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vilevenom · 19 hours ago

Note

Shadow gets captured by someone, is tested on and tortured. Sonic and gang try and rescue him. After they find him, Sonic panics because his boyfriend is near death.

Idk how to end this lol

Hello, Anon!

I'm going to assume you were the same anon from my previous prompt/ask? I sure hope so, 'cause as much as I love writing hurt Shadow, I only have one idea for this particular prompt, lol I hope you like it!~ P.S - I may have gone a little ham on the torture scenes? Uhm...not too descriptive, but enough, I think, so please be mindful of that.

Shadow groaned as he slowly came back to consciousness, his eyelids feeling heavy as he blinked groggily against the dim lighting in the room he was in. The heavy, sluggish feeling permeating his limbs was not one he was familiar with, as usually, if he was knocked out, his healing factor would kick into overdrive and fix most of what was ailing him. This time, however, something seemed to be off.

"Ah, you're awake."

With a disgruntled grunt, Shadow turned his gaze in the direction the voice had come from. An involuntary noise of surprise left him when he found Doctor Starline, of all people, stood before him.

"You were crushed to death," the disoriented hedgehog grumbled, squinting at the doctor, as if his eyes were deceiving him.

"So everyone thinks," Starline said with a shrug, wandering from the doorway he'd been stood in to stand in front of Shadow. It was then that the dark hedgehog got a proper good look at the doctor. A rather nasty looking scar ran from near his temple, down towards his jaw, while he visibly walked with a limp, and one shoulder didn't seem to sit quite right in its socket. The doctor smirked lightly at noticing Shadows scrutinizing stare, gesturing towards his injuries. "It's rather nasty, what being trapped under rubble will do to a person, isn't it?"

"Death would've suited you better," Shadow agreed, a sharp, dark grin of his own splitting his lips. For his trouble the doctor snarled, reaching forward to grab at the collar Shadow hadn't realized was secured around his neck. He choked as the doctor yanked him forward in the chair he'd only just realized he was strapped to, still a bit drowsy and unsure as to how the doctor was able to manhandle him so easily.

"Enjoy your little barbs while you can," Starline snapped, tugging the collar hard enough so Shadow visibly gagged, "I don't think you'll be so chatty once I've gotten started with you."

"And what is it you plan to do with me?" Shadow gasped once Starlin let him go and took a swift step back.

"Well," Starline hummed, suddenly sounding giddy, which set Shadow's quills on edge, "Finish the good Doctor Robotnik's work, of course."

"Ivo?" Shadow murmured, confused.

"What? No, no," Starline snorted, flipping on a few additional lights so the room was properly illuminated, "That fool doesn't have proper vision for this sort of work. He's too fixated on that damnable blue hedgehog and his robots." Starline chuckled as Shadow took in the medical equipment and monitors littered around the room. "No. Gerald Robotnik, of course."

"The professor was trying to find a cure for his granddaughter," Shadow snarled, yanking roughly against the bonds holding him down, anger spiking at the fact that they did not give way. He barred his fangs at Starline as the doctor chuckled at his struggle.

"True. But, his research has so many other applications. First, Ivo's additional notes about your Black Arms DNA sheds some fascinating light on your abilities. Add to that what Gerald was already experimenting with on the ARK, and you have so much hidden potential within you." Starline strode back over to Shadow, flicking the dark hedgehog in the nose with a smirk and simply chuckling at the low growl he received for it. "I plan to dig deep into that research and see what makes you tick."

"Hey, have you seen Shadow?"

Tails glanced up from his work bench with a light frown. "No. Why?"

Sonic sighed, tapping his foot in irritation. "He was supposed to come by, like, half an hour ago. We were planning on going for a run, and then maybe grabbing lunch after."

"He's late for a date?" Tails teased, earning a light blush from his older brother.

"Shut up," Sonic grumbled, rubbing at his warm cheek.

Tails simply chuckled, going back to his work. "Relax. He probably got caught up doing something with Rouge, or called away by GUN for a mission."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Sonic sighed, pulling his phone from his quills, "He just usually texts me when he can't show up to something…"

The scream that rang through whatever base Starline had Shadow hidden away in was loud, and riddled with pain. It wasn't a sound that Shadow let lose willingly, either. The hybrid had discovered, once he'd managed to properly wake up and become a bit more lucid, Starline had added some sort of devices to his inhibitors that nearly cut him off entirely from his natural chaos energy. He could only assume that the collar around his neck added to their potency, or was some sort of separate contraption that weakened him on its own. Either way, with his new accessories, Shadow found he was at the doctors mercy, unable to even muster enough strength to break the leather straps binding him to his seat. As such, the doctor was taking full advantage, having attached little electrodes to various spots on Shadows body to "test his electrical resistance", according to the doctor.

Shadow was fully convinced that the doctor was just having fun torturing him while he was unable to defend himself.

"Interesting," the doctor hummed, scribbling down notes while leaving the little device that controlled the electrodes running at a low voltage, watching as Shadow's muscles twitched and convulsed involuntarily, while the dark hedgehog did his best not to bite his own tongue off.

"Hey, Rouge!"

"Hello, Blue," Rouge replied with a smile, looking up from the magazine she was reading, "What can I do for you?" She was sat at a fancy little cafe, conveniently across the road from a jewelry store that Sonic had no doubt the bat was scoping out to rob. However, that really wasn't his concern at the moment.

"Just wondering if Shadow was called off to work on some secret GUN mission? We were supposed to go out a day or two ago, and I haven't heard from him. Normally he'd at least text me to let me know he wasn't going to be around for a few days," Sonic asked, leaning casually against the table, trying not to betray just how worried he really was.

"Hmm," Rouge hummed as she set aside her magazine. "Can't say I've heard from him, either, honestly. But, you know Shadow. Half the time when he does get called away I don't even know about it until he gets back. I'd say, give it at least a week before you start calling in the guard to find your lost boyfriend," she teased, offering Sonic a saucy little wink and chuckling at the flush that spread over Sonic's muzzle.

After three days (at least, Shadow thought it had been three days. There wasn't exactly a good way for him to tell time in the room he was trapped in), Starline had apparently gotten tired of Shadow's screaming and had stuffed a gag into his mouth. His mouth had long since gone dry, and his jaw ached from how it was being held open by the bit between his teeth. Starline seemed to find even that interesting, as he turned Shadow's head this way and that, scribbling down little notes and muttering to himself as he did.

Shadow became grateful for the gag as Starline finally brought out a set of scalpels and began to cut into and peel back the flesh of his arm. It gave him something to dig his teeth into as he tried to keep his mind off the way Starline dug his fingers into exposed muscle and garbled the rough screams that ripped apart his already shredded throat.

"Aw. Why so blue, Sonic?"

"Very funny, Knux."

The echidna chuckled as he strode over to Sonic, flopping onto the grass next to his mopey looking friend. "Couldn't not take the opportunity," Knuckled offered with a shrug, "Seriously, though. What's up? You don't normally visit on your own."

"Can't a guy want to visit his reclusive friend on his floating island without an ulterior motive?" Sonic scoffed, feigning a look of offense.

Knuckles simply raised an eyebrow at him, and Sonic immediately deflated.

"…Shadow hasn't messaged me in a few days."

"Well, damn, guess we gotta call out the troops," Knuckles snorted, grinning at the sharp glare Sonic shot him. "C'mon, you know I'm teasing. Did you talk to Rouge?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"She said to wait at least a week before I get worried."

"Well, then?"

Sonic groaned, shoving himself to his feet. "I know! Why do you think I'm here? C'mon, spar with me. I gotta get my mind off of it. I don't like you being more level headed than me."

Knuckles chuckled, rising to his own feet with a smirk. "Okay. Just remember, you asked for this ass kicking."

Occasionally Starline would let Shadow rest. Sleep would claim him almost immediately, once whatever painful stimulus Starline was using on him was taken away. It was weird for Shadow who very rarely, if ever, truly felt the need to sleep. He certainly enjoyed curling up in his bed at the end of a long day, but it wasn't truly a necessity the way it was for others. But here, in the dank room he'd been trapped in for who knew how long, his body craved it to the point of nearly making him pass out even in the middle of whatever torture Starline had cooked up for him that day.

Generally, when Shadow passed out, his mind went blank, floating in a sea of dark oblivion. However, once in a while he would dream. He knew he had been dreaming, because when he woke he could vaguely recall the blurry images his mind conjured to try and comfort him. Most of which consisted of the color blue in various shades.

At one point, before he could fully pass out, Starline had ripped the gag from his mouth and dumped a glass of water down his throat, which had made him sputter and gag. The doctor had tsked at him and said some asinine comment about Shadow being a mess, which the hedgehog had let drift in one ear and out the other as he coughed red tinted water onto the doctors white jacket. He grinned at the repulsed look Starline had shot him, before the gag was unceremoniously shoved back into his mouth.

Blissfully, the doctor let him pass out for what had to have been at least a few hours after that.

"I brought you some cupcakes, Sonic!"

Sonic offered Amy a smile, taking the little box of baked goods from his friend. "Thanks, Ams. I assume you heard through the grapevine that I've been a bit on edge."

"Tails might've mentioned to me that you've been worried about Shadow," Amy conceded, sitting at the kitchen table. "Did you want to talk about it?"

Sonic sighed, flopping into a chair across from Amy and digging into the box to pull out a bright pink cupcake. "It's dumb."

"It's not, if you're worried."

"Do I even need to be worried?" Sonic peeled away the paper wrapper on the base of the cupcake, "Shadow's a big hedgehog. He can take care of himself. I know he can handle pretty much anything, and he's gone off the radar for weeks at a time before."

"…But?" Amy prompted, watching Sonic unceremoniously shove the entire cupcake into his mouth with a slight grimace.

"But," Sonic echoed around his mouthful of cupcake, pausing to take a moment to chew and swallow before he continued, "Something about this time just feels…different. Like something is off."

"Well, speaking from experience in listening to your gut feelings, maybe something is up. I know everyone else has told you not to worry, but would it really hurt to have Tails run a quick scan to see where Shadow is? His phone has a tracker in it, doesn't it? If he's in an area you know GUN is working, then there really is nothing to worry about," Amy offered, holding a napkin out to Sonic.

"Thanks, Ams," Sonic said with a smile, taking the napkin to wipe icing off his muzzle, "You always know just what I need to hear."

Shadow didn't know when Starline had moved him from the chair to an examination table, but the very idea that he had been so out of it to not notice such a drastic move was worrying to him. His mind was becoming more muddled the longer he was trapped here, and he could barely feel his extremities anymore from how numb they'd become over time. Slowly, the thought that he might die in this dingy room crept into his mind.

When Starline appeared next to the examination table in a full doctors smock and facemask with a scalpel in hand, the thought slammed into the forefront of his mind like a freight train. He struggled weakly against his bonds as the doctor lowered the scalpel towards his abdomen, his mind screaming at him that he couldn't succumb to such a fate. He couldn't let this crazed asshole pull him apart and kill him in such an undignified way. Maria would be so disappointed in him. Sonic would never know what happened. He'd think Shadow had abandoned him.

"Enough of that," Starline snarled, lifting the scalpel, only to stab it viciously into Shadows bicep for his effort, the dark hedgehog letting a garbled wail of pain out around his gag. Starline left the little makeshift dagger in his arm and grabbed another, before proceeding to cut into Shadow's belly.

The pain pulled Shadow into oblivion, his tired and damaged body unable to keep his mind awake as Starline began to poke around in his guts.

"I…I can't find him," Tails admitted after his tracking program ran for the fifth time. Sonic growled lowly behind him, while Amy let out a distressed little noise.

"Scour every known Eggman base for any trace of him. I'm going to call Commander Tower," Sonic snapped, suddenly wishing he'd listened to his gut sooner. Or, at the very least, spoken to Amy first.

"He could be on a blackout mission," Tails offered, turning to watch as Sonic walked out of his work room.

"That's why I'm going to call the Commander," Sonic ground out, pausing in the doorway, "Please, Tails. Look at the bases. Something isn't right. I can feel it."

"Wake up."

Shadow groaned as he owlishly blinked open his eyes, squinting against the light that was shoved in his face. He made an inquisitive noise as Starline moved the light away, his mask tugged down to show a rather unhinged grin. Shadow frowned as much as he could around the gag in his mouth as Starline brandished something at him, the doctors hand dripping red.

It took far too long for Shadow's sluggish brain to realize Starline was holding one of the hybrids organs in his hand, still connected to the hedgehog, but only just barely. He couldn't really tell which it was with the way his vision was turning dark around the edges and his eyes were having trouble focusing. Shadow made a wounded noise as Starline squeezed it gently.

"Isn't this fascinating?" Starline asked, sounding borderline manic, "You're still alive and conscious with your organs being removed. True enough that they're still functionally attached, but the implications!" He let out a crazed little laugh, setting the organ to the side. "I can see why Doctor Robotnik thought you were the key to immortality. Your body's ability to heal and maintain functionality is incredible."

Shadow let out a weak growl at the way Starline spoke and got into his face, not in the least bit regretful as the doctor moved back to twist the scalpel he'd stabbed into his arm previously. At least Starline wasn't in his face anymore.

"We found him!"

"How long will it take to get a task force put together?"

"How did Starline survive?!"

"Move it!"

Sonic's quills bristled at the commotion around him, his friends and GUN agents alike running around behind him. But his focus was solely on one thing - the tiny dot on the screen telling him exactly where Shadow was.

A harsh burst of wind and a blur of blue whipped through the room as Sonic took off, ignoring the shouts called after him to wait until the others had a plan of attack.

He had a plan. Attack.

The next time Shadow woke, he was pleasantly surprised to find that Starline had the decency to put his organs back inside him, even if he could still tell that his torso was split open and on display to the world. He figured that the damp feeling on the table that had soaked into his fur was likely blood. He wondered idly how much longer he could survive without food or water, with the wounds he'd been sustaining, when he had barely a trickle of chaos energy flowing into his body.

Perhaps he truly would die in this room. At least he'd get to see Maria and Gerald again. That would be nice. Though, he was sorry he'd never get to explain to Sonic that he hadn't meant to abandon him. He'd actually been looking forward to their stupid little date of a race and chili dogs. That conversation seemed like so long ago, now. Sonic had been bouncing on his toes as he'd proposed his idea to Shadow, a bashful little blush on his muzzle, despite the fact that it was no different than any other time they had spent time together. Shadow had found it stupidly endearing.

He choked quietly around his gag as he felt tears build up in his eyes. For everything that Starline had done to him, he'd not cried. But, the thought of disappointing Sonic, of not getting to speak to him again, had finally brought him to tears. He tried to hold them back, not wanting to give the doctor the satisfaction of seeing him cry, but the tears dripped down his temples unbidden as he stared forlornly up at the ceiling.

The tears, however, came to an abrupt stop as an explosion sounded somewhere in the distance, but close enough that the room shook. Shadow gasped as a heart monitor near the table he was strapped to crashed to the floor, wide eyes trained on the door. There were only two things that an explosion like that could be; Starline fucking up another experiment somewhere in the hell hole Shadow was trapped in, or a rescue team. Shadow desperately hoped it was a rescue team.

The door to the room burst open not a moment later, Starline looking haggard and frenzied as he stumbled into the room. Shadow watched him in trepidation as the doctor raced around the room as quickly as his limp would let him, gathering notebooks and loose papers. Shadow could hear him muttering to himself as he stuffed everything he gathered into a bag, his gaze finally landing on Shadow as he turned to leave the room. Shadow squirmed against the bonds holding him down as Starline stalked towards him, his body still too weak and damaged to break free. His heart began to beat wildly as Starline snatched up another scalpel, his sluggish mind idly wondering if Starline could see just how quickly his heart was pumping with his chest splayed open as it was.

Shadow could tell Starline was saying something, though whether it was supposed to be directly at him or to himself he had no idea, the words fading into a buzz in his ears. His focus had zeroed in on the scalpel as Starline raised it above his head, obviously planning to stab Shadow to death with the tiny implement. The urge to shut his eyes was strong, but Shadow wanted to stare death in the eye as it came for him. He let out a low snarl as the scalpel came down towards him, only to blink in surprise as Starline disappeared from his view and a blue blur raced passed him.

Sonic.

Shadow squirmed weakly against his bonds, his ears swiveling towards the sound of something smashing in the room and the soft sound of shattered glass raining down on the floor. He could hear Sonic growling, which, even in the most dire of situations Shadow had never heard before. Starline screamed something, with only the sound of more equipment in the room being destroyed answering him. He tried to turn his head, only to wince at the pain that caused, and looked back towards the ceiling. Apparently, at some point, Starline had sliced into Shadow's neck around his collar, most likely when he'd been passed out.

His ears perked as Starline screamed again, though it was abruptly cut off, followed by the doctor flying across the room, back into Shadows line of sight, and smashing into a shelf of random equipment. He slumped to the ground, obviously knocked out from the impact. Shadow let out a vindictive little growl at the sight, pleased as punch that Sonic blatantly didn't go easy on Starline, if the smattering of red, weeping wounds on the doctor was anything to go by. He jerked as Sonic strode into view, wriggling against his bonds as an uncharacteristic whine left him, finally catching the blue hedgehogs attention.

"Shadow!" Sonic gasped, racing to the table to immediately begin working on untying Shadows bonds. "What did he do to you?! Chaos," he muttered, staunchly ignoring the fact that he could see inside his partner.

Once one of Shadows hands was free he weakly lifted it to his mouth to rip the gag away from his mouth, working his sore jaw with a low groan. "He wanted to see what made me 'tick'," Shadow finally croaked, his throat revolting against the simple sentence. It felt like Starline had stuffed it full of razorblades. Maybe he had.

"That's not funny, Shadow," Sonic growled, finishing off with freeing Shadow's feet. He dared not move the hybrid until the GUN unit finally arrived. He was fairly certain that if Shadow even sat up right now his guts would go spilling across the floor. He moved back up the table, trying his best to focus on his partners face, and not the horrific evidence of what had happened to him over the last five days. He let a shaky hand slowly card through Shadow's quills - one of the only parts of his body not soaked in blood. He heaved a heavy breath, fighting back tears as they gathered in his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?" Shadow asked, tugging idly at the collar still wrapped around his neck. He wanted to rip it off, but without knowing exactly how it was effecting his body, he dared not, given how close he believed he probably was to death at the moment.

"For not coming sooner," Sonic gasped, ducking his head as the tears forced their way down his cheeks. "When you didn't show up for our date, or even text, I thought something might be wrong. But everyone told me to wait. That it wasn't unusual for you to drop off the radar without notice. I should've listened to my gut. I should've looked for you sooner."

"Hush," Shadow murmured, hating how his hand trembled as he lifted it to brush against Sonic's face, frowning as it smeared blood across a peach cheek. "S'not your fault," he sighed, swallowing against the dryness in his throat, only to cough quietly after doing so and wincing at the pain that shot through his abdomen from the action. He wheezed and Sonic panicked, clutching at Shadow's hand with wide, teary eyes.

"The rest of the team should be here soon, then we'll get you to a hospital," Sonic reassured, "You'll be okay."

"I know," Shadow hummed, he ear swiveling towards the doorway at the tell tale sound of boots running down a hallway. GUN had arrived.

The path to healing was a slow one that drove Shadow insane.

He'd been taken away to a GUN facility to be patched up, and for his recovery regime. Sonic had nearly been barred from visiting, only for Rouge to point out that she or Omega would just sneak him in if GUN didn't allow him clearance. Thus, Commander Tower gave Sonic a special clearance card that would allow him to the medical wing, much to the blue hedgehogs delight. Shadow had no doubt that Sonic was going to use the card to get into much more than the medical wing while he was in recovery.

Stitches were not an experience that Shadow was especially fond of, however the GUN doctor who had patched him up had been worried that putting him under anesthesia while working on him might just finish him off, so he'd been awake during the entire ordeal of having his abdomen stitched closed. Truly, he felt like a cadaver, with the borderline y-incision stitches the doctor had done on him. Sonic had made an mindless comment about how at least Starline had cut him open underneath his chest fluff, so that was mostly undamaged. The distasteful joke had made Shadow laugh, and his laugh had eased a little bit of the stress that had made itself home on Sonic's face, much to his relief.

The inhibitor ring adjustments were the worst parts of what Starline had done to him, in Shadow's opinion. He had used Gerald and Ivo's research notes to create the little add-ons, and they had screwed with his chaos energy enough that they had to be removed one at a time over a lengthy period of time, otherwise his body may go haywire and shut down at the sheer amount of energy that normally occupied it. Luckily, however, the collar was able to be removed right away. It's only purpose appeared to be to physically weaken Shadow, since a lack of chaos energy would only slow him down.

Meanwhile, Starline had been locked up in the deepest, darkest cell that GUN unofficially had. For once, when Shadow made an off-color joke about burying Starline alive, Sonic stayed silent, instead of his usual quip about how everyone should have the opportunity to be free. He'd simply squeezed Shadow's hand gently and stared off into space. Perhaps, just this once, Sonic had changed his mind about the possibility of redemption.

And that was what was slowly, truly driving Shadow insane. Sonic had become quiet since the whole ordeal. He stuck close by Shadow's side during his physiotherapy, offering quiet little comments of encouragement, and he would tell Shadow about his day and read to him while he was trapped in the hospital bed. However, gone were his boisterous declarations of adventure and sarcastic little remarks about the people he came across during his day to day activities. It was like the light in Sonic's soul had been snuffed out while Shadow had been detained.

One day, Shadow had simply had enough.

"I'm not dead, you know."

"…what?" Sonic stopped in his explanation of the latest project Tails was working on while the two of them sat in the GUN cafeteria after one of Shadow's physio appointments.

"I'm not dead. I didn't die. You're talking to me like you would speak to a grave."

Sonic blinked in surprise, sitting back and up at the table, quickly shaking his head. "No I'm not."

"You are. You're speaking to me the way I speak to Maria about my day. You're soft and somber, and it's driving me nuts." Shadow was never really one to mince words, especially not when speaking to Sonic.

"I…I'm sorry?" Sonic looked genuinely confused, his hands falling into his lap, "I didn't realize…"

"I know what you saw was a lot. And I am sorry that you had to see it at all. But it wasn't your fault, and I survived. I need you to be boisterous, and loud, and annoying. I need you to be you, Sonic. I need you to run amok through some top secret area of the base and bring me back a pen from Commander Tower's office, just because you know it will annoy him. I need you to bring a stack of comics into my room and leave them scattered everywhere because you're too excited to finish reading an issue before you move on to the next, while trying to explain the ridiculous plot to me. Please…I feel like Starline killed you when he was trying to kill me."

"Shadow," Sonic breathed, reaching across the table to gently take the hybrids hands into his. "I'm sorry. I just…When I saw you on that table, I really thought I was going to lose you. I guess I still feel like you could slip through my fingers if I hold on too tight."

"Once the last inhibitor is fixed, you can hold on as tight as you want," Shadow soothed, brushing his thumbs across the back of Sonic's hands, "Moderate pressure can currently be handled at this time."

Sonic snorted at Shadow's deadpan joke, a short peel of laughter escaping him as the hybrid offered him a short, lopsided smile.

"There you are."

Sonic sighed and brought one of Shadow's hands up to his lips to press a soft kiss to the back of it. "Well then…I hope you're prepared for me to go full koala once you're all better."

"I don't think I'd have it any other way."

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #sonic fanfiction #doctor starline #things that i wrote #tw: violence #tw: blood #fic prompt

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lasnevadaslaborunion · 2 years ago

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It frightens and discourages me how pervasive "tribal" stereotypes and imagery are in the fantasy and adventure genres.

It's all over the place in classic literature. Crack open a Jules Verne novel and you're likely to find caricatures of brown people and cultures, even when the characters are sympathetic to the plight of the colonized peoples - incidentally, this is the biggest reason I can't recommend 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea to everyone, despite Captain Nemo being one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

You can't escape it in modern cinema, either. You'll see white heroes venturing bravely into jungles and tombs to steal from natives who don't know how to use their resources "properly." You'll see them strung up in traps, riddled with sleeping darts, forced to flee and fight their way out. Hell, Pirates of the Caribbean, a remarkably inclusive franchise in many other ways, had an extended sequence of the white heroes escaping from a cannibal civilization in the second film.

And when fantasy RPGs want a humanoid enemy, the "bloodthirsty natives" are the first stock trope they jump to. World of Warcraft is one of the most egregious examples, with the trolls - blatant racist caricatures with faux-voodoo beliefs, cannibalistic diets, Jamaican accents, and a history of being killed in droves by (white) elves and humans - being raided and slaughtered in nearly every expansion.

It doesn't matter how vibrant and distinctive the real-world indigenous, Polynesian, Caribbean, and African cultures are. It doesn't matter how much potential these real civilizations offer for complex and sympathetic characterization. Anything that doesn't make sense to the white western mind is shoved under the same "savage" umbrella. They're different. They're strange. They're scary. They have to be escaped, subjugated, eliminated, ogled at from the safety of a museum.

Modern writers, directors, and developers don't even seem to realize how horrifying it is to present the indigenous inhabitants of a place as "obstacles" for non-native protagonists to overcome. "It's not racist," they say, "because these people aren't really people, you see." And if you dare to point out anything that hurts or offends you as a descendant of the bastardized culture, you're accused of being the real racist: "These aren't humans! They're monsters! Are you saying that these real societies are just like those disgusting monsters?"

No, they're not monsters. But you chose to design them as monsters, just as invaders have done for hundreds of years. Why would you do that? Why can you recognize any other caricature as evil and cruel, but not this?

This is how deep colonialism runs.

#tw racism #critical #this isn't even about any specific media anymore #it's a pattern #and it's a pattern that seems so obvious #but it's so omnipresent that even the most progressive folks can't seem to recognize how terrifying it is #these tropes were written in blood

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maskedbyghost · 2 months ago

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Heyyy, it's me again, but this time we're talking situationship!Simon—aka the biggest fuckboy you'll ever meet. Honestly, girl, I have no idea why you're still putting up with him!

you can’t even define what you two have, but one thing’s for sure—he knows how to use his dick, and you're both free to mess around with whoever you want. but of course, you had to fall for him, for that stupid smile he swore only you were special enough to see, for the gentle touch that lingered on your skin during those rare nights when he stayed longer than usual. you fell for the way he made you feel like you were the exception, even though deep down, you knew better.

you fell for how he made you feel like you were everything, even though he’d always leave just as quickly. he knew exactly how to keep you hooked—giving just enough to make you believe in him, but never enough to make it real. you wanted more, but every time he left, you remembered that his promises were as short-lived as his visits. still, you couldn’t stop going back, hoping that maybe this time, he’d actually mean it.

but he never did. you’d have fun for a few hours, but then he’d leave, acting like you didn’t exist around everyone else. he’d flirt with other girls right in front of you, not even bothering to hide it when he left with them, almost like he wanted you to see.

and every time, it hurt a little more, but you couldn’t bring yourself to end it. you told yourself you didn’t care, that it was just fun, but deep down, you wanted to be the one he stayed with. yet, no matter how much it hurt to watch him with someone else, the moment he came back, all that anger faded, and you let him in again, caught in the hope that maybe someday he’d truly see you as more than just a temporary fix.

one night, you tried to have a serious conversation with him, hoping that if you laid out your feelings, he might finally understand. but he dismissed your emotions with a shrug, listing reasons why he didn’t want a relationship: he was too focused on his career, he wasn’t ready for commitment, and he just didn’t want to deal with the complications. simon insisted that keeping things as they were was the best option for both of you.

afterward, as you lay together, a clear realization hit you. even though you were physically close, you couldn’t ignore the emptiness you felt. that night you made a silent promise to yourself: this would be the last time you let him in, and the last time you let yourself be trapped in this cycle.

and, being the dumb man he was, simon only came to realize what he had lost after you were gone. a few weeks after your last conversation, he saw you a few times out with other guys, laughing and flirting as if you were moving on. it hit him hard—a painful mix of jealousy and regret. he realized that he missed you, but at the same time, he knew he had no right to these feelings. not after treating you the way he did.

he managed to keep his calm for a few more days, but the weight of his regret grew unbearable. finally, he snapped and called you into his office late one night, claiming he needed to discuss the upcoming mission with you.

as soon as you walked in, simon felt his heart tighten in his chest. seeing your face calm, confident, like you had already moved on, stirred something deeper than he expected. there was no trace of the vulnerability you used to show around him, no lingering affection. he realized, in that moment, just how much he had pushed you away. regret surged through him, sharper than he imagined, and he knew this conversation wouldn’t be easy.

after talking about unimportant stuff for a few minutes, simon took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. “i know i messed up, and i’m sorry for how i treated you. i’ve been thinking a lot about what happened, and i realize now how much i regret it. i was wrong to push you away.”

you looked at him, your expression guarded. “it’s a little too late for apologies, simon, don't you think? you had plenty of chances to get it right, and now you’re just trying to fix things because you see me with someone else.”

he tried to reach out, his voice softening. “i know it’s not enough, but i want to make things right. i can’t stop thinking about what we had.”

you shook your head, stepping back. “you had your chance, and you threw it away. i’m not going to be your second choice or your backup plan.”

"y/n-"

"no, simon!" you sighed, closing your eyes briefly to gather your thoughts. when you spoke again, your voice was steady, "you know, some people never fade from memory. they leave a mark that lingers just beneath the surface, no matter how hard you try to move on. but to be honest, i’m not in the mood for any more humiliation or heartbreak. so, this is my final goodbye to you."

you could sense that he wanted to say something, but you couldn’t let him speak before you had your say. “go ahead and fill your life with new faces, as if i were nothing but a distant memory. enjoy your freedom and let others wear you out as they please. i’m done being part of that. keep moving forward, and if you ever try to reach out, know that i’ll let your calls go unanswered. for now, i’m celebrating the end of our chapter.”

even as he heard you declare the end, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he still wanted you in his life. he was stuck between guilt and the lingering hope that maybe he could still fix things. despite your rejection, part of him struggled to accept that he had truly lost you, and he felt powerless to change the situation or let you go.

simon’s face twisted with a mix of desperation and anger. “you think you can just walk away and erase everything we had? you think you can move on and leave me behind like I’m nothing?” he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but his voice was filled with raw intensity. “don’t fool yourself, i still want you, and i won’t just let you go. you’re mine, whether you like it or not. i know i’ve made mistakes, but i’m not done fighting for what we had. if you think you can find someone better, go ahead. but know this: i’ll keep groveling and doing whatever it takes until you take me back. i’m not going anywhere, and i’ll make sure you remember what we had.” he took a step back, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, and ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

you just smirked, turning on your heel to leave. as you reached the door, you glanced back over your shoulder with a cold, confident look. “i can’t wait to see you on your knees,” you said, your voice sharp. then, you walked out, leaving him alone with his mess.

game on.

(I WANT HIM TO GROVEL FOR MONTHSSSS)

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@daydreamerwoah

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley #simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley x female oc #simon ghost x you #simon riley angst

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tender-rosiey · 4 months ago

Note

MY DEAR AND BEAUTIFUL ROSE<3. I saw that your requests are open and I wanted to ask about my husband (Sukuka cough cough) a scenario where the husband Sukuna saves the reader from the enemy, or someone tries to kidnap and hurt his wife! you write Sukuna's feelings so beautifully <3

fools' sentence — ryomen sukuna x f!reader

a/n: bro you're too kind ilysm; I really hope you like this too <3

if only you listened to that rude servant about not going out of the castle.

it’s a bitter thought really, but you just couldn’t let your pride be scarred by somebody who doesn’t even speak to you in a minimal amount of respect.

so, in a way, you’re okay with dying a proud queen who doesn’t let anybody disrespect her.

“oh, we are going to have so much fun with you, and that monstrous husband of yours will just see your mutilated body after we’re done with you,” the guy grins devilishly. you back up slightly.

okay, so maybe, you don’t want to die just yet.

“that impudent woman! she disobeyed me, and now, we are stuck looking for her, so we can find her before sukuna returns!” the servant complains loudly while walking the halls of the castle.

“and who is that impudent woman you speak of? surely, it isn’t my wife you’re addressing in such a manner,” a voice—a very distinct and well-known one—says from behind the servant.

only then does she realize the shadow that suddenly was casted from above her.

she quickly falls to her knees and starts stuttering out her apologies and excuses, “o-of course not, my lord! how could I ever speak ill of the lady of the castle! her presence is to be respected, naturally!”

after she is done, she lets silence fill the room. assuming that sukuna has believed her, she lets out a sigh of relief, and her body relaxes ever so slightly.

however, an ear-piercing scream is ripped out of her throat when sukuna steps on her foot, so roughly that it breaks.

sukuna groans, annoyed at the incessant scream and wailing of the lady, and he throws a question, “where is your queen?”

the woman keeps on sobbing but tries to speak out nonetheless, “s—she, she,” she hiccups, but sukuna has no time to listen to her bellow.

“faster! where is she?”

she buries her face in the ground to quieten her sobs, but she doesn’t get the chance to respond to him when uraume appears out of thin air.

they kneel to the ground and speak humbly, “my lord, lady y/n has been taken as a hostage by a group of sorcerers.”

sukuna eyes’ widen, and he frowns.

he quickly turns to leave but not before making a command, “uraume, every servant who was careless and caused her disappearance is to be beheaded immediately.”

you thank god for men being prideful creatures who love speaking about themselves. you only asked them once about their accomplishments and raids, and they never stopped talking.

with a couple of positive encouragements from you, they talked and talked till the sun went down.

the doors of the room you’re trapped in slams open, and a fearful boy screams out, “sukuna—sukuna is here!”

“what?!” they all snap, and you grin. finally, you were going to be freed from this cage.

unfortunately, one of the men notices your beaming expression. his face contorts, livid, and he quickly fists your hair in his hand. you let out a scream, but he slams you against the wall.

he shouts, “shut up! you’re the one that lured him here! you stalled till he could find you! you wretched woman!”

“are you stupid?! you take his wife, and you expect him to stand idly by?!” you reply, voice hoarse, and unable to accept taking what he said lying down.

you can’t, however, control the dizziness that hits you, and you can feel blood trickling down your nose.

the only thing that comforts you is the sound of slashes and the calling of your name by your darling husband.

you smirk at the man above you and whisper, “ever saw sukuna in action?”

the man grits his teeth and before he throws a punch at your face, the door flies and gets crushed into pieces. the man quickly throws you away, so he can focus all his energy on sukuna.

but, sukuna instead moves to be right by your side and shields you from the ground.

he wraps an arm around you and pulls you a bit closer.

his eyes carefully scan you; he clenches his jaw at the sight of the blood. he carefully wipes it and moves your face towards him with one of his hands. he speaks up, “you alive?”

“don’t you ignore me, sukuna—” the man sneers, but he is quickly silenced. he sees his tongue flying to the ground. the sight scares him to the core, he starts screaming—or his attempt at one.

his knees feel weak, and he falls to the ground. his blood pools slowly on the ground.

sukuna shifts your focus back to him again, and you respond slowly, “alive and kicking,” raising a thumbs up. he nods and gently lays you down on the ground.

you wince a little and complain lightly, “this place is dusty.”

he hums, “wait a second.”

your husband rises to his feet and turns to the man. sukuna approaches the man, taking his time with each step. anger swirls violently inside of him, and his eyes looked down sharply at the man.

the sorcerer quivers and covers his mouth; he quickly backs up to the wall. he sukuna scoffs, “you’re still annoying even after taking your tongue out?”

the man’s pride almost causes him to retort back with a yell of his own.

but then sukuna snatches him up by the hair and stares him right in the eyes, “for every strand of hair you’ve touched on her head, I will make you bellow in pain till your vocal chords are ripped into shreds.”

you groan and stir lightly. you slowly open your eyes and examine your surroundings. you’re back in the castle; you smile and relax back into your pillow.

“so you’ve finally awaken?”

you turn to your husband with a grin, “hey handsome.”

“why did you leave the castle?”

straight to the point. you prop yourself up on the pillow and sit up. you look at him then look away, “it’s kind of embarrassing actually.”

“not your first,” he responds, and you pointedly ignore him.

“I wanted to greet you before you arrived at the gate,” you murmur then quip, “but I didn’t even go beyond the fence! I was still in the area!”

he listens quietly and sits beside you. he pulls you against his chest, “you do not need to do anything like that.”

you look up at him with a small smile and he finds himself letting out a small breath—of fondness?—he closes his eyes and speaks in absolute manner, “you should know that I will always come for you.”

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss@pompompurin1028@scul-pted@requiem626k@nameless-shrimp@sonder-paradise@jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies@pianopuppygirl @gojosblackqueen @kryscent @kunikida-simp @whoami-72 @mx-0-child @fiona782 @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana @laylasbunbunny @hojicha-expresso @4sat0ruu @nineooooo @chuuyasboots @alekssashka7 @rieejjyubi02 @satoryaa @nothisispatrick300 @fallencrescentmoon @etheviese @ho34gojo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @the-weeping-author @stray-npc @libbyistired @anon1412 @anakalana @maehemthemisfit @satorustar @b4nka1@sad-darksoul@ko-fi-heart@pumpkindudeishere@suyaaachin@babyqueen17@chaosguy352@murakami-kotone@sukun4ryomen@yumieis@hearts4itoshi@sleepyxxhead@dunixxd@sleepycrybbylaiah @imjustaduckwholikesbread @emilyyyy-08@spacebaby1@arabellatreaty@viscade @washeduphasbeen @janbannan @sugurubabe @enidths @mwtsxri @peppersapro @uranosbaaee

do not copy or plagiarize or I will write your name on the list I give to sylus

#sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x you #ryomen x reader #ryomen x you #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk sukuna x reader

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cursingtoji · 1 year ago

Text

ᥫ᭡ 𝐬𝐨... 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰?

— where satoru comforts you after breaking up with toji

gojo being lowkey yandere, fem reader, toji is the ex, mentions of baby trapping, reader is older, gojo calls her senpai (almost as a mock), classroom smut, fingering, gojo has to wear a condom and he hates it, he’s also a bit pathetic and in love, reader is a bit of bitch. 4k (this was supposed to be drabble idk what happened)

“i know what you’re thinking” gojo’s voice breaks the silence in the classroom where you were supposed to be grading papers but instead has been looking through the window for god knows how long now.

the sudden appearing happens after gojo catches your lost gaze on the field some of his students were training at. he saw your profile looking down at your desk, then after a few minutes you looked through the window until your eyes set on gojo’s protégée and the son of the man that broke your heart.

“but if you keep up with that megumi will get creeped out by you” gojo simply manifested in your classroom as soon as he realized you would stay in trance not even noticing your fellow teacher staring back at you from below.

“whatever, he never liked me anyways” you brush off, then remember what he said before, “and what the hell makes you think you know what i’m thinking?”

“ah, you forgot? i have an eye or six for this sorta thing” he points to his blindfold.

“you saying you can read minds now, you freak?” your relationship with satoru always had that dynamic. toji usually got very annoyed whenever he was in the same room as the two of you, he tried to pull you away or make an excuse for you two to go back to his place. deep down you knew he felt some type of way whenever you and satoru banter like that.

“please you’re so transparent i wonder how megumi haven’t seen it yet, i'm concerned that he might need glasses…”

“just say what you wanna say, satoru.”

gojo, on the other hand, didn’t need an instinct to see how jealous and possessive toji could be when he was around. all that gojo needed to say was one word to trigger the old man.

“every time you see megumi you think about him, don’t ya?” he takes a step in your direction while you sink in your chair looking away, “senpai.”

gojo never showed respect for anyone, he was scolded several times by yaga because of it, utahime tried to hit him whenever she could, demanding formal treatment since she was his upperclassmen. but you, for whatever reason he decided, was the only one he used the honorific with.

“he’s his kid, of course i’ll—“

“ever since i heard about your breakup you’ve been acting like everything is fine, except for when you see megumi, then you frown,” gojo extends his index and taps the space between your eyebrows “and your cursed energy increases” he then sits on your desk looking down at you, “don’t tell me megumi had anything to do with why toji—“

“of course not” you stop him, although megumi was never fond of you, you know he’s a good kid and wouldn’t try to get in the way of your relationship with his father. as far as you know, he’s not particularly close to his old man either. actually, anything related to toji — bets, races, you — is automatically disregarded by him.

“then you gotta stop looking at him like he did something, or before you realize your energy towards him will become hostile and i can’t let that happen” gojo’s tone became more severe, it’s one of those rare times where he drops the playful persona in order to get serious. truthfully, megumi did nothing, but you can't unsee toji when you look at him, especially after seeing what your ex-boyfriend used to look like in the old days when he showed you some photos. it never occurred to you before, since you barely saw megumi anyways, you're not his sensei and in your free time you were with toji so there wasn't much time to get to know megumi since they don’t live together since the boy was five. you suppose gojo is right, pushing your hurt feelings away only makes them come out stronger when you see anything that reminds you of toji.

“that’s not gonna happen, i have my energy under control” you cross your arms, feeling exposed under gojo’s gaze even through the mask.

he stays quiet for a second, then his annoying tone is back.

“what did you even see in him anyways? he’s definitely not a good guy.”

“that’s rude, toji is—“

“did you think you could change him or something?”

“i— no, why—“

“from what megumi said he was cheap as fuck so it was definitely not the money” he rubs his chin.

“gojo, i swear—“

“was it the sex?”

you widen your eyes and close your mouth, not having a simple answer for that.

“jackpot” satoru whispers.

“fuck off, satoru” you raise from your seat but he raises too, blocking your way and trapping you against the black board and his body.

“you stayed with that guy for years just for the sex?” he has a mocking tone that makes your blood boil.

“no! and that’s none of your goddamn business.”

“and you’ve broken up, what? two months ago? you’ve been all this time without sex?” you raise your hand ready to slap his face or punch his nose but he sees your movements faster and catches your wrist, “don’t be like that senpai, your energy is getting hostile again” he takes all the time in the world lowering his blindfold and letting his hair fall down while staring at you with those freaking blue eyes, “although, on second thought i think that might be mmm… sexual frustration? it’s a color i never seen in you before” he grabs your wrist firmly.

“you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“oh but i do, senpai. i’m just wondering how you haven’t downloaded a dating app or tried to rub one off yet” gojo knows exactly which buttons to press to make you wanna stab him, or worst, make you wanna fuck him.

gojo gets closer to your face, so close you can smell his aftershave, and just the realization that it’s a different scent from the one you were so used to makes your heart ache and your clit throb.

“or did you?” he’s fast, gojo catches your phone on top of the table putting it right in front of your face to unlock then moving away from you to check it, “definitely no dating apps” you yell his name and try to snatch your phone back but he puts infinity on and you can’t reach him, “browser history?”

“satoru, you have no right, gimme that” your face is hot with shame.

“nothing either, well i suppose your camera roll…”

“no!”

“aha” he deactivates the invisible shield and right when you think you can retrieve your phone he turns you around, holding your arms behind your back and pressing your back against his chest, “is that what you use to get off?” he puts the phone in front of you, it’s opened in the gallery, more specifically in a part filled with lewd videos and photos.

“not bad, you could make some cash outta this” gojo puts his chin on your shoulder, playing a video which clearly was filmed by toji, his dick is getting in and out of you from behind, he gets a close look with the phone, his glistening dick shining under the flashlight while your pussy stretches to accommodate him. you press your legs together remembering the feeling, you’re not even struggling to get out of gojo’s hold by the time the video ends.

“you don’t need to get off by yourself, you know?” he smells your hair and kisses your ear, “it’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

“that was forever ago” you reply, at the time you thought satoru was going to use that against you, just waiting for an opportunity to drop that bomb on toji’s lap and proudly say he fucked his girlfriend before, but whatever image you had of him back then was proved wrong since no one knows about your little escape with gojo till this very day.

“and wasn’t it good? huh?” he presses, sucking the spot on your neck that has you throwing your head back.

“yeah, it was” you confess, too sensible from the light touches to rethink your answers.

“see? i can make you feel good so you don’t become a little monster” he trails his hand on your thigh, pushing your skirt up until he finds your underwear, playing with the hem to tease you then pressing a finger on your clit.

“so charitable of you” you mumble sarcastically.

“i would gladly do this favor to you” he replies in the same tone, “even though you still own me.”

“for what?!” you close your legs around his hand turning your head around to look him in the face, not even considering a world where satoru did you any favors.

“for raising your boyfriend’s son? you really think you would’ve had a sex life with an eight year old summoning pets around the house?” he raises an eyebrow.

“don’t pretend like you did that out of the goodness in your heart, if megumi didn’t have the ten shadows you wouldn’t have bat an eye if toji sold him to the zenin’s or whomever.”

“you sound just like him” gojo’s eyes get darker, now he has your clit slowly rolling between his thumb and index over your underwear.

“besides— hng i came in the picture years after you took megumi… so don’t blame me” you wiggle your ass on his crotch.

“a ‘thank you my favourite kohai’ wouldn’t hurt” you sincerely laugh at that, never thinking of satoru as your underclassmen since that fucking minx is everyone’s exception on their cursed technique due to how powerful he is, so him being below you somehow was never a posibility, at least not strength wide.

satoru pushes your underwear to the side, rubbing the wetness all over your pussy and teasing your entrance.

“five years” you murmur as he inserts a finger then pulls it back to join his middle one too and go back in.

“hm?” satoru gets quieter, after talking so much and having so many things to say you’re surprised he stayed silent for a whole minute.

“last time you fucked me, it was five years ago” you get comfortable on his hold, his leg is between yours, serving as support for you to lean on while he scissors you.

“that long huh…” he sounds… sad? no, maybe nostalgic.

“crazy, right? so much has—“ you sigh when he curls his fingers, “changed.”

satoru take a long sniff of your hair, keeping a pleasing rhythm with his hand, it feels like giving someone a massage. he could go crazy and have you stripped out of your uniform a while ago, fucked you on your desk and left after marking your body and giving your ass a mean slap.

he could still do that, but whatever feeling bloomed in his chest has him enjoying this moment with you in his hold, stroking your insides and smelling your shampoo while discreetly rocking his hips on your behind for some relief.

he almost feels sleepy, the relaxed state has his mind going other places. he thinks of a world where he can tease you under your uniform every other day, you would tell him the school is no such a place for that then the day ends and you go home with him, holding hands, and finally when you arrive home he gets to finish what he started. then, he cooks whatever quick meal he can find the ingredients for since he knows you don't like to cook, afterwards you fall asleep on his lap on the couch as he strokes your hair, your belly is full, your heart is warm, you feel loved and he feels—

“toru~” he comes out of the trance he fell at when you call for him, he thinks for a second you were calling his name cause you felt he was off, but in reality you were calling him cause you are getting close, “right there” your breathy moans makes gojo smile and kiss your temple.

“where? here?” he pretends to not know, when the truth is he never actually forgot after your first time together, “right here, senpai?”

“y-yeah” you throw your head back, shutting your eyes to give in to the orgasm. gojo looks down at your pretty face, he feels the urge to kiss you right now, but he wants you to ask for it first. your walls clench around his fingers, he strokes that spot sweetly, like he's caressing a pet.

which is an ironic comparison since he’s the one that would gladly accept being your pet.

when you open your eyes gojo is staring at you silently through half lid eyes, it is truly a shame that he keeps those hidden for so long.

“desk, now” you demand needly.

“yes ma'am” gojo picks you up easily, moving the papers on top of the table to the floor.

you immediately go for his belt, choosing not to comment on the wet spot on his pants.

you feel a pressure on your chin as he guides your head up to look at him.

“ask me” he pleads.

“for what?”

“for a kiss” you smile, looking at his lips and how inviting they look. you ponder if you should tease him for it, since he's been teasing you with words a lot today, but then you chose to comply, despite going through your phone without our permission and claiming your frustration comes from lack of dick, he's actually being good to you.

“gimme a kiss” you raise your chin higher, he gazes at your lips and eyes, looking for something other than lust, yet he gives in, sealing your lips with his trying to keep his mind away from thinking of the man that had your lips previous to him. and how dumb that motherfucker is to let you go.

gojo's lips are soft, he starts gently which feels foreign to you, but it doesn't take long before his hand presses your lower back, pulling you closer until his cock hits your clothed cunt. the warmth he feels is enough to relish the passion in him, he kisses you harder, tongue intruding your mouth like he's trying to devour you.

the wet kiss also awakens your urge for him, you pull his cock from his underwear in the tiny space between his and your crotch, the second it's out it's already against your folds, the leaking tip hot against your skin.

“nuh-uh you better have a rubber” you push your knee onto gojo’s pelvis when he starts to rub himself on you to spread your wetness on his shaft.

“did you make toji wear one too?” he raises a questionable eyebrow at you, willing to bet all his heritage on the answer.

“he had to earn that privilege” you reach for gojo’s wallet, not failing to notice the black cards and considerable amount of cash, “i don’t know what you do after 6 so…” you take the packs, ripping it open yourself and rolling on him. with a face and body like his you doubt gojo spends most nights by himself.

“unbelievable…”

“satoru” you warn stroking him slowly, “can i get another kiss?” you bat your lashes. gojo comes closer, his nose even touches yours, then you feel his hands on your waist, turning you around till your elbows and chest are against the table and your skirt is being flipped over, underwear pushed down.

“you have to earn it, senpai” he spits the words against your ear as he pushes his dick into you. until a few moments ago, satoru was composed, happy to accept whatever crumbles you chose to give him. you managed to trigger him by saying toji still had something he couldn't have.

he's still gonna go through this — that's how whipped he is for you — though now he’ll be less gentle.

his cockhead hits your spot, nothing accidental of course, satoru knows your spots like the back of his hand. you whine and arch your back, satoru pouts realizing he won't get to suck some hickeys on the skin of your back and shoulder, not now at least, but the night is young.

“c'mon satoru, don't be like that” you look over your shoulder, licking your lips at the sight of him sweaty, flushed and frowny.

the sound of his name in your voice makes him want to cum on the spot, he dips his head on your neck sighing, not stopping thrusting your behind. he wanted to feel you so badly, why the fuck did you make him wear a condom? he's clean, of course he is, he's gojo satoru for heaven's sake! even viruses are afraid of him.

or was it something else you feared?

“hey… you on the pill?” he lifts his head slightly, his voice still muffled by the material of your dress.

“you’re not fucking me raw, satoru.”

“just wondering… you said you didnt wear a condom with him, so what kept you from getting knocked up?” he wiggles his hand between you and the surface of your table till hes palming your belly.

“you keep bringing toji up a lot, obsessed much?” you tease him, avoiding the answer, gojo pinches your clit.

“please, he wishes. now tell me. iud? implant? injections?” you push him away turning around then pulling him back.

“okay, you clearly had sex ed classes, now shut up and fuck me right” gojo takes your leg and places on his shoulder, you bite your fist to contain your moan, the new position makes easier for him to nudge your clit with his pelvis.

“i could be fucking you better, you know how?” he bites the skin of your leg, not harshly but enough to make you yelp, he smiles, giving a particular hard thrust that makes your eyes roll.

“condom stay on, satoru, i can’t risk getting preg—“ you slap your mouth. satoru stops.

“you’re not… on anything?”

“listen you can’t tell anyone about this, okay?” you cover your face, “i had a pregnancy scare a few years ago so… gosh why am i even telling you this…”

“go on” gojo massages your thigh.

“toji got a vasectomy. birth control wasn’t working for me anymore and it was only a matter of time before— well it doesn't matter. you can see why you have to use it right?” you place your elbows on the table, sitting up enough to see the look on his face, it’s not what your expected to see.

satoru looks like a child that just found out where his parents keep all the sweets. he’s grinning, dick throbbing.

“yeah, i see now” he bends, holding your neck and kissing you, he makes the kiss feel like a ‘thank you for trusting me’ but if this was a cartoon his shadow would have horns and a pointy tail.

all he can think now is exactly how to make you his, he can sweet talk you into allowing him to hit it raw, promising to pull it out, then… whoopsie.

the new discovery gives him a different kind of stamina.

“don’t worry, your secret is safe with me” he kisses your cheek after leaving you breathless.

he plunges in and out, a rhythm that has you seeing stars. gojo craves you so much, he’s quite bothered by all the clothes and the need to keep it down, otherwise he would have torn your dress apart and have you screaming by now.

“fuck— keep doing that” you run your nails on his undercut, gojo mewls and take your other leg, pushing it further to go deeper. he sees the white ring around his cock, getting high on the sigh of it combined with your pussy illuminated by the natural light coming from the window behind him.

he wonders if toji ever fucked you in a classroom like this, then he shakes his head, not allowing the image to form in his mind, instead he focus on you, and how your pretty face contorts as your orgasm approaches once again.

“so fucking pretty” he whispers quietly.

you attempt to lower your legs. feeling it’s gonna be too much.

“nuh-uh keep them here” he pushes back, “so tight” he closes his eyes.

you’re a moaning mess at this point, almost forgetting where you are.

“that’s right, let it go baby” your legs shake as your orgasm hits you, satoru can see the shape of your cursed energy peaking then getting softer.

he fucks you a little more, trying not to think about the condom trapping his dream of knocking you up.

god, you would look so fucking gorgeous carrying his baby, all round up for him to showcase around. he would do anything for you, you wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

if only…

“fuck“ he fucks his load — into the condom unfortunately.

after the initial high goes away he starts to hear his students asking where he went and why he’s taking so long, “wait here, i’ll take you home.”

“you don’t have to” you smile, poking his cheek.

“oh i do, i’m not done with you” he takes your hand from his nape and gives it a kiss before pulling out and throwing that despicable rubber into the bin, making a mental note to empty that bin outside where the evidence of what happened between two teachers is not so easily discoverable.

you sit up adjusting your dress and looking around, “did you see my…”

“nope” gojo leaves the classroom pushing the material of your panties further into his pocket.

gojo had the weekend of his dreams, he convinced you to stay in his place that night and the next one too, he rubbed your sore legs after you came so much you were spasming then made you breakfast, it almost made him believe of a happy ending for the two of you.

a dream that was shattered when, a few days later you returned from a mission and stood by the entrance of the school kissing… toji.

gojo watches the scene from above, a frown on his face.

“yeah i was surprised too” he almost forgot that megumi was with him, “thought she finally created some sense” he confesses.

gojo doesn’t say anything, he watches silently as you tiptoe to kiss toji, the fucker doesn’t even hold you right, he keeps his hand in his pockets and lets you with all the effort.

“meet you in the classroom in five” gojo disappears from megumi’s sight.

on your way to report your mission to yaga you see satoru leaning against a tree. you say his name in a surprised manner, not having prepared what to tell him beforehand.

“listen, i— hm… i thought you should know that toji and i are back, so—”

“did you tell him?” his arms are crossed.

“about… us? of course not.”

“why? don’t you think he should know?” you hear the challenge in his tone.

“no, and you’re not gonna say a word to him either” you step closer to him, trying to look intimidating which can be difficult due to the height difference, “may i remind you that between the three of us there’s a teen boy who would not appreciate the drama.”

“look at you, using fushiguro as an scapegoat” he smiles at the look of anger forming on your features, “it’s fine, i’m just a bit surprised at how quick you were to go back to him, that’s all.”

“let’s be real, satoru. it’s not like you were going to take me on a date or anything” gojo pulls you by your wrist, your body hits his, the sudden proximity has your eyes widening, anyone could see you and take the wrong conclusion. i mean, it wouldn’t be wrong but you didn’t want any conclusions to be taken for that matter.

“this is not going to be the last time and i don’t give a damn if you’re dating him or married or widowed.”

“satoru!” you shout his name in a whisper, immediately rejecting the idea of becoming a widow.

“you can tell toji or not, i don’t mind fighting him” he pushes himself out of the tree and past you. megumi is grown now, of course he still needs a lot of coaching regarding his skills, but emotionally speaking, he’s been a grown up since he was six.

before going to his classroom as promised, he teleports himself to yours, picking up the bouquet he left at your desk then teleporting to the fountain across the campus where he rips the paper that holds the flowers together and lets it all fall into the water.

satoru watches it for a moment, hurt but still decided to go through with his plan.

he wonders what would you tell toji if you got pregnant, maybe you could convince him the child is his, a miracle. then when the kid comes out with white hair and blue eyes you’ll have no choice other than be with him, the father of your child, the man who truly loves you. gojo satoru.

#there’s no part 2 leave me alone #divider by @cafekitsune #gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #toji x reader

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uranometrias · 7 months ago

Text

✮ꜜ : ❛ long time coming : aaron hotchner x fem! reader

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader

summary: after getting hurt out in the field, you're on leave for a month. coming back felt long overdue, that is until your plans with the team lead you to a situation that feels a bit too close for comfort after such a traumatic time. what's worse, your feelings you've harbored for your boss have no choice but to come to light when he makes the odd choice to address you as 'agent' rather than your name after one month of being apart, and years and years of back and forth will-they-wont-they.

content warnings: making out. allusions to sexual assault + r4pe (but only in the context of the case). reader has slight signs of PTSD. anxiety/panic attacks. reader runs into a few pushy men while out at the club. drinking / drunk confessions. reader has a crush on her boss, it is also implied that reader finds derek attractive, and he reciprocates these feelings. hotch is very good at calming reader down. no usage of y/n. reader is described as having shoulder length hair (can be read as a wig/weave) angry/disappointed hotch! reader has been hiding her anxiety / nightmares / memory issues from the team. mentions of vomiting. kissing. mentions of elle & the events of the fisher king. no distinct timeline, but can be read as s7 with the iconic team (hotch, emily, derek, jj, penelope, rossi, & spencer)

"Okay, I didn't know we were going all out. I would've prepared better." you smile shyly as Jennifer pulls you into a tight hug. When Penelope had called you early that morning with an excited decree that you'd been cleared to return to work you hadn't been sure how to feel. You hadn't bothered to ask how Garcia of all people was privy to information you hadn't received from your bosses yet, there was no getting a straight answer when it came to the Technical Analyst.

It had been her idea for the entire team to get together. You'd been out of the office for a full month, and in that time you'd tried your hand at maintaining your bonds with the rest of the group. It of course wasn't the same, but you knew that you'd needed the time. The last time you'd joined them on a case things had gone horribly wrong. You shudder at the thought, you had been doing so good at forgetting about it all, but seeing them again made it all come back.

The unsub had been your run-of-the-mill anger excitation rapist, a creep that had been using an elaborate ruse to entice and entrap women. It had been Emily's idea for the two of you to go undercover, the unsub had been killing two women every week, women who in many ways were polar opposites of one another, a trait that you and Emily shared. Long story short, in the midst of your plan to lure and trap the Unsub, you'd been separated from Emily and cornered.

You’d been carted off by the creep who kept you stuck for three hours before the team used his mistake to find you. By then though, the damage had been done. You remember the look on Rossi's face when he and Hotch came busting in, and found you looking bruised up with a bloody face, and a gun barrel to the side of your head. You'd never seen Hotch quite as scared, at least not since everything with Foyet nearly three years ago when he lost Haley and almost Jack.

You'd been too out-of-sorts to hear the way they'd tried to reason with the Unsub. And you hadn't realized your abdomen was losing blood until a gunshot rang out, bullets whizzing past your head as the unsub curled into himself before falling to the ground. You didn't know much, you thought maybe your eardrums had exploded with the way they were ringing, and you'd half expected to smack your head against the ground and end up with an annoying concussion.

Instead, you'd been met with the sight of your boss. He'd yelled something you weren't privy to, mouth moving as he seemingly forced the rest of the team out of their stupor long enough to get a medic inside to look you over. It was like you said, the details were fuzzy, but nothing had managed to wipe Hotch's worried expression as he fussed over your safety, out of your mind. However, if you were honest with yourself for one measly second, that was nothing new.

Nothing seemed to fill up your mind the way your boss did, and it was stupid, and deplorable all things considered. But it's not like it had even been something you'd asked for. It just happened one day. You shake these thoughts of your near paralyzing emotions away, pulling yourself back to the present as you took in JJ, who despite her perceived candor looked great. "Oh come on Jaige." you huff, and you appraise her more openly. "You look amazing, as usual."

She grins, albeit shyly, and she's waiting, maybe for your approval maybe for something else. She's trying to be discreet as she sweeps your for obvious reminders of what happened, and you feel nervous. Most of your injuries had healed up well enough, and the scratches that littered your face had been covered in a smattering of makeup. You felt comfortable in your pretty girl cocoon, all done up with a bright smile on your face that was surprisingly believable.

"Can I hug you?" she asks, and you can tell she's been holding it in, waiting to ask. You nod your head, a quiet chuckle escaping you as the blonde seems to scoop you into her arms. She's careful not to squeeze too tight, but the love is felt all the same. "God, it's been so weird without you around." she hums, and while the rest of the team is already huddled inside, probably in a booth Penelope picked, you're so happy she's the one here telling you this now.

"Now you know how we all felt when they sent you to the Pentagon." you whisper back, and you hear her bemused giggle as she steps back, and she takes you in again. Your red minidress was a stark contrast to the usual business-casual attire you wore everyday to work. Your hair was curled, pinned back with a gold claw clip, hair just barely ghosting over the divots of your collarbones. You'd opted for a shorter do' following everything with the unsub.

"Never leave us again." she pleads, and you feel this warmth blossoming in your chest at the way she's staring at you, almost like she really means it. You'd joined the team back when Elle and Gideon had still been around. At one point you'd been the rookie, the new girl nobody knew what to expect from. JJ had been right there beside you, even back then. She had been sweet, assertive, your first real friend on the team. She'd welcomed you before anyone else.

In time of course, things had changed, JJ had a husband, kids, a hoard of other units that were plotting on her skills at all times, but she was still JJ. Still that same first friend that helped you to see the Behavioral Analysis Unit was the only place for you. "I'll do my best." you promise, and she grins. She links arms with you before you both head inside the bar. There was music playing, some alternative indie song that wasn't half bad.

"Here's the girl of the hour now." Emily exclaims, and it's clear they've already started tossing back shots. JJ's head is instantly shaking in mortification. So it was going to be one of those nights. Penelope meets you both, pulling JJ from your arms and leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek sweetly, before she's turning to you. She's got tears already brimming in her eyes, and you can't help but giggle at the dramatics of it all.

"I'm so happy to see you." she squeals, and you find yourself hugging back despite the sting of your abdomen. "You look so beautiful." she adds a second afterwards. "What are you looking to get lucky?" she asks, as she uses her hands to push you away slightly, hands resting gently on both of your shoulders. You feel your face growing hot at the implication, and you see the way she's looking at your facial expressions for a signal of your lies. Curse her proximity to profilers.

"I just wanted to look nice." you reply and Penelope lets you off the hook. She leads you to the table, and you're just in time to hear the group finish up their hellos to JJ. She's sitting next to Morgan, who's bright-eyed as he looks up at you. You find yourself fussing with your hair, playing it cool as you press your lips together, re-smearing your lipstick as you waved your hand.

You weren't sure why you felt like the new kid all over again.

"It's good to see you, pretty girl." he croons, and you grin. Morgan was flirty, had been since you met him, and if you weren't so disastrously into Hotch, you think he'd be all on your mind. Well, you know... more than he was. There had been times where you'd been partnered together, and it almost felt like the tension was going to cut you in half. Sexual tension aside though, Derek was your friend.

They all were, and despite what your mind tried to tell you as you sobbed yourself through nightmares during your break from work, they were genuinely happy to see you. "I'm glad you're okay." your eyes flit over to the youngest member of the team. Spence is looking relieved as he too looks up at you with eyes full of relief. He's next to Emily, and she's already downing another drink. She'd be complaining about a migraine the next day, you could hear her now.

"Thanks, Spence." you coo, and you offer him a wink as your eyes fall on the only present member of the team that hadn't addressed you. Rossi had made a point to send his hellos, but due to a previous standing appointment, he wouldn't be joining tonight. You couldn't hold it against him, Rossi was scoping the prairie for wife number four. He offers you a faint smile, the group instantly falling into chatter.

"H-Hey Hotch." you mumble, and he's closest to you, sitting on the outside of the booth as the rest of the team tried their hardest to pretend they weren't expecting this. He doesn't say anything for a moment, instead he takes you in. He wasn't blind, he'd seen you before, you'd always been beautiful, but there was something about you done up like this. Red dress, red lip, bold makeup, and heels that showed off your legs, and accented your model-esque posture.

It was obvious that you were still a bit nervous about being out and about, and you were out of practice with being around the team. He imagined after a bit though you'd be back to yourself. You, and the rest of the girls would be falling into a rhythm in no time. He stands to his feet, much taller than you, as you take a small step back to give him space. "It's good to see you up and about, Agent." and his voice is low, clearly as a courtesy to the bustling of conversation behind you.

"Agent?" you repeat, and the word is so foreign. It makes you take another step back, the bottoms of your Louboutin's clacking against the ground. You looked a bit hurt, but you played it off quickly. "Come on, Hotch. I think we're a little past those formalities." you chuckle awkwardly, and you find yourself looking towards the bar. Yeah, you were definitely going to need a drink. He seems to curse under his breath, but you're not sure if that's due to you, or some internal conflict you weren't privy to. You don't wait to figure it out either.

He doesn't have the opportunity to reply to your correction, because you're looking to Emily, JJ, and Garcia. "Wanna get some shots?" you ask, and you sidestep Aaron, making sure you don't look his way again, as the girls immediately exclaim their agreements. Penelope's sliding out of the booth first, Emily and JJ following her example as they head straight towards the bar. JJ's shooting you a knowing glance as she looks between Hotch and yourself.

"You coming boys?" you extend the invite to Derek and Spencer, who are quick to nod along, both men trailing after the others as they head to the counter to order more drinks. You prepare to follow after them, ready for the welcome respite from your mind swimming in circles.

"I didn't mean to offend you." you stop short, spinning on your heel to meet the gaze of your Unit Chief.

"Well you did." you reply, and your voice is small. "I've known you for almost seven years, and here you are treating me like a stranger." you mumble, and you find yourself tugging at your dress. "I mean, I know it's been a while, but geez Hotch, it's still me." you say and he winces. You're not sure what the last month has been like for the others, but you know what they've been like for you. Torturous. It's been Hell.

"I know." he says, and your eyebrow raises, unmoved by his words. "And again, I didn't mean to offend you." he promises, and he clenches and unclenches his fists by his side. "After everything that happened, I guess I just assumed you'd prefer a more professional approach." he mutters, and you scoff quietly. Classic Aaron Hotchner, running away from interpersonal conflict with his tail tucked between his legs. "You don't even seem comfortable with us tonight."

You blink. Okay well he had a point there, but you were trying.

"It's not that I'm not comfortable." you mutter, and you look over your shoulder at the rest of the team. "I guess I just didn't expect to feel so out of place being out and about." you shrug your shoulders bashfully. "Everyone's normal, everything seems the same." you continue, and you notice the way that Hotch's lips have pressed into a hard line. "And it's like no time has passed at all for anyone else, but for me it's like I never moved." you blink, shivering at the thought.

Hotch's eyebrows furrow inwardly as he takes in your words. "I still feel like I'm-" you trail off, feeling a wide lump growing in your throat. "It's like I never left." you course correct, eyes shutting briefly, lashes brushing against your cheekbones. "Like no matter how much time passes, it still feels like I'm there with him and I'm-"

"I understand." he cuts you off, you think maybe to salvage your pride or to keep you from having a panic attack at the thought. "And you're certain you're ready to come back to work? You know you can take all the time you need." he reminds you, and you are immediately nodding your head as you wave a tired hand his way.

"I can't stay cooped up in my house anymore." you mumble. "It's becoming counterproductive." you huff. "I'm ready." you add a second later. "Apart from this awkwardness, I'm also perfectly fine." and it's a lie, you'd been having nightmares every night. Restless, sleepless evenings full of dread, and jump scares of your own creation. "I mean, I'm here aren't I?" you offer a tight smile as you reach out and tap Hotch's shoulders twice, a tense little conversation ender.

You don't want to stay huddled up with him anymore, not while he was looking at you like he was trying to see into your soul. You turn on your heel, dress swishing side to side as you head for the group. You find yourself in between Emily and Penelope, the blonde to your left immediately sliding a drink in front of you. You down it in a second, the intense burn as the alcohol rested in your chest was a welcome reprieve from the anguish and anxiety you'd been feeling.

You forget about Hotch, and all your heavy feelings by the time you're on your third drink. Your heels feel much too heavy under your feet as you stumble into Emily, the brunette chuckling vibrantly as you hang off each other, the music playing overhead lulling you into a false sense of security. It was nice being like this again after so long, laughing at the dramatic banter between Derek and Penelope. You wondered if they'd remain purely platonic forever.

Trading gossip back and forth with Emily and JJ was always a treat, especially as Spencer tried to keep up with eyes wide as saucers while Emily finally cracked the secrets of her coveted Sin-To-Win weekends. You weren't sure what was funnier, the peeks into Emily's life outside the unit, or the horrified looks that crossed Spence's face with every new tidbit of knowledge he learned about his coworkers. You found your eyes flickering over to Hotch again.

He was stoic as ever, but looser than he would be in the office. He seemed to enjoy being a quiet observer much more than he preferred to be in the mix. He leisurely swirled his glass of scotch, and you felt that familiar buzz of warmth in your chest when you managed to catch him smiling as he quietly passed conversation back and forth with a newly drunk Penelope, and Derek, who looked exasperated.

"Are you just gonna stare at him all night?" you jump a bit, turning to face Emily with surprise swirling in your irises. "If you keep it up, he's gonna catch you." she adds a second afterwards and you tense, head nodding as you scold yourself. You peel away from the bar, drink clutched in your hand. You had to get away from the bar for a second, maybe the cluttered dance floor would be the best distraction.

"Sorry." you mutter, and Emily offers a airy laugh. "He's just usually so serious." you lean into Emily, who nods along. She'd met Hotch after you, but still she'd managed to become so close to him it was almost surreal. She seemed to always know what he was thinking, they were in sync. Unlike you, who seemed to always be on the other end of a hard stare from the man. For a while you just began to assume he hated your guts. Or better put, he was indifferent to your existence.

That was why his look, that look he'd given you as he cradled your head while he waited for backup had been burned into your skull. All that went out of the window the second he'd labeled you 'Agent' though. God, how stupid were you? Emily's amusement makes your eyes roll. "Can I be honest?" she asks, and you nod. Penelope and JJ have migrated to the dance floor, JJ grabbing the good doctor and bringing him along with them. He looks incredibly uncomfortable.

"Sure, Em. If you think it will help." you reply audibly.

"I haven't seen him this relaxed since everything went down." she admits, and you're surprised. As if somehow your presence had been enough to set the stone-serious man at ease. "The first few days after your accident he was a mess." she adds, and she's got a surprising about of stability to her tone to be as inebriated as she was. She lowers her voice some as she leans into you, "He showed up late." she mutters this like it's some sworn secret just meant for the both of you.

"I'm sure Strauss was just riding him about another mishap in the unit." you try, and Emily looks unconvinced and unimpressed with you. "He's our boss, it's kind of his job to worry about us." you finish.

"Yeah, I guess so." Emily concedes, and she looks like she's done talking about it, so you find yourself relaxing. "Still. I've never seen him go that hard against an unsub, maybe you're not the only person that's feeling something." she leaves you with that, trying to keep from tipping as she marched towards the group. You chuckle quietly to yourself, ignoring Emily's words as you focus on finishing your drink. It seemed you'd inadvertently been trying to be alone all along.

You felt some of the tension melt from your shoulders now that you were standing at the bar, away from those prying eyes you couldn't lie to. There's this sound of heavy footsteps, and then the clearing of a throat, as you turn to be met with the sight of a man. He looked to be about your age, cheeks and nose covered in a little smattering of freckles. He's got a head full of shaggy hair that hangs in his face. He takes a quick step, sliding up against the bar beside you.

Way too close.

"Hey." he mumbles, and you appraise him boredly. It's not like he was ugly or anything, but despite Penelope's words you were not looking to get lucky tonight.

"Hi." you offer a dry greeting, shuffling your weight from one foot to the other as the bar seemingly became a beacon for thirsty men. Just as you were politely stepping away from the freckled man, you found yourself bumping into another man who'd slithered up to the bar, your ass pressing against his crotch as his hands wound around your waist. A sleazy chuckle escapes the man's mouth as you gasp. "I'm so sorry." you exclaim, and you're quick to peel away.

You feel trapped though, there were at least four guys, they all seemed to be friends, they all seemed to be in kahoots.

There's a third and fourth man joining the fray, they all looked to be about the same age, height, and weight class. This was probably their routine: approach and overwhelm whatever drunk girl they might have happened upon. It looked like you were tonight's target. "Hey, what's the rush?" the guy closest to you drawls, and you wonder where all your years of training have gone. His arm raises, and it feels like he might hit you so you flinch way too violently.

"Stick around, we'll order the next round." the next demands, and his breath smells like booze. It stinks, and it's hot as it puffs across your face. You almost break your heels backing away from them, suddenly feeling self conscious a`nd way too vulnerable in your short dress.

"No, it's alright, really." you try, and you stumble again. "My friends are right over there." and you point in their general vicinity. "Have a great night though." you offer politely, and you're trying to make your grand escape. One guy, a shaggy blonde haired man is quick to grab you by your forearm, and it's like you're back to that day. Your bureau appointed therapist had been talking to you about your anxiety, how a range of things could become triggers and transport you mentally.

"That wasn't a question. Stay a while." You're stuck, absolutely frozen in place as your entire body tenses up. Some Special Agent you were, the bureau would be so disappointed in you. Your team would be so disappointed in you. All it took to turn you into a pile of nothing was a bit of confrontation. You could remember a stronger version of you, that girl would've had these men on their knees for even thinking of laying hands on you. God, you missed that girl.

His grip on your arm tightens, fingers digging into you harshly as you find yourself surrounded on every side.

"L-Let me go." you huff under your breath, and you crane your neck. You spot JJ, the blonde's eyes locked on yours as the reality of what's going on forces her to sober up. "I just-" and you jerk away, stumbling back completely. You're surprised you don't scream as your glass drops to the ground shattering as glass sprays in every which direction. You feel like your ankle's twisted as you fall back on your ass. You expect to feel the embarrassing thud that came with smacking your ass on the hard floor of a bar, but it never comes.

Instead you feel cocooned by a familiar scent. Strong arms are looped around you, but you suppose your lack of disgust at the action is just a testament of your comfortability. "Are you alright?" it's mumbled against your ear, and the low tone of his voice makes you shiver. All you can really offer is a tight nod as Aaron's guiding you behind him. You don't get to see Hotch in action, not when JJ, Penelope, and Emily are flocking you like Charlie's Angels.

You feel the first signs of the need to barf pricking at you, and you know that you need to get some air. You needed to breathe.

"God, are you okay?" Penelope asks, and you're not sure if you are being dramatic. I mean, it wasn't like they'd done anything really. Now you were gonna look like the freak that ruined a fun night.

"I'm sorry." you chirp, and you miss the way Jennifer and Emily share a hard glance. It's not until you're feeling brisk air whipping around your face that you realize they've taken you outside, and you haven't stopped apologizing. I'm so sorry. Penelope's got wide eyes, quickly brimming with tears as you find yourself crumbling to the ground. Your hand's quick to clutch around your chest as you try to inhale. The dramatics of it all made you even more nauseous.

You should've stayed at home.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Emily's cooing, and it seems being out like this has sliced through her tipsy stupor. She's focused just like she would be on any regular sort of day. "I need you to breathe." she instructs, and JJ's crouching down in front of you, brown eyebrows draw inwardly as she takes in your clearly frantic state. Every puff of air that escapes you is tight and sounds like it hurts. You can just barely hear the sound of a commotion taking place inside.

You do hear JJ's quiet exclamation of "I'll stay with her, go check on Hotch and Derek!" before Penelope and Emily are heading back into the packed building. She calls your name, and it takes a while for you to regain your voice. She's devoid of pity, which you appreciate. JJ knew more than anyone how much you hated being seen as a burden, or someone to be sorry for. Pride was a killer. "Can you try and take a deep breath for me?" and it's then you realize your choppy little intakes of air weren't doing you any favors.

It takes a great deal of effort for your vision to be less blurry. Your ears were full of cotton, and your head was swimming. You feel bile again in the back of your throat, and you jerk away from JJ's reach. You feel like you're suffocating, transported away from the random bar in the middle of Virginia, and back to a place you'd fought so hard to escape. You were certain you'd remember that unsub forever. His evil eyes, the way he tried to use your entrails like paint.

You remember how Elle had changed after she'd been attacked by Garner. How she had changed so much that she had no choice but to step away from the Unit. Would that be your life? You didn't want that life, but it was clear you needed something, you needed help. You couldn't focus on anything else, but what had happened. You'd ruined a night out because the act of being cornered was enough to transport you back.

JJ's still peering at you as if she's waiting for you to start panicking, and maybe you were. "I'm sorry." you huff again, and JJ's shaking her head at you.

There's a deep frown etched into her face as she sighs herself. "Stop apologizing." she insists, and your lashes are wet with unshed tears. "You didn't do anything wrong. Those assholes should've never put their hands on you." she proceeds. "You know that don't you?" she continues, and you don't know how to respond, so you don't. JJ reads you like an open book, and she smacks her teeth. "Well now you do." she says this firmly. "And I'm sure Hotch and Morgan are teaching them that lesson right now." you tense up again.

"I didn't mean to ruin the-" JJ's offering you a hard glare that shuts you up. Another bad habit you'd picked up since the incident. You were working on it, trying not to blame yourself for things you didn't cause. "I'm sorry." and this time it's not because of tonight. "I was so nervous about tonight.-" you take in a hiccupped breath. "I just wanted to prove that I could bounce back." you explain, and it's the first insight you've allowed anyone. "I figured if I pretend everything's normal, soon enough it would be, but it's too much." you huff.

"And that's okay." she promises. "What you went through isn't something anyone's expecting you to forget about in a month, alright? It's gonna take time, and there will be days where it'll hurt a lot more, and there will be days where you're feeling like your old self again." she promises. "What you need to understand is that we-" she pauses as you take it in. "are your family." she finishes, and your lips start to twitch, you're not sure if you'll smile or cry.

"I know-" you proceed, and she holds a hand up in front of you.

"Let me finish." she pleads, and you inhale before nodding. "I don't- none of us want a repeat of what happened with Elle." she says quietly. "None of us want to show up to the unit one day and see your badge and gun sitting on your desk." JJ sighs. "So if you ever start feeling anxious, or terrible, or just like you're back... there." and you wince at the mention. "I want you to call me, call one of us. Don't deal with this alone, alright? Not when you don't have to."

JJ hugs you before you have time to respond, but her words sink deep and make you feel warm inside. "Thanks, Jaige." you mumble against her hair. She squeezes you tighter, and you believe it's to make up for her shyer hug earlier.

"You're welcome." she mumbles back, and then she's pulling back. You don't have much respite, Penelope practically tackling you in a hug of her own. You hadn't even realized the rest of the team has left the bar, you were sure the mood of the night was much lower.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Penelope exhales, and you do too, breathing fine again, save for a few hiccups that escaped you every so often. She lets you go after a beat, and you're quick to take a small step back, suddenly feeling anxious once more.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." your eyes meet Derek and Emily's. "Thank you." and you're chuckling quietly as Derek pulls you into his side. He plants a kiss on the top of your head, and you warm inwardly. Spencer does hug you, and it's a shock. One of those hugs that you never take for granted, because it could be a while before you get another. Once he's pulled away you find yourself still hovering, listening quietly as they all decide the night's not over.

You respectfully bow out, you'd had enough for one day. It's then you notice that Hotch is all by himself. You quietly excuse yourself, but you find that they're not really listening now that you were safer. "Are you alright?" you ask, and your voice is very quiet. Hotch looks up from his phone as if he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. You take in his face, and it's clear he's been in some sort of scuffle. Most notable due to the fact he's got blood smeared under his nose.

"I should be asking you that." he retorts, and your eyebrows furrow in.

"Y-You already did." you remind him, eyes darting away. "Why are you over here by yourself?" you shoot off a round of questions, the wind whipping around, and making you crave the comfort of your bed. You maintain a respectful balance, you weren't in any rush to be all up in someone's space.

"I think I've had enough of crowds for the night." he retorts. You don't realize until it's happened though, your hand reaching up to swipe at the blood that's slowly drying on his upper lip.

"Get into a bar fight?" you ask, and you hold your breath for the answer. Hotch looks down at you, and there's this unreadable expression on his face. You realize that this is nothing new. Hotch had never been easy to read, he was one of the greatest profilers you'd ever met, one of the greatest people. But he'd always been an enigma. His emotions were an Alcatraz all on their own.

"You should see the other guy." the classic rebuttal to a question like yours. It doesn't make you smile, mostly because he's not smiling either. "Are you okay?" and he's got you by your wrist, eyes zoned in on the harsh mark the guy from the bar had left behind. "He never should've touched you." his voice lowers, and there's an annoyance attached to his tone. "I'm so sorry." you find yourself huffing.

"You shouldn't have fought him." you say matter-of-factly. Your fists fold up at your sides, your lips pulling down into a frown. "It'll give everyone the wrong idea." you say, and you wrench your hand away from his grasp.

"Everyone?" he repeats, and he looks confused, classic Hotch.

"Me." you correct, "I'll get the wrong idea." you whisper. "I might actually think you like me." you admit quietly.

"We wouldn't want that." he replies, and his tone is far from mocking. You hate that it makes you crack a smile. You hate that he's always the one that manages to get that reaction out of you.

"Hey, are you two coming? We're all heading to Mo's." Emily calls, and you snort at the fact that their alcohol riddled mind had caused them to forget you'd already declined. You take a step away from Hotch, and you hate that you stumble. You were hating a lot of things tonight. Maybe you weren't as sober as you'd thought.

Aaron looks to you as if he's waiting to see your answer before giving his own, and maybe he was. The second you're politely explaining that you're ready to head home, Aaron is offering to drive you. Derek is whistling, Emily and JJ offering you smug little smirks. Penelope is trying to keep herself secured to Earth. "He's gonna take her home." he whispers to no one in particular, and it's a horrid attempt.

"We all heard, babygirl." Derek replies to her, and you find yourself a bit stuck. The thought of spending the eighteen minute car ride with your boss make you want to scream, but you'd taken a cab. Your own car was parked in the driveway of your place. And he doesn't look like he' taking any goodbyes either way. Rounds of goodbye and see you laters are soon offered. "Take care of our girl, Hotch." Derek calls, and you hear Spencer as he starts to rant about Derek's turn-of-phrase.

Our girl. Hotch finds that the words repeat in his head like an obnoxious echo. "Why are you doing this?" you question quietly. "If you're just trying to make up for the whole Agent thing, there's no need." you proceed, and you take a small step back.

"I'm not trying to make up for that." he replies quickly. "But, you're drunk, and you've been through a lot tonight." he reminds you as if you're ditsy or something. "It wouldn't be smart to leave you by yourself." he continues, and he inhales deeply. He watches the way you watch him, like you're unsure, like you're suspicious. "That isn't a testament of whether or not I think you can handle yourself... and neither was fighting that man at the bar." he promises, and you blink.

"No?" you ask, and your tongue feels extra dry. Like you've licked a stripe of sandpaper.

"No." he reaffirms. "You mean a lot to the team. We wouldn't be the same without you." he says this bit like he means it, and you can't find any trace of a lie residing in his face. He does mean it.

"Thank you, Sir." you reply under your breath, exhaling the word. The chill of the night finally gets to you, and you shiver.

"Can I take you home?" he asks, and you know you're reading into it more than you should. You know what he means, what he's really asking, but delusion was healthy every now and again, right?

"Y-Yeah." your head nods, voice wavering slightly as you take hold of the bottom of your dress. "Yes." you say more firmly.

"Okay." you stand there for a few moments more, passing charged glances back and forth. "You never answered my question earlier." is what he says to break the moment. "About how you were doing..." he proceeds. "I've asked you twice, and both times you-"

"Deflected?" you offer, and his head nods. "I guess I'm just scared you'll see right through whatever my answer is." you admit, and you cross your arms, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. "Emily and JJ will at least humor me." you explain. "Penelope won't ask... mostly because she's scared of the answer." you chuckle awkwardly. "Derek and Spence, well I guess they're like you too... but you're here, and they're not... so here we are."

Hotch appraises you for a second, but he doesn't say much else. You're grateful for that, but equal parts annoyed that he wasn't leaping to tell you that you were harder to read than you thought. No such luck. Still, you're surprised when Hotch grabs you by your arm, much gentler than earlier, and he's slowing his stride to be in step with yours. You don't realize you've leaned fully into his side until you feel him tense up. He doesn't say anything though.

A win is a win.

You didn't know much about the inner workings of Aaron Hotchner's mind, but you did know that if he was uncomfortable with your proximity, he would have said so. The walk back to Hotch's car is silent. At least outwardly, inside you were panicking. He opens the passenger side for you, and you imagine a world where this was normal. Where it didn't take you being hit on by sleazy men at a bar to be having these moments with Hotch. But it was impossible.

"Did it hurt?" you ask, once the car is moving. He's adjusted the temperature, a soothing warm pooling from the vents. You're surprised at how quickly he drives, you'd half expected him to be one of those slow as molasses drivers. Hotch looks over at you incredulously, his eyebrows raise, but he doesn't look agitated nor annoyed with you breaking the silence again.

"You'll have to be more specific." he replies, and you hum. You pause for a second, trying to find the right words. At the last second you decide saying it straight would be just as good as anything else.

"Punching that guy?" you ask, and Hotch's lips quirk upwards, he was amused with you. In truth, he had no idea what he was thinking. As soon as the girls had ushered you away, he'd found himself swinging before he could think of the repercussions. All he knew was that you'd sounded scared, you'd sounded unlike yourself in a way that made him angry. Everyone saw how you had changed, the elephant in the room was hard to ignore. But you were trying, he could give you that.

"No." he mumbles, and that likely has a lot to do with the fact that he hasn't come down. He's still on edge, still watching you like you might at any moment start spiraling. "Besides, it was worth it." and he says this a bit under his breath, you hear it all the same. "I doubt he'll try it again." he admits, and you feel liberated. It was nice to have someone fighting for you, fighting the fights you weren't capable of.

"Thanks, Hotch." you hum, and it triggers a yawn.

"Back to Hotch?" he asks, and you look over at him confused. You kick your feet back and forth, careful not to dig your heels into the plush of the car's floor.

"Would you prefer I call you sir?" you ask, and he is tapping on the brake, the car slowly peeling to a stop as you come up on a red light.

"No." he answers sternly. "It's not like you." he admits, and the light is turning green again. He steps lightly on the gas, the car surging forward "Especially if you're only calling me Sir, as payback for me calling you Agent." he says, and even though you had tried your hand at pretending the greeting hadn't bothered you, it was obvious he had read right through you.

"Why'd you do that?" you question and your tone is a lot more clipped than you had intended.

"So it did offend you?" he retorts, and you feel anger flaring up. You swallow this feeling, hands balling up by your side.

"Hotch." you snap, and he smirks fully, eyes back on the road. "Can you be serious, please?" you ask, and you probably sound pitiful.

"The last month I've just been..." he trails off momentarily, and you wonder if he's emotional, or just being dramatic. "I should have known better." he expresses. "I should've been there to make sure that what happened didn't." he says, and you tense up. "He never should have gotten the chance to get close enough to cart you off." he completes his thought, and you're shocked. You never would have guessed Hotch blames himself for what happened to you.

"That wasn't your fault." you promise, and you mean it. You'd never once thought of blaming Hotch for what went down. "You were confident in the plan, you were putting your faith in the team."

"There is a very thin line between confidence and arrogance." He rebuttals instantly. "We got cocky, and you suffered because of it." he looks so destroyed as he says this. "And then you showed up tonight, and tried to pretend everything was fine." he notes as you remain silent. "It just reminded me that we're too close." he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. "The longer you stay in the unit, the more you become numb to the things we see. You start to ignore the signs that you're not alright." he says, and you'd never thought of it that way.

"Hotch..." you exhale.

"I called you Agent to set up a boundary, or at least I tried." he says this like he's beating himself up. "But then I saw the way it hurt you." and he looks ashamed. "And I never want to be someone who does that to you." you're warring with your heart then. "So I wont do it again." he promises, and he looks to you briefly. "I'll call you by your name, I won't deflect." he adds as your mouth drops open just briefly.

"But, it's not right for someone your age to be so closed off. It's not right for you to pretend to be okay just to keep up with the people around you. If you weren't up to being out, you should've stayed home, our opinions don't outweigh your safety." he lectures you. "They never will." he adds a second after, and he's so sure as he says this. He's slowing down, coming up on your place.

Your leg is shaking slightly, that pesky feeling of anxiety creeping back up on you. "We're here." he says under his breath as if you weren't aware. You don't budge, you can't. You have so much to say, but where do you start. Hotch has shut his car off, almost like he too has a lot sitting on the tip of his tongue.

"I just wanted to prove I could handle it." you admit, and you're crying. "I didn't want to be another Gideon or Elle... or Spence." you cringe at the memories. "I didn't want you guys to handle with me with kid gloves. I didn't want you to see me as the girl who needs the kid gloves." you express honestly, and now your tears are falling in quick precession. "I'm sorry..." you swipe at your face. "I don't know why I'm crying, this is so stupid." you hiss at yourself.

"No, it isn't." the response earns him a surprised glance. "It's good... this is good." Hotch is quick to use a hand to swipe at your tears. He hates the sight of them, but loves what they mean. Your heart's still soft, pliable. You haven't fully succumb to the horrors of the job. "Consider this me atoning." he prompts. "You have my ear, say whatever you need to say." he looks over at you again, and seems to mentally backtrack. "If it'll help you." he adds.

You sniffle audibly, hands clenching and unclenching as the car suddenly feels much too hot. "It's not your fault, okay?" you repeat, and you say it with more certainty. "I just need you to know that." you sniffle again, but your tears keep falling, even as you try to blink them away. "Hotch, you're our leader for a reason, and you were there to save me that night, and you were here to save me tonight." you remind him. "I don't want you to pull back, not when I'm finally making some progress with cracking that hard exterior of yours."

Hotch's lips quirk at your words, and he looks down at his lap. "I've never meant to pull back from you." the inflection with the last words sticks. "I thought I was doing right by you... pulling the band aid off before you got in too deep." he says. "But that was wrong of me, I can admit to that. I'm sorry." and his apologies are like kisses. They wash over you, and force you to believe him.

"Don't apologize to me." you plead, "Just promise not to leave me behind, treat me like an outsider again." you continue as his head nods, and you can trust that he's listening.

"I can do that." he promises.

That seems to be the key to unlocking the dam of your emotions. You choke on the feelings, a quiet sob escaping you as you clasp a hand over your mouth. How dramatic, and pathetic, and God awful were all these feelings. But they'd been years in the making, right?

"Are you alright?." he asks under his breath, worry palpable.

"Do you know that the only thing that kept me from losing it that day was you?" you ask, and your boldness won't leave you, clearly it was now or never. "You told me to 'keep breathing'... you said it over and over and over, and I listened." you explain, and he remembers the day too well. "Even though everything hurt like hell, and there was so much blood." you reminisce. "And I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy, but there was this look." you exhale sadly. "This look you had on your face that made me think... 'maybe it's not just me'"

It isn't. He knows that instantly. You've plagued his mind so severely for so long that he can just barely remember a time where you weren't one of the only things he thought about, worried about, cared about. But he had his post to think about, he was the Unit Chief, your boss, your superior. What would the team think? What would Strauss think? Did it matter? In the grand scheme of things, did those worries outweigh his need, his innate desire to see you safe and protected from harm? Absolutely not. So what was the real problem?

"Hotch..." you inhale deeply, voice cracking distractingly as he gives you his full attention. Something you'd dreamed of, wanted more than anything since the first time you'd ever laid eyes on him. "Aaron." you correct, and you breathe again. "I've been thinking of how to say this... i've been rehearsing it over and over again, because I wanted to get it right, and I just knew tonight would be the night I'd have to have the balls to either say it or let it go forever." you admit.

"Say it..." and he's rushing you, but you suppose that's deserved. You were still stalling, dragging this out way more than you needed to.

"I'm in love with you." and it was out there, and you couldn't take it back. You stare him down, worried about his reaction, about how he would respond. "And it took me getting hurt, and being sent home, away from the team for me to realize." you inhale shakily. "I kept having these-these dreams about that night. All these different scenarios about how things could've turned out different, how I could've died had one thing been out of place." you process.

"You're the reason I'm still here, you're the reason why this team can function, and you're the reason why I- why I came tonight even though my anxiety told me it wasn't safe. Because, somehow I knew that as long as you were here... I'd be okay, and I am." you say, and it's a lot, too much maybe. His reaction is hard to read at first, face just as stoic as most times, but his eyes.... his eyes hold the truth. They melt, pools of warm honey dancing in the darkness residing there.

"And it's inappropriate... and wrong... and silly... but- I couldn't go another day without you knowing, without you hearing from me." you explain. "When you came up to the bar tonight I just... I've never felt this way before... lucky, protected, safe.... and-and I'm not asking for anything from you... I'm not expecting something in return, I just wanted to get it out there... I think we both know it's been a long time coming..." and your words are being swallowed as Aaron leans forward. The middle console is a bridge, a roadblock.

It doesn't deter him though, not from using a hand to gently cup your face, mouth slotting against yours as if it belonged there. You're dizzy, shocked, surprised, but you don't let this mess you up. You can't possibly allow anything to mess up this moment. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two... the seconds tick by with neither of you moving to break the kiss, hands and tongues and breaths fanning over one another as you get acquainted in the most perfect way.

Still, life dealt lots, and yours consisted of a need for oxygen. It's the only reason why you break apart with heady gasps, eyes dilated and fogged with emotions much too heavy to really explain. "Oh, you can't do that." you explain, and Hotch's bemused, eyebrows raising upwards, as his thumb brushes over your cheekbones.

"I can't?" he asks, and he sounds so much lighter now.

"No, you can't. I'll get the wrong idea, you know." you explain, and he smiles brazenly at your callback to earlier. "I'll actually believe you're in love with me or something." you say, and Hotch is slow as he leans back in, a peck being placed right on your lips as your eyelashes flutter, and your heart beats out of control.

"We can't have that, can we?" he's following your lead with the callback, and your cheek presses into his palm.

"I don't know." you answer, and your voice is faint. "I'm scared this'll be a dream." you proceed as Hotch's eyes scan over your frantic face. "I'll wake up and find out that this was all in my head, and the only memories I get to hold on to are from that night." Hotch's lips purse, head shaking in denial as you inhale shakily.

"No, not this time. an ambitious remark. "This time it's real." he promises. "This time I'm here with you to make sure that all those things you felt that night, and earlier by the bar, are how you keep feeling about me." he answers truly. "I'm here to love you back for as long as you'll have me. Is it alright for me to feel that way?" he asks, and your hand jumps up to keep his squished in place against your face.

"You can feel however you want." you reply, and he laughs, a full blown chuckle escaping him as his face seems to light up like a thousand suns. His eyes glisten, twinkling as he looks down at you, like everything was right in the world. And to him it was. Nothing and nobody could hurt you here.

"Good. Then I choose whatever this between you and I leads to, I choose the feelings that come with that." You smile grows to an almost blinding brightness as you reach across the console to hug him, and pull him into your arms. He's quick as he presses a peck to the top of your head, eyes still dancing over you as if he was seeing you for the first time. And maybe he was, that part wasn't your business, all you knew was that loving Aaron was easy, it could be.

A long time coming, but a wait well worth it. Lucky you.

2K notes · View notes

myth1cs · 9 days ago

Text

Locked in (Oh Haewon x M!Reader)

Yes Haewon spread that Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent (Smut! .... Sorry!) Word Count: 5,588

"Fuck you Y/N, I'll do whatever I want!"

"Haewon please get off the table. You're getting it dirty with your shoes!"

You were getting tired of Haewon. She always purposely went out of her way to piss you off. This time was no different, yesterday you made a big deal about her spilling her drinks all over the table and not cleaning it. Today she decided to get revenge by making the table dirty with her shoes.

You aren't much of a clean freak but the way Haewon kept being so unhygienic was driving you crazy.

"And what if I don't get off the table Y/N what are you going to do about it?" You aren't much of a confrontational person and Haewon knows it. You try to assert authority but she never felt intimidated by you, which made her more comfortable challenging you.

You sighed as you knew you couldn't do anything to get her off the table. The only thing you could do was wait for her to get bored and get off so you could start cleaning the table.

Suddenly you heard someone enter your dorm and looked behind you to see Kim Dahyun.

"Are you guys arguing again?!" Dahyun asked as if she was a mom who was disappointed that her kids weren't getting along.

"It's Y/N's fault!" Haewon said when she saw that it was Dahyun. Something you noticed about Haewon is that she treats everyone nicely. Well everyone except you for a reason that you don't know.

"Both of you guys need to learn to get along. Why do you guys even argue so much?"

"It's all Y/N's fault!"

"Oh really Haewon? Last time I checked you were the one being such a fucking bitch!"

"Enough both of you!"

Dahyun grabbed both of you by an arm and dragged you both into a room.

"I was gonna take you both out to the friend groups hangout but instead you guys can talk out your differences. By the time I get back you both better have made up." Dahyun left and closed the door.

"Wait!" Haewon yelled, she tried to open the door but it was locked. "Dahyun quit playing don't leave me in here trapped with this loser." Haewon started banging on the door but it was useless Dahyun already left.

"Ugh! I hate you Y/N."

"Me? This is your fault Haewon!"

"Shut the fuck up Y/N!"

Haewon went up to you and punched you in the face. It hurt you, it didn't even feel like she put much power into that punch yet it still felt painful.

Both you and Haewon started fighting each other. Leaving bruises on each other and tiring yourselves out at a result. Eventually you both got tired and laid on the bed.

"Fuck you Y/N lay on the floor."

"Why don't you do it Haewon?"

"Because it's gross, now get off the bed!"

"Make me."

Haewon sighed, she didn't have the energy to push you off. You both laid there on the bed for an hour not talking to each other. Neither of you had anything to entertain yourselves with and it was driving you both crazy.

You eventually turned over to Haewon

"Hey can we talk."

Haewon turned over and you guys made eye contact for the first time since you guys laid down on the bed.

"Well not like I have anything else to do."

"Why do you always bully me?"

"Y/N ... I just like seeing your reaction. Seeing you upset is something that-"

While Haewon was talking you started to pay more attention to her body. You never realized how ... good she looked. I mean she was totally your type. How come you never noticed?

You couldn't stop yourself from looking at her lips. They looked so delicious you just knew those soft lips would feel amazing.

"Hey! Hey! Y/N!'

You suddenly came out of your thoughts and realized you've been staring at her for too long.

"Do my lips look that good to you Y/N?"

You blushed and nodded your head. I mean she already caught you no point in lying to her at this point.

Haewon smiled and started scanning your body.

"You know Y/N you're not too bad yourself."

"Really Haewon?"

Haewon pulled you into a hug, hugging you tightly as if you would disappear if she let go.

You hugged her back taking her sweet smell in.

"Y/N I'm sorry for everything. I hope you can forgive me."

You brushed her hair and kissed her on the cheek which made her gasp. She didn't expect you to take such a sudden move on her.

"Haewon I love you. I could never stay mad at you."

"I love you to Y/N"

You both hugged each other tightly and drifted off to sleep.

Suddenly you and Haewon were woken up by the sound of the door opening. Dahyun entered the room.

"When I told you guys to make up I didn't expect this. So are you guys dating now?"

"Wh-were not dating!" Haewon quickly responded in defense.

"Yeah sure, I've never seen you as happy as you were just now Haewon. You were hugging Y/N as if your life depended on it."

Haewon sighed "Fine you caught us, we're dating now."

You were shocked when Haewon said that. You realized you two were now official, and honestly you couldn't be happier.

Haewon reached out for your hand to help you get up. You were still a bit hazy from just waking up but you managed to grab Haewon's hand, and she helped you sit up on the bed.

Dahyun squealed "I'm so happy for you guys!"

You clung to Haewon's arm as if she was going to leave you. You were in love with her. The same girl that one day ago you wanted nothing to do with was the same girl that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

"So when's the first date?"

"Aren't you rushing things Dahyun? Besides little Y/N here is still sleepy, he probably wants to catch up on his sleep."

"Haewon you're only 1 month older than me!" you responded in a groggy voice.

Dahyun giggled "Alright well I'll leave you two love birds to it. Don't do anything dangerous without the proper protection."

Dahyun left you both in the room alone. You laid your head on Haewon's shoulder.

"Haewon can we go back to sleep."

Haewon looked at you and gave you a warm smile.

"Of course we can."

1 week later

You and Haewon were going out on a first date. As you held her hand you couldn't stop yourself from feeling happy. Your heart kept beating fast and it felt like the only thing in the world that mattered was you two.

You and Haewon arrived at the ice cream shop and went inside. There were a handful of people inside but not too many people that it felt cramped. You both went up to the counter and ordered your favorite ice cream flavors.

You both decided to eat outside. You felt the wind blowing on your skin as you ate. It was relaxing, you felt at ease with Haewon at your side. Back then even being in the same room with Haewon would put you on edge but now she was a source of comfort for you.

"Y/N you have something on your face."

Haewon acted like she was wiping something off your face but she really just wanted an excuse to rub your cheeks.

"Did you just make that up?"

Haewon giggled "You caught me Y/N."

Ever since the day Dahyun locked you both into a room you've both been inseparable. You've both been sleeping, showering, and hanging out together. Every morning you felt blessed being able to see Haewon's face first thing in the morning.

When you finished your ice cream you clung to Haewon again.

"Y/N you're so clingy!" Haewon said when she felt you cling onto her.

I mean ... you were, but could anyone blame you? I mean when someone like Oh Haewon is your girlfriend you just have to show her love every moment you get.

"Hey Y/N can I ask you something?"

"Anything Haewon."

"Okay ... just know I don't want to force you into anything if you don't want to do what I'm about to say then that's completely fine and I respect your decision."

That night you locked the door to your room and looked at Haewon a little nervous.

"Y/N are you okay?"

"It's just ... I don't feel good about myself. I don't want you to see me naked."

Haewon hugged you and kissed your cheek.

"Y/N I love you the way you are. But if you don't want to go through with this then that's okay."

Hearing Haewon say those words gave you confidence and you decided to go through with it.

"Can you strip first Haewon?"

Haewon nodded and began to take her clothes off. You were mesmerized, you couldn't believe that she had such a perfect body. But it only made you that much more insecure knowing it was your turn next.

Haewon went up to you and grabbed the hem of your shirt.

"Do you want me to take it off for you?"

"No! Please let me take my time Haewon."

Haewon understood. She backed away and watched you as you slowly mustered up the courage to start taking your clothes off.

When you finally took all your clothes off you felt horrible. What business did you have trying to have sex with Haewon? You should have stayed in your clothes. What were you thinking by taking off your clothes? You should just put your clothes back on and try to-

"Y/N your perfect."

You got pulled out of your thoughts when you heard those words come out of her mouth. You felt relieved and happy when Haewon called you perfect. You started blushing and feeling giddy.

"Oh ~ Y/N you like it when I praise you?"

You were a little bit surprised when Haewon said that. You never thought that you had a praising kink but when you thought about it you always felt butterflies when Haewon praised you.

"Well I guess I do." You responded.

Haewon went up and softly kissed your lips. They felt like heaven, you kissed her soft lips back wanting to be able to kiss her forever.

Haewon started mumbling while kissing you "Y/N you're doing so well." It turned you on. Your cock started rising slowly.

You started to deepen the kiss. You both were caught in the moment and you both started to kiss each other more rough. You slid your tongue in her mouth and your tongues started fighting for control.

Neither of you won as both your tongues got tired and you both eventually pulled away.

"Y/N you did great." You felt yourself getting flustered and your cock was getting hard when you heard Haewon say those words.

Haewon looked at your cock and smiled. "Do you want me to take care of you?" You nodded and she got down on her knees.

Haewon was on her knees for a few moments before she spoke up. "Y/N I'm new to this. Is there anything in specific I should be doing?"

You had to ponder for a moment. This was your first time having sex to so you weren't sure if there was something she should be doing or if she should just do what she thinks is right.

"How about you try just touching it?"

Haewon nodded and started to poke your cock. She wasn't sure if there was a specific way she should touch your cock so she just went with what she thought was a safe option by poking it.

"Ngh~"

"Y/N are you okay? Am I doing it wrong?"

"No Haewon your doing just fine."

Haewon started to rub your cock with one finger to see if she could get a reaction out of you. She saw that you slightly reacted but it wasn't anything significant.

"Y/N is there something else I should be doing?"

"Try licking it."

Haewon got her tongue out and started to wonder where she should lick your cock. Should she start with the head? Or maybe the base of your cock. Or would somewhere in the middle be better?

Haewon decided to start in the middle just in case. When you felt her tongue you jerked. Her tongue on your sensitive areas felt great and you felt your legs going weak from it.

You grabbed onto Haewon's head grasping it desperately so you wouldn't fall. Haewon started licking your cock at different speeds. She didn't know which speed was optimal so she did all of them. Randomly going from a slow speed to a slightly faster speed only to drastically increase her pace the next second.

Even with all of the stimulation you felt you didn't feel any closer to release. "H-Haewon I hate to bother you but I'm not any closer to cumming."

Haewon felt horrible when you said that. Was she really that bad? She was regretting asking to have sex she shouldn't have ever tried. She got up and sat next to you.

"I'm sorry Y/N I really wanted this night to mean something special to us." You could tell Haewon wanted to cry for messing up an important moment in your relationship.

"Haewon don't cry." You embraced her patting her back. "Let's try again Haewon"

"But Y/N the moment is ruined now."

"As long as it's with you every moment is precious to me."

That made Haewon feel better. She got back up but this time she was going to do what she thought was right.

"Y/N lay down."

You followed her instructions without hesitation. Haewon got on top of you and started to align her pussy to your cock.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Let's hope so." Haewon said as she quickly took your whole cock in her pussy. She knew it was gonna hurt so she decided to just try to take the whole thing in one go.

"Ow fuck- It hurts."

"Haewon you should get off. I don't want you to be hurt."

"Trust me Y/N I can handle it."

After some heavy breathing she managed to calm herself down and started to bounce on your cock. Her pussy gripped your cock so good you thought the blood flow to your cock stopped.

You both were sweating. It was the first time for both of you so it felt like an extremely intense activity.

"Y/N I feel like something is building up in me."

"It's fine Haewon just relax yourself and let it happen."

Haewon proceeded to cum all over your dick. So much came out that some got on the bed sheets.

She was exhausted. After having an intense orgasm she was ready to hit the hay but she still wanted you to experience pleasure.

"Y/N sit up and let me try to suck your dick again."

"Haewon that's the least of my worries. My time can come another time right now let's just get some rest."

She nodded and fell asleep on top of you.

A few years later

You and Haewon had just finished moving all of your stuff into your new house. After college you and Haewon decided to live together and move into a home together. The rest of your friend group lived separately but you all didn't live far from each other so you guys would see each other every now and then.

"Let's start unpacking Y/N."

You started to help Haewon unpack and as you went through all your things you couldn't help but to think about the past. Honestly so many things fell in place for you and Haewon to even be together. You had to had picked the same college, you guys were randomly assigned roommates, and it just so happened you shared a friend that decided to lock you both in a room. You were grateful for Dahyun as if she had never locked you in that room with Haewon. Well who knows how your life would've turned out.

"Reminiscing about the past Y/N?"

"Yeah I was just thinking about us and how we even came to be you know?"

"I remember, I remember when we first did it. We were so inexperienced."

"Don't remind me Haewon! I prefer to think that night never happened."

You and Haewon started to talk about the past and talk about old memories. Suddenly you heard the doorbell ring.

You got up and went to open the door. When you opened the door and saw one of your friends from your friend group Lily Morrow.

"Y/N it's so nice to see you!"

"It's nice to see you to Lily."

"Where's Haewon?"

"She's unpacking in the living room."

"Want to help me scare her?"

You walked back into the room and went back to help Haewon with the unpacking.

"Who was at the door Y/N?"

"It was just a sales person."

"Ugh I hate sales people. Like why are they bothering us on our own property."

While Haewon was complaining Lily suddenly came up behind her.

"Surprise!"

"Yah!"

"L-Lily! Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry Haewon I couldn't resist."

"Did you plan this with her Y/N?"

"Perhaps."

"You're gonna pay for that."

You knew exactly what Haewon meant.

"Anyways Lily why did you even come over."

"I was in the area and wanted to pay you guys a visit. Well since I'm here I might as well help you guys unpack."

After a few hours you all managed to unpacked all of your things and put them in there place. Lily was about to leave but suddenly it started raining.

"Just my luck. It rains just when I'm about to leave."

"You can stay with us Lily for the night." You offered.

"Really? I don't want to bother you two."

"It's fine you can have the bedroom here on the first floor."

"Thank you."

Lily got up and left for the bedroom. Once Haewon heard the sound of the door close she looked at you and gave you a smirk you were all too familiar with.

"Haewon please don't."

She started to rub your clothed cock and you tried your best to keep your moans in.

"I don't know Y/N. I think you should learn your place."

You gulped knowing what was going to happen next.

"Follow me."

You obeyed Haewon and followed her to the bedroom on the second floor. On the way Haewon grabbed an unopened box. Once you two entered the room Haewon locked the door.

Haewon started to open the box. You gulped wondering what she would pull out. She pulled out handcuffs.

"H-Haewon?"

It was no use she was already lost. Haewon put your hands behind your back and put them in the handcuffs. You didn't resist and let Haewon do what she wanted.

Haewon kissed your lips for a few moments before pulling away.

"Safe word?"

"Lock"

Haewon smiled and went back to the box. She pulled out a whip and went back to you.

"You'll listen to me from now on."

"Yes Haewon." It would only make it worse if you resisted so it was easier for both of you if you just listened to her.

"Now don't move or else I'm going to punish you." Haewon proceeded to pull down your pants and saw your hard cock.

"Horney already Y/N?" You nodded. You couldn't lie you enjoyed seeing Haewon take charge like this.

Haewon started to slowly take your cock. Her tongue glided through your whole length. Swirling your tip and gently sucking. Your legs were shaking you. Wanted to thrust in her mouth but knew better.

You started moaning but you quickly shut your mouth and tried to suppress them. When you did this Haewon used the whip to hit you.

"Did I tell you to suppress your moans?"

"But Lily-"

Haewon whipped you again "I don't give a fuck that she's downstairs. You listen to me got it? Now you let me hear your moans Y/N."

You nodded and Haewon went back to taking care of your cock. You moaned loudly knowing full well that there was a good chance Lily could hear you.

"Mhm~ Yes Y/N let Lily know that you're submissive for me."

Haewon went back to whipping you. It hurt you horribly but something about it turned you on. Haewon started to tighten the handcuffs on your hands to add to your pain.

"Fuck"

There was too much to focus on. The pain you felt was horrible but at the same time Haewon gave you the best pleasure you had ever felt. Your cock started twitching in her mouth and she pulled out.

"Who knows Y/N maybe I'll leave you like this as punishment for earlier."

"Please~"

Haewon pushed you onto the bed and got on top of you. She started to strip her clothes and you couldn't help but stare.

"You're really excited to see me naked huh?"

You blushed and nodded.

Haewon smirked and deliberately started going slower.

"Please don't tease me Haewon."

Haewon smacked your face.

"Since when do you order me around?"

"I don't.."

"Don't speak up unless I say so."

Haewon went back to undressing and after what felt like hours she finally took off all her clothes off.

Haewon sat on top of you and you started to struggle to breathe.

"If you want to be able to breathe properly eat me out."

You started eating Haewon out as fast as possible. You slurped down every bit of juice from her pussy and ran your tongue all over it. Haewon was lost in her own world. Her legs were shaking and she held onto your head for support.

As you felt yourself suffocating Haewon squirted all over you and got off you. You gasped for air and tried to regain composure.

Haewon however didn't have any interest in letting you rest.

"Get up Y/N and let me get those handcuffs off you."

With low energy you sat yourself up and Haewon grabbed the key and freed you from the handcuffs. She also took this chance to take off your shirt.

Haewon got up and went back to the box and reached for something else. She ended up pulling out a blindfold and some ropes.

You gulped. It was far from your favorite activity but you wanted to make Haewon happy.

Haewon tied up your arms and legs. She put the blindfold on you before she got on your dick and started riding you.

She whipped you repeatedly. It stung you horribly but for the sake of Haewon's pleasure you didn't want to use your safe word.

"Fuck Y/N I'm gonna cum!"

Haewon was sadistic which you were fine with but you felt the pain becoming more unbearable overriding your enjoyment. You tried holding out until Haewon came.

But you reached your breaking point. Your body was bruised badly. If Haewon whipped you one more time you felt like you would break.

"Lock! Lock! Haewon please stop!" You yelled in pain unable to take much more of Haewon's sadistic tendencies.

Haewon was snapped out of her trance and quickly got off you. She untied the ropes and took off your blindfold.

"Y/N are you okay?! I'm sorry I got ahead of myself." Haewon was sad when she saw a few tears on you.

"I-I'm fine Haewon."

"No you're not! Come on Y/N let me fix you a hot bath."

Haewon helped you get into the bathroom into the bathtub. She started the warm water to help you relax.

"Thank you Haewon."

"Don't mention it Y/N. I should be sorry to you. I got carried away."

Haewon got in the bath with you and embraced you lovingly. She kissed you in the spot where she smacked you earlier.

"I love you Y/N please don't ever hold off from using your safe word."

"I promise I won't next time Haewon."

You both sat in silence until Haewon remembered something.

"Y/N you did great back there."

To say you were a bit surprised would be an understatement. But it also warmed your heart that Haewon still remembered when you told her you had a bit of a praising kink all those years ago.

"Y/N you are perfect I love you so much."

You felt yourself getting worked up from Haewon's compliments and started to feel your cock rising.

"Want me to make you cum?"

You nodded

Haewon and you got out of the bath. She got to her knees and started to give your cock all the attention she could. You started thrusting in and out of her mouth. Her tight throat felt amazing and you felt closer to release.

You increased your thrusts and Haewon started to deep throat your cock. You ended up spreading your cum all over Haewon's mouth and she swallowed every last drop.

"Your cum is amazing thank you Y/N."

You both dried yourselves before going to sleep together naked.

The next day you were both woken up by Lily's yelling downstairs.

"Haewon Y/N! I made pancakes!"

You both got dressed and went downstairs. You saw the pancakes Lily made and went to eat them.

"Thank you so much Lily. You shouldn't have." You said before eating her pancakes.

"Well it's the least I could do for you guys. Besides I'm sure you guys need the energy after last night."

You and Haewon blushed.

"You heard us?" Haewon said surprised

Lily chuckled "Of course I did. My room was directly under yours. I didn't know you were sadistic like that Haewon."

Haewon couldn't make eye contact with Lily and ate her pancakes with her head down.

One year later

You were nervous.

Today was the day you would propose to Haewon. You ran the scenario multiple times throughout your head.

Step 1: Go to the outdoor venue you rented out for the day and set up the place with Lily.

Step 2: Dahyun picks up Haewon to take her to a "Fancy restaurant"

Step 3: Dahyun tells Haewon that she needs to "Pick up her friend" as an excuse so she can head to the venue.

Step 4: If everything goes well you and Lily should be done by the time Haewon and Dahyun get their and you propose to Haewon.

It should be simple enough.

When you arrive at the venue you notice Lily is not there. Panicking you call her.

"Where are you?!"

"My car broke down!"

You started panicking. Lily was in charge of bringing all the decorations. The venue only had some basic decorations but you wanted to go all out as this would be an important moment in your life. Should you try to pick Lily up? No she lives too far away, you probably won't make it back in time.

Should you tell Dahyun to try to stall for more time? But Haewon would be suspicious if after Dahyun gets a call she suddenly starts stalling.

You checked the time and saw you only had 20 minutes before Dahyun and Haewon would get to the venue.

You were about to have a break down. How could everything go bad on such an important day?

15 minutes passed. Only five more minutes until Haewon and Dahyun arrived. You were contemplating whether you should try to propose another day or if you should just try to make do with what you already have.

Suddenly you heard people scream your name.

"Y/N!!!!"

Looking in the direction of where the sounds were coming from you saw Lily and Bae running towards you.

"Lily and Bae? What are you guys doing here?"

Lily was out of breath "I called Bae to pick me up. We were speeding our way here. And then we ran the rest of the way since the closest parking lot was far."

Bae suddenly interrupted Lily "Guys we're running out of time we need to decorate now!"

All of you started setting up the venue. You had to cut some corners as you didn't have time on your side anymore.

You got a text from Dahyun telling you that she arrived. Lily and Bae quickly went to hide and you tried to get yourself ready as you went to hide.

"Dahyun why is your friend here anyways."

"They had to help out someone set up for an event."

"I don't see them."

"Hold on I need to use the restroom Haewon. Try looking around for them."

Once Dahyun left the area you came out from hiding.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?"

"Haewon I need to tell you something."

"What do you need to tell me?"

"I-I don't think our relationship will work out if we stay like this."

Haewon was shocked. She grabbed your hands while looking as if she was about to cry.

"What do you mean Y/N."

"Ever since we graduated from college I truly loved you. I love everything we've done together and honestly I've made memories I will never forget with you. But we can't keep going ... at least not like this."

Tears fell down Haewon's eyes. She was crushed fearing your next words.

"Y/N please don't leave me! I promise I can fix everything just name it."

"Haewon I can't let you be my girlfriend ... I want you to be my wife."

You got down on your knees pulling out the ring you bought.

"Will you be mine Haewon?"

Haewon looked at you. You couldn't make out her facial expressions. You held your breath waiting for her answer.

"Y/N fuck you! Don't ever scare me like that again! Of course I'll be your wife Y/N."

Haewon took the ring and put it on. You breathed a huge sigh of relief and pulled her into a hug. Lily, Bae, and Dahyun came up to you guys and congratulated you.

"Come on Haewon let's go eat." You said while holding your fiance's hand.

Wedding Day

You were waiting for Haewon to walk down the aisle. You were ready to spend the rest of your life with Haewon. Sharing all of your worst and best moments and being there for each other even in illness you were ready to tackle anything as long as you had Haewon by your side.

And then you saw her. She was perfect, you couldn't take your eyes off Haewon. It was as if time slowed down.

Everything was going perfectly. You two exchanged vows and then the magic words were said.

"You may now kiss the bride."

You pulled Haewon in for a deep kiss. The only thing that mattered in that moment was you and her.

"Y/N I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Me to Haewon."

That night you partied hard. Hanging out with the people who meant the most to you.

Haewon threw the bouquet and Bae ended up being the one to catch it. Everyone cheered for her and you jokingly asked her.

"Are you finally going to ask out Sullyoon?"

Bae blushed and lightly pushed you.

"Yah not so loud Y/N."

Eventually the party came to a close and everyone went home. When you got home with Haewon you carried her to bed.

You laid her down gently and kissed her forehead. Haewon was getting sleepy so you started to change her into her pajamas. Once you got Haewon changed you started to take off your clothes so you could change but suddenly you heard Haewon get up.

"How about I give you a special present Y/N as a celebration to us?"

Knowing where this was going you nodded your head and took off your remaining clothes. Haewon got on her knees and started to pump your cock.

"Haewon this is the best thing I could ask for."

She simply smiled and started to suck your tip. Haewon swirled her tongue on your tip covering it in her saliva.

Haewon bobbed her head. Her tongue sliding through your cock letting every inch feel it. Your cock started twitching and you were close to release.

You started to thrust in her mouth. You spread your cum in her mouth. So much cum came out it was leaking out of her mouth.

Haewon's face was stained with cum. And both of you wouldn't have it any other way.

"Now it's my turn to give you a special gift Haewon."

You picked up Haewon and laid her on the bed. You took of her pajamas and started to lick her pussy and rub her clit.

Haewon moaned loving the feeling you gave her. You licked her pussy and enjoyed how her fluids tasted. You truly never could have enough. You ate Haewon out.

Shoving your tongue deep into her pussy Haewon screamed and squirted all over you. You drank every last drop.

You both laid naked next to each other in bed and shared another kiss.

"I love you Haewon."

"I love you to Y/N"

You both drifted to sleep holding each other, ready to spend the rest of your lives together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally finished this for all the people requesting longer smuts.

I wanted to make this longer but I felt like people would loose interest if I made it too long.

Anyways if you actually sat through all of this thank you.

#kpop #kpop smut #kpop girls #kpop gg #haewon #haewon nmixx #nmixx #nmixx smut #bae jinsol #sullyoon #lily nmixx #dahyun #smut

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penisbagelbite · 7 months ago

Text

"Affirmation" & Malgendering

"Fine, I'll 'respect' your gender, but I'll make it absolutely miserable for you. What? You don't like the way I'm 'affirming' your gender? Guess you'll have to stop being a (trans) man then."

I want to put something out there about what I call "malgendering". I see trans men talk about the phenomenon and acknowledge it as a part of antitransmasculinity but not the concept of "malgendering" itself and what it's purpose is, and as trans men and transmasculine people are especially caught in the lose-lose situation between misgendering and malgendering I think it is an important concept to establish. The erasure of transmasculinity, particularly as a unique gender and gendered experience, also serves to keep the transmasculine trapped within this double-bind, positioned between the gender binary of cis patriarchal ideas of womanhood and manhood, where for us there is only misgendering (being abused with the Woman gender) or malgendering (being abused with the Man gender).

I define malgendering as the practice of "validating" someone's gender identity only when it can be used against them and to hurt them, and malgendering almost always involves the enforcement of only the most negative sexist stereotypes available onto the victim with none of the "positives". If misgendering is forcefully pushing you back into your 'proper place' such as by calling you a "girl" or a "her" and showing you that you're really a woman through sexual assault -malgendering is scaring and traumatizing you into it by using your own gender against you. Malgendering is the realization that you don't need to misgender someone to hurt them or to punish them for the way they identity and push them towards the gender they're 'supposed' to be - you can do all that through 'validation'. It's psychological warfare on the sense of self.

This violence and abuse under the guise of "respect" and "identity affirmation" creates plausible deniability of intent and places the blame on the victim for "identifying that way", so much so that even other trans people will defend it and believe it's not maligned (especially because "but being seen as and treated as your gender is what trans rights is all about!" and "errm but its transphobic to not treat u this way?/ur misgendering urself by wanting to not be treated this way :/" with the hidden message being "don't like it? stop being trans"), even when faced with evidence of the (very much intended) effects it has on stalling and outright eliminating transmasculinity (ie. repression, detransition, suicide).

Some examples I can pull off the top of my head:

A transphobe is talking about a pregnant trans man. The whole energy of the Facebook video is 'comedic', and while calling birth the most “feminine” thing someone can do and alluding to how the trans man is really a woman, they still use he/him and call him a “guy” (in air-quotes). Not out of any respect but because the idea of a man being pregnant, calling a pregnant person a "he", and the very existence of the trans man in question, is the whole joke. In doing so, the transphobe has turned the act of using the proper pronouns and gendering him into a source of humiliation and made the experience of being properly gendered a demeaning one. -

The Ukraine military situation where all males aged between 18 and 60 were banned from leaving the country and obliged to serve in the military. Trans women were denied passage out of the country "because they were men", and trans men were similarly denied passage out of the country "because they were men". With the discrepancy between invalidating the gender of trans women and "validating" the gender of trans men, you'd think the motivation behind this would be obvious - that trans people are expendable meat and it's better they die than cis people. It shouldn't of needed to be said that "I'm only affirming your gender because it allows me to put you in a position where you will likely suffer and die and put the blame for it on you" is not 'respect' or 'affirming' at all but somehow this was taken as evidence for the idea of that trans men are more 'respected' and seen as their genders than others (and are thus 'privileged'). -

A common one almost every trans guy deals with at some point is cis people threatening to beat trans men up (and often following through), because "If you're a man and not a woman (anymore) that means I can punch you," using the proximity to masculinity that transmasculine people claim as a justification for violence. Every other week there's a new story in online transmasculine spaces about someone having their ribs broken with "Since/if you want to be a man so bad-" preceding the attack. -

The above is in a similar vein to when accounts of violence done to transmasculine people by cisgender men are brushed off and they're told something along the lines of "welcome to being a man", "that's just what men do to each other", "that's just the way things are with men", etc. along with the insistence that their attack had nothing to do with antitransmasculinity, making it an immutable problem with (cis)men as a whole - creating a sense hopelessness and that this is all they have to look forward to. -

Transmasculine individuals being refused treatment, tests, or insurance for gynecological issues, especially cancer, despite the knowledge that they are transmasculine, because "men don't deal with these problems" and they don't want "men in women's spaces", and if you don't want to be 'treated like a man' and get the care you need (and not die), you're going to have to go ahead and detransition, change that M marker back to an F.

All of this functions to create contention, and eventually a rift, between the individual and their sense of gender identity. Creating an association between being gendered 'correctly' and 'respected' as your gender (and ultimately existing as a transmasculine person) with abuse, violence, helplessness, trauma, fear, isolation... and by making transmasculinity and transmanhood uninhabitable and driving a wedge between the individual and their sense of gender identity you can more easily drag them back to their 'proper' place. Plant seeds of doubt by making being transmasculine an exceedingly unhappy experience. Make them think that everything that's happened is their own fault for choosing to be transmasculine or trying to be a man. That maybe since they're so unhappy this isn't for them. That living as a transmasculine person is just too difficult and they're not cut out for it, that if they "gave up" and were to be women again things would be easier and they would be safer and happier.

This also all serves to maintain cis patriarchal ideas of gender and the gender binary and police the boundaries of manhood, in a way I can't articulate right now.

Through all this, despite being called "men" during malgendering, we are not actually perceived as such. We are always an "other". Acknowledging us as "men" is just another weapon, and why some transmascs flinch at the phrase "trans men are men". Our own genders are used to beat us.

Using a scrap from my .txt journals:

"[...] on the subject of having a core aspect of yourself taken from you and turned into a weapon to beat you with, with the result being that aspect of yourself now becoming a source of trauma and pain so you abandon it and lock it away like an awful secret, that’s exactly what happened with my gender. Being genderless and a(nti)binary is what I’m most comfortable as, a(nti)gender is my ~real gender~, but I have to admit a lot of this is because I have been traumatized out of any gender with binary associations and have consequently come to know gender itself, and the act of gendering, as violence. Gender is but a designation for what exploitation, abuse, and violence can be enacted upon you and the justification there of. When someone asks whether you are "masc" or "femme", behind their back as they face you is a hammer in one hand, and a knife in the other, and what they are actually asking is if they can pummel you or lacerate you. When it comes to the “direction” I’m transitioning in though, it is obviously “masculine” (as much as a negation of "femininity" is always taken as stepping towards "masculinity") and you wouldn’t be entirely wrong to call me “transmasculine”, though I have been scared to death of being acknowledged as such."

My first encounter with malgendering was when I was 13 and had just started to realize I was "ftm" and looking for community online. My first exposure to any affirmation of transmasculinity was someone I came to respect reblogging a post about how Kill All Men includes trans men. This would set the precedent of the next decade of my life of existing while transmasculine. A decade of only hearing the words "trans men" and "transmasc" used negatively and as the butt of jokes that served to reinforce patriarchal ideas of gender. The consistent and relentless denial of transmasculinity as a unique gender and gendered experience, the denial of transmasculine reality especially in regards to misogyny, and continuous abuse and threats of violence, all under the guise of affirming trans men's genders as men (and affirming the gender binary in the process). A decade of having antitransmasculine sentiment fed to me in every way possible.

For me, the experiences of antitransmasculinity and malgendering from non-transmascs has effectively "chased" me out of my transmasculinity and any acknowledgement of it. For years I have hidden my transmasculinity and presumed "AGAB" out of fear, even in queer and supposedly trans-friendly spaces. I have not been able to associate with any “masculine” language in reference to myself without feeling that I am in imminent danger, have made a grave mistake, and suffocating in anticipation of punishment. I have always been scared of posting any of my art that eludes to my transmasculinity. I have always been terrified of being referred to or perceived as “transmasc”, a “trans man”, of being called a "guy" or “dude” or “bro”, of using "he/him" anywhere. All of it. Deep down on some level I do desire it, but it’s been forbidden and only aggravates existing wounds.

And this, in turn, pushed me out of associating with other transmasculine folks out of fear and internalized antitransmasculinity towards other transmasculine people, isolating me from any community or connection with anyone similar to me, exacerbating my loneliness and alienation as a youth to the point where now as an adult my ‘normal’ human social needs – connection, community, relationships, empathy – are completely broken. I don’t feel loneliness anymore, or the desire to connect to anyone, despite in ways being even more alone now than I was then. In a way I believe antitransmasculinity shaped the path of my schizoidism. Isolating and divorcing me from my transmasculinity and the world at large is what I understand to be yet another point of this type of antitransmasculine rhetoric - because when you've destabilized and isolated someone from their whole sense of self and community, they are much easier to control.

#transandrophobia #antitransmasculinity #transmisandry #malgendering #-_-

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im-ovulating · 1 month ago

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A Jasper kinktober with bloodplay and light choking?

(A/n: Kinktober Day 1/15 LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!)

Word Count: 1,774

Summary: Yeah, your trust could have easily been misplaced, he's an apex predator, after all... good thing it wasn't.

Warnings: Blood, light choking, Reader being stupid

Age Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Jasper Whitlock x Fem! Reader: Trust

------------------------

Jasper's weight is solid and comforting on top of you in a stark contrast to the way he is ravishing your mouth.

Your fingers are tangle in his soft curls as you kiss him back with equal fervor. You're dizzy with Jasper - his weight, his taste, his smell. God, his smell... Woodsy but also a bit spicy; it's hard to put an exact name to it, but, if you could drown in it, you would without a first, let alone second, thought.

"Fuck, you taste amazing, darlin'..." Jasper groans, wrapping his arm under you to press you even closer. As he nibbles your bottom lip, he uses a bit too much pressure.

Jasper freezes before you even taste the iron. His once honey-colored eyes now a deep amber as he stares down at you. His chest heaves with unnecessary breaths as he fights to control himself.

Trapped under him, you have no choice but to simply look up at him with wide eyes and bated breath. You're at his mercy; a rabbit trapped in the maw of a hungry wolf.

"Sugar..." His voice is gruff and strained with the effort of fighting his instincts. "Sugar, I need you to get up and leave. I need you to leave the house, get in your car and drive... now." He shifts his weight to free you, giving you a straight shot out of the bedroom.

"But-" "Now!"

You flinch a little at the sudden volume, though you remain rooted in your spot. There's something about the way he's looking at you that makes you unable to move; you're like a deer in headlights or maybe the thought of being so irresistible to him that he has to fight himself is just keeping you thinking clearly. Or you're just insane... Yeah. It's probably that...

"You won't hurt me..." You mumble, barely believing it yourself. You can feel your heartbeat in your ears.

As you reach up to cup his cheek, your hand is surprisingly steady. You try to bury the hurt that rips through you when he flinches from your touch.

"You don't know that." Jasper grits out. His fingers are fisted in the sheets so hard that his knuckles are impossibly white.

"You haven't hurt me yet..." You reason, knowing that it truly doesn't mean anything. You wipe your bottom lip with your thumb, collecting the red droplets. You ignore the way your stomach flips as his gaze snaps to your hand.

"What are you doing, Sugar?" God, that rasp alone could make you wet.

"I trust you..." Is your whispered response as you lift your thumb to his lips.

"I don't trust me." Jasper retorts. He tries to turn his head, but you don't let him. You swipe your thumb against his bottom lip, smearing the blood on it. it's a taunt - a stupid one - and both of you know it.

You watch with a hammering heart as he subconsciously lets his tongue dart out to taste the liquid. Before you can even react, his eyes go black and his hand closes around your throat as he tilts your head back. His grip doesn't hurt, but it leaves no wiggle room for you to pull away.

"Jas-" You start to say, realizing just how stupid you were. You've known he's a vampire, known that he has trouble controlling himself around blood. Fuck... However, you're cut off as his mouth crashes against yours once more.

Jasper's tongue immediately invades your mouth, tracing the seam of your lips as he laps up more of your blood. A small whimper leaves you, only to be swallowed up by his kiss.

"You're playing with fire darlin'..." his voice is lower than you've ever heard. Hungrier. "You want to play with nature? Toy with your life and my control? Huh?" He lowers his head to trail his nose along your neck, pressing a kiss to your thundering pulse point. "I can smell how wet you are for me... I can feel how aroused you are." You can feel your face grow hotter as he lays the truth out so blatantly. "You like the idea of being so vulnerable, don't you, Sugar?"

All you can do is nod pathetically as he experimentally flexes his hand around your throat.

"Well, consider it done, princess, I'll give you what you want..." He grins against your neck. He gives it a small, harmless nip before pulling back.

He reaches behind his head to pull his shirt off.

"Strip." He orders as he shoves his jeans down.

Apparently, you take too long because before you can even start, he decides to rip your jeans off. The button pops and lands somewhere in the room with a soft *clink* that's drowned out by your startled gasp. Your shirt and panties quickly join them as he trails kisses down your chest.

His hand stays firm around your throat as he draws back to meet your gaze. "Tell me what you want, darlin'... I need to know your mind matches what you're feelin'."

You shiver under Jasper's intense gaze, your heart racing with a potent mixture of fear and arousal. His firm grip on your throat leaves you feeling deliciously powerless, completely at his mercy.

"I want you," you breathe, voice barely above a whisper. "All of you. I trust you, Jasper, even if you don't trust yourself."

Your hands reach up to caress his face, thumbs tracing the sharp lines of his jaw. "I know the risks, but I want this. Want you to take me, claim me as yours." You pause, biting your lip nervously. "Please, Jasper…"

Your eyes search his, silently pleading with him to give in to his desires, to let go of his control and give you everything you crave. The hunger burning in his gaze makes your breath catch, anticipation coiling tight within you.

Jasper's grip on your throat tightens ever so slightly, making your pulse quicken. His eyes blaze with unbridled desire as he leans in closer, his lips brushing against yours in a feather-light caress.

"You have no idea what you're asking for, darlin'," he rasps, voice dripping with temptation. "I could snap your neck with barely a thought. Drain you dry in the blink of an eye."

He pauses, letting his words sink in as his free hand trails down your body, eliciting a shiver from you. "But god help me, I want you too. Want to feel you quivering beneath me, hear you moan my name as I fuck you senseless."

His hand drifts lower, teasing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. You instinctively part your legs, silently begging him to touch you where you ache for him most.

"Please, Jasper," you plead, fingers digging into his shoulders. "I need you. Take me, claim me, do whatever you want - I trust you."

With a feral growl, Jasper crushes his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, swallowing your mewls of pleasure. His hand leaves your throat to grip your hip, pulling you flush against him as he grinds his hardness against your slick heat.

"Then you're mine, sugar," he murmurs huskily against your lips. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Jasper's grip on your hips tightens as he lines himself up with your aching core, the tip of his cock teasing your slick folds. You let out a desperate whimper, your nails raking down his back as you try to pull him closer.

"Please, Jasper...I need you," you beg shamelessly, your body thrumming with a depraved, desperate need that you know he can feel.

With a low, guttural groan, Jasper surges forward, burying himself to the hilt inside your tight, welcoming heat. You cry out at the delicious stretch, your walls fluttering and clenching around his cock.

He pauses for a moment, giving you time to adjust, his near-black eyes smoldering with barely contained hunger. Then, with a primal growl, he begins to move - hard, fast, relentless thrusts that have you seeing stars.

"Fuck, you feel so good, sugar," he pants, his face buried in the crook of your neck. "So tight, so wet...all for me."

Your back arches as he hits that sweet spot inside you, over and over, sending shockwaves of pleasure radiating through your body. You're completely at his mercy, your mind hazy with lust and the knowledge that your life hangs by a thread; that you could easily die if he loses even an ounce of the control he's holding on a fraying leash.

Jasper's grip on you tightens as he gathers you close, his lips trailing feather-light kisses along the delicate column of your neck. You shiver at the contrast of his cool skin against your flushed and sensitive skin.

"You're mine, sugar," he rumbles again, the possessiveness in his tone sending a thrill down your spine. His hand caresses your hip, fingers tracing idle patterns on your skin.

You arch into his touch, utterly intoxicated by his nearness. The predatory gleam still lingers in his darkened eyes, but there's a softness there too - a silent promise that he will protect you, even from himself.

Slowly, he rolls his hips, still buried deep inside you. You gasp at the sensation, your body already aching for more. Jasper chuckles, low and delicious, as he watches your reactions.

"So responsive, darlin'," he murmurs, nipping gently at your earlobe. "I could spend all night making you come undone."

His hand trails up your side, skimming the curve of your breast. You arch further into his touch, silently begging for more. Jasper obliges, his thumb caressing your nipple until it hardens into a tight peak.

"Please, Jasper," you whimper, your hips rocking against his in a silent plea.

With a predatory grin, Jasper shifts his weight, pressing you back into the mattress. His thrusts build in intensity, driving you higher and higher until you're trembling on the edge of release.

"That's it, sugar," he growls, his lips ghosting over yours. "Let go for me. Come apart on my cock."

Your vision whites out as the coil of tension within you snaps, your body convulsing around him in ecstasy. Jasper follows soon after, his fangs grazing your neck in a silent reminder of the threat he poses as he spills himself inside you with a guttural groan.

Spent and sated, you cling to him, your heartbeat gradually slowing. Jasper nuzzles your hair affectionately, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your back.

"That was incredibly stupid and reckless of you, darlin'..." Jasper admonishes softly as he settles down.

"I know..." you pant a bit. "But I already told you: I trust you."

#jasper hale x reader smut #jasper whitlock x reader smut #jasper hale smut #jasper whitlock smut #jasper hale x reader #jasper whitlock x reader #kinktober 2024

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just-jordie-things · 1 month ago

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doing that tik tok trend with yuuta where your bf ranks how mad he would be if another man touched you in different ways from 1 to 10 pls omg how do you think he’ll be

NO ONE LAUGH AT MY SCREENSHOTS OK I WANTED AUTHENTICITY !!!! also i love this idea <3

ok here's each hug from the trend and how yuuta would react:

"CATCHER HUG? who needs to be holding you like that?"

you giggle at the reflection of yuuta's wide eyes as he stares at the photo attached to his forehead from the tiktok filter.

"sometimes panda lifts me up when we hug!" you vouch for your friend, but yuuta's perplexed face doesn't change. he hits 8 on the screen to move on to the next filter.

"can't believe panda is trying to swoop in on my girl like that" he mutters as he waits for the filter to land on the next option.

yuuta's mouth is gaping wide before any sound comes out- although it's obvious that he'll rank this one low.

"CUDDLE?" his voice raises an octave from the offense he's taken by this hypothetical ranking game. you're absolutely losing it in a fit of laughter. "no one should be cuddling my girlfriend!" his thumb hits the 10 with an audible thwap to the screen. "ridiculous. cuddle my girlfriend and catch rika's hands" he mutters.

"oh, this is good!" all irritation washes away as yuuta beams at self hug. "love yourself baby, i do" he punctuates with a kiss to the crown of your head, unsurprisingly making this one number 1.

"no," his brows furrow again. "that's too intimate. absolutely not. nope" he hits 7.

"seven though?" you're curious why it's not lower.

"this game feels like a trap. i feel like there are worse things"

his expression flickers when side hug comes up next. concern, then understanding, then concern again. clearly he's searching through the context of what could warrant someone giving you a sidehug, it's just a matter of who. you find his undertainty to be funny, apparently.

"yuuta, we all hug each other like this. toge side hugged me just yesterday after a mission"

"yeah..." he trails off, before huffing and deciding on 4. "still not a fan. it's still touchy"

you cackle out a laugh.

"they're all touching!" you remind him, but he ignores you as the filter spins again.

"this is fine i guess" yuuta tilts his head from side to side before selecting 3. "self hug is still better"

"i don't think i realized how possessive you were till now" you say.

"i could be worse"

"WHAT THE HELL? absolutely not!" yuuta's fast to put waist hug second to last at option 9. "hip grinding hug more like it. nuh uh. that's cheating right there"

he doesn't understand why you laugh so much at the adulterous hug option, but he's already waiting for the next round.

"this... this is fine," he sighs, making it the second option rather quickly. "it's got to be under three seconds though" he adds as an after thought.

"three seconds?"

"are you sad? why does someone else need to hug you if you're sad?"

"what if you're not around?" you ask.

"then you call me??" yuuta's sass has reached new peaks with this filter game. "easy answer, dumb question" he selects 5.

"NO!" yuuta shouts. "that's too close to my girlfriend! and you're hurting her! look babe you can't even breathe," he gestures to the phone with annoyance, shaking his head and huffing some more as he selects 6. "if i could put this lower babe, i would"

"i believe you, honey"

#yuuta brainrot #yuuta x reader #okkotsu yuuta x reader

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eccentricallygothic · 2 months ago

Text

Coy

Pairing: Daddy!Steve Rogers | Shy Gf!You.

Description: Steve makes his shy girl call him Daddy <3

Warning(s): Stevie is lowkey a lil mean, m!dom, f!sub, size kink, unprotected p-in-v, missionary, doggy style, dick riding towards the end, spanking, hair pulling, age gap bc it's me, slight bondage idk, choking, humiliation, dumbification, dirty talk. MDNI.

Type: Request for my lovely @chxrryhansen, here.

MASTERLIST

❤️

“C'mon, just say it, baby” Steve wasn't sure if the annoyance in his voice was unclear or if you were just that stupid.

“Nooo, Stevie!” You giggled even though you had been whining just a few seconds ago because of how much strength he had had to use and the endurance that had been required of you to withstand the entering of his monstrous cock in your tight little pussy. Yes, Steve had indeed fingered you before that. And yes, it still hadn't been enough to open up your tiny hole.

Not for Steve, anyway.

“Oh—” he stopped to keep himself from saying something hurtful because you were too sensitive for your own good. “Just… fuck!” He abruptly cursed as your pussy responded to the twitching of his dick by clenching around it just when he was balls deep inside you. “Just say it for me, yeah, baby?” You were choking his dick out and his dick was in pain too.

Only, your tightness and his girth made up a pain too nice for either of you to want to stop.

Your face was flush and your heavy breaths were labored, the weight of his massive body pressing yours down into the mattress. “B- But it's wrong, S- Stevie…” It took him all his strength to not scoff at your words so he took his ire out on your poor little nipple that was trapped between his cruel fingertips.

“Why?” Steve's hips nearly collided with yours when he gave you yet another heavy but speedy thrust.

“B- Because you're not actually my Daddy, S- Steve— hnng!” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when you felt his breach intensify, the pangs that were being caused by the vicious jabbing of his hard, thick tip against your innermost spot on the brink of reaching your cervix.

Steve's nose flared and his blue eyes suddenly flashed you an icy look. “Yeah?” His eyebrows went flat but the violent rocking of his body against yours didn't. The room was full of the gut-wrenchingly obscene sounds of skin slapping against flesh. “Who do you think I am, then?”

It was getting harder to form proper words the more his cock caused for the burning knot to tighten between your hips. “Y- You… You're… AH!” Your arms that were coiled around his broad shoulders tightened against his neck to withstand how his huge hand rudely was squeezing your boob. “You're… b- bofi…” Steve's strength was no joke.

“And who says bofis can't be Daddies?” The golden haired man expectantly peered down at you for an answer but you were too busy moaning and rocking yourself against his cock as much as his heavy body allowed you to do so.

“B- But…” Your small protest told him all he needed to know.

Steve didn't have time for this nonsense.

A loud plop! sounded in the air and you blushed a deep shade of red despite your worked up state. Before you could word your complaint about why Steve had suddenly pulled out of your weepy cunt, the older flipped you onto your chest and roughly pushed what remained of your shirt -the beast had a thing for ripping your clothes off, good thing he made up for it by buying you prettier compensations- up your arms and around your wrists until they were bound above your head.

New slick bubbled out of your opening as you whimpered and felt your hole blink in sensitive realization of the fact that now he wanted you to lay your face down and keep your ass up. Fuck. When he took you like that, there was absolutely nothing he couldn't make you do or say.

After that, Steve had your throat in one hand and your boobs in the other, his muscular thighs fished their way under your trembling legs to collect them out of his way. His tip that had cooled down a bit made you jump when he entered you again and though the penetration was somewhat easier this time around, you couldn't help but whine from the stretch again.

And then, Steve went into a crazed jackhammer mode. Your throat tickled and ached from the deep groans that crawled up your vocal cavity, ones that your position was forcing you to stifle into the mattress. The temperature of his cock easily returned back to its previous warmth.

“Say it” he demanded as he squeezed your windpipe.

All you could let out was a humiliating, breathless and incoherent guttural ‘aaaaah~’ as your body began to slide off his due to the force of his brutal fucking. The tip of your nose hurt from how it rubbed up and down the bedding.

“Tsk, messy little kiddie brat” his hand abandoned your boob to firmly claw around one of your thighs to hold you in place to ensure a smooth pounding. “Needs Daddy for everything but acts like she doesn't” you could deny it to your heart's content and be as shy and ‘innocent’ as you pleased, but the way you moaned, messed yourself up and clenched when he said the dirtiest things was not lost on him.

Steve knew you liked it all just as much as he did.

“Oh, my God—!” Steve squeezed your throat again because he did not like what he was hearing. Your lungs ached from the strain he was putting them under.

“Now that's a bit far, baby” before he shook in mirth and the vibration of his body shook your squishy walls, the sensation causing your eyes to roll until their undersides burnt. “But I guess that's okay too” your fucked out mind felt somewhat relieved. Maybe this would satiate him and you would not have to— “But that's not what I want to hear you call me tonight” your chest ached from the wheeze you let out when he finally let your throat go to smack your ass and you could breathe again. “Come on, now. Chop, chop” you cried out from the frustration.

He was so mean.

“After all, Daddies take care of their kids. And I take care of you, don't I?” There was something in the way he worded it. You moaned out loud. His balls began to penetrate your stubborn opening.

And then he crept his fingers between your legs and against your cunt. The grainy digits stroked your hardened flesh. And you knew at once, you had lost.

It was impossible to hold back now. The taut dam of your building orgasm came undone and your toes curled as bittersweet relief exploded between your hips and down your legs.

“DADDY! OH, DADDY! OH!” You began to chant uncontrollably, feeling your knees shake as cold sweat trickled down the back of your thighs.

“Now that's more like the dirty little slut that I've raised on this cock” when Steve really got into chasing his own orgasm, and he always did that after yours, the most obscene and sodomous things came out of his mouth. “Tell me, brat” since you were going through a mind melt, Steve smacked your ass to redirect your attention to him. “Will you ever try to deny your Daddy again?” His hand wrapped your hair around it and your body curved in a humiliating angle as he pulled you up to bounce on his cock now.

“N- No, no, Daddy, no! Never!” Your orgasm was turning into overstimulation and there was not a damn thing you could do about it.

“Really?” You broke into a fit of cries when Steve began to pat-slap your clit. “Doesn't sound very convincing to me…”

“No! No, Daddy! I promise! I promise! I promise I won't, Daddy!” You were curved so far out that your head collapsed on one of his hard shoulders. Your chest ached from how violently your tits bounced up and down.

“That's my girl” The baritone of Steve's voice drilled into your mind as he looked down at you before capturing your lips in a hungry kiss, one tyrannical paw settling on your chest to keep you from falling down, hips springing you up and down like a mindless little toy.

❤️

Everything tag 🩷: @rosecentury

I know it sucks, I am sorry. I have a very bad creative block these days but I am trying my best to clear out all requests <3

#steve rogers smut #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fandom

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barcaatthemoon · 5 months ago

Text

shared wardrobe || lucy bronze x reader ||

you have a habit of wearing lucy's things out.

you woke with a start. the sun was shining brightly in the sky, and the light poured in through the window. you started to move, but an arm held onto you tightly, trapping you in. slowly, bits of your night came back to you, and with it, the realization that you had definitely missed training that day.

"fuck!" you exclaimed. this time, you managed to separate yourself from lucy's grasp. you hated having to leave the comfort of lucy's bed, but you had promised irene, alexia, and sandra that you'd meet them for lunch after practice.

"shut up and come back here," lucy grumbled. you sighed as you turned around to look at her. she had yet to open her eyes, but you absolutely had to make it. alexia would have your ass if she came to get you only to find that you weren't there.

"i can't stay, but i'll come back after lunch. do you want me to bring you back something to eat?" you offered. lucy shook her head as she buried her face into the spot where you'd been laying. you ran around her room like a headless chicken trying to get ready. lucy managed to fall back asleep before you were gone, and you just barely made it to the restaurant in time.

"nice shirt. when did you start playing for manchester city?" sandra teased as you slid into the seat next to her. you furrowed your brows before glancing down at your shorts. you were definitely wearing your jean shorts from the night before, but instead of picking up the shirt you had meant to, you had accidentally grabbed lucy's shirt on the way out.

"what would poor little ona say if she saw you wearing the shirt of the enemy?" alexia teased. she stood behind you with her hands on your shoulders, massaging in a way that made you a bit nervous. alexia had always been able to do that, in a way that you assumed all big siblings could. you were an only child, but when you joined barcelona and the spanish national team, you had gained more "big sisters" than you knew what to do with.

"congratulations," you muttered as you took a sip of sandra's drink. the goalkeeper let you have it, but she did kick you under the table for your comment. "hey, i've earned this, okay? i'll be sure to pick something else up on my way back too."

"disgusting. i never should have let you room with leila," alexia scoffed. she playfully smacked you upside the head, never hitting you enough to actually hurt. she had come close to it once, and a part of you was convinced that she hadn't forgiven herself for it.

"just be safe and use protection," irene told you. she knew that you'd always be safe, having had a sex talk every single time that one of them or another older player thought you even had crush on someone else. you were nearing 26, but they still treated you like the team baby.

"you guys aren't mad that she's older than me?" you asked. alexia shrunk back as she sat in her seat, more than ashamed for having nearly beaten up mapi when you developed a crush on her. irene and sandra had been a bit confrontational with mapi when she transferred over, but the defender made it clear to them that she wasn't interested. although, neither of you would ever let them know that you had secrectly been dating at the time of her transfer, but she was too stressed trying to keep it a secret from the rest of the girls. "i thought i wasn't allowed to date up like that."

"you're in a different place now. i think that spending time in with lucia will be good for you. she's not much of a partier, and it would do you some good to get yourself out of that habit," irene said. she wanted what was best for you, and in her mind, that was getting you into the habit of settling down. she knew that your party girl persona was just a facade, one that you used to protect yourself from being heartbroken.

"olga may have pointed out to me at the last game how cozy you had been getting, so i am not surprised," alexia admitted. she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly as she continued, "i just want you to be careful. you are both my friend, and i would not want to have to make any choices."

"don't worry, ale. i know what i'm doing," you told them. you did know what you were doing with lucy, and you knew exactly where you wanted things to go. you wanted everything with her, certain that you had finally found your person. you could see yourself settling down with lucy and starting a family, she was the only person you could see a forever with.

…

"it doesn't fit. the shirt is too small." you looked at lucy with tears in your eyes. whenever lucy had told you about her final game as a lioness, you had prepared yourself for a lot of tears. what you hadn't prepared for was to be pregnant.

the doctor had told you not to expect anything from the test process. you had been inseminated to know what it felt like and to see if any of your eggs could be fertilized. there were a series of tests run that should have killed any activity, but here you were starting to show with your little miracle baby.

"hey, it's okay. calm down, love." lucy put her arms around you and pulled you in for a hug. in the short amount of time that you'd been pregnant, lucy had been great about calming you down. you were a passionate and emotionally intense person, and your hormones were only making it worse.

"no it's not because i can't fit into the jersey, lucy. i don't even look pregnant, i just look fat!" you raised your voice and stomped your feet. lucy walked you back over to the bed and sat you down. there was no way that other people hadn't heard you, and if her teammates had questions, she was more than happy to answer them. each of them cared for you as if you had come up with the rest of them, like you were a lioness as well.

"you aren't fat. we didn't plan on you showing, and that's okay. do you want to wear one of my sweatshirts out so that nobody knows? i've got one from this camp. it doesn't look like the jersey, but it's warm and still has my last name on it," lucy offered. she took the shirt out of your hands as she replaced it with her sweatshirt.

you gingerly put it on. in your mind, it was a bit tight, but you weren't showing in it. lucy smiled as she leaned down to kiss you. she kissed your face all over as she muttered about how beautiful you looked in her sweatshirt. lucy loved seeing you in her clothes around the house, and it was almost just as good to see you wear them in public for her.

"hey little man," lucy greeted her nephew with a big hug and kiss. "i have an important job for you, okay? i need you to walk your tia to her seat and keep an eye on her. between you and me, she's a little sad, so make sure that you give her lots of love, okay?"

"yes ma'am." you glanced at him curiously as he saluted lucy before turning towards you. he extended his hand towards you with a smile that was all bronze. "milady."

"go on with him, you're getting the star treatment tonight babe," lucy muttered as she gave you one last kiss. you sat in a special section right up next to the pitch, close enough to touch the players on the bench in front of you. a few of them got up and would come talk to you a bit, checking in on the pregnancy or just to see how you felt about watching lucy retire.

at the final whistle, you were escorted down onto the pitch for lucy to give her goodbye speech. you held the microphone for her as she held you in one arm and her nephew in the other. lucy's family came down to stand around her with her teammates. there were a few players that you knew had retired already, girls that lucy had introduced you to a few times on trips back up to england.

"i am so proud of you," you said as you cupped lucy's cheeks. "i can't wait to wear this name on my jersey one day."

"you'll do it proudly, and if i'm lucky, you'll be the first bronze to win the world cup," lucy said. the two of you had been deliberate in your family planning, hopeful that you'd be back in your normal form by the time that the next world cup rolled around. "and if not, we've got some pretty good other options too if i do say so myself."

"how do you know the baby is gonna be a footballer?" lucy's nephew asked as he placed his hand on your stomach. "i think it'll be a singer."

"nah mate, that baby's gonna be the best right back in the world," lucy said. "just like their mum."

…

"lucy!" you shouted from the nursery. lucy raced in from the bedroom, clad only in a towel and dripping wet. she looked panicked as she looked around to see what could possibly be wrong. "can you get me a different shirt please? vincent threw up on mine."

"you can't yell like that," lucy grumbled as she walked out of the bedroom. you followed her with the baby in your arms. you had changed your son immediately after his little incident, but had yet to get a chance to change yourself. "get him out of here, i have to change."

"he's a baby luce, and i need a shirt to wear. quickly please, i'm getting cold," you told her. lucy sighed and handed you the one she had planned on wearing. you were still trying to get back into wearing your pre-maternity clothes, but it was proving to be difficult to shed the baby weight. you were training like crazy, but you needed to get used to how your body had changed.

you happily put on lucy's shirt while she held vincent. you took him into the living room after to give lucy privacy. it took her a while, but she eventually made it out after having to adjust her outfit choice. it was a barcelona team dinner to celebrate them getting another sweep, but also a celebration of your son's first birthday. he had become like the team's unofficial mascot, often resulting in him being passed around the locker room like simba.

"cameras," lucy grumbled as she put on the baby backpack. you watched as she shielded vincent's face completely from the paps as she walked in. lucy had prefected that move, which you were impressed it. you followed in behind them, stopping a couple of times to pose for the cameras. you knew that someone on twitter or tiktok would have fun with it, most likely adding it to a compliation video of you wearing lucy's shirts or fucking with the press.

…

you wore lucy's clothes all the time. in fact, it was rare that you wore an outfit made up of things from your side of the closet. even if it was something as small as a ring, bracelet, or necklace, you had something of lucy's. occasionally, she'd wear one of your bracelets or a necklace, but she rarely took your actually clothing. today seemed to be an exception.

you had gone to the game on your own early to warm up. lucy's knee had been acting up, so you had asked ingrid to come and get you. that meant that you hadn't seen lucy get ready for the day. when you left, she was still in her pajamas as she played dinosaurs with vincent, who also wasn't even close to being ready.

lucy had her methods of getting him dressed for the day, which differed greatly from yours. she let him run around in between articles of clothing, meaning that it was an all morning affair for lucy to get him dressed. you couldn't imagine how rough things would be when you transferred up to manchester for him to start school in september. lucy would be on her own for a few weeks while you got all the club things figured out.

"are they in matching outfits?" keira asked as she looked into the stands. you followed her gaze to see your son and wife dressed in matching outfits. "where did she get that?"

"my dresser," you answered. you pinched the bridge of your nose as you approached them. vincent brightened up immediately, clapping and shouting for you. you hopped over the barrier and took him from lucy, who pressed a kiss to your cheek. "nice outfit."

"thank you, he asked if we could match," lucy said. you knew that wasn't completely the truth. vincent didn't immediately argue though, you assumed that it was a mutual thing. lucy liked to act tough sometimes, but you knew how soft the woman was. you were a pretty big soft spot for her, but your son was a bigger one.

"i think you look cute, and i should post a picture on instagram later," you told her. lucy pulled a face, but you knew that she'd let you get it anyway. you brought them down to the field, and vincent excitedly ran around letting everybody know that lucy was wearing the same outfit as him. "you look good in my clothes. that shirt is definitely too small, but i'm kind of into it."

"it's uncomfortable as hell. why do you like everything so tight?" lucy asked as she tugged at the shorts.

"how else am i meant to keep you around?" you asked her. lucy shook her head as she chuckled. both of you knew that you didn't need to show off to keep lucy around, she had married you after all. she was in it for the long haul, and had proven it time and time again when things got a bit tough.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #lucy bronze imagine #lucy bronze x reader

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smileyoongle · 4 months ago

Text

Pairing- VampireKing!Jungkook × Human!Reader

Genre- Arranged Marriage AU (Sort of?), Enemies to Lovers, Soulmate AU

Summary- Jeon Jungkook was known to be a tyrant, destroying anything and everything to get what he wanted. And this time, he wanted you.

Warnings- Mentions of blood, gore and murder scenes, eventual smut, JK is definitely a hard dom and mad possessive, vampire bites and blood sucking.

A/N- Even though I have tagged the people who asked to be tagged, there will be no taglist for this series from here on. I only tagged you guys to sort of let you know this series has started. It's a big struggle to keep all those usernames up to date so you might wanna turn on the notifs :)

Please find the introduction to the world of Amour Mort here!

You ran through the forest, tears in your eyes making it difficult to see the path ahead, but you could tell you were venturing deeper into the more dangerous side. At the back of your mind, you were very aware that you shouldn’t be here past midnight, and that if someone found you breaking curfew, you would probably be executed by the throne, thinking you were some sort of rebel revolting in the recent uprisings. But all of that paled in comparison to the despair gnawing at your soul.

The branches clawed at your skin, leaving angry red marks, but you didn’t slow down, only realizing you had come here barefoot when tiny stones began hurting the bottom of your feet. You were being chased—not by a person, but by your own thoughts and the relentless ache in your chest. Your father’s words would not stop playing in your mind, your palms pressing against your ears as you closed your eyes in an attempt to silence his voice.

"You're nothing but a burden to me. I wish you had never been born!"

Suddenly, a sharp pain seared through your right foot, sending you stumbling and falling to the ground with all the air being knocked out of your lungs. You winced, letting out a whimper as you managed to look back, gasping at the bear trap that had clamped around your foot. Its teeth dug into your flesh, and blood pooled on the dead leaves beneath you.

“No…” you cried out, sobbing at your misfortune, the pain from your wound shooting through your leg in waves. A thought came to you: maybe this is how you die, completely alone and unloved, with no one to care that you weren’t at home right now.

‘That’s not true! Lila cares…’

Your mind screamed at you, your sister’s pretty face popping into your head. Well, this was true; your sister did care about you. But really, there was only so much she could do when your father did not even acknowledge you as his daughter. You still remembered the party where a guest mistook you for a maiden working in the mansion. It had truly hurt you, but there was nothing you could say, not when that is probably what your father wanted the world to think. A part of you thinks he hates you because your mother died just five days after you were born, but how could you, a mere baby, be at fault for that?

Gathering all your energy, you began to drag yourself to a tree nearby, wincing and whimpering with every wave of pain that washed over you. You could even feel the burn on the skin of your forearms where it rubbed against the rocky and muddy ground, convinced that the sleeve of your dress was beginning to tear. Were you even going to make it back home? Did you even want to make it back home?

Upon reaching the giant tree, you pushed yourself up, managing to rest your back against the trunk, finally getting a good look at the steel trap wrapped around your foot. Meant for animals, it was likely a tool for the poorer vampires who couldn’t afford human slaves and fed on animal blood instead. It was the one law that favored humans: vampires were forbidden to feed on them freely. But nonetheless, it was always the innocent ones who had to pay the price. The night-walkers were given the gift of strength and brutality that they used against the weak, be it you or an animal.

Your chest rose and fell quickly, your breathing growing harsh, and your vision growing blurry. It was the blood loss, and you couldn’t even feel the pain anymore. Either you were getting used to it, or your body had started focusing on the fact that you were dying instead. Whatever was happening, it was not good, and you had no idea how to help yourself.

“You shouldn’t be here. Not at this time.” A voice broke through the darkness, making you jump in surprise, your eyes immediately landing on a man’s silhouette standing just a few steps away from you. Your heart hammered in your chest, and, swallowing thickly, you pressed yourself further against the tree, hoping that would make you disappear.

Was this someone who was going to turn you in? Maybe the cause of your death was going to be execution and not a bear trap?

Your silence only prompted the man to move closer to you and into the moonlight filtering through the trees, your lips parting as you took in his face. He was truly breathtaking, with black hair that fell across his forehead and eyes that seemed to pierce through the night. There was black ink peeking at you from under the collar of his black shirt on his neck, more patterns emerging from under his rolled-up sleeve right up to his knuckles, making you wonder just how much of his body was tainted like this.

“N-neither should you,” you said bravely, though your voice was small and weak.

He chuckled in response, making you purse your lips as you watched him kneel down beside you, your body subconsciously shifting backward even though there was nowhere to go, every single thought in your mind long gone in the presence of this man.

His eyes slowly moved across your body, taking in your tear-stained cheeks, your tattered dress, and your bloody foot, tutting at the condition of your wound.

“This is why you shouldn’t be here, little human,” he said, your eyes widening as you caught a hint of amusement on his face, your blood running cold at the realization. Your breath was caught in your throat, and you were suddenly very aware of the blood you were soaked in, your eyes nervously flitting between him and your poor foot. If you had to die, you didn’t want to do so at the hands of a vampire. In fact, you couldn’t even imagine the pain that was probably about to suffocate you when he ripped your heart right out of your chest.

“Please don’t kill me,” you begged, staring into his eyes with tears in yours, shaking your head when he smirked and leaned in closer to you. Closing your eyes, you let the tears fall freely and turned your face away from him, his breath fanning your neck and making you whimper.

“You must taste exquisite.” He inhaled deeply, your chest heaving as his words made your heart thump harder in your chest. This has to be it. He was going to drain your body right now, and no one was going to find out ever.

Preparing yourself for the attack, you closed your eyes shut and gripped the skirt of your dress, thinking about your family for the last time before your life was taken from you.

“But I’m not going to do that.” Came his voice, your eyes slowly opening as you glanced over at him, noticing the sudden distance he had put between the two of you. A frown etched on your forehead, your tears drying up on your cheeks as you processed his words. He was not going to hurt you?

“I’m too old to lose control over a bit of blood.” He gestured nonchalantly towards your foot, shocking you at how he thought this was just a bit of blood. You were literally going to pass out soon.

“Wh-why are you here?” you stammered, biting your tongue when his expression hardened, his eyes sending daggers your way and letting you know that you shouldn’t have asked him that. Silence engulfed you both, your eyes failing to look away from him. It was almost as if he was holding you prisoner under his gaze, a flash of guilt disappearing from his dark eyes as soon as it came.

“I had to get away before they caught up to me,” he confessed, a cool breeze ruffling his hair as he stood up and stared down at you, his eyes reading the confusion in yours.

“Who-”

“My sins,” he responded before you could even ask, his thick boots crunching the leaves on the gravelly path as he walked in front of your stretched-out leg and sat down on one knee. A flash of lightning struck through the sky at that very second, as if to show that the heavens had heard his confession too. And when the thunder illuminated his face, you could swear you had seen the very face of evil.

“Are you scared of me?” he asked, tilting his head as you swallowed thickly, shaking your head hesitantly. But you knew he didn’t believe you when he let out a small laugh. It sounded bitter to your ears, like he was mocking you for being so weak yet trying to fool him at the same time.

“Well, you should be.” In one quick motion, his hand ripped apart the trap into two pieces, your flesh being freed from the sharp claws that were jammed into it. Dots filled your vision as your lips parted in a silent scream, your chest hurting as if you were having a heart attack, and maybe you were because you felt your body go limp as your eyes rolled back into your head.

Strong arms held you before you could hit the ground, your head suddenly resting against a firm chest as your breath came out all raggedy. You could feel sweat beading on your forehead, your body not having any energy to even let you open your eyes for a second.

“W-why…” you breathed out, your voice a bare whisper in the night. And the next thing you knew, you felt a hand pressing against your lips before a metallic taste filled your mouth. With all the energy left in you, you opened your eyes wide and grabbed the tattooed arm feeding you blood, your attempts at pushing it away failing miserably.

“Sshh, you need this. You need me,” the vampire whispered above you, his chin resting atop your head as he ran his free hand through your hair. Knowing that you couldn’t fight him off, not like this, you gave up and swallowed the disgusting liquid that made your body feel warm all of a sudden. You could hear your heart pumping and your breathing steadying as the blood worked its way into your system, your senses sharpening, and your strength slowly returning.

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled his arm away, and you let out a string of coughs, gasping for air while the awful taste lingered on your tongue. It was truly ironic how the blood of someone dead could heal a living being. How a killer could give life to someone. And you were sure that this man who had saved your life was a killer too. Why else would he talk about his sins catching up to him?

“What did you do that you had to run away?” you asked as soon as you found your voice, your tired eyes glancing up at the man holding you. His eyes flitted between your eyes and your lips, sending shivers down your spine when he brought up his thumb and rubbed away some blood from the corner of your mouth.

“What’s your name?” He avoided your question smoothly, pretending you hadn’t spoken a word to him. Frowning, you thought about it for a moment, wondering whether it was a good idea to tell him who you were. But at the same time, you weren’t a very valuable human. There was really nothing he could want from you that would make him hunt you down.

“Y/N,” you said, averting your gaze to your foot, which was now void of any wounds. Your skin looked completely smooth and untouched except for the dried blood staining it, leaving you staring in awe.

“Well, Y/N,” he started, regaining your attention, “you’re gonna find out tomorrow.”

You frowned at his words, wondering if this implied that he was going to see you tomorrow to tell you what sin he had committed. Too lost in your head to notice that he had stood up, you saw him offer his hand to you. Your fingers hesitantly took hold of his cold ones. With ease, he pulled you up as you slightly lifted your dress and examined your foot, pleased with the fact that there was absolutely no pain anymore.

“This is-” You turned to glance at the man, only to be met with darkness. The vampire was gone, the forest was silent, and you were alone once again.

______________________________________________________________

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @girl8890 @adasboredom @acrazybiotch374 @tutnotmytea @leilei-9 @yoonjinhusbands @kumakoyan @ttanniett

#bts #bts imagines #yandere bts imagine #jeon jungkook #bts vampire au #vampire jungkook #vampire king jungkook #jungkook x reader #possessive jungkook #obsessed jungkook #hard dom jungkook #jungkook smut #amour mort #smileyoongle #dark jungkook

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thesilmarillionblog · 5 months ago

Text

𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u

Part: 9

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: +18!(MINORS DNI), heavy angst, hurt, male masturbation, language, Soldier Boy is an asshole, PTSD, mention of drugs, mention of torture

Word Count: 4290

A/N: English is not my first language.

* This story is inspired by the song "Losing You" by Dream Evil.

Ben's chest began to feel colder beneath your fingertips, and the intense glow gradually subsided. Ben continued to stare at you in a way that defied explanation. It amazed you both that you were able to prevent the dangerous warmth in his chest, or perhaps he was controlling it subconsciously. But you knew you were the one who diverted his attention. While the heat beneath his body seemed under control, one of his gloved hands held yours on his chest, giving you an intimate look.

You muttered, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. “What happened to you?” Until you were certain he was indeed alright, you ignored the firm grip he had on your hand. You realized that he was probably not the one who intentionally exploded New York and that there was something very wrong with him.

“Well, baby, I'm not sure.” He gently put his palm closer to yours and remarked, “It's probably just a side effect of the things that happened to me in that fucking lab in Russia.”

You persisted by stating, “This looks dangerous, Ben,” despite his attempts to downplay his predicament and his continuous holding of your hands as if you were going to push him at any moment. “You might continue harming innocent people if you don't find a way to stop.”

Ben felt a wave of uneasiness pass over him, and his fingers tightened around yours. Because he was unsure of how to use his newfound abilities, he felt like a freshly empowered teenager, and you treated him as though you were a parent cautioning a careless youngster, which disturbed him and caused a sense of insecurity to take over.

“It's not a big deal,” Ben muttered in a harsh voice, trying to give the impression that he was stronger than this—even though at the moment he didn't feel like it. “As you can see, nothing happened. I suppose you were able to handle this for me in some way.”

You pushed his hands away and withdrew immediately when you verified that his body temperature had returned to normal. Ben scowled at the fact that, in contrast to him, you weren't very excited to be near since you two met again, but he felt as though his body would explode if he didn't get to touch you right away. His balls felt particularly heavy under his supe suit, and he didn't jerk off

for days—actually, years. Maybe you just needed to be alone with him to make a step.

“I think it's best that we remain together for the time being,” you stated in a serious tone. “Ben, it won't be good if you blow up again and can't control yourself.”

When you finally agreed to stay with Ben, he felt a sense of satisfaction that kept him smiling nefariously. He reasoned that maybe his newfound abilities weren't all that useless after all.

Ben grinned slyly and replied, “Course, sweetheart, since you're persisting in being with me that much. It would be better if I didn't stay alone.”

As he scanned your upper body expectantly and dismissed the situation with humor, you rolled your eyes.

“I believe there's a problem with his powers,” you turned to Butcher after you pushed Ben aside before he trapped you again and you sat down on the coach. “It is better if I stay with him.”

“If that's what you want, of course. Because of the situation going on in his chest, his ass gave us all enough trouble.”

Sitting on a coach with a coke in his hands, Ben followed you while you had a small talk with Butcher, his jaw clenching with jealousy, but he didn’t say a thing to make you feel uncomfortable.

Ben said, “It's not a big deal,” with an unkind glare in Butcher's direction.

Butcher said irritably, “It might not be for you, but it's a fucking big deal for us and all the people out there. In addition, I was wondering if the two of you could convince your former buddies to kill Homelander.”

“What?” you exclaimed, stunned. He spoke as though your guys had not always held hostility toward Ben. When he abruptly vanished, they most likely celebrated his absence. “Why do you believe they would offer Ben any kind of support at all? Everyone despised him.”

“Are you able to track them down?” Ben asked abruptly.

“They would hate to see you,” you murmured, your eyes widening in disbelief.

“When I find them, they fucking better piss in their suits,” Ben stated in a stern tone. “Noir will be the first person I'll fucking slaughter out of all of them.”

You cut him off, glaring at him, saying, “You stay away from Earving. You caused enough suffering for them all.”

“Why do you defend those who betray pathetic losers with such devotion?”

Since you've already been through a lot, Ben tried not to lose his temper when he was speaking with you, but he couldn't help but become enraged when he saw you standing up for betraying shitheads over him. He had great intentions for the two of you and was the only one who truly cared about you.

“Not them, Ben, but Vought was the one who betrayed both of us.”

You sighed and tried to seem empathetic and nice so as not to get on Ben's nerves too much because his new powers were already causing difficulties.

“Where were Noir or others when you were in that lab while the doctors were torturing you?” Ben pointed a finger in your face and demanded furiously. “You continue to defend those bitches against me, even though I am the only one who fucking saved you.”

“Ben, I won't argue with you.” With a wink, you teased him, saying, “You seem too sensitive for a proper conversation right now.”

Ben responded, “You are not making me angry, sweetie,” glancing at your body as your smile vanished and your cheeks turned crimson. “I want to take my meat off and jerk off at the moment because of you.”

Butcher replied, “Not on my fucking coach,” as you crossed your arms over your chest and averted your gaze from Ben's keen gaze.

Ben stated, “You tell me,” in a serious manner. “Where am I going to spend a week with Y/N?”

Ben was kind of relieved that he and you were both saved, even though he had not trusted Butcher and the others at all. He would have the opportunity to express how much he missed you in every way and would definitely help you start a second time by spending an entire week with you. You could speak, fuck, and do all of that for an entire week.

Feeling his balls getting tighter under his suit, he shifted on the coach, thinking of you in nasty positions, just like in the good old days.

“The location is arranged. Despite the little place to stay, I believe the two of you can get by for a week without needing any extra care.”

“What about Homelander?” Ben confidently inquired, widening his legs and placing his arm up to the coach, his hardness visible through his supe suit.

He saw you glancing at him and smiling mischievously. You wanted to say something offensive, but you knew that he was utterly without shame right then and there and that he would say something nasty as soon as you talked about his bulge.

Butcher sighed. “He's probably scared the shit out of his pants. Let's give him and you two a short break until the thing that happened in New York and Ohio is forgotten completely.”

You said, uncomfortable, “I don't think it will ever be forgotten, Butcher. Vought will try their hardest to capture us once more since the harm is too immense. They may even be looking for us at this very moment.”

It concerned you that Vought wouldn't just let you and Ben live on your own, unaccountably. It was not what you wanted to return to the lab to be tormented and examined for the future of other supes. But you had no idea how to get out of this difficult dilemma. Ben and the rest of Butcher's squad were not people you would trust with your life, so you realized you needed a plan to protect yourself from what was happening.

You also didn't want Ben to be tortured in Russia again like you were, but his main goal was to take revenge and murder Homelander. Despite never having laid eyes on the man, he was prepared to slaughter him. They would never allow Ben to touch Homelander if Vought was that supportive of him. That meant you had to first convince Ben to cease his collaboration with Butcher.

“People in the modern world are easy to forget, I promise you. Also, they could've already found you two if they had wanted to,” Butcher mumbled, trying to soothe you. “Remember, a week is full of possibilities, so try not to dwell on it too much. They won't remember for very long, and Vought is currently dealing with its own issues.”

When Ben realized how terrified you were of having to deal with the fallout from his actions and everything that transpired, his heart began to melt with regret. He was aware of your constant need for a house, a place where you could feel secure and at home, so it disturbed you to know that you had nowhere to go while Vought looked for you and that you might fall prisoner once more.

Ben understood that it was his responsibility as a man to ensure that you were protected and to keep you away from danger. You needed to spend time together before he could help you forget the unpleasant and harsh things he had done to you. He intended to start over with you, and whatever happened was all in the past. Homelander and Vought weren't that big of a concern, and things would be considerably simpler if he learned to use his new abilities. You were needed by him for both.

You leaned back toward the coach and questioned, curiously, “Why do you want to kill Homelander that much?” placing one hand under your head.

Butcher's heart clenched as a mixture of regret and affection overtook his body as his thoughts were filled with Becca's memories. Not that he even knew if he would survive.

He quickly cleared his throat and replied, “He hurt my wife,” cutting it short.

You understood, judging by her voice, that she had passed away, and you were at a loss for words. Homelander must be Vought's newest evil toy, as they have a history of hurting people and getting away with it. Somehow, you wanted to soothe Butcher, but all you said was, “I'm sorry to hear that.”

Butcher turned to face you, perhaps trying to persuade you, saying, “She is not the only one he hurt and won't be the last. He must die.”

“Even if he dies and you take your revenge, there will always be a new one, and you know this,” you insisted. “When it came to supes, Vought always had a backup plan. In the same way that they treated Ben and me. Not even the power worries them. All they want is a toy that they can play with that is practical as well as obeyant.”

“And they'll fucking pay for it,” Ben exclaimed with hatred.

“Ben, this is not going to end well for us. We are unable simply to overthrow the government or whomever in charge.”

“We'll see about that, sweetheart.”

You sighed, realizing that Ben had already made up his mind and that you two would have to talk about it at another time. He would hurt you once more if he carried on acting recklessly, but based on his actions, it didn't appear like he gave a damn. Even though you knew he was always self-centered, you were disappointed to find that he didn't give a damn about what would happen to you if he kept acting like an enemy of the state.

“Everyone had been told that you were a traitor and that you would be placed in a lab to be tested for potential superpowers. How were you treated by them? What did they do to you?” Frenchie narrowed his eyes and asked with curiosity.

You moved in the coach, pushing back the images in your head as you recalled the horrible memories. But you didn't let others see you as powerless or fragile.

You wanted to smile at him, but the traumatic images were just too overwhelming.

“I guess they kind of wanted to take off my womb to create a natural supe baby, but they simply couldn't as they couldn't go through my skin with their needles and everything,” you said.

While Frenchie was obviously at a loss for words while attempting to comprehend the years of agony you had endured, his face turned white.

Ben tried to dismiss the images in his mind, which ranged from vicious hands on you to someone trying to rip your body apart and kill you, while his heart was filled with hate and fury. He vowed to kill anyone who even slightly assisted in your torture, regardless of whether they were Homelander or Vought.

“Every single of them will die,” he declared with assurance, as if guaranteeing you, his compassionate green eyes locked on yours. “I promise it to you.”

You were briefly stunned, speechless, by the intense expression on his face, but you soon gathered yourself and joked, “It's better if you just do nothing,” attempting to break off the seriousness of the moment.

After glancing at the supe woman next to him, Frenchie remarked, “It's getting late. Will they be staying here tonight?” He asked Butcher.

Butcher grumbled as he looked at his watch. “Yes, this is where we'll all spend the night. There are probably enough rooms for them.”

“How about Annie and Hughie?” Frenchie asked again, observing the supe woman make her way to the nearest room; she seemed weary and exhausted.

She said nothing since you entered the house, which confused you. Although you were eager to start up a conversation with the new supe women, it's possible that she felt unsafe in the same room as Ben. It wouldn't surprise you. Even though you felt a little uncomfortable, you decided to try talking to her later. They might realize that you were no different from them in this situation if they truly wanted to take down Homelander's tyranny and those people weren't supporting the Vought like you were.

“They'll stay too,” Butcher cut it short.

Frenchie shot you a hesitant glance as his hand ran through the top of his head. “Is it possible for you and your friend to share a room? It seems like Annie and Hughie appear to be staying. There would be enough rooms if they didn't.”

“Yeah,” Ben responded abruptly, getting up before you could reply. As it turned out, you just gave Frenchie a brief nod.

Butcher responded, “Perfect,” and stood up. “Good night, ladies.”

You thanked Frenchie when he showed you the room you'll be staying with Ben and took a quick look at the cramped, dim room filled with old pieces of furniture.

Ben slowly unfastened his belt while he observed you searching inside the wardrobe for something to wear. His blood had been burning in his veins for an hour now, and he just wouldn't stop coming toward you. He was about to go crazy from his desire to touch you. You were alone for the first time in a very long time, so it's been a fucking long time since you've fucked properly. Ben's balls hurt from missing your gentle moans and seeing you beneath his body. You were finally alone to speak, fuck, and discuss things tonight about your future and all.

You turned your back to Ben to change after finding a pink t-shirt. Just after removing it, anxiety and the chill in the room caused your nipples to harden, and you felt Ben's eyes on your back.

Ben turned you quickly, crushed his warm lips on yours, and began to kiss you frantically before you had even put on your shirt. He was moving too fast for you to react, and you were too shocked and perplexed to do anything. He urged you to kiss him back by pushing your back against the bed and climbing on top of you, aggressively using his tongue in your mouth. The moment the chilly material of his suit touched your bare chest, you shivered.

Ben kept kissing you, getting lost in his pleasure, not able to understand if you were responding to him or not. His hardness was hurting beneath his supe suit. He put his hands around one of your tits and gave it a firm squeeze, pressing his shaft firmly between your legs.

You were in shock at how quickly everything was escalating. Only when you heard Ben unzipping his pants as his mouth filled yours with low growling did you come to your senses.

You stopped his tough hands from reaching your underwear and saved your burning lips from his. As you struggled to catch your breath, his lips slid quickly over your body, finding one of your nipples and aggressively sucking it until you forgot how to breathe.

You finally managed to say, “Ben,” in a trembling voice. “Stop it.”

When you forced his mouth away from your tits, he continued to press his firm shaft between your legs. He irritably asked, “What the fuck? It's been fucking so long.”

Ben placed his strong arms over your head and stared at your nipples that were covered with his spit through darkened eyes for a long moment until you finally gasped out and exclaimed, “I can't fucking believe you.”

“What now?” he asked, speaking as though nothing was wrong between you and that everything was normal.

“Are you a fucking rabbit in heat?”

He questioned incredulously, “Why are you so mad?” as he continued to delicately rub against your pussy with his shaft through your sweatpants.

“Ben, it has been practically decades since our breakup. We didn't even end our relationship properly because you remained silent and basically cheated on me by dating Crimson.”

Ben frowned as you mentioned the past, stopping his motions on you and trying to maintain his composure.

He just stated “We can talk about such things later,” sounding displeased to hearing his relationship with the Countess. “Let us get off some steam first.”

You whispered, “No,” and used all of your effort to push him away from you. “There is nothing left to talk.”

Ben watched your tits disappear from sight while you took the pink t-shirt he threw onto the floor, and you hastily took it on from your head with trembling hands. As soon as you moved away from him, he eventually stood up.

“It's all in the past now,” he remarked, regretfully glancing at your fragile appearance. “We can fuck first and then talk it out.”

“I don't want you to ever touch me again.” You were enraged at how he continued to neglect everything else in favor of only wanting to fuck you and added, “I mean it.”

Ben said, “I know you don't mean this,” as he approached you with confidence. “You and I both have the same desires for this. We both want each other so badly. The way your body reacts to me even now makes it very clear to me.”

You glared at him angrily and ignored his idiotic, enormous ego, saying, “I don't want you in my life ever again.”

He touched your arms and asked, his voice annoyed, “Why have you suddenly gotten angry?”

Observing his continued blindness to you, you sighed. Though it didn't seem to be as essential as you anticipated for him, you hoped that at least he talked about all that happened. But he was the same selfish man who acted like he cared about you, then betrayed you and hurt you. There was no need to make your hopes up.

You said with an irritated tone, “I can't believe I'm so blind when it comes to you. You don't even care how much you cause me pain in every way possible, and all you want is to have fun. Am I just a fucking toy for you to play with as you like it?”

Ben abruptly interrupted you, saying in a serious tone, “Of course not,” as his powerful arms moved slowly over your shoulders. “I want to discuss and work out everything that went wrong between us. I simply..missed you so much.”

Even though you wanted to believe his sincerity, you felt nothing at all moved by it. It was difficult for you to believe him at all since he had so many lies to tell you and so much sorrow in his words. It was difficult for you to remember the joyful emotions you had for him in the past, but though you tried to recall the wonderful times you had together, they felt like memories belonging to someone else now. Something had died in your heart for him.

You softly pulled his hands off your arms and murmured in a solemn tone, “I wish I could believe you, but I don't.”

His voice was low as he questioned, “What do you mean?”

With a heavy heart, you stated, “Everything that happened between us is in the past. It is no longer there. You only want me by your side now because I was faithful to you the day I came to help you, even though you have really hurt me.”

Although it was difficult to acknowledge his selfishness, it was best to face the facts straight away and prevent him from hurting or abusing you in the future.

“It's not like that,” Ben cut you off right away in a harsh voice.

He felt confused, not knowing how to convince you of his seriousness. You were right to hold such low expectations of him; he would not deny it, but he also understood that nothing would change if you hadn't been there to save him that day.

You said, “I'm tired, Ben,” indicating that you didn't want to talk about it more. “I really need to sleep.”

He let it go and sighed, realizing you weren't all that keen on talking at the moment. After all, this was your first day in the modern world, so it was understandable that you were a little lost.

Ben muttered, “Okay, but this isn't the end. We'll discuss it afterwards. For now, you take a rest.”

As he watched you turn your back on him and slip under the sheets, you remained silent. Ben began removing his supe suit with a growl. The way you felt excited and moist at his slight touch told him you didn't mean any of it. He knew that you were nonetheless deeply in love with him. Every part of his body

felt the presence of it. However, he realized that before he fucked you, he had to convince you that he cared about you.

He went into the bathroom, growling angrily as he felt his bulge kicking his suit. Ben could finally touch himself because you were safe now. Knowing that you would find out what he was doing in the bathroom caused his lips to twist into a smile.

You tried to fall asleep, shifting on the bed to a more comfortable position as you heard Ben turn on the water. But as soon as you closed your eyes, you heard him growling low as he stroked himself under the water. He was touching himself furiously because he knew you would hear anything he was doing, even if you weren't trying to listen.

Ben was moaning your name and moving faster as you cursed your supe hearing. As you moved into the bed, your cheeks flushed, yet you kept quiet.

Ben noticed that you were pressing your legs together as though your body were trying to find relief, so he growled and beat his cock more.

Feeling closer, he passionately exclaimed, “Fucking touch yourself. I fucking missed you and your little pussy so much.”

As he continued to talk dirty about how hard he would fuck and how many times he would come inside of you if you let him, your cheeks grew red, and you finally muttered, “Stop it.”

He trembled and whispered while wet sounds filled the bathroom, “Almost there, sweetheart,” as if hearing your voice were to give him pleasure.

Ben groaned and began to cum while murmuring your name. Your walls were tightening around nothing, and even though your body was screaming for you to touch yourself, you ignored the aching between your legs as he kept spilling his thick white ropes in between his powerful strokes that filled the bathroom. It took him long to empty his heavy balls. It was only when he let out a satisfied moan that you realized you were holding your breath.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

Ben knew you still cared and desired him as much as he did, and he would fucking do everything to show to you that you and he were meant to be together.

Next Chapter

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