#makes it extremely more dark when you think the ambulances sometimes crash since in the virus that'd mean losing all your files

[the-acid-pear]

I was watching a video on computer viruses and i learnt about ÿ.exe and it honestly REALLY reminded me of Ambyu-Lance's attack.

I wonder if it was intentional, i mean, ILOVEYOU is referenced by virovirokun and while it is a virus the little game you have to play has the objective of saving all your files so it would fit for an antivirus.

[nagipops]

KONOHA ELEVEN IN A ZOOM CLASS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, hinata, kiba, shino, neji, rock lee, and tenten

WARNINGS: mentions of food

NARUTO

definitely has forgotten that he was unmuted multiple times

or his camera was accidentally turned on

you could just see him sprawled on his bed with a bowl of instant ramen on his lap and a blanket wrapped around himself

EARRAPE SLURPS!! rip headphone users.

sometimes he notices that his camera’s turned on and you can see him freak out and scramble to turn it off

but he accidentally unmutes himself too and so you just hear panicked yelling

his device topples to the floor with a loud crash and he screams so loud istg

the next thing you see is naruto’s face hovering over the camera in fear just before his camera turns off and he’s muted again

the teacher is so confused?? naruto should i call an ambulance

but when he’s not eating in class, he’s sleeping in class

too busy sleeping to leave the zoom at the end of class so he’s always the last one left in the meeting besides the teacher

always asks sakura what happened during the zoom and she is FED UP

SAKURA

enters the waiting room 15 minutes before class is actually supposed to begin

spends the next 15 minutes rearranging her work area, making sure she’s prepared for the day

sits properly at her desk with her hair smoothed down and her face positioned perfectly in frame

if no one else has their camera on, she’s the only one with it on

seriously, she ALWAYS HAS IT ON

and she never leaves the screen somehow

diligently takes notes, uses the “raise hand” feature every two minutes to ask a question

sometimes it can get a bit annoying, even for the teacher

but she almost always gets perfect marks

acts like in angel in class, but after class... no promises, naruto!

SHIKAMARU

this man can barely stay awake during missions, so during a zoom? HECK NAH

shikamaru is literally me,, half asleep during lessons but somehow gets amazing grades

everyone’s either pissed at or envious of him (especially naruto)

obviously does not have his camera on

and rarely ever unmutes

uses the chat feature to answer the teacher’s questions but this man is basically asleep so its so incoherent

“shikamaru, what is a hyperbole?”

in chat: “a hyeprbole is a exsaggerayed phras,e”

teacher definitely thinks he’s cheating on tests

INO

either a) daydreaming about boys or b) checking herself out in the zoom camera OR c) secretly fuming at sakura’s know-it-all behavior

the two girls definitely compete to see who can raise their virtual hand first

"ahem, ahem- sensei? could i answer this question?"

her voice gets all sickly sweet and sakura HATES IT

the two of them totally got caught insulting each other in the private chat

100% the type of student to rewrite her notes after classes with various markers and colored pens and pretty fonts and patterns and whatnot

loves doodling flowers in her notebook during boring lessons!

CHOJI

another strong contender for the Loudest Student award!

not on purpose though, he just forgets that space bar = unmute, and plays some jumping game in another tab (like the no internet dino game!)

also,, rip headphone users

c r o n c h munch munch munch

are you kidding this man's chews are loud enough in person, but with a HEADSET?! hoo boy.

has conked out several times during class

just imagine the name Choji Akimichi with a profile picture of a bag of chips light up with the green box around it with a thunk

the teacher and class is so confused

but then you hear mumbles of "barbeque... chips... barbeque..."

and you realize that the man fell asleep onto his keyboard

he sleeps through the rest of class

HINATA

shy bb has never ONCE turned on her camera

the only time she's ever unmuted was to say "here" during attendance on the first day of school

if the teacher ever takes attendance again, she just uses the raise hand feature

what if naruto-kun thinks my voice is ugly? what if i accidentally turn on my camera? what if the teacher thinks i'm not paying attention? what if-

poor baby is too busy worrying about showing herself on zoom to actually pay attention

actually gets good grades though and her classmates wonder if she’s even there

her zoom pfp is definitely just a purple google “H”

KIBA

has the CUTEST zoom pfp hands down

it’s a selfie of him grinning cheerily with baby akamaru

100% has his camera on the whole time to show off his pup

he loves seeing everyone’s faces on screen melt and aww at the lil big doggo

sometimes akamaru just walks in front of the camera and blocks kiba from view and you just see a massive wall of white fur on screen LMAO

even though kiba’s muted, you can see him and akamaru bickering about who knows what

or even play fighting,, these two get into full on BRAWLS during class

just imagine akamaru shoves kiba into his desk and his camera crashes to the ground overturned so you see the ceiling and the occasional dog tail wagging in the corner

seriously, can the teacher ever catch a break with this class?

the answer is no.

SHINO

his zoom pfp is just a tick.

a singular tick

totally answers questions in chat with proper capitalization and punctuation

shikamaru’s improper answers tick him off

“A hyperbole is an expression that is greatly exaggerated. They are used in order to create emphasis.”

has never unmuted in his life either

he’s so unfazed by everything that goes down in class that it’s funny

if anything the slightest bit RELATED to bugs comes up during class, in 0.00238 seconds this man has an entire essay about them posted in chat, almost like he had it copied and READY to paste

everyone's definitely shocked that there’s actually a human listening behind a tick profile picture

NEJI

a very diligent note taker

seriously, this man writes like a printer; perfectly even handwriting that looks like a font, a million words per minute

everyone asks him for his notes after the zoom because they’re so neat (especially naruto, to neji’s dismay)

he gets excellent grades since he’s so organized and focused

just wishes the zoom would be over so he can work alone in peace

really hates unmuting so he often gives one-word answers in the chat

“Yes” “47” “Present” “Goodbye”

has used a zoom reaction ONCE in his life and he has never wanted to crawl into a hole and perish more

it was a complete accident,, mans was just trying to open the chat to type in his answer, but in a cruel twist of fate he clicked on the 😂 reaction

and he just sat there for ten excruciating seconds in complete and utter shock and shame for ten excruciating seconds as he prayed for it to disappear

tenten would never let him live that down

ROCK LEE

Zoom Reaction Enthusiast

😂😮👍🎉❤️ 24/7

naruto accidentally unmutes himself? 😮

choji falls asleep on his keyboard? 😂

neji answers something correctly? 👍

tenten received the highest score in class? 🎉

akamaru appears on screen? ❤️

unmutes whenever he needs to, but he thinks the little emoticons are so silly and cute

otherwise, he is EXTRA FOCUSED and EXTREMELY DETERMINED to learn all of the things

he’s the first to unmute whenever the teacher asks if the class can see the screen share, hear them correctly, etc.

never takes his eyes off the screen!! he could be missing out on important information

I FEEL LIKE,, i feel like he would totally keep his camera off when he’s muted but whenever he unmutes he would also turn his camera on

so when he says a quick “yes!” his camera turns on but before his camera can adjust properly to the light he mutes and turns his camera back off so his face is just super dark for a split second LMAOOO

tell me im wrong

TENTEN

exasperated by this entire class

thinks her and neji are the only sane ones in the class and it’s true

wants to tell sakura and ino to stop competing and just focus on learning, since they’re the only other girls in the class besides hinata

plus she’s just fed up with all the lazy boys

takes great pride in passing every assignment, test, or exam with flying colors

teachers pet, but the quieter type who stays after every zoom and sends lots of emails regarding assignments and grades and whatnot (unlike sakura and ino who rub it in the teacher’s face)

doesn’t like helping other people besides neji, girl’s got a soft spot for him since they have a mutual respect for each other

but if you’re a handsome prince, maybe she’ll help you out!

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[evermorehaikyuu]

Day 7

Title: The Downfall of Bliss

Note: There is a character death and a mention of blood. The amount of times I changed this, I won’t lie to you. Anyways, here it is, enjoy.

˜”*°•.˜”*°•.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

Only the tears gave me a path to see.

All those years together. Gone. Blown away in the wind. He thought it was his fault and as part of survivor’s guilt, he was bound to think that in the first place. 

How could something so simple end up to her demise? Was he not paying attention? Was it his fault? So many questions and not enough time. He didn’t even know what he was doing at his job if it just made him recall the memories he had with her. 

So many of his old teammates came over to check on him ever since her passing and he put up the mask of both melancholy and trying to move on. But he couldn’t move on. Not when she was the only one that saw him as he truly was. To look for someone else, he felt, would be a disgrace to her memory. Y/N would probably say to move on, that nothing was immortal, his teammates said. Even he believed it, but to move on so quickly or move on at all seemed impossible. The idea of looking for someone else harmed him and he stayed shut up in his house, only going out to go to work. 

Matsukawa never got to say goodbye. 

~ 

Losing to Karasuno hurt him more than anything. At least, up until that point, the loss injured him. None of the third years would ever go to Nationals and they lost their chance. 

The look on Matsukawa’s face was something he himself didn’t want to see. But when he saw Oikawa receiving the ball and the ball didn’t go where he wanted it to go, leading to Seijoh’s defeat, his face went from persistent to sheer horror.

They wouldn’t go to Nationals. All of their training, all of the things that they had done, only to be stopped by the Wingless Crows. 

The aftermath was terrible, none of the third years crying but all of them could see that the first and second years were holding back their tears. Yahaba would be the next captain, but seeing Oikawa’s face made him desperate because he didn’t think he was ready to lead Seijoh. 

Y/N raced out of the stands to meet up with the third years, as she was a third year herself and the pain in her face was all too real. She, however, hid it as she said, “You guys did great.” That was it. She didn’t elaborate because she didn’t want them to explode by saying that it was a lie.

“We lost, Y/N.” Oikawa muttered.

“So? Does that mean you’re going to stop playing volleyball? No! This is one loss--” Y/N started before being cut off by Matsukawa.

“It was our last chance before going to Nationals, Y/N.” Matsukawa said, staring at his best friend for any trace of her armor breaking.

They locked eyes and she replied, “Nationals? Nationals are overrated, it doesn’t determine if you’re good enough or not, I know you’re good enough! Hell, you’re one of the powerhouse schools, this loss is something you can get over. You’ll probably train to be better, this doesn’t mean that you’re to give up now.” 

She had locked eyes with Matsukawa but the rest of the team could feel the power behind her words. It didn’t stop them from mourning; even so, Y/N went with them to the ramen shop and tried to pay, only to have Oikawa say, “I made a bet that if we lost, I would pay, Y/N.”

They all started practicing after eating and it was all going great, fantastic even, until Oikawa said something that immediately caused all of the third years to cry and Y/N brought out her tissues, making the third years smile through the tears. Even if she wasn’t the official manager, she still treated all of them as if she was their manager and Irihata never had anything against it. 

Matsukawa, Hanamaki and Y/N started heading home together, Hanamaki walking off to head to his own house. Matsukawa turned to Y/N and said, “You’re coming over?”

“Well, duh, I don’t want you to cry.” She looked up at him, smiling softly. 

“You don’t need to take care of me, I’m okay.” Both of them knew he was lying. She took his hand while looking ahead and didn’t say anything more. She didn’t need to say anything and neither did he. Those words passed through them silently. 

It was amazing how Matsukawa tried to push her away from him for years, thinking that he wasn’t good enough when all this time, she kept going past the walls he put up to go to him. It was something that he hated and admired before coming to love it. He loved how well she knew him and how he could let down his guard around her.

Matsukawa wished they could stay like that forever, even if nothing lasts forever.

And he would find that out later on in his life.

~

“A funeral home? I mean, as long as you don’t bring any spirits back home, I guess you’re fine.” Y/N joked as she set the table for them both. 

Matsukawa was splayed on the couch, not bothering to change out of his work clothes from exhaustion and one arm over his eyes as he sighed. “Oh, I’m sorry about that, babe, one of them is in the kitchen right now and he says hi.”

Y/N let out a laugh that made him smile. It didn’t matter how many times he heard her laugh, he’d do anything for that laugh. She walked over and lied down on top of him, her head on his chest. His arm immediately went around her waist, pulling her closer. It was the warmth and love from her that made him look forward to the nighttime. The gentle touches, the laughs they shared, the quick but meaningful kisses before work, all of this was part of their normal lifestyle. 

Even then he had never popped the question of marriage. They lived comfortably, it was as if they were already married but he wanted to make it official.

He just needed a plan.

~

Currently driving across the highway, Matsukawa could not help but glance over at his fiancee, having already asked her to marry him about a half hour before and her saying yes. Both of them were extremely happy as they drove in silence.

“Why are you looking at me, love?” Y/N said, smiling at him.

“What? I can’t admire my--”

“ISSEI!” Y/N screamed as she quickly extended her arm to protect him. Even in a life or death situation, she thought of him first.

The car crashed head on with a truck, making the glass shatter and the car started spinning out of control, whirling off of the highway into the forest. Smashing into a tree, the airbags appeared and both of them were unconscious. Everything was quiet.

Matsukawa woke up to darkness all around him and a white airbag in front of him. He groaned as he touched his head, blood appearing on his finger. “Y-Y/N?” No answer. “Y/N?!” He strained against his seatbelt and tried to look over at her and saw that she was knocked out. 

So many things happened afterwards. He ended up at the hospital, questions being asked of him but he answered without care and only asked, “Where’s Y/N? WHERE’S MY FIANCEE?”

“Sir, please calm down--”

“WHERE IS SHE?!” His voice broke at the last word but he tried to get off of his bed in search for her, only to be pushed back. “Please….just let me go to her, please, I just want to see her.”

“Sir...your fiancee didn’t make it. She got blunt force to the head, she died while in the ambulance. We did everything we could but--”

No. No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening. They only had a few years together, she couldn’t have died. No, they were lying to him.

“Don;t lie to me, where is she?” He craned his head as if expecting for her to walk in with a bright smile and saying that she was fine. Nothing. No one came in. His instincts told him to run, to go find her, but even he knew, deep down, she was gone.

He just didn’t want to accept it.

Matsukawa broke down sobbing and wailed for her to come back to him, incoherently prattling that they were supposed to live longer together; this accident was not part of the plan.

Accidents were never part of any plan. 

~ 

He had cleared anything of them both together and stored it in the attic. Everyday, he was told to lie down, to rest and sleep and not think about it. How could he not think about the fact that he basically killed the woman he planned to marry?

As he walked past their shared bedroom, now only his, he saw a picture hanging beside the door. Matsukawa had never noticed it until now. It was a picture of Y/N jumping onto Matsukawa’s back, both of them grinning, his smile lopsided. It was the only picture he had not put away for the sole reason that he didn’t know it existed. Perhaps she had put it there and he never paid attention.

He carefully took it off of its nail and stared at it for two minutes before tears started welling up in his eyes. He fell to the floor, hugging the little frame to his chest as choked bawls came out of him, praying that somehow Y/N would enter through the door and tell him that she was okay, she just went somewhere. 

Even as Matsukawa turned towards the door, no one came in. The woman he loved was gone and he believed it was his fault for not paying attention. His heart was held together by her, she was the reason he looked forward to coming back home. All he wanted to do now was stay at work to avoid the empty house, devoid of her. 

He couldn’t do anything anymore. She was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

Death takes anyone it can. No matter who it is, it’ll always come. Sometimes, it takes the ones that deserve it least and that causes more pain to their loved ones.

~

Taglist: @skyguy-peach​ @jovialnoise​ @versatilewindow​ @tsukiibaka​ @jaegersblogh​ @kodzuken-pie​ @sugusho​ @kara-grayson04​ @erialexerz​ @attixca​ @volleybloop​ @iwantnoizsdick​

[solaneceae]

MY HUMAN!EGOS AU

i got a surge of inspiration and started creating my own versions of the egos! its still a work in progress but i love them to bits and im really excited to share them

JACKIE

grew up in an abusive household, emotional and sometimes physical abuse

parents screamed at each other all the fucking time, father was an alcoholic

Left home as soon as he was able to live by himself (16)

he’s 22 now

poor

trans boi, on T, wears a binder cuz he can’t afford top surgery

lives in an apartment with two roommates: Max, a philipino sound designer and independent musician (they/them) and their girlfriend Nilanjana (Nana), a buff training coach from indian descent

Jackie is in a queerplatonic relationship with them: they cuddle and kiss on the forehead during movie nights and all that cute shit

he has a part-time day job to pay the rent and bills: he gives self-defense lessons

he drinks his respect women juice

vigilante at night. gets hurt a lot. his roommates think he fights in an illegal fight club for extra cash and are worried about him

wants to save people and spread positivity wherever he goes

but he has the wrong way to go about it

basically he does the PMA thing wrong and thinks any kind of negativity is bad and tries to force himself to be happy all the time. 

not healthy, someone help this poor boi

anger issues, undiagnosed ptsd and ADHD

antsy boi! stimmy boi! He’s always bouncing on his feet or humming a tune or fiddling with his hair

aromantic asexual

pure of heart, dumb of ass. seriously, he’s such a dumb, but he does have street smarts

vitiligo!!

light blue eyes, dyes his brown hair lime green

extrovert, loves people

the kind of guy to record himself doing parkour and post it on tiktok

team hot cocoa

for the love of god please don’t give him coffee, he’s enough of a jitterbug already

wants a dog. prolly needs an emotional support one.

plays the drums. Fished a beat-up set somewhere, would like a proper one

fights with his fists and a wooden staff

no special powers, just self-taught fighting skills, natural flexibility and talent at acrobatics and rigorous training

MARVIN

he was born with green cat eyes, the physical representation of his extremely potent magic. parents were freaked out, and basically hid him away

had no control over his powers as a baby, would wreak havoc around him. think Mob from Mob Psycho 100

the upper side of his face was badly burned when he lost control of his powers as a toddler, so he wears masks to hide the scars. the cat one is just the one he wears most often

“hey, nice mask!” “it’s a prosthetic.” “...oh.” (it’s not that bad really, he’s just really self-conscious about it)

he was homeschooled his whole life and generally wasn’t allowed to go out much, so his social life/skills are nonexistent

his parents are famous fashion designers

they’re super rich and travel the world and send him a ridiculous amount of money every month

they say it’s for work but the real reason is that they couldn’t deal with having a “freak” as a son but couldn’t abandon him without getting bad PR

so instead they just took their distance and left him to live in a big-ass mansion by himself as soon as he was old enough (10 years old)

they dont really care what he does. last time they called him was when he was 13

last time they sent him a birthday card was when he was 18

now he’s 24

(and at this point he makes me think of bruce wayne lmao. he needs an alfred)

since he has money and home, he doesn’t need a job, so he just stays cooped up in the property and almost never leaves, he orders his food and groceries to be delivered to him

he’s basically a hermit at this point. and a huge nerd

he tries to use his natural magic as little as possible, (hello trauma my old friend) so he still has flimsy control over it

instead he dabbles into wicca and the occult to do stuff

A bookworm, quite serious, dresses like a hipster art school student. he wears SAROUEL PANTS.

glasses!! Big round rimless glasses!! soft!!!!

long brown hair, messy bun, dyes the tips dark green and purple 

disaster gay

“sleep? what’s that? i only know coffee”

has three cats he rescued himself: Spades, Jasper and Poppy

has a huge greenhouse linked to the main building. he likes gardening a lot, whether it’s for his craft, for cooking or just because he likes seeing plants flourish

HOW THEY BOTH MET / IDEAS AND SHIT

Jackie tried to take on a whole ass drug ring and bit more than he could chew at the time so he got beat up pretty bad. He managed to escape with his trusty grappling hook and swung around a bit before crashing through the glass ceiling of the greenhouse while Marv was tending to his plants, in the early morning.

Long story short Marv is in a panic because a complete stranger (also the only human being he’s interacted with in months) just flopped in front of him and is probably dying and he wants to call an ambulance.

jackie: *beaten black and blue and coughing up blood* jackie: oh hey how’s it goin’ marv: *distressed nerd noises* marv: oh my god who the fuck are you but also are you dying in my house im calling an ambulance- jackie: uh yeah no please dont im kinda doing illegal stuff also i cant afford it marv: marv: wh-

also what if marv calls the family’s doctor since jackie won’t go to a hospital, and it’s fucking Schneep henrik: what the fuck did you do this time marv: it wasn’t me! jackie: your family doctor scares me marv: that’s why they hired him

maybe after that jackie keeps coming to see marv and marv is like “ugh you again-” and he always come to marv whenever he gets hurt, to get patched up by schneep. he broke the ceiling two more times basically they become “hey ron hey billy” vine, its just a habit at this point.

Marv is a rich boi that doesn’t know anything about life. at this point i realize he’s like a mix of Elsa and Rapunzel, and Jackie is kinda Flynn xD Jackie just… aggressively becomes Marv’s friend despite the magic man’s reluctance, and shows him the world. love me some smart grumpy nerd/dumb happy jock friendship

jackie: im your friend now marv: wh- jackie: *drags him outside* LETS GO CLIMB A BUILDING TOGETHER-

Marvin but he’s never been in a grocery store in his entire life because he just orders super expensive pre-made meals to his house or cooks his own veggies, and he’s just amazed at the first one they go to

like “wHAT, IT’S A ROW OF FREEZERS! Remind me to install one of these at my place!”

and Jackie, who just came here for bread and milk, looks at him fondly but also is very concerned. Also he doesnt question marv’s masks, he just thinks they look cool

@tabbynerdicat it’s my bois! @lilakennedy because i know you like those two, and your love for them motivated me to develop them first

[writingformadderton]

Please come back to me💙

Ship: Madderton

Word Count: 1753

Summary: Richard gets a call one evening from Taron after having a fight a few days before. T is driving to him and gets involved in a car accident, which sends him to a coma. Since that day Richard is by his side every day, waiting patiently for him to wake up. The regret not telling Taron about his feelings breaks him, every day a little more. 

Additional Tags: angst, coma, car accident, mention of blood, first kiss, best friends, lovers, comfort, soft, fluff

Based on a request

Richard looks up confused when his phone rings with the special tone he put in for Taron. What did he want now? "Hey," he sighs.

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you…I'm actually driving to you now," T says and stops at a red light. "I'm... I hope I’m not bothering you today," he rubs his face and waits for his best friend’s answer.

"No, it's fine. I have nothing to do anyway, when are you gonna be here?" Rich asks and looks around his living room. It’s all cleaned up which makes him feel relaxed.

"Three minutes or so," Taron says and starts driving again. "Rich, I know I said some stuff that was awful. I wanna make it good again."

Richard rubs his face and thinks back to their argument a few days ago. Taron had been enormously drunk, spilled some secrets in front of his friends and teased Rich because of his insecurities. Since then Taron has been extremely sorry and wants to make it good again. "Taron, it's.. it's okay. We're gonna talk about it."

"I'm sorry, I know I messed up. Rich I-."

Suddenly Richard hears him pushing the brakes and a loud crash. "Taron?" he asks and fear creeps up in him when he doesn't get an answer. "Taron?!" Did he just have a car crash? He ends the call and rushes outside to the car. His heart races when he drives a few streets further and already sees the ambulance.

A paramedic quickly makes sure he knows Taron and then he lets him step into the ambulance. Rich falls down heavily on the seat next to the stretcher where Taron lies, blood all over his face and closed eyes. He's pale which makes the blood look even darker and he moans in pain. T opens his eyes, groaning and turns his head to the side blinking slowly. "Rich," is all he says and Richard hears him.

He doesn't care about the paramedic sitting next to him and takes Taron’s hand carefully into his. "Hey, I'm here."

Taron looks at him with half closed eyes. "I'm sorry, Richard. For everything."

"Shh, have some rest now. We're gonna talk when you're better, yeah?" Rich says and strokes his knuckles swallowing hard.

"I don't wanna die, Richie," he chokes out and coughs, contorting his face in pain. "I don't want to." Tears are rolling down his cheeks.

"Taron, calm down. You're not going to die. We're driving to hospital and-." Richard gets cut off by T bending in pain and moaning loudly before his eyes fall close and his head tilts sideways, his hand sliding out of Richard’s. Rich softly gets pushed away by the paramedic who's telling the driver that Taron is unconscious.

 A bit later they knew it wasn't just Taron passing out. Taron had fallen into a coma and his body had been fighting against it for the last four months.

Rich sits on his bedside and watches him silently. He comes here almost every day since the accident, still waiting for his mate to wake up again. Sometimes he tells him about his day, what he missed or just sits there in silence holding his hand. He often starts humming Taron’s favorite song and it always brings him to tears because it's so ironic--Someone Saved My Life Tonight.

But most of the time Richard is mad at himself. He has been in love with Taron for so long and he missed his chances to tell him over and over again. And now he's lying here, right in front of him and his chance is gone. He doesn't know if Taron will ever wake up again or survive his coma at all, and it kills him sitting there not being able to do anything at all.

"I miss you so much, T," he says and tries to fight the upcoming tears. And once more he buries his face in their tangled hands and starts sobbing quietly. "Please come back to me, I can't lose you. I just can't," he begs and tries to calm down.

Through tears he sees Taron’s beautiful eyes closed, his face without any emotion and his fluffy hair that's a complete mess. His thumb strokes over his cheek while he bites his lip trying to get himself together. He kind of wants to stroke over his head but he doesn't. It feels wrong touching him so softly when Taron’s not present mentally.

  Taron feels like he's trapped in a big dark room. He can't move, he can't speak and he can't think in a straight way. But what the strangest of it all was, he couldn't get out of it. Whatever he tries to do, he can't open the door and get outside to see light again.

He feels immensely cold and left alone most of the time. Sometimes he feels like his best mate Rich is right next to him, like a voice from the outside keeping him alive. He would give everything to be able to hug him and just feel safe and loved in the light again.

He sees the good moments between them all the time flashing by in front of his closed eyes. Laughing and dancing, singing or cuddling. He sees Richard’s deep blue eyes, his always perfectly styled hair and hears his calming voice.

And sometimes he has this tune in his head. It keeps playing over and over again. Someone Saved My Life Tonight. And somehow he knows something is wrong with this dark cold world he's in now. He fights against it, tries to open the door and keeps this song in his mind.

 Richard is at home when he gets a call from Taron’s mum. "Hey Richard, I am so sorry. I know you've been with him today and I-." she starts crying and Richard heart starts kicking in his chest.

"What's wrong?" he asks, scared and feels panic rising in his body. Please say he's okay. He stumbles over to a chair and sits down heavily.

"They think he's gonna wake up tonight. I can't be with him, because of the girls and I wanted to ask if you maybe-."

"I'll be there," he says and Taron’s mother thanks him and tells him to call her. He promises it and ends the call. Tears fill his eyes and he presses his hand in front of his mouth. Could it be possible that he wakes up? The tears start rolling down his face and he starts sobbing again. But this time they are tears of hope.

When he arrives in hospital Taron isn't moving still and he sits down on his bedside. He rests his head on his arms on the mattress and looks at T. "Come on, you can do it," he whispers full of hope.

 He wakes up when someone bops his nose. Richard opens his eyes confused and looks into a pair of blueish green eyes. He jumps up and presses his hands in front of his mouth trying to hold himself together. Tears are streaming down his face and he can't get anything out. He breaks down on the chair sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

"Hey, come here," T says and rolls aside tiredly. When he opened his eyes half an hour ago, a nurse stood next to him and went away to get a doctor. They explained to him that he was in a coma for almost four months. As soon as they left Taron saw Richard sitting there next to him sleeping and he remembered how he told Richard he doesn't want to die in the ambulance. He remembers that his blue eyes were the last thing he had seen. And now almost four months later he was still here.

Richard sits down next to him and tries to control himself. But seeing him awake and hearing him talking is too much. He wraps his arm around Taron and pulls him close. T takes his hand and feels his own eyes filling with tears.

"You're still here? After all this time you're still coming to see me?" Taron asks with a shaking voice and tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Of course, Taron! I was here every day since the accident," Rich answers and now he strokes over his head, running his fingers through his fluffy hair.

"Why?" T asks and his voice cracks. "I hurt you!"

"I love you," Richard chokes out and swallows hard. That was fast.

"What?"

"I'm here because I love you. Like really love you," he explains and looks at him with fear in his eyes. "If that's too much now, I'm okay with that. I-."

"You love me?" Taron asks with a thin voice and sniffs. Richard nods and T feels his heartbeat increasing. "I kept on seeing you when I was in a coma. You, you, you. I love you too."

Rich presses his lips together and rubs his face. "I promise I'll take care of you!"

"I know. You always did," T admits and strokes his cheek. He leans forward and they sink into a salty and wet kiss due to the tears. But it's perfect for them.

"Oh fuck." Rich pulls back and takes out his phone. "Promised your mum I’d call her."

A bit later Taron’s mum rushes in and pulls him into a tight hug crying. Rich leaves them alone and goes for a walk through the corridors. He bites his lower lip and can't believe how lucky he really is. Taron is back and he loves him.

 A few days later Taron can go home and asks Richard if he can stay with him. Rich says yes and so they are lying in bed together cuddling. "Richie?" T suddenly says.

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared." Taron mumbles and cuddles deeper into him.

"What? Why are you scared, love?" Richard asks, concerned and looks down on his golden boy.

T looks up to him and he sees fear and shame in his eyes. "I'm afraid of sleeping and not waking up again."

Rich softly strokes over his head and wraps the blanket close around him. "You don't have to. I'll be here and I'm staying with you. You're not alone, bub."

Taron smiles weakly and nods. "Okay."

Richard can hear him breathing deep and peacefully after a while and he looks down at him a bit scared. But Taron’s expression is completely peaceful, with a small smile on his lips. His lover is just asleep.

@dreamingwolfthings @onceuponadetectivedemigod @primaba11erina @guns-n-marvel​ @shereighties @honkycrowley @multicoloredchicken @sarahegerton96  

[haydnfleury]

Flatline

**MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH DISCLAIMER**

Who: William Nylander, Zach Hyman

Type: Dark Fic

Word Count: 2.4K

Addendum: Title is from the song Flatline off the Hotline Miami soundtrack.

~AO3 Version

 The next morning seemed like any other winter morning in Toronto. Frost forming on the windows from the dropping temperatures, the sound of early morning traffic on the streets below, and the alarm blaring its usual tone. Except, something’s different. Wrong.

 “I love you Zachy.”

 “I love you too Willy.”

 They kissed and held each other closely under the covers, beginning to fall asleep.

 The next morning seemed like any other winter morning in Toronto. Frost forming on the windows from the dropping temperatures, the sound of early morning traffic on the streets below, and the alarm blaring its usual tone. Except, something’s different. Wrong. Zach is usually the first one to get out of bed anyway, but Willy doesn’t seem to have woken up like he always has when the alarm went off before practice- in fact he doesn’t seem to have moved at all from where he was the night prior.

 “Honey?” Zach asks trying to shake him awake.

 Nothing. A little louder and harder this time- nothing. Starting to panic, Zach bursts into the closet digging around for their travel suitcases. After having thrown half of the clothes out, he finds them, and grabs a small hand-held mirror from the toiletries bag. Holding it under Willy’s nose the glass starts to fog up. Good, he’s not dead at least.

 Zach hurriedly throws on some clothes and phones up emergency services, as well as the new coach and several teammates. EMT’s arrive within five minutes of him calling, and rush Willy out to the ambulance, constantly monitoring his dangerously low vitals on the way to the emergency room.

 By the time he was stabilized and Zach was let into the room, the entire team had arrived, bleary-eyed from sleep but still quite visibly concerned. The doctor began to explain that he suffered from a stroke sometime in the early hours of the morning, and that he was stuck in a coma. The rest started to become a blur as Zach got lost in his own thoughts, How did he get a stroke? We’re both too young for-- When is he going to wake up-- Is-- is he going to wake up? Please don’t leave me like this. I don’t--

 The thoughts are interrupted by Mitchy’s hand on his shoulder.

 “Hey, are you okay?”

 When he looks up the doctor had already left, and everyone was looking at him, all with the same question on their face.

 “I. I don’t know,” is all he can manage to say, he doesn’t really know the answer to that himself yet.

 “In light of events this morning, we’ll move practice to tomorrow,” Keefe decides and everyone nods in agreement, “Hyman, take the week off if you need it, I won’t think any less of you if you need more time off.”

 Outside in the ward, they start to hear a growing chatter, and the clattering of equipment. The Media.

 “Oh boy, already? I need to go take care of this. John? Do me a favour and call Kyle, have him restrict the media for injury protocol.”

 And with that the coach goes out and closes the door behind him, and Tavey steps into the bathroom to make his phone call. Zach pulls a chair over to the bedside and sits down, grabbing Willy’s hand. At this point he can’t hold back, lowering his head onto his hand and bed underneath it, as the tears start to break through.

 Mo makes his way over and puts his arm around Zach. Mitchy is suddenly reminded of his own boyfriend, Marty, being suddenly taken away from him when his plane crashed on his way back from the off-season, and starts tearing up. Tys pulls him into a hug and lets him cry into his shoulder. Everyone else in the crowded room just looks on solemnly.

 Zach stays at the hospital for three days. Initially Tavey steps up as captain and visits them first, bringing Zach food each day so he’d remember to actually eat. Everyone else visits in their own time.

 After the third day Zach returns to practice, something to hopefully take his mind off of what’s going on. It works well enough, returning to drills and playing on the first line for games. Focus. Focus on something else. The team. The game. Getting that puck into the net. Focus.

 It’s been three weeks since that cold morning. Zach’s thoughts are composed enough now, and they’re in the middle of a game at home. He’s in a face-off when he sees Kyle entering the player bench on the phone, they’ve been discussing different trade opportunities lately- a Marlie or two for a player from one of the other teams- so he doesn’t think much of it. When the play ends though to an off-side, he calls a timeout. Yeah, they’re losing 5-2, but they’re still in the second period, so they shouldn’t need it yet right?

 But when they all come together, there’s no whiteboards, no iPads, no talk of plays or strategies. Keefe seems to have lost his tongue, shuffling in place, so Kyle speaks up.

 “He’s gone. William. He’s gone.”

 It’s dead silent on the bench, aside from the few who had dropped what they were holding, and Zach’s world seemed to be crashing down along with them.

 “It was about four minutes ago, I had just got off the phone with the doctors. We um, we’ve decided to forfeit the game; I don’t think any of you wants to continue playing now.”

 Nobody seems to have the strength to respond. But they all stand up and make their way down the tunnel to the locker room while Kyle radios to the staff to forfeit, and block all media personnel from the Leafs’ sections of the building. When they’ve all dressed and make their way to the parking garage Zach is the first person to even say a word since Kyle told them.

 “Morgan, can you drive me home? I can’t really think straight.”

 He agrees and, and he’s not exactly wrong. At the moment everything is just noise, bright and blurry colours, and the cold air; he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between 60 km/h or 150 km/h, or a red light on an intersection with a car coming from the other direction. Not to mention the fact he couldn’t bring himself to drive in their car, knowing Willy would never be in the passenger seat again.

 When they get to Zach’s apartment, he fumbles with the keys to get the door open. But seeing their home, *his* home now, makes his stomach churn. He bolts nearly through the bathroom door and pukes his guts out in the toilet. Composing himself, he gets himself back up and washes his mouth out in the sink, as his mind becomes a tempest of emotions: anger, frustration, despair, guilt.

 As he looks in the mirror, the anger takes over and he punches the glass with his hand, cracking it, and drawing blood from his knuckles before he collapses against the wall, bending his legs towards him and crying. The sound of breaking glass had Mo rushing over to see what happened, only to see the shattered reflections, and his teammate in tears on the floor.

 “Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay,” he bends down and then notices the blood, “shit, we better fix that.”

 Having been to their place enough times, Mo knew his way around, and so he dug through the cabinet to find the first aid kit. First examining the hand, then grabbing the tweezers to pull out the remnant shards of glass. Switching to a piece of cloth and wetting it with alcohol, he cleans the wound. It draws a sharp, pained breath from Zach.

 “Sorry, I know this probably hurts like hell,” once it’s cleaned, he wraps it tightly.

 He manages to get Zach ready enough for bed and sits on the couch, figuring he should probably stay and keep an eye on him for a while. Meanwhile Zach tries to sleep, but his thoughts are racing. He’s gone. William. He’s gone. - I love you Zachy. That’s the last thing I ever heard him say… and I can’t ever hear his voice again, or see that smile of his, the deepness of his eyes, his- his- his fucking laugh that could brighten an entire room. - Why wasn’t I there… Why- why him? Why do bad things happen to good people? It- it should’ve been me, not him, never him. I- I can’t- I’ll never be able to feel his touch again, never be able to hold him- I- I-… his thoughts trail off, and he’s whisked away to sleep.

 In the morning the tears are gone. There aren’t any left. Period. In its wake is just emptiness. A void which can’t be filled. Mo had made breakfast for them by the time Zach got out of the bedroom. They eat in near silence, Mo tries several times to say something, but can’t find the right words to say. All he can think of is “I’m sorry,” which the only response he gets is Zach looking up at him before looking back at the food.

 That night, he tries drinking his problems away. Forget. Just forget. It works for a while, but it always comes flooding back in the morning. The time they visited Niagara Falls with the team, when they were on the Ferris wheel together, the first time they kissed literally during a game, moving in together when his lease on the last place ended, all their date nights, the stroke-- he stopped. What was the point if it was only temporary.

 The funeral services had been arranged by Tavey and Kyle, it was an extremely private ceremony, attended by teammates and the bereaved family. Zach was quite visibly a wreck, but no one was really much better. It had shaken up everyone, he was more important to everyone than they had even realized. Zach managed to speak in basic Swedish that he learned from Willy to his family. David [Pastrnak] also showed up to mourn, on the verge of quitting his career in hockey- he just lost one of his oldest friends.

 Within the week, a joint statement was released by Kyle and Keefe about the death, to a shocked nation. Everywhere, from Los Angeles to Halifax, or Vancouver to Miami, almost every major city in Canada was pouring in support and remembrance. Everywhere Zach went, he would see some calibre of remembrance on a poster, billboard, or bus- a constant reminder, He’s gone.

 Cigarettes was the next thing he tried, but to no avail. He had felt the exact same as before after one, and so he threw the rest back into a drawer to be forgotten.

 The team had taken nearly a month away from playing, but had gotten back to it. But it wasn’t the same. You lose a player they’re usually either traded or retired. Their place in the lineup or their stall in the locker room would be changed out, but they’d still be around, just not under the same colours. Not this time. No team would ever have him again. The players just keep moving forward, it’s all they can do, but the thought always lingers in the back of their minds.

 Mo didn’t intend to, but he effectively moved in with Zach until he thought it was fine for him to be alone, besides Gards would keep their place up until then. It never really improved though. Zach would just go through the motions. Get up, eat, practice, sleep. Get up, eat, play, sleep. Repeat. He could definitely still score, and help the team, but the celebrations never had the same feeling. There was always someone missing that would never come back, and be on the ice, be on the lineup. Life had started to lose it’s luster, and nothing changed that. Get up, eat, practice, sleep. Get up, eat, play, sleep. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

 Time didn’t seem to have a meaning anymore either. It could be seconds, days, weeks, or months, Zach couldn’t tell the difference. It was always the same cold, dark world that it was yesterday. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. He’s gone. He’s fucking gone.

 Was there any emotion left? No one knew. Everyone was consoling each other, but Mo, he didn’t know how to help. He’d never lost someone that close to him, Gards was there and waiting for him to come home. He did what he could, but even before starting to talk to a therapist he could see Zach was a husk of what he used to be. Everything was cold. Cold and dark, all of it a blur.

 Mo was already asleep on the couch, and Zach in bed when the city’s power grid failed and plunged the Greater Toronto Area into darkness. Zach walked out of the bedroom and through to the veranda, and sat on the railing. He looked up. Stars. It felt like eons since he last saw them. There’s something. A memory. Faint, but still there. Willy. When they both joined the Leafs in 2016, Zach was lost. It was a new place, new people, new everything. Willy was one of the first people he met. Willy had been to and from Toronto so many times as a kid with his father, he knew the area well. One of the first things they did together was drive out to a spot Willy would always go to. Since he was a kid, there was always this one place outside the city he would go to. It was a secluded little clearing where at night you could see the stars above. They had become friends quickly after that. It felt like centuries ago now though.

 Zach can’t feel anything anymore. He could be falling, but he doesn’t know. He swears he could hear someone calling his name, but it seems so far away and distorted. He doesn’t bother opening his eyes to check, everything is cold and dark, and the world around him is the same, there’s no point to. I love you Zachy. I love you too Willy. He feels like he hears that being said again, but it’s coming from everywhere, and nowhere. Then, nothing. Oddly, it becomes warm, warmth he hasn’t felt in who knows how long it’s been now. He feels something touch him. It’s familiar, yet completely foreign.

 “Zach.”

 Willy. Zach actually has the willpower to open his eyes now. Willy is pulling him up. He feels oddly weightless, and disorientated. He’s on the sidewalk. He tries to look behind to where he was but Willy holds his head with his hand and stops him.

 “Don’t.”

 He stops. By now he notices they’re both hovering off the ground.

 “Are we dead?”

 “Afraid so.”

 Willy moves over to the side of Zach and holds his hand as they both float away.

 “Where are we going?”

 “I don’t know, but I waited for you. Wherever it is, we’ll find out together.”

 “I love you honey.”

 “I love you too, forever and always.”

[markswoman]

touch | njm

relationships require holding hands, soft caresses, and gentle kisses. jaemin can't provide any of that.

pairing | jaemin x reader | angst | 3.5k | mentions of death

an: i guess this is kind of like a twist on the midas touch.. have fun folks especially @najaeminloveclub ♡

Everyone Jaemin touches dies within 24 hours. That's just a rough estimate he's reached. There is no science, no logic behind it. It just happens. Jaemin has never really liked having skin on skin contact with other people - he was just that sort of person. Yet he could never resist a hug from his mother or a pat on the head from his father. Nothing ever happened to them. So when he is told that the boy in the other preschool group who pushed him over yesterday and snatched his juice had gone and won't be coming back, Jaemin doesn't understand. A week or so later a girl with a plait tried to put a daisy chain on his head. He flinched as her cold fingers grazed his ear by accident. Frowning, he threw the daisy chain back at her and stomped away to play in the sandbox. The next day the girl isn't back. But Jaemin doesn't really think much about it. Maybe she's making more daisy chains. Jaemin is sad to hear that another girl also left their class. She shared some of her chocolate chip cookies with him yesterday and he had asked his mother for an extra chocolate bar to give to her. Another two boys are gone. His parents decide that this isn't the sort of area they want their son to grow up in, so they move.

–

His primary school wasn't too bad. He found he liked to run around occasionally but he didn't like the tag games that the other boys played. He'd rather stay inside with his sleeves down to his fingertips and a crayon in his hand. His teacher tries to coax him outside. Jaemin thinks she has a nice smile so he holds her hand as she leads him to the door. A new teacher takes over their class. Jaemin thinks her smile isn't as nice as his last teacher's. –

He starts to feel uneasy in high school. His friend decides to run for class president and Jaemin cheers at the end of his speech. His friend goes down each row of seated students and high-fives them. Jaemin grins widely as their palms meet. Jaemin can't stop crying as the headmaster addresses the entire student body. His friend was hit by a taxi on his way home. He had a bright future ahead of him, Jaemin is told by the solemn headmaster. Jaemin wipes his tears with his tingling palms. No one is his class high fives again. It's a painful memory. – A couple years later, there's a new girl in the year below. Her lips become heart-shaped when she smiles widely and her laugh is melodious and sweet. Jaemin wonders if her lips feel as soft as they look. Many conversations and smiles later Jaemin discovers that her lips are even softer than he imagined. Jaemin keeps grinning as he tries to fall asleep. He's looking forward to meeting her after school tomorrow. But she never shows up. Feeling dejected, Jaemin asks her friends if they've seen her. Apparently she didn't turn up to school that day and Jaemin brows knit in confusion as each of his text messages are left unanswered. The news channel says that a local girl was admitted into hospital last night after a heart attack. The doctors are baffled since the girl showed no previous history of any heart disease related symptoms. It's tragic, Jaemin thinks as he fiddles with the remote. But the remote slips through his fingers as they show a picture of the girl from a smiling school photo. Jaemin recognises that smile too well and suddenly he's tripping over the table in his haste to get to the bathroom. He vomits into the toilet bowl again and again until he's retching and crying and he can't breathe. His mother calls out to him, worry evident in her voice. A dark realisation dawns on Jaemin and he retches again. – Newspaper articles are easy to find online. Jaemin retraces his past homes through the articles; five preschool children dead within a month, the tragic deaths of three students and a teacher at his primary school, friends, strangers, faces he recognised but can't put a name to. His hands shake in horror. But perhaps it's just coincidence? These people may have just been very, very unlucky. How can it be Jaemin's fault? Jaemin who cried when his father stomped on a spider that he was trying to catch and take outside. Jaemin who hated violent games and death. It's not possible. It's a sunny day at the park. The breeze isn't quite strong enough so Jaemin sweats slightly under his long sleeved shirt. It's just an experiment, he convinces himself as he looks at all the faces passing him. An elderly lady leans heavily on her walking stick as she shuffles past the bench he's seated at. Jaemin jumps up and offers her his assistance. The wrinkles around her eyes deepen as she smiles at him. Jaemin smiles back but he can feel his heart thud with anxiety as she grabs his arm. He walks her back to her home, painfully aware of her soft hands brushing his as she places a candy in his hands as thanks. "You're a good boy." Jaemin doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. He decides he would rather not know but his feet still lead him to the lady's house the next day. He knocks lightly at the door but there's no answer. He knocks again. Panic settles into his stomach and he wants to run. He tries the neighbour and explains in a quiet, shaking voice that the elderly woman he helped yesterday isn't answering her door. Ambulances blare too harshly; Jaemin can't hear himself think. A police officer with a beard asks him a couple of questions but he starts to hyperventilate. They try to calm him down but he can't. He doesn't understand, he doesn't want to understand. He wants to rip his bloodstained hands off. –

Now he's 21 and Jaemin lives by himself. He sometimes goes to visit his parents but he thinks it's safer this way. He has been murder-free for 2 years as far as he knows. For it is murder in his eyes; allowing someone to touch his skin, accidentally or on purpose, when he knows they will die shortly after is just as bad as taking a knife and sliding it between someone's ribs. Jaemin's wardrobe is filled with long-sleeved shirts and an assortment of gloves. He has three cats - two were strays he found as kittens, mewling sadly in an alleyway. They enjoy nuzzling into Jaemin's hands and Jaemin laughs at their antics. He occasionally goes out to eat with friends but he thinks it's better to stay at home. It's a little lonely but at least it gives him peace of mind. The sun is shining brightly down on Jaemin's back as he runs to the bus stop. He curses the hot weather, he curses the alarm clock that didn't go off, he curses the bus, he curses the leather gloves suffocating his hands, he curses the curse that makes him have to keep them on, he curses- Suddenly the wind is knocked out of him and he falls painfully to the floor. Looking up he's surprised to see you similarly sprawled on the floor. You get up first, dusting your jeans off before extending a hand to help Jaemin up. "Sorry about that! I guess I wasn't really looking where I was going," you chuckle slightly in embarrassment and Jaemin thinks it's a pretty sound. "Don't worry," Jaemin said with a nervous smile. "I wasn't looking where I was going either." "I guess we both need to see our optometrists! It's nice to bump into you um..." Jaemin laughs and shakes your hand, "I'm Jaemin. Same to you too." "So where's your motorcycle?" "What?" "You're wearing leather gloves in this awful heat; you must have a motorcycle parked somewhere." Jaemin doesn't know how to respond and you chuckle again. "Don't look so panicked! I was just teasing you. They're nice gloves." "Oh thanks." Jaemin thinks you have a cute smile – you look almost catlike. "I wish I had a motorbike though. It'd be better than running after buses." "And running after trains," you add. "Maybe we should start a motorcycle gang." you snort and Jaemin couldn't help but laugh along. "Only if I get to be the gang leader." "I think we both know who wears the gloves in this relationship," jokes Jaemin, raising his gloved hands. Your eyes crinkle beautifully when you laugh. "Good point! I have to go now, but I'll see you around!" you wave and then you’re gone. Shoving his hands into his pockets, Jaemin ambles to the bus stop. He knows he missed it but he doesn't mind now. The image of eyes crinkled with laughter comes to the forefront of his memory and Jaemin can't stop the smile tugging at his lips. Maybe he should get a motorcycle. Jaemin never wants to ride a motorcycle again. The trial run he had at the local store almost resulted in him crashing into the side of the building. They are extremely unsafe machines and Jaemin can't afford to get hurt. Getting hurt would mean going to the hospital which would mean doctors and nurses touching him, assessing damage and injecting medication. So no motorcycles. He's surprised to see you sitting at his bus stop a few days later. You wave to greet him.

"So we meet again!" "So we do," and Jaemin can't help but smile brightly. "How are you?" "I'm good thanks. Kind of bored though," you look hopefully at Jaemin. "Hey, do you want to go grab a drink or something? It's better than sitting here." "I'd like that." Somehow one coffee became several hours of chatting about the weather, cats, politics, music, life. Jaemin thinks his office job sounds very boring compared to you studying psychology but you appeared eager to know more about him. But Jaemin didn't miss the occasional glance you made at his gloved hands wrapped around his mug handle. He prayed there wouldn't be any inquiries into his...."quirks". You didn't ask; instead, you invited Jaemin to hang out with some of your friends that Saturday. Jaemin should have said no, but he couldn't refuse your earnest face. That one meeting became many and soon Jaemin had merged into your group. Jaemin really enjoyed hanging out with them and being with you. It's been a while since he felt so happy. What really touched him was how none of them would press him into removing his gloves. Jaemin didn't have to come up with excuses because no one questioned it. Then you invited them all somewhere for your birthday. Jaemin stares in horror at the bowling alley. He tries to silently tell you that he can't do this, but his new friend refused to meet his eyes. Jaemin could feel his heart sting slightly at the betrayal. "I can't play" he says apologetically to Chenle. "Why not?" the younger is confused but his eyes flickered down to Jaemin's hands. "Um, I can't take my gloves off." "You can't or you won't?" "...I can't." Chenle looks carefully at Jaemin before nodding. "Fair enough then. It's going to be boring if you just watch us play though." Jaemin smiles in relief. "If you guys are having fun then so am I." "Awwwwww," Chenle coos at him. "You're so sweet I might have to pinch your cheeks." He reaches out his slender fingers to do just that before Jaemin dodges and punches him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't forget I'm older than you!" "Alright, alright, old man. Sit down and watch how a pro bowls." Chenle loses the match. Jisung laughs heartily and pats his shorter friend's head, laughing even harder when Chenle frowns. When everyone departs that night, your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes. –

"Go out with me."

Jaemin blinks in surprise. He wasn't expecting you to be so straightforward. He also wasn't expecting you to like him back. "I can't," Jaemin says quietly. Your eyes narrow at him. "You can't or you won't?" "...I can't." "You can't in the same way you can't take off those gloves?" Jaemin swallowed nervously. "Yes." "Do you like me?" "...Yes." "Then I'll pick you up this Friday at 8." Jaemin couldn't stop his hands from trembling. He really shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't be leading you on. He can't have a relationship. Relationships require holding hands, soft caresses, gentle kisses...and Jaemin can't provide any of that. He can't hold you in his arms when you can't sleep, he can't brush the hair from your face, he can't even squeeze your hand to let you know that everything will be okay. As long as Jaemin is there, everything won't be okay. The faster he accepted that the better things would be for everyone. Yet come Friday, Jaemin found himself sitting across from a beaming you in a posh Chinese restaurant where each chopstick was wrapped individually. You talked and laughed until Jaemin almost forgot his apprehension. You reach your hand across the table and entwined your fingers with Jaemin's. Jaemin barely feels the heat from your fingertips through the leather of his gloves. "We can't do this." "Wha-" but Jaemin runs out of the restaurant before you could finish your question. He ignores your calls and texts. When it got too much, he turned his phone off. Jaemin should have cut himself off from you the moment he felt himself falling for you. But now you liked him back and things would only spiral down from here. It was obvious what would happen if he let himself get drawn in, if he let himself even hope for a different fate, because it just wouldn't work. Time and time again he had let himself think that perhaps it isn't him, it never actually was him, it was just an awful series of coincidences following in his wake. So he would accidentally brush fingers with a familiar stranger. But then he'd never see that face the next day, or the next, or the next and Jaemin knew what had happened. What he had done. He'd set his streak back to zero days, don his gloves once more and mourn. But you didn't give up so easily. You turned up on Jaemin's doorstep, your brows creased with worry and frustration. "Why?" Jaemin could tell all the why’s you wanted answered. Why have you been avoiding me? Why can't we do this? Why do you always wear gloves? Why won't you tell me? "I'm not good," Jaemin gulped painfully. "I'm not good for you." "Are you crazy?" you looked at him like he had lost his mind – maybe he had. "Not good for me? You're one of the greatest people I know." Jaemin shook his head, "No. I'm not. Please. Don't do this." "Give me a chance, Jaemin. Please. I know you're scared, but don't be. I've got you. Trust me." He met your eyes. They shone with determination, sincerity and Jaemin wanted to believe them. He really wanted to believe them. "I-" "I like you. A lot. And I know you like me too. We can't let something like this go." Jaemin could feel his resolution begin to crumble; it had already been weakened by years of loneliness. "You'll regret it," he whispered, voice taut with sadness. "Never," and you smiled at him. The same smile you had the first time they met. – He couldn't remember being so happy. Not only were you always on his mind, you were always around Jaemin. Joking, smiling, teasing, laughing, and giving him strength. You seemed to respect Jaemin's wishes and didn't hassle him about his gloves, which Jaemin was deeply grateful for. But you had tried to kiss him on the cheek once. Jaemin had been distracted by a dog chasing a yellow ball in the park, he almost hadn't seen you shift his weight towards him. He had lunged away so fast he fell off the park bench. You had laughed about it afterwards but Jaemin knew it wouldn't rest. "Take your gloves off." "I can't." "Why?" Your voice was dripping with frustration. "I want you to tell me. Please." "I have a skin condition," Jaemin worded carefully. It wasn't strictly untrue; there was something definitely wrong with his skin. "Don't lie to me. I've seen you open your window from outside before – you weren't wearing gloves." Jaemin froze in horror. You sounded more despondent than angry, which made Jaemin feel even worse. "That's a bit stalkerish don't you think?" laughed Jaemin awkwardly. You shook your head, "I was heading up anyway. I just happened to see that...maybe I was meant to." Jaemin kept his eyes averted from your deep, searching ones. He really couldn't deal with this. Things had been going so well; he had even dared to hope that his secret would be left locked and ignored, gathering dust out of sight and out of reach. He could feel himself start to panic, his heart thumping wildly beneath his ribcage, deafening his thoughts. "Is it because you're self conscious about your hands?" You asked gently. Jaemin could feel himself struggling to inhale and his eyes start to prick. If only he was just self conscious. If only. He felt a hand softly grip his arm and your voice hushing his fears down. "It's okay, Jaemin. It's okay. I think I was meant to see that. I think I was meant to meet you," you reached out a hand to cup Jaemin's face. "I think I was meant to help you with this." It took all of Jaemin's self control to lean away from your reach. It was so hard, so hard because all he wanted to do was bury his face into your warmth, your arms, and believe everything you said. You squeezed his arm gently. "Don't be afraid, Jaemin. I won't let you go." "Y-you can't. I can't. We can't do this. We can't." "Why?" Your voice was barely above a whisper. Jaemin made the mistake of meeting your eyes and he could feel himself start to crumble. What if he told you? Told him everything? The truth about his skin, his touch. Told him why he couldn't allow you to touch him. Told about the deaths, the deaths he had caused, just from one touch. But then what would happen? What if you believed him? What if he was so shocked and disgusted with Jaemin and refused to see him again? What if you told the police about Jaemin's murders? And then they would break into his house, take him away to be killed. Or researched on. Masked face after masked face prodding him with needles, taking away everything from him, maybe even harnessing his curse into a weapon. But what if you didn't believe him? What if you got angry at Jaemin for concocting such a story and left him? Or what if you touched Jaemin instead just to prove it wasn't true? What if you died? Leaving Jaemin to pick up the remains of his broken heart. What if you didn't die? What if you were an exception like his parents? What if Jaemin could touch you without any fear or hesitation like he's wanted to do for so long? What if the deaths really were just coincidence? What if you could both lead normal and happy lives, your hands intertwined as you walk side by side? Each “what if” was drowning him, plunging him into each possibility until he couldn't tell which truth was true. Then he felt a soft pair of lips on his. Your hands rested on Jaemin's neck and you pulled him closer, making the choice for Jaemin. The kiss didn't last long and the moment you pulled away, Jaemin felt like he was drowning again. Jaemin pulled you close and kissed you again, more desperate and panicked than before. What’s done is done and Jaemin is too scared to find out what will happen if he stops. Your skin is warm and silky against Jaemin's. Soon more and more skin was in contact and Jaemin felt flames running across his body, under his skin and all he can think about is you. After you remove the gloves, you kiss each of Jaemin's fingers, trailing your mouth slowly back to Jaemin's lips. Jaemin clings to you. Your fingers lie intertwined tightly on the bedsheets and Jaemin leaves small kisses along your neck. You have already fallen asleep, snoring softly with a smile on your lips. Jaemin fights sleep for as long as he can, imprinting the feel of your skin against his in his memory. He's so scared.

When he wakes up, your skin is cool against his.

[atopearth]

Mystic Messenger Part 8 - V Route

Omggg playing this again just brings back all the memories! Yoosung with his annoying suspicion of V and obsession with Rika… Zen’s hilarious narcissistic personality; I loved it when he said if the heroine looks at his photo she better wear sunglasses because he’s too stunning LMAO😂 he always makes me crack up. And omg, Jumin has his own book of quotes hahahaha, that is so funny!! Jaehee slaving away as usual and V hiding things as always. Ray looks exactly like Saeran so I guess it’s him but does he have the same role in this alternate story? I’m kinda into the premise that Zen and them are “A.Is” and this is a “game” that the heroine is testing out. This heroine as usual is so easy to bait and kidnap lolol. But Jumin’s lines man, “I was born splendid” HAHAHA, you can see why Zen is so frustrated with him all the time hahahaha.

Sometimes Yoosung just aggravates me for his strong emotions and naivety. V is definitely wrong for hiding for what really happened to Rika and keeping secrets without asking for help from anyone especially Jumin. But Yoosung constantly blames V for not protecting Rika properly and that’s just really terrible. He’s already feeling like crap over the fact that he wasn’t able to help her and never even knew that things would turn out like this and maybe you can blame him for saying or doing the wrong things but you can’t deny the fact that V loves Rika and always tried his best to help her. Yoosung constantly doubting him due to his ignorance really makes me angry because he’s merely projecting the fact that he couldn’t do anything for Rika onto someone that might have been able to do something for Rika, completely ignoring the fact that V is a person too and that Rika isn’t necessarily a perfect person! He’s so hostile to V that it’s just aggravating. Rika is her own person and she makes her own decisions! You can’t blame V for that!

V and Jumin’s first meeting is hilarious. He crashed his toy car (that’s equipped with an airbag) into V’s house’s wall and then called to ask how much compensation for that would cost typically hahahaha. Such a calm little boy! Little Jumin is so cute hahaha. But I guess it is understandable from Yoosung’s point of view. He’s much closer to Rika than to V and he believes that he understands Rika well, so from his perspective, what he saw and felt of her was who she was and what she showed meant that she wasn’t the type to suicide so it’s hard for him to swallow, especially with the lack of evidence besides V’s testimony. I guess if you think about it like that, alongside with the fact that Yoosung is an emotional person, you can see why he acts the way he does. I just feel bad for V. I guess I wonder (like Jumin does) whether I’m just on V’s side because I like him and can relate with him more. I found it so hilarious that the reason V was Zen’s saviour when his motorbike crashed was because he was actually following him around to get a good photo of him and his motorbike lmao. But it’s exactly because of that, that he could call an ambulance and save Zen’s leg, it would have been devastating if he lost it.

Ray is really Saeran huh? Mint Eye, V, Rika.. Ray’s fear of being abandoned, his disdain for the RFA, they’re all Saeran… But yeah, it’s so nice to hear about Jumin and V’s childhood memories, they were so cute as kids! Hearing about them and seeing how Jumin acts with V, you can really see how much Jumin cares and cherishes V as a friend, it’s really sweet. I think what Yoosung fails to understand about V and everyone else is that, everyone grieves in different ways, just because they don’t show it as much as you does not mean they’re not hurt or that they’ve forgotten. Yoosung is so focused on his own sadness that he fails to understand that the others are sad too but regardless, the world still keeps moving. It’s cruel when you think about the idea that the loss of a person doesn’t really mean anything to the world itself but that’s how it is, whether it be Jumin, Zen or V, they still have things they need to do, and just because they’re not stopping everything in their lives to grieve doesn’t mean they’re not hurt. Everyone needs something to do to redirect their sadness, isn’t that how it is? I know that Yoosung doesn’t like being treated like a kid but sometimes his thoughts, his perceptions and everything, they really are childish tbh… HAHAHA, trust 707 to have hacked Yoosung’s computer and got him addicted to LOLOL!! It was a great distraction for Yoosung though hahaha, Seven is smart!😂

I feel so bad for being mean to Ray, especially when he uses the crying emoji omgg, it breaks my heart😢 I’m sorry Ray! I really like you!! But you’re toxic!! LOL It’s funny that Rika loves and admires the idea of a perfect love that will never change regardless of what happens to her physical form, a love that transcends the human heart, yet she couldn’t believe in V’s heart that produced such emotions in his photos that made her feel like that. In the end, it wasn’t V that was unable to keep it to an unchanging heart but instead herself that couldn’t even believe in the person that never changed. A person who yearns to be loved but doesn’t believe anyone could possibly love her, that to me sounds like what Rika is.

You can kinda see why Rika felt so insecure, I mean she’s got problems already and V’s empty words that lack substance only drove her crazier. Rika must take responsibility for her own actions, but you can’t deny that even though V tried his best, he really didn’t express himself properly to her. He had the heart, the feelings and everything but he wasn’t able to show her how much he really loved her in a way that she could understand it. Him hiding Rika and everything from the RFA… Is still a decision I understand and accept but can’t agree with, everyone is too involved to be left in the dark all this time, I believe they all have a right to know everything and V shouldn’t stop that. I know he wants to protect them and do everything himself but not knowing and not doing anything for something they all care about is disrespectful to their wishes. I’m really happy that V is someone Jumin cherishes so well that even when the others doubt him, he continues to believe in him, I really love the trust they share with each other despite my disagreements.

I guess what Rika needed was someone not so perfect like V. Because V was willing to do anything and everything for her, she couldn’t trust him, since everyone that surrounds her brings her pain in some way like her parents so how could she believe in a person that wholeheartedly loves her for who she is when there hasn’t been anyone that has? Although Rika is very drastic and obviously quite unstable, you can’t help but feel for her that it is hard to truly trust someone that loves you for who you are when you can’t even love yourself or feel undeserving of such love. As someone who understands that feeling, I can’t help but feel for Rika. In the end, her darkness won out because she could relate more with it, something she’s lived with for years rather than another unreliable person that might leave her like her parents and step parents did (emotionally).Especially since V loves her unconditionally, it’s hard for her to believe in a love where there’s no reason for him to love her and do so many things for her. She’d rather he have some sort of motive so that she can understand why he would like her. In the end, it also makes me doubt whether V really likes her or just wants to save her with his sunlight that is attracted to her darkness… But I guess that could be a form of love as well..

Although V blames his selfishness for destroying Rika since what he projected unto her wasn’t love but his own stubborn expression of himself that was restrained due to his fears of possibly being a failure as an artist. She was the only one that could see through his photos the meaning of them all. But just as he blames himself for not understanding her, so should Rika. She failed to understand V himself and his thoughts and dragged Saeran and all these other people into her crazy cult. I’m so mad that Saeran became like this because of her insecurities and problems.

Rika blames V for not being able to save her, but really, the one with the duty to save her was none other than herself. If she gives up herself as she did then no matter what V did, it wouldn’t have connected, which it did not. In the end, we can only rely on ourselves to help ourselves. And for someone like her who refuses help, how can she expect others to save her? If V is selfish, then Rika is the most selfish one because in the end, she never cared about anyone but herself. Whether it be her charity organisation or V, she didn’t do these things for others, she did it to make herself feel good and feel saved. Regardless, it did help others but she also created a great deal of pain with Mint Eye by brainwashing people with drugs, physical pain and words, things can’t balance out like this though, so in the end, Rika needs to understand the gravity of her actions and the consequences it caused to people like Saeran.

Ray has done bad things but I can’t help but feel so bad when I choose the answers that break his heart. Especially when I can so understand the sentiment of wanting to be useful to someone, to be acknowledged, to not be abandoned and to not be alone. Ray is of course an extreme case of this but nevertheless relatable. You can understand why V had to lie that she suicided considering the influence she has over the RFA and how easily she could have manipulated them to Mint Eye if V didn’t intervene..

It’s kinda saddening to see that V’s love for Rika was obsession, but then so was hers in a sense considering what she always wanted was to be accepted and saved, she believed that love could save her so when V’s didn’t and instead illuminated all her insecurities, she went nuts. It’s nice to see V realise his faults for hiding everything and merely projecting his desire to be a free artist/person through his obsession/love towards Rika but in the end, it’s too late isn’t it? Saeran having to be a sacrifice from all this is just too sad… I still think V should have told 707 about Saeran since he had a right to know. But as stated, it’s all too late… It’d be just too painful to 707 if he were to tell him of Saeran’s death now… Sigh, such a depressing route for all the characters this time around..

Overall, I think the route lacked the romantic connection needed between V and the heroine since it was just mainly the heroine trying to support him all the time as he tried to get through the pain of Rika becoming like this and hurting others due ot their relationship problems. But yeah, very heavy and depressing route...