#mair'on headcanon

[animatorweirdo]

Imagine Mairon manipulating you to his side.

(So I might have slightly turned this into Celebrimbor x reader x Mairon. Sorry if that’s not what you wanted, but the idea expanded a little. Also, sorry, I might have turned this darker than expected, but I hope You still like it. Be aware of the warnings thought,)

Requested by Anonymous

Warnings; Please be warned! There might be triggering things in the end which includes manipulation, stalking, creepiness, gaslighting most likely and a bit violence. Sauron is a brick in this. So read on your own accord. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------- -You thought you could forget the past, leave it all behind and forget it ever happened. 

-Why would you linger in the past? Your master was gone, and everything got destroyed in the war of wrath. 

-Angband was no more, and you had no idea what happened to others.

-There was nothing for you, so you decided to leave and live among the people as a nameless nobody. 

-You were just another elf, going on with their day, doing work and sleeping whenever Tilion shone brightly in the night sky. 

-You were just a silent weird neighbor nobody thought about much. 

-You were happy with it because no one would then try to pry into your life and discover you used to be a servant of Morgoth. 

-It would most likely end up badly for you. 

-You sometimes wonder when things were peaceful, and you willingly served Irmo in his gardens. 

-Irmo was never a terrible master like how Melkor made the Vala appear to others. 

-You wonder if he was still angry for what you did or disappointed when you deserted the blessed realm and became one of Melkor’s servants. 

-You didn’t know, and after everything that happened. You didn’t want to know. 

-You were too afraid to face Valar's judgment for your actions. 

-You were a coward. You have always been a coward and honestly not proud of it. 

-You tried to move on with your life. Go to work, go home and occasionally meet people. 

-It was boring at first, but you soon learned to find beauty in things and appreciate the peace. It was better than the metallic bangs of hammers and screeching of orcs you used to hear in Angband. 

-Interacting with the children of Illuvatar was troublesome at first because you couldn't stop thinking about how you were used to killing them upon your master’s request.

-Honestly, you never thought lowly of them like many others of your kind. Elves were troublesome during the first age because of the Silmarils. Everyone went crazy for them. However, they had their qualities. Humans were not much like the elves, and you pitied them when they were easily swayed by false words, but at least some of them were good. You don’t have much opinion about dwarves, but you admit they were a talented bunch. 

-You didn’t make many friends, and you didn’t have any motivation to befriend anyone. You did manage to befriend a human child who was a neighbor at your place. You technically started looking after them since the parents constantly fought.

-You never understood why humans were so careless toward their younglings. 

-One day, during a little walk with your little human. You were doing nothing but talking about life. 

-You came to a garden and dozed off for a moment before hearing something fall into the water and the little one yelling for help. 

-You quickly went to help them out, then another elf appeared and helped the child out of the deep fountain. 

-When the child was safe, it didn’t take long for you to recognize Celebrimbor and awkwardly stumble with your words as you tried to thank him and apologize for the trouble. 

-Celebrimbor just smiled and wanted to make sure the child was alright. 

-You two chatted for a while since he was curious about an elf with a human child. 

-You tried to keep the conversation casual, but you were sweating inside because you knew his family too well and knew what kind of things happened to one of his uncles. 

-You hoped it was just a one-time encounter. However, that didn’t seem to be the case because fate seems to bring you to him even from work. 

-He sometimes made small talk, and the conversations lasted because you didn’t want to be rude to him.       

-He was pleasant company, to say at least, and gradually you started looking forward to interacting with him. 

-However, the human child always decided to invite him to join your little hangouts

-They said it was to help you get close because it was clear that you liked him. 

-You did not understand till you forced yourself to think about it. 

-Celebrimbor’s beaming smile was like a ray of Arien’s light, and he seemed eager to meet up and spend time with you and your little human friend. 

-He didn’t even think it was strange that ravens and crows followed you or how you sometimes talked with them since they were your favored companions. 

-He asked if he could pet or feed one of them. 

-And he sometimes opened up about his past to you and the regretful things his father and family had done. 

-It was maybe the last straw because you wanted to comfort him, but you were scared because he shared the same feelings for you. 

-You sensed it from his fear. 

-The thought of love was frightening. It was a sign of weakness, and you would have been mocked for falling so low, especially with one of the Eldar. 

-You were afraid because of your past, but since the past was long gone. The future looked brighter, so you tried to embrace the feeling.

-You wondered if Melian felt the same when she decided to marry that Sindar elven king. 

-You weren’t sure how to reciprocate the feelings, but you tried. You end up listening to Celebrimbor’s voice most of the time when he spoke about things. His voice was soothing and always managed to bring a soft smile to your face. 

-Oddly, you started having dreams about life with Celebrimbor. They were bright and filled with good things and love. It felt like they were encouraging you to go forth and confess your feelings for him. It was strange, and you wondered if lord Irmo was behind them. 

-One time, the little human bugger decided to tell how you and Celebrimbor were like parents they always wanted. You felt embarrassed, but Celebrimbor smiled it off and described how it did feel like you two were like family to him. 

-It warmed your heart, and it was just a moment when you realized how you fell hard for this elf. 

-You didn’t like to admit it, but you now needed to thank your little human friend for bringing you two close. 

-Until he arrived. 

-He took a fair form and called himself Annatar, the lord of gifts. He claimed to be sent by the Valar to assist the Noldor and grant them forgiveness, but you knew the truth the first time you saw him. 

-You could recognize those golden eyes everywhere, and there was a shadow that followed his fair appearance. 

-You were frightened, especially, when he laid his eyes upon you. 

-You tried to avoid him because you knew you held no power against him and Celebrimbor already deeply trusted the Maia. 

-You hoped he didn’t come for you. You were a mere spy and an assassin. You had nothing against Mairon, the lieutenant of Melkor.

-Except for that one time when you rescued him from being killed. 

-Mairon almost died until you used your powers to turn every living creature who looked at you into stone. 

-The power of your gaze might have made you different from others, but you left everything behind after that. 

-You didn’t want to know what he was planning. 

-You stayed home most of the time. Celebrimbor often came to check since you started feigning illness to avoid going out. It pained you to worry him like that, but you deemed it necessary. 

-He talked a lot about Annatar and all the great things he helped him to create. 

-You were scared to tell him the fair messenger of the Valar was in reality, the cruelest servant of Morgoth, but you tried to convince him to be weary. You attempted to tell him all the possible dangers and lies Annatar might have told him.

-Celebrimbor being the lovable fool was sure things were okay but promised to consider your worries. 

-You decided to come out because you couldn't hide forever. There was a slight chance Mairon did not remember you since he often preferred to be held above others. It proved to be a grave mistake because he or Annatar turned his attention on you. 

-He spoke softly and like you two were old acquaintances, which was a painful truth. 

-You two never spoke like friends, but he did acknowledge you whenever you returned to Angband to deliver reports or trophies of your kills. 

-You remained polite but tried to keep things short whenever you interacted with him. 

-But, he was like a snake. Slithering close to you and talking sweet and casual things to bring down your guards, which you luckily didn’t. 

-However, he started interfering with you and Celebrimbor during your time alone and when you try to avoid showing him your relationship with Celebrimbor. 

-You almost cursed Celebrimbor for referring you as a dear friend and technically giving it away to the pretender. 

-Annatar seemed amused and looked at you with a dangerous glint in his eyes. 

-The charade continued, and now Annatar started calling you little raven when he saw you interact with your birds. 

-He continued to unnerve you, and the way he interacted with Celebrimbor worried you, so you sent a couple of your ravens to keep watch if he tried something with Celebrimbor. 

-You should have been more careful. You managed to avoid the pretender most of the time and stayed at a safe distance, but this time he had managed to find your home and put you in a critical situation. 

-You found him reading a story to your little human friend, and the child was too invested to realize they were in danger. 

-Mairon hated humans. He always gave worse punishments to human thralls in his possession. He wouldn't even hesitate to harm a child.

-Luckily, you managed to convince your little human friend to go home while keeping your eyes on the Maia in your house. 

-When you were alone, he showed his true nature, and you two started talking. 

-You remained silent and respectful since he was still your superior. 

-Mairon asked what your plans were, and you told him you didn’t have any plans. You just lived among the elves like one of them. 

.-He knew that and told you it would be a waste and asked you to join his side. 

-It caught you off guard, but you tried to keep your guard and questioned what he would gain from you. 

-Your mind couldn't catch up when he kept talking, but you wished you escaped while you had the chance because the one in danger was you. 

“I do not understand,” You said, almost in a whisper. “Why are you so adamant to have me on your side?” You asked. 

“Because I can see the bad end for you,” Mairon started. “You will face suffering if you decide to take this path,” He said. You frowned. “What?” You questioned. 

“I wish to save you like you once saved me from those vassals of the valar,” He said, making you remember the moment when you uncovered your eyes and turned those soldiers into stone to save his life. You now silently regretted the decision. Two of your ravens watched the confrontation from the closed window. 

“I…” You started. “I can assure you that I do not need to be saved,” You explained while hopelessly trying to control your fear. “But why hide among people?” Mairon asked. “Why hide your true form and powers? Why so afraid to show them who you truly are?” He questioned. “I’m not…” You tried to find the words, but the questions caught you off guard that you weren’t sure about your answer. “But you are afraid, aren’t you?” He asked, looking into your eyes. 

You remained quiet because, in your mind, you knew he was right. 

“You shouldn't be afraid to show yourself. Our master favored you for your loyalty and work, so don’t you think you deserve better than what these elves can offer you?” Mairon asked, walking around you like a predator. “I was not… his favored. I only did what he told me to do,” You explained with a surprised tone for a moment. “Oh, but you were, out of all spies and assassins in his army. Your ravens and you were the most efficient,” He said. “So, you should think more highly of yourself than you do now;” He finished. You thought about his words for a moment. 

“If you join my side, you don’t need to hide, and I can offer you better things than this little elven city can give you. Do not stoop to their level because our master is gone,” Mairon said softly. You mustered the courage to look at him. “Why? I have never put myself above anyone, and I never thought lowly of any children of Illuvatar,” You explained. “And…” You struggled for a moment. “I know they made some troubling things during the first age, but they can learn. And they’re not that bad,” You said. 

“Not that bad, you say?” Mairon questioned. You shrank when you sensed the lowering tone in his voice and noticed a hint of disappointment in his eyes after what you said. 

“Tell me, is this about your feelings for that elven lord?” Mairon asked. Your heart started beating anxiously, as you knew he meant Celebrimbor. You felt frozen that you didn’t know how to answer. Love has always been seen; as a sign of weakness. 

“I have seen how fondly he looks at you, so is it love you crave from him?” Mairon asked. “Have you forgotten what you are and how you used to kill his kind without hesitation?” He asked. “No, I don’t!” You shook your head. “What will he think when he finds out you used to serve the dark lord who killed and enslaved his people? And how you watched when we tortured one of his family members?” He asked, coming dangerously close. 

“Do you think he will accept you and all will be forgiven?” He asked with a demanding tone. “No, I-!” You didn’t get to finish when Mairon suddenly grabbed you by the throat and pushed your back against the wall. Your ravens cawed anxiously. 

You winced when your back slammed hard against the wall. “Do you think that elf would love a murderer?” Mairon looked down upon you. He always stood taller than you or anyone, so your body almost started to shake with fear. 

You snapped your eyes open and stared right back at him with deep blue eyes with slit pupils. Heavy breaths escaped your lips as you tried to stand your ground. Mairon’s expression softened. “There they are. That unique gaze that would have turned me to stone if I was weaker than you,” He said, bringing your chin up to have a better look at you. He then chuckled and looked down at his wrist around your throat. You had a grip on his hand with black claws that went through his skin, making him bleed onto the floor. 

“This is what I am trying to save you from,” He said, freeing his hand from your throat. “Denying yourself and dooming yourself on a path that will only lead to a painful rejection from the world,” He explained, stepping back. “I’m afraid Celebrimbor will have second thoughts if he saw you like this and that human you, so adore. How do you think they would react when their favorite elf is someone from the nightmares?” He asked. You tried to keep yourself steady. Even though; it felt impossible. 

Mairon leaned down to your ear. “I can protect you from all that, little raven. I can protect you from the world that will eventually turn its back on you because the past is not dead to them. They will unjustly punish you for your crimes even when you tried to redeem yourself,” He said softly. You silently sucked your breath as his words lingered in your ears. “Of course,” He pulled back. “That is your decision if you still think they aren’t that bad,” He said, then walked toward the door. 

“My doors are open for you because I’m not someone to leave my rescuer in trouble, but I hope you think about my offer. The world is harsh, so think what is truly best for you,” Mairon explained. “I will see myself out till next time, little raven,” He said, then walked out of the door. 

After the door closed, you fell along the wall on your knees. Your eyes turned back, streaming with tears as you tried to control your sudden breathing. You clawed your hair, unable to control the sudden burst of emotions that caused nothing but pain. 

Your two ravens opened the windows by themselves and landed beside you. They cawed, trying to offer their comfort. 

Mairon’s words lingered in your mind, taking effect on you. He sounded like Melkor when you accidentally murdered one of your fellow maiars with your gaze. He convinced you to join his side because he was the only one who could protect you from the harsh punishment of the Valar. You were frightened, so you said yes because you wanted protection. 

You wanted to be safe. You want to refuse the offer, but you could not stop thinking about how things would turn out badly when Celebrimbor learned the truth about you. The hate is justified, but you fear it would be too much to handle since you had feelings for him. 

You stared at the ceiling for a moment, the voices in the back of your mind telling you to take the offer and save yourself from hurt. You were a murderer. You don’t belong among the people of middle earth. You have followed orders all your life, so why refuse them now?

You took a deep breath, despairing how your future would turn out. 

Mairon has always been a ferocious wolf, and you were afraid. He had already ensnared you into his teeth. You couldn't escape him.