#majority of these idols have been training in some basement since middle school and have been media trainedto death to appear perfect

[lee-sanghyeok]

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[nutty1005]

Xiao Zhan: It’s Your Turn

Translator’s Note: This article comes from VogueMe Magazine 2020 Feb Issue.

Currently, the trend in the entertainment business is to get famous overnight, the statistics dictate everything – a drama, a variety show, a song… all of which could give birth to a super idol, fame, commercial value and opportunities that come along with it. In 2019, the drama “The Untamed”, adapted from an internet novel, became this window of opportunity. This is the story of a young man who received the opportunity. And like other idols created by their era, his fanbase grew immensely, radiating throughout the youth, his name etched in time. All of these simply points to this – it’s now Xiao Zhan’s turn.

1

The summer of 2015, Xiao Zhan had not yet realized that he was going to job switch from the design firm opened by his teacher. The teacher did not feel so as well – as Xiao Zhan left for the talent search variety show, he told him, “Go play, come back to work once you’ve been eliminated.”

The show was called “X-FIRE”, and positions itself as a large scaled youth talent development inspirational show. During broadcast, the description says “16 secretly trained youths painstakingly selected from a few thousand 16-24 year olds”. At that time, Xiao Zhan was 23 years old – nearing the upper age limit.

Xiao Zhan just wanted to “play around a bit”. He felt that he would be just touring for a round, and he would be back after a week. As the former class Cultural Committee Member in his university, Xiao Zhan loved singing, won quite a few inter-school cultural activities awards, but never trained in dance-singing. Xiao Zhan, who graduated in graphic design, learnt drawing since young, but never thought of becoming an artist, because “it is hard to survive as an artist, you still need to earn a living”. He was willing to lead a simple life and go to work everyday, with a direct and clear life plan – as a graphic designer, do his work well, then open his own firm.

The summer 4 years later, the name “Xiao Zhan” meant a lot of different things – a member of a pop group, the lead actor of one of the most popular drama, the owner of a Weibo account with more than 22million followers, or as what Chinese entertainment business puts it – a “top traffic”. The topics and imagery surrounding him includes – Xiao Zhan’s looks, Xiao Zhan’s design talent, Xiao Zhan’s professionalism, Xiao Zhan’s role as Wei Wuxian…

And like the other idols who broke out in this era, he has his own set of records – moderators of Bilibili (a video hosting site in China) nagged that his drama fans uploaded so much of his videos that they “almost see him 800 times a day”, Xiao Zhan was jokingly proclaimed as “The Man who caused the Bloodbath of Bilibili”; he became the cover person of a magazine, and the two mobile sales platform app broke down consecutively on the day of the sales; his popularity in 2020 only got higher – on 9 Jan, according to Tian Mao statistics (TN: Taobao eShopping Mall), the Portrait magazine, where he was the cover person, sold out 100,000 copies in 3 seconds, overall sales exceeding 13million Chinese yuan, a poster was spread all around the internet with the accompanying text “a fandom that brought paper media back from its grave” – this is the Xiao Zhan statistics.

But different from the breakout idols, Xiao Zhan did not encounter major controversies (TN: This was published early Feb), and his career did not seem to go through much fluctuations. He never thought that he would be at this point – “Sometimes you’re not ready, but life has already pushed you to ahead. What you can do is to quickly keep up with the pace.” He is now at the stage where any of his actions are “studied under a magnifying glass”, but he feels that his stress levels are not as high as his previous few years, “the past few years, I had the drive but nowhere to use that, now I know how to work hard.”

2

During the initial auditions, Xiao Zhan still continued to work as per normal, go onstage – sing – leave, which was quite fun. After the selection down to 32 persons, he did not think much of it, and left his work to go to Beijing to practice the dance for the variety show. After the selection down to 16 persons, he practiced everything – dancing, vocals and flexibility training.

He did not think much of what would happen later. The winter in Beijing was especially cold, after the show recording, it would be around 3am or 4am, and there would be fans waiting for him outside of the studio – Xiao Zhan felt quite sorry for them, “All are young girls, it’s so cold and so dark.” He felt surreal having fans. When the 16 of them went to Zhejiang TV “Running 2016” New Year Eve performance, he saw the stage and felt that it was especially big and he was especially happy, and kept making sure he remembered the moves so as not to make any mistakes. After the final battle, Xiao Zhan’s team lost, but he and a few of his teammates were rescued by fan votes.

In 2016, Xiao Zhan debuted as part of X-Nine. During the signing of the contract, Xiao Zhan finally realized that he was going to make a career switch. “When you look at it now, 23 year old is also still a child, but no one took me as a child then.” – Xiao Zhan was the oldest in the group, he made his own decision to sign the contract, he thought that if it did not work out, he could go back to work, there was no need for him to paint himself into a corner.

3½ years after his debut, Artist Xiao Zhan still had to explain to interviewers his obsession with going to work. That day, he had a pimple on the left side of his face, and the makeup artist was applying essences on his face. The makeup room was simply a curtained area in the basement of the Art Gallery, full of passing staff, the editor was discussing the shooting schedule with his manager, the stylist was here delivering clothes, and he sat there with his eyes closed, allowing others to apply whatever it is on his face.

Xiao Zhan’s eyes are long, and also wide, he is very fair and his side profile is graceful and beautiful. With his looks, one would imagine that his personality would be cooler, more introvert, with mild melancholy, like those prince-like male leads in romantic dramas. But his personality does not really match his looks – he is serious, disciplined, he does not talk much initially, but overall he is a relaxed person, and quite funny occasionally.

“A lot of art students do not want to go to work,” the interviewer said. Xiao Zhan learnt drawing since young, some of his happiest moments in his childhood would be to win drawing awards or to have his works praised by his teachers, other unimportant happy moments includes had a good lunch, went to an amusement park, or had a liking for a girl in high school.

“They never went through the society school of hard knocks,” Xiao Zhan said. He described himself as someone who went through “quite a fair bit of knocking”. Since young, his father thought him to be independent, taught him budgeting, and told him stories about Bill Gates’s children… “I wanted to say, god, you’re not Bill Gates.” Despite all these, Xiao Zhan stopped using his parents’ money ever since his university graduation.

Xiao Zhan not only learnt drawing, he also learnt violin, go and Chinese calligraphy… pushed him to study in “National Key” middle school, “National Key” high school (TN: National Key refers to the top range of schools in China). He was an obedient child, but as a standard art student, Xiao Zhan was better in humanity subjects, and his math was not good, hence all the while he had always been the mid-bottom of the pack, which worried his family of 3 quite a fair bit.

Studying graphic design in university, Xiao Zhan felt that his university life was quite comfortable – everyday before class he would adjust himself a bit, although in the end it seemed like it did not work well after all, but at least his results were decent. Xiao Zhan emphasized that he was “definitely not the school hottie”. He was a good student. After he had learnt what the teachers taught, he started a studio on the side. The design studio would take on poster and logo design work; the photography studio only have 3 persons, Xiao Zhan did the photo taking, the other 2 did lighting. Before graduation he went to intern in a design firm, hence it was easy for him to find a job. Within a year of working, his monthly salary was around 4,000 to 5,000 Chinese Yuan, which would quite alright for Chongqing at that point in time.

Being part of a boy group releasing albums, shooting web dramas. The way to do things right was quite different from his previous job – his characterization in the group is a warm guy, although Xiao Zhan did not like characterization, he seriously fulfilled his role, and he was obedient. When someone in the variety show suggested that he lose some weight, he replied “I’m quite thin already I still have to lose weight”. As a commoner, Xiao Zhan was 183cm and 150lbs, his mother would always say he was too thin, and he felt so himself as well. That person showed him the film, “the camera lens is a really scary thing, I literally looked like a ball”. It was not easy for Xiao Zhan to lose weight, so he did it brutally. He was so hungry that he dreamed that he was eating. Xiao Zhan is now 127lbs, but this was not his thinnest.

“How was it like after debut?” “Unoccupied.” (TN: Xiao Zhan used the Chinese phrase “picking at his feet” to describe the state of emptiness.) Xiao Zhan’s words were paced and gentle, most were caught unawares by the sudden switch to casual humor, he might not be laughing, after others laughed he would continue his conversation seriously.

After his debut, he felt that he was freer than the times when he was still an intern. But he did not allow himself to stay free, he took vocal and dancing lessons, making sure that he could do sing-dancing to the best of his abilities. But he was still a bit lost – when he was still a designer, his future was clear and straight, but after his debut he had no clue where his future led to.

3

“I could count the number of dramas I’ve acted in with my fingers,” Xiao Zhan said. After which, he started counting them – “Battle through the Heavens”, “The Wolf”, “Oh! My Emperor”, “The Untamed”, “Joy of Life”, “Jade Dynasty”, “The Oath of Love”… the earliest work “Super Star Academy” was not counted – It was shot with his boy group, he was still fat, and he had no clue what he was doing.

Acting was his own idea. When he started auditioning he had not even attended any performance classes, he saw the director, took a piece of paper that indicated the scene and lines, and just went for it. Xiao Zhan did not feel that it was awkward, it was something he wanted to do, so he would do so without any inhibitions, and grasp every opportunity to do so. Singing was something that he always liked, his first single after debut was a song voted by his fans. With the stage and his fans, with attention, he would always want to do it better. Acting was something totally foreign to him.

The first turning point was “The Wolf”. When auditioning, within 2 hours, Xiao Zhan had tried many roles – the bounty hunter who was threatening someone, the prince whose brother was about to be executed… Xiao Zhan won the role of the bounty hunter – the 4th character on the character roll, Ji Chong. During the pre-shoot training he was still acting in “Battle through the Heavens”, daytime he would be shooting, nighttime he would be having performance classes. He did not feel it was tough then, as long as he had time to sleep. “Work is something I am willing to do, I will only feel very motivated, tomorrow must be done better than today.” Xiao Zhan liked Wei Wuxian, felt that he was vivid. When acting, during the first month he would be second guessing himself everyday, is the portrayal accurate? Would the audience accept it? Xiao Zhan checked with the director everyday. After a month, he stopped asking, he felt that he was Wei Wuxian. Dramas adapted from web novels are rarely positively received, his hopes for Wei Wuxian was that “I hope people would not dislike the character because of my acting”.

The summer of 2019, the drama aired, and the real turning point arrived.

Billions of fans, frequent trending topics on Weibo, appearing on multiple magazine covers and even causing the sales platform app to crash…

He is one of the few artists in Weibo that sets his account as “only posts in the past 6 months are viewable”, but it did not affect his popularity. His interaction with his fans are witty, the statistics are more than enough to attract attention. Last year on the Chinese Valentine’s Day (TN: 7th of the 7th Lunar month), he posted a photo informing his fans that he had put on weight, his pants folded up, legs in the swimming pool. One of his fans replied, “Fine, good to know that your leg hairs are doing fine.” This reply was boosted to the top with 190,000 likes.

“After watching ‘The Untamed’ and ‘Joy of Life’ and then meeting you, I feel like you are very similar to your performance method, calm. You are like an AI, whatever you do you’re especially precise.” “You’re highly professional.” The interviewer concluded.

At the start of the conversation, Xiao Zhan just finished an exterior photo shoot, we were both seated, leaning forward and warming hands above the radiator. He said, “Artist is just a job, I don’t like artists to place themselves on a pedestal, just like today you are the reporter who is interviewing me, today I am someone being interviewed. Cooperation, is just so that we can complete our jobs, coming in for the photo shoot is my job today, every single staff is also executing this job, it’s just the role is different.” Because he went through the society “school of hard knocks”, he respected and understood the truth behind teamwork.

As someone who once had to face clients, he knew how it felt as someone at the receiving end of endless unreasonable requests, and therefore he did not want to be someone like that. His standards for work is consistent – high efficiency, good results, everyone is happy, no one has to serve another person. Also “once I am done I will knock off, after I knock off no one should come find me, let me be alone.”

“Everyone works to fulfill their needs, they have entertainment after they knock off, they have freedom and privacy. As a public figure, artist, the product is yourself, the works are also yourself. You have to output materials, contribute works, and then gain the opportunity to grow, for higher social status, value and better lifestyle. For some people, besides their career, they also included their dreams,” the interviewer said.

“The understanding is very thorough. You win some, you lose some, after becoming a public figure it meant that there are multiple pairs of eyes staring at you, anything you do would be judged. Whether it is positive or misguided. Truth and falsehoods, isn’t this circle just like this? Whether the rumors or the gossip is true or false, who knows?” Xiao Zhan said.

4

On 5 Jan 2020, Xiao Zhan was working in a sculpture garden in Shanghai Songjiang, shooting a series of photographs to be the cover of VogueMe. It was cold, the gallery’s doors were open, and the wind blew from the first floor to the basement. Everyone was wearing winter jackets.

In the morning, beside the metal sculpture on the first floor, Xiao Zhan and model Chen Yu faced the camera separately. As the shutters rolled, they did not exchange glances or touch each other. As the photographer requested the model to sit on the ground, Xiao Zhan said his only sentence to her, “Careful your head.” and used his hands to shield her head from the protruding portion of the sculpture.

That day’s Weibo opening advertisement was also Xiao Zhan. As per the photographer’s request, he tilted his head up slightly and gave a cold gaze, or side glancing a faraway place, but also at the same time, he was smiling sweetly on mobile phone screens, promoting a series of instant food products.

In the afternoon, the team went to the exterior, to a concrete sculpture beside the gallery entrance, where he and the model stood in front of, facing the camera. The arm was on the model’s shoulders, and the two of them looked at the camera – he was even thinner than the model. In yet another set, the staff erected a ladder to one of the rooftop grass patches on the gallery buildings. An ice cold rock slab was selected, which the assistant padded using a jacket, and tested the light levels. After which, it was Xiao Zhan’s turn. He was wearing a red jacket with blue shirt, wearing a baseball cap, lying on his side on the rock slab, supporting his head with his arm. In between shoots, the assisted would hand him a long wool top, with deep blue diamond checks, quite thin. The top was flipped over, he slipped his hands into the sleeves to protect the front of his body, his assistant handed over another water bottle that contained warm mineral water to warm his hands. Xiao Zhan basically did not speak, he placed the bottle on his neck to gain some warmth.

An artist’s job, the profession included losing weight, staying hungry, freezing and staying up overnight, wearing winter clothes in summer is the norm, not drinking water prior to any shoots to prevent water bloating on screen… people who do those well may become famous, if they look good or are lucky they may become even more famous. Now Xiao Zhan has an opportunity, and like his previous job, he chose to be down-to-earth and do it well.

In the evening, the green screens were setup in basement 2 of the gallery. 17:44, Xiao Zhan was in position, his manager reminded the stylist to take note of the clothes’ proportion – “The sweater is too long.” Hence, the sweater was folded up. After the camera assistant brought down the Apple machines, the cameraman adjusted his machines, and started shooting the video. Quite a few scenes were done in one take, in the middle there was a break, the manager and the camera crew were discussing camera positions. This was the 10th hour of the shoot, Xiao Zhan sat behind the table, laid his head on a prop gift box and waited quietly – we could not see if he was tired or not.

The shoot ended, and the sky was already dark. Xiao Zhan has not yet knocked off. The media had ended their work, the manager was darting around, arranging for Xiao Zhan to change out and get on his car, to rush to his rehearsal that night – they were already behind schedule. Both teams bid their farewell, Xiao Zhan warm and gentle, still unclear whether he was tired. After less than an hour’s journey, he would need to go onstage to sing, and thereafter, his work would be to complete the costume testing of 20 different sets of clothes.

The Initial Cold

The time set for the shoot was 9am, Xiao Zhan arrived at the rural set at 8.30am. His overnight flight arrived only the day before, meeting Xiao Zhan on the cold morning of a deep southern winter, his spirits looked great, his face having the same kindness as usual. The endless job schedules taught him how to conserve his energy – no casual conversation, not even to his staff; take every opportunity to eat or rest; absolutely no procrastination, ensure efficiency, do his best to accommodate and complete every job. He is a highly disciplined and professional artist.

In this shoot, the warm, gentle smiles have been replaced by cold, sharp glares, the metal and concrete sculptures gave him a few minutes of inner emotions and narrative, his scenes with the model was almost like he was acting in the set of “Last Year at Marienbad”. Xiao Zhan displayed emotions and charm very different from usual self – this is the power of an actor. The darker filters and monochrome imagery restored the caution that the youth of his age would have, it was the concealed feelings of a sunny boy. With such an idol, not only he can warm your hearts, there are still much to expect from him.

[gyujeongfmd]

restructuring task 1 / changes *+10 ecp

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background. (wc / 297)

if the spectrum lies in minjung not changing at all, and taejin doing a 180. then, gyu’s right in the middle. there are a few changes — one being that now he dances, and he’s no longer a main rapper. but the dancing portion isn’t something he trained on or necessarily has a passion about, but instead something that comes instinctively to him? he’s the opposite of a 몸치 aka he is the opposite of not having any sense of rhythm. that kind of stuff comes natural to him, and even when he was underground inside his hyung’s apartment — his dancing was above average for someone who’s never had a dancing skill. however, that becomes polished once he enters gold star.

another change is that he’s at gold star now — it came about when he tried to audition for show me the money as a young child, but instead got recruited (all thanks to his looks. but turns out he’s more than a pretty face). this meant he trained under gold star and they promised him a bunch of things? he believed it because he was still naive, and under the thought that he’d find some freedom by debuting as an idol (he had no idea what idols did prior to this, or a bad general understanding).

i’d say his general change is his attitude towards his group? knight was more focused on him not liking his group at all, but with platinum he feels in a way sorry though he doesn’t outwardly show it. there’s some sense of brotherly bond but not enough to tether him, but also not far off that it brings him to completely leave. as a result, he’s in limbo about how he is — still grappling with that one day at a time.

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group? (wc / 259)

compared to bc, gyujeong likes gold star. at least, enough that he doesn’t outwardly want to start a smear campaign about bang sunyoung like he did with kim byungchul. that being said, he doesn’t really like the company either — the noonas that recruited him promised everything and for a while, when he was a trainee he did get good treatment compared to the half basements he was living in with his hyungs. however, he debuted and he realized that this was all bullshit — everything they promised was gone and done especially when the songs he releases are complete shit and they rarely let him take a hand on it. (well, that’s because of his punishment).he realizes now that there’s no freedom in debuting, and a bit too late. it’s hardened him to the point where he blames gold star for his big downfall of being this new persona he wasn’t when he was a child.

as for his group? he doesn’t hate his group nor does he love his group either. the music they release, he thinks is corny for the most part — especially the ballady nature. however, he feels somewhat sorry for dragging them down in a way? he feels the shit they get is mainly because of him, and he feels some loyalty to his group especially because they’ve picked up on where he’s fucked up in the past. he’s still not letting them be all blood brothers, hugging and saying ilysm! lylas! but he’s learn to grow with them, and just take it as is.

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract? (wc: 303)

gyujeong renewed his contract with gold star in 2018. honestly, he knows why he did it. but he regrets it to a degree — half of it, i’d like to say is the gold star pressure. they pressured him, basically giving him the lines of ‘what are you gonna do now? you have no career outside of platinum.’ which was true considering he had 0 solo opportunities back then. he was 26 at the time, so he was aged so even if he wanted to make his debut as a rapper, it’d be hard since he was getting so much shit for selling out to be an idol to begin with. plus, public hate surrounding him at that point was a high, and gold star basically made it like they were the only option to save him — his 26 year old ass was scared on the inside, as much as he hates to admit. as a result, he signed on for another year thinking he didn’t want to retire because what skills did he have to offer? he didn’t graduate high school, he didn’t go to college. he makes music, but if gold star decided to black list him then he’d be fucked with a 0 person fan base.

another reason he chose to sign on was because of his group. this is unknown but deep down he felt sorry for the shit he caused within his group — and seeing as how his group all signed on, he felt some sense of responsibility to carry on, especially because they’re a four person team. one person lost is 25%, and that’s a lot when you have more groups in the horizon waiting to take over whatever niche platinum is in. 

so, all in all, he signed on bc he had no choice / kinda felt guilty.

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations? (wc / 324)

gyujeong doesn’t have many goals at all — at this point, he’s given up having any goals within gold star because he feels he’s been fucked over by them one too many times. he got a solo? which was great, and oddly well received by the public — but he also thinks those were pity listens, and not worth much. doubts it transfers over if he came back (he kinda cares). but realistically, his goals might be to release another album in the future? 

right now, his attention’s on fashion though. he’d like to get more global recognition for his line, far from the asia target market. he’d want to be known with the greats (that’s just wishful thinking lmao). but it’d be nice to house a fashion week set, or go at least. he’d want to carry on his relations with chanel because he truly loves the brand and everything it stands for.

motivations? he has none. he doesn’t know what love is, has basically no friends and a cat. he’s living life day by day and seeing what becomes of it — ideally, what he’d want to really have as a goal is to find happiness. corny, i know. but the happiness he once had as a child (void of any parental figures).

i’d suppose his goal right now is to stop writing music based on what his company wants. they know the tracks he touches usually are generally better received than the public, and because his ‘ban’ aka punishment for getting into scandals is over (ala a solo debut), gold star seems to want to make him use his creativity for platinum’s tracks. however, he doesn’t want to be a pack mule and wants to start creating music for the sake of him — basically, he’s exhausted from his solo debut doesn’t know if he wants to make a comeback at all or wait another ten years or just retire completely.

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future? (wc / 329)

he’s at a low — he has no real friends, minus hidden figures here and there. he has no music left on the table that gold star seems to want (they always tell him last minute and pick the songs he doesn’t want to release). he basically got told off by someone he loved to get over it — he has nothing left. he’s a dramatic little bitch, but what can i do? 

he’s dealing with how to handle these things one by one. 

career wise — he’s doing a lot in fashion? and that becomes a piece of confusion when he neglects music for fashion and gold star wants something released, and they can’t because gyu hasn’t touched logic or ableton in near months prepping for the next line of his work. he does it when inspiration hits and works at his own pace. then again, he can’t? because he has the guilt of having to carry the burdens of his past he doesn’t let show. it’s a recipe for disaster when it all brews internally and he doesn’t let it out and instead runs to different avenues for escape. 

he doesn’t know what he wants. he just wants to live life like kanye, but knows that he can’t because he’s not kanye.

he’s also dealing with the conflict of being pigeon holed into one genre. his earlier works focused more on being true to himself, and his core — into the new world, empty. etc. the more sentimental ballad-esque pop songs were when he was more carefree / optimistic about the world. however now, he’s been more hardened? and the scandals have left him more contained as to what gold star would let him do — aka, keep up the bad boy image the public seems to know him for. as a result, he’s not able to venture out or get back in touch in fear of what others may think / his underground buddies may think

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why. (wc / 384)

gyu’s established career claims fall under three categories — variety, modeling / fashion, and music. musically is the easiest as he’s released his solo album after ten years, lmao. i like that he hasn’t touched music in ten years just because gold star hasn’t let him release it — they finally let him off the leash after so much despite letting him work behind the scenes. behind the scenes, they let him work on a lot of things. his overall mood / 감성  when it comes to music is just that it’s soft and sensitive — hence why his first piece is into the new world. you’d never expect it to come from someone like him, but it’s really just the soft gentleness that’s part of his core hence why it’s one of the melodies closest to him as an individual. aside from that, he works on a lot of darker equinox tracks because that’s what his vibe is lately, and it’s that house clubby r&b funk that works with him, and gold star likes that enough to keep asking him for it. he’s worked more in-house than out-house, and not really looking to branch out into any territory. he just wants to make music for him : )

modeling / fashion wise — chanel picks him, and he picks chanel. a matchmade in heaven when he sports their bags and their tweed jackets like no other. it’s enough that chanel inspires him to create his own line otakgyu which he’s heavily involved with. that’s his focus for now, creating new pieces to appeal to his own fashion sense. he wants to create more pieces that are “edgier’ but also fall more into the androgyny of fashion. 

lastly, variety. he doesn’t even know how he ended up in this — yet, each time he appears on variety, more fans fall in love. i like to think of it like song mino and how stupid he comes across on variety which basically shatters his stage image of being more ‘hardcore’. aka, the public likes how goofy and silly gyujeong gets (unplanned and completely candid) on variety. it’s why he shows up and why gold star signs him up. gyujeong, on the otherhand, finds it more of a nuisance and an invasion of privacy as that’s one side he’d not want to reveal. 

[loxare]

A Talon By Any Other Name

Chapter 7 - Getting to Know You

“Wonderful. You're awake.” Dick beamed at the dry British voice. Every time he heard it, it was followed by cookies and a general feeling of calmness. In the Court, it had been calm any time he wasn't on an assignment, but it was a tense calm. Like the calm before a storm. Agent A was the calm after the storm, when you knew everything was going to be ok now.

As usual, there was a tray full of cookies in the butler's hands. Unusually, there was a glass and a paper cup full of pills as well. “Here we are.” Hood made a tentative grab for the delicious-smelling treats. He'd always been grabby about food. But Agent A gently slapped his hand away. “None of that now. You must have these first.” He held up the paper cup and a glass of water.

Hood was instantly suspicious, recoiling as far back into his pillow as he could. “What is it?”

“Nutrient pills. We attempted to get you on an IV drip, but you continually pushed the needles out. And your blood work was severely lacking in several essential vitamins and minerals.”

There was something about Agent A that made a person instantly want to obey. Batman had obviously built an immunity, and Red seemed to be well on his way, but luckily, Little Wing was new to the butler's no nonsense demeanor. Demurely, he took the cup and dry swallowed the pills. Dick couldn't really tell, because of the mask, but he was fairly sure Agent A rolled his eyes at the action.

He pushed the glass closer. “And the water young sir. Then you may have your cookies.” Dick had to say, he'd never seen something disappear that fast. Hood had gotten the entire glass drank in one gulp.

Satisfied, Agent A maneuvered the tray so it was sitting on Hood's lap and the Talons dived in. They were still eating, savouring every bite, ten minutes later when the Batmobile pulled into the Batcave. Those were the terms now. As soon as he figured out how, he was hacking into the Batcomputer and changing them there.

Red Wing bounded into the medbay as soon as he was showered and changed, as he had been for the past few days. When he saw Hood, his face covered in crumbs, chocolate chips, and raspberry jam, he broke into a smile. “Hood! You're up!”

“Yup. Not dead yet squirt.” He bit down on the last bite of cookie, ignoring the napkin Agent A was not-so-subtly holding out in his direction, choosing to wipe his face off on the back of his hand instead. “So, how've you been since the last time I tried to kill you?”

“Nice try. You never tried to kill me. You were training me.”

“Ah! Little detective, this one!” Hood grinned, and Dick mirrored the expression. His little brother didn't seem to have any bad side effects from Joker's attacks. No brain damage. That was good.

Red Wing's smile dropped into a serious frown. Dick followed that one too, knowing what Red was going to ask and showing silent support. Even though they were Talons, Red idolized them a bit. Probably because of the no-fatal-attacks thing, but probably something else too. “Why? You had plenty of chances. But you never went for a death blow. Not even a maiming one. Why?”

Hood blew out a breath of air. “Right to the heavy question, huh? Alright. First time I ever saw you, you were talking some druggie woman down from a ledge, saved her and her kid. I checked on her a month later. She'd gotten checked into rehab. Her kid was doing well in school.” He scratched at the back of his head. “Dick tell you how we can get memories back sometimes? Just random, out of the blue ones caused by some trigger or another?”

Red Wing nodded. “He got a memory the first time he saw you.”

Hood's eyebrows flew up. Dick frowned. Had he never told... Nope. He had not. Oops. Giving him a Look, Hood continued. “Well, watching you talk to that lady that night gave me one too. Some blonde woman, maybe my mom. Maybe not. I was reading to her. There were needles everywhere and her eyes were all glazed. But sometimes, she smiled.” His eyes were faraway. Dick was listening intently, and he knew Red was doing the same. Anything Hood could remember was a hint as to who he had been. “You were so kind to that lady on the roof. And I thought, maybe, if my mom had had someone to check her into rehab, if she'd gotten clean, I wouldn't have gone to the streets. I wouldn't have been Talon.”

He snapped back to reality and flicked Red on the forehead. “You kind of sucked though. Any Talon could take you out with both hands behind their back and blindfolded. You had a job to save people and you couldn't do it if you were dead. That's why.”

Rubbing his forehead, Red nodded. “Thank you. I'd been wondering.”

“Well stop it. It'll give you little creases that will never go away.” Intent on being annoying, Hood rubbed his thumb between Red Wing's eyebrows, trying to erase the crease there while Red protested. After a moment, Dick joined in, pulling Red's mouth into a smile. “Frowning is bad for you Red. Lighten up!”

“Let go you guys! Stohahhaap!” The last word was severely distorted by giggles when Hood gave up on the seemingly-permanent crease and started tickling the poor little crime fighter. After a particularly fierce chortle threatened to take one of Dick's fingers off, he moved to tickling too. Fingers were a pain to regrow.

“What's going on in here?”

The sudden, stern, Batman-voice had all of them freezing in place. Slowly, they turned to the door, Red still hiccoughing a few snickers. Dick pressed his mouth into a straight line. “He is much too serious for his age. He has way more growing up to do before he becomes a broody tower of darkness like you.”

Hood nodded. “Small children need to smile Bats.”

Ignoring Red's protest (“I an not a small child! And you're not much older than me!”), Batman just glared at Dick, who glared right back. Probably not a good idea to glare at the guy who had decided yesterday that he wouldn't put them in the little cells the Batcave had for some reason, but it needed to be done. “Now if you'll excuse us, we were in the middle of something important.”

Hood got in first, grabbing a very ticklish spot on Red's knee, producing a startled yelp from the boy. Dick went back to focusing on his sides, Hood on the bottoms of his feet. Dick wasn't sure, but he thought he saw Batman smile, shake his head, and turn to leave.

Red didn't escape until twenty minutes later when Agent A walked back in with a new batch of cookies. That man really had the best timing. “Alright Master Dick, Master Hood. I do believe that Master Red has had enough for now.”

Tim jumped. Master Dick and Master Hood...? But Alfred only ever called people he considered family by that title. People who belonged in the Manor. He caught the butler's eye and received a knowing smile in return. So Alfred saw it too?

It had been a bit slow, but Dick had managed to very much incorporate himself into life in the Cave. Any time he wasn't watching over Hood's bedside, he was helping, teaching Tim new moves, showing Bruce how he could use acrobatics to climb buildings faster than even a grapple, helping Alfred dust the computer. Or sometimes making a nuisance of himself, hopping from stalactite to stalactite and scaring the bats, taking naps on top of the computer screen, hanging from the car's platform to startle Tim when he jumped out at the end of a long night. Hood himself had been awake for less than an hour, and he'd already impressed Alfred with his hearty appetite and willingness to pull the ever-serious vigilantes out of their brooding.

A day or two later, once Alfred let Hood get out of bed officially (and after he'd snuck out at least six times), Hood had managed to work his way past the Bat's very impressive walls. A good majority of it was hiding in the stalactites and jumping out to startle him (which never worked) and spotting things in cases that Bruce and Tim missed. For example, one of Riddler's riddles had involved a classical novel, one Bruce had read, but not often and not for a long while. Hood had the entire relevant passage memorized.

By way of explanation, Hood just waved a hand. “I was sent to pick up a delivery from an Owl's house. I may have made off with a book or six as well.” At Dick's raised eyebrow – because really, how did he manage to get away with that? – he grinned. “They were the dusty ones, in the very back of the library. He probably didn't even notice they were gone. That's where I got most of my books. Deliveries. Read them a hundred times, at least. Never took any from any assassination assignments though...”

Soon after, Tim found himself browsing the bookshelves in the study, trying to find something Hood might like. All four books were finished in two days and piled neatly on Tim's workbench. After a half hour, he looked up to see a pair of teal eyes peeking at him longingly from the far end of the table. With a sigh, he stood and walked up the staircase, pulling off his mask as he went.

Bruce, in his usual paranoid fashion, had installed a fingerprint and retina scan, as well as a vocal key, to the door. To keep the Talons out, he said. Tim just smirked and shook his head. Neither of them had shown any interest in going upstairs, although Dick did start waiting at the bottom of the stairs every time he heard someone open the clock.

The study was empty. So was the rest of the house actually. Bruce had gone to a Wayne Enterprises meeting and Alfred had driven him. So it was just Tim and the secret basement of Talons. And apparently, as he grabbed another book off the shelf, someone else. He heard their breathing beyond the door, but there wasn't any time to hide or react. The door burst open and Tim let out a strangled cry as the assailant tackled him, then another as his head slammed into the desk. Dazed, he could barely follow the intruder's conversation as he spoke into a walkie-talkie.

“Yeah, alone, just like you said. ... Nah, I didn't have any trouble breaking in. ... That code the Court gave you really does work on everything. Easiest kidnapping I've ever been paid for.”

The conversation was cut short when the clock burst open. Thankfully, the kidnapper had his back turned as Hood shouldered his way past the magnetic locks and Dick flipped into the room, landing on the guy's head. He went face first into the same desk that Tim had landed on, going unconscious instantly.

Dick gathered Tim in his arms while Hood hogtied the intruder. Then they raced back down the stairs, pulling the clock closed on Tim's insistence. Before Tim could get his bearings, he was sitting in the medbay, with Hood stitching the cut he didn't even realize was bleeding while Dick tried unsuccessfully to call Bruce on the computer.

“Ok, I got nothing. Hood, you still haven't fixed your shoulder?”

“It's fine. Just dislocated. It'll heal.”

“It'll heal faster if you fix it. Red, how do you work this thing?”

Later, Tim would blame the head injury for this. At the time, it seemed like a spectacular idea. “The passwords are 0527DC1939, 0437DC1940, 0416B1943, 03357B1983, 08436B1989, 08647DC1992, and 09655B2006. Batman can be called on the third icon down.” He faded in and out of consciousness, only hearing brief snatches of conversation as Dick relayed what happened.

It was almost like his brain was taking snapshots instead of video. Click. Dick was by the computer, Hood was leaning close to inspect the stitches. Click. He'd fallen over. Hood was picking him up. Dick was rushing over. Click. They had pushed a bed so it was against the wall. Click. They had sat him up and put themselves on either side of him, to keep him from falling over again. Click. They had both fallen asleep. That sounded like a good idea.

Meetings were long and almost always uneventful. This one was one that Lucius could have taken care of by himself, but the board members insisted on his presence. Of course finances were crucial, but this was beyond him, let alone his facade of idiot billionaire playboy. And it was boring. Fighting crime was simultaneously more interesting and more fulfilling.

No, that wasn't quite right. Wayne Enterprises employed thousands of people. Money was donated to charities which he used to fund the criminals who were more desperate and down on their luck than the hardened thugs he normally encountered.

Bruce truly believed that his charities helped those people. The ones who turned to gangs or petty crime so they could feed their little ones. It was largely in part to the Wayne Foundation. Not to mention his own night time activities, which were not as promiscuous as the board wanted to believe. Of course, he normally had a good sense of which person he encountered was a criminal and which one was just desperate.

His phone rang, jostling him from his not-related-to-finance thoughts. Hiding his relief with a look of annoyance, he gestured to the board to continue. Stepping out, he pressed his phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Ah! I got it to work. Hood, it's working!”

“I can hear that Dickie. Just tell him what happened. Whoa Red, stay upright. I need to bandage this.”

And now Bruce was freaking out a bit. Bandage what? And how had Dick gotten into the computer? “Talk. Now.”

“Right, right. So Red was upstairs getting Hood more books and we heard him scream. Once, and it was probably just him tripping on something. But he screamed twice and we got all worried. So we broke your door and there was a guy and Red was lying on the floor bleeding a bit from his head. I knocked him out and Hood tied him up and now Red is getting stitches and I thought you should know.”

Bruce sighed and rubbed his eyes. “He's alright?” From the sound of things, he was, but Bruce wanted to make sure. He started towards the elevator. He'd give his apology to Lucius tomorrow.

“A little woozy. He probably has a concussion.”

The elevator door closed behind him. Pressing one of his shirt buttons, he temporarily shorted out the camera. And now for the second important question. “Did the intruder see the Cave entrance?”

“Hm? No, he had his back turned when Hood bashed through. Speaking of, Hood, fix your shoulder or I'll fix it for you!”

“Fine!” There was the distinct crack of an arm going back into its shoulder socket.

And the third question. “And you saw the room upstairs? Any notable objects?”

“Oh yeah. There was a desk, and a bunch of decoration stuff!”

“And wall to wall books. Tell him about the books Dick!”

“Hood says there was books.”

“That was the least excited mention of books I have ever heard.”

“That's because it's not exciting.”

Before Hood could reply, Bruce barked, “Focus!” The elevator dinged, and he swept his eyes across the room. Spotting Alfred speaking to the receptionist (a lovely young woman, sir, she wants to go to Yale next year), he waved him over. One last question. “Do you know why the man was there?”

“Yup. Heard him just before we broke in. The Court sent him he was going to kidnap Red.”

“WHAT?”

“No idea why. Maybe we'll find out later? Ah, who am I kidding? You're Bats! You'll figure it out.”

He would have preferred a concrete reason, but this would have to do for now. “Keep an eye on him,” he meant Tim, but he couldn't tell Dick his name, and calling him Red while there was twenty or thirty people in ear shot would be suspicious, “I'll be home in half an hour.” He hung up, and turned to Alfred. “Someone went after Tim today, but whoever it was clearly wasn't expecting our guests to be there. Tim likely has a concussion though.”

Alfred sniffed, holding the door open for Bruce. “Some people have no sense of decorum. Entering a person's house while they're away is the height of poor taste.”

Giving a short laugh, he smiled at his lifelong friend through the mirror. “Indeed it is Alfred. Now let's see how he's doing.”

The ride home was definitely a half hour according to the clock on the dashboard, but it felt like so much longer. As it wore on, Bruce felt something unfamiliar creep up on him. He was trying to shift through every possible culprit who could have gotten past the Manor's security, but his focus kept slipping sideways to Tim. If he was alright, if he was scared or worse, if this was so in the norm for him that he was simply used to it. Maybe making him Red Wing had been a bad idea. If he hadn't, he wouldn't be getting injured on a regular basis. Actually, if he hadn't taken Tim in in the first place, he wouldn't be getting targeted by unknowns. And that wasn't his only failure. He should have kept a better eye on Dick, that day at the circus. Should have gone up and comforted him right away instead of looking for clues as to the murderer's identity. If he had, the Court might not have grabbed him. And Hood had dislocated his shoulder?

“Oh, do stop worrying sir. I'm sure Master Tim is fine.” The curt voice cut through his thoughts.

“I'm not worrying. Am I worrying?” Was he worrying?

Alfred gave him a wry smile. “It appears so Master Bruce. Fret not. It's natural to worry about your children when they're injured.” Children? It made sense for Tim, he supposed. He had adopted the boy after all. But he'd been worrying about Dick and Hood too.

Bruce was saved from having to reply by Alfred pulling up to the front door.

Leaping out, he pushed open the door, already standing ajar, and raced down the hall, to the study. As promised, there was a thug lying on the ground, thoroughly tied up and unconscious. As a precaution, Bruce lifted the man and tossed him into the hall. Alfred could call the police on this one.

He opened the clock, noting the broken magnetic locks, and took the stairs two at a time. He raced through the training room, the main area, and the garage (complete with boat, plane and motorcycles), before he remembered the medbay. Hood had been stitching Tim's head.

And there they were. Sitting on a bed parked longways along the wall, each of them fast asleep. It surprised him a bit when the tight feeling in his chest lessened, not just at the sight of Tim's general health (head wound not withstanding), but also at Dick's and Hood's. Grabbing a blanket from another bed, he covered them and turned to leave, flicking off the lights as he went. He had to speak to Alfred about some guest rooms.

It wasn't until a few hours later that he noticed someone had altered all his equipment records. The “Batmobile”? What?

AN: Another happy chapter! Yay! I don’t know if you noticed, but I am working very hard on getting these out by the end of this week and not forgetting.