music journalist Jan Gradvall. During the hour-long chat, which can be seen below, Ulrich spoke about METALLICA's beginnings back in the early 1980s, their musical influences and long and sucessful career. A couple of excerpts follow (transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET). On the first time he met METALLICA frontman James Hetfield and how the band was formed: Lars: "[My family] moved to Los Angeles, to Newport Beach, a suburb down in the south, and I was gonna play tennis on the local high school team there. There was an Australian tennis player named Roy Emerson who was close with my dad, and he had a son named Anthony Emerson, and he was the star tennis player at Corona Del Mar high school. And I was gonna come in and be the number two player at Corona Del Mar high school. In Denmark at that time, I was kind of ranked in the top 10 in the country and blah blah blah, and I was gonna come to Newport Beach and be with Anthony Emerson on this tennis team. Except the problem was that when I tried out for the high school team, I wasn't one of the seven best players in the school. And I wasn't even one of the seven best players on the street I lived on, I think. So, literally, in one day, the whole tennis dream just crashed — crashed and burned hard — and music was waiting in the wings to take over. There was a 7-Eleven [store], and 7-Eleven had a local classified ads newspaper called the Recycler, or it was available at all 7-Elevens. And you could buy and sell cars and lawnmowers and kitchen appliances or whatever. And in the very back, there was a small section about musicians looking for bands and bands looking for musicians. So I put in an ad saying, 'Drummer looking for other heavy metal fans,' or whatever, 'to start band. Influences: DIAMOND HEAD, ANGEL WITCH, TYGERS OF PAN TANG and VENOM' or something. And I would get all these calls from these guys saying, 'I'm into heavy metal. I like STYX and I like KANSAS and I like VAN HALEN' or whatever. And, 'Who's DIAMOND HEAD?' Then we would sort of have that conversation. And then I went and tried to play music with a bunch of these people and none of it worked out. And then one day, there was a call from a guy called Hugh Tanner, who had said if he could bring a friend of his along, and we met up and played music for an afternoon. And the guy that he brought along was James Hetfield. [James was] very shy, super introverted, could barely look you in the eye, barely have a conversation. But there was some connection with him as we were playing. And even though nothing happened that day, I ended up being kind of frustrated with the whole thing. And now it was June of 1981, so I went back and spent the summer in Europe and hung out, spent some time in England with DIAMOND HEAD and MOTÖRHEAD and so on. But when I came back to America in October of that year, I called up that James Hetfield guy again, 'cause there was just some vibe, a connection. And I said if he wanted to get together and see if there was a possibility of something, and we hooked up. And 37 years later, I'm sitting here. He was at that time… I came from a cultured European upbringing, was an only child, very close to my parents — my parents were my best friends at the time. And he was the exact opposite — the classic American rebellious, sort of 'Fuck my parents, fuck society, fuck The Man' — that whole thing… I think his father took off… not exactly sure when, but I know he was very disconnected from his father and he was raised by his mother who then got cancer when he was 14 or 15. And because of the particular Christianity that they believed in, they were not allowed to seek medical help. So, basically, I think over the course of a year and a half, he watched his mother pass away right in front of his eyes. So that, obviously, had a significant impact on him. I met him, I think, about a year after that — maybe he was 17 or 18. [He was] painfully shy and awkward. But we connected over music and we sat up in my room in Newport Beach and listened to, like I said, TYGERS OF PAN TANG and GIRLSCHOOL and SAXON and ANGEL WITCH, and all these things, and he loved all that stuff. He grew up more on American [artists like] AEROSMITH and Ted Nugent and that kind of stuff. But we found a common language and a common thing that we could both feel connected to and identify with. And we started playing songs together. Most of the songs we started with were covers of New Wave Of British Heavy Metal songs that were very off the radar, because we wanted to start playing concerts right away. So we figured if we learned a set… A lot of bands in the bars and the clubs at that time were playing KISS songs and JUDAS PRIEST songs, or whatever, so we figured we would play some covers, but not songs that people knew. And then we would take our time and start writing our own songs later." On the change in METALLICA's musical direction with the 1991 self-titled fifth album, commonly known as "the black album": Lars: "[METALLICA's co-manager] Cliff [Burnstein] and I went under the bleachers in Toronto. We were playing with AEROSMITH. It was the summer of 1990, and it was the very end of the 'Justice' cycle. It was James, me and [Cliff], and we went under the bleachers at the CNE [Stadium] in Toronto in the summer of 1990. And we had finished the 'Justice' cycle and we sat and told Cliff that we felt that we had pushed the progressive side of METALLICA… The last song on the '…And Justice For All' album was a song called 'Dyers Eve', which is five minutes of, basically, what we jokingly call 'math metal.' So we found, as we were going along on that tour, as the audiences became bigger and bigger, that some of the crazier, 10-minute progressive songs felt like they were connecting less and less with the audience. And we felt that we had, from a creative point of view, pushed… Where do you go after 'Dyers Eve'? It's, like, you have reached the end of that — there's nothing beyond that. So we decided that we were gonna try to take… We creatively wanted to take a turn. And so we figured that simplicity and trying to be a little more cohesive… we needed to do something else. And… we did. And then we made the 'black album' with [producer] Bob Rock and then all of that happened. We felt like we were on a creative journey that — and we've always felt like we've been on a creative journey that always needs to be reinvigorated, reinvented. And I think we, as people, have a fear of repetition, or fear of being stuck. And maybe even to the point where you could argue that we fight it too much. I think we may have made a couple of turns at some point that were almost too much, just because we don't wanna be fucking trapped in what people want from us, what the community expects from us. And we are so fiercely independent and autonomous, and nobody's gonna hold us back, and we're just gonna keep changing it up all the time. But this record really was a reflection on… I think if you look at the first four records — 'Kill 'Em All', 'Ride The Lightning', 'Master Of Puppets', '…And Justice [For All]' — there was a natural progressive growth and evolution that just came to an end point at the end of the '…And Justice For All' album. And the only place forward, other than repeating yourself or getting stuck in that moment, was to do something completely different, and that's what we did for the next couple of years." METALLICA was awarded the Polar Music Prize at a ceremony where Ulrich and bassist Robert Trujillo watched GHOST frontman Tobias Forge, along with members of Swedish metal act CANDLEMASS and the duo VARGAS & LAGOLA, honor the band with a performance of the METALLICA classic "Enter Sandman". Swedish singer Loney Dear performed "Wherever I May Roam" and "No Leaf Clover", while REFUSED frontman Dennis Lyxzen and ex-MOTÖRHEAD drummer Mikkey Dee covered the song "Whiplash". Reading the citation for METALLICA were DEEP PURPLE's Ian Paice and Roger Glover. Ulrich and Trujillo accepted the prize from His Majesty King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden. In his acceptance speech, Ulrich said: "Who would have thought, when METALLICA started this musical journey 37 years ago, that one day we would be standing in front of both musical royalty and actual royalty, accepting one of the most prestigious prizes that can be bestowed upon musicians."

[Read More ...]

MY BLOG: http://www.rockoutwithyourcockout.com/

from Rock Out With Your Cock Out http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/metallicas-lars-ulrich-recalls-meeting-james-hetfield-for-first-time-he-was-very-shy-and-super-introverted/ via IFTTT

[ericjuneau]

Reprise (Chapter 15) [Frozen/Tangled/The Little Mermaid]

CHAPTER 15: Traveled Ground

While Elsa steered, Rapunzel sat and played solitaire with a flimsy deck from the captain's cabin. She didn't know anything about navigation, so she spent some time cleaning and arranging supplies, but that grew lonely. Ariel was in a tub below deck. So she came out to spend time with Elsa.

"Did you find any food?" Elsa asked.

"There's a little packed for us. The pirates left behind some limes, flour, lots of moldy old grains. Not even sure I could make anything out of it."

"Hmm. We'll have to restock in Corona." Elsa asked.

Rapunzel combed her fingers through her hair, having taken out the braids. "So... that ice thing... that's still happening?"

"What? Oh... I suppose. Not... it's harder to control with everything that's come up."

"I understand. There's new friends and pirates and Arendelle in trouble and sinking underwater in giant ice globes. Besides..." She trailed a finger across a crack in the boards. "There's some things you never really get over."

"Worry more about poor Ariel. She has no control whatsoever over her transformations."

"Do you think we could carry her up?"

Elsa shook her head. "She needs to sleep. At least one of us should. We won't reach Corona until mid-day, if my estimates are right." Elsa glanced at her sextant, did a quick calculation, and turned the rudder. "You should go to sleep too."

"I will. In a little while. It's too beautiful out here." The stars reminded her of the floating lanterns--as if the hundreds released over the years were still forever rising.

Below deck, Ariel couldn't sleep. She was excited and depressed at the same time.

Excited because, for the first time in a long while, she was on an adventure with friends. Depressed because she had to stay away from everyone, like when her father beached her as a child. For twelve hours a day, she was useless.

Ariel turned on her stomach and rested her head on the tub's edge. She was like a fish in a bowl. Nothing but a big fork for company.

She looked down at the trident. It had so much godlike power, but she couldn't even use it. Not reliably. If only she had...

Well, that was a thing. She needed practice. And why not now?

Ariel held out the trident. She had to start small. If she punched a hole in the ship, her friends would be mad at her to say the least. And there was more to the trident than blasting.

A set of empty glass jars sat on a shelf nearby--dark and dirty. Ariel pointed her trident at the nearest one, willing it to... what? What could the trident do? Summon storms, shoot lightning, change mermaids to humans. Perhaps it was capable of anything.

Honestly, all she wanted was to pack a punch. Her skinny arms wouldn't hold any force, and she needed a way to make up for her shortcomings. Elsa had her ice. Rapunzel could use her hair as a rope or for healing wounds.

It just took concentration. Ariel pointed the trident and thought about making the jar move. Make it move. Make it move.

The jar trembled, then exploded. Ariel turned to avoid a shower of shards. No luck there.

She pointed at the second jar.

"I can do this. I can do this," she repeated to herself. She raised her chin, held up the trident, and concentrated.

The jar trembled. It wiggled, then fell off the shelf, breaking on impact.

Ariel's eyes widened. That was her.

Come on, girl, she said to herself. You can do this. This is your birthright. You might be the little, but you're the bravest mermaid I've ever seen. You stood up to a royal law. You united two totally different species.

A thin laser beam shot out. The glass jar careened back, clanging against the wall.

Ariel chittered, splashing water over the side. She did it. She could hang with the big girls now.

Ariel shoved the door to the top deck open. "Avast ye."

She stood in the doorway, hands on her hips, wearing full pirate regalia--a mauve double-breasted captain's coat with brass buttons and a white shirt underneath. Sunrise glistened against the cutlass on her belt. She adjusted the tri-corner hat over her flossy red hair.

"Where did you get that?" Elsa asked.

"Found it in a box," Ariel said. "Now move aside, landlubber. I be takin' over this ship."

Elsa smiled and turned away from the wheel, too tired to argue. "All yours, 'captain'."

"That's 'aye, sir', ye dog. Back to yer quarters wit' you."

Ariel approached the steering wheel, where she noticed Rapunzel sleeping at her foot. A blanket covered her. "What happened to her?" Ariel asked in a normal voice.

"Fell asleep. The maps are right next to you. It's a good wind. We should see Corona by noon." Elsa yawned. "So wake me when we're there."

"Aye aye." Ariel saluted. She grasped the wheel with two hands. In a little while, Rapunzel woke up.

"What in the world..." Rapunzel said.

Ariel threw back her head and laughed. She explained while Rapunzel dished out a breakfast of hard tack and limes. The conversation killed the time until midday. Together they spotted the first peek of Corona's taller peaks.

"Land ho!" Ariel shouted.

Rapunzel stood at the bow. She wanted to be the first to see her familiar home. The city looked so beautiful. And the grand castle in the center, a tower of-

Water exploded in front of the ship. Rapunzel shrieked and tripped backwards.

"What was that?" Ariel asked.

Another burst to port. They were coming from cannonballs. At the pier, white smoke drifted up and a moment later, there was a boom.  

"They're firing!" Rapunzel said, scrambling back to Ariel.

"On us?" Ariel yanked the wheel to starboard.

"What's going on?" Elsa asked. "Are we at Corona? Are we under attack?"

"Yes and yes," Rapunzel shouted. "They fired a warning shot."

"Why? We didn't do anything. We're not-" She noticed the main mast and its flag--the black and white Jolly Roger.

"They think we're pirates," Rapunzel said.

The three of them rushed to the main mast. "Why didn't they change the flag? That's the first thing they should have done," Elsa cursed.

"Where is the rope?" Rapunzel asked. "How are we supposed to get it down?"

The rope hung halfway up the mast. Its frayed ends swung with the motion of the boat.

"Now what are we supposed to do?" Ariel asked.

"Signs of retreat?" Captain Haldur asked. He shaded his eyes with his hands, viewing the lone pirate ship in Corona waters.

"No, sir," Lieutenant Kirkegaard said. "Still on evasive maneuvers. The clippers are almost undocked. Armed and ready to intercept the vessel."

"Dirty pirates," Haldur mumbled. "Maybe we ought to give them a stronger warning. Tell the cannoneer to attempt a contact shot."

"Any target, sir?"

"Doesn't matter. Knock down the mast, blow the hull open. We won't tolerate pirates in these waters. Even stupid ones."

"Aye sir, I'll give the order."

"Sir!" another guard spoke up, holding a telescope to her eye. "They're lowering their flag."

He grabbed the scope.

The skull and crossbones was descending. Jerkily and slowly, but lowering.

"What do those dirty pirates want? Surrender? Parley? They can parley with my rifle if they think..." He trailed off as the new flag rose. It was hard to see, because it wasn't a flag at all. "What is that? Some kind of rope? A yellow rope?"

Haldur followed it down the mast where it connected to a young woman's head. She stood beneath the mast, an annoyed smirk on her face. If it was a chunk of hair, that meant...

"The princess! Princess Rapunzel!" He dropped the spyglass. "Cease fire! Cease fire! Stand down." His lieutenants relayed the commands to their squadrons. "Inform the King and Queen. Get Commander Maximus down here. Message intercept vessels not to fire. Repeat, do not fire. They are to escort the ship into the nearest dock." He coughed as he collapsed the telescope. "With sincerest apologies."

As soon as the ship reached standstill, Corona servants jumped to work, securing ropes and placing the gangplank. Apologies and sincere regret abound from each worker. Rapunzel, who had lowered her hair from the flagpole, accepted each gracefully. Captain Haldur met Rapunzel on the deck, bent to his knees, and recited the long apology he had composed while waiting for them to dock.

"It's fine, it's fine," Rapunzel said. "It's our fault for not realizing about the flag."

"But, princess, why are you arriving in a pirate vessel? And with no crew? Just two... other princesses?"

Elsa and Ariel stepped forward, unable to keep from smiling.

"It's a long story. And I'll be happy to tell it, but first I'd love to get back to mother and father. We have urgent business."

"Of course." Haldur turned to the rail and shouted down. "The princess is disembarking."

The royal guard clapped their legs together. A bugler sounded the Corona anthem while Rapunzel, Elsa, and Ariel descended the gangplank. She didn't care for the fanfare, but it was a nice welcome back. And they seemed to enjoy the grandeur, maybe because they had been without a princess for so long.

"Oh, good, there's Flynn. And our captain of the guards is here," Rapunzel said as she waved.

Ariel and Elsa looked over the many armored shoulders for who she was waving that. They couldn't tell which one was the captain amid the many proud-looking cavalry with their horses.

A slender man with brown jaw walked beside a white warmblood stallion with a barrel chest. "Ladies," he bowed. "Prince Flynn Rider, at your service."

Rapunzel said in a sing-song voice, "You can't be calling yourself a prince, Flynn."

"Aren't I married to the princess? That makes me a prince," Flynn said, responding in the same tone.

"Then you'd have to be going by Prince Eugene Fitzherbert."

Flynn paused. "Hi. How ya doin'? The name's Flynn Rider."

"And this is Maximus," Rapunzel said. She embraced a white stallion around his neck. The horse whinnied as she rubbed his nose. "I missed you too. I have so much to tell you."

Maximus's eyes glazed over as she scratched around the collar of his chest plate. She, Flynn, and the horse started towards the palace.

"That... is Maximus?" Elsa whispered to Ariel.

"I was expecting the captain of the guards to... well... have two legs. Not four."

Elsa smirked. "Says the girl who doesn't have any."

Maximus took Rapunzel, Elsa, and Ariel to the castle. King Frederic and Queen Arianna met her at the gates. There was much embracing and introductions and explanations. Then Rapunzel whisked them off into the castle.

"Is the horse going to follow us in?" Elsa asked.

Maximus chuffed.

"He likes to be called by his name," Rapunzel said.

Ariel mouthed to Elsa, He?

"Believe me," Flynn said. "I've seen stubborn viceroys choose not to. They end up leaving the castle with hoof prints on their butt."

Commander Ansel ran in from a corridor and met them in the great hall. He skidded to a stop in front of the party. Everyone behind Rapunzel crashed into her, tripping on her hair.

"A thousand apologies, your highness. I was just now informed that you'd arrived," Ansel said.

"You're just the man I want to see. Arendelle needs your help."

"Arendelle? Under the rule of your cousin?"

"Yes. And this is said cousin, Queen Elsa."

Elsa stepped forward. "A pleasure."

Ansel bowed and kissed the royal hand. "An honor. How may I assist your countrymen?"

"Some enemies have formed a blockade around my waters, attempting to stage a coup. Luckily, we were able to escape without them noticing. But they won't be happy when they find out. Arendelle can defend itself, but I fear the cost."

Ansel stood to his full height. "I'll make orders to mobilize the fleet at once. All cannons and artillery will be prepared. If that's an acceptable strategy to the queen."

"The whole fleet?" Elsa asked.

"My policy is not to open negotiations, but to make a show of force," Ansel said.

"Maybe we can resolve this without a battle, if they see themselves outmatched," Rapunzel said. She wiggled her eyebrows in hopefulness.

Ansel nodded. "I intend to make it so no one ever thinks of attacking Arendelle again."

Ariel looked at Elsa, with eyes that said I'm not sure about this, but it's your call.

"The extra force would be appreciated," Elsa said.

"We'll have to discuss strategy later," Rapunzel said. "But get as ready as you can." Ansel bowed and walked off. To her father, she said, "Is the prisoner still down below? The one who appeared in my bedchamber the night my hair returned?"

"As far as I know. I don't know any news of him."

"We need to talk to him. To the dungeon."

Rapunzel led them down into the castle's deepest recesses, three floors below ground level. Water dripped, accompanying the smell of dank and mold.

Rapunzel and her entourage walked to the furthest cell. He wore a dirty orange tunic, green sash, and baggy pants.

"Well, took you long enough," the man said. "About time you apologized for this whole misunderstanding."

"You had a knife at her throat. How is that a misunderstanding?" Flynn asked.

The man grinned, showing long teeth in receded gums. "There was a bee on her. A big one."

"You said your name is Omis Ravir, right?" Rapunzel asked.

"Aye, that's what I said and I said what I meant."

"Omis Ravir, who took the faults of Temeris?"

"Well, of course I'm not that Omis Ravir. That's just a nickname."

"A nickname for what?" Ariel asked.

"A nickname for 'Why Would I Tell You My Real Name'? Besides it was just one fault."

Rapunzel's eyes widened. "Then you do know him."

He played with the ring in his ear. "Aw, granny's gonna kill me. Well, Omis Ravir's a bit of a ghost story round where we live. Guess it hasn't made it round to Corona yet. I thought it might scare you off."

"Where we live?" Elsa asked. "Are there more of you?"

"Do they know about Omis Ravir?" Ariel asked.

"Why should I tell you? What's in it for me?"

The three girls looked at each other. "What do you want?" Ariel asked.

The man clutched the bars. "A full pardon. And five hundred... no, a thousand pieces of gold."

"You tried to kill the princess!" Flynn yelled back. "You're lucky you've still got your head."

The man shrugged. "Granny always told me: look for the angle. Besides, I can't tell you where it is. I'd have to show you. It's a secret."

"We don't deal with criminals," King Frederic said.

The man shrugged and turned. He returned to his bunk, one knee propped on the other. "Hey, it ain't no skin off my nose. I'm not the one who needs something. You know where to find me. I'll just be sitting here."

"Fine," Rapunzel said. "I'll agree on a commuted sentence. If you lead us where we need to go."

He grinned. "Miss Princess, that's exactly what I intend to do. Name's Nash Le Roy, at your service." He stuck a hairy hand through the bars to shake.

Maximus glared into the cage and neighed loudly.

Nash shirked back. "And by the way, he's not allowed to come."

Neither Flynn nor the king and queen would let Rapunzel go, but Nash had dictated his terms clearly. And they kept coming back to the same conclusion--if this failed, they were at a dead-end.

Finally, they allowed Rapunzel to go if she was accompanied by a garrison of eight guards on horseback. As long as Elsa was coming, Flynn felt better. Nash made a big show of agreeing, saying how generous he was.

They all found horses and headed to the castle gates. Nash was given a slower, older horse, in case he decided to bolt. Ariel kept her trident hidden in a long rucksack. At the first sign of trouble, she was ready to yank it out and fire.

Rapunzel embraced Flynn before leaving. Maximus nickered. He nudged Flynn's back pocket.

"Oh, right." Flynn pulled out a white envelope. "This letter came for you just after you left, but no one knows who delivered it. And Maximus wouldn't let me open it."

Maximus snorted.

Rapunzel opened it up and pulled out a piece of paper.

"I don't get it," Rapunzel said.

Elsa gasped. "I got a mysterious letter too. Just after I left." She pulled the letter from the knapsack to show her.

Rapunzel took both in her hands. "They feel like the same paper. Do you think it could have something to do with our problems?"

"It proves we're all in this together," Ariel said. "I wonder if I have one at my castle. But what is it trying to say?"

"Hey!" Nash shouted. "Are you coming or what?"

Rapunzel kissed Flynn goodbye and the three of them galloped to the rest. Nash took the lead. The women followed in neat formation. Nine guards raced behind them, hooves pounding the ground.

They headed west, the direction of the sun. Fields for miles, the castle fading behind them. Grassland and prairie rolled over hills and became swampy forest. The stink of sulfurous algae and rotting, water-logged wood hit like a wall.

Nash pulled his reins at the edge of the boggy marsh. "This is where the trail starts. We'll have to go on foot from here."

"Your majesty, this can't be allowed," said the lead guard. "We lose advantage if we go off horseback."

"You want to get your animals stuck in the swamp? Be my guest," Nash mocked.

Rapunzel looked to Ariel and Elsa for suggestions, but they had none. She dismounted her horse and approached Carina, the lead guard.

"It'll be all right. Four of you should take the horses back. The rest will come with us."

"Our orders are an eight-man garrison to accompany you."

"I know. But four is still plenty."

"Ladies! Daylight's burning," Nash called.

Carina did as ordered. Four galloped back to the castle, with horses in tow. Rapunzel rejoined Elsa and Ariel at the mouth of the swamp. "Lead on."

Nash trudged through the water. His boots made horrific slurping sounds. Dirt and mud and sweat trickled into their mouths, mixing with the methane gas in the air. Trees and vines cast everything in shadow.

"Why is your home in a swamp?" Ariel asked.

"It's not in a swamp. This is how you get to it. There's a long history of my people here. We're what you call 'roamers'. Travelers of the world. Entertainers, merchants, fortune tellers. But the outside world doesn't think much of that. We have to stay outside the cities."

"You mean gypsies," Carina said. "Thieves and beggars, you lot are."

"That is a nasty stereotype."  

"Homeless rabble-rousers."

"Enough," Elsa said. "You're acting like children. The more we save our breath, the less we have to breathe in this horrible place. If we-" Looking back, she stopped. "Weren't there four of you?"

One was missing. They spent another five minutes yelling his name. No success.

"I don't like this," Carina said.

"If he was injured, he would have called out, I assume," Elsa said. "He likely got separated." The black trunks and rolling hills acted as fantastic hiders.

"We can't stop now," Nash said. "You should have hired smarter guards."

Rapunzel shushed him with a dirty look. Ariel batted her eyes, indicating the sun.

"If we spend too much time searching it'll get dark. Garrick, you go back and look for him," Rapunzel said. "The rest of us keep going. You can catch up afterwards."

Favrou nodded and bowed out. They continued on - two guards, three princesses, and one thief. Half an hour passed with no return of either. "Princess, I don't like this. We should stop going further until Favrou returns," Carina said. "Or go back to look for them."

"Too late now. It'll be dark before we leave," Nash said. "And I don't recommend spending the night somewhere you can't see the crocodiles."

Rapunzel's eyes twitched. She didn't like this either, wandering waist deep in stagnant air and decay, missing two people. But they couldn't stop.

"You two, go out and find them. Elsa, Ariel, and I will continue on," Rapunzel said.

"Your majesty, no. That is out of the question," Carina said.

"We don't have much choice. This is my problem in the first place."

"Our problem," Elsa corrected. "We'll be fine." She glared at Nash. "We are not the shrinking violets you think we are."

Nash held up his hands defensively. "Never said you were. Trust me. I got nothing to gain by misleading you. I don't want to go back to jail."

The two guards looked at each other. "If we don't return within ten minutes, I order you to apprehend the criminal and return to the castle. Er... your majesty."

"Fine."

The two remaining guards walked away, leaving the three of them against one thief. They still overpowered him, but he had no idea how.

Another half hour passed while they followed Nash, dirt and filth-covered. The guards did not return.  

"Um, does anyone else think it's weird that all our guards dropped off? One by one?" Ariel asked.

"Yeah, that is weird," Nash said.

Elsa said, "Nash, did you-"

"Oh, I see it. The tree marker! We're almost there. Just past this mud valley," Nash said.

They had to crawl across a bridge made of moss-covered branches and rotten deadfall. Orange sunlight filtered through the shadowy trees, so they believed Nash was telling the truth.

He pulled back a curtain of dead leaves and vines, unveiling a clearing with the smell of campfire. A welcome change from the stink of swamp rot.

Several caravans and tents lay distributed among the meadow. Men and women did washing and carried stick bundles. Cart-toting oxen drank from buckets while children chased each other among them.

Nash walked toward them, arms spread. "Gentlemen, I told you I'd return."

"Thought you'd never come back," said a dirt-covered man stirring a bowl of soup. "And with guests, no less."

The campers goggled at the newcomers, awestruck. Their beauty and dignity betrayed their origins, despite being caked in algae and mud. More Romani gathered, examining the girls with hungry eyes. Each had the lean look of nomads, but the colorful clothes of entertainers. The criminal had led them right to his home.

Elsa growled. "You sorry-"

An elder woman with black hair and crooked back pointed her finger at her. "It's the girl with the magic hair of gold. She was born with the magic of the golden flower."

"Her hair may look gold, but it's worth a million times more. She can patch up skin, heal wounds, restore youth," said another.

"Right. And we've got her..." Nash said.

Rapunzel swallowed.

Ariel and Elsa attempted to run back into the swamp. But the Romani had surrounded them. They grabbed each of their arms. "Hey, let go of me," Ariel said.

Nash put his hands on his hips. "What do you think's going to happen? You'll lose us in the swamp?"

"Maybe," Ariel said.

Nash laughed. "I was raised in that swamp. There's a dozen of our men hiding in the trees, turning intruders around. Your lost guards? Right about now, they're finding themselves back where they started. And not a clue why."

Elsa wiggled her fingers. How could she do this? Freeze their feet? Could she immobilize all of them before they whacked her unconscious? If she got the one holding her to release his grip, that might mean leaving the others behind.

Rapunzel saw the fierce look in Elsa's eyes. "Hold on, they haven't hurt anyone yet." She turned to Nash. "What do you want with us?"

"Well, them, I don't care. But you, we've got plans for." He nodded toward a windowless caravan in the middle of camp. It stood like an elder buffalo overseeing its herd. "Bring all three."

Rapunzel saw visions of shadows, closed doors, hours and days and months trapped in a single room. Tears streamed down her face. "No, please, no, not again."

They shoved Rapunzel in first. The pungent smell of incense and camphor wafted out. Dozens of candles burned within. Elsa and Ariel followed her.

Nash grabbed Rapunzel by the elbow. He pushed to the back where a bed lay. She landed on her knees and shut her eyes. Next would come the iron collar, the cuffs, the rope, whatever it would be.

"Granny? Granny, are you awake?"

Rapunzel opened her eyes. Someone lay in the bed under the pile of quilts. A sallow, sickly old woman, head so deep in the pillow, it covered her ears. Her cheekbones protruded through her blotchy skin, like a fresh corpse.

"Granny, look who I brought," Nash said.

Granny remained motionless.

"Remember? You told us about her? It's the girl. The magic princess with hair of gold. I brought her to you." Nash turned to the two gypsies behind him. "Get her hair."

They lifted Rapunzel's tresses in armfuls and stuffed it in the bed, wrapping the old woman like a mummy.

"She can make you strong again," Nash said while they worked. He scowled at Rapunzel. "Sing."

Rapunzel said nothing. Nash kicked her thigh with the side of his foot. "Sing!"

"No," she said. This was not going to start again.

"Do it. Or your friends die."

Rapunzel winced. She took a deep breath.

Granny bolted upright. "No!" she screeched.

Everyone shirked away. She hissed through a dropped jaw full of rotted gums as her glassy eyes scanned the room. "Do not."

"But Granny, we've got her. She's here. Right now. We can make you healthy and young again. Her hair-"

"I said no."

"But... if you die, what'll we do? The troupe-"

"It is my time." She reached up a hand, thin as a twig, and cradled Nash's head. "We all have a time. Death is nature's gift to us. To deny it is greed. Is to rob the young."

"But Granny..."

"Hush. A tale is passed down from our people. There was a woman. She had great beauty. Men fought for her glance. Suitors murdered each other. But beauty does not last forever. Is not meant to. The men stopped fighting for her. This she would not accept. She try to stop it, first with creams and herbs. Bathing in lemon juice. Bee stings. Fish eggs. Spend every coin on these tricks, she does. Each rarer and more expensive. She run from country to country, like a race against one's own shadow. Uprooted us all. She became a poison to our people. Then came the dark magics. This we could not allow. And our tribe exiled her. Banished. Nearly died out, we did. Because of her. Her endless, meaningless pursuit."

Rapunzel whispered. "Was her name... Mother Gothel?"