#mailman!phil

[chicknonaraft]

"If anyone can crack this nut, it's Johan the Kindling Genius, I’m sure of it.”

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

[tetrapaec]

Dan and Phil wear this when they watch a movie together. It's true I was the mailman who delivered the package.

[qsmpficsarchive]

CHAPTER UPDATE!!!!

The Crow and The Mailman by Isaac_031

Ongoing | G | 14,601

Getting Together | Fantasy | Crow

Philza is a beautiful man loved by everyone in the region, but he wants to find someone who will truly love him. One day, he sets a chalenge: the one who can get the golden key from his pet crow and open the door to his house, he will marry.

Certain mailman has already befriended the crow.

——————

Some sweet bonding time with Phil and missa <3 hopefully missa can take the hint soon

[quinnhayden]

hey! I just finished rereading not the standard unit and I was completely re-blown away by how amazing of an author you are, and what good storylines youve created for this series!!! i CANNOT wait to see what is coming for cannon or future aus you will write and i am SO EXCITED for more domestic trio in the future!!!! if you are taking requests right now, I would really really really love to see a modern pre-serum steve with any version of quinn and bucky!!! just like a cute little first meeting or domestic fluff blurb/ficlet if you ever have time to write something like that!!! anyways, your writing is so amazing and I just can’t get enough of domestic Bucky in the 21st-century and I am a slut for any aus that contain him. keep being awesome!!!!

first of all...YOU ARE SO SWEET THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥹 also thanks for reminding me that i actually do have an AU that's been sitting unfinished for like two years. but it's basically modern!stevebucky with cap!quinn. bucky is an undercover shield agent that's assigned to watch over quinn out of the ice (like sharon in civil war). steve is his freelance artist hubby that doesn't know bucky works for shield, either. they're neighbors in clint's apartment building. so here! have steve finding out that quinn is soulmate! also let me shove my love for dragon age in here

As soon as Quinn opens the door and sees that it’s Steve on the other side, she slams it back in his face. “What’d I do?” Steve asks loudly because he doesn’t know she could hear him even if he whispered. She waits one whole minute before she slowly opens it back up, eyes narrowed at him. He holds up a plate of cinnamon rolls like he’s offering them up to appease her anger. She holds her glare a little bit more before she snatches the plate, turns around, and stomps away. She leaves the door open so that Steve knows he’s allowed inside.

“You told me I could be with anyone.” Quinn picks up the white video game case with a massive dragon on the front, red with some splotches of blood, body transparent so a person can see a few characters inside. It’s branded with the title Dragon Age: Origins. “I’ve tried and tried, but all Morrigan wants to be is friends!” Steve bursts out in a fit of laughter so loud and giddy that he clutches at his chest. She puts the case back on her coffee table, huffs, and angrily bites at a cinnamon roll, not caring that the icing will make her fingers all sticky.

“Sorry,” he breathes out when he’s done being a little shit. “I forgot that Alistair and Morrigan are straight.” He uses air quotes on that last word. He must think that it’s bullshit, too. “Also, in my defense, I honestly didn’t think that you’d be interested in a romance with her.”

“Why in the blue hell would you think that?”

“You seem like the kind of person that likes them soft and sweet like Alistair or Leliana. Morrigan is…a little mean and prickly at the start and you have to really work to be her friend let alone romance her as a male warden,” he explains carefully. “I didn’t think she was your type.”

She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Oh, yeah, a pretty lady that can be mean and put me in my place. Real turn off there. Do you know how she reacts when you give her the mirror? Steve, she’s adorable.” Quinn almost cried, this little fictional character was so cute and awkward. Quinn sighs in defeat before she admits, “Alistair was my second choice.”

“If you had a gaming computer, there are things called mods where you can alter the gameplay. So, you could romance Morrigan as a female warden.” She hadn’t noticed that, under his plate, he had a stack of mail in hand, too. “Clint was downstairs and told me to tell you politely to, and I quote, quit sitting around playing games all day and get your fucking mail. The mailman can’t fit much more in your box.”

“Oops.” She blushes and meekly takes the mail. The topmost letter is from the Social Security Administration. “Oh. I think this is my Social Security card.” Phil had mentioned she’d be getting some important documents soon. She’s finally an official living person again with a Social Security card, updated birth certificate, state ID—the works. He raises a brow as she rips the letter open. “I lost a lot of stuff in the move between here and Kentucky.” It’s technically the truth. Steve simply doesn’t know that there were seven decades between the moves.

Steve’s in the middle of a sip of his coffee when she pulls out the Social Security card. “There. I’m official now,” she proudly declares and flashes him the card that has QUINN ESTHER HAYDEN printed across the front. She knows she’s supposed to keep it private, but she doubts Steve will try to steal her identity. “Well, I’m…back to being official,” she adds lamely, still going with her lie.

Quinn doesn’t expect Steve to suddenly choke on his drink and spit some of it out on the floor. She yelps and takes an automatic step back then rushes around the mess to pat him on the back. He jerks away from her reach, waving her off, and she leaves her arm hanging there, confused to hell and back. “I’m sorry!” Steve squeaks between coughs and clearing his throat. “I—it—wow! That went down the wrong way!”

“Do you need—”

“Nope! I am okay!” Quinn’s not so sure about that. His entire face is flushed and redder than a tomato. Also, he speaks in that loud way someone does when they’re nervous. “Just need my inhaler! I should—I have to work!” Then, he whirls around and barrels full steam ahead, but forgot he closed the door because he whacks right into it. Before she even has the chance to ask him if he’s okay because he’s clearly not, he leaves her apartment like a bat out of hell.

“Uh?” she says dumbly to the silence of her apartment.

[codgod]

OH RIGHT THE UPDATED QG STUFF

SO. *clap*

biggest updates:

wilbur and dan are both human. wilbur was aviva’s idea as a way to explain why tallulah is being raised by phil, i’ve decided he’s gonna be the mailman

maxo is, in fact, our rose quartz [tho that may not end up being his gem? unsure rn]

the eggs aren’t pebbles anymore! also aviva’s idea. they’re earth kindergarten gems that the other gems take in and look after, sorta like amethyst in the show. their “parents” are just whoever finds them first. wilbur found tallulah while he was on a mail run just wandering around or maybe chilling in a hole somewhere so that’s why he’s her parent, they got attached. i think this is maybe gonna be an era 3 thing where the alignments don’t matter as much just so that homeworld and earth gems can still coparent but it could also work in era 2, just have like a lapis and peridot situation where some homeworld gems move to earth and defect later on

again. aviva’s idea, aypierre is a same-gem fusion. i don’t super understand pierre’s lore but e does so i’m trusting em on this lol

BASICALLY talking to my friend about this helped a lot and some things make a lot more sense now. and i think all the eggs are gonna be different gems, just for fun. or at the very least they’re not all gonna be the same gem type

[deatherella]

Delilah Update

Everyone's just been hanging out and doing their own things. Don just has that "get me outta here" look on his face while Phil is chatting away to him.

You'll recall from the last update that Delilah was making wishes?

George, Delilah's father, loves to come see his grandkids.

Delilah took a cue from Atomica and persuaded the mailman to make some grilled cheese sandwiches. A different dish and aspiration points. BONUS!

Two of the kids aged up during that week. Kezia is a teen, now, and Pippi has become a toddler.

[deeeshka-14]

new fullbody Phil!!!! he's mailman, working for pizzahead!!! he brings letters around all the tower(no one gives him money but he believes that someone will) u can ask me about him if you want to<3 also you can reblog, like or comment!!!

[nysocboy]

Modern Family Episode 5.17: Gay stereotypes, jokes, accusations, Adam Devine, and a nude Dylan bonus

I watched the first five seasons of Modern Family (2009-2014), but stopped when we moved to streaming services.  Back then, I posted about rampant gay stereotyping and explicit homophobia, especially with Adam Devine (Andy the Nanny). I don't remember why, so to check, I reviewed Episode 5.17 (2014), the last before the two-part season finale.

Note: There are 12 members of the Modern Family, so pairs and trios split up for separate plots.  Although they are scattered through the episodes, I will cover them separately.

Set-Up: Family dinner at Patriarch Jay's house.  He suggests watching basketball next, adding with a sneer that his adult son Mitchell wouldn't be interested because he is gay.  Mitchell counters: "Unlike you, I don't need a reason to watch men in shorts."  The possibility that men might find basketball players attractive ruins the game for Jay.  Forget Andy -- Jay is the homophobic one!  

The A Plot:Mitchel and Cam, the gay couple, and teenagers Manny and Alex (a girl).   They are all going to an art museum to see a Kandinsky Exhibit.  Jay finds it inconceivable that a straight boy would be interested in art.

On the way, they criticize the rest of the family's lack of refinement.  Jay buys his books at the grocery store!  The best way to get Claire to fall asleep is to show her a movie with subtitles!  

Then they discover that the Kandinsky exhibit is closed!  Problem: Cameron doesn't know anything about art, so he read up on Kandinsky so he wouldn't be embarrassed.  But now they're discussing Matisse, and he 's lost.  After making a fool of himself, he goes to wait in the car.  Dude, art is for everybody. They have self-guided tours and texts to help you understand everything.

 Next Mitchell reveals that he doesn't know anything about art either.  He leaves in embarrassment. Two remain.  But Manny doesn't know anything about art, either!  Why did they want to go?

 I'll skip ahead to the D Plot:

The D Plot: Claire's husband Phil, her daughter Haley, the nanny Andy (Adam Devine)  He is trying to think of a romantic anniversary gift for his girlfriend, who is deployed out in the Coast Guard. Maybe banana bread?  Phil suggests making her a video instead, depicting all of the things he's willing to do for her.

First up:  pretending to be swimming underwater with sharks (no beefcake).  Whoops, Haley walks into the frame, ruining it!   She suggests a visit instead, but the girlfriend is doesn't get shore leave very often. 

Andy's face is shining, so Phil goes off to fetch some makeup.  He is careful to specify that it's his WIFE's makeup, so Andy won't think that he's gay.  What's with the homophobia? 

Haley's date is late.  Andy gets all conciliatory: "that's rude.  A real man would be more considerate of the most incredibly beautiful, wonderful woman on the face of the Earth."  You have a girlfriend, remember?

Next segment: Andy skiing in the snow.  Haley is not impressed.

Third segment: Andy with a rose, preparing to give a romantic speech, but he doesn't know where to look.  Phil: "Just look deeply into my eyes, and sweep me off my feet."  Running gag: Phil says innocent things that make it sound like he's gay.  Viewers are supposed to chortle over it: how humiliating to have people think you're one of those...  

Nope, Andy thinks it's too weird to pretend to be in love with a man.  Maybe Haley could help out?  And you know what happens next, right?

When the video is finished, Andy asks "How can I thank you?" Phil: "The next time you're with your girlfriend, think of me."  See what I mean?

About the video: "I'm giving this to the mailman, who will give it to the Coast Guard, and by this time tomorrow, someone will be giving it to my girlfriend."  Geez, this show is dirty. but at least that one isn't "accusing" Phil of being gay.

The full review, with the other plots and nude photos of Reid Ewing (Haley's other boyfriend), is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

[phregnancy]

interesting, i've literally never see anyone be that way about phil but im also not on twitter. most people here i see are just like 'nah can't see it personally' and yet people still get so mad about it. the reason i could see dan in a skirt has less to do with it being fem and more to do with him thinking he's 'serving a look' if that makes sense - kind of like his sad mailman romper, which i actually kind of liked, or the leather shirt which........ lmao. or the grippy sock shirt or those tiny black cucumber sunglasses. etc etc. like it's more about him thinking he's Doing Something with fashion

i get what you’re saying but i still don’t really see it, at least not with his current fashion sense and capabilities. he tries to be a little adventurous but is still relatively tame, he buys nice pieces but struggles styling them. maybe if he had a stronger and more adventurous sense of style i could see it but not now!

[fardell24b]

Daria's Rugrats - Tommy's Birthday - Part 2

Soon, three year old Angelica and her father, Drew, had arrived. She walked over to the playpen area. She saw Daria eye her suspiciously. “Hi, Daria,” she said.

Daria put the book she was reading aside. “Hi, Angelica. I'm going to make sure you don't bother the babies too much, especially on my brother's birthday.”

“I don't bother the babies.”

“I know you do. They clearly don't enjoy your company.”

“I don't know what you mean,” Angelica said innocently.

Daria was a little annoyed and glared at her. “You know exactly what I mean. Your 'I'm Drew and Charlotte's perfect princess' doesn't fool me. You can talk to the babies, but I will be listening.”

“Yes. I am their princess,” Angelica said as she did a pirouette. She then turned from Daria to where her younger cousin was waiting.

“Hi, Angelica!” Tommy said.

“Listen,” Angelica whispered, trying to not let Daria listen in. “This may be your birthday, but when the presents are opened, I get first dibs on the toys!”

“Angelica!” Daria said in a warning tone.

“Um, second dibs?” Angelica corrected.

Daria narrowed her eyes, but turned back to her book.

“Say, Angelica, do you know anything about... Dog food?” Tommy asked.

“What about dog food?” Angelica asked.

“Tommy thinks if you eat some, maybe you turn into a dog,” Chuckie answered.

“You mean I could wear a collar with spikes on it?” Angelica asked.

“And chase cats!” Phil said.

“And howl at the moon!” Lil added.

“Could I even bite the mailman?” Angelica asked quietly.

The twins nodded.

“Let's do it,” Angelica decided.

“Yeah, let's get some dog food,” Tommy said.

“What about Daria?” Chuckie asked.

“Let me think about that,” Tommy said as he grabbed a piece of paper. He then drew the plan.

Tommy threw something with a clatter.

“What was that?” Daria asked as she put her book aside. She looked around.

While Daria was looking around, Tommy used the opportunity to slip out of the playpen. Daria noticed that he had slipped out as she saw her maternal grandparents arrive.

“Hi, Mom. Hi Dad,” Didi said.

“And where is Tommy, may I ask?” Minka Kropotkin asked. She spotted him near the dog bowl. “There he is,” she said as he picked him up.

“Hela bobe,” It was Daria.

“Hela, Darya, ir vert beser,” she responded, saying that her Yiddish was getting better.

Daria gave a small smile.

“Aun du vaxt, kleyne,” she said to Tommy, noting that he was bigger than when she had last seen him. She handed him to Daria before following her daughter to the living room.

It was time to open the presents.

“Let's see. This one's from Drew,” Didi said.

After a short commotion, the present was opened. Stu turned to his brother. “Gee, Drew, do you really think this'll stimulate a small kid's imagination? I mean, what does it do? Heh! Where are the batteries?”

Tommy backed up as the twins ran up to the toy fire engine. Lil grabbed the front and her brother grabbed the back. There was a brief tug of war, before Angelica took it off them. Daria glared at her cousin before taking it in turn and giving it back to the twins.

“Hey, Tommy,” Stu said. “here's a present from your old dad! Watch this, Drew!" He opened the box revealing his invention, the Hoverama.

The other adults all stared in confusion.

“What is that thing?” Boris asked.

“This is the Hoverama,” Stu explained.

“Stu, are you off your nut? Tommy's not old enough for that gizmo! Heh, heck, I'm not even old enough for it!" Lou said.

“Anyone can work this thing, Pop! Here, let me show you!" He then played around with the remote before he realised that he forgot to put the batteries in it.

While the adults, and Daria, were occupied with one of the presents, Tommy wandered off, but Didi saw him before he got too far. "Oh, you still have all these wonderful presents to open!" She put him back next to the presents.

But Tommy didn't want to open the presents. He started crying.

Didi picked him up again. "Yes, sweetie, yes." She patted him on the back. She turned around. “This party's a disaster,” she cried out as she saw the Hoverama was embedded in the cake.

“I wouldn't say that,” Daria said.

“She's got a point,” Lou said.

“What point is that?” Didi asked.

“People are still here for his birthday,” Daria said.

“All they saw was a disaster,” Didi said.

“Great party, huh?” Stu said. “Too bad about the cake, huh?”

“Still edible!” Daria commented.

“She has a point,” her father said as he went up to the cake. He tasted it. “What kind of cake is this? It should have been chocolate! In the old country, you never had a carrot cake at a birthday party! “

Minka tasted the cake herself. “This isn't the old country, or haven't you noticed, Mr. Chocolate Cake?”

“For your information, Yenta, chocolate cake is international!” Boris said.

“Oh, suddenly, he’s Mr. International!”

Daria sighed as her maternal grandparents started arguing in Yiddish. ‘Why is it, that families argue at these times.’ She shook her head. She knew what happened when she thought about that for too long.

“Dad, you're right, we should have had a chocolate cake! Mom, you're right, it's none of his business!” her mother said.

Lou was exasperated. All this new stuff Stu and Didi were into was stuff he didn’t really understand. What he knew was that he had raised Drew and Stu well despite being old fashioned. He saw that Spike was hungry and grabbed some dog food for him and put it in his bowl. He then looked at where Daria was observing the chaos from the couch. ‘They have done well with her despite the nonsense,’ he thought.

The babies and Angelica went up to the dog food and all ate some of it. Only Phil liked the taste. “You know, I kind of like the taste.”

“When’s this stuff start working anyway?” Angelica asked.

“Maybe it takes a while,” Chuckie said.

“Wait a minute! I feel something,” Tommy said. “Woof Woof Woof.”

Daria looked as the babies and Angelica played around pretending to be dogs. ‘The usual antics,’ she thought. ‘At least the party wasn’t a total disaster.’

[anxiouspotato]

Hey friends! It's December 10 somehow... it's been chaotic since September, so please accept my apologies... if we're being honest, Tumblr was the last thing on my mind. I finally have a free minute, and was reminded by a friend that I still haven't posted a song, so here I am! This month, I decided to go old school with some Phil Vassar and "Just Another Day in Paradise." I'd like to say this song sums up my last few months perfectly. I've been swamped with exams, homework, and work (and being beat up by my patients at work 😂) and me time has definitely taken a backseat, though at the end of the day, my family and friends have had my back, and each day is just another day in paradise. Whenever I'm frustrated, or annoyed, or ready to give up, I like to think about this song, and the reminder that each day is "Just Another Day in Paradise" and should be treated as such. The reminder to step back and find good is usually exactly what I need. I hope everybody has been doing well, and I'll probably be back in January (feel free to wake me up if I'm not). I hope everybody is doing well, and has a great December. Happy Holidays!

Lyrics:

The kids screaming, phone ringing Dog barking at the mailman Bringing that stack of bills, overdue Good morning, baby, how are you? Got a half hour, a quick shower Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour My funny face makes you laugh Twist the top on and I put it back

There goes the washing machine Baby, don't kick it Promise I'll fix it Long about a million other things

Well, it's ok, it's so nice It's just another day in paradise Well, there's no place that I'd rather be Well, it's two hearts and one dream I wouldn't trade it for anything And I ask the Lord every night, ooh For just another day in paradise

Friday, you're late I guess we'll never make our dinner date At the restaurant you start to cry Baby, we'll just improvise Well, plan B looks like Dominoes' pizza in the candlelight Then we'll tippy toe to our room Make a little love that's overdue

But somebody had a bad dream Mama and daddy Can me and my teddy Come in to sleep in between?

Yeah, it's ok, it's so nice Just another day in paradise Well, there's no place that I'd rather be Well, it's two hearts and one dream I wouldn't trade it for anything And I ask the Lord every night, ooh For just another day in paradise

Oh, well, it's ok, it's so nice Just another day in paradise Well, there's no place that I'd rather be, yeah There's two hearts and one dream I wouldn't trade it for anything And I ask the Lord every night, ooh For just another day in paradise

For just another day in paradise, oh yeah Well, it's the kids screaming, the phone ringing Just another day, yeah (just another day in paradise) Well, it's Friday, you're late Oh, yeah (Paradise) yeah, yeah It's just another day in paradise (paradise)

[chicknonaraft]

“Ahoy-hoy, post call from Aveila.” croaked the mailman.

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

*on the other side's Phil! Ultra's local mailman! who after the first couple incidents! does know Enchantberus well enough- to not DIE of a heart attack when she answers the door!- Ultra's STILL covering the guy's legal bills from that lawsuit from the one from when Jackxy was a toddler AND the guy before Phil- *

"Hello, Phil." Enchantberus says through through the door

[qsmpficsarchive]

CHAPTER UPDATE!!!!!

The Crow and the Mailman by Isaac_031

Ongoing | Not Rated | 11,549

Getting Together | Fantasy? | Crowza

Philza is a beautiful man loved by everyone in the region, but he wants to find someone who will truly love him. One day, he sets a chalenge: the one who can get the golden key from his pet crow and open the door to his house, he will marry.

Certain mailman has already befriended the crow.

——————

ooooooooo phil has been COOKING!!!

[delawareriver]

dan and phil have me understanding how my dog feels when she waits for the mailman to come for an hour

[dylan-the-gay]

I hate being a multishiper and see one of my ships having a sad ending <:(((

(I ship q!forever with q!Max, q!bbh and q!phil)

@gender-mailman

Well i am faithful to my ship so I don't suffer(i suffer)(it is more dead then everything possibly)(its philever)