#makes sense bc everything came full circle i guess. good season i liked it. i heard people didn't which is crazy to me

[alteredbeast]

THAT WAS THE SEASON FINALE?

[tachipaws]

so uhhhhh

I watched the Game of Thrones finale just a little bit ago

and I have some thoughts

spoilers under the cut.

Firstly, seeing Tyrion find Jaime and Cersei together had me almost burst into tears. As soon as he saw Jaime’s golden hand I kinda thought, oh this is a big gag, the hand will be there with Cersei and Jaime will come sidling out from somewhere, he lived thank god. But no. Jaime died in the arms of a woman he loved, taking all these years of beautiful character development with him. And I don’t say this solely as a Braime fan. I LOVED Jaime’s character. He always tried to do the right thing, and even when he was tempted by Cersei, even when he gave in, he still came back and tried to do what he thought was best. He saved thousands of lives when he killed the Mad King, and he suffered in silence for it. He stood with Brienne and with the Starks in the Battle of Winterfell, even when his own queen refused to send her help. He tried to save Cersei from certain death, and their child, tried to get her to leave and live with him in obscurity, because they would be safe and happy and their child would grow and live. But no. They die, and all it serves is to give Dany her win and Tyrion some last-minute angst. But god, seeing him crouch over his beloved brother and sister, I could feel that he felt responsible for their deaths, and it was heart wrenching to watch.

And then Dany. Oh, beautiful Dany. I’ve loved her character from the start, and all through her arc, even when she made choices that weren’t for the best, even when they put her on a White Savior complex, even when it became clear the writers had lied and were going to make her turn out just like her father. I knew she’d die this episode, but it didn’t make watching it any easier. I had so much hope watching through the series that Dany would be the one to dethrone the Lannisters, give the people a kind and just ruler, and be everything she set out to be. For her to lose so much, from her family to her friends, and then die with nothing as well, broke my heart and even as I sit here typing I have to hold back tears. I loved Danaerys’ character so much, and I’m disgusted that she was turned into a Mad Queen. The writers don’t know jack shit about character development and it really shows with her. She should have grown and realized that maybe she wasn’t best suited for a throne, at least not the one in Westeros, and either become an adviser or return to Mereen when all was said and done. I’m so glad Drogon destroyed the Iron Throne, because it’s nothing but a death sentence anyway. Fuck that throne and fuck the writers for making it so unnecessarily important. Danaerys Targaryan was meant to be different, was meant to break the wheel. But in the end, she was crushed by it like her father and so many others before her. The Targaryans die out after a legacy of incest, mental illness, fear, and death. A complete waste of an incredible character played by an amazingly dedicated actress.

Bran being named King of Westeros was something I knew was coming bc I’d asked for the spoiler, but it was still kind of a surprise in an “are they REALLY gonna do it” kind of way. I really fucking hate that his title is Bran the Broken, as if that’s the only B word that can possibly describe a man who defied death and became the Three-Eyed Raven, but again these writers are fuckin terrible so I guess that’s what we get. I didn’t like how Sam’s idea to have the people choose a ruler was sneered at so harshly. It just shows that everyone there enjoys having all the power, which goes against the characterization of at least half of them. But I guess all the upper-class have to be assholes at least a little, huh.  I don’t know if I do or don’t like Bran being the king, but I did like how it was brought up. He is the living history of the realm as Tyrion said, and now he will live on to be its future as well. For a kid who was tossed out of a window after seeing the former queen having sex with her brother, I’d say that’s a pretty good decent glow up of sorts. I almost wish there would be another season, if only to see how Westeros fairs under Bran’s rule with Tyrion at his side. I can only hope everyone lives to see the peace they finally deserve, after suffering so much under the rule of families hungry for fame and riches and titles.

Arya leaving is the one thing I’m just, really fucking bothered by. I don’t recall anywhere her having a desire to travel and see new parts of the world. When she left Westeros she did so because it was life or death. She came home to be with her family. And now she’s leaving them for god knows how long to go god knows where. I can’t believe after all the chaos and death these kids have faced and grown up around, she wouldn’t want to stay in Winterfell to be with Jon and Sansa. I just don’t like it. Arya is one of my top favorite characters and watching her grow from a stubborn child into a ruthless assassin was amazing, but somehow her ending off as an explorer just doesn’t feel quite right.

Jon being sentenced to live out his days in the Watch is the cruelest joke in this whole fucking show. Right back where he started, the bastard son of Ned stark, forced to live out his days in the cold and snow at Castle Black, never to have any family or land of his own. After all the attempts to hype up the R+L=J shit, which so many people figured out way too easily, after uncovering the mystery of his real lineage and discovering he’s one of the only two Targaryans left in existence, after all the struggle within himself of not wanting to take the throne from Dany even though he had a legitimate claim and her Mad Queen story line made her unfit to rule (and after having to listen to Varys insist only men can rule properly, tbh I’m not sad he died, I never liked him and he got what he deserved for that shit), he ends right back where he started. Jon was my first favorite character, and I always hurt for him, how he was raised with the Stark children as Ned’s bastard, how much Catelynn seemed like she wanted to love him like her own but just couldn’t, how much it must have hurt him knowing he was hurting her and her just by existing. I would have loved to see Cat find out the truth and their relationship become something different, as he was the son of her husband’s beloved sister and she would have embraced him with open arms and a thousand apologies. She just didn’t know any different, and by the time Jon knew, it was all too late. He’s lost almost all the family he’s ever known, and all the real family he ever had. His whole character arc amounted to nothing. NOTHING. My only hope is that he just goes off north with Ghost, Tormund, and the wildlings, because who’s gonna bother to make sure? Aegon Targaryan will have never existed.

AT LEAST, he finally gave Ghost the fucking pats that direwolf deserved. I was actually really happy to see Ghost and Tormund again, and even happier to see Jon acknowledge Ghost, who’d been by his side from the very start. I’m at least glad knowing they’ll still be together in the true north.

And now the grand finale, the one thing I was completely satisfied with.  Sansa Stark The Queen in the North Seeing the crown placed upon her head, seeing her take her rightful place, and hearing her men shout “THE QUEEN IN THE NORTH” made me feel swollen with pride. Sansa has been through hell and back. She watched her father die at the command of a king who tormented her, she was raped by another man who executed her youngest brother, she lost her mother and her oldest brother to a supposed ally, and spent so many seasons a hostage or a tool for other people. But she fought, and she grew, and she became shrewd and cunning at the table. Sansa calculated every step she made and it saw her to ascend the throne, and take her rightful place as the oldest Stark heir. She secured her people’s land and ensured their safety. I can only imagine how proud Ned, Catelynn, Robb, and Rickon would be if they could see Sansa now. No longer is she the scared, air-headed little girl who just wants to marry a noble man and live life in the luxury she’s always known. She’s a war veteran, a general, a wolf through and through.

I started watching Game of Thrones in season 5 I believe, with a group of friends in a stream. I knew about the show but had just never bothered to sit and watch it. After seasons 6 ended, I figured I may as well start at the beginning and have a better understanding of what’s going to happen in the last 2 seasons. I spent about three or four weeks slowly marathoning it around my oldest daughter’s schedule (she’s only six and there’s no way she’s watching it any time soon lmao) and I couldn’t help but fall in love with the characters, the world itself, and the stories being played out. I have to say though, along with so many others, I’m utterly disappointed at the ending, and season 8 as a whole. It felt unrefined, and rushed, and there was no sense that anything meaningful happened in the end. When I saw the writers so brashly say that story lines were for 8th grade books, I realized just how little they care about actually writing, and this season truly reflects that. The deaths were for shock value more than anything else, and the major conflicts were solved so easily it felt as if all the buildup for them had been for something else entirely. I don’t regret watching Game of Thrones by any means, but I do feel sad for Martin that his beautiful complex stories full of beautiful complex characters, were reduced to nothing more than a circle story. All this talk of breaking the wheel, and yet it just rolled right back around to see the unspoken main character end right where he began. Because what’s the point of a story when there’s CGI dragons and big fight scenes?

[cmhoughton]

I am not happy with this episode, nor with me taking so long to write this review, but the review of 4.02 is almost done so you won’t have long to wait. I hope to have that posted tomorrow...

NOTE: Spoilers ahead, so read no further if you haven’t seen the episode or read any of the books, especially “Drums of Autumn.”  

Screencap courtesy of Outlander Online.  Map of Colonial North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia courtesy of UNC University Libraries.

NOTE:

Set in 1767, this episode was largely based on Chapters 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, and 9 of “Drums of Autumn, though the stone circle in North Carolina was originally revealed in Chapter 51.  Ian and Jamie’s conversation about what happened with Geillis was from Chapter 62 of “Voyager” (book 3) and the story Bonnet tells Claire about the drowning nightmares he’d had all his life was revealed to a different character in Chapter 105 of “A Breath of Snow and Ashes” (book 6).

Written by Executive Producers Matthew B. Roberts and Toni Graphia, the events in this episode dealt with a pretty large chunk of the book, totaling more than 130 pages (the Kindle edition).  That totals about 1/8th of the book, so there was a lot of material to jam into the episode.

While the series in the past had successfully crammed huge chunks of the books into a single episode, their efforts in this episode in that regard were a bit more hit-or-miss.  Also, jammed full with expository elements, the episode struggled to maintain a consistent tone.    It was talky, funny, tragic, sexy, romantic, suspenseful, and at times chaotic… It was like the episode didn’t know what it needed to be.

That said, there was also some great stuff in this episode.  For one, I liked that they introduced Stephen Bonnet (Ed Speleers) earlier than they had in the book.  In the book, the conversation Jamie (Sam Heughan) had in the jail with Hayes (James Allenby-Kirk) took place ‘off-screen,’ as it were.  Jamie only talked about it after the fact.  It was good they fleshed out that scene.  Hayes had a smaller part in the book and his loss didn’t seem as emotional for Jamie and Claire (Caitriona Balfe), but in the show, the role was expanded.  It really paid off when Hayes (inevitably) was executed and made the loss more impactful.  (Though, in the book, he was executed for theft, not murder.)  So, not only had we a better introduction to Bonnet, we got to spend more time with Hayes.

I adored the caithris (a lament for the dead) that Lesley (Keith Fleming) started.  It was nearly perfect.  Keith has a remarkably beautiful voice, and the scene was touching.  It was heartwarming and beautifully staged.

Another great choice was having Ian (John Bell) experience a flashback to his traumatic sexual assault at the end of last season.  The scene was based on one in “Voyager,” but it happened without a flashback there.  The show hadn’t had time to spend on it in 3.13 (Eye of the Storm), which is where it would have happened last season, so it was fitting they put that scene in here. It was also a welcome change they gave Ian a flashback.  The change made the scene more visceral and reminds show-only fans and new viewers of what happened to Ian last season.  It was also not only a wonderful bonding moment for the two men but showed the immensity of the emotional impact Geillis’ assault had on Ian.

“Outlander” has been criticized as using sexual assault too much as a plot point, but in other shows, sexual assault is usually a plot expediency and the characters don’t really seem to have any long-lasting consequences.  In ‘Outlander’ they have the aftermath be far more profound for the characters.  What is not usual for television shows, in general, is that this show also gives the characters time to struggle with the impact and show how they are healing.   It was good to see Ian struggle with the aftermath of the assault.

One thing I had a problem with was that Stephen Bonnet confessed to Claire (Caitriona Balfe) about his history of having nightmares about drowning.  Not that it wasn’t a good idea, I liked how the show used that to give Bonnet an opportunity to try and have a bonding moment with Claire, but it seemed like such a non-sequitur.  I mean, Claire said something about avoiding Bonnet needing to avoid the noose in the future, then all of sudden he’s talking about a nightmare?  It seemed to come from out of the blue.  It’s things like that which added to the choppy feel of the episode.  But why would they foreshadow something that won’t likely happen until late in season 6 (“A Breath of Snow and Ashes”) anyway?  It seemed an odd choice.

I didn’t like the opening either, perhaps it was good to show just how the stone circle might have come to be built (and maybe shows the one that should make an appearance in the show later this season).  Again, it just seemed like something that came out of the blue.  It didn’t really mesh with the voice-over either, in which Claire talked about circles created over ‘centuries’ but the text on the screen said ‘North America 2,000 BC…’ So, shouldn’t she have said something about ‘millennia’ instead?

I also didn’t like how the show changed the geography of North Carolina.  While the Colonial boundaries of the Carolinas in the 1760s don’t match up to the modern state borders…

…Tennessee wasn’t a thing in the colonial period, the Cape Fear River is not in the foothills and there’s no way a day’s wagon ride from Wilmington would give Claire and Jamie a view of the Smoky Mountains.  I can only suppose that it’s due to the location they built River Run on in Scotland, which might be in view of mountains, but I guess that will remain to be seen.

The change to the circumstances Jamie was asked to accept the land grant from Governor Tryon (Tim Downie) was a bit unexpected.  In the book, Jamie was under extra pressure to get men to fight under threat of disclosure that he was Catholic since royal land grants were only allowed to go to Protestants.  If the fact he was a Catholic got out, he would immediately lose the land grant.  It was a remarkably effective method of extortion in the book.

Here, in return for the land grant, Jamie will be under pressure to muster men at the request of the governor or he would need to pay a quitrent.  It wasn’t a term I was familiar with since quitrents were not brought up in the book.

Although in looking into them online the change makes sense.   Quitrents (a type of rentbased on ancient English custom) were common fees charged to Colonial land grant holders so it was probably a mistake on Diana Gabaldon’s part to have not ever to have mentioned that. They were often waived to encourage settlement, which was what Tryon offered to do in this episode.  Historically, the quitrents were unevenly imposed and corruption was common since the payments were required to be in cash.  The quitrents in part led to the War of the Regulation (which will be a bigger factor in next season).

So, it makes sense they made that change and is also probably why they brought up the Regulators.  The lack of ready cash is a problem in a barter economy like Colonial North Carolina.  Poor cash flow will be a problem for Jamie and Claire throughout the rest of the series (if the show follows the books in that regard), so the promise to waive the quitrents in return for providing men for the defense of the government is probably a perfect shakedown for Tryon.

While I had no major problems with the episode as a whole, I did not like the ending.  Like, at all.  It wasn’t the musical choice, the Ray Charles version of ‘America The Beautiful’ is wonderful, and I liked the juxtaposition of that with the ugliness of what was going on while the music played.

It just felt like they were trying to recreate the emotional power of the ending of episode 3.04 (“Of Lost Things”), when Jamie rode away from Helwater.  It was a heartbreaking ending, but the situation was very different so using modern music wasn’t going to work the same way.   No one’s life was in danger in that episode, and what action there was wasn’t that involved (Jamie riding away and Willie running after him) and there wasn’t much dialogue.

Maybe it would have worked better if the dialogue hadn’t been totally silent.  In the beginning of the song, dialogue played, with the music underneath it, and that worked.  Yet, as the scene continued, the music got louder and the dialogue and sounds were completely cut out so all that the only sound heard was the song.  It turned the ending into a sort of an overly melodramatic pantomime that didn’t work.

Not hearing everything that was going on, the actions the actors took seemed extremely exaggerated and overwrought.  It reminded me of the more melodramatic silent films I had seen in a Narrative Film History class I took in college. D.W. Griffith’s “Birth of a Nation” or Sergei Eisenstein’s “Battleship Potemkin” particularly come to mind.

Worse, music replacing the natural sound robbed the performances of any nuance, diluted the emotional impact and, which is worse, completely pulled me out of the scene.  It left a sour taste in my mouth at the end of what was otherwise a fairly solid episode.

I don’t feel like I can adequately critique the actors’ performances in their entirety with the ending the way it was, so I won’t even try.

Overall, this episode was enjoyable but the ending robbed it of some of its power, so I give this episode 3.5 out of a possible 5 Claire’s Wedding Rings.

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #15: Melon’s Creed

The Carmel Bunkers on Turó de la Rovir. Stone barriers overlook the great city of Barcelona. John Bishop Church quietly admired the breathtaking view on this day just on the precipice of the sun setting. He leaned over the wall and seemed oblivious to the camera filming him. He had the hood of his light grey jacket up. His boots and the bottoms of his blue jeans were covered in dirt from the hike to this locale. He spoke out into the ether. “Hey.” He spoke in a conversational tone and let that set in before continuing. “This whole thing has been a humbling experience. In this last year, I’ve had the privilege to do what I’ve always wanted to do. And to enter into a partnership that has been absolutely exhilarating to be a part of. Since NSFW’s humble roots, we have scraped and clawed our way to the top. There has been a common thread throughout. Somebody somewhere has claimed that they do what they do for a divine purpose.” He scoffed. “Whether it be the megalomaniacal ramblings of a prophet, the dissidents of chaos …” John sighed, perhaps perturbed at the mere mention of this. “...or the machinations of the melon gods. Such grand proclamations are fruitless in the face of the golden standard of tag team wrestling. Now, Mike …” There was a pause. He pushed off of the wall and turned around - looking to the stairs that descend down the hill. “Mike?” “Dude!” The redhead, backpack over her shoulders and clad in a grey unzipped hoodie over a Carlos Ruiz t-shirt, appeared over the crest of the hill a moment after her name was mentioned, puffing a bit as if she’d started running as soon as she realized how far she’d fallen behind her partner. “My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours, man. Phew…” Catching her breath, the Bronx brawler raised a hand, wiping some sweat off her brow. “Besides, I kinda got distracted. You won’t believe what I found. It’s full of so much crazy shit, I dunno if I can look at the world the same fuckin’ way again.” Reaching back, Mike unzipped her pack and pulled out a large, dirty, ancient looking book, fraying at the corners and tops of the spine. Embossed on the cover, with traces of nearly worn away gilding, are the words ‘ARCANA CUCUMIS’. “What?” Coming the rest of the way up and leaning against one of the curved concrete walls, Mike flipped the book open with care, as not to jar any of the yellowed pages loose. Shifting a bit, she beckons her partner over, holds the tome up, and points at one of the pictures within. “I found this in the catacombs when we split away from the tour group to… when we split away from the tour group. Look at this shit. It’s like, all of the Melon Club’s fuckin’ secrets. I had no idea they went this far back and had their nasty vines stuck in so much stuff.” “Oh no.” John placed a hand on the page, obscuring its contents. He looked at his friend with concern. “This is Leviathan all over again.” “Nah man. This is worse. They’ve been in all of humanity’s fuckin’ key institutions. Look at this for example.” “These fuckers killed JESUS, man. I mean, according to the text here, fuckin’ Judas served him that melon, ironically enough, right before the big J.C. said one of his people was gonna betray him.” John gave the warped portrayal of the Last Supper a once over. “So Judas was part of the Melon Club.” His tone was deadpan and in no way inquisitive. “Exactly. But it doesn’t stop there. Look here.” “This guy, I’m sure you know, is L. Ron Fuckin’ Hubbard, the nutball behind Scientology. According to the book, people have been misunderstanding his writings all this time because of an elaborate cover up. See, Hubbard didn’t really mean Xenu. He meant…” She jabbed her finger at a specific spot on the image. “...honeydew.” John was exasperated in his own diminutive way. “The Melon Club are pulling the strings of the billion dollar multinational religion because?” Mike shrugged. “Power. Control. Y’know, all that shadow ops supervillain shit. And it’s not just the major stuff either. I mean, take a look here. I really feel bad about this one considering week before last…” She flipped a few pages, landing on a classical Grecian image. “The Eternal Circle are unknowing followers of the melon gods.” “Exactly. Sad, but true. I guess they gotta come to terms with that now.” ”Mike.” It was like a plea to come back to reality. “Look. Religious iconography has been changed to suit the needs of whoever used it. I’ve never been much a believer. I mean, maybe something exists. But all along its been the melon gods?” His fingers gestured dismissively at the book. “This … doesn’t make any sense.” “Yeah, I mean, I guess that’s true. But the thing is, it’s not just religion that these fucks have been manipulating. See? I mean, I know you for one are gonna be seriously pissed at this one. See, it looks like around 48 BC, the ancient Roman scholars were on the tail of uncovering the whole Melon conspiracy before it overwhelmed everyone. Luckily for them, no less than the Roman emperor, Julius Caesar, was a devotee and he made sure to have the entire library burned to the ground before anybody could find out the truth.” John’s bottom lip quivered slightly upon looking at the image. “All of that knowledge.” But he shook his head. “No. So next thing you’re going to tell me that his assassination was ordered when the Melon Club had no further use for him.” Mike snapped the fingers of her free hand. “YES. Exactly that. And it’s not the only assassination they’ve indulged in either. I mean, Arya herself’s a trained killer, it shouldn’t be that big of a shock that these people have bumped off anyone who was a threat to their fucking organization.” Mike grimaced as she flipped the page again. “They never did figure out who Oswald was working with. Or for. And that one picture of him, people always thought it was altered in some way. Well it fucking was. See?” “The Melon Club assassinated JFK.” “It’s the only thing that makes fucking sense. I mean all this time. All these theories and debates and discussions. The Zapruder film analyzed frame by fuckin’ frame. And all this time, Oswald was a lone gunman cuz only a Melon Club trained assassin could pull off a ricocheting shot like that.” “But… why?” Mike exhaled, then drew a breath in. “Because they fuckin’ can. Because Kennedy’s embargo on goods from Cuba was hurting the fuckin’ melon industry and that’s how they spread their fuckin’ propoganda. All those sweet, juicy cantaloupes, canaries, and watermelons that people gobble up without a second thought, not knowing every last bite is only serving the forces that control their entire fucking lives.” “Mike. I don’t know what to say. Maybe we’ve been lied to.” “You don’t know the half of it. It’s to the point now that they’re just meddling in things just to make everyone miserable. The Super Bowl a couple seasons back. Patriots vs. Falcons. The Falcons had the Pats dead to fucking rights. Brady was getting his stupid handsome face shoved in it and it was glorious. But then after the half they mounted this miraculous comeback that by all fucking rights shouldn’t even have been fucking possible. How? I stayed up fucking nights, man. I had no idea how the rug got yanked out from under the Falcons so utterly. But now. NOW I know. Look at this. The absolute bastards.” “I have no clue what you’re talking about.” “Oh yeah. You probably didn’t see it. Trust me, you’re better for it. It fucking sucked. Tom Brady is an asshole. He’s the absolute fucking worst human being ever shat out onto this sorry planet and the sooner everybody realizes what an overrated piece of crap he is the better.” John closed the book. The pages gave off a fine poof of dust as they slammed together. “Okay. So The Melon Club are zealots who throughout time have manipulated the world in every which way possible.” And then he pointed to Mike and himself. “And acquiring our tag team championships are now part of that great design?” “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be? They have their claws in everything else. Why else would people trained in the fucking deadly arts be getting in the ring with us?” “And so we are the only people standing in the way of a new dark age?” “I mean, I found this thing in a crypt if that tells you anything. We know too much. They’rereally gonna want to take us out now, cuz we know how dangerous they are and we’re telling the whole fucking world so.” Mike glanced at the camera, brows knit in a very concerned fashion. Her fingers twiddled nervously between each other. “They’ve been here for months. Walter and Arya Melon. Mixed results. Between the bouts of tedium and fruit puns, I’ve inclined to tune them out. They win one tag match. Against two teams that chose to not take them seriously.” He placed a hand on the book. “We’re taking the Melon Club serious.” John joined Mike in looking directly at the camera. “Dead serious.” “To be frank, I underestimated you guys. My partner didn’t cuz he’s smarter than I am, but I looked at that three-way and you were the last fucking people I thought we’d wind up fighting. Shit, I’d already done some studying and had to throw it all out the window. The fact you pulled that shit out is proof you shouldn’t be taken lightly, whether or not you guys are part of a giant all consuming conspiracy wrapping the world in melony dominance.” “I thought we were going to have a viking problem on our hands. But instead, two cunning opportunists came away with the victory. And speaking of opportunities, it’s clear that through the facade, you two are students of the game. We know what you see as an opening.” Mike gave a firm nod, reaching up with her left hand. Her fingers were free, but the palm and wrist were done up in a cast, by now liberally covered with the signatures of friend and fan alike. “I’m not gonna pretend to know what you think of us. It’s probably better for everybody’s fuckin’ sanity that there’s no telling what’s going on in those, heh, melons of yours. But like my partner said, I know, we know, what you may be thinking about doing. Let me tell you for one, this hand? It ain’t gonna be a fuckin’ issue. Better people in this business than me have defended titles with far worse fuckin’ damage. It ain’t gonna slow me down.” She twiddled her fingers and then balled them up tight, forming a fist around the covered palm of her left hand. “Yeah. We’re not mind readers but we know what you want. And there is no fucking way in seven hells that you’re gonna get it, not at WrestleFest and not ever. You’re welcome to give it a shot, but a lot of teams have tried, and they’ve all met the same fuckin’ end.” The plaster casted fist slammed into the opposite palm. “Knocked for Six, kneed in the face, Cherry Bombed, put to sleep, and checked by the Bishop and the Queen.” “That’s not arrogance on our part. That’s just what happens. What will happen. And I get it. You two think you have divine providence on your side. What bounty have the melon gods gifted your little club? A middle in the pack finish in the Rumble. Trading victories with Frankie Romono. And now this. An opportunity.” He reached behind him and shoved the book out of the sight of the camera. The focus was solely on Bishop Church, Mike McGuire, NSFW, the EWC World Tag Team Champions. A leveled gaze from Church was directed to the challengers. “An opportunity to be a footnote in our history.” Folding her arms as best she can, Mike gave a firm nod. “We’ve worked too hard and come too far to have it end here and now. Nobody’s found a way to fuckin’ kill us yet and neither will you. No assassins, no kooked out religions, and No Schemes of Fucking Watermelons are going to take us down. But if you really think you can?” Her grim expression melted into a smirk, a brief ‘heh’ slipping from her lips. “Come and get it, ya fuckin’ fruits.” John looked at his partner, eyebrows raised. “Wait, what?”