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gothpanda · 4 years ago

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A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 37: Vancouver

WORD COUNT: 5.1K

A/N: haha three ch in under a week? love that for me

TAGS: @madamsixx @nosebleedblitz

@emariehorror

WARNINGS: none

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February 5th, 1988

Tucson, Arizona

Nikki popped his bubblegum, resting his leg across his other to get comfortable in the dark green armchair. He waited patiently in the therapy office, looking out the wall-to-ceiling window to the Arizona desert. The sound of the door opening made Nikki's head turn, the on-edge feeling turning into a relaxed emotion.

"Sorry I'm late, Nikki. I had run into a colleague for a minute," said the Dr. grabbing his notebook from his desk.

"It's okay, Ortiz. Felt nice to think of what to say before we started," politely said Nikki, spitting his gum out onto a tissue.

"Good. It's always best to think before rambling during an appointment. Gets all the bases," said Dr. Ortiz, sitting down in front of Nikki. He clipped his pen and wrote down the date on his notes for Nikki. "So, how have we been feeling personally?"

"My mood has been good. I haven't tanked and felt depressed. It feels great to say that. I really haven't felt depressed since being here," said Nikki, scoffing at the fact of being healthy working out for him.

"Well done then. According to my notes here, you had a group therapy session a couple of days ago with a guest? Is that correct?" asked Dr. Ortiz. Nikki nodded. "And how was it seeing a familiar face for the first time since admitting yourself into rehab?"

"I was happy, then I was scared. Scared and happy at the same time. I don't know how anyone can have those feelings together, but I did," said Nikki, rubbing his hands together, Sammi's face popping in his head.

"Why were you scared?" asked Dr. Ortiz, ready to write down what Nikki was about to say.

"Sammi and I didn't leave on the greatest terms in California. When I saw her, I was scared of what she would say about being around me when I was doing heroin,"

"And how did you feel in the end after she expressed her feelings?"

"Sad… I really didn't realize how horrible Sammi felt about everything from the moment I started. It never crossed my mind the conversation we had when we broke up. I don't want to hurt her like that ever again," said Nikki, continuing to rub his hands together.

"While it may have been a terrible feeling to hear to her side of the abuse, it helps make you a better person living a sober life and get rid of the fear,"

"What if I'm still scared of being sober?" asked Nikki, looking down at his feet

"And what is it that you're scared of exactly?"

Nikki sighed, rubbing his hands on his pants. "What if I'm a terrible boyfriend to her being sober? That's what I'm scared about,"

Dr. Ortiz is taken aback but almost lets out a chuckle. "Why would you believe you'd make a terrible boyfriend? You seemed like a great man to her and only her. Even with your troubles from all of our sessions. So why worry when you'd be healthy?"

"Because I've never been with someone I love without some kind of 'help,'" said Nikki, blushing from saying the L-word. "I've always been under the influence even to a small extent with Sammi because I needed it. Without drugs I'm a timid man who wants to be with the smartest girl he ever met," sighed Nikki. "That's why I'm scared,"

Dr. Ortiz takes a second to think before speaking, ready to talk man to man. "Nikki, I'm not going to be speaking in a way of a therapist but how a normal married man would. If Sammi dealt and stuck around long enough when you had your shit, then what makes you think she's not going to love Sober Nikki?" asked Dr. Ortiz, narrowing his eyes at Nikki.

"But she blamed herself for me dying…"

"And that is when you act like a man and treat her like the queen she is to you. Understood?" Nikki only nodded. "Very good. It's going to be a learning curve but hiding isn't going to work out,"

June 3rd, 1988

San Francisco, California

Boxes upon boxes were scattered among the small place that was now Sammi's old apartment, ready to be filled with every single little thing she can take home. Sammi kneeled in front of one labeled 'photos' as Emma and Sabrina were graciously beside her, putting other things in different boxes. Sabrina organized all of Sammi's books while Emma took the time for her snack break.

"Thanks for the help you two, even if Emma's been eating the whole time," said Sammi, smiling over at Emma in the middle.

"Your kitchen is empty for your information thanks to me so you're welcome," said Emma with a mouth full of banana, Sabrina shaking her head playfully.

"Why thank you, Emma. Is it still hard to believe I'm finally done with school? No more having to deal with grades,"

"Tell me about it. I'm starting to miss it already and I'm only taking a year off," said Sabrina, reading the back of one book.

"Yeah yeah we get it. You two are done with college while my ass is still going to classes," said Emma, pouting.

"Awe you'll be fine," said Sabrina, pinching Emma's cheeks. "Just one more year and then you'll be free to your heart's content," The three girls chuckled along, Sammi continuing to pack her belongings on the living room floor.

"Hey Sam, I have a question," said Emma.

"Shoot,"

"Do you have any regrets moving over by yourself? I'm starting to think about what I wanna do when I graduate,"

"You're gonna leave me and move away?" asked Sabrina, raising an eyebrow.

"You're gonna leave us?" corrected Sammi.

Emma giggled at the two. "No, I'm not moving out just yet. I just want to know what it's like here since it's the 'gay mecca'. I have to be with the lesbians at some point," joked Emma.

Sammi stared into the distance for a moment, pursing her lips as she thought about the question, "Yeah I actually do. I wish I never moved here,"

"What? Why?" asked Emma, scrunching her brows together.

"Think about it. I didn't make any friends here. I only met rude and miserable people when I had the chance to make friends. All I have are bad memories. Me leaving didn't do any good back home with Nikki, leading to another fight with Vince. I should've just stayed in L.A,"

"Damn I never thought about it that way," said Sabrina.

"Me neither," added Emma.

"If I stayed then maybe I wouldn't have any awkward tension between Vince and now Nikki. Maybe we'd all be living under one roof. It's just something I think about," said Sammi, looking down at the scattered photos.

"Well hey, who needs friends when you have us," said Emma, swinging an arm around Sabrina to pull her into their side. Sammi only smiled at the two with a sweet chuckle before going back to finishing the last of the photos, taping the box shut.

"You do have multiple points. Speaking of which, how are the guys since getting out of rehab?" asked Sabrina.

"They are currently in Canada working on a new album, so that's always good. Tommy, Mick, and Vince left in April. I would say they're doing great since being out. Tommy was a big help going apartment hunting with me," said Sammi.

"What about Nik?" asked Emma.

Sammi sighed. "He went straight to Canada after being released. I haven't heard from him since that therapy session," said Sammi, lowering her eyes from Emma and Sabrina. They could see the change in Sammi's face. Even if she didn't say it loud, the girls knew Sammi missed Nikki.

"You should just go visit them," suggested Emma. "I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the biggest shock in the world to the guys,"

"Yeah but this isn't a tour date. They're working this time, and I don't want to be a nuisance,"

"You seriously don't think Heather or whoever is dating Vince doesn't barge in when they record back home?" asked Sabrina.

Sammi did shrug a shoulder in acknowledgment until something clicked in her head. "Wait I just remembered Mick said I could visit,"

"Then go!" shouted Emma and Sabrina in unison.

"Fine! Fine! I'll make some calls after we're home and I'm somewhat settled," said Sammi, standing up on her feet and walking to see what needed to be packed in parts of her bedroom.

June 14th, 1988

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

For being summer in Canada, the country proved to be the coldest place Sammi has ever visited, needing to wear her warmest leather jacket for the trip. She was quick to learn Vancouver was a calm city with still enough action going around. Sammi made a mental note to come back whenever L. A got too hot for her.

With the help of Doc setting Sammi up in Canada, it didn't take any time to find the recording studio Motley was working at. Sammi walked straight into the two-story building, hands in her pocket as she looked at the wooden interior. She stood right in the middle of the lobby where no one occupied the front desk, surprised by the quiet. The sound of steps walking down the stairs caused Sammi to turn on her heels, facing a young man with papers in his hand.

"Uh hey!" said Sammi, smiling politely at the young man.

"Hi… um who are you?" asked the skinny young man, walking down the last steps with hesitation.

"I'm Sammi, sorry to just pop in like this," said Sammi, extending out a hand.

"Like the name. I'm Kevin," said Kevin, shaking Sammi's hand. "What can I help you with?"

"Well I was wondering if Motley Crue was here right now. I'm Tommy's little sister," said Sammi, fixing the strap of her purse.

"Oh yeah they're upstairs with their producer right now. Did they know you were coming?" asked Kevin.

"No, I wanted to surprise them. It's been kind of boring back in California," smiled Sammi to hopefully let Kevin lead her to the boys.

"Well…" said Kevin, looking up the stairs and back at Sammi. "I know their producer Bob might not like you being here but I do know you're pretty special to the guys,"

"Yeah, the guys and I are pretty tight,"

"Alright then come with me," said Kevin, leading Sammi up the stairs. Kevin led Sammi through a spacious long hallway, knocking on the second door to their right. He peeked his head inside once, opening the door slightly. "Um, sir, the boys have a visitor,"

"I said no visitors. These four don't need any female distractions," said Bob in a deep and intimidating voice. Sammi almost regretted surprising the boys if they had this man working with them.

"It's Tommy's sister Sammi, sir,"

"Sammi!" yelled Tommy, Sammi hearing his steps rush out the door. Tommy swung the door open and, in one quick movement, engulfed Sammi in a tight hug, lifting her up in the air. "I've missed you!"

"It's only been 2 months!" giggled Sammi.

"I don't care, I miss you!" said Tommy, placing Sammi down on her feet. Before Sammi could say anything, she soon noticed Nikki right behind Tommy, almost in hiding. Nikki sheepishly had his hand in the back of his jean pockets and a slight smile on his lips.

"Hey, Sammi," uttered Nikki, stepping closer to Sammi. Sammi couldn't keep her eyes off Nikki, first noting every single new thing about the man. He had more tattoos all down his arm of what appeared to be Japanese artwork. It complimented his now bigger biceps and toned body, seeing Nikki's pecs through his shirt. Tommy could see the shock and plan to gawk on Sammi's face, finding it downright humorous.

When Nikki stood right in front of Sammi, Sammi blinked rapidly and cracked a smirk. "Wow. You look…" lingered Sammi.

"Different?" blushed Nikki.

"I was going to say great. You look great with your new look," smiled Sammi, finally one take forward and hugging Nikki like normal. Nikki didn't question anything, wrapping his strong arms tightly around Sammi. She could feel the difference in strength right away.

"Come on, let's not be greedy," said Tommy, grasping Sammi's shoulder and leading her into the recording room.

Without Sammi facing the terror twins, Tommy flashed a smirk to Nikki as if the adults were back to being teenagers in high school. Mick was the first to welcome Sammi in, heading straight for a hug and a pat on her head.

"Ain't this a surprise, Little girl," said Mick.

"You're the one who told me to come," smiled Sammi, causing Mick to shrug his shoulder.

Mick was almost pleased with himself. "Didn't think you'd take the bait," chuckled Mick. Mick looking healthy was Sammi's first thought, causing the smile to stick on her lips.

"Hey Sammi," said Vince, going straight for a hug that was gladly returned. "Finally we can have some fun around here,"

Right as Sammi was close to responding when the sight of Bob caused her to shut her mouth. Bob was a big tall man whose voice matched everything about him physically. He towered over Sammi, glaring down at her with an intense stare. Sammi took a few steps back, almost hiding right behind Nikki.

"Am I really that scary?" asked Bob, breaking into a smile.

"Do you want an honest answer?" asked Sammi, staying beside Nikki. Nikki crossed his arms, puffing his chest to seem as if he was protecting Sammi. Bob nodded. "You're more than a foot taller than me and built like a football player. You are scary to me!" said Sammi. Everyone burst into laughter, any tension dissipating.

"Well I am not a mean person. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sammi. You just came at the right second, the boys are on a break," said Bob.

"I really hope I'm not imposing. I can just go back to my hotel and wait,"

"No!" said Motley in unison.

"Sammi trust us, we need you for a bit," said Nikki, squeezing Sammi's shoulder gently.

"You can stay for the rest of the session if you like, Sammi. I'm serious. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the offices. We'll start recording vocals in 20," said Bob, walking out, having Kevin follow him right behind. Sammi let out a sigh of relief, happy to not bother anyone who was working with Motley.

"See, Sam, you're welcome wherever you go," said Tommy pulling out a chair for Sammi that she accepted.

"I guess I am. But enough about me, how's the album going?" excitedly asking Sammi, smiling with bright eyes at the guys.

As the guys all settled back into their seats, Mick whipped out a piece of paper of every song for their new album, all in Nikki's handwriting. Sammi took the form for closer examination, reading off every circled name of a song.

"Okay so we have 'Dr. Feelgood'. That one sounds cool. 'Slice of Your Pie', I wonder what that one's about," said Sammi, glaring at all the guys with a smirk.

"Get your mind out of the gut, Samantha," teased Vince.

"Rattlesnake Shake. That one also sounds cool. Kickstart My Heart. That has to be about Nikki. Without you?" stopped Sammi, scrunching her brows together. She looked up at Motley, trying to read all their faces. Vince and Tommy shifted their eyes to each other, looking at Nikki and Mick. Nikki bounced his leg a bit more than usual. "What's 'Without You' about?" asked Sammi. Nikki and Tommy glanced at each other, waiting for one of the two to speak.

"It's a song about Heather and I. You know how record labels are about having love songs on albums," said Tommy, putting on a somewhat convincing smile.

"Oh so you wrote a song!" exclaimed Sammi. "That's awesome. Did you help him, Nikki?" Nikki shook his head. "Well can I hear it? Especially if you wrote it Tommy,"

"It's not done yet, Sam. We still need the instruments on some parts," said Vince, Nikki thanking him in his mind. "Anyway! How many days are you staying in Vancouver?" asked Vince.

"I'm only staying for 2 days. I just wanted to make sure you four were still good and running," said Sammi.

"Awe come on Sammi, you don't have to worry about us. We're adults who have now figured out life. Kind of," said Vince with a proud smug smile.

"Vince is right and we can prove it to you," said Nikki.

"Oh really? How so?" asked Sammi, raising a brow with a smirk to Nikki.

"How about you come out to our rental tonight. We can all make dinner together and catch up especially since I haven't seen you in months," said Nikki, matching Sammi's smirk.

"And whose fault is that, Nikki?" asked Tommy, chuckling at the glare he received. Sammi snickered but hid her smile behind her hands as Nikki faced her again.

"That sounds like a great idea, Nik. I would love that," smiled Sammi. It was like they were in their own little world again, where Nikki only knew Sammi. Vince didn't feel the massive sting of jealousy as before, only by a quarter of the feeling. Nevertheless, he had to admit it was nice to see Sammi happy as well as Nikki.

"I can pick you up from your hotel, Sam. Our place is basically in the middle of nowhere. It's by a small lake!" said Tommy.

"Well isn't that cute. I hope you four are ready for my cooking," teased Sammi, standing up from her seat as she noticed Bob about to walk into the room again. It was time to somewhat finish what the boys started, more vocals on Vince's behalf. Sammi just sat on the loveseat right behind Nikki with a happy smile on her face.

"Okay!" Bob clapped. "Let's get back to work!"

Sammi shouldn't have been surprised when she first laid eyes on Motley's rental house that appeared to be a country log cabin. It subtly screamed Nikki and his Idaho roots. A beautiful two-story log cabin in the middle of the green forest with a lake within walking distance. It was a fantastic little escape for the guys after a long day at the studio, calling this home for who knows how long. In the open space kitchen, Sammi and Tommy served the five plates ready for Sammi's food. Nikki set up the dining table with forks and knives, placing the guys' drink of choice. Without asking her, Nikki popped open a bottle of Sammi's favorite red wine and poured a glass for her. It didn't take much energy for Nikki to completely ignore the alcoholic drink. Vince and Tommy set the plates of food on top of each placemat while Mick put the garlic bread basket right in the middle. Everything smelled amazing.

"Okay! Are we all ready to eat?" asked Sammi, walking into the dining room, seeing Motley sat down like well-behaved children with Tommy leaving a spot right next to him. "I'll take that as a yes," Sammi said, sitting beside her brother.

It was a comfortable silence that filled the room. Only the sound being made was of forks hitting the plates that felt like music to Sammi's ears. Silent people eating was a compliment for Sammi.

"I forgot how great your cooking is, Sammi," said Vince, finally taking a breather as he sipped on his glass of water.

"It's just spaghetti with meatballs," snickered Sammi, looking over Tommy to see Vince.

"Yes but we are used to frozen meatballs and pregos spaghetti sauce," said Mick, mouth almost full of food.

Sammi shook her head, taking another bite of a meatball. She glanced over at Nikki right in front of her, smiling at how he ate in silence. "Nikki seems to love my food. His head has been down his plate the entire time." teased Sammi. Nikki only flipped Sammi off in a matter she knew was playful. Sammi notices her glass of wine, looking around the guys. She smelled it and took a sip, happy to know it's her favorite. "Did you pour me some wine, Tommy?" Tommy shook his head.

"I did," said Nikki. "I thought you would enjoy a nice glass of wine,"

"But-"

"Sam, you don't have to quit drinking just because we did," said Mick, patting Nikki on the back. Sammi didn't say anything else, taking another sip of her wine.

"So, Samantha, a little birdie told me you got your pharmacy license. How does it feel being a full time grown up?" asked Nikki, relaxing in his chair.

"I'm so happy I passed, I did not want to react that stupid exam. Now it's just interviews back in L.A," said Sammi.

"Finally settled in at your new place?" asked Tommy, finishing the last of his food.

"Yeah I just need to figure out what to put in the second room. I only have my San Francisco sofa,"

"I'm surprised you kept anything from that tiny place," said Vince. "This might sound so stupid but does a pharmist apply? All I can think of is Walgreens,"

"I am mainly aiming at the hospitals now that most have their own private pharmacy," answered Sammi, finishing the last drop of wine. "Oh! I almost forgot! I finally bought a new car! It's a mustang,"

"Hallelujah! She finally listened!" said Nikki, dropping his head back to pretend he was looking at God.

Sammi smirked and flipped him off. "Great to know you didn't leave your sarcasm at rehab,"

"Oh, I love family dinners!" exclaimed Tommy, being the first of a domino effect to rise from his seat to take his dirty plate to the kitchen. Mick and Vince soon left, leaving Nikki and Sammi alone. They stayed in silence, Sammi scratching her neck as she looked away from Nikki. Nikki kept his eyes on Sammi.

"Do you wanna go for a walk outside? I can show you the lake," asked Nikki. Sammi only nodded.

As Nikki and Sammi walked beside the stream, they still kept a fair distance between themselves, keeping a guard up. Compared to how they were only a moment ago, they couldn't speak to each other the same way in privacy. One of them had to break the wall first, but they didn't know who it would be or what they would say first.

"I'm sorry," said Sammi.

Nikki halted, scrunching his brows in deep 11's at Sammi. "What? You're sorry? For what?"

Sammi sat down on the dry grass, inching close to dip her finger in the cold lake water; Nikki sat beside her. "I started to think after the therapy session about how we started, and I realized I wasn't nice. It wasn't ideal to how a couple should start,"

"Sammi-"

"Just hear me out, please," said Sammi, biting her lip as she stared out into the water. "When I got with Vince I knew you had feelings for me, but I didn't do anything about it. I just ditched you and you have to admit that must've hurt, Nikki. Even if we got together in the end,"

Nikki sighed out, pulling out pieces of grass under his feet. "Yeah it did,"

"I should've never gotten with Vince right after we had sex for the first time, and I'm sorry I would go to you when Vince pissed me off, I shouldn't have done that either. I knew how much you cared about me and I still listened to Athena & Tommy. I should've just chosen for myself," said Sammi, finally looking at Nikki.

"Would you have gotten with Vince even if your siblings weren't in your ear?" asked Nikki.

"No… but I think I needed it. I needed that little heartbreak to learn," said Sammi.

"Thank you. I appreciate it, Sammi. I really do," said Nikki with a smile. Sammi sighed out, feeling the weight leave her shoulders.

"Also I'm so fucking sorry I called you by that name. I was just-"

"Sammi, again, I appreciate it," chuckled Nikki. Silence soon filled between them again.

"Hey, have you happened to have any 'demons' hit you up?" asked Sammi.

Nikki dryly chuckled. "If you mean my past drug buddies, only one. Veronica called me when I was in rehab,"

"Oh," said Sammi in straight monotone.

"Don't worry, she finally got the idea we're not getting married,"

"Hope she returned that fucking ring. What did she want?" asked Sammi.

Nikki smiled at Sammi, finding her jealousy amusing. "She said she almost overdosed a week before calling me, only to have her call me high off her ass. So I just wished her well and hung up. I couldn't handle that,"

"You sadly can't fix them all I guess," said Sammi sadly.

"I'm scared, Sam. I'm scared to go back to L.A," blurted out Nikki.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not the same Nikki that left. I know I'm going to lose friends but what if I get home and find out I really had no one this whole time?" asked Nikki, looking down at the grass. "Then what do I do?"

Sammi swallowed away her nerves, inching closer to Nikki as she laid a gentle hand on his bicep. "Hey, look at me," said Sammi. Nikki turned, eye dilating from how close to Sammi for the first time. "You have people now who truly care about you and you alone. I can already see a better relationship between you and the guys," Sammi soon grew hesitant, looking away from Nikki for a second. "And you have me. That's all you need right now after finally getting better. Remember that," said Sammi, squeezing Nikki's arm.

It took all of Nikki's strength to not lean in and kiss Sammi but be a miracle he managed. "Thank you, Sammi. I appreciate it," said Nikki. Sammi rested on her knees and hugged Nikki the best way they could. Nikki leaned into her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

June 15th, 1988

A knock on the hard hotel door almost scares Sammi, jumping off her bed and softly tiptoeing to look through the peephole. When seeing Nikki appear anxious in the hallway, she swung the door open with worry.

"Nikki, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are the guys okay?" asked Sammi in one breath, lightly placing a hand on his chest. Nikki shook his head, walking right into the single bed hotel room.

"I, um, I just really needed to give you something before you go tomorrow," said Nikki, rubbing his fingers together in a nervous habit.

Sammi eyed Nikki, not downplaying scanning him from head to toe. "Okay but just know you're scaring me," said Sammi, sitting at the foot of the bed. Nikki stood right in front of Sammi, pulling out a cassette tape from his jean pocket. He gave it one last look before handing it to Sammi, not looking her in the eye. As Sammi took the cassette, she quickly noticed "Without You" written by Nikki on the front, scrunching her brows together.

"You can play this right when I leave," said Nikki, ready to walk right out of the room. Instead, Sammi took to hold onto his wrist.

"What the hell is going on? Why're you giving me the song Tommy wrote?" asked Sammi.

Nikki sighed. "Tommy didn't write it. I did. It's finally a love song I wrote that isn't disguised… and that's about us,"

"You wrote me a love song?" smiled Sammi. Nikki nodded with a blush on his cheeks. Sammi couldn't help it any longer, standing on the tips of toes, cradling Nikki's face as she leaned in for that kiss. A kiss so soft and kind, Nikki felt his heart burst out of his chest, afraid to kiss again.

"Thank you," whispered Sammi, a smile still on her lips. Nikki scoffed, matching a smile. "But I need to listen to this right now," Sammi said, darting straight to the radio on the desk table. Nikki didn't protest, only groaned as he dropped himself on the bed, hiding under a pillow. The song in its entirety was touching but more so for Sammi, paying deep attention to every lyric. Sammi took the cassette out when it finished, looking over at Nikki's body thrown on the bed. She stretched herself on the bed, taking the pillow off Nikki's face to see his deep red flush.

"I love you," said Sammi. Nikki looked up in shock at Sammi, lips parting as if he wanted to say something. But all he caught was another kiss from Sammi with more passion. The two fell almost into the same old routine, Nikki's hand caressing Sammi's hair, Sammi's hand on Nikki's clothed chest. As Sammi started to lower her hands, the feeling of excitement turned into anxiety for Nikki in a blink of an eye.

"Sammi," whispered Nikki, placing his hands on her shoulders, giving the distance between them.

"What's wrong?" asked Sammi. Nikki slowly sat up, wiping the sweat off his hands. He took a few deep breaths, not able to look in Sammi's direction. "Are you okay, Nikki?"

"Remember when I told you I was scared?" asked Nikki. Sammi nodded. "Being with you like this was in that same word," said Nikki, meeting Sammi's worried eyes. "I-I've never been sober and doing this… with you,"

"Not even a little sober?" asked Sammi.

"When I say I was dependent, I really mean it. I needed a bit of something to bring me nerves down,"

"Guess your shyness didn't go away either," joked Sammi, rubbing her finger softly on Nikki's cheek. "Nikki, I'm not going to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do,"

"And trust me I do. It's just what if I'm bad at everything I thought I was good at between us?"

"I don't think it works like that, sweetheart. But I still don't want you to feel pressured to sleep with me. We can just cuddle and fall asleep. It'll be okay," reassured Sammi.

Nikki smiled lovingly at Sammi, leaning in to kiss her softly. "I love you, Sammi Lee. I really do," whispered Nikki.

Sammi's cheeks flushed. "And I love you, Nikki Sixx," whispered Sammi, leaning her head on Nikki's shoulder.

"Come on, you have a flight in the morning," said Nikki, playfully pushing Samami down on the bed. As Nikki stood at the bed's foot to strip down to his boxers, Sammi got under the soft white covers. The two fell back into the routine of late-night tv and cuddles. Nikki having his arm securely around Sammi with her head laid on his bare chest. The feeling of calm security quickly engulfed the two after a long marathon of danger. It was perfect.

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aer-in-wanderland · 4 years ago

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구미호뎐 | 이동욱 Lee Dong Wook VLIVE 2020.11.18 - *VS* Game

In which Lee Dong Wook’s promotional team present him with ridiculous Tale of the Nine Tailed-themed questions to answer (and the occasional embarrassing line to perform). Full transcription below the cut.

Full Transcript [0:37:41~1:08:30]

Intro

Then, now in earnest we’ll... (breaks down laughing at himself). Don’t I talk a lot? Right? I mean, every week they release a behind the scenes video, right? And in all of them it’s just me talking the whole time. Of course, I really sort of joked around a bit on set. Well, not a bit. I joked around a ton on set, with the staff and the with the other actors, I did have fun playing around a lot and I did that but...I mean I was just talking so much, all by myself [in the BTS]. It was to the extent that I thought, ‘Hey, what’s with this? Is that why I was so exhausted?’ (chuckles). Yes (chuckles more). I’m a chatterbox, a chatterbox, a chatterbox.

Well, in any case, we’ve now had free talk for about 40 minutes (chuckling at himself), so now we’ll start the first activity prepared for me by my promotional team in earnest.

[Looking to his staff] What might the first activity be? [Staff shoves a box full of folded slips of paper towards him silently]. (Breaks into laughter) [To the staff] Well what is this? [*silence*] (Bursts into a fit of laughter watching the staff) No, it’s not that, it’s just, will you die if you talk here? No, everyone, it’s fine if you talk. Everyone, promotional team...

[To the viewers again] Right now there are five members of my promotional team in front of me, six including my manager, but they won’t say a single word (laughing), like people who will die if they speak. [To his staff] I just have to pick one? Ah, if I pick one I’ll naturally understand? Understood. Then I’ll, (more laughter). In that case, I’ll pi- (bursts into another fit of laugher). Understood. Then I’ll pick one.

[Selects a paper] Okay! I picked one. They’re telling me that if I pick one I’ll naturally come to understand, so I picked one. [Holding the paper up] I see, it’s a VS game.

Q: Who is the strongest whiner? [0:39:48~]

A. Sajang who is whining to give him the Chinese lantern plant - VS - B. Yoo Ri who is whining to save Lee Rang-nim

(Laughing) [To his staff] Yah~ the question is really cute. Did you all prepare this? Oh, I see. This is cute.

[Re-reads the question] I think, in any case, for this one, I can’t help but think that Sajang who is whining to give him the Chinese lantern plant is the strongest whiner. I mean, as a human being, if you’ve lived for hundreds of years isn’t it enough already? While torturing people, while eating the Chinese lantern plant, do you really have to cling to life? I can’t help but think that... (trails off)

⇒ A

Ah, and Eom Hyo Seob-sunbae who plays Sajang acted together with me in Life [2018], so when I met him again this time I was happy to see him. In Life he was the head of the Cancer Center, and I was a fellow in the Emergency Medical Center, so on set I used to call him ‘Mr. Cancer Center Chief’ (laughing). I would be like, ‘Mr. Cancer Center Chief, you’re here!’ like that. Well, in any case, there was that behind the scenes, a very slight, a very slight TMI.

[Note: Sa-jang-nim is actually just his job title meaning ‘head of a company’ while ‘Am-center-jang-nim’ means ‘head of the Cancer Center.’ LDW was basically using his title from Life instead of his title in TotNT.]

(Clears his throat) Okay then I’ll pick the next one. [Pulls another slip] I’ve picked it. [Spends a second debating where to place the box of questions]. I’ve picked one.

Q: Which scene was the most moving to Lee Yeon? [0:41:33~]

A. The scene where he saved Ji Ah after he returned in a near-death state from the Knife Mountain Hell - VS - B. The scene where he went to save Lee Rang who stood on death’s door in the Forest of the Starved

Yah, but for this one, isn’t the question framed wrong? In this case, these kids were the ones who were moved by me, weren’t they? (Laughs)

[Looking at his staff] No? Oh, talk! Please just talk! (Dies laughing)

[Looks back at the viewers] For this, I would have to ask these two though? I’d have to ask these two, for this one, I think that rather than Lee Yeon being moved, these were scenes where these two were probably moved by Lee Yeon. But in any case, the ending to episode 4 here and the ending of episode [8] where I go to save Rang-ie, they’re both meaningful. They’re iconic scenes that you can’t miss in our drama, they’re precious scenes, so I like both of them.

⇒ x

[Noting the heart count in the VLIVE app]

[Reading the live chat] I’m not going to call them. Those two are both busy people who each have their own lives so for me to suddenly call them would be an irresponsible thing to do. For today’s VLIVE, please just be satisfied watching me. I’m not going to call Kim Beom-ssi or Jo Bo Ah-ssi.

Then, moving on to the next question...

Q: If you had to have one as a morning desert, would you choose: [0:43:28~]

A. Meal worms that taste like mint chocolate ice cream - VS - B. Mint chocolate ice cream that tastes like meal worms

If you had to have one as a morning desert, would you choose: ‘meal worms that taste like mint chocolate ice cream’ ‘aish~ (laughing). [Knocks over the white board and fixes it] Okay, ‘mint chocolate flavored meal worms’ or, ‘meal worm flavored mint chocolate ice cream’? (chuckling - 3rd gif).

[To his staff] Who’s ever tried eating meal worms? What do they even taste like, meal worms?

Ah what’s with this~ How am I supposed to choose one of these? (Ponders the question for a bit) So I’ll choose B. Meal worm-flavored mint chocolate ice cream. (Sighs) Don’t you think it would at least be better to be eating ice cream? Rather than eating insects that taste like mint chocolate, I’ll eat ice cream. (Shaking his head) Ah~ that’s hard.

⇒ B

[Reading the live chat] Oh, it tastes nutty? Eh? You tried eating it? You’re saying you tried eating meal worms when you were seven? Who would try eating meal worms? There’s a lot of interesting people...

[Selecting another paper] Okay, next.

Q: If you had to dispose of one of your abilities which would you choose? [0:45:25~]

A. The ability to control nature - VS - B. The teleportation ability to move anywhere in an instant

Wah~ You can’t miss out on either of them though? Ah~ There’s nothing more appealing than the ability to teleport. Everyone, please think about it. How much time each day do we loose on the road? On our way to school, on our way to work, getting off work, going to cram school. If you save that time, you can get that much more sleep, right? That’s a really big [merit]. And think about it. When coronavirus ends and you can travel abroad again. Then you can use teleportation to go abroad instantly. You don’t have to spend like 14 hours on a plane.

The ability to control nature, how cool is this? This is really something that not just anybody can do. (Sighs while pondering the question again) Even so, if I had to give up one of them...I would give up my ability to teleport. I would use my ability to control nature and like...make it rain when there’s a drought, or make the rain stop when it rains too much, make the wind blow where there’s need of wind, that’s how I’d like to use my power. That’s what I’d do, yes.

⇒ B

[Talking to his staff] Oh~ you guys really did a good job coming up with difficult and weird questions. Really, the promotional team’s performance right now is really beyond my expectations. [Looking at a member of his staff] (chuckles) You really don’t ever smile, do you? (Laughing) Okay, continuing on, then...

Mission: “Don’t fly away. Your puppy will cry.” [0:47:15~]

‘Don’t fly away, your puppy will cry.’ [Looks to his staff] What’s this? You’re telling me to do this? (Looks at the paper for a while) You’re telling me to do this? Ah, this one’s a mission? So there’s not just VS questions, huh?

[To the viewers] Today, before doing the VLIVE, they told me about this corner and asked if I wanted to see the game ahead of time, and I said ‘I won’t. It’ll be more fun if I’m seeing it for the first time,’ but now I’m wishing I’d looked at it in advance. (Looks at the paper and sighs)

[To his staff] I have to do this like in the drama, don’t I? Is that right? (Laughs hollowly and puts his head down on the table) Ah~ I’m going crazy, seriously... (Puts his hands up to his face like in the drama but then can’t handle it and puts his head down on the desk again) ‘Aish~

[Softly to his staff] Everyone get out. Everyone go out. I want to be by myself.

“Don’t fly away, your puppy will cry~” (Performs the line but then can’t take his hands away from his face in embarrassment. Takes a long moment to collect himself)

(Sits up with his eyes closed) [Staff start clapping] Everyone get out. Leave before I open my eyes. I want to be by myself. If I open my eyes I think I’ll be really embarrassed so leave. (Waits a minute before opening his eyes, sighs, and then turns and calls to his staff). Team Manager, is there any soju? (chuckles) Okay, I understand.

[To the viewers] Ah, the promotional team really went and prepared a lot of things that I didn’t even imagine. Thanks a lot [said very formally but also without any sincerity whatsoever lol].

Q: If you were to be born again as a human, would you prefer to be: [0:49:25~]

A. A rich unemployed person - VS - B. A civil servant guaranteed employment until retirement

Of course it’s unconditionally A, right! There’s no need to even think this one over. Ah! (covers his mouth) Actually there are a lot of students watching right now. Everyone, you still need to study hard. We can’t be unemployed, right?

But I’m going with a rich unemployed person. OK.

⇒ A

Okay, next. [To his staff] I have to do all of these, right? (Answering his own question) Well, because I have to pay respect to the work you put into preparing them...hmmm [To his staff] Team Manager, that soju, can you put it into a water bottle and just... (laughs) Ah, it’s hot~

(Opens the next slip of paper and yells in chagrin) Ah, this!

Q: A never-ending battle? [0:50:12~]

A. Amazing Saturday - VS - B. Yoo Quiz

[Note: This question requires context so bear with me or skip to the next one. ;)

As part of the promotional rounds for TotNT, Lee Dong Wook, Jo Bo Ah, and Kim Beom appeared on Ep.128 of the quiz show, Amazing Saturday. There, they made a bet with the regular cast surrounding one of the quiz answers where whoever lost the bet would have to give a shout out to the other program (so if the TotNT cast won, the Amazing Saturday cast would have to promote the drama on their other variety shows, and if the AS cast won, the TotNT cast would have to reference AS in TotNT). They lost, and Lee Dong Wook promised he would reference AS at some point in an adlib. (This whole segment was actually really great because everyone figured it would be impossible and LDW was just like, ‘Call! I accept the challenge. I can do that.’ You can watch it here from about 5:50~)

LDW upheld his promise in EP05 when Yeon and Ji Ah go drinking and they compare the things they like. When LDW threw out the question he asked, ‘Yoo Quiz (another program that a close friend of his appears on) or Amazing Saturday?’ So then he felt apologetic towards Yoo Quiz and ended up sending them a coffee truck when Gong Yoo (Goblin, 2016) appeared as a guest on the program about a week or so before this VLIVE took place....so even though he’d finally managed to sort everything out, his staff are basically inciting him by asking him to choose again lol]

[Takes a moment before addressing the viewers] Just when I had finally finished all my reparations...(Nodding to himself) Just when I had finished all my reparations another wave is going to happen. (Looks at the paper for a long time) I’d like to appear on both programs sometime. If Amazing Saturday would invite me again, and Yoo Quiz please invite me sometime. I’ll just leave it at that. (Sighs) It’s hard, it’s hard.

⇒ x

[Takes a moment to drink some water and reiterate the things he wrote on his white board]

[Reading the live chat] Ah, it’s water, it’s water! It’s not soju, it’s not soju. This has been here since earlier. Everyone don’t misunderstand, that’ll be a big problem. There’s no way I’d do a live broadcast while drinking alcohol. Bad things would happen. No, please don’t misunderstand.

[Reading the live chat] It’s water, it’s water, yes. Please don’t misunderstand.

[Gives a shout out to the overseas fans and thanks them for the coffee trucks and gifts]

[Reading the live chat] My alcohol tolerance? My alcohol tolerance differs from day to day, but I never drink so much that I’m completely drunk or lose control of myself. I only ever drink enough that I’m still in good possession of myself and able and get home safely.

Then, continuing on. There are... (counts them) six left. There are six left, so I’ll continue...

[Suddenly thinks of something and looks to his staff] Are there more missions in here? You’re not going to tell me, are you? In any case. Alright. (To himself) How can I avoid picking those? Well, I have to do them all anyway...

(Opens the next one, reads it, and chuckles) [To his staff] You guys are crazy, seriously...

Q: If they were both drowning, who would you save first? [0:53:24~]

A. Ji Ah - VS - B. Shin Joo

If they fell in the water, if they fell in the water....Ah~ So this is how Shin Joo felt yesterday, this is how he felt. Yah~ ‘If they were both drowning, who would you save first, Ji Ah or Shin Joo?’ Ah~ I understand our actor Hwang Hee’s feelings. I understand Shin Joo’s feelings (sighs, then remembers something and chuckles).

[Note: This question is a reference to an exchange on Instagram. In preparation for an interview with Esquire, Hwang Hee posted on his Instagram inviting people to ask him TotNT-related questions. So Lee Dong Wook (who doesn’t run his own Instagram and isn’t on social media) texted a bunch of questions to Kim Beom and Jo Bo Ah to ask in his place. One question that he had Jo Bo Ah ask was, ‘If Lee Yeon and Yoo Ri were both drowning, who would you save?’ to which Hwang Hee responded, ‘That water, I will drink it all.’ lol]

[Looking directly at the camera] ‘That water, I will drink it all.’ (breaks into laughter) I’ll drink all of the water...Even if my water consumption goes badly I’ll do my best to save both of them.

[Reading the live chat] Ah, that’s right! I’m a mountain god so I can just make the wind blow like this and just part the water, I just need to do that. Why didn’t I think of that? As expected, the fans who are posting comments here are much smarter than me. Thank you.

That’s right. I was a mountain god. But I completely forgot that...

⇒ x

I’m not a really fast swimmer or anything but I’m still decent and I like playing in the water. I mentioned Life briefly earlier as well, but while shooting Life, free... (catches sight of something and starts laughing)

[Holds up a slip of paper with the words ‘Are you angry?’ written on it - lol] I’ve just received this message from my promotional team. No, not at all, what are you saying? I’m not mad. I’m not mad, and we can talk about more detailed things after the broadcast is over.

[Turns back to the viewers] When I was shooting Life, I learned free diving. I’d dive into about 10m deep water, so I don’t have any big rejection (fear) of water. But the ocean is different. Because the ocean has waves and undertow, you really need to be careful.

[Reading the live chat] I can’t do the butterfly stroke. The butterfly stroke is diffic- [Catches sight of the next prompt card and stops speaking mid-sentence. Drops the paper, sits back, and sighs lol]

(Holding the paper up reluctantly for the viewers to see)

Mission: “Part this darkness and lead me to that woman!” [0:55:32~]

(Long sigh)

[To his staff] How did you manage to pick all the most...these sort of lines, everyone?

(Reads the line out and laughs) You really went and picked just these kinds of lines one after another....I’ll do it standing, I’ll do it standing. Since I’m doing it anyway, I’ll do it standing.

(Spreads his arms wide and delivers the line like in the drama, then slowly sinks to the floor and makes like he’s going to crawl under the desk)

(Returns to his seat as one staff member starts clapping) [Looking at the person] Don’t clap. That’s more cheeky, don’t clap. Yah, if you’re going to clap you should all have clapped, what’s with just one person clapping? (laughs) Agh~

Even so, since today the broadcast was cancelled, even if I’m a bit...embarrassed or whatever, if you can enjoy yourselves, I’m satisfied with that. Yes. (Sighs again) This is definitely going around the internet as gifs, isn’t it? [Lol it definitely did] Yes, well, but in service of alleviating your disappointment at the broadcast being cancelled, I can handle this much. (Nods to himself) Okay, then continuing on...

Q: If you had to wear the same outfit and hairstyle for the rest of your life, would you choose: [0:58:02~]

A. The clothing of a mountain god + dark hair styled with pomade - VS - B. A suit + red and silver long hair

(Already laughing as he reads the question - gifs 1&2). Hey, this is essentially that right? Either the clothes are the mountain god clothes and the hair is dark and combed back with pomade in a modern style, or wear a suit with the mountain god hair, right?

[Directing the question to the live chat] Everyone please choose. Which do you think would suit me? What do you think would suit me, everyone please choose for me. Please send me your choice via the chat. I’ll choose whatever you choose.

Ah, this is really, the balance on this is really no joke. Wah~ This is really hard. Wah~ I mean, wearing a suit with that mountain god hair (breaks down laughing) Ah, how could you live your life like that? (more laughter) Ah, okay, I know. I know that this isn’t for real. And I know that there’s no way it could happen, too. But why do I end up taking it so seriously? Because I can’t help but keep picturing it (laughs).

[Checks the live chat] Oh? There are a ton of B’s? There are way more B’s than A’s? I see. I understand. In that case, if it ever became like this, if I could only wear one outfit and have one hairstyle for the rest of my life, I would have the suit and the mountain god (breaks into laughter before finishing his sentence) I’ll have the mountain god hair. Yah~ this one...the balance was good. Ah~ of all the questions in this VS game so far I think maybe the balance on this was the best.

⇒ B

Okay, then continuing on...Everyone, there are still 3 questions left. I have to do three more questions.

[Takes a water break]

Then I will continue with the game.

Q: Which term of affection would you prefer to hear from Ji Ah? [1:00:55~]

A. OPPA - VS - B. My puppy

‘What term of affection would you want to hear from Ji Ah? O-P-P-A, VS, my puppy.’ [He literally spells out the word in English here instead of just saying oppa lol]

Hm~ Hm~ [Takes a break to check the chat and reiterates that he’s drinking water and not soju] Please stop chatting that it’s soju. I’m going to get in trouble with Naver. That’d be bad, really bad. It’s water, don’t misunderstand.

[Returning to the prompt] ‘What term of affection would you want to hear from Ji Ah? O-P-P-A, VS, my puppy.’ Within the drama, Ji Ah has never once called me oppa, right? From the very beginning, she just uses banmal (chuckles) And from the very beginning she says ‘I waited for you (neo)’, right? [Note: ‘neo’ can be a bit rude, or at the very least isn’t polite]. So I think if she called me oppa it would be really awkward. I think, I just want Ji Ah to dote on me. So I’ll pick ‘my puppy.’ Because foxes are canines too.

⇒ B

Q: What makes you more angry? [1:02:15~]

A. When Imoogi fixates on Ji Ah - VS - B. When Sajang tries to drive a wedge between you and Lee Rang

Ah, okay, things that make Lee Yeon angry, right? ‘What makes Lee Yeon more angry?’ (Reads out the options) Ah~ This one is a bit... the balance doesn’t crumble in this situation. This one is definitely A.

To be honest, when Sajang tries to drive a wedge between the brothers, because I’m perfectly capable of resolving that myself, and I actually did resolve it in the drama, so that’s not a big problem. Also, I think that Lee Rang isn’t the type to fall for that either...

But when Imoogi fixates on Ji Ah, at those times, yes, a bit - well, not a bit - I get very angry.

That’s why, there’s that [scene] in the drama right? Where we’re fighting on the rooftop, and Imoogi says something about Ji Ah so I get angry and say ‘this XX,’ like that. And when he’s got ahold of Ji Ah’s shoulder, I show up and say I’ll break his wrist and such...yes.

⇒ A

[Reading the live chat] ‘When this is over is the promotional team going to be okay?’ Of course! They’re safe. It’s been amusing for me too. Only one question is left.

[Reading the live chat] ‘Are you close with Lee Tae Ri-nim?’ Yes, we’re close. All of us actors in Tale of the Nine Tailed are close and doing well.

[Reading the live chat] ‘If you mess with Ji Ah, Lee Yeon won’t stand for it, right?’ That’s right.

[Reading the live chat] ‘Long time no see, Lee Yeon’ (quoting Imoogi). Yeah, long time no see~

[redacted]

[Reading from the live chat] ‘I pray that at least one of those is a normal mission’ (laughs) [To his staff] Yah, look at that. Even the fans are telling you they hope it’s a normal mission. Okay, the last mission. [Holds up the empty box and reads off the title] ‘Do You Really Want to See It, Lee Dong Wook’s VLIVE?’, the last mission. Ah! I said mission, but. The last, I’ll now attempt to pick the last VS. It might not be a mission. Okay, what’ll it be? Ta-da! Ah~ it wasn’t a mission.

Q: If you had to experience hell one more time, which would you choose? [1:06:27~]

A. The Knife Mountain Hell full of knives - VS - B. The Forest of the Starved full of agwi?

(Blows out a long breath and contemplates the question for a while) This is hard. Why is this hard, you ask? I had a really really hard time filming both sequences. I went through a lot filming both, and the memories of those times keep flashing across my mind...Even so, I....

[Reading the live chat] ‘This question stresses me out.’ ‘I hate both.’ ‘There’s no end to the Forest of the Starved even if you die, right?’ ‘I really hate the Forest of the Starved.’ You’re right.

[Reading the live chat] ‘The knives hurt don’t they?’ That’s right.

[Reading the live chat] ‘Wah~ Isn’t this too cruel?’ [To his staff] Everyone, isn’t this too cruel, they say.... It’s not?

Okay, If I had to experience one again....I will not go to hell. I won’t choose~

⇒ x

Okay, with this, I played the VS game, and the occasional missions hidden in between, that my promotional team put a lot of effort into preparing for us. This was fun. [To his team] You did a really good job choosing the questions (nodding). Thank you all. Thanks (claps).

~~~

Wow, that was long! If you read this far, thanks for your attention and please consider liking or reblogging to let me know. I also posted a transcription of some of the Q&A that follows this, so please check that out as well if you’re interested. Annyeong~!

#lee dong wook #tale of the nine tailed #totnt #vlive #20201118 #my translations #이동욱 #구미호뎐 #vlive vs game #I dare you to try watching (or in this case reading) this without smiling

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