#making an appearance in a gold platinum diamond edition or whatever the fuck for an addition fifty over base price

[vivalasthedas]

honestly for real considering that ea ended up giving away the deluxe edition upgrade shit for free not that long afterwards, and the deluxe edition is offering you NOTHING OF VALUE i really hope people don't buy it.

[roseinshadows]

Mild dev story: Battlepass Tiers

This is from the latest Jimquisition.

It kind of reminded me of a thing.

This was in late 2000s when I was doing a university "project" course interning at a company. (The company seemed to exist at least at some level a couple of years ago, but now appears to have been bought by a bigger internet-of-things company. I haven't seen the "product" they made in a while, so whatever code I wrote back then is so deep in the vault that nobody is ever going to see it again. I take honour in knowing my code is deeply appreciated by the top men.)

"programming is rather thankless. u see your works become replaced by superior ones in a year. unable to run at all in a few more." - _why

Anyway. I was tasked to write a shop interface for a future "access tier" functionality. Mainly, at the time, it was about integrating the third party electronic payment library, and to add ability to initiate and accept/reject purchases through electronic banks and payment providers. Simple stuff. At this time the shop frontend was supposed to just be nonsense that wasn't actually visible to production users, so I could come up with nonsense access tier "products".

So I came up with some access tiers!

"Bronze!"

"Silver!"

"Gold!"

...Okay so far!

"Platinum!" Why not! ...

Then my ideas started running dry. "Titanium!" ... uh, why not...? "Neutronium!"...

I tried to stretch my creative writing skills so that the first tier levels would look sensible based on the boss's instructions.

I don't know what ungodly riches I promised to the buyers of the higher tiers. "Oh if you buy the Neutronium package you get all of the stuff from the previous tiers plus a private 24H lounge and spa". (You know. For a subscription to a boring web service.) Stuff along those lines.

It was a joke anyway. Nothing of the sort was supposed to make it to the production.

Anyway, my boss was like "good job, nicely done."

I expected literally no acknowledgement, and I got literally no acknowledgment. ...Fair is fair.

The product may have actually had some use for some years after the course was finished... maybe? I rightly can't tell. This product was basically known by a codename and I have no idea if it actually got to production stage. (It was also supposed to be offered to the university students enventually, and I literally heard nothing about it during the rest of my studies.)

So why am I talking about this after a random Jimquisition screenshot?

Well.

Thanks to this little internship, I can legitimately say I have professional experience about TIER NAMING.

(Point the first: I literally have no marketing experience except that. Point the second: I'm not going to put this in my LinkedIn, don't worry.)

So, a professional opinion:

If you name your tier "Ultimate", you fucking don't do "Ultimate+".

You can only go beyond "Ultimate" if you do "Ultimate Motherfucking Super Badass Double Diamond Motherfucker!"¹. Which doesn't fly well in a dry corporate setting.

Stick with a series of more and more implausible elements.

Even if you are stretching it.

¹ (...I was inspired by a video lampooning crypto scams, unfortunately it has no English subs)

Oh yeah! EDIT: BONUS RESEARCH SHENANIGANS

I tried to look for the battle pass details on official EA site. It only showed me "Free", "Premium" and "Premium+" tiers.

I noticed the URL had ?isLocalized=true in the URL.

Ha HA! Being a web software develper, I have [level 0] at hax0r skills. What happens if I change that shit to true?

What. Let's try again.

"I have not the strength, nor the wisdom to master such power… …But one day I shall!" (Ultima VIII: Pagan)

[therappundit]

*Top 5 Rap Verses Of 2017*

I’m still in 2017 (w)rap-up mode, because so much damn good music dropped in 2017 and there is still plenty to dissect!  But how does anyone manage to parse through a years worth of lyrics to pick the cream of the crop? The answer is simple: it’s not possible. The definition of “best” will change with time, enivornment, and even how the listener is feeling moment to moment.

But with any art form, it should be expected that personal feelings are a deciding factor.  So for my list of the best rap verses of 2017, I considered the strength of the lyricism, the message, originality, the rapper’s ability to edit him/herself to achieve max tightness across the whole verse, the execution of the overall theme, persuasiveness of the artist, the quality of the full song, and of course, how I personally connected with the words of each artist.

These are just some of the verses that stayed with me the longest, but please feel free to share any others that blew you away. And if you missed any of these when they first dropped, please press rewind and enjoy my picks for the Top 5 Rap Verses of 2017...

5. “Gunsense” verse 1 - Roc Marciano, Rosebudd’s Revenge

Roc Marciano gets away with “rappity rap” verses (staying with one rhyme pattern over the course of the whole verse, almost like a freestyle technique) because he’s a truly gifted writer. Every bar matters, and every word feels deliberately selected, he knows exactly how to execute. For that reason, Roc Marci’s verses tend to shine on paper. Rosebudd’s Revenge is jam-packed with quotables, but this tough verse on “Gunsense” includes some lines that really pack some impact, with a high potential for longevity (lets just hope Roc continues to get the credit for those rhymes)....

“Since a snot nose We chopped Os Popped Roscoes Left one lock like Shakka Amose Diamond collar bone Swerve pot holes Cop clothes like niggas murdered in Chicago Miami Beach Polyamory Free financially You should see the body on my spanish bitch Motherfucker this is art You can't just pick this apart This not a hobby, this is therapy Nigga we run this You a fucking fungus I'm just having fun with this I live in comfort We don't pump fake The pump ain't fake, I came to dump it Still run with the same niggas I came up with Bust guns with rubber grips Bitch, whatever it is Just get it off your chest like a breast reduction Yeah I'm back on my back of tricks I fucked hip hop, I had to dead the bedwench I've been better ever since You still woulda thought you had better sense Niggas ain't got no self respect You can fuck with that but that ain't this though That wax shit disco, I dismiss hoes Bout to cop the Rolls with no tints, fish bowl French toast then go hit up Sak's Fifth for trench coats Sink your boat Your body wash up somewhere in Glen Cove I was always told to push the envelope It had blow in it though Look what the wind blew in, in Kenneth Coles Quick, pull a lick like a pick n' roll The give and go, some nights alone, run the iso I'm not a racist, dipped Jesus face in white gold I know I know That's not the Messiah's nose, he had wide nostrils”

4. “C. Delores” verse 1 - Royce Da 5′9″, The Bar Exam 4

As long as Royce is rhymin’, he’s going to make his presence felt on this list. By now, the Detroit legend’s proficiency with the pen is so well documented that he’s only chasing “all-time” status. As with previous years, Nickel Nine contributed a plethora of great work to sift through, but this verse on “C. Delores” is a great example of Royce’s ability to drop bars and share personal perspective.

“We started off as targets We had the Congress mad at the whole genre Tryna get rid of us Now it's like we not even trying to be good It's like we just sitting ducks in the eyes of evil I open windows with hopes that the wind blows you ten mo' blessings Set my Timbo's next to my dresser with the Nintendo, and yes The extendo's on the AK 47 and it's wrapped in the dresses of En-Vogue It's time, it's time to move something I guess we missed our window to try to prove something Spot a whack producer from across the room Walk up to him, smack his hookah across the moon Break a platinum plaque over a rapper back Go and toss that bitch into a dark lagoon Go into the heart of the art form with a harpoon They ain't skilled enough to stand the field with us You gon' have to retire me It's only like four or five of you rappers who can actually inspire me I be out here telling the truth I should sign my autograph with a polygraph I move in silence Tryna get to you 'fore you could brace yourself Cause I'm tryna put yo' ass in a body cast Y'all niggas lollygag, not me This evening I'm with the biggest spenders having the most prestigious dinner You eating Church's Chicken with suspicious fictitious sinners I'm a living legend, you a fidget spinner I'm getting cheddar, they tryna catch up to my past M's And I'm getting better quicker, tryna catch up and pass Em' I be blacking out, you could ask them Everything I spit be sick, gag phlegm Everything I wear be tailor-made to fit, Giraffe trim Huh, it seem like everybody out here right now wanna be 'Pac While I'm zoning, stirring the pot I'm 'bout to go so motherfucking Lamont Coleman This 'bout to be disturbing to watch While I'm out here swerving the drop Your favorite rapper 'bout to get cleaned up, served in a box Like laundry detergent, pushing 'round these birds with a mop Tryna stay in a genius, creative state of mind Tryna stay sharper than straight sharks in a 'gator pond Grate her down, all for the greater good and the greater grind While they denying now, all these heathens be crying 'bout Taking care of two, three dudes but these people be lying We keeping it G, we keeping the iron out They feed negativity, we eating vagina while Keeping it Zion, we turning the streets of Detroit to a D zoo Eating while we feed people to lions The dude that I brought with me psycho and schizo He think that he Luke, he like to lift you and make you skywalk You don't wanna play with none of his make-believe truth They'll make the iron speak too He'll do the R2D2 to your heart Until it's parts of a easel Threw a piece of your heart in a jar for the people To dissect at Juilliard I'm the best at who we are, that's fucking food for thought Nobody else been thinking like me thus far though Subpar cerebrals”

3. “Smile” verse 3 - JAY-Z, 4:44

Most of us didn’t think Shawn Carter had enough left in the tank to scrap with the best in the game today. But on 4:44, Hov continued to pad his legacy with great songs and memorable lyrics. With “Smile”, after already dropping personal gems on the first half of the song (most famously a reference to his mother coming out of the closet), Jigga closes things out with arguably his strongest verse in yeeeeeeaaaars....

“I mastered my aesthetics I know you often heard me wax poetic 'bout bein' back in the Lexus But trust me, that was nothin' a nigga up in The hundreds of millions, I have no ceilings, ah, this that feelin' I'm that boy Anita Baker's "You Bring Me Joy" slappin' out of the toy The separation is clear in my rear-view mirror Objects is further than they appear Oh yeah, I was born with a pair, playin' for high stakes Norman's Cay, he looked up and out of the Lear How niggas can't relate? Fuck a slice of the apple pie, want my own cake In charge of my own fate, respect Jimmy Iovine But he gotta respect the Elohim as a whole new regime And niggas playin' for power, huh So our music is ours, niggas own their own houses Ours was, "Fuck you, pay me" now it's, "Fuck payin' me, I pay you Put the rest away for Blue" That blood money I giggle at it, can't even support my miss' habit Jewelry shoppin' in Pa- all ya jewelers should be embarrassed Huh, blood diamonds drippin' with guilt, I still ain't trippin' That's life, winners and losers Drug dealers and abusers, America likes me ruthless My therapist said I relapsed I said, "Pre-haps I Freudian slipped in European whips" God sent me to break the chain, I'm the true and livin' God in the flesh, the rest of these niggas is vain A stain on the white suit, inferior IQ Niggas'll rip your shit off TIDAL just to spite you Ahhhh, what did I do? 'Cept try to free you Niggas'll love you but hate you 'cause they can't be you Dump 'em all in the bayou, uh Everybody wave bye to the guy you thought you could lie to This was meant to be a haiku, huh But my story's too wide to fit inside the line or two Oh, these that drugs, heron flow, I spaz on the stove This is Hov, no flex zone, nigga, who lied to you? Look, you a pedestrian, don't ever question the security I provided you Oh y'all thought I was washed? I'm at the cleaners Launderin' dirty money like the Teamsters, huh Shout out to Hoffa back home, he in the church When I heard you got booked, that shit hurt Fear for you, bro, we know the system don't work Take a young nigga freedom over some dirt Yet it's legal in Colorado, yeah, we deny Black entrepreneurs, free enterprise That's why it's a black market, that's why it's called the trap That's why it's called the projects 'cause it's exactly that All these people was gon' kill me, heh 'Cause the more I reveal me, the more they 'fraid of the real me Welcome back Carter, smile”

2. “JUNKY” - Kevin Abstract of Brockhampton, Saturation II

Brockhampton shouldn’t work. A collection of young talent thrown together to crank out multiple volumes of material in a short period of time? How can artists develop actual musical chemistry under those conditions? Well I don’t know, but they did. “JUNKY” was one of the standouts off of Saturation II, and Kevin Abstract’s opening verse was a major reason why. I don’t know if I have ever heard such an aggressively open verse from a budding homosexual rap star. Abstract’s words are sharp, freshly delivered, unforgettable and hopefully a turning point for a genre of music that, historically, has lagged behind on too many LGBT matters.  

“I spit my heart out, lookin' out for my best interests He gave me good head, peepin' out while the windows tinted I speak in tongues and I arrive without a damn mention It's kinda sick and I was born in 1996 and 1999 the only year that I remember I slip through the cracks without havin' a damn temper I bleach my hair because these bitches all about they bitchin' I say shit when I rap and y'all niggas barely listen I do the most for the culture, nigga, by just existing Delete my tweets 'cause I'm ashamed of being a fuckin' Simpson I told my mom I was gay, why the fuck she ain't listen? I signed a pub deal and her opinion fuckin' disappearin' I'm payin' bills for my sister and tryna fund her business Is it homophobic to only hook up with straight niggas? You know like closet niggas, masc-type Why don't you take that mask off? That's the thought I had last night "Why you always rap about bein' gay?" 'Cause not enough niggas rap and be gay Where I come from, niggas get called "faggot" and killed So I'ma get head from a nigga right here And they can come and cut my hand off and, and my legs off and And I'ma still be a boss 'til my head gone, yeah”

1. “FEAR” verse 3/4 - Kendrick Lamar, DAMN.

In my mind, “FEAR” was an obvious choice. Someday DAMN. may be regarded as a classic, but for now, it should at least be considered a special album. With the first two verses on “FEAR”, Kendrick breaks down the different shapes of anxiety that went through his mind at age 7, and then at age 17. Then he writes from his point of view at age 27, as a successful rap star. What we find is a problem that could not be solved by getting older, or making more money. What we find is that anxiety is a disease that cannot be simply crushed under the weight of any amount of monumental achievements, it only keeps changing shape. Kendrick Lamar shared his own fears on this song, and with that, he has penned an inspirational rap song about struggling with anxiety. I really related to that, and I hope others did as well.

“When I was 27, I grew accustomed to more fear Accumulated 10 times over throughout the years My newfound life made all of me magnified How many accolades do I need to block denial? The shock value of my success put bolts in me All this money, is God playin' a joke on me? Is it for the moment, and will he see me as Job? Take it from me and leave me worse than I was before? At 27, my biggest fear was losin' it all Scared to spend money, had me sleepin' from hall to hall Scared to go back to Section 8 with my mama stressin' 30 shows a month and I still won't buy me no Lexus What is an advisor? Somebody that's holdin' my checks Just to fuck me over and put my finances in debt? I read a case about Rihanna's accountant and wondered How did the Bad Girl feel when she looked at them numbers? The type of shit'll make me flip out and just kill somethin' Drill somethin', get ill and fill ratchets with a lil' somethin' I practiced runnin' from fear, guess I had some good luck At 27 years old, my biggest fear was bein' judged How they look at me reflect on myself, my family, my city What they say 'bout me reveal if my reputation would miss me What they see from me would trickle down generations in time What they hear from me would make 'em highlight my simplest lines I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' creativity I'm talkin' fear, fear of missin' out on you and me I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' loyalty from pride 'Cause my DNA won't let me involve in the light of God I'm talkin' fear, fear that my humbleness is gone I'm talkin' fear, fear that love ain't livin' here no more I'm talkin' fear, fear that it's wickedness or weakness Fear, whatever it is, both is distinctive Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth And I can't take these feelings with me, so hopefully they disperse Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax Searchin' for resolutions until somebody get back Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth And I can't take these feelings with me, so hopefully they disperse Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax Wonderin' if I'm livin' through fear or livin' through rap Damn”

*Honorable Mention*: “The Prestige” - Jean Grae, “Easter Gunday 2″ - Mach-Hommy, “Bullet Klub” - Benny, “Marksmen” - Ka, “Rivi” - Benny, “DNA” - Kendrick Lamar, “100,000 Machine Gunz” - Royce Da 5′9″, “4:44″ - JAY-Z, “Family Feud” - JAY-Z, “Black & Ugly” - Rapsody, “Free” - CyHi The Prynce, “Rick Boxes” - Conway