#main taggin bc im proud of this <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[navysealt4t]

'i can't lose you again' and navyseal :P (hehehe evil angst potential)

holding u thank you so much i am cherishing this forever......

anyways uhhh heres 1k words i wrote bc i went insane ^_^

i might end up expanding on this and editing it more to post on ao3 :p i only ran this through grammarly lol. enjoy navyseal angst!!!!!

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“This will work, Jay. Trust me on this.” 

She swallowed, trying to force down the growing pressure in her throat and behind her eyes. She still held right onto Gill’s arm. He could jerk her arm away if she wanted to, but Gill didn’t. He was going to wait for Jay to make her decision first. 

Hee breath shook as she exhaled.

“Gill, I’m not-“ Her voice cracked, and she shut her mouth, trying to stop the tears. “I’m not going to let you go. I mean, we barely know anything about that stupid tip you got.” 

They were still looking for Felipe, but their search had been futile until Gillion found… someone. He was a strange man, but swore he had a way to locate their friend. And he did, but it wasn’t pretty. It was dangerous, and Jay wasn’t willing to take that risk.

Gill’s eyes danced between Jay and the doorway in which the man was waiting for her. Jay could see his distress clear on her face and Jay was no doubt crying. She could feel her tears well-up and slip away. She couldn’t risk this. She couldn’t risk Gillion when they had no plan and Chip was nowhere to be found. 

“Please, Gill,” she pleaded. Her hands trembled, and her grip loosened. 

Gillion still didn’t move at all.

His gaze returned to Jay, and her face was pained. His ears were splayed wide, and a frown tugged on his lips. 

Good, she wanted to say, Stay with me, please.

“Jay,” Gillion whispered, “I have to save Felipe. It’s… It is my fault he is lost.”

“No, it isn’t!” She was crying now. And she should be ashamed because they were in the street and people were staring. She couldn’t care at that moment.

“It’s not your fault and- and if anything, it’s mine and Chip’s for talking so god damn loudly.”

She took his hand, gripped it as tightly as she gripped her bow, and turned Gill to face her. He was distressed, and she was emotional, and she was so beautiful.

She raised her hand and gently cupped Gill’s face in her palm. Her skin was smooth, and damp as always, and Jay traced the colored ridges with her thumb.

She cared about him. She cared about her too deeply. She was meant to be a spy, destined to betray them. And she had. Her hands still shook when she picked up her bow. 

She swallowed, and her lungs ached. “I can't lose you again.”

Gillion’s brows furrowed.

“But Jay, you have never-“

“I have!” She was fully crying now, and she let go of Gill’s face to wipe her tears.

“You have left us, whether you wanted to or not, but you still did. I didn’t-“

Jay gasped in a poor attempt to compose herself. She had disappeared before her eyes, and they were forced to continue onwards as if nothing had changed. There was an emptiness without his boisterous cheers to fill the silence. Plain air where there should be a shoulder for her to rest her hand on. A hand to hold.

“We didn’t know if you were even alive, Gill. It was just- It was horrible. I couldn’t breathe, but you were just… gone.” She moved her fingers to interlock them with Gill’s. His hands were soft and speckled with callouses. She squeezed them tight. She didn’t want to let go of her.

“Chip was the only reason I got through that carnival without you. And I don’t want to go through that again. Please, don’t make me go through that again.” 

She kept her eyes glued to their interlocked hands. She wasn’t good at this. She wasn’t good at caring or being true to her feelings. She couldn’t let Gillion go so easy, not when she could stop it. She didn’t know what she would do if Gillion didn’t make it out with them. 

Gill sighed a deep rumble from her chest and lifted a hand from Jay’s. She let it guide her head until she met Gill’s eyes. She still looked down to meet his gaze, but sometimes she forgot how small Gill really was. She distracted everyone with her confidence and sacrifices. It was easy to see past once you truly saw him. Her eyes were big, and warm, and melancholy. His ears were flipped down. For a moment, he looked guilty. But they breathed together in unison, and Jay wanted to hold him forever.

She wanted to ignore the war between the Navy, pirates, and the Undersea. She wanted to sail with the person she cared for too much for her own good. She wanted to learn everything there was to know about her. His hands were cold and damp, but the contact filled Jay head-to-toe with a warmth she was so new to.

Gill swallowed once, twice, and gave a tiny nod. 

“Okay,” he murmured.

Hope soared in Jay’s chest, and she smiled. It was somber and by no means perfect, but it was a smile. It was temporary safety. 

“I…” Gill paused, eyes flickering to their tangled hands. “I don’t want to cause you stress, and I do not want to lose you either, of course. We’ll stick together.”

Jay nodded, and her tears continued to pour. She was too in love for moments like these. She was too in love for their lifestyle. There would come a time they couldn’t stall or form a concrete plan but were forced to face the hardships. The prophecy and the Navy’s plans loomed darkly in the horizon, a warning of what was to come. For now, however, Jay would rather look into Gill’s eyes than the horizon.