#makes me feel fucking out of my mind /pos/pos and i wish i got to learn more abt shit we dont even have a modern art class

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i shouldve been an art history major.........

[erveinangel]

// Divergent Universe thoughts in tags.

[firelightmlpoc]

This is Pansear (if you want proof, look at my pinned blog; I'm well aware that there are a lot of imposters out there). I wish to say thank you for being open minded while also acknowledging that- yes- I did fuck up at times. I didn't treat Azriel the best. I was selfish towards the MAP collaborators. I wasn't a particularly great person in general- all that I admit, and I have my own separate posts for those. Overall, I'm sorry.

The harassment was too much and the screenshots were obviously fake. It wasn't fair to me. It wasn't fair to anyone either including those who believed were fake too, even to future potential victims of allegations and former victims of harassment campaigns. I left not in admittance of guilt, but to everything else that has boiled over (again, I detailed this in a post).

I know there's people beaming to know that I'm alive and well (and of course, people who are angry that I'm not). I just want to say that I'm sorry for having to leave everyone in the dark for so long, and that I was basically a POS back then.

It saddens me as well that this whole situation not only affected me- it has affected most of the fandom. It has affected the other artists, who no longer feel safe and comfortable. It has affected my friends, who missed me and feel lost in the dark. It has affected my fans, who worry about me and feel so conflicted about everything. It has affected friend groups who are distanced in their conflicts.

Even for the things I didn't do, I still felt horrible. There were no winners in the end, and any winner I could describe are those vile people hiding behind anons who have hurt the most.

People can already predict that I will never return and that is definitely the case. Not just for the sake of my well-being, but I believe it's for the best for everyone in general. It's been far too long that I danced through the harsh weathers- some strange fucked up game of ping pong, and it's time to put it to rest. I don't care if people will hate me still, all I care about is everyones' safety and for those who have been hurt to heal from this.

I have no real say on the Emily side of things. Indeed what she did to Azriel was irresponsible, but she doesn't deserve the harm and harassment she's got and been getting. Nobody does. Not even my calloutters and my harassers. Looking at their responses and posts just makes me feel bad. I can't help but feel sorry for them.

I hope you yourself are doing well. To all others reading this, I hope you all are too. The fandom isn't the same but I know love can persist somewhere. I am leaving it all up to you to make this place so much better, and that one day everyone can laugh again.

For now, I'm hoping things can rest.

I’m glad to hear you’re doing alright. And as you’ve said: Yes, you have done things wrong, but the actions taken against you were far beyond the pale for what you actually did.

An apology backed by action towards self-betterment is a good apology, & is what you’ve shown to be doing, though I truly wish that the cost you’ve had to pay for this all wasn’t so steep. I hope that you’re still able to find enjoyment in your art still, & hope that you’re able to heal from all of this, even if it takes a good bit of time to do so.

May the path you walk no longer hurt to stand on, & may you find yourself at peace with all of it some day.

[1800naveen]

My appreciation.

September 2023, I started the "a court of thorns and roses" series. Booktok got me hyped to read it so when I did, I really enjoyed it. (I fell victim to liking Rhysand and the inner circle, forgive me)

Feyre, Tamlin, and Lucien were my favorite characters. Their dynamic, how their relationship grew, I loved it all. (I was also a hater of Nesta but I changed now, my mind opened.)

I also saw spoilers on Tik Tok about acomaf and Rhysand which put me into a slump and I didn't continue reading the series again until April 2024. Yeah, it was that bad.

Finding out that people hated Tamlin for his later actions got me bummed because I really liked him at the time. I got spoiled for the rest of the series but I don't really care for spoilers that much.

During my slump, I made an account on Tumblr. I mostly liked posts but I would comment at times. I was afraid of making a post because I was just nervous.

I still had love for Tamlin so I avoided the Acotar side of Tumblr for a while. Because what if someone came after for my thoughts or opinions? That scared me. I felt somewhat alone when it came to not hating Tamlin or seeing him as a "villain" (he's more morally grey). I also still didn't like Rhysand because of the whole under the mountain thing which weirded me out.

Then one faithful day, I was looking through the Bryce Quinlan tag after finding out about her when I saw this post (it was about the crossover) and it was the first anti Rhysand post I liked.

And I clicked on the anti Rhysand tag and my third eye opened. When it came to booktok, I thought that hating this man was some sort of taboo.

These guys showed his wrongdoings, went on analysis, how he was toxic, how he treated certain characters, etc. Thanks to them, I was right to feel what I felt about him. He fucking sucks.

I then went on the pro Tamlin tag and I had finally found my people. Ones that shared the same thoughts as I did when it came to Tamlin and it gave me inspiration to make my first post on here.

(And the rest was history...) *cue the clapping*

Nah but seriously, I want to give my appreciation to the Tamlin, Nesta, Lucien, and Eris fans, the anti Rhysand people, the inner circle haters, and the people who just hate this series in general. I'm grateful for finding a community where I fit right in and where I won't get burned at the stake for my opinion (most of the time). I actually made friends on here which is great because I usually suck at making friends (Me and Tamlin twinning, can't make friends for shit) so this is great.

TIME FOR THE TAGS!!!

Giving my appreciation to the people who inspired me to become the blog that I am today: @szalonykasztan00, @copypastus (love your art❤), @shi-daisy, @arson-09, @thrumbolt, @achaotichuman, and @feyres-divorce-lawyer (so glad that I found you on tik tok first, a fellow Rhysand hater).

My mutuals where we are united by both love and hate: @sonics-atelier (thanks for making those analysis posts), @wingsdippedingold, @rin-u-pos, @positivelyruined (bless you for the Luke Eisner fancast🙏🏾), @nickel156, @viktoriaashleyyx, @thatapologisttoyourantis.

And those who I first found out on tik tok and then found them again on Tumblr (some are mutuals, some aren't and the first two I found out there asoiaf tik toks): @watcherintheweyr, @kataraavatara, @booksnwriting.

Yuh, that's about it. Just wanted to make something nice and sweet. Thanks to my 107 followers that I got for mostly being a hater or from other stuff that I post.

Me to all of you (This feels corny but I was born on the cob🌽):

.

.

.

.

(Here's the posts I was talking about.)

[cyberdragoninfinity]

wild dana spotted howling and barking about yugioh arc-v out in the parking lot

oh BOY oh boy it's bout that time again. i can't believe it's been OVER A YEAR (?!?!?) since i last did one of these 'i just finished a yugioh here's my little rambly retrospective about it' posts but we are BACK!!! Finished my first ever watch-through of Arc-V last Tuesday after some 8 months of it putting me through the spin cycle and now as it's wedging itself permanently into my psyche i need to talk about its Everything or i will explode. so LET'S SWING INTO ACTION!!! I'M TAKING CONTROL OF THIS DUEL STARTING NOW!!!

[SPOILERS ahead for this decade old anime, of course]

WOW. YUGIOH ARC-V, HUH. before i started it watching it, I knew two things: A.) every single bit of knowledge I'd learned about it from Duel Links events or otherwise had me so, so, unbeliebable fucking hyped. I was absolutely certain this Yugioh was going to be so full of Danabait and completely fry my brain like an egg on the griddle. I had to physically restrain myself for TWO YEARS to keep from jumping the gun and watching Arc-V before I'd finished all the series before it (a decision I'm ultimately thankful for--Arc-V hits kind of fuckign crazy as a chaser to four other yugiohs.). And also, B.) when people Talk About Arc-V they always talk about it in a Very Particular Way. like. it's hard to describe. I feel like you know it when you see it. There is the full range of human emotion in the way people talk about Arc-V. People talk about Arc-V like its a confusing, malicious specter haunting their living room. And this admittedly got me even more hyped to watch it.

And then I watched it and here I am and I KNOW NOW. I KNOW NOW WHY PEOPLE. TALK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. SLASH POS. SLASH NEG. SLASH SECRET THIRD THING.

Arc-V is a fucking MESS. It starts out SO strong and then it starts setting plot threads on fire and writing conceptual checks it absolutely cannot cash. It falls down the narrative stairs like it has a goddamn death wish. It introduces 342052805 characters and then forgets to do anything with 99% of them. It does things to its girl characters that makes the back half of 5Ds's girl writing failure look like the height of feminist theory. If the stories I've heard about its deeply troubled production are any indication it is some kind of MIRACLE this show got made and aired at ALL. IT'S LIKE WATCHING A CAR WEAVING THROUGH TRAFFIC AT 90 MPH ONLY TO PLOW DIRECTLY INTO THE SIDE OF A PARTY CITY.

and goddamn if I didn't have a FUCKING BLAST watching it. GODDAMN IF I DIDNT HAVE SO, SO MUCH FUN. goddamn if Arc-V might very well end up being my FAVORITE yugioh out of ALL of them when all is said and done. WHOOOOOPSSS!!! 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

like. imo Zexal is absolutely from a quality/art direction/narrative/everything standpoint leaps and bounds better than Arc-V. Definitely one of my favorite cartoons I've ever seen period, and most people should give it a shot. Such a beautiful work of art. But Arc-V....... girl they put something In this one. My pre-show hype was absolutely warranted. This show is just one blast of Shit That Makes Dana Crazy after another. Every character absolutely delights me and is my best friend. I'm going to be losing my mind over Yugioh Arc-V for the rest of the year and maybe forever.

As usual I primarily watched the dub, with some sub episodes sprinkled in if I got tipped off about a big change, or just if I wanted to see what was going on back there. (glad I did, of course, for a number of reason--least of all that Arc-V's OPs and EDs are SO fun and so charming!!) (THOUGH SIDE NOTE: THE DUB OPENING SHREDS SO HARD IM SORRY. IT'S UP THERE WITH THE GX DUB OPENING FOR ME. CAN YOU FEEL THE FUCKING POWER!!!!!) Anyway, gotta say, really was blown away by this dub!! It's tied with Zexal for what's imo the 'best' yugioh dub--the majority of the voice performances were just fantastic (truly all the love in my heart for Michael Liscio Jr.'s performances as the yuboys, they all have such unique and charming voices and im OBSESSED WITH THEM.) and having watched some sub eps side by side with the dub it's really cool seeing a dub that genuinely tried to faithfully translate Most of the Original. idk it's just a really solid localization to me!! I loved it a lot!! ALSO IT'S EXTREMELY FUNNY. I SAY THIS ABOUT EVERY DUB BUT IT'S TRUE. there are line reads in the arc-v dub that have me SOBLAUGHING.

anyway. I like to do these little subsection breakdowns in these little retrospective roundups, so let's get into the weeds with it:

Stuff I Didn't Like: loooooooooong inhale through my nose. looks at you with mildly pained eyes. alright. let's get this one over with.

though I did really try to go in as blind as I could/avoid most spoilers with this one, I did inevitably get spoiled by some things from Duel Links, but in the case of. uh. Riley Getting Turned Back Into a Baby At the End. 👶🏼 I AM glad I had that spoiled for me, so I knew it was coming. Because if I didn't know that was going to happen and that clocked me over the head I would have been on the NEWS. I WOULD HAVE BEEN, SO MAD. HEY, YUGIOH: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼 WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO RILEY!!!!

"character gets permanently turned back into a baby for Critical Plot Reasons" has gotta be one of my LEAST favorite tropes in anything, it's NEVER GOOD. AND IT'S ESPECIALLY BAD HERE!!! Riley is such a good character, he's got such an interesting arc going on, and THEY JUST RIP THAT TO PIECES. SO RILEY'S JUST FUCKING GONE NOW I GUESS. COOL. ALRIGHT. SURELY THERE COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER WAYS TO DEFEAT ZARC. SURELY. just. good GOD. it was a small miracle to me when this happened like 8 episodes before the end, it was like ripping the bandaid off early, it was like "oh thank christ i got past that. ok well whatever happens it cannot possibly be as bad as the shit they did to riley"

^ (and imo it wasnt. thank GOD. actually let's talk about that)

LIKE. MAKE NO MISTAKE ARC-V'S ENDING IS CONFUSING AND CLUMSY AND SO STUPID AND NOT GOOD. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DOES THIS SERIES NEED EIGHT EPISODES AFTER ITS BIG BAD DUEL.WE COULD HAVE WRAPPED THIS UP IN 2-3!!!! it feels like watching Chopped and the contestant has 20 seconds on the clock left and theyre like "i gotta make my whipped cream" like WEEEE DONT NOT HAVE TIMEEE FOR THAT!!!!! WHAT ARE WE DOINGGGG. why are we dueling jack AGAIN. FOR TWO EPISODES. EVERYONE IS YELLING AT YUYA LIKE ALL OF THIS IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY AND FUCKING IS IT??!?!??! HE'S 14. AND THEN THOSE EPISODES HAVE THE GALL TO THROW SO MANY COOL IDEAS ON THE TABLE (Gong fully exploring dueltaining, the Dimensional Highway, etc) AND IT'S LIKE. COOL!! WISH WE COULDVE HAD THIS ANY OTHER TIME THAN THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!!! WHAT ARE WE DOINGGGG

BUT all that being said, the way people talk about that fucking last episode I was expecting some genuinely godawful 'zuzu is yuyas mom again like in the manga' tier absolute nightmare scenario. i literally made a secret prediction chart of what insane plot twist i assumed the last episode was going to drop on me.

AND THEN THE LAST EPISODE WAS JUST. FUNNYBAD. just a run of the mill whimper at the end of eight episodes we KIND OF REALLY DID NOT NEED. THE SHEER AMOUNT OF RELIEF I FELT. like absolutely i think going into it completely blind/encountering that ending watching live I would have been pissed, folks are rightfully frustrated with it, but I WAS TRULY. EXPECTING MUCH WORSE. IT ENDS LIKE A FAKE TUMBLR POST. "AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED" ASS ENDING. I DO HAVE TO LAUGH

^ YIPPEEEE SIX CHARACTERS HAVE EFFECTIVELY STOPPED EXISTING YAAAAAYY (😬😬😬😬)

ALSO, IN GENERAL. SPEAKING OF. GOD. THE BRACELET GIRLS. YALL ARE SO COOL AND THEN POOR LULU AND RIN DIDNT GET TO DO A GODDAMN THING EXCEPT HAVE WORMS IN THEIR BRAINS!!!! HELL ON EARTH!!!!!! WHY DID THEY DO THATTTT GAHHHHH again!! show that introduces SO many characters, so many FUCKING COOL CHARACTERS, and then does NOTHING with them. Or hits them with PARALYZING NERVE GAS FOR 20 EPISODES. CHRIST!!! WHY DO ARC-V GIRLS SUFFER MORE THAN JESUS. LEAVE MY GIRL ZUZU ALONEEEEE

TO THAT END, ARC-V JUST MAKES; SO MANY CONFUSING CHARACTER DECISIONS. AND CHOICES. why is Yuto just out of the picture for like 60 episodes!!! Let him be Yuya's brain buddy!!! WHY WASNT HE. DID YOU NOT WANNA ANIMATE HIM FLOATING NEXT TO THE DUEL RUNNER??! BE REAL. It's like. GRAHHH In general Arc-V has a pacing problem that is like. Atrocious even for yugioh's bad pacing problems. This series needed to be 400 episodes long. I like the IDEA of a yugioh with a big cast, spending episodes cutting between different groups of characters like some kind of bulky YA fantasy novel, but in practice it got. Real Muddy. RIP Xyz dimension arc you shoulda had so much more to you. And then there's that combined with this way it's trying Really Really hard to ape the themes of the past yugiohs ('dont forget to have fun,' grief/moving on after loss, classism) but it's hitting every damn branch on the way down and just completely fumbling ALL of them, it's not actually doing much to Earn being able to have those kind of themes resonate properly. IT'S SUCH A BAFFLING SHOW. IN THE THEMES DEPARTMENT. AMONG OTHER THINGS. "DONT EVER BE VISIBLY PUBLICLY SAD" IS A FUCKING INSANE MORAL. AND IT TAKES THAT SHIT WITH IT TO THE BITTER END. WHY IS THE FATE OF THE WORLD HINGED ON YUYA MAKING A BABY LAUGH. WHERE AM I!!!!

god. god. ok. ok im calm now. im sure in the coming weeks i'll have more barking about arc-v's various fumbles. but i'll leave it at that for now, i wanna talk about stuff i DID like now lol

Favorite Season/Arc: ok well. this actually is a hard question. um. hrm. LIKE. I'LL GET SHOT BY SNIPERS IF I SAY IT WAS SYNCHRO ARC BUT ALSO

IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYY I GOT THAT DOG IN ME (A BACK HALF OF 5D'S LIKER'S SOUL.) and unfortunately I WILL go in there and think about it that hard (the absolutely fucked to hell sociopolitical situation happening in Arc-V New Domino City and how it contrasts with the NDC in 5D's) (one thing about me I love weird fucked up yugioh old people I love those bitchass old centrists apparently governing the entire dimension and doing a piss poor job of it it's just like contemporary American politics!!!!!!) ROGET WAS JUST REANIMATING DEAD PEOPLE AND PUTTING MIND CONTROL CYBERNETICS IN THEM AND WELL YEAH SURE I'LL BE NORMAL GRIP ABOUT THAT. NORMAL. i need to make an arc-v AU Aporia so fucking bad THEN YOULL ALL SEE *talking to empty room*

YES synchro was way too fucking long. but regretfully i love turbo duels and will never not be charmed when yugioh puts guys on motorcycles that have no business being on motorcycles. DAMN I JUST FUCKING WISH YUYA AND YUGO GOT TO ACTUALLY TALK AND MEET IN THE SAME ROOM THOUGH!!!! BUT ANYWAY!!!!

im. kidding at least a little, I actually thoroughly enjoyed like...all of Arc-V's seasons/arcs at least a little (barring a lot of the Weird Post Zarc Duel 8 Episode Dead Zone.) The first 50 episodes really are just peak banger Yugioh, I do love action duels to absolute bits (though Action Spells. Uh. Need Some Workshopping 8| If I See Evasion One More Time Im Gonna Lose It) and the shit especially that first season does with the crazy Action Fields is AWESOME. GENUINELY. GO DUEL IN THE VOLCANO. DO A FLIP. RIDE YOUR MONSTER. it's practically running on Pokemon universe logic i cant NOT love it. And well Fusion Dimension arc does just have a whole lot of episodes that make me go cuckoo bananas crazy. Truly something for Dana in every crevice of Yugioh Arc-V.

Favorite Characters: god I do think like a solid half of why I think Arc-V may be becoming my top fav Yugioh is that the cast is just, really Really fucking good. Like yes so many of them are underutilized but the time we Do get with them really just shows off what delightful characters they all are. Half the reason it took me so damn long to finish was I was having so much fun and was going to miss seeing them!! IT'S GENUINELY HARD TO PICK A TOP LINEUP OF FAVS. THERE'S SO MANY DANABAIT GUYS IN YUGIOH ARC-V. YES EVEN THE SYNCHRO ARC GUYS. LUCAS SWANK I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.

The Lancers alone are SO good, theyre up there with Team 5D's in terms of Favorite "Main Yugioh 'Friend Group'/Organization". Group of guys who kind of have horrible synergy and only like 3 of them are actually competent. Declan came up with it when he was 13. Funniest group of teenagers imaginable, I love them all. LIKE .YUYA MAY BE MY FAVORITE YUTAGONIST??? IM NOT SURE YET BUT. I DO LOVE HIM A LOT. HE'S A PATHETIC WET PAPER TOWEL AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A NOOGIE. SLASH POS.

And I mean I'm always gonna be Z-one biased but I do like Zarc as a Big Bad a lot too... damn if I don't love Just Some Guy Has Become God and Is a Huge Tool About It <3 WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS!!!!

ah. but. of course. i'd be remiss if i didn't bring up. Rainbow Carrot Rock Your World.

hey guys. why'd it happen again. why'd the Yugioh Carrot and Company get in my head and completely fry my brain AGAIN!!!!!!!! ORANGE CARROT. PURPLE CARROT. YELLOW CARROT!!!!🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕 YUGO ISNT EVEN MY TOP FAV BUT HE'S IN MY HEART AND IN OUR HOUSE FOREVER NOW. meanwhile i dont want. to talk about what yuri is doing to me. if i think too hard about this little purple freak i'll start going bonkers ballistic chewing my leg off. I like all the yuboys but he is especially. Gripping Me. La Cucaracha Loca. My shithead gay son.

dennis needs his own post he's just. a Lot. may very well be one of the funniest yugioh characters ever. Among Other Things. his dub VA's performance needs to be marked as culturally significant. AND THEY JUST KEPT BRINGING HIM BACK.

IN GENERAL, AS I WAS COMPLETELY EXPECTING, FUCKED UP AND EVIL DUEL ACADEMY REALLY DID ME IN I love you Fusion Dimension kids I love getting sick in the head thinking about card game child soldiers.My Actual favorite Arc-V character may just straight up be Sora..... I just like him a lot. He's got a really solid character arc, his deck rules, he's a little fucker AND an absolute real one. Just 10/10 little guy.

GOD WHAT EVEN IS MY TOP FIVE FAVORITES. UHHHH Okay Sora and Yuri for sure, and Declan, I love Declan. Yugo..... god. GOD IS THE FIFTH ONE DENNIS FOR REAL. I FEEL HIM IN MY BRAIN SO BAD. AAAAUUGHHHH (Runners Up: Yuya, Yuto, GONG MOTHERFUCKING STRONG!!!!!!, Rin my girl my badass mechanic girl IM ON MY WAY. I'LL THINK ABOUT YOU THAT HARD., Riley, Arc-V Aster unfortunately a Dana Guy ever. Why Is He Here. He Didnt Even Go to DA in GX. But all of this is subject to change in coming months as the entire cast continues to hit me with weapons. An honor and a privilege to induct these characters into my Blorbo Hall of Fame)

Favorite Duel: HEY QUICK QUESTION: WHY ARE ARC-V'S DUELS SO FUCKING WEIRD. LIKE. NARRATIVELY. There's like 4352984589 ties and duels that get cut short and DUELS WE JUST NEVER GET TO SEE THE FULL OUTCOME OF ON SCREEN?!?!? WHAT WAS GOING ON THERE. It feels like another symptom of arc-v just desperately trying to bite off more than it can chew 😭 Frustrating!! And god I LOVE the zaniness of Action Duels, but we neeeeeed to do something about Action Spells... GRABBING AN ACTION SPELL SHOULD NOT BE THE CRUTCH OF YOUR WHOLE DECK.........

coughs. anyway. My actual honest to god favorite Arc-V duel is Yugo vs. Celina in the Friendship Cup <3 IVE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE BUT IT'S JUST SUCH A FUN ONE. It's got some great character moments on both sides, a yugioh girl Getting to Be Cool, the colors are gorgeous, it's SO funny, I just get such a kick out of it....I think part of what I Do like about the Friendship Cup is it really shows this sense of kinetic energy that the WRGP in 5D's really needed. I also really like the Shay vs. Dennis Friendship Cup duel for just going completely off the rails. Blow Up This War Criminal and The Whole Stadium With the Giant Bird Satellite Cannon. DOES NOT GET MORE YUGIOH THAN THAT!!

for all its weirdness Arc-V has a LOT of really fun duels that i enjoy--Shay vs. Sora is beloved for a reason, it also goes hard as hell. So many Season 1 duels are just a goofy blast, I really need to rewatch the quiz show one. For as much of an unnecessary mess as those last 8 episodes are, I DO really like Yuya and Dennis's duel too (THAT GETS REALLY REALLY GAY AT THE END???!?!? ARE WE ALL SEEING THIS.)

Hell even the Zarc duel started making me kind of sick in the head--watching Yuya's friends passing around his pendulum necklace while trying to save him makes me turbo emo WHAT CAN I SAY!!!

Arc-V also has the thing I had with Zexal where there's just some individual episodes that are absolute bangers for me. i love the Prison Break episode, it's fucking INSANE. HIP HIPPO SAID FUCK COPS FUCK THE PRISON SYSTEM!!! I love the episode where Gong and Dennis duel. FOR HOW LONG IT DID DRAG SYNCHRO HAS SOME REALLY FUN ONE-OFF EPISODES which I just really enjoy. Also love when Zuzu and Sora beat the shit out of a pack of cops. Based for that for real.

i do also love Yuri and Yuya's duel. Of course.

Other Miscellaneous Gushing/Shrieking/Losing My Mind About Yugioh Arc-V For Good and Bad and Everything in Between: arc-v arc-veeeeee yugioh arc-fiveeee theres just so MUCH. TO TALK ABOUT. THIS ONE'S GONNA BE IN MY HEAD FOR EONS I FEAR. THINKING ABOUT THE EVERYTHING. The sheer amount of narrative traits that make me specifically lose my mind (in a good way. as opposed to. the babyfication making me lose my mind. in a Real Bad Way :////) that they crammed into this. It's like digging in the treasure chest of elaborate fanfics I was writing in my brain in freshman year of high school. The Sick and Twisted Evil AU Version of Duel Academy. The Trained to Be Weapons Child Soldiers. Mind Control Reanimated Corpse Brain Chip. Alternate Dimension Selves. All of the Split Different Dimension Bullshit. Soul Splitting and Soul Fusion Framed as Fucking Terrifying. It's good I didn't have Arc-V growing up it would have been doing IRREVERSIBLE THINGS TO MY DEVELOPING CREATIVE BRAIN. INSTEAD IT'S DOING THEM TO ME NOW.

(side note, re: terrifying soul fusion: Arc-V is SO FUCKING SCARY SOMETIMES?!?? Like "ohh i wish yugioh was still a horror story" DAWG ARC-V ROUTINELY HAS SOME OF THE MOST DREAD-INDUCING CONCEPTS GETTING FLUNG AT YOU AT 90 MPH. SKIP BOYLE FORGETS HIS DAUGHTER EXISTED AND IT'S ONE OF THE MOST HEARTBREAKINGLY HORRIFYING THINGS IVE EVER SEEEEENNNNN )

The shit Arc-V does with Yugioh's themes of identity, these "when does a piece of yourself stop being you and start being their own person?" "what happens when multiple free standing people are one person" type ideas, you KNOW that makes my Aporia Turbofan ass go CRAAAZYYYY. AND THEN IT HAD RELIGIOUS MOTIFS TOO <3333 YOU'RE ME AND IM YOU AND IT DOESNT MATTER WHO DOES WHAT THE DEVIL WILL COME BACK REGARDLESS 😊💞💞💞

Arc-V takes such bold swings at things and 95% of the time it misses the ball entirely and spins up and out and directly into the fireplace but that 5% of sheer genius and thematic weight hits like a truck. Is Arc-V good? FUCK IF I KNOW. PROBABLY NOT. BUT ALSO YES IT IS. BUT ALSO IT'S NOT. BUT ALSO IT'S SOMETHING SO SPECIAL, AND I LOVE IT. That first like 50 episodes makes for such a good yugioh starter course tbh, the way it goes over different summoning methods and is very engaging and energetic, and then the rest of the show is an 18 car pileup of Card Game War that makes me automatically like DONT. START WITH THIS ONE. WATCH ANOTHER YUGIOH OR TWO FIRST AND THEN COME MELT YOUR BRAIN IN HERE. AND THATS SUCH A WEIRD DICHOTOMY TO HAVE WITH ONE YUGIOH. weird like everything else with arc-v i suppose. :,)

For all the mess and all the madness there truly is so much I love, though. I love the character dynamics, even when the show isnt doing much more with its cast--Yuya and Gong's friendship may be one of my favorite 'yutag and best friend' bonds, it's SO sweet and I'm going to be mad forever that Gong isn't more popular in western ygo fandom. I love the DUEL MONSTERS!! Performapals are SOOOO sillygoofy I have to adore them, the dimensional dragons all kick so much ass I love you Clear Wing my big legless weirdo. I love Shay's increasingly bigger Bird Guns. I LOVE FRIGHTFURS!!!! I LOVE D/D/DS!!!!! SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM ON ESPECIALLY SCREEN AFTER PLAYING THEM FOR MONTHS IN DUEL LINKS. MY FREAKY DECLAN DEMONS. I love the miscellaneous callbacks to past iconic monsters and funky weird AU retrains of the Legacu character's decks. Scarlight Red Dragon Archfiend my friend Scarlight Red Dragon Archfiend

I also do love that Arc-V in theory is trying very hard to be a celebration of past Yugiohs, but it's also instead being completely fucking insane with its 'tributes.' Oh you like Heartland City from Zexal? It's a carpetbombed warzone now! LIKE... HUH!!! When Lazar showed up at the end of season 2 i SCREAMED. I WANT TO KNOW THE LOGIC OF THESE CHOICES. THEY DONT MAKE ME MAD OR ANYTHING REALLY IM JUST FASCINATED BY THEM. i cant really be too angry at arc-v I'm just. transfixed. at every baffling choice it's ever made. I've really truly never seen a show that's so thoroughly felt like some kids doing a roleplay on a forum somewhere, players dropping in and out and mods not really knowing what to do with the lore anymore as things become more and more convoluted. I watch arc-v scenes and i can picture the text RP in my head, the players' forum signatures and all. It's truly some kind of feat to achieve that inherent vibe, that's for sure.

ok im running out of steam i think... what else. god. Yugioh Arc-V is just.... such a teetering Jenga tower of a show, a complete nuclear meltdown of clumsy writing and fantastic vocal performances (dub and sub) and confused handling of its own lore and occasionally some of the fucking coolest most intense expressions and gorgeous shots of any yugioh

I held out on watching it for so long cuz i just fuckin KNEW it was going to grab me by the brain and swing me into the wall and WELL!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!! SHES A MESS BUT SHES MY MESS BABEYYY!!! IS ARC-V GOOD? MAYBE NOT BUT, BROTHER, I FUCKIN LOVE WHEN YUGIOH IS BAD ❤ ive been a disciple of Bad Yugioh for 20 goddamn years and im not stopping now!!!!! I love you Pendulum summoning you insane busted ass mechanic. I love you all four completely fucked up dimensions. I love that they localized Maiami to Paradise City. I love the little nods to past yugioh things (like fusing with a motorcycle <3 Primo Moment...2!) I hate you Leo Akaba explode and die forever (though 'parent going mad trying to bring their child back' do also go me a little bananas.) I love the kickass shots of Yuya's monsters being set in the pendulum scale.I love Sora's relationship with Yuya and Zuzu. I love every fucked up crazyass expression Yuri makes. I love the sense of character design in this show. I love the Action Duel start chants. I love seeing the Synchro Math again and the Overlay Units and the deeply unsettling fusion hand gesture kids use with Polymerization. I love that third ED thats just the Lancers dicking around in different locations and having fun. I love Declan and Riley's complicated but deeply loving bond. I love when characters RIDE THEIR DUEL MONSTERS!!! AND I LOVE THAT DESPITE EVERYTHING I ALREADY WANNA SEE THESE CHARACTERS AGAIN. THEYRE MY FRIENDS!!!!! THEYRE IN MY BRAIN!!!!! MY KIDSSSSS

I KNOW NOW. WHY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT ARC-V LIKE THAT. AND IM ABOUT TO START TALKIN LIKE THAT TOO. YUGIOHHHHHH!!!!!

[risingscorchingsuns]

OHHH MY GOD YOU CANT MAKE ME WAIT A FUCKING WEEK FOR THIS. YOU CANT MAKE ME WAIT A WEEK FOR THE MUZAN KAGAYA CONFRONTATION YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME. FUCKING HELL OH MY GODDDD

hiiiii im feeling so normal right now!!!!!!!!!!!! *barely contained frenzy of biting and screaming*

anyway thoughts on this weeks ep!!! <3

- tanjiro. please. please i love you baby but i will never understand why you decided it was a good idea to go “🥺 are you fighting about ohagi? ill make lots!!” tanjiro honey they are TRAINING

-/pos btw. I love him he’s iconic for this

-shoutout to giyuu for immediately finding out about Sanemi’s favorite food and being like “:) if I bring some to him we’ll be best friends :)” giyuu sweetheart i love you. ive been waiting so long to see this scene animated god I love them. im not even much of a sanegiyuu shipper i just think this whole scene is iconic

- the ECHOES of muzan’s FOOTSTEPS right after Sanemi realizes they’ve been infiltrated????? holy fuck it is CHILLING. ohhhhhh mygoooodddd. oh my god im going INSANE

- holy shit, I feel like it’s massively under-discussed how dark Gyomei’s backstory is. Like… the whole scene really pounds it in how brutal his experiences were. His disgust at having to fight, much beyond what a normal human would tolerate. He likely had to keep caving the demon’s head in over and over because it kept regenerating. Holy shit. The color choice of everything being monochrome except for the blood is particularly chilling. I love when media uses that palette and KNY does it so good

- AUGHHHH his smile when he pats tanjiro 🥺🥺🥺 he thinks about Sayo…. GOD I love the Hashira

- I’d love to read more character analysis on Gyomei. I feel like we didn’t get as much context for his character as we deserved- why he continued to fight, despite how disgusted he is by his own strength, why he trained Genya despite his general distrust, especially towards children? Ultimately, I believe it comes down to Gyomei being a genuinely gentle human, and I’d love to read more analysis on how he maintains that. Maybe his own repetitive action helps him. I wrote a big paragraph about questions about his character, but wound up deleting it because I found myself answering them as I wrote. Regardless, if Gyomei is anybody’s blorbo to the extent that Kyojuro is mine I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on him- I think he’s a massively underrated character and I’d love to understand him deeper!

-OUGHHH THE MUSIC!!!!!!! god I am LOVING the theme they did with the sanegiyuu fight that shit went CRAZYYYY. and the ANIMATION. look im biased because i love the way water breathing looks but godddd its so pretty. also drop ripple thrust mentioned!!!! we haven’t seen that form since Susamaru!!!

-is the next episode gonna be the last in this season?????????? where are they cutting this off?????? god i wish i could reread the manga but i lent the set to a friend so he could read it pain agony MY CROSS REFERENCES

- [MANGA SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT]

-I’m presuming Zenitsu’s letter was about his Master’s suicide, and Kaigaku’s transformation. I think it was really clever of ufotable to put this scene in Gyomei’s episode, and put spotlights on Kaigaku being the kid that first betrayed Gyomei- I think that fact was only actually mentioned in a Taisho Era Secret. That’s gonna blow a lot of minds in the finale arc lol

-I wish we got more development on Zenitsu in this arc. His processing of the letter, his departure from Tanjiro and the others. I think Zenitsu is also a really misunderstood character, and this arc doesn’t exactly do him many favors in that regard. I wish we’d gotten a bit of filler vis-a-vis his development, but I’m hoping we still get that in his fight with Kaigaku.

[enbypotat53]

OKAY so I just spent an hour collecting screenshots, time for the analysis!

(AS ALWAYS, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR INANIMATE INSANITY EPISODE 18 UNDER CUT!!!)

So I'll be tackling this like the episode 17 analysis, breaking it up into parts (except probably many, MANY more parts), but I'll start with Inanimate Island! (This won't be chronological, mostly just a by-area thing!)

And by god, do we start off strong. AN ANTHONY KOS SONG RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE?? HOLY SHIT.

Mephone thinking back on everything, his regrets about how he treated the contestants, his fears.. just. Wow. STRONG opening. (Also his little infodump to Mepad whilst they're still asleep/booting up, me too bud. Me too.)

Gotta admit I got choked up as soon as we started, both from built-up emotions whilst waiting, and just.. how powerful this was?? He cares SO damn much about the contestants, and Cobs destroyed EVERYTHING. This was his life, his escape (and we'll get to that later). Jesus, dude.

SPEAKING OF.

FUCK THIS GUY.

Holy SHIT did Joshua Waters do a phenominal job voicing him. I don't know if I've said it before but the II crew did SO good when they recast Cobs. Genuinely I don't think I could've asked for anyone better - you KNOW a VA is great when they can make you feel PHYSICAL RAGE just by saying their lines, y'know? When I first saw the trailer I had to actually take a break because I felt sick to my stomach just HEARING how this fuckass corn cob speaks to Mephone. His frequent infantalisation (both of Mephone, the contestants, the creatorbots, AND the viewers), and his manipulation, just.. eugh. He's probably the most well-written villain I've seen in a WHILE. AND HE'S SO PATHETIC?? He's a disgusting manchild who abuses his creations because it's the only semblance of power he'll get, and IT'S GREAT. I HATE HIM (/POS).

And ngl the self aware "it's good, just don't watch S1" gag made me choke on my lucozade, so thanks AE.

AND HOLY SHIT?? MEPHONE ACTUALLY FINDS HIS VOICE AND REBELS?? I'M SO PROUD OF HIM 😭💙

Again, more of Cobs being an asshole, but bless the Shimmers - they were so damn naïve, I'm glad they were warned and managed to get away, they just wanted their child back, man :(

NOW ONTO THE SCENE THAT MADE ME AUDIBLY SCREAM AND PUNCH MY BEDROOM WALL.

THEY KILLED MY BOY. MY BABY BOY.

Fun fact: I sent this message to a friend 2 hours before the episode dropped

Yeah I'm not okay.

Not gonna lie, I had a feeling it might've gone this way but I was PRAYING it didn't. Fuck, man.. Mepad is one of my absolute favourites for a multitude of reasons - he loves the contestants with all his heart, he'd do ANYTHING to protect them, and even though we could see how angry he was at Mephone in episode 17, he still gave his life to save him (and by extension, everyone else). He's a goddamn hero, but I wish he didn't have to die (and yes, I will be drawing fanart to cope). Glad he had a moment to be a badass though, Mepad is the living equivalent of "when the calm one gets mad, you know shit's about to hit the fan" and I love him for that 💙

ALSO LOOK HOW DISTRAUGHT TACO LOOKS?? MY BABY GIRL NO 😭😭😭

You could tell how much she cared about Mepad, and their friendship was SO important to me. I'll touch on this later but end song hurt my soul, ngl

AND WE OF COURSE HAVE COBS' DEATH.

So 10 image per post limit on the app fucked me over yet again, but I wanted to also briefly talk about Toilet so no popcorn image :(

I honestly think this death was so damn fitting for Cobs. It simultaneously feels dramatic, yet so utterly pathetic. It doesn't take itself too seriously, yet it's so built up and suspenseful - this is the moment we've ALL been waiting for. Seeing this bastard get his comeuppance. And to see his demise be a consequence of his vanity? He believed himself to be above everyone - he placed himself on a golden pedestal, thinking himself to be untouchable; he never would've believed he'd fall for such a simple illusion from "feeble minds", yet he did. He's a washed up old hack, through and through. All that grandeur? Just a façade. And honestly? The popcorn scene was so damn funny. Suitcase just casually offering Mephone a part of his father's cooked corpse had me cackling like a madman, it makes Cobs seem even more pathetic than he already was; reduced to a soft, delicate, utterly flavourless food that (if we're thinking about real-life movie theatres and how much popcorn people leave on the floor) is commonly stepped all over by everyone around. He remains in death how he always was in life.

(As always this'll be part one of the analysis, so strap in, folks! This'll be a long one!)

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[arkiwii]

well, since i can't really draw or write Arknights stuff because I'm really charged this month, but the brainrot is still very strong, i decided to do a tierlist of my favorite operators!

explanations below the cut

i don't count alters on this tierlist, when I put a character I consider it's them + their alter version; the choice of if I picked the alter or not for the vignette is only based on aesthetic choices, really. also for comprehensive reasons, i tried to put all the related characters next to each other (like how the abyssal hunters are all next to each other)

My most beloved precious blorbos: this one speaks for itself, honestly. operators i absolutely love, that i think about almost on a daily basis, no minded doodles every so often, writing ideas poping up in my mind, big wall of text about how much i like them, autistic thoughts, you know the kind. i just love them very much, simply. originally, saria and ifrit were in the tier just below, since i considered that since i have silence as my favorite character, i did not need to also put them, but i learnt to love them individually rather than for what they represent to silence

Big smooch on their forehead: characters that i know very well the story of, and that I'm really attached! not to the point of being my all times favorites, but who spoke to me to a personal level, or that i used a lot in early game/still use today. i love to read about them and would love to draw or write more about them! justice knight is here as a honorary member

I think they're neat!: i don't know them that well, but i followed them in events, or did a bit of research about them for a reason or another, or simply one of my friends like them! and i do think they're neat, pretty interesting, not the kind i'd be absolutely attached to but i enjoy seeing them regardless :]

I would like to know more about them: feat Abyssal Hunters, the Nearls and Gavial's crew. they are characters i know a little bit about them or they are related to a character i love, but i got too lazy to read their event and files because it's too complicated, or too long, or whatever. but they are characters i know enough about to know i'll appreciate them! so im interested in knowing more about them

Here goes all the other operators, aka "I don't care or I forgot you exist": well, the tier's name once again speaks for itself. theres a ton of characters in that game, and I can't focus on every of them, especially when i started not that long ago. there's a lot that i genuinely just forget about, some that i know the story but i dont care that much to know more, and a few that i do wish to know more about! but not as much interesting as the tier above, so not my priority

I hate you /pos: (i ran out of colors) annoying ass characters with a shitty personalities but they're fun for the memes and i use them regardless (except tequila cause mlynar exists). not like actual hate, mostly affectionate hate, you know, like how you call your cat "stinky", but you still love your cat regardless. fact, at first i was genuinely uncomfortable with lappland, but then with il siracusano i started to feel better with her

I hate you /neg: characters i despise either for game reason or because their smug aura mocks me. phantom is because fuck him in is2 and his story is ehhh to me. gravel is because this character is seriously uncomfortable, for the love of god can you act normal, and i wouldn't mind her if she wasn't guaranteed with every fast redeploy tag. harmonie and ho'olheyak are just smug bitches. and ethan i just have a hate experience because i dont like using him and his voice + the music playing when he appears makes me so anger

Brother you can just die: Silverash tier. fuck you silverash. i don't like his face, i dont like using him, and i did not followed break the ice but i heard enough bullshit about him to know he's a terrible person. i hope i never roll him

[neonmetro]

AHHHH I LOVE 618 !!!!!!!!! THEY ARE SO COOL BRO WTF.....

Aishire......can I take your daughter.....I have money to give you/silly. 618 IS SO AWESOME THE DESIGN IS EVERYTHING BRO......and ah yes, the man spread/j. Aishire just casually goes, "Oh yeah, one of the most powerful beings in Novaturient is indeed my daughter"

I NEED TO BE FRIENDS WITH 618.....CLEARY THE MOST PRETTIEST PRINCESS IN ALL THE LAND.....they are just so cool guys I'm sorry. I'm so ready for 618 content tbh 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Also....Raena and Azazels relationship makes me so sick in the best way possible. I love it when a relationship between characters make me feel that way because they are always so interesting. I feel sympathy for both sides, and it makes me feel so sick.....Raena is unaware of where Azazel is, and Azazel wants to get rid of Raena so they can stop feeling way they do.....ah godbless these two I wish these two were happy.....maybe in a non - canon universe somewhere....

Though, I would like to know Azazels thought process with wanting to kill Raena....Their reason for wanting to kill him is because of the reminder that they are a good person and because they feel bad. But after killing Raena, wouldn't they feel worse ? Because they now have the fact that they killed the one person who loved them on their consciousness ? It seems it's already difficult for them not to think about Raena, but I would think it would become even more difficult to not think about Raena after you kill him.....gosh, I love Azazel !!! They are so complex and I love it !!! Truly, I think Azazel is one of my favorite characters.....sigh. I wish these two would be happy Raena and Azazel forever guys 🩷🩷🩷🩷

I would also like to give a shout out to Beowulf and Junius......yeah their back on my mind and have actually been on my mind for a while.....it was gonna happen eventually guys because we all know paris anon favorite type of characters....😓😓😓😓I'm not expecting new info on these two, but if you have any, that would be awesome. I just wanted to appreciate them because they are beautiful princesses !!! :) 🩷🩷🩷

Also, deco and eve......sighs I was thinking a lot about them and their tropes and the more I thought about these two the more I felt really bad for them......it seems like they are constantly fighting for their independence and right to control themselves whether it's mentally or physically is that makes sense ? What drives them makes me so sad when I think about it and I just wanna hug these two so bad......I've also been meaning to ask this a while ago about eve but well I have the memory of a goldfish. A while ago, you mentioned that rule 4 by fish in a birdcage was eve, and I've been meaning to ask why.....I love that song so much I love Deco and Eve so much and I just wish they had it better, sending hearts to these two 🩷🩷🩷🩷 they have each other so I guess that's fine lol/silly

-Paris anon

HEHEHE THANK YEWWWW i got blasted this morning w this ask HOLY SHIT THANK YOU FOR THE PIPE BOMB /pos /pos (I CAN'T EMPHASIZE HOW MUCH THIS IS SO POSITIVE FOR ME)

618 is aishire's darling daughter... she would never give her up just for some extra cash... actually she would pay so much cash and throw hands just to see her she loves her so much (she's the only constant in his life since he was younger, his invention being apart of him has been realized through her.)

tbh its really funny. aishire's relation with 618 just gives him more parallels to ulysses

I FUCKING KNOWWWW RIGHT??????? RAENAZEL MAKES ME SICK. SICK!!! THEY'RE DISGUSTING AND I NEED THEM TO KISS... NOW!!!!!!!!!

but yeah! you're right! killing raena won't make them feel better, and they don't even know what happened to him, they just figured "aishire probably killed him off too, i wouldn't put it past her." that is entirely the point of why azazel cannot kill raena or moloch, for that matter. it Will not make them feel better, in fact, they'll feel worse.

they don't feel like they're a good person, but raena treats them the same way he always has, and it just serves to remind azazel that they still haven't changed from a weak willed person who has to depend on others to feel validated for their own existence (they've changed how they behave, they have changed, but they still need others' perceptions for their ego to stay in tact, if that makes sense)

frankly. not getting to kill raena or moloch was the easy way out for them, they only had to deal with the despair of being the same and losing their future rather than the despair of being the same, losing their loved ones, being their murderers, and how they can never change or take anything back.

HEHE TY.....!!!! they are probably one of my favorite characters to write for... they're so goofy and complex and babygirl.... THEY'RE A LOT OF MY FAVORITE TROPES PUT INTO ONE CHARACTER!!! ITS AWESOME!!

the beautiful princesses of the denizen district... i don't really have any new info on them? sighing and kicks a rock they're not my proudest corpheads tbh

i was debating on changing beowulf's name and backstory bc tbh it just doesn't hit as hard for me and i wanna be able to resonate at least a little with him

i also wanna rework junius but tbh i'm not sure how? but here's a little info: his full name is ganymede junius priam :) his siblings were involved in the illium war

DECO AND EVE!! aughghgh they're so tragic tbh... i think. despite the copious amounts of tropes they're shoved in, its contradictory and ultimately unproductive to do so since they are both Those tropes and actively defy them (if this makes sense...)

THEY'RE SO YOUNG TOO.... it's just . kinda reflective of what will happen when you get so consumed by the shit social med will feed you, you can't function anymore

rule 4's brother is the parasite vagabond that has attached itself to eve's spine. it both convinces eve that the world is a beautiful place but restrains them from experiencing it because it uses up so much of eve's energy to maintain its own energy. if the parasite vagabond dies, so does eve, so eve is confined to do the bare minimum to survive in their room, most days.

however, the brother is also deco. they're able to convince eve through their sheer enthusiasm for the world, that things Can get better, and even if it takes tearing up the entire city, deco will make sure they can help each other achieve their ideal bodies and by extension, mindsets

HONESTLY BACK THEN I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW THIS COULD ALSO APPLY TO DECO? eto.... bleh....

deco was raised in a room, full of all sorts of comfortabilities, but they couldn't really handle it anymore and ripped off all their wings, feathers, talons, all in a effort to look human.

[mutantninjamidlifecrisis]

Your 23!!!!!???? I’m also 23??!!!!!

Dude; how the hell did you get so good at writing/pos/affectionate

What are your secrets and tips??

Oh wow this got longer than I thought it would be but anyway lets kick this off by saying age is no number! Don’t ever feel like you’re too young/old to start/improve. Also take any advice I give here with a grain of salt! I’m a stem major, I specialise in Zoology, not English. I’ve never taken a writing class, this is just what I've found works from my own experience and also from talking with other people that write fics.

I think first up, have a concept that you deeply, deeply love - an idea that you want to see so bad you’re willing to remove it from your brain and write it down onto a page. This is harder than it sounds.

There are two types of writers, I think. Type One – the people that want everything structured and figured out before they begin, and then there’s Type Two - the others that go: Fuck it, we ball, and type out the story without a plan and let it fly by the seat of their pants. Both styles have their pros and cons. Sometimes when your story is too structured and you’re trying to drive through plot points the story can feel very stiff and rail-roady, like you’re trying to play out certain beats rather than letting the narrative go where it would naturally flow. But sometimes letting the story flow without a plan for long enough means you get lost in it, and it never actually come to an overarching message or end point (i.e., it can get very wish-washy, and parts you want to really hit are less likely to because you haven’t had a pre-established plan leading up to it). You’ll probably naturally lean one way or the other, but I think both these styles can and should be interchangeable when you’re in the process of writing a story. I think having a good structure is particularly important the longer your fic is. The way I usually do things is to have a loose structure set out (typing out dotpoints of what I want to achieve from a chapter and the sequence of events that will play out, and keeping this as a reference during the writing process), and then let myself go wild with everything else in between (probably how I end up with 10k+ chapters. Which. Is not advisable, I think 2-7k is a much more reasonable number).

You might also want to have in mind how long your story is going to be and how much time you’re willing to put into writing it before you start <- (CJ has many sadly abandoned wips because they lost sight of where the story was going and didn’t plan out their time schedule appropriately) I try to plan ahead and have some vague idea of where I want the story to end. This helps a lot with motivation when writing.

If you’re able to write out a one-shot, I would highly recommend it. I tend to really like writing multi-chapter fics because the brainrot gets to me and I have no impulse control.

Once you have your concept and your loose structure (start, middle, climax, end), you’re going to want to expand on things. i.e. what are you trying to say with your story. What are the themes that really hit for you. What scenes are going to make you go absolutely feral (you can write these first, if you want). I’ve got a scene a chapter or two ahead that I already have in mind that’s going to make me go insane, and that’s the carrot at the end of the stick that’s pulling me through areas that I don’t want to write so much.

I also have like, sheets for each character with a list of dotpoints relating to their background, motivations, feelings towards other characters and how these dynamics may evolve over time etc. This is a really useful resource to flip back to when I’m writing.

Research, research, research. Google, read, watch videos. Expand on the stuff that you do not know, or stuff that you do know and want to expand upon (for example, I have had a panic attack before. I can write from experience of what that is like, however I do not know what it’s like from other’s perspectives, and they may have completely different symptoms to my own). The more information you’re able to gather, the more believable and interesting the story is going to be to the reader.

Do Not. I repeat. Do NOT write that you are a new writer/sorry im bad at summaries <- that kind of stuff in your fic description if you’re going post to ao3. I know it is tempting. I have imposter syndrome and the urge to lower people’s expectations before they jump in is very strong, but you gotta at least pretend to be confident. The summary is for marketing yourself and convincing people to give you a chance. You can add that stuff to the author’s notes if you’d really like. People will usually be willing to give you a shot even if you think you’re summary is bad. And often your writing is a lot better than you think it is (after having stared at it for hours). Also, the more you write and post, the better you will get.

I guess the only other advice is uh… Read! Read a lot. I don’t read nearly as much non-fanfiction as I should, but I am constantly reading, and I do believe that there's some non-published stuff out there that's a lot better than "official" books or whatever. There’s so many amazing authors out there – fic writers or no, and there's always going to be someone (probably a lot of someones) better than you. Don't be discouraged by that! Keep in mind the kind of stuff that really affects you, and how the writer got you to that point.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten/left stuff out here so if you ever have more questions feel free to ask. Also google is your friend! There’s so many incredible resources out there that can teach you how to write/structure/improve your story.

Most importantly, have fun with it. You’re not getting paid; you don’t owe anyone anything. If you’re not enjoying yourself, what’s the point?

[ipegchangbin]

HOLY SHIT Z WHAT THE HELL⁉️⁉️😟😟🤯🤯

NEVER HAVE I EVER READ A FIC THAT MADE MY PUSSY THROB THAT MUCH‼️‼️🤭🙁🥵🥵😳😳😱😱😱

I READ THAT THING LIKE FIVE 5️⃣🖐️🤯 TIMES AND TMI BUT I GOT OFF ON IT TOO BC DAMN WAS THAT GOOD😝😝😋😩😫‼️💕🙏💕

I WOOOOUULLDD DO LIKR A WHOLE ANALYSIS (hehe analysis 😼😼🤭😛) BUT UMMMM UR GIRL IS HIGHKEY ASS AT WORDS‼️‼️😥😰😱😭😫 LIKE POOKIE‼️😫 I LITERALLY FAILED ALL OF MY ENGLISH CLASSES BACK IN HIGHSCHOOL😀😀😀😀⁉️⁉️⁉️BUT AAAANNNYWAYS WHAY YHE HELL Z 😱😱🤯🤯

THE WRITING IS LITERALLY SO AMAZING🤩😍😝😋😋😋

WHY⁉️⁉️😡😡

WHO GAVE U THE MF RIGHT TO WRITE THIS GOOD😡⁉️⁉️⁉️😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😾

BUT FR POOKIE WHAT DO U PUT IN YOUR FICS BC🥴🥴🤤🤤🤤😵‍💫😵‍💫😵😵‍💫😵‼️‼️‼️

THERES BARELY ANY BOYPUSSY FICS OUT THERE WHICH IS DEVASTATING 🤬🤬🤬😓😢😩😫😡🤬

UR MY SAVIOR Z‼️‼️🥹🥹🙌💕

ALSO YOUR ART OF BOYPUSSY HANNIE IS SO FUCKINF DELICIOUS LIKE I OPENED THAT LINK AND ZOOMED RIGHT ON THAT PUSSY AND I FUCKING DROOLED‼️‼️🥴🤧🤤🤤🤤💦💦 GUESS WHO TOUCHED HERSELF WHEN SHE SAW IT❓❓❓THATS RIGJT‼️‼️ ME😻☝️💕💕💦 I NEED MY MF MOUUUTYHH ON THAT JUICY MF PUSSSAAYYYYYY‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏😫😝👅💦

READER IS MUCH BETTER THAN ME🙌🙌🤧🤧 CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULD’VE PUT THAT VIBRATOR IN HIM AND ATE THAT MF PUSSY OOOUUTTT AND SUCKED THE LIFE OUTTA THAT CLIT😝😝😛😋😋🙏🙏🙏 RIGHT AFTER HE SQUIRTED LIKE IM FR GONNA MAKE HIM SQUIRT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IN MY MOUTH 😋😛😛😜💦💦🤪😍😍😍LIKE THIS TONGUE IS GONNA FUCKING ABUSE THAT ALREADY ABUSED CLIT EVEN MORE 👅👅💦💦‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️DID I MENTION I LOVE CLITS❓❓❓ IF NOT THEN I WILL NOW‼️‼️‼️ I LOVE CLITS‼️🙌😋 CLITS ARE SO FUCKING AMAZING‼️‼️😍😍😜😫🙌 EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING ABT STIMULATING A CLIT IM IMMEDIATELY BRICKED 🧱🧱🧱 UP⬆️☝️🆙👆CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULDVE TIED SUNGIE UP WITH A VIBRATOR TO HIS CLIT AND LEAVE HIM THERE FOR HOOOUURRRSSS‼️♾️😝😛😫☝️😋💦 I WOULD SPEND THE WHHOLE MF DAY ON THAT DELICIOUS CLIT ‼️‼️😍😛😋🙌👅💦😽👉👌OH MY GOD I SOUND GAY ASF BUT IDC BC ITS PUSSY‼️‼️😻🫰WHO DOESNT LOVE PUSSY⁉️⁉️⁉️😾😾I LOVE PUSSY‼️‼️‼️😛😛👅😻😽🙌 I WOULD EAT HANNIES PUSSY OUT ALL DAY ALL WEEK ALL MONTH ALL YEAR ALL CENTURY‼️‼️‼️‼️😝😜😜😽 THAT PUSSY IS SO MF JUICY💦💦 WND DELICIOUS AND IS BEGGING TO GET TOUCHED‼️‼️🙌👉👌😋

anyways pookie keep up the good work, amazing writing as always!! <3 🥰🥰💕 (definitely not rereading it for the fifth time and getting off on it…nooooo definitely not… ☺️☺️)

OH YM GOD i just logged in and this is the first thing i see 😭 I FUCKING SEE U ANON‼️ u are very seen

ANON I LOVE U SO MUCH MORE WTF THE AMOUNT OF PRAISE THAT U POURED OVER THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HAS BOYPUSSY BROKEN US BECAUSE IT SEEMS AS THOUGH IT HAS 😭😭😭 GOOD LORD and to think that this was supposedly just a private gift but mei is kind and i was able to post it … NOW IM SO GLAD I SHARED IT BC U HAVE FOOD TO EAT MY DEAREST ANON 😁

“ure my savior” yo…yo dont perceive me as messiah itll inflate the shit out of my ego /j and give me impostor syndrome /hj BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS gosh i cldnt stop giggling u made my day with these compliments like im just Some Guy but because of ur words i am now Some *Happy* Guy

and omg! URE RIGHT MAYBE SHOVING THE VIBE IN AND EATING HANNIES PRETTY BOY CLIT OUT WOULDVE BEEN SO GOOD…but then again…TEASING THE BOY JUST FEELS SATISFYING ‼️‼️ i love hannie and his clit actually i love pussy in general i wish i had boypussy especially boyclit in my mouth rn (in a non sexual casual way) (which was what reader intended) (until y/n and han both went CRAZY)

i wont lie this ask gave me massive eye strain from the emojis /pos like that brings me joy ?! its an impressive thought to know that somebody out there is losing their mind over silly words i wrote and a few lines that i drew. CRAZYYYY thats crazy?!!!

ill keep this entire ask, print it into a booklet form, and reread it as if its a mini prayer guide. i cant anon ure so silly and precious HAHAHAH hope u have the nicest day always!

[twilightknight17]

"Guys, holy fuck" - Part 1

Yesterday on P5T, we reached the end of the third kingdom. And man, I really wish I’d gotten to this point while I was still over at Po’s house, because it would have been nice to have someone to scream along with me while I frantically hit the button on my phone camera at lightspeed.

Atlus, what R U doing?

Well, first of all, we’ve got two more keys to get, and more of Toshiro and Eri’s story to uncover. The last two keys are a letter of challenge, and a recorder.

So what happened, is that Eri sent vice-principal Nakabachi the letter of challenge. They confronted him about what he was doing, and he basically laughed them off. Said that there was nothing they could do without any proof, and there was no way that they’d be able to get the other students to come forward because they were too scared of the blackmail he had on them.

So Toshiro came up with a plan.

They talk to the other students, and call the vice-principal to the roof. He thinks they’re going to grovel, but they confront him again. This time, with the other students backing them up. All of them, standing together!

The vice-principal laughs. He says that it’s still their word against his, and he will ruin their futures if they dare try to do anything else or tell anyone.

And Toshiro says, wow, didn’t think it would be that easy. And holds up the recorder. A full confession, spoken by the man himself. It’s exactly what they need.

In the present, Toshiro tells the Thieves that Nakabachi was fired. The revolution worked. And now they have all four keys, and its time to go to the locked music room and take out the ruler of this place! So they head up, unlock the door, and confront Nakabachi.

He turns into some big round robot that looks like a head, and the “rules” are not to use any skills. Somehow I teleported Erina over onto his platform earlier than planned, and ended up being able to hammer on him like that, so it actually wasn’t that bad of a fight. I’ve gotten some good personas by now, too. So, the ruler goes down! All is well! ...except he’s not down, because he’s not Nakabachi at all. He’s someone else. And he’s kidnapped Erina, and has another memory to reveal to Toshiro.

When they made their accusations against Nakabachi public, everyone jumped on board. Even the students who had never actually been victims. Students who were punished for things they actually did, students who had just gotten a “bad vibe” from him, people were making things up, even, just to be part of the pack. They were even harassing the man at his house after he was dismissed from the school. And he snapped under the strain of the constant harassment. He found Toshiro and Eri waiting for the train one evening, out of his mind, and pushed Eri in front of a train.

Toshiro tried to catch her, but couldn’t in time.

And he feels so guilty. He thinks it was all his fault. If he hadn’t stirred up this rebellion, if they hadn’t confronted the vice-principal, Eri wouldn’t have gotten hurt. She survived, but was in the hospital for a long time. No wonder he was burying all of this.

The students who harassed Nakabachi got in trouble, and most of the student body ended up blaming Toshiro. Because clearly they wouldn’t have gotten in trouble if Toshiro and Eri hadn’t led them to rebel in the first place. Which is complete bullshit, but, y’know, people trying to find a scapegoat.

And now that Toshiro remembers all of this, the rebels of the Kingdom turn on him and become Legionnaires, and are finally able to call him by name.

(And I gotta laugh at the letters that were visible right before they speak the whole thing. XD)

After a “survive X turns” battle (where I just barely scraped by without anyone getting KO’d), Toshiro is a wreck. To the point that he asks the Thieves to leave him behind, because if he keeps fighting, it’s just going to end with them getting hurt this time. And he doesn’t want that. He says that he might as well stay behind, and just--

And Futaba slaps the shit out of him before he can finish that thought. Because Futaba knows what it’s like to feel so terrible about a situation that you just want to die. And she’s not letting someone else fall in that pit. So everyone makes it back to the hideout in one piece.

We recover, we mentally fortify ourselves, we talk Toshiro down from the edge of a full-blown mental breakdown. Lavenza summons us to tell us that something is getting stronger. And it’s very malevolent. But she doesn’t know what it is. Vagueness is coming! Please stop taking after your great-grandfather, Lavenza. If you must, take after him from when he was actually helpful.

So anyway, with no clues about the malevolent vagueness, we head for the student council room, where Shadow Toshiro is waiting with Erina.

Gotta admit, I’m a little annoyed that the eyes of his sprite aren’t gold. Like, come on. COME ON. Atlus. Please. First your weird stepchild Velvet attendant and now this? But man oh man has he got stage presence. And he wants Erina dead. Toshiro is horrified by this, but the whole school crumbles to reveal like, a dramatic clocktower and stuff, and the shadow strings up Erina and tells Toshiro that as soon as they kill the stain that Eri left on him, everything will be better.

The Thieves sprint in to try to help, but he’s rigged a trap. He’s got these bandage things that he can control, and the Thieves get tied up and are left unable to reach them. Akira drops his dagger and manages to kick it to Toshiro (with a voiced line of dialogue!), but Toshiro can’t move.

Right up until the shadow gets ready to blast Erina. Then he is up, he is grabbing the dagger, he is throwing it right through the shadow’s hand. We love this man’s character development. God damn. The bandage things drop Erina over the side of the clock tower, and Toshiro lunges to catch her. He saves her, the way he didn’t manage to save Eri.

And now Erina knows who she is.

His persona. Somehow.

Even though his shadow is right there.

So we’re going to stop for a second while the Thieves have a dramatic fight against Shadow Toshiro (who uses an annoying shield). Because what is this place, really? It’s like an extremely complex Dungeon more than anything, I suppose, since it’s about all of this trauma that he’s been keeping buried. But multiple aspects existing simultaneously leans closer to my version of a heart world, and the only other person who’s canonically had a cognitive world with multiple aspects of themselves running around is Maki, who was a Wild Card.

Toshiro’s awakening is also a strange combo of a P4 and P5 awakening. He confronts his shadow and accepts the flaws in himself that he needs to overcome, but he also gets the mask and blood. Which is fine, except that the mask immediately disappears after he pulls it off, he doesn’t get a metaverse outfit, nothing. So… they could have skipped the mask. His awakening wasn’t really a “rebellion” awakening. Just go with P4-style if he wasn’t going to get the full-blown outfit change.

Yes I KNOW I am probably thinking too hard but Blowtorch is metaphorically sitting on my shoulder and we are wondering why the lore isn’t clicking!! XD

(Also the persona’s name is Ernesto, and I’m not really sure I vibe with the inspiration there? Like I get it, but there’s probably better ways to have done this whole thing. Love the design, tho.)

I've hit the image limit, so please hold for part 2. X'D Also, check out Yusuke's fancy new water gun.

[xelinezeddiorsstuff]

Ch 2: New beginnings...?

"Nice to meet you."

It's been 5 hours now, my eyes are puffy as hell. I've been crying for two hours, at first I yelled at shit then I watched a show which turned out to be a bad idea since now I'm crying because of a breakup scene. The Ice cream is finished and thrown away now, the wine I haven't opened just yet. I stopped for a minute, I didn't completely stop since I was still sniffling and tears were still falling.

I stood up and finally grabbed the box that Mark had given me. It was small, I was hoping that it wasn't jewelry because knowing my Serena nature I would not be able to control my urge to value it like treasure when it came from the hands of a man whose feelings were about his future and not mine. I open the box only to see that it had inside that said "I'm sorry." I immediately crumpled it and threw it in my trash can. There was confetti but I froze when I finally revealed that the gift was the bracelet I made for him when we started dating.

I started sobbing again since the meaning of that was when I made him that bracelet and gave it to him, he would only give it back to me when he finds someone much better. Young me believed him when he said that I will never be replaced but now I cry thinking that the promise that he promised 16 year old me was now broken. I spent so much time on that bracelet but now I wanted to destroy every way you can but my Serena nature kicked in, I just held it tightly clutching near my chest since that meant so much to me. I pull out the one you had when you taught him how to make said bracelet and put them both on the table sobbing while looking at the both of them. 

------- 

I stopped crying after a while, my eyes hurt so much. Even with my eyes hurting I decided to be stupid and open my phone. Bad idea because I forgot to unfollow and I saw his latest tweet. Shit. 

I can't fucking believe it. The famous supermodel Ysa? He was dating her and got her knocked up. I thought he knew how to have safe sex especially when we talked about it when it came to my boundaries for that topic since we were still preparing for it. But now I know that he's been sleeping with someone, that someone being the person I found an inspiration for my clothes and style with. I was so frustrated, I didn't know what to do, even being a psychology major you still have instances of not knowing what to do in different scenarios like this. I knew it ever since they both were in the same commercial, I had a strong gut feeling but I guess Ysa’s gut is feeling something now huh. 

In the heat of it all, I was impulsive. I took the bottle of wine and took a huge gulp from it. Another, another, and another gulp. Then I called my boss, and told him that I was quitting my job and started to rant to him about what happened that day. The next thing I remember was that I was on the goddamn floor with the wine from last night. 

I remember waking up in a wavy room? Shit it’s the hangover, I tried standing up despite my arms and legs feeling loopy. My head was spinning and my mind was just waking holy shit. Once my brain was semi awake, someone was banging at my door. 

"Isla! Tanghaling tapat na! Di ka pa nagigising?!" (Isla! It's Twelve noon already! Aren't you going to wake up?!") My auntie yelled as today was one of her free days. "Gising na po!" (Awake already!) I yelled groggily, everything is still spinning, the pain in my head just got worse, and worst of all I feel like I'm about to hurl everywhere.

*Slam*  My door barges open, my auntie goes towards me and looks at me up and down and gives me a disappointed look. "Jusko Lord Isla. Di ka naawa sa sarili mo ha? Nagtretrending ang boyfriend si Mark sa TV na ipapakasal na siya. Kabet ka lang pala?" (For christ sake Isla, Don't you feel sorry for yourself? Your boyfriends have been trending on TV with news of him getting married. Are you a side chick now?) My auntie questions so invasively while I am still trying to control my hangover. I wished she didn't have to know but Mark was dating a famous model. I took a deep breath in and just shook my head. I didn't want to answer her now because my priority was to get out of my hangover and start my day officially. 

"Ano? Di ka sasagot?" (What? Are you not going to answer?) My aunt asked, crossing her arms. I took a deep but shaky breath "Siya ang nanloko, hindi ako kabit. Nabuntis niya yung babae na yan." (He's the one who cheated, I never became a side chick of his. He got the model pregnant.) I said groggily and angrily and stood up to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. 

"Yan kasi, lagi ka nalang nandito eh. Yan tuloy na loko ka. Sayang pa naman ang pogi ba rin naman ni Mark '' (That's because, you're always here stuck at home. And now there you go you got cheated on. Such a waste as well, Mark was very good looking.) I put the toothbrush down and put it down on my sink and turned to look my auntie in the eye. I was mad, not only did she just invalidate how I got cheated on but she was taking HIS side on that just because of my job in which she forced me to take inside of the house only. That’s it I’m not taking anymore of this, I’m gonna push this a quarter towards speaking about this situation and most of it 

 "I got cheated on because it was his choice. He had no right to cheat on me when he has always told and promised me that he will be patient towards me and my career matters no matter what. and maybe you may have forgotten but I'm a cumlaude of B.S Psychology I study these types of issues within a human mind. If he was that easily tempted by some girl who struts on a catwalk wearing pieces of clothing that are considered by the privileged as art then he was not the one for me at all. And second of all, don't use my job as the reason because you were the person who forced me to work from home. You know what? I'm not gonna work from home anymore since I'm going to be taking that job that Kuya showed me." I yelled each and every single one. I know that my actions weren't controlled during that time but I couldn't think straight as well since I was really in a bad hangover and she was getting on my nerves. 

Next thing I know after I said that Slap! My aunt slapped me in the face. I held on to the cheek that she slapped as soon as it was done, tears were forming, and I was scared.

"Abah sumasagot ka na. Sino ba nag sabi saiyo na papayagan ka mag work ka outside of the house ha? Akala mo maka survive ka na wala ako? Ha! Tignan mo lang Isla." (Wow you're talking back now. Who told you that you could work outside of the house? You think you can survive without me? Ha! You'll see, Isla.) My auntie yelled before going away and slamming the door. 

"Tangina naman, ang ganda ng buhay sobra."(For fucks sake, life is beautiful really beautiful.) I sarcastically yelled. 

'Oh I'll show you, I'll show all of you'  I thought to myself before drinking my pain killers and trying to get out of my hangover.. 

The anger was still there, no matter what, it was there. I knew my Auntie loved Mark, even though she tried to put me in an arranged marriage beforehand when she knew I had a boyfriend but once she met him, you could just tell that she already making wedding plans. My aunt would involve him in everything after that, making him feel like family. I get that she's mad, but that anger shouldn't be directed at me, I'm not the one who fucking cheated.

Once I did, the first thing I did was eat breakfast and drink plenty of water then I transferred my clients files since well I impulsively quit my job because of my stupid drunk self. Then delete them all after I have transferred all. Some of my patients reached out and thanked me for treating them well and giving them hope for themselves in which for me made the job worthwhile.

 And then started to work on my interview, I did research on the school, on what interview questions they would ask, on what kinds of interview questions I can have. This job feels like its calling me, meaning I really have to do well on this interview. I even learned about the staff, the principal, the PE teacher, The Werewolf sex education teacher, The Botany teacher, and many more.

This is my chance to prove to Tita that I have a chance. So that's all I did all day before the interview. It was the same routine: wake up early, swim in the ocean, argue with my auntie, eat breakfast, then the whole day I prepared for my interview. 

Sure it's unhealthy of me to overwork myself to do well in this interview but, I'm not going to let Mark win by just sulking and missing him. No, he gave me this opportunity to make a name for myself and now I'm doing it. And this was also a way to prove to my auntie that I could be on my own now, I could go out and meet people like me. And never ever go back to being isolated. Which is why I’m treating this like it was my bar exam.

------------------------------------

The day of the interview 

The alarm I set was two hours before the interview. For the first time in a while, I made myself breakfast, the classic egg and longganissa breakfast, brushed my teeth, took a warm and peaceful shower, and did some house chores so that Kuya won't have to worry much later.

I picked out what to wear and then settled on my favourite but not frequently used pink suit.

I was preparing for the interview when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in, I'm done changing." I answered while putting a pink blazer on for my interview. My cousin came in with something in his hand. "Ayyy, she's getting ready na, how are you feeling?" He asked while looking around me to see if I had any flaws with the formal wear I was wearing. "I'm a bit nervous, but at the same time, I'm excited because this whole thing is gonna be so new to me." I said while straightening my jacket. 

He looked at his watch, and it was almost time for him to go, also nearing the time when my interview was going to start. "Aalis na ako ha? Good luck sayo, Isla." (I'll get going already, Goodluck Isla) He hugged me tightly. "HOY KUYA YUNG BLAZER GUGUSOT YAN." (HEY KUYA, MY BLAZER IS GONNA GET CRUMPLED)  I shouted while playfully slapping him. He laughed, then let down before saying his final goodbye. I straightened my blazer once again and checked the time it was almost my interview. 

My tita walked and saw me before I was going to sit down on my desk. She gave me a glare then walked up to me. “Kahit kelan eh noh, lagi nalang ako mali, lagi na lang ikaw ang tama. Sana di ka papasa dito, sinasabi ko na sayo na di safe sa labas pero gagawin mo parin toh” (Everytime everywhere, I’m the one who's always wrong. You’re the one who’s always right. I hope you don’t pass this interview, I already told you it's not safe out there and yet you still do this.) My aunt then left. ‘Wala naman goodluck diyan putangina?’ (Not even goodluck there fuck this)

I slammed my palm against the wall when I heard my auntie go out of the house. I was frustrated.

Ever since my mom died, she has been this asshole, from making me transfer to a public school where I got bullied just from coming from a private school to nearly forcing me to date a guy when she knew I was dating Mark until she saw him. I don't know what she thinks that was going to do when she did all of those, but I finally rebelled when I chose to choose psychology instead of modelling like Mark.

That was the first time I rebelled, normally I would have felt bad like when I was in highschool and I would extend just a little bit to get a taste of street food due to how hungry I was at that time but when I did so, I would always apologize and get grounded.

I collected myself and started doing breathing exercises. This made me calm down for a while, but it was obvious that I was pissed but not to worry since I'm able to control my emotions when it came to serious settings, or so I hope.

I sat on my desk and clicked on the zoom link they sent me. While I was waiting the nerves kept going up to me while I waited for the call. I really want this to work or else I'm letting my tita control which I do not want anymore. 

All those thoughts stopped when someone entered the Zoom call. She had wavy medium red hair, wearing a brown cardigan, those thick framed glasses. I was stunned for some reason. She looked to be older than and definitely not the principal I saw on the website. It was.. 

"Good morning there in the Philippines. I'm Marilyn Thornhill, the botany teacher of Nevermore and I'm here to be your interviewer. I’m sorry for the sudden change of interviewer, Miss Weems had to take care of something and I was here already so.., Miss Isla are you ready?”

[tojikai]

THESE SNEAK PEAKS ARE SO WILD 😳🫣🫢🫨

NAOMI SHAKING, THROWING UP AND PISSING AS SHE SHOULD!!!

i love what i see so far but i know we aren’t out of the woods yet. thanks for dropping the sneak peaks i saw the notification and instantly was thinking “fuck, stay calm you haven’t even see what they wrote yet, keep it together”. i do fell bad for satoru being a baby trap kid and also bc of what that hoebag did (don’t say her name challenge has started) at the same time i do think about how he doesn’t set proper boundaries, put reader through 83 versions of hell and isn’t firm when reader has to deal with his pos mom and her sidekick whore of a trophy daughter in law (i chose violence for approximately 14 hours oh well)

when you replied to that ask with going zero to prison real quick i instantly behind the screen was like “i feel seen 🫨🫢🥺🥹🤭🥰♥️ 🫶” and was like damn past me would have been shook with the in-laws not liking me despite me drinking my water and minding my business(this brought back memories of my first actual bf’s mom preferring his ex over me despite me making a better first impression than her. he even cheated on me with her and someone i once considered a sister; someone told me inadvertently they had sex like a year later despite him telling me that she cheated on him)

also if you don’t mind me asking has your birthday passed…? i didn’t want to miss it 🥺

another thing… i know i blow up your ask box a lot and enjoy my takes and my mental word vomit but thanks for not being annoyed at me and for being kind towards me 💓

- paragraph/theory anon

omg im sorry u had to got through that, u dont deserve that, u seem like such a sweet person 🥺💔 and yep, satoru being a babytrap kid is truly sad, especially with how he found out abt it :(( and plsss my temper is gets so bad w people like that, i just need to stop and think before i do something 💀 anyways my birthday is on Saturday !! that's so sweet of u~ please let me know abt yours too so i can send my wishes <33 i always enjoy your takes and grateful for your support~

[ariel-gremlinzkeep]

Y'know, this might come off as weird, but...

You're probably the only good Christian Rise!Artist I know.

There's another Christian Rise!Artist out there known as EncryptedOS, who chooses to be homophobic because of her religion.

And it makes me feel terrible, especially since I'm trans (female to genderfluid, she/him/they/it preferably) and panromantic, and I used to be Christian (until my stepdad figuratively said "EAT SCIENCE!!" and I stopped being under that religion, to some people's disappointment...)

So I just want to say thank you for being an openly inclusive person and thank you so much for not dehumanizing people like me :]

Wander (formerly Spooks/Drift, please don't feel forced to answer-)

Damn ya got me tearing up a bit here. /pos

I am pretty sure I know who you are talking about, it's awful how some people (a lot unfortunately) use their religion as a shield for hate. It quite literally boggles my mind how people can just be so.... demonizing? Judgmental. Snooty. Dehumanizing. Rude. Raging assholes. Take your pick.

I've got a dozen+ adopted/claimed/stolen kiddos & dang near every one of em is a different flavor of the rainbow. I am proud as fuck of each & every one of them & love them for who they are. I am proud of them for having the courage to be true to themselves.

Hell I am proud of all the rainbow peeps who live their pride and their lives to the fullest. That includes those who are still in their shells or learning who they are or unable to be open about who they are or unsure where exactly they fit in among the 💫gaes💫~. All love & good wishes & prayers to my rainbow peeps of every flavor.

Another amazing Christian Rise!Artist artist is my buddy @emmyawards201 . She is a literal ball of spicy sunshine. She would throw hands for our rainbow peeps. Wouldn't ya, Ems?

Here is a bit of encouragement:

You are doing amazing. You are who you are meant to be. I see you. There is nothing wrong or broken about you. You are a brilliant star who gets to shine in a different hue. Bright and beautiful. This internet momma hen is proud of you for being true to yourself.