#mainly the timeline of my graduation and thesis completion

[lovelyisadora]

wish me luck I have a meeting with my advisor in like 20 min

[coffee-keith]

This is long rant and super specific to me but I feel like I need to write about this somewhere.

I finally got some decent sleep last night! I tried a new med and got insomnia from it so I was only sleeping a few hours a night for a few days there with extremely high anxiety while it got out of my system. Now that I've slept I feel better but man I'm still very anxious. It's hard to tell what's from this episode and what's more valid. Maybe "valid" isn't the right word. Idk. I'm trying to figure out if I fucked up by accepting this job offer or if it's just from this episode. I 100% started job searching too early for several reasons. Context: I'm a physics graduate student, and I started applying for jobs (mainly this job) before I had started my thesis and before I was done with my analysis. I was having a hard time with the collaboration and my situation and needed to think about the possibility of getting out and doing something meaningful with my life. My sort-of-boyfriend at the time (hard to describe other than maybe a situationship?) is another grad student in the collaboration and he was incredibly motivated to get out and graduate. So I kind of got dragged along in that desire to get out but without the confidence or the drive (or lack of anxiety) to commit to long hours. There was an opportunity that arose with a group at a national lab that my friend is now staff scientist at. It's in space science and super cool and one step to the side of what I want to do and would be an amazing way to get into the field. I applied and they flew me out for an interview and it went really well and they gave me a verbal offer. This was in February. And now it's been a game of me being optimistic and giving a time estimate, then realizing I am not progressing as I should, then being like "ooops sorry I need more time" and then them being like "we'd like you as soon as you can, but whatever you need". And now that has gone on until I'm up to the point where I'm not sure if I can make it on the latest start date possible in the offer I signed. I'm trying to remind myself that I never "lied" to them. I was just excited and optimistic. But maybe still did start to early. And honestly I'm scared I'd never be able to finish the thesis even with infinite time. And some of my peers are like "yeah, I had to work for 8+ hours a day on my thesis with no weekends" and I literally can't do that. My brain won't let me. I'm feeling so very frozen. I have a very strong shame response and I'm feeling an incredible amount of shame imagining that I need to make this group restart their postdoc search. It feels personal because I was recommended by my friend and I would be failing him personally. And also the shame of failing in general. I should reach out to my support people but I'm just so frozen and scared. There's also the problem that with what I have written so far, I feel almost like I'm plagiarizing because I've been looking at the thesis of two of my peers that have already been submitted. And it's so hard for me to not be like "what they are doing is correct so I need to do something similar". I also feel like there's so many imposter syndrome hurdles I need to overcome that my peers probably didn't. (I'm the only grad student on this thesis that isn't a cis man). I want to understand everything but it feels like I'm copying and not actually understanding. I know I need to talk to my advisor and my other contacts and not make any big decisions right now. But my brain is just screaming at me that I need to get this pressure off so I am not so frozen. And the most direct way to do that (other than dropping out completely and never writing my thesis) is by getting rid of this timeline all together. This is probably the lack of sleep and anxiety, but I'm so tempted to undo the offer (before I waste even more moths of the group's time), go home for a month and be sad, and then just restart and take another year or something. Again, that would be a bad decision and I won't let myself make any bad decisions right now, but I just wish this amazing job offer didn't feel like a death sentence.

[doctorharley-md]

So I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how old Harley is and I’m going to bore you with the details right now 

 The age of Harley Quinn is a somewhat debated topic, since neither her actual birthday nor her actual age have been specifically mentioned in comics. She’s also frequently depicted as somewhat childish, both mentally and physically (a conversation for another time, maybe). Largely, I consider her birthday to be September 11, but that’s just the day she first appeared as a character (in Batman: The Animated Series). In cases where her birthday has been celebrated in comics, the date isn’t stated. But whatever, she’s a lady, and nobody needs to know how old she is. Aside from her family, and Batman, I don’t think anybody does know how old she really is. But I have been known to do math from time to time.

The Beginning

    Harleen Frances Quinzel was born at zero years old.     Lol jk I’m actually gonna start with her graduating from high school. In general, Americans graduate from high school at 18. She was a good student, and an even better gymnast, and she got a scholarship for that to go to college. Most people graduate college at 22. But I think there’s an argument to be made for her graduating college a year early. Harleen was an exceptionally driven student with a poor home life. She needed her scholarship to be able to go to college (thanks dad!) and at that point in her life, she was motivated mainly by two things – she wanted to be out of her home situation, and she wanted to be able to understand why her family was so messed up. This made her not only education-oriented, but career-oriented, and suggests a compelling reason that she may have pushed herself to graduate a year early (particularly once she was in college where students choose their course loads).    That’s all to say, I believe Harley was 21-22 years old when she graduated college.

The PhD Problem

   Sometimes when Harley mentions her post-graduate education, she says she has a PhD, and sometimes she says she went to medical school, which would give her an MD. Regardless of the degree she says she has or studied for, she always describes herself as a psychiatrist.    Psychiatrists need to have an MD to practice, since they are medical doctors who treat mental health issues. It’s easy to think that this means there’s some inconsistency in either what degree people attribute to her, or what degree she claims to have. But I don’t think so.    I think that directly after she graduated college, Harley went to an MD/PhD program. Teaching hospitals have MD programs, but a lot of them also have PhD programs that focus on translational science, and an option which combines the two, called an MD/PhD. They’re fucking grueling degrees, and I don’t envy anybody who’s doing that, but Harleen Quinzel would have graduated college in the perfect position to get an MD/PhD.    She had no money, and her goal was to become a psychiatrist. She did undergraduate research which would have given her the experience required to impress a PhD program, she was on the gymnastics team which shows dedication, and she is incredibly smart so she would have had a great GPA and MCAT scores. MD/PhDs are also often paid a stipend during their schooling equivalent to what a PhD student makes in the same program (this is a salary which is enough to cover living costs), which makes this a great way to get two degrees while supporting herself.    MD/PhD programs take six or seven years. The first two years are medical school, the second two or three years are spent doing the PhD thesis, and the final two years are the last two years of medical school. It makes complete sense that this is what Harley would do since it’s time and cost effective, and she’s both driven and intelligent enough to do it.    (Also you don’t graduate with an MD/PhD, you graduate with an MD and a PhD. So if your medical license were to say…be revoked…you would still have a PhD, motherfucker.)    When Harley graduated from graduate school, I believe she was 27 or 28 years old.

Residency and Arkham

   A residency is a requirement after graduating from an MD program. That takes two years, and you don’t get to choose where you do it, aside from being able to request to do a residency in a specific place. So this could go one of two ways – either Harley got accepted to do her residency at Arkham, or she did her residency and then started her job as a full-fledged psychiatrist at Arkham.    I think the second option is more likely, considering Arkham’s institutional profile. So I think she was 29 or 30 when she began working as a doctor at Arkham Asylum. I’m consolidating this to a round 30 years old.    It’s pretty clear from the comics about her origin that by the time she began working at Arkham, she was already very interested in the Joker (the path that led her to a Joker fascination is a story for a different time). It’s also well-established that shortly after she started her job at Arkham, she got herself assigned to work with the Joker. At that point in her life, she already wasn’t entirely mentally or emotionally stable because she’d thrown herself into her work to avoid dealing with her own mental health issues. For the Joker, that plus her already-present obsession with him made her an easy target. By the time Harley helped break him out of Arkham, she very much thought that saving him was the only way to prove herself.    I think Harley was 31 or 32 when she really became Harley Quinn. For the sake of giving my girl the benefit of the doubt, I’m gonna go with 32.

Relationship with the Joker

   Obviously, over the course of her existence as a comic book character, Harley has been with Joker for a long time. But the more I think about the actual timelines of those comics or cartoons, the more I become convinced that it was only a few years. Their relationship started rapidly – it was hot and heavy and a total whirlwind because of the lives they led.     I think it was less the time, and more the quantity of the crimes they did together and her devotion to him which established them as Gotham’s criminal power couple very quickly. In Gotham, bad things happen in such rapid succession that it bleeds time of real meaning. It would be easy to have the Joker freshly out of Arkham, suddenly with a very in love girl tagging along and making herself just as much of a threat as him, and then to think that that just made sense, and so it must always have been or would always be that way.    But their relationship could never last, for a whole laundry list of reasons which probably everybody knows.    So I believe that by the time Harley and the Joker break up, she’s around 35. She’s also in fantastic shape, and jumped into a pool of acid that fundamentally changed some aspects of her physicality, and is extremely mentally nimble but also insane and acts like a child a lot of the time. Which is why it’s really just a number – and it’s not one that any other character is likely to know unless they can get the information out of Harley or Batman. But she’d just as soon lie as anything else, and he knows better than to comment on a lady’s age.

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 6 - The Beach

Saturday had come and Varian and the rest of his new friends were all crowded in Wasabi's car. Wasabi had precisely enough room to fit six people, though perhaps a bit uncomfortably. He and Varian rode in the front seat, with Varian carrying Ruddiger in his carrying cage, while Hiro, Gogo, Honey Lemon, and Fred were squished together in the back seat. The robot, Baymax, was folded up inside his battery pack and tucked away in the trunk to make room. 

Apparently today was a holiday and they were all heading to the beach. Well in truth the actual holiday was on Monday, but Americans spent the whole weekend in celebration. Said holiday was Memorial Day and was meant to honor warriors who fell in battle. However, despite this somber origin, most considered the weekend to be the official start of summer and would mark the occasion with picnics, parties, and public swimming. 

For Varian and his friends though, this was the end of spring break. Starting on Tuesday, the university they now all attended would open back up and the summer semester would begin. The thought of which sent Varian's stomach churning with butterflies. He'd never been to school before and didn't know what to expect. He was filled with anxious excitement and to calm his nerves he looked out the car window to admire the scenery.

He'd been in this strange new world for a week now but he'd had little chance to admire it. For the past five days he'd been busy studying for his entrance exams for college. Passing the 'graduation' test in particular was important for gaining admittance into the school and Varian had to do some serious cramming to prepare for it. Squeezing twelve years worth of educational knowledge into his brain in less than a week.  

Fortunately Varian was very good at memorizing facts and all his new friends were on hand to help him. On Monday, Hiro had helped him gather up the study materials he'd needed and told him what to expect. Wasabi gave him practice tests throughout the week and helped him pinpoint the areas he was weakest in. He was pretty good with math and grasped most of the science quickly, with Wasabi being on hand to fill in the gaps, but he needed help in other less familiar subjects. 

Gogo had swung by on Tuesday and spent the whole day giving Varian a crash course in Social Studies, which was a combination of history, geography, and civics. 

Varian took a special interest in America's founding and it's chosen form of government, which was unlike anything he had heard of before. They had no king nor royalty of any kind. In fact the country was founded by people who committed treason and fought a war to overthrow their ruler, and who then put into place a democracy made up of elected representatives instead. It most closely resembled the government of ancient Rome, before Julius Caesar had taken over, but was expanded upon to encompass a vast kingdom, larger than even most empires. 

Varian had already thought San Fansokyo was an impressively large city, but was completely flabbergasted to know that not only was it not the largest city in the country, it wasn't even the biggest within its own providence; and there were fifty of these states that stretched across the continent from coast to coast with similarly massive metropolises in each. 

It was mind boggling and it took him sometime to wrap his brain around the concept. And that was just the tip of the iceberg, he also had to catch up with some four hundred odd years worth of world events on top of that. But Gogo was a patient teacher and she carefully broke down everything into manageable chunks, giving him timelines, charts, and maps for him to refer back to. By the end of the day he had perhaps learned more in those eight hours spent with her than he had in his whole sixteen years. 

On Wednesday, Fred had showed up to help Varian practice for the writing portion of the tests. He would have to complete two essays on any given subject for each of the two exams. Fred himself had actually completed one of the same tests, the S.A.T, just a few months ago and knew what the graders were looking for when it came to such essays. 

Mainly, they just wanted to know if Varian could follow the basic guidelines of writing; paragraphs and sentence structure, grammar, spelling, and his overall ability to form an argument on paper. All things Varian felt pretty comfortable with, but it was nevertheless a good refresher of those basics. Essay writing and thesis statements were apparently expected of any student attending higher education and he would have to write many during the course of his studies. 

Thursday, Honey Lemon stopped by to help Varian with Language Arts. Both tests would cover reading comprehension and even more grammar. Once again Varian was pretty comfortable with those two subjects, especially given the writing practice from the day before, and so they finished pretty quickly. Even with Honey Lemon adding in extra information about various important books and plays that had been written in the past four centuries, just in case any of them made it into the reading part of the exam. Though Shakespeare was still deemed the most influential even in this modern age. A fact which disappointed Varian; he personally thought Marlowe to be superior to the bard. 

"You don't even like Romeo and Juliet?" Honey Lemon asked aghast, "But it's sooo romantic." 

"But it's sooo stupid," Varian mockingly admonished with a laugh. Which in turn made Honey Lemon give him a not-so-serious pout. 

"Look, what was stopping them from just leaving together in the first place?" Varian explained his point. 

Honey Lemon opened her mouth to retort back but just as soon closed it again; she had never considered that question before. She screwed up her mouth in thought as she searched for a better answer. 

"Weeelll, sometimes it's hard to leave the only home you've ever known. Isn't that why you want to get back to your world?" She asked him.

Varian just stared at her for a moment, thinking of an answer to give that didn't allow him to explain his past in detail. Finally he said, "I wanna get back because my dad is there. I couldn’t care less about Corona itself." 

"You don't care at all?"

"It's just a bunch of buildings." He mumbled with a shrug, then he added, more assuredly, "What matters is the people in your life." 

"I guess," She replied, "all I know is that I had a hard enough time just leaving Sacramento. Even though it's only an hour and a half away and I can still see my family whenever. I can't imagine what it's like to be lost in a whole other world." 

Varian ignored her attempts to sympathize, not because he didn't appreciate the effort, but because he was ready to move on from the conversation. Instead he shut his eyes tightly and tilted his head back, trying to recall some of the new information he had recently learned. "Sacramento; that's the capital of California, right?" 

"Yeah. But don't worry, no one actually memorizes all fifty states and their capitals. I only know like twenty or so." She admitted.

"Oh, good." Varian breathed in relief. Soon both he and Honey Lemon were just giggling, happy to relieve the tension in the room.

"Oooh, you know what? I brought my make-up bag with me!" Honey Lemon suddenly exclaimed, and just like that all previous talk about literature and writing gave away to other subjects, mostly chemistry.

Honey Lemon made her own cosmetics. It was a passion of hers to find new, safe, and 'biodegradable' chemical compounds to replace some of the more toxic stuff on the market. 

"And absolutely no animal testing." She added in all seriousness. 

She even sold her wares over the internet, shipping them to customers as they ordered them, as a means of making money on the side. 

She poured out the contents of a rather large tote bag onto the floor and walked Varian through each item, what it was for, and how she had made it. Varian listened intently and even tried some of the stuff himself. 

He found he didn’t care much for lipstick nor cakey foundation, the texture was off putting to him. He also didn’t like anything with a heavy perfume. However, he did like the eyeliner and the black fingernail polish he had previously bought. He was still fascinated by the concept of synthesized polymers. 

They were both sitting on the floor, makeup strewn everywhere, laughing over nothing in particular, when Wasabi came home from his part-time job. Honey Lemon was in the middle of applying mascara to Varian’s eyes and he was trying his best not to blink but failing at it, which only sent both of them into more fits of giggles. Meanwhile, unnoticed by them both, Ruddgier had gotten into the powered blush and was making a mess in another corner of the room.

“I thought you two were studying.” Wasabi said with a hint of annoyance to his voice. He was tired from work and none too happy to find makeup scattered about his dorm room. 

“Sorry,” Honey Lemon tried to say through her laughter, “but we finished early and I’d promise to teach Varian how to paint his nails.” Varian held up his hand to show Wasabi his newly painted nails as a way of response. 

“That’s nice.” Wasabi replied back in a sarcastic tone. “Did you also teach the raccoon how to put on foundation?” 

That’s when they both finally noticed Ruddiger. Varian got onto his pet and went to clean up the mess, effectively ending the study/make-up session. 

The next day, Wasabi gave him two final practice tests and then it was time for him to take the real thing. He met Professor Granville at the school and, alongside a few other hopeful students, took the two tests. 

The first test, the S.A.T., went smoothly, but he wouldn’t know his actual scores until his answer sheet and essay were sent off to be graded. The graduation test however was taken over the computer and it took several hours to complete with a few breaks between parts. He felt he could have finished sooner had he had the chance to take the test using a pencil and paper instead, as he found the mouse and keyboard awkward. But the positive thing about using the new technology was that he got his scores back sooner. He managed to pass all the parts, even with him just barely scraping by on the Social Studies section. His official certification would come in the mail, the professor told him, but for all intents and purposes he now had a high school diploma. 

Which was apparently a big deal in this world. Earning a diploma was considered to be something of a rite of passage. Obtaining one meant you were ready to start entering the adult world and with it you could gain full time employment or seek higher education, like college. According to his friends, he should’ve been extra proud of this accomplishment since gaining a high school diploma at his age, while not unheard of, was unusual, and he had done it in less than a week when most took years to achieve it. 

To signify just how important this was, all his new friends threw him a party at the Lucky Cat. Even Aunt Cass had pitched in and made him a special dinner. It was something called ‘sushi’ and she typically prepared it for celebrations like this one; having cooked similar dinners for both Tadashi and Hiro when they had graduated high school as well.       

Varian was appreciative of her efforts, though he didn’t quite know what to make of the food itself. The ‘sushi’ consisted mostly of rice topped with raw fish wrapped in seaweed. The taste wasn’t bad but the texture of the uncooked seafood was weird to Varian. Fortunately, not everything was raw. There were different kinds to be had and Varian was able to pick out some that he did enjoy; ones stuffed with crab, egg, or just veggies. He especially liked the ‘dessert sushi’ made with tropical fruit.

He’d just finished recalling last night, when Wasabi loudly proclaimed, “We're here!” 

There were whoops and joyous yells in response from the various passengers and Varian looked out the front windshield to see the familiar blue streak that was the ocean just up ahead. Wasabi parked the car in the designated parking lot and then they all piled out of said vehicle and made their way down to the beachfront. 

The sandy beach was tucked in between two rocky cliffs and you had to walk down a wooden stairway to get to it. As he made his way down the stairwell, Varian could look out and see the expanse of dark blue ocean and lighter blue sky go on forever. It didn't look much different from Corona's coast. What did look different were the inhabitants. Corona's coastline was usually deserted save for the ports and the occasional fishing boat off in the distance, but here the beach was a mass of half naked bodies and swarms of vacationers enjoying the summer sun. Spread out along the sandy tolls were towels, blankets, folding chairs, and umbrellas of all sizes with scantily clad people lounging upon or underneath. 

Varian tried to remember Gogo's words from a week ago, about how this was deemed normal and not to bring himself to attention by starring. But everywhere Varian looked he was met with the sight of a lovely lady's long legs or a handsome lad's toned chest. Not looking was very much like asking a small child in a pastry shop to hold their nose and ignore the sweet smells of pies and cakes surrounding them. Fortunately, he was able to keep his composure long enough for them to reach the shore and find a spot to set up camp for the day; managing not to hold his gaze for too long on any one person or thing. 

They had brought a variety of towels and folding chairs of their own, along with a large parasol and ice chest full of food and drink for the day. Varian and Wasabi had spent that morning making sandwiches for everyone; tuna fish salad, sliced cucumbers with butter, jam mixed with a spread made from ground nuts, and some sort of mystery meat called 'baloney' paired with cheese. Varian couldn't figure out if said baloney was made from ham or chicken, as it didn't really taste like either, though it also didn't taste bad per-say. They also stored small bags of crispy fried potatoes, individually wrapped miniature cakes, and bottles of some sort of fizzy drink called 'soda' in the chest as well. Varian found the carbonated sugary drink to be odd but surprisingly tasty. 

While everyone was setting up Hiro unpacked Baymax from his portable charger, the robot inflated to full size again before stepping out, and Varian released Ruddiger from his carrier. The raccoon was grateful to be let out of the small cage at last and promptly snuggled up on one of the folding chairs under the sun to catnap. Varian didn't think the leash necessary as there really wasn't any place for his pet to run off to. 

Once done with setting up, the gang then proceeded to unpack the various toys and games they had brought along as well. There was a game you played with a net, like tennis, only you used your hands to pass a 'volleyball' over said net instead of a racket and you didn't want the larger ball to touch the ground at any point. They also brought a flat discus called a 'frisbee' which you threw from person to person. Gogo had with her a flat wooden board used to ride the waves that broke along the shore. Which she let Varian and her other friends try out for themselves. 

Varian however was not very good at any of these new sports. While he was fairly athletic, capable of running, climbing, and whatnot, he had never been the best at coordination. More often than not he'd simply trip and fall in his efforts to keep up with the ball or maintain his balance on the surfboard. 

Instead Varian found himself wandering off occasionally to try and strike up conversations with new people. He'd hadn't had a lot of social interaction while growing up, especially with others his age, and he wanted some practice before he started school in a few days. Hopefully to ease the awkwardness of being dumped in a world that he knew next to nothing about. 

However every time he'd smile at a pretty girl or make eye contact with a cute boy his age, his efforts to make small talk were sabotaged by some mishap or other. Either his own clumsiness would get in the way or he'd put his foot in mouth, as the saying goes. One particularly unfortunate incident involved him getting beaned in the back of the head from a misthrown volleyball while trying to chat up a couple of vacationing teens. Fortunately, his embarrassing failures at flirting would be followed by one of his new friends trying to engage him with some other activity so he was never left alone with his awkwardness for long. 

Swimming, sand castle building, more games; like 'chicken', where you tried to push one person off another person's shoulders into the water, or 'Marco Polo' where one person had to find the others with their eyes closed, using the ancient explorer's name as a call and response, digging for seashells, and other similar actives were to be had to pass the time away. 

Finally, the sun started to hang low in the sky and they all headed back to the car. They were wet, tired and covered in sand. They tried to knock the irritating substance off their shoes and things before all squeezing back into the ill fitting vehicle in order to head back home. They all sat on towels so as not to get the seats wet and their bathing suits and cover up clothes all clung to them dripping with sea water. 

Varian sat again in the front seat, only this time Honey Lemon had asked to hold Ruddiger on the ride back. She, Gogo, Fred, and Hiro were all fast asleep in the backseat with Baymax once again tucked away in his battery case. Wasabi had the radio on in order to keep himself awake as he drove (and to drown out Honey Lemon's snoring if he was being honest). The music that filtered out of the speakers was called 'classical' music, which just meant it was mostly orchestral music from ages past. To Varian it sounded very modern and sophisticated to his ears, like chamber music played for royal courts, not the more rustic folk music he grew up on. 

Right now a gentle suite with piano and strings was playing and it along with the steady motion of the car moving was beginning to lull Varian to sleep as well. He looked out again at the houses and scenery that passed by and thought of the day's events and the fun he had had as his eyes grew heavy. This world was so much more inviting and nicer than his own, it was a shame he'd have to leave it soon, but his Dad needed him and that was that. And with that final resolve Varian drifted off to dreamland. 

[nikiforoov]

“yuuri didn’t go to university in detroit” and other catchy clickbait titles

i just want to return to this post (please check it out before reading this) about yuuri’s time in the us for a few seconds! i’m not sure if i’ve ever put my thoughts on the subject in one place before so here goes!

the popular fanon ideas about yuuri’s time in detroit seem to be that he was there either through an exchange program or transferred to a detroit university completely, but i don’t think either of these are correct! which, obviously, is why i’m writing this ahaha. i’m basing most of this on tatsuki machida’s career! a lot of yuuri’s pre-series career was based on his although they’ve altered the timeline to fit the plot.

putting the rest under a cut because oops this got a bit long

background info

machida put his studies on hold when he started training in the us in ‘11 (x) and qualified for the gpf for the first time in ‘12 where he finished 6th. then in ‘14 – because of the stress and lack of sleep from writing his thesis during the competition (x) – he basically blew his fs and finished 6th again and announced his retirement after nationals because he wanted to focus on his studies (x)

sounds familiar, right? i think it’s pretty obvious that yuuri’s career is a combination of all those events: he was training in the us when he qualified for the gpf for the first time, blew his fs and fell to the last place. this is where the yoi storyline begins and the stories become different! so instead of retiring after winning silver in nationals like machida, yuuri suffered another major loss, spent three months finishing his studies and graduated in late march.

(at this point i can practically hear you all going “but what does any of this have to do with his time in detroit, alli!” and i’m getting to that, i promise!)

where did yuuri study then?

okay so we know yuuri had been away from hasetsu for five years before ep1, and i think that’s why a lot of people assume he lived in detroit for a long time. however, yuuri’s bio on the jsf website in ep1 mentions he’s studying in kinogakuin university (x), which is obviously a fictional university. i’ve seen a lot of speculation on which university might be its real life counterpart, and the most common theory seems to be kansai university since a lot of figure skaters – including machida, wow what a coincidence right?  – have studied there. so if we assume kinogakuin is located in osaka like kansai university is, well, that’s a pretty long way from hasetsu and it would make sense that yuuri probably didn’t have time (or money, figure skating is expensive as hell) to visit his family even when he was studying in the same country. so him being away for so long doesn’t necessarily mean he was living in another country!

it’s also pretty much 100% certain the university he graduated from in ep1 was kinogakuin, since it happened right before he returned to hasetsu in late march which is when the japanese school year ends (x). it also makes a lot more sense for hiroko to apologize for not being able to travel to osaka than to detroit! 

that doesn’t mean yuuri didn’t study in detroit?

true, it doesn’t. but listen.

going briefly back to machida’s career: he put his studies on hold and focused completely on skating while he was training in the us. yuuri probably did the same. so let’s say yuuri moved to the us a little later than machida, who did so in the spring. maybe even in the middle of the season, around new years, one year pre-canon? in this case yuuri would have been one semester from graduating when he left. and then he returns to japan exactly one year later and finishes his studies. this timeline would fit perfectly with mari’s comment about yuuri having to study an extra year, which would be the year he spent training in detroit! so timeline-wise, there’s no need for yuuri to have been doing university courses during his time in detroit.

but didn’t yuuri train under celestino for more than a year?

i’m 99% sure this hasn’t been stated anywhere, and from what i know it’s nothing but a popular fanon idea. celestino and yuuri’s past relationship has been in fact referred to in only one scene in ep4, where yuuri finally contacts him again. i think the idea of them having worked together for a longer time comes from celestino saying yuuri only brought him a music piece once, which can be understood as there having been many other occasions where he just let celestino pick for him. i think it just means that yuuri brought that one cd, and gave up after celestino questioned him about it instead of sticking with it or trying different ones.

what about phichit?

if you’re asking me “but alli, were they roommates??” i have no idea ahaha but i’d go with no, probably not. mainly because we have nothing to back up the fanon, unless we count approximately 20 seconds of footage with them sitting in the same room as evidence. EDIT// i am happy to say that i had completely forgotten the official website and go yuri go!!! fanbook both introduce phichit as yuuri’s detroit era roommate!! so yes, they were roommates! (oh my god they were roommates)

and if you’re asking how long phichit trained in detroit, my answer is still that i have no idea! he might have moved there a bit earlier than yuuri tho? but that’s just my feeling which is based on nothing.

... and i think that was all? oh wow, feels good to get all this out of my head! please feel free to ask questions and comment if you notice things that just don’t add up or are blatantly wrong, i’ve been writing this til the early hours of morning so my concentration isn’t at its best ahaha D: but anyway, thank you for coming to my ted talk ♥

[janetoryim]

Word’s out: I’ve committed to attending Yale University in the fall to pursue my Master in Public Health!!!

TEXAS FOREVER

For anyone who talked to me during the process, you know how anxious I felt throughout the whole process.

DISCLAIMER: ANOTHER LONG POST SORRY WILL EDIT LATER

// GRE, APPLYING, DOUBTS //

Back in October, I had a life crisis/mental breakdown and finally committed to pursuing graduate school instead of medical school. It took a lot of humility and sacrifice to give up on a dream that I had for so long. People kept asking, “Well, why didn’t you just apply to med school? Why give up before you get a no?” (background: I completely switched. Like I no longer desire to become a physician.) // READ MORE ABOUT THAT TIME HERE!

Throughout the whole process of applying to grad school, I faced a lot of doubt: what if I should have just applied to med school? What if I go into public health and have a rude awakening that I hate it? What if I don’t get in anywhere? How will I do on the GRE?

I felt really anxious because all of my close friends were getting full time job offers that they really wanted & they knew where they were going to live geographically the next year. But there I was, just figuring out my life, in the middle of first semester of my senior year of college.

And so literally a month after I decided to switch to this life path, I took the GRE on November 16th and started my first week at my new part time job, and two weeks after that on Dec 1st, I had applied to my first three programs. By December 31st, I finished applying to all 8 programs, all out of the state, struggled to finish my senior thesis, and had some personal stuff to deal with. That season was absolute madness.

The doubts didn’t stop. More than half of the programs I was interested in required a minimum of 2 years, public-health related work experience, so I couldn’t even apply to a lot of programs. And once I submitted and paid for my applications, I realized that some of my “back-up” choices were actually really prestigious. For example, I applied to one of the best health policy programs (George Washington University) as a back-up, but when I heard that it’s one of the best I began considering if I should apply to other programs, like UT/A&M.

But God is just so incredibly faithful.

With my GRE, I spent half a week in Houston to “study” for it, but really I just hung out with people. I walked into that exam not even knowing the format of the exam tbh. You basically get your scores right away (except for the writing portion), and once those numbers popped up, I stared at the screen for a long while because I performed a lot better than I expected. A couple of weeks later, I got my writing score, scoring in the top 7% of the nation on that portion of the exam. (HAHA THANK YOU, UT COLLEGE OF LIBERAL ARTS. I guess all of those incredibly lengthy literary reviews and thesis papers paid off?)

And less than a week after I applied to GWU (the health policy program I mentioned), they gave me my first acceptance!

I couldn’t believe it. I remember the overwhelming joy that took away my doubts. It confirmed that I was, in fact, going somewhere, and that I made the right decision to choose public health. I messaged so many people, and I felt so supported as my friends and family celebrated with me. More than those things, though, I heard a strong voice of the Lord telling me,

“Janet, have peace. Do you not trust me? Didn’t you say that you knew that switching to PH was from me? Why do you doubt? Why are you worried? I am the Lord. I am faithful. Believe that I am who I say that I am.”

// THE ADMISSIONS PROCESS, DECISIONS, DECISIONS, DECISIONS //

As time went on, I God proved faithful again and again.

At one point, I considered applying for a joint degree at Yale to get my MPH and my M. Div (Master of Divinity, a professional ministry degree). I emailed and later called the Director of Admissions to talk about it, and she was so excited for my passion for public health and my desire to understand God’s heart for the field! Though I ultimately ended up not applying for the joint degree, the Director of Admissions continued to follow up with me and even sent me personal emails to congratulate me on my acceptance and to give me contact information of others in the joint degree, just in case I wanted to talk to them!

And then I was invited to interview for UPenn, my dream undergrad school during a conference I was attending LOL.  A week later, I got my second acceptance. There’s a really long story behind this one, but this acceptance led to a lot of greater things and emotional healing regarding my family, in ways that I didn’t even know I needed healing.

I then received my acceptance to Boston University, another top 10 program, and they also gave me a $20,000 merit scholarship!!

As I received these acceptances, I grew more and more selfish and ambitious. I joined this forum that in which a bunch of people posted their stats & their acceptances/timelines of their decision. I began comparing myself to them. The newness of the acceptances wore off, and honestly, I became really impatient. At this point, I had heard back from all of my “backup” programs and was waiting on the “dream schools”. The most commonly used phrase that came out of my mouth was, “I just wanna knowwwww.” (To my friends: IM SO SORRY. I was so annoying but thank you so much for staying patient and walking me through this journey ugh im so lucky wow.) I stopped praying, I stopped thanking God. Instead of praying, “God just lead me to where you want me,” I prayed, “God, just give me an answer.” “God, why is it taking so long? I just wanna know where I’ll be next year.”

I hated it. I constantly felt so impatient, anxious. This pit in my stomach never just got bigger and bigger. I constantly checked my email. literally. every. 5. minutes. Each day felt so painstakingly long.

A couple weeks later, it happened. I got into Yale!!! I literally dropped my phone outside of CLA after class. I told EVERYONE. My parents almost didn’t believe me. I got so excited I LEGIT DELETED THE EMAIL. I Googled how to un-archive emails on my phone HAHA. Imagine getting the email, deleting it, refreshing your inbox, and then it not being there?? I honestly thought I was just imagining things.

About a week after that, I got into Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health, one of the best programs. Then, I got into the one that I thought was impossible: The Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. Literally ranked #1, and has been for decades.

I couldn’t believe it.

But life is just so twisted. As I received these acceptances from literally the TOP ranked programs in the nation, and possibly the world, I didn’t thank God, the only One who made it possible. Like y’all. I had a 3.2 GPA when I applied. I didn’t deserve it. I really didn’t.

Then I started to feel guilt. I felt as though I should have trusted God a lot more in the process. I should have prayed not only at the beginning of this whole adventure, but throughout. At that point, I felt just so spiritually dry and far away that more than excitement and worship, my response was pure guilt. And I knew that this guilt was not from the Lord. It just got worse when I realized that it affected my personal life–my friendships, my ministry, my discipleships.

[[Eventually, I heard back from Brown and Harvard, which I didn’t get into. But honestly that’s totally ok because it made the decision-making process so much easier.]]

// ADMITTED STUDENT DAY VISITS //

So because I wasn’t seeking God for clarity, I visited three programs for their Admitted Student Days: Columbia, Johns Hopkins, and Yale.

Super brief, but those visits gave me a lot of clarity. At Columbia, I realized that it was an amazing program, but not for me. I felt very affirmed though and was really glad that my brother’s there for his MPH.

For JH, I came in thinking that I would hate it, mainly because of the stereotypes that I had: that JH was full of competitive people who only cared about research. Long story short, I ended up loving it and getting to spend time with my best friend while I was there. I really really enjoyed the visit, and basically made the decision to attend in the fall.

But something kept me wanting to visit Yale. Maybe it was b/c I just wanted to get out of UT. Maybe it was the Ivy League name. Maybe it was b/c it gave me another opportunity to visit brudder Yim. Regardless, my parents didn’t think I needed to visit b/c it seemed like I was just so set on Hopkins.

But God really wanted me to visit Yale.

A couple of people know this, but I literally almost missed my flight for that visit. The boarding time was at 8:20AM, BUT I WOKE UP AT 8AM???? UM HELLO IM A MESS. I sped down I35 and got to the gate by 8:30, before my boarding group was even called up HAHA. Thank God I woke up and that I didn’t run into anyone or anything and that no police were around omg.

Overall, this visit made me super torn between JH and Yale, so I came in wanting clarity, but came back more of a mess than when I left. And let’s be real: I was SUCH a mess when I left HAHA.

// DECISIONS AND COMMITTING //

And so literally on the plane back, I started this extremely crazy excel file, comparing course schedules of the two, weighing pros and cons, planning out my 2 year plan at both. I spent the next couple of days perusing the websites for both and figuring out what I would get involved in. I stalked literally hundreds of people on LinkedIn to gauge what the future could look life for me if I went to either institution.

Run-down of each:

Both

Small cohorts (15-20 at JHU, ~25(?) at Yale)

Financially about the same

Baltimore & New Haven felt similar to me tbh

Grad student ministries

 JHU:

Baltimore, proximity to D.C. Really interesting place to study populations.

Lots of parks nearby, campus next to the harbor

Hipster and cool vibes

#1 program

Curriculum super rigid, but I would enjoy basically every class in my proposed 2 year plan LOL

THE leading public health institution in the world

Endless opportunities to work with the leading public health professionals, whose office is probably just down the hallway

75% tuition cut the second year

Very hands on/practical courses

2 internship opportunities: one domestically in the summer, 1 internationally in the fall (can carry over to the spring)

I already know of pastors and other contacts that could help me grow spiritually

INTENSE courseload: 18-22 credits per QUARTER omg

I would grow a lot as a student and in time management/discipline here. I would be trained as a highly effective public health professional in basically any field.

Yale

More theoretical/research-focused courses

BUT I get to take any course from the entire University. Like I could take Systematic Theology from the Divinity School, I could take classes from the #7 business school in the nation, the #1 law school in the world.

Flexible curriculum

More established connections with organizations around the country/world, but not necessarily in PH

Access to the Yale network, not just the YSPH network

Only 1 internship opportunity (summer)

50% off of tuition through scholarship/grants

No prior knowledge of churches/personal contacts in the area that would help me grow spiritually

Honestly, I had all of the facts. I had all of the answers. But at the end of the day, I felt like I was comparing apples to oranges, and I felt paralyzed because I was afraid of making the wrong decision.

But one of my friends put it well: When I weighed the pros and cons, they were about equal. I just needed to figure out what I wanted, and to commit.

I finally began to seriously seek the Lord and His heart for this time. I heard a voice loud and clear saying,

“Janet, more than the right/wrong decision, I want you to remain full of joy and worship in the process.”

And that’s exactly what I needed to hear. I was letting fear cripple me from making a decision–fear of the JHU curriculum, fear of lack of job prospects if I don’t go to JHU, fear of moving away, etc. etc. etc.

And as others prayed for me and listened to me, God covered me with this immense sense of peace that put me in a place to listen intently to His voice and His alone.

Once I sought out God’s heart, the decision was so easy. I began to realize that with JHU, there are SO many perks. Like why wouldn’t I go?? It’s #1! But I would go for very selfish reasons–to simply further my own career, to grow as a student, to more easily fulfill my dreams and ambitions. But with Yale, I was already thinking of ways I can start outreaching to my fellow classmates/professors/the community. I had a Kingdom mindset already. That was the biggest indicator for my commitment. I also started to see that maybe not having many contacts there would be better for my own faith–to become more independent, and seek growth and Truth individually. And I know that I’ll continue to have a community from back home that will keep me accountable with this.

How people think I feel about leaving UT

How I actually feel

—

Most people probably may think that I made the *wrong* choice. But I don’t. I’m definitely not saying that Yale is a terrible program. It’s amazing. And I’m so so SO incredibly blessed and humbled to be able to attend–with financial help! But What I’m trying to hone in on is that my life is not my own. I serve a God who is so faithful when I am far from it. I am loved by the Father who lays everything out in front of me and blesses me when I least deserve it, even when I turn my back on Him. I worship the Gracious Redeemer who blesses even my mistakes. I follow the Lord who calls me to things bigger and better than myself, One who uses a broken vessel like me for His glory. 

As I meditate on what God has planned for me in this upcoming life stage which seems so far away right now, I hope you will meditate with me on this passage:

“Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go.  This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:6-9

So friends, if you got to this point, thank you so much. I just kind of word-vomitted for an hour haha. Special shoutout to the friends that walked me through this whole journey: Christina for trying to listen as we worked out every TTH, Charlotte for always encouraging me and listening to me rant, Alyssa for your caring heart, Andrew for walking with me and being able to empathize as we journeyed through decisions together, Ethan for your insight and analyzing mind, the prayer warriors who at Luke 4:18 ministries, Lina/Jenny/Vicki/Bianca who listened to me during discipleship even if we didn’t get to read the Bible/pray as much together, and the Pastors (PG, P. Art, Pastor Steve) who texted and FB messaged me and prayed for me and asked me for updates. And anyone else I forgot to mention!! Really you are all so special and made me feel so supported and loved and cared for throughout this whole intense journey. Thank you for being in my life, and I hope that we will continue journeying through this mess called life together with joy and in worship! (:

Ok but before I leave I gotta graduate please pray that I pass all of my classes LOL

When You Give Up #1 for #14 Word's out: I've committed to attending Yale University in the fall to pursue my Master in Public Health!!!