#maintagging this because I need my message to be heard

[chocolaminity]

I think people should draw Dylan Keith like a bug more

[cheshire-castle-library]

The op who made that "wahh why isn't fandom fun anymore" post LITERALLY maintags their hate lol, they've done it for ATLA characters and ATSV characters among others. It's so embarrassing.

See this is why I don't participate in many fandoms.

Honestly, everyone is a little blind about themselves once in a while. And you and I are no exception. I'm not in the business of checking into every op on every post on this website. I have like,,, a job and shit. I don't have time for that.

OP can be right and still mess up. OP might just have unpopular opinions that you don't like, and are assuming malice where there isn't any. I don't know, and I'm not here to put that OP on the coroner's table. All I can do is reply to you.

People are allowed to have opinions. People are allowed to share their opinions in fandom space (which is the main tag, I can send you scientific papers that explain this). People are allowed to have unpopular opinions, Publicly, and SHARE THEM. What they are not supposed to do, is lord those opinions over others and use them to hurt people.

What I was agreeing with when I peer reviewed those tags was when people vent into main tags, or frankly this kind of thing? Like, when people can't stay in their lane and have to make a "judgement call" on other people? Or when people are just straight up resentful of a character or fandom, and so they like spit vinegar at everyone over it? I don't know anything about the person you are talking about, and I don't plan to look for it, but unless they're literally pointing fingers and calling people evil for liking 'unlikable' characters, I doubt it's as serious as you're concerned it is.

Like for example, I don't like Twilight. I don't personally find it interesting. I've never read it, but my friends were really into it when it came out, and what I heard of it didn't like... sound fun to me at all. There was a while in my life when I was a little bitch about that, and I'd like make fun of Twilight and I didn't think about how that might upset my friends, and it absolutely never crossed my mind to try and read it and like idk trust my friends to have good taste?

So I try to be better now that I look back on that and see how much of a tool I was. Twilight has stuff in it that's unique. It has stuff in it that's silly and melodramatic too, but its pulp and it explores some interesting themes of romance and "otherness" and age and mental health and stuff like that. So I understand that it appeals to people and it has value, regardless of whether I personally find or make use of that value.

But if I were on tumblr in 8th grade when it came out, I 100% would have been maintagging Twilight hate memes, because I was just kinda tonedef and dumb. That's being a kid. But being a kid doesn't excuse the hurt it causes.

And that is what I think people need to be careful about. Not making fun of things they don't like. Not hurting people for no damn reason, when it would be healthier for everyone to just not interact in the first place.

So also like... this anon message you sent counts as that same thing. Sending an anonymous message (so there's no accountability for what you say) to someone over the character of a third party is not a responsible way to act, and innately causes drama and stress. The OP has nothing to do with me. I have nothing to do with them. I literally don't even know their URL, and I don't plan to go looking for it. Because I know how to stay in my lane and not go looking for drama. That's an important part of adulthood, is choosing your battles. Choosing what to spend your energy on, and not looking to cause problems for yourself and others where it's not absolutely necessary.

For instance, I'm choosing to reply to this, because I think there's something important I can share about my long years in fandom with not just you, but the rest of Tumblr as a whole. I also can take this time to clarify something that obviously wasn't as intuitive as I assumed it was.

Anon, I don't know why you sent this. I don't know whether your intent was out of innocence, whether you were cross with me for some reason, or some secret third thing that I can't fathom. But if you'd like to talk about it more, my dm's are open to everyone. I won't keep replying to anon's, because that's just going to gum up my followers and friends' dashboards; but I'd be more than happy to have a one on one conversation about what you are concerned about, and your fandom experiences, and mine and how fandom has changed over the years.

This type of message isn't very effective at communicating problems.

The best possible outcome of the message you sent me is me not taking it personally as an attack or judgement, and either replying like I am here with civil and clear communication, or me just deleting it and going on with my day. Which, isn't much of a positive impact. The worst possible outcome is you hurt me badly, trigger past traumas, scare me or cow me from ever voicing my opinion again, and cause me to cut myself out of fandom again. Which has happened to me, and enough that I only interact with precious few fandoms as it stands - something you should already know since I mentioned it in the tags of the post we're talking about.

So again, please DM me if you want to talk about this or have other concerns you need help working through. But hiding behind anon and not fully explaining yourself doesn't give me a lot to go on. I just don't know what your intent is, and I'm not going to bend myself into funny shapes trying to guess.

In all honesty, the words you wrote kind of feel like you want me to feel embarrassed about OP or about agreeing with OP or about something I did? And if not, you are asking me to agree to throw a stranger that I don't know and have no interactions with under the bus to validate your opinion.

This sort of thing is why its hard to exist in fandom spaces. This is "big brother" behavior, and turns fandom into a police state. Pointing fingers only makes people retaliate, it doesn't help fandom heal or grow.

That is what people need to stop themselves from doing.