#makes me feel better about myself for some reason and i'm happier than i was before so shush

[roboticchibitan]

Today I'm going to talk about a form of radical resistance that anyone, no matter their situation, can engage in: cultivating hope.

Are you filled with hopelessness and despair at the state of the world? I have some good news and some bad news.

The bad news is you've fallen for a tool of the status quo. Despair freezes us. It keeps us from imagining and working towards a better world. Despair is easy, because it means we have no reason to take action to make things better. Capitalism? Our oppressors? They want you hopeless for a reason. Because you're easier to control that way.

The good news is! There's a lot of very real reasons for hope. However, hope is something you have to cultivate. It takes work. It is a radical act. It is looking at the status quo and going "actually, no. I refuse."

Maybe you can't risk losing your job to unionize your workplace. Or maybe you're an oppressed minority who can't risk going to protests because our criminal justice system is racist. But cultivating hope in yourself is just as radical an act of resistance as those two things. It is another form of imagining and working towards a better world.

It's not as flashy as starting a union or going to a protest, true. Maybe it feels selfish, like you're only helping yourself. But that's not true. It's a lot harder to help others when you, yourself, are frozen by despair. By working on yourself, you are making it easier for you to help others, in whatever form that takes for you.

For me, since I started my hopepunk practice I have been more able to engage in activism, even if I no longer post about it. Before calls to action froze me. I was so overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of our problems that I was unable to address any of them.

Since I've started cultivating hope in myself, I've unfrozen enough that I was able to choose the causes that matter to me and put my energy there. I engage in more charitable donations and political actions now than I did before. I am happier and also helping others more than I did before.

Cultivating hope in yourself is hard at first. You feel defeated before you even start. But you start putting work in and you find a little hope. And then a little more. And a little more. And then, suddenly. It snowballs and you're doing better than you have in years, and hope comes easier to you now.

If you don't know where to start, go follow @hopepunk-humanity @hope-for-the-planet @afeelgoodblog and @reasonsforhope or follow the hopepunk tag

There's also things like the good news network, who have a daily email they send out with a handful of positive news stories. Some of them I find kinda dumb and shallow like "lost dog returned after 3 years" type stories. But there's also a lot about scientific advancments in green energy, medical care, etc that I find helpful for cultivating hope. Did you know about the CRISPR gene editing tool that's being used to cure incurable illnesses? I didn't! And now I do! afeelgoodblog also runs a substack "best news of last week" newsletter every Monday that I find has stories with more substance, tho it is US focused.

Despair isn't helping anyone, especially not you. Engage in a radical act and start cultivating hope in yourself. You deserve to leave that despair behind, and in the process, you are directly going against the powers that have decided we are easier to control if we are miserable.

[sierrale8ne]

40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER THIRTEEN

thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlifwy @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @makethemhoesmad @slvt4her @luvapaigeeyy @hedidnotpleaseme @paigesbabygirl @mopopshop @omg-imtumbling @numberonepartyanth3m @wbb4l @authentic-girl03 @slut4uconnwbb @unadulteratedcyclepaper @kplum10 @fuddfanatic35 @avvwritesstufff @paigesluver @bueckersbitch

warnings this one is pretty sad ngl, some internal realizations, angst

kalena speakss 🪽! don’t jump me i swear things are happier next chapter lmao

July 2025 — Los Angeles, California

I’m happy.

The phrase plays over and over in my head like a mantra, like I'm trying to convince myself more than I am everyone else.

Music blares loudly at the Sparks gala, some fancy art museum that was all done up to make our coach and our GM look good, and to make the hundreds of rich donors in the building give money to the organization.

It’s working though, apparently a new practice facility is on the way.

It’s my first Gala, which means Brit dressed me in a fancy pinstriped suit: white button up, black tie. My hair, freshly dyed, falls straight over my shoulders. Some silver chains layered on my neck, studs in my ears.

I look good.

And in a room full of women, I should be taking advantage of the opportunity. But I’m not even sure I want to with the way Maraye is all I can think about.

I think it’s been, scratch that, it's literally been the longest five days of my life. I’ve sent so many texts that my thumbs are swollen, and checked my phone at all hours of the night that my eyes were burning. 

She runs through my head during all hours of the day. And if I had a chance to talk to her just once I think everything would be fine.

So you can imagine how quick my neutral expression just flips when I see her. Maraye, in a beautiful floor length navy gown. Her hair done up in a side part, a golden cuff tracing her ear. The tattoo that trails down her neck to her shoulder is even more visible by the way her hair drapes over her shoulder.

I knew she was here, her attendance being part of the reason I dressed up and made my way here. She was all I needed to see. Not all the investors that wanted to talk to the number one pick, or anyone else who wanted me to be Paige Bueckers the basketball player.

I needed to see her. The one who made me feel like I was just me.

"Either y'all say something to each other or move on, P." Cameron snickers as she watches my attempt to just go through the motions. "You have all these girls here and you’re not paying ‘em any mind."

Raye had just finished up a conversation with Coach Roberts. Which makes the smallest change to my expression because there she was, smiling and laughing with my head coach and I can’t help but to wonder if they’re talking about me. If just a little bit of that bright smile of hers is at the mention of my name.

"Better watch out, that girl over there with her mouth watering." Dearica jokes as she points to whoever the hell is making her way over to Raye with her hand on Raye’s arm. 

A blonde. Hair shorter than mine and she herself is probably shorter than me too. 

I can’t even see her face, but I bet she’s smiling, telling her some corny joke because it makes Raye giggle, and now I’m angry. There’s no way it could be that funny.

I feel wrong. Out of place in a room where, in the least cocky sounding way possible, I literally commanded attention.

But none of it matters, because I stand here, letting my teammates ridicule me over something they know nothing about, while wanting to insert myself into whatever she and Maraye were discussing.

Even more than that, me and her had our own private matters to discuss. There were too many words left unsaid to bring to the surface.

I couldn’t let it all go to waste without talking to her. That’s it. I let it go for five days, but any longer and I was sure that there’d be no more fixing it.

“Okay, I was just kidding but— oh my God you have feelings for her.” Cameron chuckles, and from the corner of my eye I see her jaw drop a little.

“Cam, just shut up for a second.”

I think about when I went to dinner with Nika, and the most important thing that sets in my head while I’m shamelessly staring is when she asked if there was anything holding me back.

Then, I said yes. That the thing was holding me back from Raye was my career.

But now, I feel like an idiot because the real thing holding me back was myself. My shitty relationship skills and my very obvious commitment issues when it came to having feelings for someone.

In what felt like milliseconds, my feet were moving faster than my brain and I was almost in reach of her when my eyes connected with Raye’s. 

I can’t read her face. If she’s still hurt or if she wants to find a way to hit me with a car. It’s just blank. Which in my opinion is ten times worse than her giving me a reaction. There is none. 

I do, however, pick up on this; the pure amusement when a girl approached me.

I remember her. Tanned skin and curls that framed her face. One of the few girls I’ve had a one night stand with after getting drafted. 

"Paige, hey!” She grins, her hand resting on my forearm.

I couldn't help but look past her to see Raye’s response. It was clear that she didn't look pleased, turning away to listen to whatever was being said by other blondie. 

I had to make a decision and it was literally my future vs. my very embarrassing past. I just know that letting this conversation continue for even a second longer, was a second that would make Raye hate me more than I think she already does. 

"Sorry, if you'll excuse me." I mutter without another thought, not even taking a second look at the woman in front of me, choosing to continue my path to her.

Raye looks at me shocked. Her eyes went wider and her serious expression faltered just slightly.

I don’t even speak, just inserting myself in the space between the fellow blonde and the woman I hoped to take home tonight. Which might be just a bit forward, but I decided then that I didn’t even care.

"Buckets, good to see you!" The blonde greets me, a smile on her face as she senses nothing ill behind my appearance and shakes my hand.

My eyes don’t even look down to her for more than a second, physically stuck to the beauty in front of me. 

"Mind if I cut in and speak to Maraye real quick?"

Raye raises her brow before placing her empty glass down. A cup of what I assume had to be a lemon drop. 

Her hand presses to that girl's shoulder, smiling much to my irritation. But luckily she ends the conversation there, hopefully keeping it that way for the rest of the night.

Then she’s walking off in front of me, and my legs are moving all too fast to catch up to her. I end up following her out the gala hall and down the hallway, past some stairs, and then she stops. Turing on her Jimmy Choo heels to look at me with her arms crossed.

When I was laying in bed or sitting on my couch, the words I needed to say came easy. Having her stand in front of me though, makes it so much fucking harder. 

“You don’t get to do this.”

“Ra—”

“Breaking up my conversation? What, Paige. What could you possibly have to say to me right now?” She asks me.

It’s a good question. I don’t know what I should tell her. Sorry isn’t going to cut it, not with her. I know better than to even try it again. 

“Raye, we just need to talk. That’s it. It’s been five days.”

“And I don’t think that’s long enough! I spent seven days thinking about you and you spent seven days avoiding telling me the truth.” She bites. “I’m not ready. Let me be ready.”

And just as fast as I got her alone, she’s pushing off her heels and walking past me, so quick that I don’t even get the chance to reach for her. To hold her back and tell her everything that I’m feeling.

That— the inability to speak to the only person that I really want to be around— that hurts more than anything else I think I’ve ever felt in my life.

So I lied. I’m not happy.

I’m very fucking miserable.

—

July 2025 — Los Angeles, California

It’s hard to explain the feeling.

When I was in her house— Paige trying her hardest to keep me there, within reach— my mind was racing. When we stood face to face at the gala the other night and Paige was looking at me with all the hurt so obvious in her eyes, my heart almost stopped completely.

But now that it’s been over a week since I found out, I think the closest thing to describe all this is numb. I’m numb to it all.

Every time something comes along that reminds me of her— a pretty blonde on the tv, a tweet about the sparks, anything fucking purple— I don’t get upset nor do I cry, I just sit there. Like I'm doing now.

Cassie sits soundly next to me on the couch, I’ve decided that I really needed some older sister love tonight. My head rests on her shoulder, a plate of banana pudding in my lap that reminds me too much of Paige and the first night I really got to know her.

It’s all too emotional. The way Cassie runs her hands through my hair or rubs my shoulder without asking questions. Add on the romance movie on the screen.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, 10 Things I Hate About You plays on my TV, and watching Kat Stratford read her poem makes the tears flow from my eyes nearly as hard as they did last week.

“Ra—no, don’t cry! It’s okay.” Cassie immediately attempts to comfort me, but my eyes aren’t even glued to the screen anymore.

They stare up at the ceiling, as if looking at the white expanse would stop them from falling.

It doesn’t. 

It just gives me the perfect background to picture me and her. All of the late night FaceTimes. I can see the screen of my Mac, or my phone, and I can see her in the center of it. I can hear that laugh, loud and so uniquely Paige. 

All the late night drives, the chipotle runs, the waffle house breakfasts. Everything I’ve ever done with her just consumes me. 

Cassie’s palm spreads over my check, attempting to wipe what’s left of the streaks on my face. It’s almost second nature to her, taking care of me.

“Okay I wasn’t gonna mention Paige, but now you’re crying over a movie we’ve seen thousands of times.” She starts tugging me into her and rubbing my back gently. “Talk to me Chuchi.” She pouts and I laugh at the nickname I probably haven’t heard since I was like 12 years old.

I’ve done a good job at keeping this whole Paige thing under wraps. Nobody knew what was going on between us anyway, and I don’t think we really knew what was going on either until it was being stripped away.

But it was stupid of me to think my sister wouldn’t pick up on the signs. I used to find every excuse to bring Paige up in conversation, and now I haven’t talked about her for a week. 

“Is it supposed to hurt this bad?” I ask. “Cause if it is, I swear I’m never getting involved with another woman again.” I sniff, wiping my eyes languidly.

“If it does, that just means you really like her.” Cassie explains. It’s so soft. Like saying anything else, anything real, would break me apart into a million pieces. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

I do. So, I do.

I tell her everything, she’s my sister of course. I leave out nothing, telling her everything I felt when Paige first tumbled into us at the game. To the dinner party, which makes me cry some more over the banana pudding.

Each memory replays in my head like a vivid movie scene. The way Paige kissed me: always skillful but still a bit hesitant like she was trying to learn me, learn my tells and what makes me smile. And as I speak I can still feel her lips and her hands, smell her cologne so vividly that I swear it’s probably lingering on my hoodie right now.

I can so clearly recall everything that went down in her apartment. How fucking happy I was behind that door and how my smile only grew when she opened it and I got to see her again. After days of yearning for her. 

After days of wanting her and thinking of her and needing her.

How she touched me that day. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to tell her about how Julian and I were done. But she still touched me so intimately. Like she already knew. 

Her hands on my thighs and mine playing with that blonde hair on the nape of her neck. Blue eyes staring into mine like she’d die if she looked away.

Paige had that way of making you think you were the only person in the world. The only person she wanted or cared for, just by looking into your eyes.

And I fell victim to it.

I remember every single word she said to me that day. I also remember every single word I said to her.

Which doesn’t really help when you’re trying to convince yourself that you’re not in the wrong. That walking out was a good decision.

The way her voice raised when she got defensive, telling me I didn’t “get to be upset”. Then the way it immediately contrasted when she apologized. That subtle crack of her voice replayed in my mind over and over like a skipping record. 

I’ve only ever been cheated on once in my life. I was young, in high school, in a relationship that lasted a few years.

And that one hurt. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep.

It did make for some good music.

But this. This whatever with Paige feels ten times worse.

I swear I can feel each pulse and throb of my heart in my chest. Each mention of her name causes a few stray, dramatic tears to pool at my waterline.

By the time I finish telling Cassie everything, my nose is already puffy and reddened. I think I’ve stopped crying now, but I'm not sure because my cheeks are still wet. Tissues pile in my lap and some new romance movie plays on the screen. 

I didn’t know how much I was holding back until now. Until it was all laid out in front of me and my sister.

“You gotta talk to her, Raye.” She shrugs. I know I do. But thinking about it and actually doing it are two different things.

I look at her wearily. My tongue is poking at the corner of my lips as I think. “I dunno if I’m ready yet, Cas.” I mumble, my voice low. Almost embarrassed.

“I know.” She comforts, running her finger over my knee. “But maybe hearing her out is gonna make things clearer for you. Don’t let this get in the way of what you want.”

I let that sink in. Replaying her words in my head until they stick. 

Don’t let this get in the way of what you want.

— 

July 2025 — Seattle, Washington  

The ball passed through the net consistently. Swish after swish as if I had a point to make or something to prove. 

And I do.

I’ve been playing like shit these last couple games before all-star. I blame it on Maraye and my inability to get her out of my head.

So instead of getting sleep, and quite possibly dreaming about her and those perfect eyes, I’m on the court at our hotel, putting up shot after shot until the sound of the nylon and the leather becoming one just meshes in my brain like music.

Music. Yet another thing that reminds me of her.

“What the hell are you doing?”

It’s Rickea. Her voice is easy to spot even with my back turned.

“I’m getting shots up Kea.”

“Well I can see that. It’s two in the morning, P.” 

I chase after my rebound once again before looking at her lazily. Completely decked out in Sparks gear, similarly to myself.

I think my silence in this whole matter is part of the reason why I’m struggling so badly. But I don’t know who to talk to. Azzi and Nika would take it upon themselves to fix it. Cam would call me an idiot, which I’ve accepted at this point but still it isn’t what I need. 

Kea already told me my head would be served on a silver platter for making a mess.

So I keep it all to myself.

Basketball was my therapy. I’d get in the gyms and shoot till someone was coming in and telling me to go home. Then, everything would be fine.

Except now it’s not fine. Because I get up, go to the gym, and the entire time I’m shooting, I just think about Raye.

“Ion know what to do, Kea.” I shrug, my voice sounding so different than what I’m used to hearing. It’s not certain, actually the complete opposite.

I take another shot. The second it leaves my hands, I know it’s off. The rim clunks loudly at my miss, and that alone is enough to break me down from the inside out.

“Paige.”

“I need to get her back.” I sniff, not even registering the single tear that immediately trails down my cheek. “Help me get her back, Kea.”

Rickea is walking over to me in an instant, stepping in front of me to stop me from grabbing another ball and letting this cycle consume me for another couple hours. She looks at me with something I can’t quite grasp. Like sympathy, but at the same time her eyes are stern like she’s pissed at me.

I deserve that. She told me she’d kill me if I hurt Raye. And I did, bad.

“Paige. Jus’ breathe, aight? Breathe and listen to me for a second.” She says, hands splayed on my shoulders in an attempt to ground me. 

This is the most vulnerable I’ve ever been with any of my teammates, let alone Rickea. Usually it’s dumb jokes, and making fun of each other, prying a bit too hard into each of our personal lives. But I nod anyway, taking a shaking breath and wiping my face.

“I’m not gonna tell you how much you fucked up. You already know that.” She starts. “You’re so used to being in control that when you’re not, you start spiraling. Just breathe. Give her time.”

She’s right. I’m usually in control of everything. My career, my family, Maraye. And now that she’s taking control of us, causing that distance, I don’t know what to do. 

“This shit fuckin’ hurts, Kea.” I groan, turning around to walk over to the bench. “I know I made a mistake but damn, it’s eating me alive.”

She racks up the balls for me before taking a seat next to me. I probably stink, all the sweat from my late night workout. But still Rickea wraps an arm around me, much different than any of the hugs we’ve had before. Like she doesn’t care about anything else but comforting me.

“You see where she’s coming from tho, right?” She asks me. “If Raye doesn’t wanna talk it’s prolly because she doesn’t wanna hurt you more. I know her well enough to know that mouth is reckless.” She jokes, and it brings a smile to my face because it’s true.

“So instead, she got me payin’ for my mistake by feeling the absence of her in my life.”

“Exactly!” Kea nods as if this is some astute observation. “Well, I dunno if that’s a good thing. But hold onto some hope, Five. She likes you. She doesn’t have to tell me that for me to see it.”

Surprisingly the words do soothe me a bit. If I’m feeling like shit over my own decision, I can only imagine how she’s feeling. With all the shit she got going on work wise, to have me pile more shit on top of it must be terrible.

“Just wait it out a little longer. I like you both together more than I like you apart, okay?” 

I nod, holding on to those words tight.

Even though I’m missing her. I just have to wait it out. Whenever she’s ready.

[thelov3lybookworm]

I Didn't Ask For This (part four)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary: Marriage had always been something sacred to little Y/n, something dream like, where her husband would come and whisk her away to a fairyland. At least, that's what she had always thought.

All her dreams would be shattered.

But maybe she can salvage them?

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: forced marriage, azzie being and asshole(obviously, he's been forced), suicidal thoughts, almost death, none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.

A/n: I promise it gets better. Future chapters are going to get happier.(that was a note to myself so I don't get carried away again)

•○🌑○•

Y/n blinked the sleep from her eyes as male voices reached her, jerking upright when she realised she was not in her bed. Where was she?

Then, as her eyes passed over the red walls around her and the expensive furniture, everything that happened the previous day came rushing back.

Her head swung around to try and find the source of the voices that she had heard, now quieted. She found the General and the High Lord standing right by the door, now staring at her.

As she registered the fact that she probably looked like a mess, she hurried to stand, nearly faceplanting in the process. Blood climbed up her neck and cheeks as she turned to look at the High Lord who had stepped forward.

"Good morning Y/n. Did you have a peaceful sleep?" He asked, his tone gentle. Though she hadn't, she nodded. His eyes were filled with understanding, and he sighed. "May I ask you a question?" When she gave a curt nod, he continued. "Why were you sleeping here? Cassian says he showed you to Azriel's room."

"I'm not–" She began, her voice raspy, before cleared her throat. "I'm not sure I can tell you that my Lord."

"Rhysand, please." He said. "It's okay, you can tell us anything. Did he kick you out?"

Her eyes darted around nervously. Maybe this could be some kind of test? Maybe Azriel was hiding in a corner of the room, looking for a reason to hate her more if she spoke bad about him out to his brothers.

When she didn't respond, the General spoke up. "There are guest rooms here. You didn't have to sleep on the couch. It would have been uncomfortable."

The door next to the General opened abruptly, then slammed back shut, making him jump. As if the house was trying to say that it tried to get her to a better place. A tiny smile bloomed on Y/n's lips.

The house was... adorable to say the least.

"The house tried to get me to go somewhere else, but I was tired and decided to stay here." A wind that sounded a lot like a huff passed through the room, making Y/n shake her head. "I hope that's okay."

"That is completely fine." The High Lord– Rhysand, she had to chide herself internally– grinned. "I've got a feeling you and the House are getting together well?" At that, Y/n smiled. A real one.

"You could say that."

The door creaked open then, the General's mate peeking in.

"Oh, I've been searching for you." She said, staring straight at Y/n. Stepping in, she pointed to the two males. "Get out."

"Why?" The General all but pouted.

"Becuase I say so."

He grumbled, but left with the High Lord. The female–Nesta, Y/n now remembered– came closer.

"I was going out with my friends today, and I was wondering if you would like to come along."

Y/n shook her head slowly. "I don't know them, and I wouldn't want to intrude–"

"You wouldn't be intruding. Plus, I'm pretty sure I can introduce you to them. And other than that, they would love to meet you. You can become a part of our group." She said, an undertone of excitement in her voice, which made Y/n falter, wondering if she should accept the offer.

Then, she sighed and nodded. Nesta let out a squeal of happiness and linked her arms with Y/n, pulling her away and into a guest bedroom, getting ready for the meeting.

•○🌑○•

Y/n settled on a simple white gown and a braid for her hair, despite Nesta's very weird preferences. Her bag had appeared in the room as soon as they entered, increasing the love she already felt for the house.

Now they were sitting in a cafe, waiting for the others to show up. From what she knew of the two females, they had tragic pasts. One of them hadn't stepped foot out of the House of Wind for two years, and she only started a few months back.

Soon, they arrived. It wasn't anything like she expected. She thought I would be uncomfortable and awkward, but they behaved as if Y/n was their childhood friend. As the evening progressed, they talked and laughed, returned to the house and settled in one of the smaller libraries, then talked about their pasts. Them telling her about their pasts without an ounce of hesitation prompted her into speaking of her childhood too, and they were horrified to say the least.

At one point, Emerie was even ready to go and murder Y/n's father, but settled down after a few moments, still fuming. It warmed Y/n immensely that someone she had barely known for a few hours would care so much for her.

She just prayed that her husband would stop being an asshole too.

•○🌑○•

It had been two weeks of absolute hell for Y/n. Because of him.

Whenever she walked into a room he was in, he would give a huge sigh of annoyance, glare at her and walk away. Whenever she tried to speak with him, he would yell at her, just like the first night. Everytime, she had to hold back tears.

She didn't understand it, this hatred. Did he not remember that she was forced into this as well? Or did he think she went to Hewn City purposefully trying to force him into a marriage? Or did he not want to accept the fact that no one was to fault in this situation? Did he just hate Y/n?

As she turned a corner, she was met with a sight that broke whatever hope she had, and probably answered all of her questions.

Standing there was Azriel, with a female pressed between him and the wall, and, he was kissing her, passionately.

Elain. The High Lady and Nesta's sister.

Y/n stood frozen for a moment before she stepped back and away from sight. She pressed herself against a wall, her breaths coming shorter and shorter. How could he? How–

She knew she didn't own him, but it hurt her all the same. They were married for Cauldrons sake! And even though their relationship was nonexistent at best, she never would do what he was doing.

That was when she noticed a shadow right in front of her face, bobbing up and down. All blood drained from Y/n's face when the shadow darted away, back to its master. There was nothing Y/n could do except run.

So she did, as fast as she could, towards her room. As she pressed herself against the door, footsteps sounded, coming closer to her room. Panic clawed at Y/n, her heart clenching when the person knocked.

She didn't answer, trying to quiet her breaths. But then a voice called her name, and she started to calm down.

Nesta.

Y/n opened the door and Nesta walked in as if she owned the place.

"I was searching for you and saw you running, so I wanted to check if everything's alright." She declared, but then she faltered, her features softening when she saw the state Y/n was in. "What happened?"

It all came pouring out of Y/n as she sat down in an armchair. Nesta was fuming, so Y/n added, "It's okay. He doesn't owe me anything."

A mischievous glint entered Nesta's eyes and she grinned. "If he doesn't owe you anything, you dont owe him anything."

"What do you mean?" Though Y/n had an inkling of what might be brewing in Nesta's mind, she still asked carefully.

"Oh you just wait darling."

•○🌑○•

"I–I can't wear this, Nesta." Y/n mumbled as she stared at herself in the mirror. Nesta had come to Mor, telling her of her mastermind plan, all while Y/n had stood in a corner face-palming. They had then informed her that everyone was going to a place called Rita's, which had been the main reason Nesta had been searching for her.

Now they had forced her into something that barely had the right to be called a rag, let alone a dress.

"You can and you will." She was adamant. But when Y/n refused to budge, Nesta handed her another dress. This one, thank the cauldron, could be called a dress, but for someone who didn't need to breathe. As she tried it on, she had to wonder why she was even here in the first place when she could be peacefully sleeping right now.

This dress was stretchy and fully black, like a second skin on Y/n with a high neck and long sleeves that both left everything to the imagination as well as nothing.

"Will this be alright?" Mor asked. When Y/n nodded, they both launched into what their plan was as Y/n blushed.

•○🌑○•

She wasn't really fond of this place, Y/n decided in the first few moments she was there. It was a little too loud for her. But she had a purpose, or rather, Mor and Nesta had a purpose.

When everyone, including Azriel had arrived at Rita's, the two females had pulled Y/n away to the bar, where they sat on high stools and sipped drinks. Mor and Nesta were having wine, and Y/n had some non alcoholic drink that Mor had ordered for her.

According to their plan, they were going to get Y/n a man, as Nesta put it. Someone who might want to have Y/n, because when Azriel and she had promised themselves to each other, there was no rule stating that they could have a relationship with someone else. And while Y/n didn't really like the idea, she had to distract herself with something.

Soon enough, a male slid into the stool next to her, giving her a wink and a smile. She panicked, turning to Nesta, who nodded enthusiastically. So Y/n gave him a small smile back as he started up a conversation. Nothing much, just where she was from and what her interests were. It all went smoothly, until it didn't.

The male glanced behind Y/n, going pale. She turned too, wanting to know what happened. And there he stood.

Her husband.

He looked... scary, for the lack of a better word in her mind.

"Who are you?" He asked the male in a deadly voice, completely ignoring Y/n.

"I could ask the same of you." The male said, though his voice trembled.

"But you won't, you already know who I am. So, run, little boy. Before my generosity ends." The male opened his mouth to argue, but Azriel continued. "That's my wife you're–"

Y/n stopped hearing anything he said then, a ringing in her ears. He had just called her his wife, when he would not even look at her when she tried to talk to him. She stared at him, wondering if he was serious. But then he turned to her.

"We're going home." And she wanted to slap him. He didn't give her a choice, taking her hand and winnowing away. The next moment they were standing in one of the sitting rooms in the House.

And then, he had the audacity to turn and walk away. Every other time when she had tried to speak with him and he had walked away, she had let him do that, but not now. Not when one moment he was calling her his wife and scaring away males who wanted to talk to her, and the next he pretended as if she didn't exist.

So she walked ahead of him and blocked his path. He stopped, but didn't look at her, increasing her fury. "Why would you do that?"

He didn't answer, starting forward again, trying to go around her. She pushed against his chest. He finally looked at her, his eyes cold. "Let me go, Y/n."

"Then tell me why you did that!"

A sigh escaped his lips. "Because it felt right at the time, but now I feel like that was a mistake. If I hadn't taken you away, then maybe you would have left me alone."

She gaped at him, at a loss for words as he again tried to walk away. When she didn't move, he turned towards a nearby balcony and took off. Her heart was breaking, and the agony was unbearable.

So she silenced everything around her, and, her resolve hardening, she walked towards a staircase nearby.

She just wanted some peace. And peace she would get.

•○🌑○•

The cool night air stung Y/n's cheeks, but she didn't feel it through the numbness in her body. She just wondered what the air would feel like when she sped through it towards the ground.

She was standing on the edge of a landing, one that didn't have a railing. These past weeks she'd had nothing to do except explore the house, and she had come across a secret stairway full of dust and spider webs which led to here. From the looks of it, no one knew about this place.

She took a deep breath and lifted a leg, suspending it in the air as she stared below her and imagined what would happen if she took a step forward. A smile bloomed on her lips. She could finally have her peace, and she won't be a burden for anyone any longer. Freedom lay just a few inches from her feet, all she had to do was let go of the restrains holding her in place.

Of course, she wasn't going to take that step. Not because she wanted to live or anything like that. No, she wouldn't take that step because she had come to care for the Inner Circle, mainly Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn. Maybe Mor too. So she wouldn't take that step.

But when did life ever go according to what she wanted? Was it even life when she didn't know what it felt like to be alive?

She started to take her feet back, to set it on the firmness of the floor below her. But then, it got caught against the rough stone. She lost her balance. And fell forward.

All thoughts fled her mind except the fact that she was falling too fast. Even though it might have given her some relief, she didn't want to die.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry.

But she did neither. If she was going to die, she would die with dignity. She would die with all the confidence she never had.

The ground was getting closer, the air tearing at her hair and cheeks and eyes. So she closed her eyes and waited for the pain. Or would it not hurt? Maybe she'd stop feeling the moment she touched the ground.

A loud flapping sound came from somewhere above her, and then suddenly Y/n's body was jerked in the other direction, all the air fleeing her lungs as she felt two solid bands of muscle and fire wrap around her. Despite not knowing who had become her saviour, she didn't care. She was just grateful for being saved.

But then she opened her eyes to find herself staring at Azriel, who pointedly ignored her. All the thoughts of why she had wanted to do this in the first place came back to her, and she pushed against his chest. He looked down to glare at her, flying faster.

He landed in the training area, but even though they they were both standing on stable ground, he didn't let go. When Y/n tried to push him away, he pulled her impossibly closer.

"Are you insane?" He murmured, his eyes churning like a storm. She didn't answer, still trying to untangle him from her. After a few moments, he let go. She stumbled back, trying to put as much space between them as she could, panting. "That was stupid. You can't throw your life away like that!"

His breathing mirrored hers as his voice echoed around them.

"What do you care about my life? And if you have somehow forgotten, you told me to do that yourself."

"I didn't!"

"Oh you most certainly did."

"When?" His eyes were so wide, Y/n wondered if his eyeballs would fall out.

"The first night."

"I didnt mean it!"

Y/n turned away, not having the energy to argue with him. But of course he was not one to be ignored. He caught her wrist and whipped her around, snarling.

"Didn't you want to talk? Talk. I'm ready to hear."

"Now you're ready to listen? Then answer my question first. Why do you hate me so much?" She didn't want to talk right now, still shaken from her encounter with near death, but she didn't know when he'd be ready to talk again. This could be her only chance, and she would take it.

"Bec–because you ruined my life."

"I ruined your life? Do you think I had any choice in the matter? I didn't ask for this, Azriel."

"I know you didn't, but–"

"But what Azriel? Do you think I didn't try to stop him from taking me to Hewn City that day? How do you think that went?" He was silent, staring at her, so she forged on, laughing. "You say I ruined your life, but atleast you had one. You lived. I didn't Azriel. Everyday I woke up hoping that you would come, and take me away to a better place, just like you told me you would. That was all you ever talked about when we were kids. That you would take me away when we grew up and always be my friend." He flinched at the venom in her voice. "I prayed you weren't dead. Because in that home, Azriel? I didn't live, I existed. My father wouldn't let me live. You left and had most of your life to enjoy, but do you know what I went through in that cauldron forsaken place?"

"You can't blame me for what your father did." There was no bite to his words and they sounded more like a question.

"Oh? And you can blame me for what our fathers did?" He stayed quiet. She continued laughing, tears now streaming down her face. "The suffering I went through everyday was not enough for my father. Almost everyday, he'd taunt and tell at me that I was burden and if you didn't come back, he'd kill me. I had to keep looking over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't going to fulfil that promise."

"You could have left..."

Y/n raised a brow, an incredulous smile on her face. "Do you even want me to answer that?" All the energy that had been in her drained, the venom in her voice now gone. She turned away. "When you don't know what someone's life has been like, don't speak about it like you do." She paused, then asked one last question. "Why did you... bring me back from Rita's?"

"Because you're my wife and you're supposed to be mine..." He sounded so guilty and sad that for a moment Y/n pitied him. He probably loved Elain, and he was now stuck with Y/n.

She turned halfway, looking at him. "If I'm yours, are you supposed to be mine? Because when I saw you and Elain today, it didn't seem like it."

The blood drained from his face as he stared at her. Her brows furrowed. Had the shadow not told him about her presence? She glanced at them where they churned restlessly around him. Feeling something cool caressing her wrist, she glanced down. It was a shadow, slithering against her skin. A corner of her lips lifted as the shadow darted back to its master. She turned away again.

She left him there, planning on going to sleep.

Hoping to never wake up.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @maxxieluvs @bubbbllee @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @waytoomanyteenagefeels @tell-me-a-poem @the-lake-is-calling @spaxxxi @japanese-wonderland-blog @valeridarkness @moonlwghts @deadratio @esposadomd @harrystylesfan2686 @missusbarnes-rogers @whatthefuckshappeningrn @hyacinthoideshispanica @historygeekqueen @lizziesfirstwife @nastynesta @aroseinvelaris @nightless @cleverzonkwombatsludge @kodokunarisu-blog @selillusion @eos-princess @moonfawnx @a-court-of-milkandhoney @emilyo-218 @wannabewolf @ailyr92 @chronically-online-cheese @myheartfollower @hells-sluttiest-new-arrival @marina468 @menaosama @starryhiraeth @hereticdance @mali22 @valencia-rou @azrielsstarlight @marvelouslovely-barnes

Part 5

[stars4noah]

HALLEY'S COMET- three.

{WARNINGS}: swearing, drinking, allusions to depression, reader and noah making up yayyyy 🥳🥳

w.c- 2,898

a.n- if you guys couldn't tell by now, this story has kinda turned from being inspired by only halley's comet to being inspired by the entire album! go listen to happier than ever by billie eilish. the album. not the song.

enjoy! <3

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob

if you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment!

i haven't slept since sunday. midnight for me is three a.m. for you.

three more weeks passed since everything happened. the next day, noah tried to come back. i told him to stay away. forever. i promised him that i would be just fine without him, that i didn't need him to prove to me that he was something he didn't want to be. because i was so convinced he didn't want to be better. he just wanted his photographer back.

i started working at a local coffee shop, the spark in my eyes that was once consistent now gone. i didn't have that kind voice that everyone grew to love. i didn't put any effort into my appearance. i just threw my hair into a ponytail and moved on.

a lot of the time, i was glad i lived alone. i could fall back into old habits without being scolded. like drinking, for example. it was the only way i knew how to handle my feelings. which wasn't working very well.

but you're all it takes for me to break a promise.

i knew the next time i saw his face i would break. i would run back. i would stay. spending years with somebody who you're secretly in love with will do that to a person. so i made it my goal to purposefully ignore him.

every time i would go home, i would scroll mindlessly on my phone. i found out that noah canceled the rest of the tour. mental health reasons, or whatever. i rolled my eyes, turning off my phone and cracking open yet another bottle of liquor, feeling the familiar burn go down my throat that i've grown accustomed to. i walked around my apartment mindlessly, humming some unfamiliar tune to myself.

these past few weeks, music has been my number one savior. aside from alcohol.

NOAH'S POV.

these weeks without her proved to be difficult. having fallen into a depression after alyssa and i broke up, [y/n] leaving only made it worse. i sat in my room, staring at the door. sometimes i would pray that she would walk through. surprise me and say it was all just a cruel prank.

countless bottles of hennessy sat in front of my bed. that was all i had been doing. drinking and working out and writing to ease away the pain.

"but nevertheless, i'm fucking depressed. i hide it with sex, and drink till it's fatal." i murmured to myself, taking another sip from the bottle before letting it clatter to the ground, snatching my pen and paper from my desk.

when i went through things like this, i always liked to write down my thoughts. some of those thoughts ended up in songs. and since we were in the middle of writing a new album, this was perfect.

there was a knock at the door and i grumbled a greeting, my eyes never leaving the paper. a couple seconds later, jolly walked in.

"christ, man, you look like hell."

i hummed, continuing to write as he sat in front of me.

"look, i know you're struggling. because of-"

i knew exactly who he was talking about. i didn't want to hear her name. she hurt me enough. "don't say her name."

jolly sighed. "because of her. but dude, we're worried. you know none of it was your fault, right? she was stupid to do that to you."

i scoffed. "she said it herself, jolly. 'he's richer, hotter, and bigger'" i scowled, repeating her words that she had said to me that night. some part of me regretted walking out of that door. i loved her. for years. and i had grown used to loving her. she was all that i had. she was what made me what i am. she was right, really. i would be nothing without her.

"you're doing it again." he said. at this point, i had stopped writing, staring off into space. "doing what?"

"that thing you do when you get all into your head. blaming yourself for everything. how many times do i have to tell you it's not your fault for you to get it in your head, man?" he said, sternly but gently.

i rolled my eyes. "you're wrong."

"how?"

"because i loved her, jolly. i fucking loved her, and i screwed it all up because i can never do anything right. i'll never be good enough. for myself, or anybody."

i buried my face in my hands, sobs racking my body once more. i never liked to be this vulnerable with anybody, even my closest friends. but honestly? i didn't give a fuck anymore. let them see.

"i know man. i know." he said, rubbing his hand over my back in an attempt to sooth me.

it pained jolly to see me like this. i knew that. but it was better to tell people of my thoughts than to keep it bottled up inside, right?

READERS POV.

i was making that damn song all the way till the early morning. i didn't even realize how late it had gotten until i woke up to my alarm. i had fallen asleep at my desk, my computer still running and everything. i didn't have work today, so that left me plenty of time to do whatever the hell i wanted.

months passed. months without seeing or talking to him. i would occasionally text the others, but i wouldn't dare send him a single text. i caught up a bit with folio and jolly, telling them about my ongoing journey with music. i still pursued photography as a side hustle, but my main focus was getting this song perfect.

it was almost done. almost ready to be released. maybe as an album? no, i can't get too carried away. music isn't for me. but as i listened to the song and made sure everything was right, my feelings began to change.

"i don't want it, and i don't want to want you. but in my dreams, i seem to be more honest. and i must admit, you've been in quite a few."

it wasn't a lie. he had began to show up more often in my dreams. not as nightmares, but as something that we could've been.

"Halley's Comet comes around more than i do. but you're all it takes for me to break a promise. silly me to fall in love with you."

that promise. that stupid promise.

"[y/n], please. let me explain-"

"no, noah! i don't care about your shitty explanations and your shitty behavior and your stupid face! i promise, i'll be just fine without you. leave me alone!"

"i haven't slept since sunday. mdnight for me is 3:00 a.m. for you. but my sleepless nights are better with you than nights could ever be alone, ooh-ooh-ooh. i was good at feeling nothing, now i'm hopeless. what a drag to love you like i do, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh."

it wasn't entirely a lie. when i imagined him in the bed next to me, it felt like i could sleep better. when i pretended everything was okay, everything felt lighter. the weight on my shoulders seemed to momentarily disappear, only to crash back down when i realized it was all just a fantasy.

"ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh. i've been loved before, but right now in this moment i feel more and more like i was made for you. for you. i'm sitting in my brother's room. haven't slept in a week or two, or two. i think i might have fallen in love. what am i to do?"

as the song ended, i found myself picking up my phone, going to his contact. i laughed softly to myself as i saw the contact. it was still the same. when everything was nice. when i wasn't all alone. i decided to jump the gun, shooting him a text.

i breathed out a sigh of relief. maybe he didn't hate me as much as i thought. i immediately thought back to the time i took it. when things were better. happier.

"come on! put it on!" i laughed, holding out the little plastic tiara to him. we had gone to disney world for a summer vacation, and i won a tiara from one of the game booths.

"i'm not putting that on." he said, his arms folded across his chest.

i pouted, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes i knew he couldn't resist until he groaned, snatching the tiara from my hands and putting it on his head. despite his previously grumpy demeanor, he still wore a smile when i took the pictures.

i missed that.

the moment i saw him walk through those doors, it was like everything hit me all at once. he looked terrible. i did too, but definitely better in comparison.

"hi." i said softly.

"hi." he said back, sitting down in front of me with his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

i bit my lip as we sat in an awkward silence for a moment before i spoke.

"noah, i-"

"[y/n]-"

i couldn't help but smile softly as we spoke at the same time.

"you first." he said.

i took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself. "i know you've been through a lot, noah. and i should've taken that into consideration when i said all that shit. honestly, i haven't been doing too well myself, if you couldn't tell." i said, gesturing to myself.

"it sounds stupid as fuck, but it feels like theres this void in my chest that's just been so empty since i left. i miss you guys. i miss the band." i said.

he sensed there was something more. "but...?"

"but," i began. "i can't come back as the photographer. after i've recovered somewhat from everything, i realized photography isn't for me. i was to pursue something bigger."

"like?"

"music."

he raised his eyebrows. "you want to become a musician?"

"i know, it sounds absurd and like a child's dream, but i really think-"

"no, [y/n] that's fucking amazing." he said with a small laugh, leaning forward. i smiled slightly. there was that smile i missed.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i mean, i've only heard you sing a handful of times, but you're great. you're gonna make it big, trust me." he said.

my heart warmed at his words. "thank you." i said.

"look, [y/n], i'll be the first to admit how much of a douche i was to you. i've had time to think about it. to get over it and stop wallowing in self-pity. and i'm really sorry. i'm kinda shocked you didn't quit sooner, honestly. but, if you'd like, we could start fresh. you don't have to come back to the band, but we can hang out and shit. maybe i can help you with your music."

his words only made my smile brighten. "yeah, i'd like that. a lot. thank you."

"of course, princess."

after our little friend date, we went to his studio to work on some things. he showed me how different things worked and helped me on writing a song that i had been thinking about.

i bit my lip, jotting down a few lyrics in my notebook as he watched.

i don't really wanna know why you went there. i kinda don't care. you want to kill me? you want to hurt me? stop being flirty. it's kinda working.

i hummed a soft tune to myself as i read the lyrics, trying to figure out what would work right.

did you really think this is the right thing to do? is it news? news to who? that i really looked just like the rest of you.

noah snapped me out of my continuous thoughts, turning back to the computer. "i've been working on stuff, too." he said.

"yeah?"

he hummed in response, pulling up a file full of different songs. "pick one." he said, leaning back.

i bit my lip in thought before clicking on the one titled The Grey.

"evened the scores, then i let it all go fall apart. and every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. looking sideways when i say i'm okay with the past. but i'm afraid of what i might say if you ask."

i leaned back in my chair as i listened to the lyrics, knowing that this song could be about one of two people. me, or alyssa.

"gave you way too many chances, you ran through them all. got everything i could want but it wasn't enough. nobody left for me to talk to, nobody to call. got everything i could want but i still wanted more. yeah, i still wanted more."

the pure emotion in his voice was enough to make my heart break into pieces and clarify who it was about. i knew after what happened with her, he was broken. and this song was only proof.

"there's not another way, don't let me go. don't dig another grave today. i'll make the same mistakes, i'll never know who i was before i faded away into the grey."

the recording stopped, and my eyes darted from the screen to his face. "that's all i have right now." he said. "we have more sessions later this week to finish it."

i gulped. "noah..."

he looked at me and raised a brow. "what?"

"that was fucking beautiful."

i almost felt like i was going to cry. i always loved his voice, but that was on a whole other level. usually he was screaming. he never had those soft vocals like what i just heard.

he smiled softly. "thanks. now get in there."

i blinked, shaking my head. "sorry, what?"

"go on. get in the booth. i want to hear you sing this. we can figure something out."

"noah, i-" "don't argue. go."

i sighed, getting up and heading into the recording booth. maybe it would be okay. i wouldn't fuck it up. i put on the headphones, looking back up at him through the glass. "which one?" i asked.

he hummed, looking through the notebook i had left on the desk.

"what about my future? start it off strong."

i nodded, mentally preparing myself for whatever the hell was about to happen.

"i can't seem to focus, and you don't seem to notice i'm not here. i'm just a mirror. you check your complexion to find your reflection's all alone. i had to go. can't you hear me? i'm not coming home. do you understand? i've changed my plans. cause i, i'm in love with my future. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody else. just wanna get to know myself."

it really was a beautiful song. and it was me putting all of my feelings on the line. the lyrics didn't have a deeper meaning to them like noah's often did. their meaning was just laid flat out. i changed my plans for the future, and i'm waiting to sort things out with myself before falling in love again.

"i know supposedly i'm lonely now. know i'm supposed to be unhappy without someone. but aren't i someone? i'd like to be your answer. cause you're so handsome. but i know better than to drive you home. cause you'd invite me in, and i'd be yours again."

the lyrics seemed to flow freely as i sang, my eyes closed and hands moving in random directions. i didn't even notice him staring.

"but i, i'm in love. with my future. and you don't know her, mm. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody here. i'll see you in a couple years."

i opened my eyes and looked at noah, noticing how his mouth was slightly open. i laughed. "don't start drooling."

he shook himself out of his thoughts. "sorry, that was just. really fucking good. you're a natural, princess. i'm jealous." he said.

i rolled my eyes, stepping out of the booth.

"great, now let's work out a tune."

we spent hours and hours fixing up the song, getting carried away in our musical abilities. last time i checked, it was around 2 am. i didn't want to go home, so i suggested we took a little break and watched a movie or something. he nodded and we sat on the couch, turning on the tv (of course he turned on naruto). my head ended up lulling to the side, landing on his shoulder as i slowly fell asleep. the last thing my brain registered before falling into dreamland was the soft kiss on my forehead and his soft words.

"goodnight, princess."

his lips against mine felt like heaven. it felt like my whole life was complete when i kissed him, when i felt him. he felt like home. something i hadn't known in a long time. i pulled away, breathing slightly heavy as i looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"noah.." i whispered.

he smiled softly and hummed.

"i fucking love you."

"mm.. [y/n]." he mumbled against my lips.

"princess."

"[Y/N]!"

[shinestarhwaa]

16,25,32,69-yunsanhwa please? thxx.!

I got a little too excited with this one HAHA I'm sorry, I hope you enjoy it cuz I rly did xo

WHAT HAPPENS IN LONDON || YUNSANHWA

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Ateez!Yunho/San/Seonghwa x manager!reader

Word Count: 3k

Tags/warnings: Idol!AU, Dom!Yunho, Dom!San, Sub!Seonghwa, Sub!reader, Foursome, Dirty Talk, M x M (only SanHwa), bottom!Seonghwa, top!San, oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex, vaginal sex, anal sex (m receiving), lots of orgasms, handjob, Seonghwa is a wee bit pervy, voyeurism

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @glintneon123 @mjyungi

ENJOY!

It had been a fun evening so far, walking around the city with the three boys. They treated you on a meal and you showed them various locations and even took videos of their silly Tiktok ideas.

They were lovely really, very different from the artists you had worked with before. You've had two managing jobs before but they didn't last long because of various reasons, but you got hired by KQ for Ateez and you couldn't be happier.

It paid well and they treated you nicely. They always made you laugh and made sure you were comfortable while you're the one who should take care of them instead. Somewhere in your heart you felt like they truly cared for you and you really felt like you didn't deserve them.

After safely getting them back to their hotel, San invited you and the other two boys into his room for a nightcap. After some begging and pleading you finally agreed and entered his room.

As Seonghwa and Yunho had already sat down on the chairs you stood a little awkwardly beside San's bed, drink in your hand. "Just sit, manager-nim," San pouted, pulling your sweater. You couldn't help but smile at the boy and you nodded, sitting down next to him.

The conversation carried on normally until Yunho decided to ask you more personal questions. "So, you're not involved with anyone, manager-nim?" He asked. You shook your head and laughed a bit sheepish. "No, it has been a while, I'm too busy with you idiots," you answered with a grin.

"Oh, really? Well then I'm sorry," Yunho apologized, "we should make up for that in some way right?"

You locked eyes with Yunho as your mouth went dry. What did he mean by that? "I mean, it is only fair," he carried on, "you're taking good care of us as our manager, Y/N, but who's gonna take care of you?"

The way his name fell off your lips made you feel all tingly, a feeling you tried to ignore and block out, but it was impossible because his deep voice send shivers and all kinds of signals directly down to your core.

"I-I...," you stammered, "I can take perfectly good care of myself, I have my own apartment and I don't have debts-." "I believe that isn't what Yunho meant," Seonghwa chimed in. His stare was a little more intense than you were used to from him, his soft and shiny boba eyes gone.

"You know what we mean," San suddenly hushed by your ear, "who's there to please you? I bet we can do it better than you and your little toys could." "T-toys?" You gasped. "We know what's in that red bag of yours, remember the day you slept in our hotelroom last month?" San asked, reminiscing the night where you lost your keys so you crashed on their couch.

"You looked in my bag?" You asked, nervously. "Well, it was open for everyone to see so, yes, I saw what was in there," San confessed. "But believe me, my cock is bigger than that, I could please you so much better than that thing... I bet all three of us could."

You swallowed thickly and crossed your legs. "I-I don't know San, this all seems quite unprofessional," you muttered. "It's just one night, Y/N, and besides that, no one has to know about it," Yunho said. You hesitated, looking at the gorgeous men in front of you.

It was too good to be true right? Three hot and famous men wanting to have sex with you in a beautiful hotelroom on the other side of the world? But how could you say no if they looked at you like this?

"How... would that work?" You asked carefully, earning a few glances and smirks from the boys. "Well you know how sex works right? You can't be a virgin," San grinned. "No, no I know... I'm not a virgin," you said, blushing, "it's just... how would it work with the four of us...? You'd all be naked in front of each other, is that not a problem for you?"

San smirked and let his hand glide over your thigh. "I'm kinda excited about it, actually," he confessed. "Always have been curious about seeing their cocks hard and leaking...," he went on, "and Seonghwa hyungies hole."

Seonghwa blushed and his eyes went wide as he tried to hide his growing boner with his sweater. "Wh-whatt?" He giggled as he looked away, unable to face him. "You heard me." What did he say?

"I don't care what you guys want, all I know is that right know I'm gonna rip off those stupid tight clothes and I'm gonna ravish your naked body," Yunho grunted. "Hm, we'll share," San said.

San kissed your lips and you immediately melted in his embrace. You had always wondered what his arms felt like, his big strong arms that drove every woman on the planet absolutely insane and they felt great.

San kept kissing you as Yunho got on his knees in front of you, pulling down your skirt and spreading your legs a little, seeing the wet patch on your underwear. "Ooh, did we get you wet, Y/N?" Yunho smirked. You broke off the kiss with San, already missing his soft lips as you nodded and slipped your panties off. Yunho nearly growled at the sight of your bare pussy in front of him, running his hands over your soft thighs.

San undid your blouse and bra in a few simple motions, leaving you completely naked. You felt so exposed, looking at the three completely clothed boys and they caught up on it quickly. One by one they started to undress, leaving just their underwear on.

Yunho got between your legs again and licked a stripe up from the bottom of your cunt all the way to your clit, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. "O-Oh, Yunie," you panted out, making Yunho grin as he heard the nickname you always gave him roll from your tongue in the form of a moan.

"Yunie, Yunie, Yunie!" You moaned as he fucked you with his tongue and occasionally sucked on your clit. "Stay quiet dear, they'll be able to hear us," San smirked as he kissed your neck and fondled your breasts. You saw Seonghwa in the corner of the room, clearly nervous but palming his crotch as he watched Yunho eat your pussy.

"A-Are you not joining in, Seonghwa?" You asked him, as you were kind of hoping he would come closer and pleasure you. He was a little shy, but he nodded and came closer, sitting on your left side. "If we're gonna do this I want all three of you," you said in a husky tone as you kissed his neck and latched your tongue on his sensitive skin.

His brows furrowed and he swallowed thickly, clearly getting harder from your actions. Your hand reached Yunho's dark hair and pulled it slightly. He looked up at you from between your legs and moaned against your pussy as he kept eating you out.

"So when did you start thinking about fucking me?" You panted out as you grinded your sex on Yunho's tongue. "Hmm, for months now," he moaned against your cunt. You moaned out his name again, a little louder this time.

"You want them all to hear, don't you? You want everyone to hear how good Yunie's making you feel?" San smirked. You couldn't even form a proper sentence because Yunho was currently bringing you to fucking paradise on that skilled tongue. Your moans grew louder as your orgasm washed over you, body trembling in San's embrace.

"Fuck, that's so hot," Seonghwa breathed out as he watched Yunho ride out your orgasm, licking your pussy clean. "Yeah? You want in too, hyung?" San smirked. Seonghwa bit his lip and nodded. He really seemed to be a bit more submissive towards the other boys, wondering what he would be like to you.

"Kiss first then," San stated, pulling Seonghwa closer by his neck and crashing their lips together. Fuck. You were squished between them as they made out, your pussy clenching around nothing as you got needier and needier.

Suddenly you felt two of San's thick fingers in your cunt, pushing in and out of you, making you moan out. Seonghwa reached for your pussy too, rubbing your clit with his middlefinger as San kept fucking you with his fingers. You cried out and clenched around their fingers, the pleasure being so good. ''O-Oh my fucking God,'' you moaned out as Seonghwa picked up the pace. This way you could never last long.

Before you knew it you came again, arousal seeping out of you and coating San's fingers. The boys pulled their hands away and ended the kiss and San held his fingers in front of Seonghwa's mouth, ordering him to lick them off. Seonghwa sucked San's fingers clean while looking at him so intensely as you pulled San's underwear down.

San's dick was rather girthy and thick and it nearly made you drool. Wow, fuck. You got on your knees in front of him and Seonghwa followed your lead. ''I think our hyung is a little needy for cock, don't you think?'' Yunho grinned as he sat on one of the chairs, stroking his erection through his underwear. ''Are you needy for cock, Seonghwa hyung?'' San asked, raising his right eyebrow.

Seonghwa's cheeks and ears were red, so embarrassed but God, it was so cute. ''Can I?'' Seonghwa asked with a small voice. ''Hm... What about Y/N then?'' San asked. Seonghwa thought for a few seconds until Yunho showed up naked and sat next to San. ''She can suck my cock first.''

You swallowed thickly as you saw his big cock sitting between his legs. ''Wow,'' you breathed out, ''where the fuck do you hide this thing?'' Yunho laughed and leaned back a little. ''If you suck it well enough I'll let you ride it.'' You nodded and quickly got to work.

Yunho's muscles tensed when he felt your hot, wet mouth swallow his cock. Your head bobbed up and down as you used your hands on the part you couldn't fit in your mouth. The idol threw back his head and moaned out as he watched your 'innocent' eyes look up at him.

Suddenly you heard groaning beside you as well, making you let go of Yunho's cock with a pop and watch the two men in awe. Seonghwa was sucking San's dick as if it were the sexiest porno in existance, it looked and sounded so incredibly sinful.

The slurping sounds and the moans Seonghwa let out as he gagged on San's cock made your pussy throb. San was moaning and thrusting his hips upwards, fucking his hyung's throat. You gasped as Yunho grabbed your by your hair and forced you back down on his cock. You moaned and gagged around his member as he made you choke on it, fucking your mouth just the way San was doing to Seonghwa.

Yunho and San gave each other a glance, smirking as they were abusing your throat's for their pleasure. ''Fuck, that's so good, such a good girl,'' Yunho moaned as he felt his release coming closer. ''Are you gonna cum Yunie?'' San smirked. ''Fuck yeah, gonna paint her throat all white, ah!'' he moaned out as he came deep in your throat, forcing you to swallow his seeds. You let go of his cock with a pop and you panted out.

Seonghwa was still working on San's cock, drool all over his chin and down the base of San's shaft. ''I'm gonna cum in your mouth now and you're gonna fucking take my load,'' San grunted, ''you're gonna fucking take it, okay baby?'' Seonghwa moaned around his cock before swallowing the big load that San released with a loud moan. Seonghwa panted heavily when he got off his wet cock, tears in his eyes. ''That's a good boy,'' San said as he caressed Seonghwa's hair.

''Fuck, this is the hottest thing I've ever experienced,'' you breathed out as you got on Yunho's lap, hands over his toned chest. You pushed him down to lay flat on the bed as you mounted his cock, letting it sink all the way in. You let out a long moan as you felt him stretch you out.

''I-I want all of you, please, all of you at once,'' you whimpered as you bounced lightly on Yunho's length. ''Oh? You want all of us at once? What a naughty little girl,'' Yunho smirked, ''well you heard her boys.'' ''Hm, you're one to like having all her holes filled don't ya?'' San smirked. ''You're not fucking my ass San, do you understand? You're not fucking my ass'' you said, rolling your eyes, knowing about his ass-obsession. San laughed and nodded as he got behind you. ''I promise I won't fuck your ass, only Hwa's.''

San slid his rigid cock right next to Yunho's, deep into your pussy. ''Oh-Oh my God!'' You cried out. ''What about me?'' a now naked Seonghwa asked with his boba eyes. God, those eyes. ''Kiss me,'' you whimpered, pulling him close by his hip. Seonghwa got closer and passionately kissed you on the mouth, driving you inside with his soft lips.

Yunho and San slowly started moving inside you, making you moan into Seonghwa's mouth. You took his long cock in your hand, pumping it up and down slowly, trying to match Yunho and San's pace. Seonghwa moaned along with you and bucked his hips up.

''I had no idea Seonghwa hyung was this filthy,'' Yunho smirked as he rolled his hips up into you. San and Yunho were moving faster, fucking you harder and it felt so good that you could barely keep on kissing Seonghwa. You kept moaning and moaning, eventually breaking the kiss and resting your head against his shoulder. You kept pumping his cock rapidly, earning the most beautiful moans from the boy.

''O-Oh my, you're driving me insane,'' he moaned out. ''Hmm... I always knew he was filthy, I still live with him,'' San smirked before continuing, ''He's always fucking touching himself, fucking himself, listening to us when we're jerking off, he's a little pervert,'' San smirked. Seonghwa could only nodd, whine and moan at San's words,

''I-I'm sorry, I don't wanna be a pervert,'' he cried out, ''I-I just couldn't help it!'' ''It's okay babyboy, it's okay,'' San cooed, ''I'm gonna take care of you after this.''

San's hips thrusted quickly into you, his balls softly clashing against your ass. ''Fuck, you are so good for us,'' Yunho moaned. ''Y-Yes, so good for you, so good for you, I'll fucking let you ruin me whenever you guys want I promise y-you can use my pussy,'' you moaned out. ''Oh? You want us to use your pussy as a good little fucktoy when we're on the road? Well I cannot say no to that.''

''Yes, please, please, please!'' You begged them as you kept working your hand on Seonghwa's cock. He bucked his hips up in the air and started fucking your fist, cumming all over it with a loud moan before he could even announce it.

''What a filthy boy,'' San said, smirking as he pounded into you, repeatedly hitting your g-spot. You let go of Seonghwa's cock as you felt forward onto Yunho's chest, moaning out from the friction you got on your clit. ''Oh look at you, you're close aren't you?'' Yunho said, smirking. ''Y-Yes, Yunie, yes! G-Gonna cum so hard,'' you moaned loudly. San and Yunho thrusted a few more times before they send you over the edge, making you scream out in pleasure.

Only seconds later Yunho came as well, spilling inside you with a loud moan. He pulled out of you and so did San, seeing him watch the three of you by himself. San laid Seonghwa down and smirked at the innocent-looking boy. ''Shall I fill you up now, huh?

''Y-Yes, please, please I've been wanting you for so long,'' he cried out. You and Yunho felt quite fucked out so you laid in his arms as you watched San lube up his dick and slide it into Seonghwa's puckering hole.

''I'm gonna fucking make you scream, hyung,'' he panted out as he let the older one adjust to his size. ''Please, have no mercy on me, I can take it.'' ''I know you can, I've seen that dildo underneath your bed,'' San smirked. Seonghwa's eyes grew wide as San moved inside him, starting off with a rough and fast pace.

He already earned so many sinful, slutty moans from him, making you think that Seonghwa went in the wrong entertainment business cause damn he was sexier and hotter than any pornstar you've ever seen.

''Yeah, you like that baby?'' he smirked as he plunged deeper inside him. San grabbed Seonghwa's cock and jerked it off as he kept fucking him, turning him into a moaning mess. ''I-I'm not gonna last long like this!'' Seonghwa moaned out, ''Your cock is too good, too fucking good!''

San smirked and absolutely went nuts inside him, ramming his cock deep inside him and letting out the most animalistic groans. ''Fuck me, fuck me hard, give me your cum, please!'' Seonghwa begged. With a few more jerks of his hips San released inside Seonghwa, moaning out his name.

Seonghwa moaned louder as he felt his orgasm approach, clenching down on San's cock, milking him dry. San's dom facade slowly broke down as his pleasure took over and watched Seonghwa unravel beneath him, spilling all over his hand and abs.

After getting cleaned up you wished the boys good night before getting back to your own hotelroom, rethinking the shenanigans of earlier and you couldn't help but smile. This was definitely not gonna be the last time this was happening.

What happens in London, doesn't stay back in London. It's comin' back home, you thought.

[goddess-sceptre]

Hi I'm the cuck :) So recently I've been rubbing myself and thinking about this kind of scenario in which a TERFy GF, maybe not exactly transphobic or anything, maybe she's just a bit gatekeep-ey with who's the real trans person and who's not. That's why she puts me into my rightful place of being a cute girlfriend for her and we kind of live happily for a while, before we meet you, an awesome, smart, cool and very kind woman! We become friends before one day I realize that my money is tight and because my GF wants to be with me, we move in together like a happy friend group! You tell me how much better I look now that I'm a cuntgirl proper, even as my body changes with testosterone, I giggle and thank you for being an amazing friend! You will maybe tell me how to do my makeup, because I've always been bad at it. But, my GF trusts you a bit too much, more than she ever trusted a trans girl... Like, maybe, she would say that my sloppy virgin skills are so bad and that I accidentally edge her pretty pussy. Or that my own cunt drools too much that scissoring is hard. Or tell you about my pesky vaginismus problem that makes my cunt not even take fingers sometimes. Or maybe how when even my pussy does take her strap, which she has to pick a smaller one so that I don't clench, that my face twists in terror and my cunt goes dry when she says she gets me pregnant, because I'm a nasty little bitch who hates breeding! How cruel am I, you tell her! How could I be so girly and pretty and yet not get some crummy condition that doesn't let her use a fakeboy pussy! You say that it makes me kind of useless at being a freeuse dyke slut, and she agrees reluctantly. You phrase it a bit gentler, and she nods. You are very sympathetic and understanding, that's right, just before you grab her one day and when she's all sprawled on a couch on one sunny day, you just take her. I'm in another room rubbing the Tgel that makes me no less of a girl, just more of a wetter cunt, on my needy pussy and puffy clit. And I accidentally walk in, terrified, crying about my precious mistress being broken right in front of my eyes! I'm so destroyed I start crying out of my sloppy pussy with my girl juices, and to comfort my neglected cunt I rub myself. Maybe you'd wave at me with the same friendly manner, but it feels like you're looking through me. I watch a girl that broke me in and made me a slutty fakeboytoy get plowed, and I think I can't get happier and hornier. I just love and hate and feel so hurt watching you two guys so much I think I'll never have normal sex, I will only sit on a cuck chair for broken cuntboytoys, forced to always shriek and whimper and sniffle, with my hands on my pussy. Maybe out of the goodness of your kind heart you would send me on missions to get two dating profiles, one to get other meaner TERFs, and another one to promise a fakeboy we're gonna do "T4T gay stuff" together. You'd walk in on the current cuntgirl that's scissoring me before you drag the easy girlie and let her take in your girl cock. As always, I obediently sit on my slippery wet chair like a good girl, because you, my awesome mentor and friend, are superior!

Awwww, what a cute little fantasy from a cute girl! It's a pity that you'd struggle so much to be useful, though... Even after all the effort she went through of showing you that you're really just a dyke toy for her.

Not only will you only ever get to watch from the corner, every time will be the same as that first one, where you walk in on us. There's no reason to inform you that we're doing anything, you'll just have to keep an ear out for her moaning. The woman that taught you that you're just a cuntgirl, broken by a superior woman's cock ♡

[ladyniniane]

Happy birthday to me!

I'm turning 28 today🍁🎉🎂! It's time to celebrate what I have accomplished so far.

Last year, I was in an uncertain situation because I had just decided to leave my job. For those who don't know, the whole ambiance had become pretty toxic (especially with my manager), the organization was a mess and there was no hope of getting a raise after three years there. It was taking a real toll on my well-being.

In retrospect, I'm glad I did it because I chose the best for myself. I saw that I deserved better.

Many things happened this year, some good, some bad, some chaotic. But I've accomplished quite a lot! I've decided to go freelance instead of waiting for someone to hire me. I want to decide how I work, with who and especially where (I'm thinking about living in Corsica in the future).

For that, I completed a whole training course and did things I have never done before...It made me confident in my abilities. I'm going to be completely honest: launching my own business is a little scary, especially as the D day comes closer and my anxiety is like "but what if? What if? What iiiiif?", but working on my project was nonetheless pretty satisfying.

I'm not worried about getting closer to 30. I'm still feeling pretty young (and I mean, I am). And I think like I'm finally figuring things out (because yeah, you generally don't have your life in order by 25). I wouldn't trade the life experience and the lessons I've learned for nothing else in the world. In fact, I'm quite curious about the person I will be when I will turn 30. I know social pressure is real for some people, but the sooner you get rid of those standards, the happier you will be.

Things I've learned this year:

-Enjoy the little nothings and find beauty in the mundane. This will make your life more magical.

-Try new things even if afraid. Time will pass anyway.

-It's okay to quit! In fact, it's even better with toxic situations. Distancing yourself from something that harms you is good actually.

-It's important to focus on your emotions. Bad emotions are here for a reason. Focus on what they tell you and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking you're the problem.

-You are enough. You don't have to feel ashamed of everything. You aren't too much, you aren't embarrassing.

-Touch grass as much as possible.

My cat turned 10 (she has seen so many important steps of my life) last month and she's happy and healthy.

Writing-wise, things are going fine. I finished my big fanfic and I've started a novel! And I now need the escapism it provides more than ever.

A big thank you to all of you, people of Tumblr! I'm glad I met you and you make things better☀️!

So, 28, let's see what you have in store for me !

[theunaestheticstudyblr]

Want to know a weird indulgent habit that I do that has significantly improved my grades, mental health, and work performance?

I started getting up earlier and having slow mornings. I get up, make my bed, brush my teeth, get ready for the day, and then I'm left with about an hour all for myself with no stress or worries. I can sit and have my coffee with sweetened condensed milk while my ferret runs around and I can read while listening to my fishtank. I can go to a coffee shop if I please or catch up on chores. Get an episode of a show in. Water my plants. Whatever I want to do. This hour or so is mine. It let's me just relax and exist in between the hustle and bustle of everything.

I usually do yoga and meditate and then make some coffee and just chill. Yall have no clue how amazing this small change has been for me. I feel better and tend to actually eat in the mornings (I am one of those who can't eat when busy or stressed), I look forward to my mornings, I've gotten better at going to bed at a reasonable hour, and I'm just happier overall.

This has also made my grades go up, as I usually wind up leaving a bit earlier than I need to and so I sit on campus and study before my classes. Feeling better also makes the classes more enjoyable, as I'm not a walking heap of misery and dread anymore.

It takes discipline and getting used to and I do have an advantage because I am a morning person and have always gotten up early, but it's just nice to have a little me time after getting ready and before having to actually do anything.

Tl;dr: give yourself an hour between getting ready and actually leaving to have a slow time for whatever you wish and after a month just watch how it changes your life.

[marshmallowprotection]

What are your thoughts on the new Cg? Butler Saeran? I’m not use to the him nor Jumin and Zen with glasses. But they look good

Normally, I would do a lengthy analysis post about the image, but there isn’t much here for me to analyze! I do want to write something for the anniversary that I will try to get out before the end of the month, but it's not going to be tacked onto an image analysis since there isn't much for me to say here other than point out a few Easter eggs. 

I got what I wanted. Jaehee in a tuxedo. This is what I manifested at the start of the month and I am grateful that we not only got her in a maid outfit, we got her in a butler outfit, too. Jaehee stans, you have won and she is front and center! This is her moment and she is killing it. I feel the need to stare at her for a little while because it's cute and there's no way I'm going to let this moment pass me by without really appreciating Jaehee aesthetically.

I'll be honest, I don't know why the recent trend has been to make our boy Yoosung super clumsy. He's never really been a clumsy guy and I don't know where someone got the idea that Yoosung isn't on top of what he's doing. I will agree in saying he's probably the easiest person to bully in the entire universe because he's sweet and gullible, but he isn't clumsy, and yet, every image we've gotten of him this year other than his birthday image has had him busting his ass on the ground in one way or another.

Does ANYONE know why they're bullying Yoosung this bad? I mean, he's really cute here and I appreciate that he's trying his best to really impress the MC, but c'mon, give him a break.

I did not realize how badly I needed Jumin in glasses. Jumin's already a very handsome person but somehow adding glasses really elevates it here for some reason. I don't know how his vibe has enhanced for me but it has. I wear glasses myself and I always have, so it's nice to see the characters in glasses in official artwork because I'm always super curious to see how they would look. It's working for Jumin, that I can tell you.

I like that his hair isn't as neat and tidy as it usually is, too.

I fear they have slayed. Saeyoung and Zen are dazzling in their own right and I can't remember the last time they were drawn side by side but I think it's been a little while.

I've already noticed many people have pointed out that Saeyoung is wearing a ring. It's a little bit silly that he's wearing it over his glove, but I have to admit that is something he would do if this were his timeline. He is proud of the fact that he gets to live in this world, and he's even happier to know that he has somebody by his side who understands him more than anyone else. He's definitely that guy who doesn't stop talking about his partner because he's so in love. 

Zen with roses is something I've come to expect because he's also a traditional romantic. Red roses are the best way to captivate someone with your love and it’s no surprise that he follows that path. It might seem a little cliche but who is he if not somebody who loves romantic cliches? He is that guy who would watch romcoms with you all day long regardless of your relationship status with him, he just gets it.

I don't know how I feel about him wearing glasses since he doesn't seem like a glasses guy, but maybe if I saw him in sunglasses I might be able to rationalize this better. He's wearing a stylized pair here and I think it's the gold that's throwing me off. If it was silver, I don't think I would feel as perplexed by how I feel because silver fits him better as that's typically what he chooses for himself.  

Controversial thing to say every time I say it, but I have to tell you guys that Jihyun is still my third favorite character in the game, and I really don’t mind when Saeran and V are drawn together. I recognize that they do this because those two are tied together as the leads of Another Story, just as the core five, meaning Yoosung, Zen, Jaehee, Jumin, and Seven are drawn together.

But, to me, seeing Jihyun with everyone makes me feel like there is a timeline where V did the right thing for everyone and asked for help at the first sign of trouble instead of continually shooting himself in the foot. A lot of the art that's drawn with V included is self-indulgent and can only exist as true fanservice because it would never be true in most routes of the game. 

Normally, I would expect him to look exasperated in art like this but he seems to be fairly confident which is a good change for Jihyun. I’ll take it! 

I have no idea what they're doing here, did they choreograph a song and dance? They aren't the most coordinated members of the group so that makes me want to laugh. It's sweet, but I have a huge feeling they're going to trip over each other if not on their own feet. Saeran is as cute as always, I could talk about him for hours.

Seeing him as a butler always takes me back to when Ray said he would be happy to be your butler in a huge mansion. That was utterly indicative of the fact he was willing to become subservient to you if it meant you would stick around. That’s what the first bad ending is all about. Unfortunately, he thought so poorly of himself that he would be willing to make himself nothing more than something for you to push around if that's what you wanted. 

At least, in this context, he's doing it because he wants to make you happy, sure, but it's not something he's doing to make sure you stick around, he knows you'll still be there no matter what because he doesn't have to work himself to the bone to prove he's worthy of your companionship. 

I don't know if anybody picked this up but the painting is in homage to the anniversary image from two years ago. Rika was in the painting that time, and this time around, it's MC.

I do think it's worth noting that they are playing with light and dark imagery which is to be expected in a game that takes a lot of cues for religious imagery. Rika and MC are always bathed in white and black, light and dark, true contrast.

They're both wearing a dress that goes off of the shoulders, the only difference being the color and the style. MC has a more sleek pattern and Rika is bathed in ruffles. Rika’s seems to be more constrained and MC’s a little more loose around the edges. MC is free to make choices one way or the other by pushing outward, and Rika makes choices that go against her best interest as she pulls inward. I think another CG that plays on this is the BE from V Route.

Love her or hate her, there are important parallels at play here. 

In conclusion, Rika has always been like this in official art and I don't know what to tell you.

[kitsune-oji]

Hi! It's me again! How are you doing? :D

I would have another request, if they are open and if it's within the rules and not too overwhelming for you.

I would like to request the brothers (and Barbatos if it's not too much) tucking a gn MC to bed.

I'm not projecting because I'm tired (I say like a lying liar), but I think this scenario might be a huge source of fluff.

I wanted to write it myself for myself actually, but the writer block hit hard, and sharing it might be a better idea.

I'm done rambling, I thank you for your attention and I wish you a good day. :D

-🐨

Tucking You In

I made little drabbles for each one, going a bit into what situations would make them tug you in. I hope this is the comfort you were craving and that you like it ♡

Characters: Brothers, Barbatos

Gn! Mc (you/yours)

Tags/Warnings: fluff, some forehead kisses, comfort, can be platonic or romantic, reader is described as/implied to be hardworking (Lucifer) having trouble sleeping (Beel, Belphie), Levi is a tiny bit creepy? Depends on your boundaries, reader likes tea (Barbatos)

Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose between his eyes and runs his hand through his hair. He's been working most of the day again and for some reason he felt like it was getting to him more than usual. Perhaps it was because he had spent so little time with you recently that he felt so exhausted. Your mere presence made Lucifer feel more at ease than anything else. With that in mind, he stands up to search you out. If you asked, he could just say that he wanted to check if you went to bed on time and didn't overwork yourself like he did. Fair enough, you're just about ready to go hop into bed when Lucifer knocks at your door. You ask him what he wants and he tells you his excuse but by the suspicious narrowing of your eyes, you don't fully believe him. It's ok though. You get into bed and look at Lucifer expectantly, as if to say "I'm in bed now. Are you happy?". The first born smiles fondly and walks over to you, tucking the blanket in around you so that you're snug and warm. The action makes your expression soften too and after a chaste kiss to your forehead, Lucifer tells you to sleep well and moves to leave the room. "You too", you whisper and the demon softly closes the door. Maybe he should go to bed early today.

Mammon has been keeping close to you the whole day, not letting you do anything alone. It was a bit suffocating but you couldn't bring yourself to tell him to leave you alone because there was a desperation in the way Mammon kept trying to make sure you're ok. Maybe he had a bad dream last night but asking him didn't help. The question made him tense up and deny it vehemently, taking a step back and keeping out of your bubble for a while before he forgot about that and coddled you again. So you decided to let it be for today. If he was still so overprotective tomorrow you would speak up, you told yourself. The day came to an end and though it wasn't too eventful, you felt incredibly exhausted. Mammon brought over his toothbrush and everything just so he could get ready for bed by your side and you were happier than ever to just get into bed already. Yet he was still there as you climbed into bed, standing near you fidgeting around. Before you could ask, Mammon took your blanket from your hands and pulled it up to your shoulders in your stead. He tugged you in without a word and clearly he was embarrassed but it made him feel more at ease to do this for you. It made you think that in situations like this, Mammon really looked like an older brother after all.

Leviathan and you had been playing games and watching anime all evening. Time ran by and before you knew it, it had become so late that you dozed off next to Levi. He was used to staying up late but you had tried to keep a decent sleeping schedule because of classes and thus couldn't keep your eyes open at this hour. Levi was so focused on the anime that he didn't notice much of anything else. Only when he turned to you to talk about what just happened, voice raised in excitement, did he see you almost asleep in the beanbag. Oh, you looked so cute in his eyes and before he knew it, he had already taken a picture of you. Immediately shame washed over him for just taking pictures of you without asking. What if you got mad at him for it? You mumbled something incoherent and blinked an eye open to peer at him. Levi stared at you like a deer caught in headlights before quickly placing the phone behind him and taking the blanket that had fallen to your lap. He covered you with it again up to your chin and tucked you in gently. "You can sleep, I'll turn down the volume a bit, ok?" Hopefully you couldn't see the mortified blush on his cheeks in the darkness of his room.

Satan was such a calm presence, belying what you would expect from the avatar of wrath. Quiet evenings together with him consisted of warm drinks and good books read side by side. It was your favorite way to spend time with him after a long day and you were sure he shared the sentiment. As it was, it didn't take too long for your eyes to grow tired and your head to demand sleep. It was so comfortable and warm and safe here that it really was no surprise. Your yawn alerted Satan and he looked at the clock. "You should sleep if you're tired. Here, you can sleep over tonight. No need to go back to your room tonight." Your response was a tired nod before you put in your bookmark and put your book away. Already in comfortable clothes, you crawled on top of Satan's matress and let yourself flop down. You hadn't even noticed him stand up but the demon was at your side already, pulling the blanket over you and tugging you in all snug. A pleased smile grazed your lips and you nuzzled your face into the pillow below your head. It smelled like him. As you fell asleep, you saw Satan sit back down in his armchair and pick up his book once more.

Asmodeus loved to host sleepovers. Especially if it was just the two of you, of course. However, this night you were already so exhausted from the events of the day that you were yawning and struggling to stay awake much sooner than usual. Asmo made a tutting sound and shook his head softly but there was no bite behind it. The timer for your face masks rung in right that moment and Asmo took care of the rest of the treatment he had planned for tonight for both you and him himself. It was nice to have him take care of you like this, so you merely let him do his thing. Soft explanations of what he would do next, what he was applying and what it would do accompanied his actions and it only made you sleepier as time went by. "There you go", Asmo whispers, "We're done here. Why don't you go to sleep early? I'll even tug you in, ok honey?" There was something playful about his proposition but you just nodded and scooted up the bed to lay your head on the pillows proper. You thought you heard him call you cute before he went ahead and tugged you in. So meticulous and gentle, with a kiss to your forehead and a little "goodnight" before the lights dimmed so much they were practically off but not quite. It was a good thing Asmo could see so well in the dark, since he still had quite a bit to clean up before he could join you and sleep himself.

Beelzebub could be found in the kitchen basically every night and sometimes that fact gave you a sense of comfort. Because on nights like this, when you struggled to sleep, you could almost definitely search him out. Without having to wake him, he'd just be there and you could talk to him in the middle of the night. You'd walk into the kitchen and Beel took a moment to notice you but when he did, he looked first surprised and then a hit apologetic. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry, I tried to be quiet." But you shook your head no in response. He wasn't the reason you couldn't sleep after all. You sat on the table in the middle of the room and swung your legs back and forth lazily as you watched him clear out the rest of the fridge in record time. While he munched on the leftovers from dinner, Beel regarded you once more. You told him how you couldn't sleep and that you knew he'd be here and you just wished to be in his company. The blush on his cheeks was endearing, as was the way he touched his wrist like he always did when something flustered him. When he was done with the food, Beel asked if you wanted him to come to your room with you and you agreed. Going back to your room alone again made you feel so alone, sort of empty. When you crawled into bed, Beel took care to bundle you up warm and comfy in your blanket and after you were all tugged in, he smiled softly at you. Gently petting your head, he told you he'd be here until you fell asleep again or if you wanted, he could stay the night too. Whatever comfort you needed, he'd be there.

Belphegor was the go to demon when you had trouble sleeping. Though he may be a bit grumpy when woken up and liked to play into his little brother role often, he wouldn't say no if you wanted his help, his attention or his care. Sometimes it was all three and he reveled in the fact you came to him. Since his sin was sloth, it should have been no surprise that he could manipulate and influence people's sleep and dreams. Making you drowsy, helping you fall asleep and setting the tone for your dreams was no trouble for him. Only he could help you this way, he knew. Laying next to you, Belphie pulled th blanket up to your shoulders and tugged you in as well as he could. Being comfortable was one of the most important aspects if you wanted to rest well and the blanket was more than just a source of warmth. Holding your hands in his, he let his powers wash over you in gentle waves. You needn't worry about nightmares or waking up during the night before morning. Not as long as he was by your side and that knowledge alone made you relax as the sweet embrace of sleep enveloped you.

Barbatos was known for finding joy in taking care of others. At least if he was fond of them and it should be no surprise that that included you as well. If you ever doubted it, he'd have no qualms about telling you of his feelings and reassuring you. Though most days Barbatos was hugely occupied with assisting Diavolo, sometimes he found the time to show you his care as well. You had spent the day together and when it was time to rest for the night, Barbatos asked if he could take care of you now as well. While you brushed your teeth and washed your face, the butler had brewed you a tea. The blend was meant to calm your mind and nerves and help you get a good night's rest. Your night clothes laid on your bed for you to change into them and Barbatos took the clothes you had changed out of to put them away too. It was a bit strange, to be assisted like this every step of the way but you couldn't say you minded. It was nice in a way, to get this level of attention and care from someone you liked. When you finally laid down, he was there to tug you in and when he cradled your cheek, brushing his thumb over you brow and asked if he may, you nodded. You knew what he meant, expecting the soft kiss to your forehead. "Goodnight", he told you and took the empty tea cup with him, turning off the lights and giving you one last smile before closing the door to let you sleep.

[batsplat]

welcome back casey stoner !

https://www.tumblr.com/verdemint/761549873456775168/same-interview-they-asked-him-how-does-he-deal

(link)

asjddkh SEE this is what I'm talking about!! something about those incredibly neurotic ducati champions, eh. in the post linked above, pecco's talking about how he deals with media pressure... which, yeah, pecco and casey really do share a fair bit of competitive dna there - from the insistence that it doesn't affect them whatsoever to how they do in fact get extremely pissy whenever they feel misrepresented by the media. very sensitive to that kind of thing, those two are... but at the same time they're also both their own harshest critics. from casey's autobiography (all quickly nabbed from this post, which ofc expands on casey's perfectionism):

I got a lot of criticism over the years for being honest because I always felt I could do better. Even if I won the race, if I had made mistakes it was important for me to admit them and address them for next time instead of congratulating myself for being the best on that particular day.

and:

Whatever challenges I take on now I am still driven by the same quest to improve - I can’t change who I am. As a personality trait this is both a good thing and a bad thing. I like that part of me but it would be nice to not be like that sometimes, to enjoy something without being obsessed with getting better at it. I am sure you can go through life a lot happier if you don’t analyse everything.

versus pecco:

The strength that I've proved in various situations comes from the fact that I am extremely critical of myself, and so it only takes a little bit for me to put myself down even more.

like yeah I suppose that's one way of looking at it - nobody else can get to you if you're already tearing into yourself. it's a motivational process that's very much built on negativity, right, on the need to live up to their own exacting standards. both pride themselves for their ability to put failures behind them quickly - to be able to immediately bounce back because they tell themselves they only care about doing better in the next race. plus, there's that interesting dynamic where both are like... pretty big on this idea they're not making excuses for themselves, committed to honestly assessing themselves and all that,, BUT also have reputations for being whiny to the press... because people for whatever reason end up thinking they're constantly blaming everything but themselves for their shortcomings. again, very prone to feeling misunderstood!! neither of them are necessarily terrible communicators - but there's a certain reluctance there (obviously more so from casey) to even play that game at all. mix in a learned wariness because they feel like they've been burned before.... that whole pecco episode last year where he said one reason for the increased injury rate is probably because the field is tighter now (which, yes! seems logical!) ,,, and then some unholy combination of clumsy phrasing, media framing and an ungenerous fan response ended up translating that to pecco saying he wanted satellite bikes to be slower again... gave me real casey vibes lol. casey had a fair few of those episodes himself - though at least the news cycle and social media fandom weren't quite as bad back then. in a lot of ways he'd struggle even more nowadays

also,, you do have to mention - they both end up defining themselves against valentino specifically when it comes to their public personas. casey might be the rival and pecco the mentee, but both of them have been clear that they do not desire to be the next valentino rossi. kinda what I said here, right

idk, obviously pecco had a heads-up a little earlier than casey did that sensibly communicating to the media WAS going to be a big part of the job. but there's still a wariness there, an unwillingness to be something they're not, knowing that they'd be miserable trying to match valentino's particular brand of flamboyance... it is key that it is a choice they're making. they just don't want that for themselves, never have. there's only ever so much outreach they're willing to do

also this

“Stoner and Bagnaia are two different riders, but they have the same mental attitude,” Tardozzi told AS. “I think Pecco is still growing. He already took a big leap by winning the championship, but the biggest jump in his head has been done this year, after the two falls in Argentina and Austin. “He is an intelligent boy and has spoken a lot with the team, and what happened has made him take another step to make him even more of a champion. Now he has the right mentality. Pecco will become one of the greats. Right now it is showing that he is growing, as I told you before."

'resilience' is I think a word I associate quite strongly with both of them. they take their fair share of punches, do tend to get called mentally fragile a lot - but in truth there's a steel there that serves them well. did talk a little bit about the similarities of their motivational processes here too:

and

and one other thing I've been thinking about is that this... y'know, use of spite, of self-criticism, of how annoyed they get at others' criticisms - for both of them, it is also paired with a determined refusal to countenance they could be mentally affected by anything. with casey in particular, it's a bit of an overcorrection in response to how often he was described as mentally weak; it's understandable you might get extremely sensitive about the whole thing, if you weren't already. a lot of it is also stubbornness... a bone-deep contrarianism that immediately makes them push back if somebody suggests they might struggle for any reason related to psychology. where this really jumps out is how they talk about their rivals. obviously, nobody is going to say that their opponent's mind games work on them because that'd be deeply stupid to admit - but there is something about pecco's firm insistence marc's mind games don't have a hope of working on him that is really reminiscent of how casey has talked about valentino. it's that dynamic of ,, well, they're not wrong in that they're stronger than people give them credit for, but obviously they are also. like. extremely defensive, past the point of necessarily being reasonable. sometimes, what your rival does will affect you. that's kinda how rivalries work lol. but both of them are very committed to this narrative that their working process is super self-directed. casey's whole thing about how he's never gotten obsessed with rivals, pecco's 'we work in silence' schtick... it comes back round to the relationship with the media, right, where they have a natural inclination towards framing that as an oppositional dynamic - and automatically chafe against any narratives that might be externally imposed on them. actually, you see, rivals don't affect their performance at all, they don't need to constantly slobber to the press to hype up their performances, they'll do their talking on-track... but the unspoken truth there is that all of those things do matter, they are paying a lot of attention - and in the end, 'proving a point' to someone becomes a central part of the motivational process. they hear all the criticisms, they seethe in 'silence' (often involves a fair bit of public complaining but let's allow it), and then they determinedly show how all their critics were fools and losers. rinse and repeat

anyway yeah apparently that's part of the ducati magic - a dash of neuroticism, a heavy dose of self-flagellation, inject a desire for authenticity that might at times read as whiny, stir in the makings of a persecution complex and top it off with a sprinkling of spite. probably not the easiest type of guy to handle, but clearly there's something to the formula. a compelling approach to be sure

[lady-potato-ninja]

Prowling the inbox like a half tame thing, just confessing that I saw your art tutorials and was like "Neat!" and then saw the potato in the name and that clinched it for me <3 /origin story sharing for free!

Anyway! I'm asking you to this dance of an ask game, because I enjoy the stories in the tags you write and then I was like, there is a function built in for being more candid~ Please tell me more lady-potato-ninja lore, as they say. ^^ Referring to this post here: >> https://www.tumblr.com/shreedle/762344461629112320?source=share <<

🧠🌂👀🌹 Okay bye! See you on the dashboard!

Ah 🙈🙈🙈 I'm so glad you liked my tutorials! I am actually in the mist of making a new one on how to better your artistic workflow! I'm not done yet- still trying to make it make sense but I hope it might help you in some way once it's out😉!

🧠- What fictional character do you relate to the most?

I’m gonna be extra because you said you liked my rambling and go for more than one character. I’ve mostly been into podcast fandoms thus far and it feels like those characters were really easy to relate to.

Mollymauk Tealeaf from Critical Role: I learned so much about myself throught this character. He’s the embodiment of change and self-love and just living life the way you want it. I was very envious of the joyful way he lived his life and it stayed with me long after I stopped watching Critical Role and I feel like now I got to this point where I love myself and the multitude ways in which I change everyday.

Martin Blackwood from the Magnus Archive: I think we’re awfully similar; in a made from the same cloth kind of way. He’s a very attentive character who tries his best to provide help, care and support to the people around him and it’s something I pride myself to do as well, one of my friends said I was an approachable person and I wear this quality as a badge of honor. I strive to be a kind-hearted person.

At a time, I was also really relating to his loneliness which I sometimes still am. Hearing about how he felt made me realise that I felt the same about me. And it actually made me take care of myself more because I couldn’t let such a deep sadness continue on in me! But don’t fret, now I’m a much happier person and I feel like it’s in part because of him, weirdly enough.  

Jang Hee-Soo from the kdrama Moving: This kdrama is so good and it really struck a chord with me for multiple reasons but mostly because I had never seen a media better portray the relationship between a parent and their child.

With her dad, Jang Hee-Soo sees what he does for her and his sacrifices and she understands him, she takes the time to know her dad as a person more than just a parental figure and she tries to give back and sacrifice what she can to help him. I feel like it’s the same way I love and cherish my parents. I see myself in the careful way she takes care of him while supporting his dreams and cheering him on. (It honestly made me cry and that’s why I haven’t finished this series yet I KEEP CRYING!)

She also has this whole motif about rage that really speaks to me. A part of me is like a fire that is inextinguishable and she’s the same.

Special mention to Hong Cha-young from Vincenzo because my gf said I was like her > The style, the goofiness and the evil not evilness🙈

🌂- You have to choose three fiction characters to help you survive in the apocalypse, who are you picking?

Senshi from delicious in dungeon: I need someone who knows enough about fauna and flora to know which plants/animal parts are good to eat in the wild and which ones are poisonous! I know how to cook and bake well enough but not enough to utilize everything in the best way and how to keep food well stocked. I feel like we would get along well plus he would remind me to actually eat and drink which is fairly important.

Aragorn from LOTR: Having a ranger in the team is essential because I lack most of what he has to offer and while Senshi might cover a similar ground, I feel like Aragorn would be helpful in many other ways such as, finding/creating shelter and keeping us from getting lost. He would be longing for his wife; I would be longing for my wife; we would be partners in long lost love stories.

Doctor Mccoy from Star Trek: I know how to give first aid + CPR, take care of burn wounds and other small wounds but in this situation, I feel like a real doctor should be a part of the team. Plus, Bones is used to critical situations with the amount of bathshit crazy things happening on the enterprise and he quickly adapts to changes. He also has great bedside manners so if I end up dying well at least my last moments will be nice lol. I almost forgot his massive balls of steel – this man is unshakable!

I think we would make the dream team: I know how to fish, mend/make (bad) clothes, bake and cook, ect. And three out of four of us know how to fight: I am a green belt in karate + I can throw handheld axes; Senshi has his axe + his shield/cauldron and Aragorn got his sword skills. I mean we’re pretty much covered in terms of leadership, nutrition, health, living quarters, troc strategies and defense… We could survive this!

👀 -Most tame ship you enjoy

Daisuga? Maybe? It’s very soft, they’re basically already married at this point lol. It’s a sweet, no conflict ship!

🌹 - What's a small fanbase you're a part of?

Gekkan Shojo Nozai kun: I watch this every summer and I can’t wait to see more if there’ll ever be more…. It’s just such a charming and chaotic show! The characters all have hilarious gimmicks that make them so endearing and you just want to see them succeed. It’s honestly really worth the watch if you haven’t seen it already!

Professor Layton: I think about replaying the games every other week < I could ‘cause I still have my DS and multiple games but I want to be able to cast it on the TV so I can play with my gf or watch her play!

[es-draws]

Hi! Idk if you have any advice about it but I wanted to ask - I’m into feedism and don’t really know how to bring it up to my gf. I’ve asked before if I could do things like feed her cookies when we have sex and she’s been cool with that and me touching her tummy when we’re snuggling, but for some reason it feels like it’d be a step too far to share with her that I’d be really into feeding and fattening her up, even as just a fantasy to role play with. To clarify, I’m not interested in making her gain weight secretly or anything like that, I just don’t wanna feel like I’m hiding something about myself. But at the same time I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or see me in a weird way. Do you have any thoughts? Thanks :)

I think I speak for all of us when I say - I get it. Talking about this kink is something I struggled with (and still do). But I'll also say that introducing my partner to feedism was one of the best decisions I ever made. And I think it would be for you too!

I think a lot of people worry that their partner will feel either unattractive for looking big, or weirded out by this unusual attraction. But in your case, it really doesn't sound like that's an issue. You're gf already knows you like feeding her, she already knows that you find her tummy attractive, and she's been totally fine with it! I don't know the full story of course, but she's not giving you any signs that this is weird to her or that she doesn't like it. If anything, she's been happy to try things with you. So why would she react any different if you told her more about what you like?

So I think it's absolutely worth it to bring it up! She'd want to know how you're feeling. She's your partner, after all - she's supposed to be the person you can confide in. You'll only be happier in the long run if you can share your true feelings. And if it's anything like my own experience, you may be surprised how much she likes it. It might help her feel more confident in her body and at her weight. And if nothing else, she'll probably be excited to know what she can do to make you happy!

As for how to tell her, here are two things that really helped me (below the cut):

-Ask her about her kinks first. Sometimes it's easier to bring up awkward topics like this if you show your support first. Let her know you wanted to try more things that get her excited in the bedroom, and ask if there are any fantasies she'd like to try. I'm sure she'll respond well to that, since you're showing that you care about her needs, and you're creating a safe space for her to answer without being embarrassed herself. And once she shares more about what she likes, it becomes so much easier to talk about what you like. You're already having the conversation, and you're already free of judgement. And I guarantee that if you ask what she likes first, she'll want to know what you like next.

-It's okay to start slow. I didn't come all out with it once, it felt too awkward to say "well I think it'd be hot if I fed you and made you gain a ton of weight" lol. They don't know your kink, so you don't want their first experience to give them the wrong impression. So I just said "I think bellies are really sexy." And in my case, my partner loved that. She didn't find it odd at all, and was immediately excited that I liked that part of her. She asked more about it, and it became so easy to just have a discussion about feedism. It was painless. And in the end, she was even more on board to try it!

So uh, yeah. Sorry for the wall of text. But TL;DR: don't be afraid to go for it! Your gf will probably respond better than you think! And I think you'll both be happier to share what you like!

[fruitycasket]

Pot Roast! (Sunspell)

I don't know how to write people being happy... So I made a compromise with myself and had Marvin be sick, so then Moira (first) and Sunday (second) can come to his aid and make him a bit happier. Also Higgins is there being (un)helpful.

Also. I made myself hungry. Pot roast is good (and it cooks itself!). :>

(Also up on Ao3 under RottenFruitz)

“You should've called me, you're burning up!” Moira shook her head at the unseen but undoubtedly high number displayed on her thermometer.

Wow, I had no idea. Had it been anyone else, Marvin would have said that aloud. For Moira, he mumbled, "You didn't have to come over."

To that, she snorted. "Not like it's my job or anything. Can you stand?"

No. No he could not. "I'm a man, I can get m'own medicine."

"And end up crawling back to your bed?"

"Ah… well…" That was an accurate assessment of how Marvin handled debilitating sickness. Grumbling half-legible rebuttals, he sank further into bed. Perched on his chest as he had been since daylight broke, Higgins purred, the noise going steady like the hum of a generator. The cat seemed to think he was helping but the extra body heat was the last thing Marvin wanted.

He was scalding hot, sweaty, and mouthbreathing as he lay on top of his duvet. Every now and then be broke into a fit of wet, choking coughs or was seized by several sneezes in a row. What had been the sniffles yesterday was now a full-blown, disabling flu. Or something like that. Maybe Moira had told him otherwise and he hadn't heard or forgotten.

“You need is rest,” Moira chided him, "Which means you stay in this bed until you're feeling better."

"All day? I'll go mad."

"You will be if I find out you've not listened to me."

Marvin hesitated. "Yeah, I will be."

He'd only told Sunday he was ill, and had only meant for Sunday and his friends to know, but he must have sounded seconds from keeling over if the news had gotten to Moira anyway. Did one of them have her phone number? That was a little disconcerting for a reason he couldn't place. That, or they'd just gone to his mum's house, and he didn't feel better about that, either.

Moira said something about getting him medicine and water. Marvin wasn't really listening. His brain, currently cooking in its own immune response, was struggling to keep up its usual activities, and he had all but used up its computing space with that single conversation and the following bit of thinking. Moira left and she could have been gone for a minute or an hour, but when she returned, she spooned Marvin two different medicines, set a glass of cool water on his nightstand, and kissed him on the forehead.

(Then, at the cat's insistence, she gave Higgins a kiss, too.)

“You should feel less shitty in a little while,” Moira stood, "I'll be on my way, now. You get some rest like I said."

“M'kay…” Marvin said. “Thanks.”

“That’s what parents are for." She squeezed his hand, stood, and left him with one more message: "A friend is coming over to check on you later, so if you've been getting out of bed"—she narrowed her eyes—"I'll know."

Marvin sighed, then all but coughed up a lung. When he was finished, he whispered through a sore throat, "Yes ma'am."

Whatever Moira had given him, it knocked him out within the hour. With Higgins as his mildly weighted blanket, he drifted in and out of sleep for all the morning and a good chunk of the afternoon. Once or twice a noise roused him, but he was never cognizant enough to register that he was awake, or that someone might be pressing a hand against his forehead and asking him how we was doing, or that he was answering in deeply slurred words. It all felt like one long, lurid dream where his bedroom sometimes spontaneously appeared.

(It would take hindsight for him to realize it wasn't all a dream, and to realize who some of those dreams were about.)

It wasn't until mid-afternoon when his medicine wore off that Marvin started staying up for more than a few minutes at a time.

By the time he was wide awake, able to push himself up in bed, Higgins was gone.

Coughing and wheezing, he fumbled for the bottles Moira had left for him beside his bed and gave himself what seemed like an appropriate dose from both. The bitter taste was washed down with a cup of water. With that done, he tried to follow his orders—don't get up, except to take a piss or eat—but he was stir crazy and wanted to get away from the cocoon of sweat he'd made for himself. He had to move around, wander, cast a spell, something. It was one thing to be curled up with a book, snug in his bed of his own free will, but the second someone or something forced stillness upon him he got twitchy.

So, when he got sick, he usually slept as much as he could get away with, but his oppressive body heat and inflamed nose yet to be quelled by his second medicine dose. That wasn't an option.

Well, the thermostat wasn't in his bedroom, that was a good enough excuse to get up. And he could top off Higgins' food and water while he was at it.

It took a while for Marvin to peel himself off his bed. Once he was up, he meandered out to his living room. He opened his mouth to call for Higgins, and instead ended up sputtering: “Sunday?”

Sunday was in his kitchen. A pot of beef stew was boiling strong, an electric kettle was just beginning to heat up, and he was rifling through the cabinets. Higgins was up on the counter, curled into a loaf and watching the pot with hungry eyes. Sometimes the cat gave Sunday a quick glance, like he was weighing up how likely it was that he could get the lid off, steal a bite, and dart under the couch before he was caught.

Upon hearing his name, Sunday stopped his search to give Marvin a disapproving frown. “You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“Oh, so you were—I just—I expected you'd check in and leave.”

“I have been, but I thought you'd want dinner, and…" Sunday gestured at Higgins, "…he was hungry. I can leave now, though. Stew beef basically cooks itself and it's almost done."

Marvin considered that. "No I'm—I'm fine. With you staying, I mean."

“Alright. Well, sorry if I woke you up coming through the front door,” Sunday continued speaking, “Your spice cabinet didn't have what I needed, for one thing. Had to pop out and get some things.”

“I don't have a spice cabinet.” What he had was salt and pepper.

Sunday grimaced. “Exactly.” He paused. "You headed for the living room?”

"Yeah." It was only then Marvin realized he was winded. Ugh. He'd rather not have Moira coming around and spooning him medicine like he was five years old, but she'd at least seen (almost) all the rough edges he had to offer. It was different with Sunday.

"Figured as much. Let me get you before you keel over." Sunday came closer, and rather than offer a shoulder to lean on like Marvin expected he would, put on hand on his back. "Hold on to me."

"Why?" Marvin realized what was happening too late. Not that he could have done anything about it anyway, he'd had the build and muscle mass of a stickbug before this, now he must be even lighter from sweating all his water weight into his bed. It was an (embarassingly) proven fact that, whether with magic or by physical force, he was not a hard man to lift clear off the floor. “Don’t you dare”—

“Too late!” Sunday swept Marvin's feet out from under him, lifted him up bridal style.

Marvin, foreseeing himself plummet to the floor and break a bone, clung on to Sunday as he'd been asked. “Put me down!”

“And let you fall? That'd only embarrass you more.”

Marvin prayed his face wasn't as red as it felt. “The second I get better Sunday, I”—

“As long as you wait until you’re better first.” Sunday set him down on the couch and grinned. "Wasn't so bad, was it?"

Marvin harrumphed at him.

Someone had anticipated Marvin would go nuts in his room, because there were pillows and a blanket arranged neatly on the couch already. As Marvin set about ruining it (i.e. getting comfortable), Higgins jumped onto his lap the moment the space was available, crushing his stomach beneath his soft paws in a quest to get comfortable. With Higgins help, the blankets became a cushion-y, wrinkled pile hanging halfway off the couch.

Should I say thanks? He didn't feel particularly thankful. But he also didn't feel horrible, even though he was warmer than before and also no closer to his thermostat.

“When’s lunch done?” he asked instead.

“Soon. Sooner if you don't mind tough beef. I can make you a little hot cocoa while you wait, if you’re hungry, though.”

“Sure,” Marvin said. He shrank into the couch, suddenly aware of how sore he was.

A deep ache wormed through his muscles, down to his bones, and trying to hobble into the kitchen hadn’t helped matters. Half of him wanted to pace to distract himself from it, the other half said to sink into the couch and never resurface. At least his medicine was slowly working its way through him. (Or he'd placebo-effected himself into thinking that was the case.)

Every time he recovered from an illness he was quick to forget how miserable being sick was.

It felt like this would be his life now.

Forever.

“Oi. I see you wallowing over there,” Sunday chided him as he set down a steaming cup of chocolate milk on the couchside table.

“M'not wallowing,” Marvin said.

“Suuure.” Sunday gestured towards the drink. “Drink up.”

The heat of the cup eased his soreness a little. He sat with it in his hands, relishing its warmth for a while before taking a sip. “It’s good,” he said, “And I… I was wallowing. A little.”

“Only a little?” Sunday asked as he retreated into the kitchen.

Marvin didn’t reply to that. “How long have you been here? Coming in and out, I mean?”

“Only been in a few times.”

“Oh. Well, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

The sound of the pot lid being removed drifted from the kitchen alongside a mouthwatering smell. "Yeah this is almost good. Let me know if you need anything else."

Marvin asked for the heat to be turned down, and with that finished, silence settled over them, filled only by Higgins purring, then by the TV after Marvin couldn’t bear the quiet. Marvin wondered whether Sunday found it uncomfortable.

Should he have asked him to stay? Surely he had better things to do than keeping Marvin from going stir crazy. And, as it stood, Marvin was a health hazard. There had to be reasons Sunday had spent most of his time coming and going instead of here, and it felt odd to override those. Higgins had needed to be fed though and Marvin definitely couldn't have done that as he was.

One episode of some crime drama passed by surprisingly fast, and dinner was done.

Higgins knew it before Marvin did. He'd been watching Sunday every time he got up for signs he was going to the kitchen, and once he started taking out bowls for the stew, the cat darted across the floor to circle the man's ankles, begging for food as he came out of the kitchen with two bowls. Successfully charmed by his fuzzy round face, Sunday flung him a strip of beef after setting the food down on little couchside table.

Marvin shook his head. “You're spoiling him. Now he'll be insufferable."

Higgins inhaled the entire chunk of stew beef, tenderized by six hours of boiling in soup. When he was done, he licked his chops and sat by Sunday again, this time looking up at him with dinner plate-sized, I would die for you (so please feed me again!) eyes.

Marvin took a bite of his stew.

Damn, and so would I.

“Good, right?” Sunday was back on the armchair, attention split between Marvin and Higgins, who was poised to jump into his lap.

“It’s great, yeah.” Marvin paused. It went on for too long, and a little embarrassed that he didn’t say it before, hurried to add, “Thanks.”

"Of course it is, that's my mum's recipe."

They returned to silence, and Marvin alternated between being convinced it was awkward and thinking it was companionable. Sometimes they burst into fits of vibrant conversation for however long that lasted before drifting into quiet. Together, they burned through one third of a TV show they'd been meaning to watch, a few video essays, and a few bowls of stew beef, at which point it was getting dark, and Sunday wanted to go home. It was one of the first times Marvin had blown through a sick day so fast without the use of sleep.

It was nice.

A sick day—nice. What an oxymoron.

"Well…" Sunday stood and made a show of stretching, "It's about time I take my leave. Will you be alright here?"

I will be if you can carry me back to bed.

Marvin opened his mouth and hesitated. "I can get to bed on my own. But, yeah, I appreciate you for feeding the cat and all that."

Sunday grinned at him. "That's what friends are for. I'll see you around."

He watched Marvin head to his room, then started leaving when it seemed like he'd make it safely.

Marvin was left to crawl into bed, top off his medicine, and get as cozy as he could manage as he listened for the sound of Sunday leaving and locking the door behind him.

Once the other magician was gone, some little thrill that'd wormed into his heart died, and left behind a ghost—a notion that he'd messed something up.

Hm.

Being sick wouldn't be so bad if Sunday came over every time.

[cringelordofchaos]

HELLO, DEAR MUTUALS (please read if you're a mutual of mine)

I have decided that these days I am not going to be on the Internet as much for several reasons:

My mental health; being online so much really isn't helpful and it stresses me out and it makes me feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile. my general digital screentime is extremely high. also, I just feel much better off the internet no matter how addicting the internet really is, I just feel better in the real world and I feel much better going outside. I just feel much happier of the 'net, much more alive

My school life ; my grades are absolutely. horrendous. And if I don't want to repeat the whole school year, I'll have to study, even though I need additional help and support (which I am a bit ashamed of personally). In order to focus on my grades I won't be on the internet as much so I can study more and relearn almost a whole decade of school (don't ask, it's complicated)

Pursuing new interests; this sort of ties into the mental health aspect of it all, but I want to pursue more "productive" or more creative interests, and to do so I would have to spend less time on the internet. I want to play the flute more, I want to draw more, I want to learn more, I want to animate, I want to sing, act, crochet, craft, etc; the internet and digital life distracts me from my goals as to who I wanna be and how I want to spend my time

To get more friends; I love my mutuals, and I consider them all great friends!!! genuinely, interacting with you all makes me so happy. But I think having more non-online friends might do me some good.

To reconnect with my language a bit more; this one isn't as serious but as a person who's first language isn't English, at times I feel deeply ashamed of the fact that I speak the English language better than my own language. The reason as to why that is because I spend more time communicating with online people (with the English language) rather than speaking with people in my country. This one like I said isn't as serious but I just want to be more familiar with my own language than the English language hope you don't mind!!!

My physical health; I don't think this one needs much explaining?

To simply rediscover a better purpose in my life

To not disappoint the people around me - this isn't my primary reason for doing any of this but it feels so fucking awful whenever millennials and older people talk shit about the newer generations and how they have no life outside of their digital life, with little regard to the newer generations own emotions or well being. I feel like I'm disappointing my grandma, my father and the random people on the internet and myself. Again I have much better reasons to stop using the internet as much but this is one of the many reasons I have

Now, this might change? Idk, I might come back this weekend and start binge using the internet again and go down the awful internet rabbithole again. I will still go online sometimes!! Just most definitely not as much

I hope you understand!! I love you all have a great day!!!

[mademoisellekalopsia]

I thought you'd named your A and B characters, but I can't find that info on your blog, now.

That being said, how do A's (the character who initially had a thing for hiccups and gets hiccups regularly, it seems) hiccups differ from B's (the character who was featured as the "victim" of both hiccups and monthly hormones in the last fic)? Which of them has harder hiccups/faster hiccups/more persistent hiccups/more bothersome or mildly painful hiccups? And what is both of their limits on how much they can take hiccuping?

As an aside: Grumpy Corgi character makes me even happier to read about after I was behind a corgi the other day and saw its wide set front legs and narrow set hind legs and as it walked its butt did a little wiggle wiggle. So, I gotta know, does that particular breed trait translate to your KYL character? Cause that would be ridiculously endearing.

(I mean, obviously not a LITERAL translation, but cute wee butt characteristic, maybe. I just found myself giggling as I watched this tiny dog trot in front of me!)

To first tend to the TTWT ask... Changes have been made on that, I suppose reason as to why is because it'll be a small, short collection and the characters previously named are recent creations, embedded in my mind for myself to keep instead. That post was edited under "Then There Were Two." The stated information will still be as is, its just under default A and B until the end.

Pacing Speaking of hiccup pacing, sounds and its aspect, I like to think that A's hiccups (who gets them not so often, perhaps like 2-3 cases a month and depending on the count of induce) are diverse depending on their consciousness and context of the scene they are in. Being in public and with their beloved before confession, they keep it muffled, soft, almost silent in a way trying to suppress and course them alone, albeit their spouse has keen sense of hearing which means attention, and if there's attention on A, it'll escalate.

A lets the hiccups course how it pleases when they are alone, a need for distraction or satisfaction in some moments. Then, when the time of confession up to the present, A's hiccups are more loose and free now, too. No need to restraint. Moreover, it gets deep and hard when they are "gazed" at by their spouse and since said spouse is eventually developing that same kink, A can't help but find it somewhat incredibly hot, contributing what they are emotionally feeling at that specific moment to the case's pacing.

As for B, (one who gets a case once or twice a week) I'll say it is between occasional and persistent pacing depending on the trigger/source. They find it bothersome before, in which they'll just cure it right away out of no appreciation in them, but then considering A's appreciation and fondness of it, they would just let the case course through under their own will, no obligations present. They know when to stop and A truly respects that. Pacing is more at different sequences, mostly audible, y'know just come and go soft and quick ones, hard and brief dragging singles,

Limits I think A, as much as they like inducing or getting a case naturally, would rather pray and hope that the case doesn't last for more than 2 hours. I like to think they dealt a 2 hour bout before (with the beloved having the kink context) satisfying of urges, but it left A both spent and knackered from the on-going sensation of the case.

B, if they happen to have quick successions of pacing, I'm talking double after triple and so on, whether in the beginning or during, they'll have to cure it right away. End of case.

For the KYL Ask… Oh-ho, I mean, it is DEFINITELY so. Again, staying true to their dog breed, Pembroke Welsh Corgis are very much an icon for their signature "badonk," (sorry, not sorry, Sir, but I am giving you that iconic trait), better incorporate that on him.

Grumpy, gorgeous man gets a tad bit self-conscious about it, still learning to love himself more, being both stubby and well-padded, solely and through others who dearly loves him. Like me.

Grumpy Beloved OC: : head down, eyes up, arms crossed, chest puffed, letting out a heavy scoff : Really now?

AH-George! Not in the Bin Box section! I'll call you if someone ask of you a query, understand? Let's go, you gorgeous Pembroke. Thanks so much for the ask, Writer, now if you'll excuse me!