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sunkaashi · 4 years ago

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solo carol — oikawa toru x reader

genre: angst with a fluff twist.

warnings: none.

word count: 1.6k

synopsis: sometimes, the holidays can bring out the best and the worst feelings in ourselves. being away from home during this time of year just makes it specially harder. oikawa toru always knew exactly what he wanted in life, but he never thought achieving his dreams would cost him so much.

tris' note: this was inspired by the song “only the brave” by louis tomlinson, but i'd say I added a lil of a twist to it. if you want, you can listen to it to help you get into the narrative. reblogs are always deeply appreciated and help me tons! ♡

a special thanks to @tetsunation for reading the first draft to this, and to @hcn421 for helping me with my block ♡

Shades of red and yellow illuminated the street cobblestones, the gleaming Christmas lights guiding his way to a yet unknown destination. As he walked down the avenue, Oikawa let his eyes wander all over his surroundings, his gaze running almost as fast as his mind did. Despite that, Toru paced slowly along the sidewalk, soaking in the scenery before him. It really was a beautiful view.

But it wasn’t about the garlands wrapped around the streetlights, nor the shiny golden ornaments that delicately hanged from them. Even the decorated trees didn’t quite catch his attention that night. It was something else that fought for his heart instead. Something that he hadn’t had a taste of for a while now.

And tonight, his undying desire felt like being parched while standing in front of the sea.

Cheerful laughs echoed through the air as little children sprinted past him, unaware of the man’s presence. Yet, he didn’t mind, his sheepish giggle joining theirs. Downtown street bars buzzed with loud chatter, smiles painted on unfamiliar faces as a natural halo appeared to involve every single one of them. The warmth Oikawa felt rushing through his core had nothing to do with the sultry weather, rather, it emanated from that sight before his eyes.

Still, he seemed to lack a light of his own, and basking in other people’s glow, as joyful as it may be, comes with a price. Toru was left alone, only his shadow accompanying him through the night.

Staring at his silhouette reflecting onto the ground, the man moved his hand out of the pocket and to his nape, carefully watching his own contour mirroring him in every move. And even with every step taken that assured him a bond between himself and the dark figure, he still felt like something was out of place.

Oikawa could feel his slouched shoulders pushing him down. For a man who always stood with his head held high, there was only so much he could take. As he dragged his feet through the curb, he asked himself when it all changed so fast.

A quiver took over his body as if he refused to admit to that idea. He had it all, didn’t he? He sneered, lightly shaking his head. If he acted tough enough, maybe his thoughts would catch up to his actions, right? At least that’s what he wanted to believe.

Cracking his neck, he looked up to the clear summer sky, determined to push those thoughts away as if doing so would make it all magically fall back into place. As his eyes met the silver shimmer from the stars, which were shining a little brighter than they usually did, he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the beauty of it. Most of all, he was struck by what it reminded him of. He thought back to Miyagi. To Japan. To home.

“Oji-san!” His nephew came running down in his direction, almost knocking him over with all the strength in his little body. “You’ll never believe what Santa got me for Christmas! Guess it, guess it!”

“Wow, calm down, kiddo!” Toru laughed as he held the 6-year-old into his arms. “Hm, let me think…” He said looking up to the ceiling and softly clasping his chin. “Legos?”

“Better than that!” The little guy answered while squinting in joy, eyes twinkling in a way his uncle had never seen before.

“Hm, a bike?” He asked calmly, messing with the kid, knowing that was the present he’d gotten last Christmas. The teenager tried to hold back a giggle, but mocking his nephew was just too much fun.

“No, oji-san! It’s the coolest gift ever! Try again!”

“Is it a rocketship?” Toru said, widening his stare like even himself would be excited if that was the case. But the child sighed, rolling his eyes. Hiding a smirk, the older boy decided to stop playing around, finally giving in to the youngster’s wishes. “I give up! I have no idea! What is it!?"

“A volleyball! Just like yours!”

Oikawa smiled at the reminiscences lingering in the air, the memories immersing his senses back to the time and place he never wanted to leave. Closing his eyes, he could still feel the ghost of his nephew’s embrace, a tight and cozy grasp around his neck, saying more than words ever could. But his daydream didn’t last long enough to suppress the void hoovering his heart. As soon as he opened his lids, he was taken back to reality.

And then, just when he thought there was nothing else that could haunt him that night, a sore sight caught his attention, putting out the last flicker of flame that rested in his almond eyes.

It was just a glimpse, just some little specks of sand running down the hourglass of his life. Those few seconds usually would barely mean anything in the long run, but tonight that was enough to wash away his beam. Slightly furrowing his brows into a hurtful look, he tried to fight back the tears threatening to fall down his face.

An innocent couple running across the street, hands intertwined in a knot while brief chuckles scaped now and then, an exchange of accomplice looks giving out their most clandestine thoughts. It was at that moment, when unforgiving loneliness meets undeniable happiness, that Toru fell apart.

Slowly, he made his way to the building next to him, leaning his back onto the brick walls of the construction. He stood there, swallowing down the feelings that begged him to be screamed out.

He always knew he’d have to make sacrifices for his dreams. But all out of all the things he missed, there was only one that he would never forgive himself for letting go. And as he watched love surrounding him from every corner, it was impossible not to think of it. Not to think of you.

Raindrops cascaded down the windows of the apartment as the man dove himself further under the covers. Shrinking his body between the sheets, Oikawa felt a too familiar touch enveloping his torso, comforting him with a warmth that even sunlight could not compete with.

“Couldn’t you just stay like this all day?” Toru groaned as his fingers found their way to your locks, gently caressing your hair.

“Mhm?” You hummed in response, too disoriented by your lack of sleep to even process what he was saying. Leisurely, you opened one of your eyes to peek at your boyfriend, lips instantly curling up into a smirk.

“Nothing, love” He chortled. Oikawa didn't need to ask you again, he’d found his answer in the way you looked at him.

"Someone woke up in a good mood." You said, trying to tease the boy. "Santa must've gotten you a very special gift."

"I'm looking at it right now."

Brushing against your skin, his other hand played with the buttons of your shirt, the one you were too tired to take off the night before.

“I’m going to miss this. Miss you.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Not now, at least”

“But soon you will” You paused, a heavy silence filling the room. “Toru…" Before you could finish your sentence, he delicately pushed you away, placing one of his hands onto your chin, obliging you to look into his eyes.

"Please… Let’s not think about that now.” Pulling you closer to his body, he held you tighter and tighter by the minute, afraid that if he ever let go, you’d slip away.

And you did.

Looking back at it, he regretted everything. All the words left unsaid, all the things he should've done so that he’d have you in his arms right now. But you couldn't leave it all behind just to follow him to the other side of the world. Even if you wanted to, he would've never had the heart to ask you such a thing.

So you both decided to break it off.

Yet, it had been two years and there wasn’t a single day when you didn’t cross his mind. And right now, when the pounding sound of bells resonated throughout the air, bringing him back to earth, Oikawa believed it must’ve been some kind of sign that you were the person he was thinking about. It was only then that Toru realized he was standing at a church.

Step by step, he moved away from the wall, drawn by the chimes warning him that it was already midnight. Christmas time. Walking towards the olden gates of the holy ground, he contemplated the image in front of him, being hit by one final blow.

Families gathered all around the church, the words "Merry Christmas" being repeated over and over again as everyone exchanged smiles and caring hugs. Even if he wasn't necessarily a religious person himself, let alone christian, Toru still felt inspired by the passion radiating from them.

As the mass finally started, the loud buzzing of the crowd quieting down, he closed his eyes, his mind transporting him to the place he wanted to be.

So he decided to pray. Pray for his loved ones. Pray for you.

He asked for your health, for your well-being, for your happiness and, as much as it hurt him, for you to find love too. The loneliness he felt was something he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemies, and you just happened to be one of his favorite people in the world.

Oikawa didn't even know whom he was praying to. Even so, his wishes were so pure that someone must've heard him because it was in the moment he said his last prayers that his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. A call coming in.

When he saw the name that popped on the screen, Toru thought his eyes were probably deceiving him. That's just what his heart wanted to see.

But as soon as he picked up the phone, your unmistakable voice woke him in a rush.

Maybe there was something magical about the holidays after all.

#oikawa angst #oikawa x you #oikawa x reader #hq oikawa #oikawa toru #toru oikawa x you #toru oikawa x reader #oikawa toru angst #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu angst #seijoh angst #toru oikawa #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x y/n #constellations ✨

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deathonyourtongue · 4 years ago

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Resurrection | 10

Summary: A ragtag team of Spec-Ops operators are brought out of retirement for all the wrong reasons. When the dust settles, only the best will be left standing. Pairing: Pablo Schreiber x OFC, Henry Cavill x OFC (listen, she gets with the whole team, okay? Don’t lie, you would too.) Word Count: 2.6K Warnings: Nothing much really. A/N: The one you’ve all been waiting for! 😈

As the unofficial dad of the team, none of us are surprised when Rick floats the tab not only for dinner, but for the strip club afterwards.

“You gonna give us money for working girls too, pops?” Dom jokes as he shuffles past, collecting the money Rick’s doling out and patting his shoulder gratefully as he does so. It’s the same with the rest of the team, each of us getting enough money for two lap dances if we choose to, although I have a feeling we’ll end up pooling our funds towards the end of the night for a group dance.

We’re good and liquored up by the time we make it through the doors of Prowler, the bass of the music reverberating through our chest as we file into the VIP area, two bottles of champagne there to greet us. Sitting between Max and Jake, it’s not long before I have a glass in my hand, raising it to toast a reunion none of us imagined possible.

“To the walking dead. If you two fuckers ever go off on your own again, I’ll personally drag you back and kill you both. Love you guys.” Rick grins as our glasses clink, all of us nodding our agreement.

Before long, I feel a head slump on my shoulder, and looking down, find Jake, eyes at half mast. The realization that this is the first time he’s probably been able to relax since everything happened is a sobering thought, and in that moment, I want nothing more than to drag both he and Benji back to our safehouse and curl up with them until they both get as much sleep as they deserve. Logically, I know this is the only respite we’ll get until Wallace is in the ground, but it doesn’t stop me from wishing for more.

“You should get up there and show Lil’ Miss Daddy Issues how it’s really done,” Jake grins, giving me a wink to make sure I know he’s kidding.

“As tempting as that is, I feel like my time’s come and gone,” I laugh, shaking my head and earning a raised eyebrow from Max.

“I’m sorry, I thought I heard you disparage yourself, love,” Max comments during a lull between songs, one hand scratching at his short hair before he gently strokes a lock of mine behind my ear.

“It’s the truth. I’m not built the same way I used to be. And I’m definitely not as flexible.” Giving him an appreciative smile, I stroke his cheek in much the same way I had Jake’s, though Max nuzzles into my touch far more.

“Bet Max is dying to find out just how flexible you are.” Jake smirks, earning a light swat from me just as one of the girls comes around, offering herself up for a lap dance.

“If he wants to, it’s his,” I grin at Jake as I hold up my night’s allowance, figuring if I can’t beat ‘em, I may as well join ‘em.

Both Jake and Max’s eyebrows go up as I shift in my seat, making room for the dancer to grind in my lap. As the music thumps through the nearby speakers, the redhead slowly takes off her top, giving all the boys a front row seat.

Discreetly watching their reactions, it’s easy for me to spot the fact that out of all the boys, Max is the only one who seems ill at ease with the situation. It confuses me, because a few weeks prior, he was in the same position I’m in, and was only bothered when I took the girl away in favor of dragging him along on this mission. Although I’ll be the first to admit that his behavior’s changed in the last little while, this feels like another level, even for Max; like a breaking point.

Before I can even determine what to do, Jake flashes a $100 at the dancer and pats his lap, giveing me a kid-in-the-candy-store grin. Shaking my head, I’m about to say something, when I feel a tug on my hand. Looking to my left, I find Max standing and motioning his chin towards the exit, looking for all the world like this is the last place he wants to be.

I shoot a quick look back to the rest of the team, doing my best not to laugh as I find them entranced by three different girls, all of them vying for the attention of men who aren’t over 60 and actually know how to dress. Satisfied that they’re all occupied, I let Max pull me under his arm as we step outside, the comparative silence of London at night one that makes me instinctively shake my head to clear it.

“Where we going?” I smirk, my voice a little sing-songy as Max looks both ways before jaywalking us towards the direction of the safehouse.

“Home,” he smiles, tucking me back in. Although the stroll through the more historic part of town is a nice change of scenery, there’s no missing the fact that both Max and I are keeping our heads on a swivel, both of us keenly aware of everything that’s led us here.

Scanning our thumbs to get into the safehouse, I only manage to get my heels off before I feel Max pull me close, our lips colliding gently.

“Hey,” I murmur once we both pull back for air, my hands cupping his bearded face and forcing his gaze to lock with mine. “Are you sure? Or did I misread and you’re just planning another movie night?” I ask softly, not wanting Max to go any further than he feels comfortable with.

“If yesterday taught me anything, it’s that we don’t often get second chances, and that I may very well have been wasting what could be my only shot. That, and well...I love you, Carmen.”

I must recoil a bit, because a look of disappointment crosses Max’s face.

“Max,” I start, holding onto his face with just a bit more firmness, not wanting him to assume the worst. “In our line of work--”

“I know all about the superstitions and the old wives’ tales, Carmen. I just...After this I’m out, and I hope you are too. I want to enjoy what’s left of our lives, you know? Don’t want to keep looking over my shoulder forever.”

“I was out until this happened, so I understand, but Max..Me? Really?”

The tension leaves his face in lieu of a relieved and joy-filled smile, Max pulling me close and kissing me deeply. I sink into his arms, his mouth moving against mine without hurry as he walks us back towards my room.

I kick the door closed, hearing the woosh of the automatic lock behind us at the same time that Max’s calves hit the bed frame. Smirking, I push him back, enjoying the confusion on his face.

“I’m not exactly Mrs. Robinson, but I just might be trying to seduce you,” I joke, lifting one leg onto the chair across from the bed and slowly pushing down one of the thigh highs I’m wearing while simultaneously putting on some music, hellbent on making his first time as memorable as possible.

I watch Max sit up, his eyes roving over my body as he leans back on his elbows. Never has a man looked at me with more hunger and more love, and I know that tonight will either end quickly, or cause us both to walk into tomorrow’s meeting a little sleep-deprived; I’m hoping for the second option.

Though I have as many questions as I’m sure all the guys do when it comes to Max and his situation, I put them aside, focusing instead on being present and reading his body language for any sign of anxiety. Swaying my hips in time with the music, I come close enough for him to reach, only to pull away just before he can, sticking my tongue out teasingly as I slowly strip for him.

I make sure to face him when I drop my bra, not missing the tent in his slacks or the adoring look in his eyes. Max sits up further when I straddle his thighs, his hand slipping up my back as his lips find my breasts on instinct. I let my eyes close as he takes his fill, grinding against him without shame, learning how his body responds to mine.

Blindly, I push Max’s jacket off his broad shoulders, my fingers finding the buttons on his shirt soon after, a soft inhale escaping me when I feel his teeth gently nip in just the right spot. Raking my hand through his curls, I pull back just enough to admire a body I know he’s worked hard for.

Max uses my distractedness to his advantage, flipping us around so that my back is against the mattress. I let out a whoop of surprise, laughing softly as I watch him practically tear his clothes off, leaving only his black boxer briefs on, the thin fabric leaving little to the imagination. If the bulge is any indication, he’s big, and I’ve got my work cut out for me.

I motion for him to come back to me with both hands, and he obliges with a big grin, kissing his way up my body even as he pulls off what’s left of my clothes, leaving only my g-string intact. Neither of us hesitate as we eachother’s lips once more, Max cupping my breasts while I let my hand slip over his bulge, feeling a tingle go through me when he responds with a shiver and a thrust closer.

Pushing him back so that he’s sitting on his heels, I let my gaze flit between the waist of his briefs and his own blue orbs as I slowly pull down the material. His cock springs out, hard as marble and my eyes go wide, having expected the length, but not the girth that comes with it.

“Suddenly, your call sign makes so much more sense,” I shake my head with a smirk, waiting for Max to tug his briefs the rest of the way off before I take hold of his hips. Eyes meeting his again, I kiss through the thick thatch of hair that leads from his belly button to his base, feeling the jolt of anticipation go through him.

Max cards a hand through my hair as I lick my way up to his tip, a soft sound of enjoyment leaving my lips as I collect the precum drooling from his slit. I can’t help my smile when Max inhales sharply, the reaction making it clear that he’s been honest about never being with anyone.

Holding onto his muscular thigh with one hand, my other gently cups his sac, rolling gently as my lips seal around his shaft. Max’s breathing increases as every lick and suck brings a new feeling he’s never experienced before.

“Oh fuck!” He pants out, gripping my hair a little tighter as I take him all the way down, swallowing around his head before pulling back with a gasp of my own. I can’t help but moan as I lick down his shaft once more, popping his balls in my mouth to further tease him.

I can feel Max get close as his muscles contract, and with one last lick to his tip, I lay back, waiting to see what he’ll do. Max doesn’t hesitate, nearly diving between my legs, eyes wide with need. His enthusiasm earns a giggle from me, one that’s quickly silenced as he kisses over the sheer material of my g-string. Sitting up, I stroke my fingers through his curls, appreciating how good his mouth feels against my most sensitive area.

A soft moan escapes me when Max pulls the thin fabric aside and lets his tongue slip through my folds, the feeling reminding me of our deeper kisses and causing the same weightless sensation he’s so good at making me feel when we’re cuddled in bed. I lay back, putty in his hands as he lifts my legs over his shoulders, taking off my final piece of clothing as he does.

“Darling?” Max’s voice is hoarse but gentle, the question in his tone equal parts uncertain and hopeful.

“Bare, babe. Want to feel nothing but you inside me,” I answer, having already felt the swollen head of his cock brushing against my entrance; it’s one of the most arousing sensations I’ve experienced in a long time.

With a kiss to my calf, Max pushes his hips forward, groaning softly when he slides in with ease. I can’t help but reach up and cup his face, smiling as I experience the moment with him. Knowing how long he’s waited, I don’t take it lightly, honored to be his first.

“Feels so good inside you,” he whispers, eyes still wide, as though any minute he’ll wake from his dream.

Biting my lower lip, I can’t help but roll my hips, grinning ear to ear when my movement elicits a choked noise and a look of utter bliss. The growl Max gives me sobers any laughter, and before I can even open my mouth to squeal, his body is covering mine and his hips are rutting.

My mouth falls open in utter shock as Max cocoons my body in his arms, his lips searing every inch of skin he can find, while his thrusts push me up the bed an inch at a time. I can almost see stars at the crown of Max’s head as he brings me up so that I’m nearly seated on his thighs, his cock going even deeper and making the breath catch in my throat.

His lips find mine for a torrid kiss, Max’s pace picking up as he shifts the angle once more, making me moan loudly as his hips grind into my clit while his cock sweeps my g-spot relentlessly. There’s no doubt that Max’s need is primal, born from years of waiting for this very moment. Our gazes meet and I can’t stop myself from cupping his face, seeing beyond the lust to the depth of his feelings beneath and knowing that after tonight, nothing will be the same.

Max comes with a cry of my name, and I follow suit, gasping and jolting my hips, having never experienced an orgasm as intense as the one he’s given me. By the time he rolls us to our sides, our bodies still connected, tears are streaming down my face.

Everyone’s heard about the elusive orgasm so good it makes you cry, but I never thought it was true; until now.

“What’s wrong, love? Did I hurt you?” Max’s voice holds a razor’s edge of panic, and though I manage to shake my head and smile, the tears won’t stop.

“I j-just...I’ve never...Y-you love me?” I stammer out nonsensically, burying my face in Max’s chest as I feel his arms tighten around me.

“Yes, darling, I love you. I’ve loved you for a very, very long time. I’ve just been too chicken shit to do anything about it until recently. I love you with all my heart and I’m not sure I’ll be able to spend another day without you.”

I look up as Max brushes my hair off my face, finding his gaze filled with the same tenderness, love and devotion that I’ve seen in his blue orbs time and time again over the years. My face finds his chest as the sobs come once more, Max chuckling softly as he holds me close.

#pablo schreiber #henry cavill #pablo schreiber x ofc #henry cavill x ofc #resurrection #deathonyourtongueoriginals

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shozaii · 5 years ago

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Hello! May I ask of a hc of shinsou,Todoroki,and Kirishima having a quirkless s/o whose determined to become a hero so they team up with hatsume to create an iron man suit replica they can use in battle? (They are basically Ironman but since they can’t call themselves iron man cause reasons they just call themselves Iron Maiden, don’t ask how she got into UA she has her ways lol) Thxs!

(a/n): hello anon! i’m so sorry this took a while as i had some other stuff to do argh. but i hope this one is worth it because iron man is my favorite hehe. and i also received your other ask! enjoy!

requests are still open!!💜

•••

iron maiden.

warnings: none!

kirishima❤️

so, so supportive of you.

when he found out you were quirkless, it didn’t matter to him! all that he was happy about was you wanting to pursue your dreams regardless of anything coming your way.

“heroes don’t always need a quirk! in fact, i think you’re even more manlier than me,” he wiped away tears of joy.

precious, i swear.

“thank you, kiri. i won’t let you down!”

“babe! you’ve never! you’re definitely not gonna let the whole world down either!”

he recommended you to check in with mei hatsume, the literal brains of technology. he remembered you keeping a lot of spare parts of your failed attempts, so he told you to bring them along to her.

“a creation of new babies? god, it’s probably going to be my 1000th one!”

let’s be honest, she has more.

eijirou makes sure you get some rest, because he knows the amount of times you’ve stayed up late.

he visits you sometimes 🥺

so the both of you finally came out with something so cool even mei couldn’t believe her eyes.

“a nanotech suit! one touch and you’re all good to go!”

you were in TEARS

sooner or later, you had your hero name! and it was called iron maiden. sounds majestic. he’s gonna love it

you needed eijirou to see this, but perhaps it shall be a surprise. but you did tell him your hero name. it interested him even more, because he knows you’ve been working on a lot of suits before consulting mei about it.

“i’m so proud of you, cupcake! you have to show me,” you could hear him pout through the phone.

“the time will come, eiji. you would love it!”

so it was, during an intense battle drill. it was finally time for you to shine brighter than ever.

as mei mentioned, you placed it on your chest, bracing for the impact.

eijirou was shook. what were you doing during this serious time? you did tell him about a surprise, but it wasn’t you appearing at this kind of time, right?

and so it came. the suit began to wrap around your body, fitting you in nicely. under 10 seconds, you were ready.

his mouth was open wide.

so this was the surprise, he smiled widely.

you took off, with rocket like feet attached to the soles of your newly built armor. your hands were your extra guide, balancing you off ground.

with a blast, you flew as fast as you could, bringing strong winds along with you. everyone watched carefully as you easily put off so many obstacles coming your way.

he was following you, wanting to observe more of your latest device.

it was delightful. training with sufficient information at the screens in front of your eyes, reminding you of incoming dangers. the iron was also lightweight; so that running would be easier.

you and eiji even teamed up! how sweet🥰

and from the inside, you saw your boyfriend. he had this adorable toothy grin, literal heart eyes on you.

“we would love to see more of that, iron maiden!” he screamed from down below.

“you got it, red riot!” you replied, reminding yourself to give him a big fat hug once this was over.

shinsou💜

you were worried about what shinsou was going to say.

yes, he knew that you were quirkless. but he saw so many qualities in you that literally changed his life for the better.

no way in heck was he gonna listen to any bs about you! you were his!

“come on, kitten. i would have to hear it someday. i’m sure it’s not gonna hurt.”

“i’m thinking of making a suit.”

“ah. you did tell me about those before. what’s your plan?”

“i’m going to try and rebuild it again. this time, with a consultant! i just wanted your opinion, hitoshi; and i don’t know if-“

“does this plan make you happy?”

you nodded slowly.

“go on. do what you gotta do. if it makes you happy, i’m happy.”

he proceeds to embrace you, feeling so proud of your decision. i headcanon him being your number one fan💜

so there you were, working alongside with mei. a lots of twists and turns were found in your previous suits, and you were glad some parts came to good use in the new one.

“you’re gonna love this, y/n! make sure to give it all you got with our baby!” she said with pride.

he gives you calls and asks about the process🥺

he hangs out with you during your breaks

after weeks of ups and downs, it was completed.

you placed the little casing in your pocket. training was coming up soon and you wanted to give it your all. mei wished you good luck, and you left.

it was intense training, and it involved a few classes. including your boyfriend’s. so it was finally time to show it to him!

“hey, you done?” shinsou tapped on your shoulder, looking at you. “where is it?”

“you’ll see!” you said, smiling innocently. but deep down inside you were screaming with joy.

the battle began. everyone rushed out from the starting line, and the two of you followed behing the flock.

you pulled the little metal casing out from your pocket. this was your time.

fixing in on your chest, you clicked on the middle of the nano suit; as it began to assemble right in front of hitoshi’s eyes.

his eyes were wide open. he watched as the armor covered your body from head to toe. the color red was a majestic finish to the armor.

boy, was he prOUD

he was just there, looking at you- the armor. his s/o did it! for so many months were they sad due to all their failures, and finally, they’ve done it.

the face of the armor opened, allowing you to see his face at a better angle.

“you surprise me everytime,” he smiled.

the both of you continued training immediately after, with him continuously admiring your hard work. from the blasters to the attacks from your armor. the speed. balancing off ground. priceless moments he would love to cherish.

honestly he’s just boyfriend goals argh😭

todoroki🤍

now if i were to be clear, these three boys are the most supportive towards their s/o. very. so here we have another cinnamon roll.

shoto is the person who shows love regardless of boundaries. moreover, you being quirkless was no sort of boundary he has ever imagined.

“after all, you’re human, aren’t you?”

that would’ve brought you to tears. being quirkless in this society was hard. but to shoto? that didn’t matter.

you’ve made it to ua, and he was proud of you for all your achievements. from new creations to development.

he has seen most of your suits. he also asks you a few questions.

so one day, knowing that he was good with listening and advice, you went to him to tell him about working alongside with mei hatsume.

“oh. she’s helped us upgrade most of our costumes. she’s really helpful, if you ask me.”

“so... what do you think about the idea?”

“y/n, i know you very well. this passion of yours makes you very happy. in fact, this idea sounds amazing. i’ll support you, always.”

“thank you, sho,” you hugged him.

“good luck, my love. let me know if you need anything.”

a few weeks passed and you were working miracles with mei. shoto and you came up with a hero name - iron maiden. knowing how you’ve always used iron to build new inventions.

he constantly texts you, telling you to take breaks if you stayed up late.

3am phone calls😤❤️

“so would this color do?” mei asked you, pointing at the matte red finish. “this baby would stand out with glory!” there were literal stars in her eyes.

“i love it!”

she gave you directions for the invention, of course. you two were like this inseparable duo, so i would say your conversations with each other were wholesome🥰

and finally, after so much of blood, sweat and tears,,, it was complete! the armor that you have thought of in your head finally came to life, within your hands!

shoto was very happy when he heard of your success. you also told him that it was a huge surprise. he waited patiently because he didn’t want to spoil the effect

“of course, love. i’ll be waiting.”

and he did, until training started.

like mentioned in the earlier headcanons, it was a joint session. this meant a lot of the students would try developing their quirks; in different stations.

you were of course heading to the ‘battlefield’ station.

there, you saw shoto. he has already begun training. so when he saw you he stopped, waiting for you to show what you’ve got.

you held out the little metal casing to him. his head tilted.

but when he saw it forming into an armor.....

....you guessed it. imagine that proud lil’ smile on his face😭❤️❤️

as the lightweight iron reached the last few parts, you asked him, “how is it?” eagerly.

he ran towards you.

“you’re gonna show all of them what you got.”

i guarantee you, your heart was bleeding confetti. i’ve mentioned it many times but his eyes tell stories.

this time, it was of how proud he was to see you achieve your biggest dream- becoming a hero.

i hope you liked it anon!! apologies for the delay and i hope this was a good read🥺❤️

#bnha imagines #bnha headcanons #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #boku no hero academia #shoto todoroki #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #shoto x reader #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou #eijirou x reader #eijirou kirishima #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi #hitoshi x reader

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euclarisse · 4 years ago

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⟨ CAMILLE RAZAT. CIS FEMALE. SHE / HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, CLARISSE PROUVAIRE is actually a descendant of K H I O N E. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY - SIX year old ART HISTORY MAJOR from AVIGNON, FRANCE has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite EBULLIENT & HAUGHTY.

❄ DOSSIER. ❄ PINTEREST. ❄ PLAYLIST.

PERSONALITY.

a sunny disposition offsets clarisse’s frosty lineage. while one might expect her to brush you off, the girl is rarely seen without a smile on her face, and is welcoming to all she meets ⸺ just as long as they treat her well. after all, her name means ‘ bright ’, and she is ever - determined to prove herself as such ; clarisse is always happy to lend a hand where needed or offer a shoulder to cry on if someone is upset. she is a force of positive energy, forever trying to find the silver lining where there may not always be one. while she rarely lets things get to her, clarisse’s desire to trust and see the good in all means that she is often misled. she’s not always the best judge of character, and she has been hurt because of it in the past. people tend to mistake her trust for naivete, and while she can be quite oblivious to people’s intentions at times, she won’t allow them to walk all over her.

as the middle child in a family of three, clarisse has often felt like she has to prove herself in order to be seen. a perfectionist at heart and a dancer for most of her life, she tends to focus on the smaller details and gets frustrated when things become misaligned or fall out of place. she is extremely studious and hardworking as a result, and has always been at the top of her classes. she refuses to let herself be anything less than number one, and can occasionally come off as something of a snob when something ( or someone ) doesn’t meet her standards. once clarisse sets her heart on a goal, she will always see it through, no matter the outcome. she sees mistakes as a reason to learn and better herself. improvement is never out of reach for her and it is something that has always been encouraged by her loved ones.

being surrounded by people is one of clarisse’s great joys in life. she is fond of large crowds of people and seldom likes to be alone, having always been lucky enough to have at least one friend by her side. clarisse is usually seen as the mother figure in her friend groups, and has frequently been described as ‘ the sensible one ’. there is nothing she wouldn’t do for her loved ones, but be warned, once you have betrayed her trust and shown her your true colours, she’s not so easily swayed. she is a firm believer that second chances should be earned through actions, not freely given, and no one ⸺ not even herself ⸺ deserves to be excused purely on words alone.

FACTS.

clarisse’s mother is an art collector, often acquiring rare and exquisite pieces to sell to museums. both philippe and madelyn are benefactors of several large and infamous art galleries in france ( including the louvre ). their donations are annual, significant, and their names are almost synonymous with some of the most prominent art communities in europe.

clarisse has a grey long - haired cat named basile. he is of the norwegian forest breed, and was chosen with the knowledge that norwegian forest cats are adapted to colder climates, much like the siberian husky or alaskan malamute. the name basile means ‘ regal ’ in french, and clarisse frequently calls him her little prince. he is her emotional support animal due to her anxiety.

khione has visited her daughter many times over the years, though she would often disguise herself prior to clarisse’s official claiming, as she wanted to give her daughter some semblance of normalcy until then. she always brings her small gifts, often in the form of jewellery, and was usually introduced to her as a distant aunt. one gift in particular arrived on the eve of clarisse’s sixteeth birthday and was a silver necklace featuring a pendant of intricate snowflakes. clarisse has never taken it off and she treasures it immensely.

clarisse speaks with a heavy french accent, and it can be quite difficult to understand when she is speaking quickly. her language preference is french, as it is her main tongue, and it pleases her greatly when she runs into other people who can also speak french as she doesn’t have to be so self - conscious about her speech.

clarisse was a summer member of camp stark from 2010 – 2012, and left the camp when she was seventeen years old. she went on one quest in the first month of her final year, and was accompanied by two other camp members. their task was to seek out and return the diadem of mnemosyne to calliope, the leader of all muses. they were successful.

before arriving at eonia university, clarisse attended the ballet de l’opéra national de paris, where she went on to become one of their principal dancers. at the age of twenty - three, she was forced to quit, after a trio of harpies attacked her and several audience members during a performance.

POWERS.

aerokinesis : perhaps the one power clarisse has used before but still has yet to fully refine. occasionally, on a cold, stormy night, when the wind rattles the windows in their frames, she is able to brush it away as it it were a mere fly hovering about her head. she has summoned gusts of wind in the past, the most recent that she can recall being her final performance with the ballet de l’opéra national de paris. audience members and staff will say that it came from the hole in the ceiling, but she knows what she did, what she is capable of doing. the wind swept from her body as sharp as knives, whipping through the theatre like a winter gale. it tore a hole through the roof and blew the creatures away. she cannot forget. she will always remember what she is able to do.

cryokinesis : it comes as naturally to her as breathing. at five days old, she was creating small blizzards in her room. by eight years old, she was making slides down the staircase by pouring water over the steps and freezing it to ice. clarisse never found it particularly strange or peculiar that she was able to manipulate the cold with such ease. in fact, when she was younger, she assumed it was something that all children could do, and was left astonished when her brother informed her otherwise. she learned to embrace her unique gift from a young age, and taught herself how to hone her abilities without expert instruction, almost to the point of perfection. she’s learned how to create beautiful figures made of ice, sculptures that her parents would proudly display during dinner parties and family gatherings. she uses her cryokinesis habitually, and it is something she is completely unashamed of, even if the frequent demonstration of her power has brought her trouble in the past.

fearspeak : clarisse is too fair and too kind to ever willingly use this ability on someone who doesn’t deserve it, and every time she’s ever used her fearspeak in the past, she has felt nothing but the deepest of regret. for her, it is a shame she must carry. she never wishes to incite fear in anybody, but she can sometimes perceive what they are feeling. it speaks to her, calls out to her, and when it does, she can’t help but inform them of the worst.

other abilities :

heat sensitivity : the first ability that ever manifested in clarisse was a sensitivity to heat. her mother could never understand why her baby would cry relentlessly in the middle of summer, or by the fireplace in the living room when it was lit. the hottest days of the year were an endurance for the entire family. while she was as obedient and easygoing as they came, it was the one time of the year where she would fuss and stick up her nose. she’s gotten in frequent trouble with her father ( who has a weak disposition and bad circulation ) for turning down the heating during the coldest winter nights. extreme heat makes her skin feel itchy, like she’s about to break out in hives or burn to a crisp on the spot, but she’s learned not to complain.

immunity to cold : clarisse has never felt the cold the way that she felt the heat. she says it brushes over her like water ⸺ almost unfeeling, rippling over her skin. in the depths of winter, she can walk around in single layers ⸺ the thinnest silk dress, the shortest sleeved t - shirt ⸺ with a smile on her face, as if it were any other day of the year. she seldom wears thick winter jackets, but if she does, know that it’s for everyone else’s sake than for her own. it’s better to fit in than be judged.

OUT OF CHARACTER.

it’s your fave, nixie ( 24, gmt, she / her ) coming in with muse number two !!! very happy and excited to finally be writing clarisse, who I have thus dubbed as my lil sunshine winter baby. I know I’ve been hyping her up for the last few weeks, but I absolutely cannot wait to write her, so come and plot with me !

#euintro #╰ ` ❄ 𝒍𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓 › intro.

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schoolfullofmorons · 4 years ago

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petey lowkey having a crush on gary for a long time bc hes a pretty bad boy, but it takes some actual therapy and a small reunion for gary to feel some actual LONGING to have petey in his life again. he becomes surprisingly soft and supportive, in his own way, with their renewed friendship, and it takes jimmy casually promising to kick his ass if he messes up with petey for gary to realize he might actually have developed some romantic feelings for their friend. cue panic and breathing exercises

July, 2007.

Here he stood, on the threshold of hell on Earth, about to talk to Satan himself, and he still wasn't ready to run.

Well, maybe that wasn't entirely accurate. Pete Kowalski, rising junior of Bullworth Academy, was very prepared to run from the menace that had tortured him last year. Gary Smith, the mentally unstable asylum patient, waited for him just on the other side of this door.

His palms had grown hot with sweat, and he nervously wiped them off on his clean, ironed jeans. Pete hated having generalized anxiety disorder. It made him nervous even about this, even about coming here, which was literally his own choice to begin with. The thought of facing his once best friend filled him with a mounting dread that made his throat burn with the urge to cry.

But Pete wanted this. He was determined to get the answers he wanted, because Jimmy and him had been fucked over. And Jimmy might have brushed his hands of Gary, Jimmy might have decided that he was done caring, but Jimmy wasn't Pete and Pete cared way too much. He needed to know why Gary had ditched them, betrayed them, left them to rot. He wanted to know the cause of all this.

And, deep down, maybe he missed Gary, too.

He had been standing there too long, staring at the door. Pete knew if he didn't act soon, the orderly that had trailed behind him would get annoyed. Licking his lips and swallowing down his own anxiety, he pushed open the door, letting the orderly shut it behind him.

And there he was, the mastermind himself.

Gary was so... different, in here, but in reality he still looked like a Smith. All sharp jawlines and piercing stares. When Gary rose his head to look at him, hair that was growing slightly shabby due to a month of no cuts falling into his face, Pete felt his heart skip a beat.

And then a grin passed over his face, his eyes lighting up with genuine joy. He launched himself off of the small white cot all asylum patients had been provided, and sauntered over to Pete with slow, calculated steps. Too proud and too arrogant for someone who was incarcerated.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Did Petey Kowalski decide to pay lil' ol' me a visit? The big, bad, awful wolf, Gary Smith?" Gary's words cut into him, and Pete felt the urge to wipe his hands off on his jeans again. His friend's eyes bore into him.

Why'd you do it? Was the question that sat on Pete's tongue, but instead he cleared his throat and avoided Gary's eyes. "I... wanted to check up on you. Y'know, see how you were holding up."

"Oh, look at that! He cares about me!" Gary reached out to sling an arm around him, bringing Pete in close with a sharp jerk that had Pete yelping. "Did somebody miss me? Just couldn't sleep at night knowing I was away, could you?"

"No, I-"

"I already knew you weren't straight, but this is taking it to a whole new level."

The protest died away on Pete's tongue and he swallowed as the familiar burning sensation hit the back of his throat. When he didn't get an answer, Gary huffed and shoved him, hard. Pete stumbled, hitting the cell wall and sliding down it.

"God, you're pathetic." Gary spat.

"Why do you have to be an asshole all the time, Gary?" Pete snapped, and in one sudden rush, angry words bubbled up and out of him. "For once in your life, can't you just accept that you're the one in the wrong? You're in a cell, for god's sake! Don't you realize that I'm the only one left who doesn't want you to drop dead? Half the school pities you and the other half hates you! You destroyed our lives! You took away our peace! You don't get to be calling me the pathetic one!"

The room fell silent enough to hear a pen drop. The air around the two boys grew thicker, and thicker, and thicker still with tension. Pete risked a glance at the boy who stood looming in front of him. He had to swallow back fear as he noticed Gary's hands were clenched so tight that the skin was starting to turn white.

Pete pushed himself to his feet, slowly, unwilling to startle Gary. If he moved too fast he was afraid that Gary would snap. A predator in a hunting crouch, moments away from delivering the killing bite. That's what Gary was.

"You know, I used to like you. I used to want you around. I used to think you were smart, and funny, and cool. But now you just remind me of a... a walking toddler, who throws a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way. I hope you get better, Gary. I hope you get the help you need so you can finally grow up."

Pete sidestepped Gary, who had yet to move except for his head, his eyes slowly following Pete back towards the doorway. Pete opened the cell door and looked back one more time, meeting eyes with the person he once considered his best friend.

And then he left.

September, 2008.

To the parents of Gary Alexander Smith,

I am writing to you to inform you that your son has completed rehab. According to his court order, this is the final step needed in order for him to be released back to the public.

Please note that he will still have to check in weekly with a nurse that will ensure he is still taking his medication. This will no longer be a requirement after his 100 hours of community service is over.

With this in mind, we will be releasing him on the 8th at 3 PM. We require a signature before his release in order to ensure that he is in the proper hands of his guardians.

Thank you for your time,

Happy Volts staff.

The reunion with his parents was about as happy as you'd expect with parents as terrible as his. Really, they didn't talk much through the entire thing; it was pick him up, take him home, and let him clean himself up before they had dinner.

It was the first meal that he had had in a long ass time that was actually good, instead of being almost edible. He really did have a newfound appreciation of his maids after that, though he'd never admit it to them out loud.

The thing about spending a year away from home is that it caused him to reflect on things he could have done differently. It also made him realize that a lot of the shit he had done his sophomore year simply didn't... matter. Maybe it was the medication, and the advice of actual doctors from the state after being transferred from Volts and their terrible medical department, but Gary was beginning to see things in ways he had never thought to see them in before.

For example, he was pretty sure Jimmy had never said anything all that terrible to him. Where had he gotten that idea from? Yeah, some of it was an addiction to power, but he was pretty sure the other part was perceived rejection. Learning about rejection sensitive dysphoria really did help him out in a lot of ways. He just wished it had been explained to him sooner, before, y'know, he betrayed all of his closest pals because of an inexplainable fear that they hated his guts.

(Which now they probably did. Go figure. Pete's words still ate at him when he tried to sleep at night).

That didn't matter as much now, anyway. He wanted to know what he'd be doing. He wasn't trapped anymore, with only medical professionals and other patients that had, admittedly, been really kind to him when they weren't Bullworth Branded(tm). He wanted to know what his future would be like, now that his head was much clearer.

When he asked his father, the response he got didn't surprise him much.

"We've decided to respect Crabblesnitch's decision and homeschool you. It'll be best, in order to prevent anymore... incidents."

And so began the process of sleeping, waking up, eating, being immersed into various studies by a freshly hired tutor with a bitchy voice that Gary tried very hard not to snap at, eating again, and going back to sleep. This pattern only broke on days where he had been assigned community service, or had an appointment with his psychologist.

As the days went on, he began to make the effort to expose himself to the outside world. Being locked up made him unusually skittish around people, and he was still having trouble getting used to the crowd that was his father's staff. This led to him climbing onto the roof of his father's house as he watched the sun dip steadily over the horizon after a long day of studies.

Being in high places had been a huge comfort when he was a child. He liked to watch the world, and he liked to feel in control by being able to see his surroundings. His friends would occasionally join him. He had many memories of Pete's smile catching on the sunset, or his nervous expression watching him as Gary got too close to the edge.

This was their place first, before it became his and Jimmy's. He wondered, briefly, if Jimmy still thought of their battle as often as Gary did, or if Gary just did that because it was the last substantial thing he had ever done with himself before the lock-up.

He really missed those two.

He got it, though. He couldn't have them back in his life. They had both kicked him out, and that was his own doing. He had hurt them, and he might regret it, but he had to let go.

He just didn't know how, when he didn't have anyone else.

December, 2008.

He finished his community service. Christmas break came, and since he had been working so hard on catching up with his junior year studies, his father had allowed him to take it off for himself. He was grateful at the idea of a break; he had been working tirelessly, and was nearly three quarters of a way through his junior year. He wanted to catch up to his senior year already, so that he could graduate in May like the rest of the Class of 2009.

Suddenly filled with free time that he did not want taken up by family, Gary found himself wandering into town more than he had previously. At first he didn't go far, but as the days passed he found himself going on longer strolls until he found himself deep in the heart of Bullworth Vale.

He should have known it would be easy to be spotted there, considering the gym was a hotspot for prep activity. Jimmy's lighthouse was also down here, causing Gary to avoid that spot as much as he could.

It was a smart idea, by all means. Unfortunately for Gary, however, Jimmy was king, and the preps told him everything. Especially Gord, who he'd had an on-and-off relationship with for a few years now.

That's what led to his peaceful stroll being interrupted by a massive fist slamming his head into the side of a brick wall, so hard that his ears rang.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Came a familiar voice in his ear, and his blood ran cold.

"James." Gary grunted into the brick wall. He tried to lift his head up, but was deemed unsuccessful when Jimmy's fist jerked him back down, causing him to wince. "What is it you want? I was busy."

"Busy doing what? Making the smiles of tiny children disappear?"

Gary had to remind himself that Jimmy was completely justified in this reaction, but it was hard when his cheek was beginning to fucking bleed.

"Get off."

"Not until you tell me what you're doing out of jail where you were supposed to rot."

"I got released! I finished the stupid program, okay? Let me go!" Gary hissed, and to his surprise, Jimmy did.

"What program are you talking about?" Jimmy asked, crossing his arms. Gary rubbed the grit off his face and took a moment to let his eyes wander over Jimmy's freckles.

Jesus, he forgot just how many James had. He was like a freckled forest.

"Technically a bunch of different programs... rehab was one, and I went through some community service hours." Gary shrugged. "Does it matter? I'm out now."

Jimmy's face contorted into three different expressions of confused anger, and Gary had to stop himself from laughing out loud at it.

"Like hell you're coming back to Bullworth-"

"I'm not, actually. I'm being homeschooled." Gary replied, smug at his one-up despite his best efforts not to be. It was just easy to feel smug around Hopkins.

(He wondered, briefly, why he wasn't downright pissed at Jimmy for sophomore year; but it had been a long time since then, and Gary was different, more different than he'd ever been).

"What? How long has that been going on?"

"Since September." Gary told him.

"Oh. Wow."

The two of them stood in an almost awkward silence, and Gary flicked his eyes over to watch the road as cars passed by. He had almost zoned out when Jimmy spoke again.

"So, what? Are you scheming to get back in?" When Gary turned his eyes back to Jimmy, the shorter boy was squinting at him, looking suspicious.

"No." Gary said, honest. "I'm not going to bother you, either, if that's what you're going to ask."

"Why? Not that I don't appreciate your kindness or whatever. I'm just trying to understand."

"I get it, don't worry." Gary shrugged and sighed, turning on his heel to face the road. "Honestly? I've had a lot of time to think. And... I messed up with the two of you. Bad. I don't want to pressure you into having to deal with me again, because, well... I fucked up your lives. I understand that now, I understand how bad it was back then for you. I wasn't going to seek you out, but I suppose thinking that I could hide from you forever wasn't necessarily the brightest idea."

"I can't believe this." Jimmy mumbled. "Gary Smith? Showing remorse? Who would of thought."

"Yeah." Gary said, quietly. "Wild idea, for sure."

The two boys stood looking at the cars in a slightly more comfortable silence. It had started to lightly snow, and Gary rubbed his gloved hands together to create the idea of warmth before he half-froze to death.

"I don't know if I forgive you, you know." Jimmy spoke.

"Yeah, I figured." Gary murmured. "And you don't have to."

"I think if you're putting in the effort, I'd like to forgive you." Jimmy told him, and Gary turned his head, regarding him with surprise.

"What you did was... terrible, to be frank, but I've seen worse. You weren't all that bad, back before the fight with Russell." He shrugged and Gary continued to stare. Jimmy had liked their friendship? It felt like a crazy idea.

"And I think... I think Petey really misses you, too." Jimmy shifted to glance at him. "He... told me, about your fight."

Gary didn't like thinking about it, much less talking about it. He clenched his hands into slight fists and let out a small huff. "Really? Man..."

"Its fine, really. I mean, I was pissed at the time and so was he, but I think he just misses you now." Jimmy turned his whole body towards Gary, suddenly furrowing his brow. "Hey, give me your hand."

"What?" Gary frowned. "No, get your own hand to hold."

"I'm not tryna flirt with you, dumbass. I'm gonna write Pete's number on your arm."

"Pete's - what?"

"You should apologize to him." Jimmy said, matter-of-factly. Bewildered, Gary handed Jimmy his hand. Jimmy took a pen out of his pocket and uncapped it, scribbling a hasty number on his wrist, just above his glove.

"Pete's parents had enough money to get him a cell phone. He can answer texts but texting back is a slow process so he prefers to call." Jimmy pocketed his pen. "I'm sure you two can work it out for yourselves though."

"Why are you giving this to me? I thought you hated me." Gary asked him, pulling his arm back to run his fingers over the messy digits that were gracing his skin.

"I never hated you, to be honest." Jimmy told him. "I was mad, but I never hated you. I was always rooting for you, Gary."

"I see." Gary replied. "Thank you, then, James."

"Of course." Jimmy clapped him over the back, causing him to stumble. "See ya around, crazy man."

He went home with black ink on his wrist and the words I was always rooting for you stuck in his head on repeat.

January, 2009.

Gary procrastinated all of Christmas break away thinking about calling Pete.

He didn't know why the task was bothering him so much. It hadn't been difficult to apologize to Jimmy, but then again, he knew he had been wrong about Jimmy going into it. Admitting to himself that he had no idea what Pete thought of him was a different challenge that was taking a lot of effort to push through.

There was also the part of Gary that had finally, finally let him accept that he missed Pete. And now he was getting a second chance with him, to fix things. To make things right.

He really, really didn't want to screw things up. That's why he was having so much trouble with this one, stupid, idiotic phone call.

(Rejection sensitive dysphoria, thou is a heartless bitch).

He was once again by the house phone, twirling the wire around his finger as he held it up to his ear. He chewed on his lip as he continued what had become a daily debate in his head: to call, or not to call?

Fuck it, he said, and dialed the number.

Pete picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

Gary took in a sharp breath as the static in his head got louder. Was this a good idea? Probably not. Why did he trust Jimmy? Jimmy was a moron, how would he know what Pete thought?

"Hello? Is this a prank caller?" Pete asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"No!" Gary spoke and then cleared his throat. "No, uh, its-"

"Gary? Is that you?"

"Yes! Yes."

"Holy crap, I thought you were still in-?"

"No, I got released a few months ago. I ran into Jimmy and he said you've missed me, so-"

"If this is going to be another teasing session about how 'homosexual' I am, I swear I will end this call right-"

"No no no, its the opposite actually. I wanted to apologize."

The line fell silent, and Gary shifted from foot to foot as nerves raced through him. Pointless restless energy. Only ADHD things.

"Look, I really messed up with you."

"Uh-huh. I know."

"And I wanted to say I really, really regret it. You were one of my best friends."

"And?"

"And I'm sorry. You deserved so much better than how I treated you."

Another silence. There was a noise as if someone had sat down a dish. "Listen, if you expect me to just accept, then I don't think I can do that."

Gary's finger twitched and he rested his head back on the wall. "I understand."

"But I'll give you the chance to prove that I should accept." Pete's voice was quieter now. "You just... you just have to prove it to me through actions, not say sorry and go right back to being a jerk."

"Yeah." Gary said, equally as quiet.

"Do you want to meet up sometime? To catch up?" Pete asked, and Gary had to fight to keep down the grin spreading over his face.

"I'd like that," he answered.

He might not have been forgiven yet, but he'd take what he could get.

They made plans to meet at a small cafe just outside of Bullworth Vale that following Thursday.

Pete Kowalski, senior of Bullworth Academy, sat in the quiet coffee shop that he had recommended for his and Gary's little "outing."

He had brought his laptop, as he had an essay due for his current English class and like hell was he going to pass up an opportunity to write it in a quiet space. He had actually arrived early in order to start it, since he knew Gary liked to ramble on, and he wanted to get some work done before he was interrupted.

He also wanted to think, which he had been doing between writing paragraphs analyzing the societal symbolism in The Scarlet Letter. His thoughts were turned towards the boy who he was currently meeting today, his good friend, Gary Smith.

He had missed Gary, if he were being honest. That didn't make him any less bitter about the things Gary had done to him, but it was still a cemented fact nonetheless. Gary Smith just... felt like his own addiction. Once you were around him once, he wouldn't get out of your head, and you wanted to see him again and again.

So Pete had decided to meet him here.

Of course, Pete wasn't stupid by any means. If Gary showed up acting like he had the last time they met, Pete would end all arrangements here. But Gary had shown... actual remorse. It was more than he had seen from him in a long time.

He just, really hoped it would work out well.

When the time came for him to show, the small bell over the door rang, signifying that someone had entered the coffee shop. Pete lifted his eyes and was immediately faced with the boy he had been crushing on for a good few years now.

Gary Smith, although he looked significantly less Smith(tm) now, his facial features softened but what could only be newfound maturity. Gary's brown eyes scanned the room and landed on him, and Pete swore his heart fell into his throat.

He was just so handsome. It wasn't fair, when Pete was supposed to be angry at his dumbass.

Gary approached the table, a lot less intimidating in his stride but still as confident as ever. The closer he got, the more his face cracked into a grin, sporting the gap in his teeth.

"Petey. Long time, no see!"

Pete couldn't help but smile faintly. "Hey. Go ahead and take a seat."

Gary slid into the table opposite from him and reached over to grab Pete's cup of coffee without warning. "What are you doing?"

"I could ask you the same. That's my coffee, Gare." Pete huffed and watched as Gary froze halfway to putting the cup to his mouth. A red blush spread over his face and he grumbled, setting the cup down.

"Yeah, sure. Don't share then."

"Don't be a dick. And I'm working on my English essay, to answer your question."

"Essays aren't too hard to write as long as you can focus on them."

"Well, yeah." Pete shrugged and looked down at the computer. He knew Gary had pretty much a natural talent at anything academic. "It just takes up a lot of time."

"What's the essay on?"

"The Scarlet Letter. You ever read that book?"

"Duh? Everyone in our grade has read that stupid ass novel. Its notorious for being boring." Gary rolled his eyes and Pete cracked a smile.

"Yeah, it honestly is. Doesn't stop the teacher from assigning it, though."

"Did you get Galloway again?"

"Nah. Got an actual competent teacher who makes us do stuff."

"Oh, I bet Bullworth isn't taking that one well." Gary smirked and leaned forward. He practically radiated smugness. "How has it been, with ol' James Bitchfucker Hopkins there to rule it?"

"You know, you could be nice to him for once instead of insulting him every other sentence." Petey chastised and rolled his eyes.

"Its our dynamic, Peter. Gotta insult him before the weirdos think I'm getting soft on him." Gary laughed. "Now answer the question."

"Yeah, yeah. Bossy." Pete looked at the words on his screen and then sighed, closing his laptop. Seems his work time was over. "Things have calmed down a lot, actually... the cliques all kind of kiss up to Jimmy, and in turn he settles all their disputes for pocket cash before they can get too violent. Its honestly kind of nice?... A lot of people have, uh, come out recently, and Jimmy's been beating up people who make fun of them."

"Come out?" Gary eyed him. Pete wasn't sure if he was making up the accusation in the burning stare or not. "As in...?"

"Gay, of course." Pete's cheeks burned. He almost wished he hadn't brought it up. "Jimmy is - he's bi, you know? He's been talking to a lot of kids who have come to them about their sexuality, like, um, Mandy-"

"Mandy??? The girl who is always clinging to a guy?"

"She doesn't do that anymore. She even talks to the nerds now, sometimes. As in, like, nicely." Pete shrugged and shifted. "She, she came out as a lesbian."

"What the hell." Gary furrowed his brow. "Did Jimmy put queer shit in the water?"

"Gary, don't say that, its rude. And no, Jimmy just..." Pete chewed his bottom lip and smiled. "He's supportive."

Gary pursed his mouth into a tight frown and Pete narrowed his eyes, his smile falling. "If you say something homophobic, I will cut you."

"Jesus, Pete, I leave you alone for a year and a half and you turn into the sass master. No, I wasn't going to say anything homophobic." He scoffed and turned his head to the side, purposefully ignoring Pete. Pete felt his cheeks burn.

"Okay, well, I just - wanted to make sure. Since, you know. I'm bisexual."

Gary snapped his head around to stare at Pete, and Pete felt his cheeks grow darker. "Stop looking so surprised. You already suspected it."

"I thought - I didn't - what?"

"Weren't you the one to call out the fact that I stared at boys for too long, repeatedly, for years?"

"I never thought you'd actually admit to it."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have if I'd had stayed around you." Pete said, coming off colder than he meant to. When Gary's face fell, he blushed and put his hands up. "I- shit, I didn't mean it like that, don't get upset. I just... you weren't the most accepting, Gary. I needed someone who would be so that I could experiment without feeling dirty."

Gary stared at him and then glanced out the window, huffing and setting his face in a tight line. "Yeah, okay. I get it. You don't have to explain."

"So... are you okay with it?"

"Obviously." Gary turned a glare at him, looking annoyed at the implications, and Pete smiled softly.

"Cool."

The two boys fell into a familiar routine after that, with Gary visiting the coffee shop after class on Wednesday to talk. On weekends, when he had nothing to do, he would call up Pete or Jimmy - sometimes even both of them - and they'd walk along the train tracks, talking as they relaxed in the quiet wilderness.

It was nice.

February, 2009.

"So I was like, dude, can you shut up already and give me the dang pencil? I don't care if it has MLP on it."

Gary snorted. "Is it really that surprising that Trent was into MLP?"

"No! That's why I didn't give a shit!" Pete laughed from beside him, and Gary couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. Pete's laughter was infectious.

Their shoes made crunching noises on the gravel as they walked along the train track. They had been walking like this for a good twenty minutes as they caught up on their week.

"Valentine's Day is coming up." Gary mused. "Do you have a date?"

"Who? Me? Pete Kowalski, the quiet kid? Please." Pete chuckled softly, but it sounded sad more than anything.

"Hey, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt." Gary teased and gently shoved him. "Do you have anyone you want to date?"

"What, like a crush?"

"Yeah."

"Well..." Pete hesitated.

"You do have someone." Gary grinned as Pete returned to his side. "Who is it? Don't tell me its MLP boy."

"Trent? Ew, no. I'm not Jimmy, man."

"Is it Jimmy?"

"What?"

"Is it Hopkins?" Gary rose an eyebrow. Pete blinked, seeming caught off guard.

"No, of course not. I mean, Jimmy is cool and all, but..." Pete shrugged and glanced away. "I just, like someone else."

"Who, then?"

"Why do you want to know so bad?"

"Because I'm curious. Bite me."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Satisfaction brought it back. Just tell me, Pete, please?"

"I..." Pete stopped abruptly and Gary turned, alarmed as a frown made its way on Pete's face. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Well, that's not weird at all. Gary let his eyes roll up and down Pete's figure, reading his body language (which screamed I'M SAD! in all caps), and then sighed. "Okay."

"Thanks." Pete smiled softly.

Gary wondered just why it bothered him so much in the days to follow.

Gary finished his junior year assignments and started his senior year courseload, feeling a lot happier now that he was in the proper grade level, even if he was behind by a small margin.

Despite that, his thoughts were mostly on one person: Pete.

For some reason, it bothered him knowing that Pete had a crush. Especially one that he wouldn't tell Gary about.

It felt like... this strange mix of anger, worry, and sad that Gary wasn't quite able to process.

Mostly because it felt an awful lot like jealousy, and he was not going to be jealous over Pete Kowalski, especially considering that had even deeper implications such as the idea that he might not be as heterosexual as he once thought.

Not that he had ever been attracted to girls, which... honestly, confused him more. Did that mean he was gay? But it couldn't. He hadn't ever been attracted to anyone except Pete. Maybe he wasn't... anything. Maybe he was just Gary.

Did sexuality have to be as labeled as Pete and Jimmy's? And, fuck, why was he even considering this in the first place, he so totally did not have a crush on Pete because he was NOT jealous.

A loud snap brought him out of his thoughts, and he realized he had broken his pencil. Fuck.

March, 2009.

February passed with little to offer. Valentine's Day found Gary wandering Bullworth Vale - Pete said he didn't feel like leaving the house, and Jimmy had a date. Overall, it was uneventful, except for the fact that Gary couldn't stop thinking about Pete.

Spring break would be coming up, the first week of April. Jimmy had suggested that they go camping by the train tracks. Gary had agreed, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart when he thought of Pete being there, sharing a tent with him.

April, 2009.

"Tent building is hard." Gary breathed out heavily as he leaned across a nearby tree.

"Lazy ass." Jimmy passed him with some firewood in his arms, hitting Gary lightly over the head. Gary rose an arm to shove his hand away.

"Shut up. Pete's complaining too." Gary pouted.

"Pete's different." Jimmy passed said boy, who was sitting on a treestump, and gave him a friendly smile. Gary felt jealousy pulse through his veins.

Okay, so he had accepted he was jealous. But that didn't mean anything. So.

"Pete's a loser." Gary retorted and playfully smirked at the boy, who rolled his eyes.

They had spent the first hour or so setting up camp before the sun went down. It had made two out of three of them tired, with Jimmy being unable to feel exhaustion ever.

As Jimmy began to build the campfire, Gary moved from the tree he was leaning against to settle next to Pete. His heart beat hard in his chest as their knees brushed.

"So, little Petey, are you ready for a night with the creepypastas?" Gary teased and shoved him lightly.

"Shut up. Its bad enough that you've been trying to get me into them without mentioning them here." Pete huffed at him, putting one hand up to shove his face away. Gary laughed, ignoring the tingle that ran through his skin where Pete's hand made contact.

"They're fun! Come on, your gay ass can't tell me you don't find at least one of them attractive."

"They kill people!"

"So?"

Pete opened his mouth to respond, then seemed to think better of it, pouting instead. "Shut up."

Gary felt his face slip into a familiar grin. He let his eyes trail over Pete's face as the boy turned away to watch Jimmy, taking in his soft brown eyes. When he smiles he gets dimples...

He felt a burning stare pierce through him, and slowly turned his head to see Jimmy giving him a knowing look with a raised eyebrow. Gary felt panic shoot through him, but externally he kept his face in the same grin.

"Done yet, James?"

Jimmy studied him curiously and then looked back at the fire. "Yeah. Should be enough for the night."

"I brought stuff for smores." Pete smirked and moved away from Gary. He tried not to be disappointed at the distance.

"Hell yeah, we like, gotta roast marshies. That's the first fuckin' rule of camping." Jimmy smirked and sat down by the fire. The sun wasn't down yet, but it was steadily approaching the horizon - it would be sunset soon.

"Marshies?" Pete laughed. "Are you in grade school?"

"Hey, don't diss my flow. Marshies are the bomb, man."

"You're so weird." Gary rolled his eyes and Jimmy shrugged.

They spent the next few minutes unpacking the food, preparing to make dinner. The campsite they had picked out had a grill nearby, and Pete had brought burgers for them all to eat. Jimmy lit the grill and left Pete to cook as Gary stayed by the fire just a little ways off.

"Hey." Jimmy greeted, his voice quiet as he sat down next to Gary, moving to rest his hands on his knees. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it?" Gary rose an eyebrow. "Does Pete need help with something?"

"Nah, that little dude's got it all figured out. I was gonna grill but he insisted. He's had a fascination with cooking ever since his parents decided he was old enough to touch the stove." He chuckled and shrugged.

"Then what?" Gary pulled his knees to his chest, eyeing Jimmy out of the corner of his eye suspiciously.

"Look, man. I don't want to pry, since I know it isn't any of my buisness, but... I see the way you and Pete look at each other."

Gary felt his blood run cold, and he turned his head to look at his friend. "I don't know what you're-"

"Earlier you spent like fifteen seconds staring at his face man, you were practically swooning like a stupid schoolgirl. Its so blatantly obvious that you like him."

"I..." Gary was at a loss for words, panic rising up in his chest. "No, no no no I-"

"I'm not going to tell him or anything." Jimmy held his hands up. "I just want to say... if you mess up with him again, I'm gonna have to kick your ass, alright? So, don't."

"What?" Gary breathed out. No, no no, it can't be that obvious. I thought I was hiding it better than this, I can't like Pete, I can't.

"I'm rooting for the two of you. You two deserve to he happy and its obvious he likes you back, so..." Jimmy shrugged and then furrowed his brow. "Are you okay?"

Gary realised then that he was hyperventilating. "What? Yeah."

"Gary, man, take it easy." Jimmy reached out, hesitated an inch away from him, and then gently allowed his fingers to snag around Gary's wrist once he was allowed. "Look at me. Focus on my hand. Breathe in, breathe out."

Gary took in a deep breath, letting himself focused on the calloused feel of Jimmy's hand around his wrist. He released his breath, and looked at Jimmy. Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.

When he was calm enough, Jimmy let him go and nodded awkwardly. "You good?"

"Yeah." Gary muttered, embarrassment pooling in the pit of his stomach.

"So did I assume right?..." Jimmy murmured, keeping his voice low. Gary nodded, looking into the fire. The heat coming off of it soothed him.

"Really? Does that mean you're gay?"

"I... have no idea?" He could feel his face flushing. "Look, don't tell him, okay? I've only figured it out recently-"

"Recently? You've been looking at him like he's your princess ever since you came back into our lives."

"Don't tease me Hopkins, okay? Fuck you. I was in denial about it, it isn't every day that I actually like someone, let alone like them in that way."

"Yeah, yeah, you're an emotional robot, we get it." Jimmy rolled his eyes. "I won't tell him. But you should. He likes you back, I can tell."

Did he? Gary pursed his lips together and stared into the fire, choosing not to comment. But why would he?

He spent the rest of the night in bewilderment as they roasted "marshies," told horror stories, and eventually went to sleep in the tent. It was weird, sleeping beside Pete with the revelation he had just been presented, and he tried very hard not to freak out.

Eventually, morning came, and Gary got up, groggy from anxious sleep. They had to pack up and then they'd be heading back.

He really, really hated the disappointment he felt because of that.

May, 2009.

Gary decided that emotions were not something he was very strongly suited for.

He had been avoiding Pete, unsure how to feel about his conversation with Jimmy. Part of him still did not want to accept that he was capable of a crush, let alone a crush on a guy. (God, his father would be so pissed). The other part of him wanted to accept it and let go, because Pete was cute and smart and kind and... well, Pete.

As the month went on, Gary found himself missing Pete more and more. It was easy to cancel plans under the guise of schoolwork, but it was becoming excessive. And, well...

Maybe it was time for him to admit to himself that yeah, he was queer. He wasn't sure of the proper term (gay? bi? who knows) but he knew he was LGBTQ+ of some origin. And...

Well, Jimmy had given him a vote of confidence. Maybe he should just go for it.

He held off for a few weeks, but Gary was never one to deny himself what he really wanted. And he wanted Petey to look at him, more than anything.

He decided that he'd have to do this. It was time. And, readying himself, he began to devise a plan.

Pete had a burning frustration for all days dedicated to couples. He had always wanted to be a part of a relationship. It wasn't that he hated being single; he just... wanted to know what that connection was like. And, well, he also wanted to like someone that was actually obtainable for once.

Because of this, he tended to lock himself in his dorms during those days. And, here he was once again, in his dorm.

It was Prom Night, and Peter Kowalski had bought a new book to read to distract himself from the painful torture that is Being Single.

A knock on the door distracted him from Pip's adventure into newfound wealth. He stood up and went to answer it, curiousity pumping through him. Jimmy was the only one who ever came to his dorm, but Jimmy had told him he had a date tonight.

He opened the door to find Gary Smith there, a grin on his face and a suit in his hand. He was dressed in formal attire of his own, making Pete's heart skip a beat.

That is, until it hit him. "Gary? What are you doing here? You aren't allowed on school property."

Gary shrugged. "It isn't like the Prefects will care anyway. Its prom, Pete."

Okay, he had a point. "Still... do you have a date or something?"

Gary's grin widened. "Yes, actually." Abruptly, he shoved the suit into Pete's hands. "Get changed, we're going out."

"What?" Pete furrowed his brow. "But... what about your date?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you? We're going out. I already bought the suit for you and everything."

It clicked in Pete's head, and he flushed a bright red. "Oh!" He squeaked. "Okay!"

He went back in his room and quickly changed. He had not been expecting this, and part of him was still sure that it was a prank? (If it was, well, he'd deal with it later).

Pete stepped out of his room in the new suit. Gary's eyes scanned down over his body, and Pete flushed red, fidgeting nervously. "Is this... okay?"

"Its perfect." Gary told him, reaching out to grab his hand. Pete could see the faintest traces of red blush on Gary's face. "Let's go."

"Wait." Pete stopped him. Gary turned to him, looking annoyed. "For clarification. Are - are we dating now? Like, um, boyfriends."

Gary narrowed his eyes. "Ugh, that's such a stupid term."

"Well?"

"I guess. If you want to be b-words then I'm here for it." Gary glanced away from him.

Pete broke into a grin. "Okay." He said, very quiet, as happiness settled in his chest.

"Are you ready now?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

#gary smith #pete kowalski #psychofluff #peter kowalski #petey kowalski #canis canem edit #cce #bully scholarship edition #bse #bully #long post #i tried putting a read more but tumblr hates me #ask #anon

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nachohypno · 4 years ago

Text

Nate and Dave Ch. 11

It’s been a while.

…Not a very long while, though. It was just a week ago or so when I lost my virginity to a werewolf. Who just happens to be my soulmate. And thus, has to obey everything I say.

Neat.

Getting up from my bed was always a hard task for me. And that sounded way sadder than I intended. Point is, school starts in like half an hour and I’m still not even up. I was, of course, doing this on purpose.

I’m not that eager to go to school, but it’s my responsibility and I respect that. I was just having a little experiment though.

The sound of an indistinguishable car parking in front of my house, some heavy footsteps later, a knock on my door. I had opened my window, so I could hear everything that went down as he opened the front door and ran up the stairs.

A few moments later, Dave the jock entered my room and closed the door behind him. “Why ya still in bed?”

Everything fell into place. “Bed gravity is killing me right now, barely want to move” I excused myself, but I did wonder if Dave knew that I was waiting for him to notice I didn’t answer his daily [Mornin, my love<3], and feigned being late to school to make him come over.

I mean, I didn’t intend on making him come over, I just wanted to see how he would react to it. Dave was usually pretty pending on what I’m doing, and wants to take part to make sure we spend lots of time together.

It’s cute and scary at the same time, things that happen when a werewolf just so happens to see you as their soulmate.

“Ditchin’ school? Is it just me or you suddenly become way more attractive?” He dropped his bag on the floor and pushed me against the wall to make room for himself, then climbed on the bed and lied down beside me.

“Wait, we’re not ditching school. I mean, it does sound good, but we still have to—” He interrupted me. Dave liked to do this when I’m about to bring something up that will probably ruin the moment, it was a good life-saver. He invaded my mouth with his tongue, while trying to remain as gentle as always.

I could tell that wasn’t an easy task for him, but he tried his best and it really showed.

Sadly, I had to pull him off. “Wait, we gotta head to class, I don’t want to be late and you’re doing great progress lately.”

“Huh, y’think so?” Dave mumbled, trying to get closer again but I gently pushed him back. I was tempted to just stay in bed and cuddle with him all morning, but if I wanted to help him become a better guy at the end, I should give the example too.

“I legit think Ms. Porter will cry with joy if you actually finish that book for her essay.” I replied, kissing his cheek before passing over him and leaving the bed.

I think I helped him a lot at school, not only with his shitty behavior but also with his studies. Dave wanted to be a good guy for me, because I didn’t trust him before with all his shitty hot-headed attitude.

…He still had it. But he tried to be nicer.

“Hmm… I’m up for it, that bitch’s made my last year a nightmare. Tryna make me do extra essays n’ stuff” I would let that slide, because everyone hated Ms. Porter. She did give everyone a lot of essays. I’m okay with it, I enjoy reading, but even those books aren’t that interesting.

Dave got up from my bed, and passed a hand over his hair. I noticed it was a bit brighter than usual. It wasn’t combed, but he seemed to have it stylized with gel to be a bit spikier, in contrast to his usually short, wavy and parted to the left style.

“Well… I didn’t even shower yet but—”

But the werewolf was already determined. “No shit, bro. We’re not going late, that’s what ya just said. C’mon, looking great already, as always” Dave grabbed my bag near my desk, placed it on my back before grabbing his own bag and my hand, pulling me out of my room.

“Hey, I can’t go to school in pajamas- Oh you know what, never mind, I’ve done this before.” I quickly changed my answer mid-speech. I sighed, ‘I’m supposed to be the one in control here and I’m being dragged out of my house. Let’s change that back’ I told myself.

“Dave, I order you to stop,” I said firmly, as we reached the living room. The jock obeyed without hesitation, freezing in place. I couldn’t see his face right now, but I assumed his eyes were a bit zoned out, like they always get when I order him something. “And let go of my hand, if you may.” He obeyed that too, his arms falling to his sides as the werewolf waited for more orders.

Alright, let’s see.

I grabbed a yoghurt cereal bar from the fridge, that would make a good breakfast. I used my reflection at the microwave’s glass door to fix my hair as best as I could, before I decided to walk upstairs and finish the deal brushing my teeth and washing my face.

I checked my clock, we still had quite some time. At least 17 minutes until the first class *actually* started.

I changed my tee into something less pajama-y and my pants for some jeans. Now I was looking appropriate for school, the last thing I needed was being sent to the counselor’s office for having a sudden “Lazy day”.

Believe me, it happened before and it could happen again.

Walking back downstairs while biting a big chunk of the cereal bar, Dave was still frozen in place. I could take a good look at him now, and I liked the view.

The big football player had, as I expected, zoned out eyes and a bit of a dumb smile. He wasn’t wearing the bowser collar I got him, which made sense because we were about to enter school.

A lumberjack buttoned shirt that seemed to cling pretty well to his muscular body, a tank top underneath, and some black joggers. I took a moment to unbutton the top button of his shirt, so his pecs would be a bit more visible. It gave him a cuter look, while also being like “Yo, I’m really muscled”. I chuckled at the little impersonation I just imagined.

“So, uh… you can wake up, I think?” I was still a bit unsure of how this all ‘I control your mind and body’ thing worked, but I was getting the hang of it pretty well!

The zoned out jock blinked a few times before starting to move again. “Oh, hey bro. When did you change clothes? You look stunning as always, huh.” He mumbled, before leaning in to give me a kiss and walking out of the house with a big smile.

He really didn’t care if I controlled him or anything, he would just roll with it. I was sure he actually enjoyed it, he always looks excited when I suggest he do something. Ordering him to do something may just trigger his puppy boy side to make sure I’m happy, maybe? It’s just a theory without any fundamentals.

It’s not like there’s a book about werewolves anyway. Not that I know of, I guess.

Beep! Beeeeeeep!

Dave was now using the car’s horn to make me hurry. I grabbed my bag again and walked out, joining him at his car and receiving yet another amazing kiss.

“I’m sorta sad when we have different classes,” He started, as he drove away from my house and towards the school. He was trying to hurry, but while maintaining the basic driving security measures. Guess the big guy wants to be a responsible driver, huh. “That means less time admiring your handsome face, my love”.

“Aaaand, more time to focus on your studies. You know that I get really proud when you study like a good puppy boy, don’t you?” I was about to caress the back of his ear, but that would have been dangerous. He shouldn’t zone out while driving.

“Yessuh, I’m a good puppy boy!” He beamed up, but remained focus on the road. A few minutes later, we were arriving at the almost-empty parking lot. Dave pulled over and turned off the engine, before pulling me in for one last kiss. This one was particularly longer than the former ones, I loved it.

“A lil’ present, don’t know how I’m gonna survive these shitty classes without you…” He leaned in towards my shoulder, laying on it. I did what I intended to before and caressed his good spot behind his ear. The big guy started panting, tongue lolling out.

“C’mon,” I said, checking my phone with my free hand and stopping the sweet moment. “We’ve got a few minutes left. Gotta go in, puppy boy.” His eyes seemed sad, but he nodded.

Dave grabbed his bag and left the car, and I followed suit.

We hurried to the main building, and I noticed that Dave seemed hesitant about something. His hand was almost touching mine as we walked, but he made sure it was several centimeters apart so nobody would suspect anything.

I always wondered if it was hard for him to keep himself apart from me. I definitely didn’t mind, but we still had things to work out if we wanted this to really end up well.

…Dave hates when I imply that we’re two guys in a relationship, when he’s the one that brought it up and asked me to be his boyfriend. He’s still pretty homophobic, yeah, but he works around it pretty well.

Still considering himself straight isn’t bad, I guess. I’m more worried about the other targets he used to torment. While he’s not a bully anymore, he also wouldn’t lift a finger to stop something from happening right in front of him, except if I’m the one in danger.

It’s not like I want him to be a superhero, and I do find his ‘mean jock’ attitude kind of attractive, (When it doesn’t terrify me, of course.)

“Just before we enter, let me remind ya that you’re the best guy in the universe, my soulmate…” He wanted to lean in for a kiss, but quickly got back on my feet and blushed.

“Good luck today, big guy” I tiptoed and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Love you too, by the way.”

Before he could react though and pull me in for a make out session at the school’s gates, I entered the building and headed to my locker. The disappointed but infatuated jock followed behind me, and went to his own locker.

Everyone seemed to be already going to their classes, so I guess I was still safe.

My first class was advanced math, and while it wasn’t that difficult, it wasn’t ideal either.

All the seats were taken already, except the one next to one of my two best friends. Sadly, Dick wasn’t in this class, and Sam didn’t seem happy to see me.

“Coming late to school? That’s a new thing.” He greeted me, as I sat down and took my stuff out of the bag.

“I like to think that I’m not late if the professor hasn’t arrived yet” Speaking of which, I noticed the guy was actually arriving late today. It was like 10 minutes past the class’ start. “Uh… did I miss a text or something? This one’s never late, huh.”

“No no, don’t summon him just yet. We can fast-forward to a later meeting so we can all go home earlier. That sounds good, yeah” Poor guy, he’s speaking with himself now.

Sam had been elected last year as our council’s president, with a lot of effort and dealing with each of the “cliques” around school.

...And it seemed to be worse than he planned it out to be. You see, one of his promises to get the jocks’ votes was to increase the budget for the sports teams, which included the cheerleaders in the bandwagon.

That sounds cool, but in reality they already had more than enough budget dedicated to them, so we had to start raising funds for future events, or the sports team would eat it all.

Parents with their “bring and sell food for the school” events helped quite a lot, I’ve never been happier to see a random mother bring a plate full of nachos and hot dogs to sell at school.

“So, I’m supposed to ask the whole council about this, but I’d like to lay out my options first…” Sam took The Mighty Notebook from his bag and placed it on the middle of the table, pushing my things aside. ‘How rude!’ I thought, but didn’t give it too much importance.

“A sexy car wash is-” “Out of the question” I interrupted him “This isn’t a teen tv show. We can’t sexualize our football players.”

“Well, you can, you just don’t want to. Anyway… Cake sale?” My friend took a pen and crossed out the ‘sexy car wash’ option.

“People’ll get tired of it if we keep doing those. Parents already sell food at sports games and they’re not exactly rare to see, we have one almost every two weeks.” I hated being the party pooper, but if it helped him pick the right choices… “It can be done, but we can rehash that idea too many times. That’s what I mean.”

“Oooookay” He didn’t cross that one out, but instead added a big “(?)” next to it. “Last one I thought about, for now, was a winter’s ball kind of thing. Selling tickets for prom is apparently a great way to raise funds, but I’m not waiting until the end of the school year for that.”

“We’d need the principal’s permission for that but… you should discuss that one with the cheerleaders, they’ll love the idea. The more ‘prom nights’ there are, the merrier for them, huh?” This time, he made a tick next to the option, like it was validated for the meeting later.

“I wish we could do something like the drama club and just put up a lame production and sell overpriced tickets… Parents would pay anything to see their sons, right?”

“Uh, I guess so. They would probably be pretty mad if we fucked up the show, so let’s leave that one out.” Sam seemed a bit tired. I could maybe ask Dave for a little help with this whole thing, he would know what to do.

Hmm… or maybe, Dave’s ex-girlfriend?

“You should talk with Leslie.” I gave Sam a little tap on the shoulder and pointed at the girl a few rows at the back. She hadn’t noticed us, but she was really nice and tried her best to get to know me. We even sat together, like once! “Pretty sure she’d have some cool ideas that don’t sound taken from a bad movie.”

“You think so?” He took a moment to breath, relaxing on his chair. I honestly wanted to help, but I’ve never wanted to be his secretary because I’m not good with coming up with this kind of stuff. Pretty sure anybody could do a better job than me in that area. “I’ll try to catch her in the corridor. Just… don’t stare and be cool, right? I don’t wanna come off as a perv, geez. We also have this party tonight, so could I maybe approach her there? I dunno...”

The professor made his way in, with an angry look on his face. We straightened on our seats to avoid getting his attention, I don’t want to be called out by some asshole in a mood. To finish with our council chatter, I whispered to Sam a “I’m sure you’ll do fine, she’s not the devil, right?”

He chuckled a bit before answering “Don’t let Dick hear you, I kinda think he has a crush on one of those chicks.” I rolled my eyes, such a cheap gossip.

-------

If I told you that nothing else interesting happened during the day, I wouldn’t be lying.

I barely got to see Dave, just had lunch with him at the yard’s lunch tables before being separated again. He ditched football practice, and I did the same with today’s council reunion because I had a headache.

I got into an argument with a professor, too. The first class in the day, but it wasn’t anything worth looking into. He thought he was right, and he was too mad to check he wasn’t right at all. Almost got sent to the principal’s office, but I dropped the subject just in time.

I did share a classroom with Dave for the second class but… we got separated by Sam’s need to plan out his next meeting. You see why I ditched the reunion today? I wanted to rest!

Lucky me, my savior was just a few tables away, and knew exactly what I needed.

He waited for me to put my stuff back at my locker after our last class ended, and took me to his car.

I first thought he was just driving me to my house, since we didn’t speak about him staying at all, but there were no questions asked apparently. The big guy decided to give me a good time, as he pulled over in front of my house, walked around the car and lifted me on his arms.

I felt like a little brat, but it also felt amazing. Having someone who cares about you on such a deep level, like Dave does… I love it. I love him. And he loves me.

The jock opened the door with one of his hands, kicked it shut and took me to my room.

There, he softly left me on my bed before putting a strip show in front of me. Or I wasn’t really sure what that was. He just threw his shirt and jeans over to my desk chair and started searching through his school bag.

The silence was a bit boring, but I felt like talking was unnecessary right now. I just wanted to know what he was planning for the evening. He pulled out the bowser collar, huh.

“Never leave the house without it, bruh” Dave said. “What’ya waiting for? Get on your underwear, we’re doing some great cuddling t’night!”

“Uh, okay. I like where this is going...” I mumbled, before starting my own strip show. Sadly, Dave barely paid attention to me, he was trying to put on the collar by himself, but he was having some trouble.

Before dropping my pants, I walked over to him and clasped the buckle for him, tightening it enough so it wouldn’t fall off but also trying to make it comfortable for him to wear. “Hmm… Perfect, my love…” He whispered in a sexy voice, before planting a warm kiss on my lips.

I thought we were starting already, but the big guy started to run towards my bed and lied down with his arms reaching out for me. “C’mooooon, can’t wait for youuuuuu!”

I rolled my eyes and dropped my pants. Still in my underwear, just like the werewolf jock, I walked over to my bed and got grabbed by my boyfriend there.

Laying down on bed as Dave pulled me closer to his warm, almost-smooth body.

The bowser dog collar around his neck wasn’t sharp enough to hurt me, so I didn’t worry about that and just let myself be grabbed by this hunk of a jock.

“Enjoyed your day, my love?” He asked, looking at me with adoring eyes. It wasn’t creepy, I liked it. He barely acts like this at school, so his change of ‘big meanie alpha bro’ to ‘lovesick puppy boy’ was amazing to see.

“Ugh… I almost fell asleep at Mr. Cal’s class. So glad it’s Friday again…” I mumbled my answer. I tried to avoid mentioning the argument with my professor, but I’m pretty sure my class mentioned it already. Dave was pretty straightforward though, so he would probably mention it if he wanted to.

I know that I could easily not be tired if I would go to bed earlier at night, but those monsters are not going to hunt themselves in Monster Hunter, right?

“Wouldn’t mind spending all weekend just hugging you here…” Dave whispered, before placing a gentle kiss on my head. His hand was moving towards my private area, but I wasn’t going to stop him. I liked how it felt. “Just taking care of my lovely soulmate…” Another kiss, this time moving closer to my mouth.

When it comes to sexy stuff… I suck. Like, not in the literal hot way, I’m lame at it. I don’t like bottoming much, because I’m a bit of a wimp and I’m afraid of being hurt, but having Dave as a top is such a wonderful thing (After you go past that little pain at the beginning, the rest of the thing goes in like nothing) probably because he focuses too much on me having the most pleasure out of it.

So, I usually let Dave take control of the situation and just guide me wherever he wants to go. It’s not like we fuck every day though; I’ve only had my first time like a week ago. My werewolf jock would be up for it if I ordered him to, not going to lie.

But like, if we did that, it would kind of lose the magic of the moment? Like, I know Dave loves sex but even if it feels good the two times we’ve done it so far, it’s not like it’s a game-changer or anything.

So… cuddling and foreplay was the best thing ever!

“That’s sweet but don’t you have a party tonight? Sam has been talking all week about a—” I got silenced, the kiss was now happening at my mouth, cool. That’s what I get for trying to ruin such a good moment, I’m glad Dave stopped me.

His hand slipped in my underwear as he took hold of my cock and slowly stroked it. Meanwhile, we made out without a care in the world.

My breath got heavier. I felt so good at the moment, and Dave seemed to want me to stay like that for a good while. He would slow down the pace of his strokes or pick it up at just the right times.

…I had an idea.

I passed my hand through his hair as we broke the kiss, and he just looked at me in bliss. “Who’s a good puppy boy? You are, don’t you?” I whispered the question, to get him in his puppy mood.

It worked like a charm. Dave’s strokes slowed down a bit, as he started caressing himself with my hand, like a dog would do. “Yeah, bruh… Imma good puppy boy”

I ruffled his hair a bit more. “And every good puppy boy needs a good owner to take care of them, right?”

Okay, it may seem like I’m trying to do something weird or kinky here, but I actually wanted to try and make him a bit less… self-centered? I already had full control of him, due to our soulmate bond, but maybe if he saw me as a superior… He wouldn’t be so careless about others? Like he’s not at the top of the pyramid anymore?

But it didn’t work as intended, or at least not as I expected. Dave shook his head, without losing his chilled and happy expression. “Good puppy boys take care of their owners, bruh. Wanna protect and serve mine to make ‘im happy.”

It definitely wasn’t what I wanted to say, but it worked pretty well. “Who’s the owner though, puppy boy?”

“Really need me to say it?” The werewolf jock seemed a bit embarrassed to give his answer, as his cheeks turned red and he stared at me very intently. I nodded, of course. I came this far already, what I’m going to say? ‘Oh, no, I was just messing with you hahahaha well good night!’ “You’re my owner, bruh. Didn’t ya know that already? I love doing as you say…”

He leaned in for a good kiss. “…And I love you, my lovely soulmate.” He finished. Now I was the one who blushed. After that, the jock lied down beside me and pulled me to cuddle together. “Now come here, I need to make my owner feel good”

It did feel good to hear that I’m his owner. Oh geez, do I have a domination kink? Uh… I think that kind of explains why I love seeing him wearing that bowser collar, beside that it makes fun of the fact that he’s a werewolf.

He’s my good puppy boy, after all. “So, how are you going to make your owner feel good, puppy boy?” I roamed his big chest with my hands as I waited for an answer. I don’t feel like I say this enough, but I’m lucky to have this guy as my soulmate.

Dave raised an eyebrow, and spoke with a confident tone, but still curious. “What does my owner want me to do? This puppy boy will take care of it, whatever it is, huhuh”

Ooookay, if my cock was hard before, then it was aching right now with how horny I was. “Truth is, been a while since we’ve had some… action?” Oh god, I felt so dumb saying something like that. I think Dave would have laughed at me, but he actually seemed turned on by what I was implying.

“Fuck, been wanting to hear you say those words in like a week.” He kneeled on top of the bed, after pulling his underwear off. His cock was hard, as usual. I wonder if he jerks off at his house or if he’s just eager like a big horny werewolf. Speaking of his cock, Dave placed himself in such a way that his cock would be right in front of me. “C’mon bruh, show me how those lips work-”

“I was actually expecting you to suck mine off… Never did this before” If I felt dumb before, imagine how I was now. Dave seemed to try and find a solution, though.

“So, uh… never 69’d before?” I shook my head, and he let out a little sigh, but never stopped smiling. He was just a soft marshmallow when we were alone, I liked that about him. “Let me show ya”

I remained lying down, as Dave did all the work. He crawled over to my cock, got on top of my body and moved until his cock was on my face and mine was near his. The jock licked the top, giving me a little jolt of pleasure, like a little preview of what was about to come.

“Just… relax, and open wide. Not everyone can take my snake during their first time, heh” It made me wonder how many times he did this before. Or how many times did he had sex before.

I leaned forward and smelled his dong. It wasn’t bad, so I proceeded to take the piece of meat in my mouth. It didn’t taste bad at all, it was actually pleasant. I wiggled my tongue around the tip, and I could hear the big guy starting to pant already before he dove in for my cock.

‘Hell yeaaaaah’ I thought, before focusing on my own part of the job. It was a bit hard to do due to the position, but it was doable, at least. I wasn’t able to deep throat (Not that I’ve ever done that before, saw it in porn and uh… it would be nice to try out?) due to the position, too.

“You’re doing great, my love…” Dave pulled off for a second to say, before going back to the action. I felt compelled to order him something, just like the first time he gave me a blowjob. It was always so hot, looking at him doing as I said…

“Uh… hey Dave, could you take it all in and work around that?” I ordered him, way calmer than this morning. It still seemed to work, because he took my whole shaft in one go and I could feel the motion of his mouth going up and down, taking it all every time. It felt really good, but I had to return the favor.

I tried to pick up my pace too, to make him feel as good as I was. I know that I can’t possibly compete with a werewolf under the soulmate bond, he would definitely… uhhh. “I’m coming!” I warned him, but he didn’t move an inch.

The big guy took my whole load, and licked the rest of my shaft with his tongue to avoid letting a drop of my cum go to waste.

And now, it was my turn…

Dave had this order still on him. “You will cum only after I cum.” Not saying that he’s precocious but… he does seem to cum right after I’ve been pleased. Maybe he finds that hot already?

My train of thoughts was derailed by the sudden explosion of cum in my mouth. It activated my gag reflex, so I pulled off and just swallowed the one that was already in my mouth. Part of my mind found it hot, while the other found it a bit gross.

Dave was still at 69 position. I looked over at his face and he seemed to be back in obedient puppy mode. Tongue lolling out, and eyes glazed over. It was a hot sight.

“C’mon big guy, did a great job down there. Let’s just cuddle for a while, alright?” I told him, wanting to cover myself so badly. I felt a bit naked without a sheet over myself. Luckily, none of our loads fell in my bed, or I would have to change the sheets.

“Yeah, bruh…” He mumbled, before doing as I told him. He repositioned himself next to me, and lied down. His muscled body was an amazing sight, and I pulled him in for a hug.

“Who’s a good puppy boy?” I whispered, loving the feel of his warm skin against mine.

“I am, bruh. I’m a good puppy boy for my owner… huhuh…” A dopey smile appeared on his face, and I proceeded to plant a kiss on him. I wanted to write down today’s progressions or something, I still had that ‘study Dave’s behavior’ on my mind. But it seemed kind of clouded now that I was focused on taking a little break with him beside me.

It was always good to spend a good time with my lovely werewolf jock.

--------

Chapter 12 is already available in my Patreon! And by pledging you also get access to other stories before they go public!

#nate and dave #mind control #werewolf #straight to gay #gay hypnosis #hypnotized #brainwashing #brainwash #brainwashed

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sp00kymulderr · 5 years ago

Text

My Soul in the Stars (Poe Dameron x Reader)

Warnings: Post-TROS so I guess spoilers.

Word Count: 1,656

A/N: I have written a thing! It’s been a long while and I’m rusty AF and it’s possibly awful, but here’s a cute fluffy lil snippet of not-quite-unrequited love and feelings-y stuff. Enjoy, let me know if you’d read more cause uhhh I kinda wanna write a lot of Poe these days.

-----

When victory is declared, Ajan Kloss is a true centre of joy. There’s a deep sadness that won’t be shaken for a while, for the ones lost along the way, but everyone here and gone helped to defeat a regime of hate and destruction and that is something that deserves a genuine celebration.

The revelry goes on for hours and hours, until late into the night. Friends and lovers who thought they’d never see each other again reunite and it’s the purest form of beauty. Wherever you look there are smiles and tears and people full of realised hope. And somehow everywhere you look, there he is. You don’t mean to stare, but Poe Dameron has always had a way of capturing your attention and now to see him so proud and happy - you can’t help but watch him from where you sit .

He notices you and smiles from across the way, and you fluster feeling the spreading blush hot on your cheeks. You can’t help but think how stupid this is, the effect he has on you – he is incredible but you’ve been something like friends since the days when he was simply the best pilot in the galaxy. You’ve wanted to be more than that for the same amount of time, but you’re no fool to think that would ever be an option with someone whose whole being has been dedicated to this cause. He’s always been good to you, a friend and confidant you knew you could trust, but he’d never sought out anything more so neither had you.

Poe is kept busy most of the night; you see him and Finn every now and then surrounded by friends and deep in conversation. You’re surprised then, late into the night when people are finally retiring to their quarters, when you feel someone sit down next to you at the fireside and turn to see him.

“General” you greet him, with a grin. He nods his head and bumps shoulders with you. Suddenly you feel warm despite the breeze.

“Want some?” He asks with a kind smile, holding up a bottle of something potent, some kind of brandy. Good thing he’s always been able to hold his liquor. You shake your head, watching as he takes a swig from the bottle. Pondering him for a moment you try to subtly take in his handsome profile, his breathtaking features – wanting to etch them in to your memory. He stares back at you after a minute.

“It’s been a while” he points out, somewhat apologetically. He’s not wrong, you’ve barely seen him since Crait. “How are you feeling?” Poe asks now, talking about the visible scrapes on you from the battle. You’d been on the ground team, doing what you could to help the fighters in the sky. To help him.

“I missed you” you say simply, and then “We won”. You haven’t fully processed it yet. But then who has?

He’s smiling, nodding with a laugh, but you can tell there’s more on his mind than just the victory. He wants someone to talk to, and as long as you’ve known each other you’ve been that someone.

So for what feels like hours that’s exactly what you do—you talk about the battle and about your lives. About fear and trust, life and death. He admits things to you that he hasn’t told any of the others. Everything that comes to mind. It feels so good to be talking so freely to someone who makes you want to open up and you can tell that he feels the same. It feels so right, does he feel that too?

After a while, you come to a natural silence – it’s comfortable and calm as you both stare out to the distance. Listening to the cheers and chatter of those still awake. You’ve edged closer together, and all you want to do in this moment is kiss him and tell him how much you needed him with you like this. Instead you stay quiet, accepting the drink when he offers it to you again.

“What do we do now?”

You finally break the contented silence, a melancholy whisper to the stars. Poe isn’t sure if you’re asking him or them, if you’re even aware he’s there in that moment, so instead of answering you he simply takes your hand in his. Your skin is so soft against his, his touch more gentle than you could have ever imagined.

You sigh and he doesn’t miss the small smile tugging at your lips at the unexpected but welcome contact. You both say silent, hands touching for a while longer before you speak again. You pray that he doesn’t pick up on your suddenly quickened heartbeat.

“Do you ever think about going home, Poe?”

Poe doesn’t answer, but you can feel the mood shifting. He doesn’t talk about home, not often. You know about his parents, but not much else. He shifts slightly, turning his head to the side and hiding his expression.

“Sorry, you don’t-” you start, feeling like you shouldn’t have asked but he shakes his head and starts to speak.

“I think about it, sure, all the time. But everything’s changed” he shrugs “Going back now would be different. Bittersweet but...” his low, tired voice fades and you don’t push him to finish his thoughts. Of course you understand, everyone whose been through this would. The fight took so much from everyone and so many people here have little to return to.

You’re ready to make a new life, start from scratch with the building blocks of what’s been left behind. A braver version of you, the one who didn’t fear the certain rejection, would ask him to come with you. But in your heart you can already tell that Poe isn’t done here yet, he may never be.

He takes another swig of the drink and lets out a long breath.

“The war might be won, but the fight isn’t over yet. There are people out there – people that need our help. There are cities to be rebuilt, lost to be found, prisoners to free. The Resistance isn’t going to end tomorrow, and I’m not finished yet” His face in the moonlight is full of purpose, fiery determination in his tired eyes. “I can’t rest until I know things have been put right. For Leia, for everyone” he’s quiet, a passing whisper of his intent.

You turn to him. This passion, this unshakeable instinct to put others first is part of the reason you care so much about him, but it could also be his downfall. You can see him burning out, letting the storm in his restless soul rage for too long. You’re scared for him and you want to be there to help him through it, soothe him and calm him. How do you tell him that?

“You have to exist beyond this. I know you’ll never just stop fighting but-” you start but you’re barely sure where your words are taking you “It’s so selfish of me...Poe-”

“Yes?” He whispers, so close to you now, speaking your name in to the dark.

“I’m- kriff, I have to say it, I’m in love with you. And I don’t want to miss you again. I’m not telling you to retire from the Resistance and spend your days at home, but I wish you’d take some time to just be. With me” you let it out, finally freeing your heart. It takes you by surprise.

He turns to you, wide eyed in some sort of shock for a minute and he doesn’t say a thing.

You’ve ruined it now.

“Ok” it’s barely even spoken but you ear and and then his finger are on your chin tilting your head towards his. His murmurs your name and you close your eyes, because it feels right, and within seconds you feels his lips meet yours and you’re kissing.

Poe Dameron is kissing you.

You wonder for a moment if you’re in the afterlife because this can’t be real. But it is, it is because somewhere behind you there’s a cheer. There’s the beep of droids, and the soft breeze through the trees. There’s his fingers intertwined with yours and the scent of brandy and smoke around you. His lips, soft and careful, caressing against yours until he pulls away.

“Stars” you exhale, opening your eyes and seeing him beautiful and really smiling back at you with the same dazed, overwhelmed expression.

He ducks his head down bashfully and takes your other hand in his, then says those words that you’d only ever dreamt of.

“I love you, too”

“You do?” you stutter, your heart skipping a beat. He lets out a small laugh and you blush again feeling his fingers now brushing through your hair and coming to rest against your neck.

“Of course I do.” He looks almost offended by the question “I feel like I can breathe when you’re around, I feel the stars and everything in between. You’re my light...my hope. I’m sorry I’ve been gone, it’s my fault that it’s taken us time to get there, but I think we’re meant to be. I’ve known it since the beginning” There’s that same passion in him now, his face telling you he’s fully realising these emotions as he speaks them. You. It’s always been you.

“Me too” you admit, to his unabashed delight “Oh, Poe”

“I never thought this day could bring any more happiness, but here you are”

You laugh with joy and it sounds like a melody to him, beautiful and bright. And then he’s kissing you again, letting that song fill his being and give him strength.

It’s true that he won’t rest until there’s true harmony in the galaxy, but for tonight he can live with knowing there’s finally peace in his heart because he has you by his side.

-----

#Poe Dameron #poe dameron x reader #Poe Dameron x you #Poe Dameron imagine #Oscar Isaac #fluff #Fic #one shot #I tried

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dayasbun · 5 years ago

Note

kinda soft but reader and zendaya just had a baby :)

THISISSOCUTESTOPMAKINGMECRY okay this starts w you and z waiting for the baby to be born so you two are in the waiting room of the hospital. {ya’ll are married!!} the birth mom {Sofia} is in labor and you and z are nervous as hell waiting for this lil one to come out healthy and strong. then after that will be just a few new parent experiences! this is so precious and by far one of the cutest and favorite soft requests for z i have ever gotten, so enjoy angel, and i genuinely thank you for this request, it brought me so much joy to write

The Waiting Room.

“What if she doesn’t live or- what if she’s born with challenges? Baby, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if she- I didn’t even carry her, I know Sofia did but-”

“Love.” You said in a soft and reassuring tone. “Our baby will be just fine. I know it.” You rubbed your thumb against your wife’s hand softly, something that always reassured her and calmed her down a bit.

Zendaya let out a shaky sigh and nodded. “I’m probably freaking out over nothing…”

“Yeah, pretty much!” You chuckled. “Baby Sky will be just fine. I bet you in less than an hour we’ll be holding her, telling her how gorgeous she already is and how many things she’s going to accomplish. Telling her that she’s a lover, not a fighter, just like her Mommy Z.” You leaned your head on Daya’s shoulder, closing your eyes and smiling. “It’s crazy, I couldn’t wait for 9 months to be up, and now all I gotta do is be patient for an hour or two and I feel like I’m over here dying.”

“Me too-”

“Zendaya and Y/N, I have news!” the male gray-headed doctor announced as he walked towards you guys. He was the same one that had told you two to stay calm from the start, and was sure to send nurses out now and then to update you two.

You and Zendaya quickly jumped up out of your seats, your eyes wide. “Which is?” You questioned. All you could do was pray in your head that your baby would be born healthy, and all would be well.

“She’s here. And she’s absolutely gorgeous- healthy too.”

The Delivery Room.

You had seen a multitude of beautiful people in your life, your wife being one of them. Some days you just looked at her and thought, ‘Wow. Out of all of the people in the world, I got her.’ It was a common thought you had, but never about anyone but Z.

But as you held such a little bundle of joy- such an angel in your arms, and as you felt her tiny hand wrap around your finger, you knew.

You knew that this little girl was one of the most beautiful human beings you had ever laid eyes on. You felt so lucky to be blessed to know she would call you ‘Momma’ or ‘Mommy’. And it was in that moment you decided that you would do everything you could- ever- to protect her from all of the dangers of the world, to keep her safe, and always smiling.

Miss Skylar Rose Coleman was born on October 10th at 9:42 A.M. Daya wouldn’t stop calling her ‘Spooky Baby!’ because every time she said it she earned a little smile from her. Skylar Rose had the most beautiful curly brown hair you had ever seen, and quite a head of it considering she had just been born. She cried when she first came out, but after that, she stayed quite silent. The doctors were worried for a moment, thinking something was wrong (which almost send you into a full panic attack), but soon learned she was just fine as long as she had some lovin’.

As soon as the nurses dared to pull the little one away from you or Zendaya’s arms, screams could be heard throughout the whole hospital. And though you told her to “Shhhh,” You didn’t really want her to. That was her way of showing you that she already loved you, and that was something you would never forget.

1 month.

“Daya!” You screamed upstairs. The woman quickly ran down the spiral staircase wearing a tank and shorts, her bushy brown hair pulled up into the messiest bun you had ever seen.

“What?!” She asked worriedly, and you could tell you had scared her.

“Look, just look.” You picked up Skylar from the floor and held her close to you. “Who does Momma love? Does Momma love…Daya?”

A quick grunt was heard from Skylar and the most unpleasant facial expression show on her face. Zendaya raised a brow and chuckled as she watched, fully amused.

“Oh, that’s right!…Does Momma love Skylar?”

Instead of the past reaction, this time the little angel cooed with a smile, blinking a bit as her lips turned to a satisfied ‘O’.

“See! Baby knows who Momma really loves more.” You teased, placing Sky in between some pillows for some supervised tummy time.

“Hmmm, I don’t know. I still think Momma loves me more.” Z replied, wrapping her arms around you from the back, her face comfortably fitting into the crook of your neck. She peppered kisses against it, causing you to shiver a bit.

“Shhhh.” You said spinning around and facing her. “Don’t tell Sky this but…I still love her more!” You giggled pulling away.

Daya shook her head laughing, sitting on the floor next to Sky. “I love you.”

“I love you too-” you replied, but were quickly cut off by a jokingly snarky Zendaya.

“Oh, is that you Y/N?! I was talking to Sky!”

4 months.

“Come on angel girl, you can do it!” You and Z cheered as though you two were cheerleaders at a (very soft?) football game.

But no, you were simply sitting on the floor with a very determined baby girl that you were lucky enough to call your daughter in front of you. She was trying to roll over, and god she was close. The doctor told you two not to force it, which meant not helping her to do it, and to let her do it herself. So you two weren’t per se forcing her- a bit of cheerful encouragement couldn’t hurt.

Just moments after you two had begun cheering her on, she rolled over completely- and Z got it on tape. You two burst into excitement, attacking the small child with kissies and little huggies. She beamed with joy and absolutely loved all of the attention.

You and Z knew from a very very young age that Sky would be a little show stopper. You both knew she would be gorgeous- which was something else within itself, but the way that girl did stuff just to get one of her Mommies’ attention was unreal. Put her down for two seconds? Suddenly it’s time for a diaper change. Gotta use the bathroom for two minutes? You come back to her striking a pose in the crib. It was quite precious though, the way she loved you two endlessly. And all you and Zendaya did was love her back just as much.

The press tended to ask you a lot of the exact same question. Since you and Z had decided on not bringing Skylar up in the public eye quite yet, that’s all they seemed to have questions about. The most common one was always, “Is little Skylar Rose spoiled at all?” And every time, the same answer.

“Yes.”

8 months.

‘They grow up so fast!’

Something you had heard your whole life and was so tired of hearing.

Until you started saying it.

You never realized how truthful the statement was, you still couldn’t believe your baby- your Skylar Rose was almost one year. She was crawling, babbling, feeding herself and playing with toys. It seemed as though she was trying to say words, and the growth was incredible to watch.

You talked to her often, she loved your voice. Whenever she would cry, all you had to do was talk to her and away went the tears. And don’t even get me started with when Daya started singing.

Sky was getting even more clingy, and at a whopping 21 pounds, it was harder to carry her as much as you usually did. Of course, that didn’t stop you from acting like your baby was velcro to you. Though Zendaya started trying to convince you that you should let your baby be a bit more independent, crawl more places and get to the walking stage, you honestly didn’t listen.

It was a warm June day the first time Skylar said both of your names. After doing a bit of research you learned that it was quite rare for a baby to officially start babbling names on repeat out of nowhere, so you felt blessed. The three of you- excuse me, four, Noon was included as well- sat on a light blue picnic blanket in the backyard. Skylar ate her applesauce as you and Z talked whilst eating sandwiches. And in the midst of the conversation came:

“Momma! Zee-Zee!”

You practically choked on the sandwich, while Z actually did.

“DID SHE JUST-” she sputtered out through coughs.

“SHE DID-” you exclaimed in awe, partly patting her back but mostly focusing on Skylar.

“Toon!” Sky giggled pointed at Noon, who scooted closer to her and placed his head by her feet. He had already embraced the name, he knew Sky didn’t say it right, but hey- it was an attempt.

Quickly pulling out your phone you turned on the camera. “Say it again cutie patootie!”

“Momma, Zee-Zee!”

“SHE SAYS TOON TOO LISTEN-” You screamed excitedly.

Sure enough, after 30 seconds of dead anticipation filled silence, out squealed Sky. “Toon,” she said softly, placing her chubby hand onto his fur. You dropped the camera as you hugged Z, both of you welling up with emotion and a sense of pride. “She’s not even 10 months yet this usually happens at 10 months-”

You usually didn’t post videos of Sky on social media, now and then maybe a rare picture. But this video was going up immediately.

1 year.

“Happy Birthday to youuuuu!”

Skylar Rose Coleman was officially a year old.

You called your baby a genius- she may not have been, but you still couldn’t believe how early she started talking. The doctors said it was due to you and Z never shutting up around her- Sky wanted to join the conversation too!

Now she had longer nails, longer hair. She had the cutest little button nose that had barely changed in the year you had raised her, and the tiniest fingers and little toes. She had the cutest laugh and the most gorgeous smile- she was a little person now, not just a small being that lived off of milk and crawled around looking for toys. She had a personality, she understood what was going on around her. It was quite scary to think that she was growing so fast, already beginning to comprehend things.

You grinned as you watched Tom smash cake in his hands just like Skylar did. The first birthday party was quite the success, everyone that knew Skylar loved her just as much as you two did. This resulted in gifts from not only friends and family that were invited to the party, but from people all over the world. A total of 1,798 gifts had been given to publicists, managers, or to you and Z personally on outings to give to Sky on her 1st birthday.

‘He’s such a mature man.” You joked to Z pointing towards Tom. Now he was putting the cake on his face, getting quite the laugh out of both Jake Gyllenhaal and Skylar.

“Mhm, remember when you used to be so jealous of that mature man?”

“Oh shut up, I was never jealous!” You defended yourself, knowing you were lying. Watching Zendaya and Tom together used to completely boil your blood, especially considering the rumors you and everyone else heard about them.

“Why do you spend more time with Tom than me?! Am I not good enough?!” She mocked you.

“One time- and that was like 3 years ago, how do you even remember that?!”

“I remember because that was the exact moment I decided that I was going to ask you to marry me.”

You smiled a bit and shook your head. “I love you…We did this. Can you believe it?”

“Can I believe I kept a living thing alive that wasn’t a plant or a dog alive for a full year? No, I can’t.”

You laughed wrapping your arms around her neck. “There are so many more years to come, Baby.”

“And I can’t wait to spend every single one of those years with you…by the way, the way that dress is hugging your body…”

“Damnit Daya can’t we have one romantic moment?!” You joked. She knew you loved the attention, both her girls did, you and Sky.

“Oh, I can get romantic if you’d like me to…you know Sky has started sleeping pretty much through the whole night now.”

“Mhm.”

“And there’s a lot of things I would absolutely love to do that we haven’t properly done in the past year.”

“Oh really now?

“Lemme just say be glad you’re not a man.”

“And why should I be glad about that?

“Because well…we would probably be making another baby.”

Your lips parted as you looked up at her and shook your head. “What am I going to do with you?!”

“Right now I would like to think that you are going to go cut me a piece of cake!”

“The way your moods change- and yes, I will. But before I do, one other thing.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you Zendaya Maree Stoermer Coleman.”

“I love you Y/F/N Y/M/N Coleman.”

“Forever!” You called back to her as you walked away and over to Sky.

“Foreva!” Sky giggled, smearing a bit of cake on your face as you leaned down to give her a kiss.

Yep, definitely a genuis.

#zendaya #zendaya coleman #euphoria #zendaya x y/n #zendaya blurb #zendaya x reader #zendaya fluff #zendaya fic #zendaya fanfic #zendaya imagine

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cookidoughlilac · 5 years ago

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10 Questions Tag Game!

I was tagged by the amazing @lenle-g and honestly thank you!! 🧡 I'm so excited to do this!!!

1. Favourite fictional character and why they’re special to you!!! Oh gosh, I have so many! So I’m gonna name a few because they are special to meeeeee! Captain Ridley O’Bannon - female space captain, I wanna be her and I wanna date her Asmodeus - he’s so into self-care that he literally inspired me to look after myself more Rosalina - I was like... 8 - 10 when my family got super mario galaxy and I was in love with young Rosalina, to the point where I had a teeny tiny frame of her. I guess I was always a lil gay, even before I realised!

2. What was your most memorable birthday everrrrrrr? Definitely my 14th birthday where my friends planned a doctor who surprise party for me. Dad took me out of the house for a few hours, and when I came back mum told me to change into a new doctor who tshirt, and then clean the dining room as I was going to hold my party in there. I changed into the tshirt, and when I opened the dining room door, all my friends turned in slow motion to look at me. I was so surprised to see them, but it was the best thing.

3. If you were a SUPER COOL dragon, what would your hoarde be full of?!? I’d be the type of dragon who’d insist on having a lot of comfy things around. I’m talking blankets, pillows, cuddly toys, all of that! I’d also have a bunch of consoles lying around so you could get cosy and play all your favourite games, or watch your favourite shows/movies. I can imagine some princesses would not mind being kidnapped from me if it meant escaping royal duty for a while!

4. If you were going to be given a massIVE super cute bunch of flowers, what kind of flowers would you want them to be!!! Sunflowers would be the best in a bunch! They’re so bright and always bring a smile to my face! But any flower would be lovely in a bunch, as long as they aren’t harmful to my cats!

5. Favourite artist? On the internet or for a game or in a gallery, I don’t mind, art is art! This is so open a question!! Nothing like a challenge though >:D A few of the online artists I really love are... @otromeru @shokujin-shot @gagakumadraws @obaby-obeyme @boxbusiness @lenle-g (you are getting a lotta tags in this 😇) @smallroars1 and I think that’s it at the moment?? I think I missed so many though...

Paintings in galleries are different, because I like more historic paintings that were commissioned. Paintings like The Execution of Lady Jane Grey catch my attention, but I also love paintings of various queens during the Tudor period. I also really like The Family of Henry VIII.

Lastlyyyyyy, if we’re talking about game art, literally anything from the To The Moon series. It’s my favourite game series, and the narrative of each story actually brings tears. As well as the music... when you put it all together, you cry. A lot. Because of how perfect it is.

6. Favourite fanfiction eveR! (a BIG ASK I know) Oh Oh no There’s so many amazing fics I’ve read I guess it depends on the mood I’m in, determining a favourite However if we’re talking fics I’ve written then I’m dead proud of my Obey Me fics

7. Describe a super happy moment to me! I’d love to know!!! I can offer two extremely special moments from last year!!

First was the Microsoft Build conference I attended in May 2019. I was told not even a full week before Dad and I were due to fly out to Seattle. The conference was a week before my A-Level exams were due to start but oh boy it was the best! I met some amazing people and learnt some crazy cool things!

Second was when I flew up to see Misha for the first time!! We matched our clothes pretty much the entire time I was up there - from our Star Trek gear the first day, to a Nessie tshirt Misha bought us the second, and then our Thunderbird tshirts the third day! It was the bet experience and I cannot wait until she gets to come down so we can do more amazing things together!! Honestly that experience was precious!

8. Do you have any ideal places, anywhere in the world, that you would just LOVE to go on an ADVENTUREEE? Oh gosh, I’d love to explore Japan! I’m so intrigued by the culture and the food! But I also would always love to go back to the Kennedy Space Centre in Florida. I’ve been there twice but it’s always magical to go and see real rockets!! and touch real moon rocks!! and walk under Saturn V!!!

9. If your friends could do one super lovely thing for you, what would you most like it to be? LET ME LOVE THEMMMM Honestly though, being able to make memories with my friends is enough. I love them all so much

10. What’s the most precious, special ‘THIS SPARKS JOY’ thing you own? My Nana has been making blankets and pillows for my birthdays for years, and I treasure them so much! One day I plan on actually getting to grips with sowing to make one for her!

Here are my questions I’d love to see @samantha-tvandmovies @kenirubes and @lenle-g do if you all want to!

1. Which hobby would you love to get into, but haven’t yet?

2. Describe your dream date (could be with a partner, with friends - it’s up to you!)

3. What type of flower would you be and why?

4. What song never fails to get you singing and dancing along?

5. What was your favourite story to read/be read to you when you were little? Do you like like it now??

6. What’s your all-time favourite photo? Is there a story behind it?

7. Are there any languages you’d like to learn? (coding languages included because I’m a neeeerd haha)

8. You’re allowed to choose any enclosure at a zoo/aquarium to look after. Which do you choose an why?

9. Who always makes you smile?

10. Which era(s) or history would you want to visit and why? Is it for the food? The people?? The clothes?? Something else?? I’m curious! :D

#yes len I'm tagging you again if you want to do them because your questions were so much fun and I wanna return that!!#tag game

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poedamern · 5 years ago

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You’re my Joy. ⏤ Jasmine x Female Reader

PAIRING: Jasmine x Handmaiden!Female Reader / LENGTH: 2.1k / DISCLAIMER: Gif is not mine! NOTE: i’m so happy you requested this! #HAPPYPRIDEMONTH / SUMMARY: aladdin AU where aladdin and jasmine meet all the same but have become really good friends who go on secret adventures together instead of becoming lovers, due to jasmine falling in love with her handmaiden. jasmine still desires to be sultan as the princess but makes ground on becoming one with each and every day. / WARNINGS: bi vibes all round! jealousy, a lil angst, comedy and fluff for the heart. also mild nudity. (sorry!)

The way her hair fell down her back, the stylish outfits she wore, her friendly aura and how soft her hands were against Jasmine’s neck whenever she took off her royal jewellery for the night. Jasmine always felt small sparks lighting against her skin and the smallest of touches. It was ridiculous, truly, Jasmine would have never imagined she would feel this way about one of her handmaidens but she did, deeply and unconditionally.

“How does that feel?” Y/N asks, making sure to store away the jewels back in their safe boxes before undoing the clasp tied in the back of Jasmine’s hair, letting it fall comfortably over her shoulders. “Perfect.” Jasmine smiles softly, grabbing onto Y/N’s hands, squeezing them lightly. “What would I do without you?” She asks, sighing softly. “You’d be getting into all sorts of trouble and we both know that. Even Dalia knows that.” Y/N laughs, turning to fetch some tea for the princess. “Dalia can be very brash in her responses, though, we’re used to it of course.” Jasmine teases, running a hand on top of Rajah’s head as he makes his way to Jasmine’s side, never too far. It has been a long day for all of them, several meetings with cities across the way, debates on poverty, the wellbeing of Agrabah with her father and Jafar’s antics. She was just so happy she could be alone with those closest to her at the end of the day.

“Dalia’s honesty will always be cherished.” Y/N chuckles, heating the tea to it’s proper temperature, remembering exactly how Jasmine likes it, different temperatures for morning and night. As much as Y/N was a handmaiden to Jasmine, taking care of all her needs and wishes, she was more than that. A great friend but to Jasmine, she wished for more.

“Princess? Handmaiden?” You both hear a familiar voice come from the Princess’s balcony, turning to look in the direction of the sound, giving each other a look of speculation as to who it could be. Rajah is the first to make his way over, sniffing the air, ears flicking before taking a seat in the middle of the balcony as a figure climbs over the railing. “Aladdin!” Jasmine yells, ready to scold the street rat for yet again breaking in to the palace. Aladdin falls over the other side of the railing in reaction, causing Y/N to laugh. “Jasmine, you don’t want the guards to hear right?” – “Yeah Jasmine, We’ve been through this almost several times now, it’s practically routine now.” Aladdin jumps up from his spot and gives some welcoming pats to Rajah, who purrs contently in return, tail swaying from side to side.

Jasmine rolls her eyes, crossing her arms. “So now you two are ganging up on me are you? My own handmaiden and the street rat?” Walking down the balcony steps she checks the surrounding area for any guards on watch, some had gotten word of thieves breaking into the palace but for Aladdin’s safety, she always denied the claims. “And how exactly is your handmaiden doing?” Aladdin asks, bowing in both of your directions. Y/N smiles as Aladdin takes her hand and gives it a light kiss, playful and endearing. Jasmine tries her hardest not to scowl at the act. “Just fine, without you.” Jasmine retorts, as if it’s matter of fact.

“Though, I don’t mind the occasional visits, right Jasmine? We can always use an extra friend or two around.” Y/N says, ruffling Aladdin’s hair in a teasing manner. Rajah grunts in response. “Of course you’re always first pick Rajah, you know that. Spoilt little thing.” Y/N goes over to rub his furry cheeks together. “Little? Has she lost her mind?” Aladdin jokes, taking a seat up on the balcony railing. Jasmine laughs softly under her breath, admiring the way Y/N interacts with Rajah. “No, just in a world of her own.” – “Oh, where’s Abu?” Y/N perks up, curious to find the smaller animal. Aladdin looks surprised and turns to look for him. “He was right behind me– Oh Abu!” He jumps off the balcony and towards Y/N, moving her dress to the side to see him hiding in the fabric. “What are you doing there?” Aladdin scolds Abu. Abu shrugs with his characteristic chirp before jumping up on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Well hello to you too Abu. You better have not stolen anything Abu, here I was thinking Aladdin was the cheeky one.” Y/N teased, bringing her finger up to scratch under Abu’s chin. Aladdin laughs and rubs the back of his neck, slightly flustered. “Well– I do take after Abu just a little bit. But this one likes to cause a whole lot more trouble.” He points an accusing finger at Abu. Jasmine watches from the small ottoman she sits on, Rajah now by her side once again. Y/N and Aladdin so deep in their own conversation she feels like a witness to it all, a strange sense of anger rising in her chest. Was this jealousy? How was it that they got along so well but she struggled just to say the right things around Y/N? She’d blame her upbringing and not being able to socialise like a normal citizen but– she had all the chances to learn. Nothing was scarier than facing her true emotions.

It hurt to see their chemistry grow each time they got to see each other, she couldn’t take another moment of it. Standing from her place, Rajah purrs curiously, concerned for his master as she walked back to her chambers. “Is there something you need, Princess Jasmine?” Y/N asks, worry written across her face. “No. You’ve done enough.” Jasmine tries to say with indifference but it comes out colder than expected. She flinches at her own tone but makes her way to the bath, leaving Y/N and Aladdin to their own devices. “Jasmine, wait–” Aladdin tries to talk to her but it’s too late. He exhales, disappointed he didn’t get the chance to talk to her more. “Do you think she’s okay?” He asks. “I think she’s just had a long day. I’m sorry Aladdin. Is there something you would like me to send on to her?” Y/N takes his hand, apologetic. “No, I’ll be back tomorrow night– By then I can tell her my plans for our next adventure.” His wide charming smile back like nothing ever happened. “Make sure Jasmine rests well and that you take good care of her okay? For all of us. For all of Agrabah.” Aladdin waves goodbye, slipping back over the balcony railing. “See you tomorrow, street rat.” Y/N teased, watching as the boy jumped down and over, Abu following close behind. “Let’s go Rajah, we have a Princess to care for.” Y/N says with a new sense of determination, Rajah following closely behind.

Jasmine never usually sets up the bath, hasn’t done so in years, but after minutes of figuring out what oils, essences and soaps to put in the bath, she was soon surrounded by comforting bubbles, the hot water soothing her jealous feelings. “Oh, Princess Jasmine?” Y/N sing-songs, Jasmine watching as her shadowed figure walked across the bath screen. “Yes handmaiden?” She responds, not using her name. “Do you need any assistance?” – “No, no. I am perfectly capable of taking a bath.” Jasmine hears Y/N giggle from behind the screen, even her figure through the layer of drapes was beautiful, graceful. “Well the smell of spearmint and thyme tell me otherwise princess, you know thyme is your morning routine and lavender is your night.” Y/N says as she walks into the bathroom without warning. Jasmine tenses and looks away, bashful. “I–I guess it slipped my mind.” Jasmine stutters, Y/N had seen Jasmine naked on several occasions due to hygiene and general health care but she never got used to Y/N’s eyes on her body.

Rolling her sleeves up, Y/N takes a seat next to the bathtub, bringing one of the bowls of lavender oil to the edge, pouring it into balance out the thyme. “Thyme can irritate the skin if it’s not poured and warmed correctly with the right carrier oil.” Y/N speaks, although it doesn’t sound like it’s directed right at Jasmine, just more of a fun fact, knowledge to be shared. “Irritation can be caused by other essences too such as spearmint, cinnamon, clove, oregano–” – “Y/N.” Jasmine interrupts, her eyes glued to the side of her handmaiden’s face. Y/N looks up at Jasmine, eyes curious, almost doe like. Jasmine’s heart catches in her throat. “What are your thoughts on Aladdin?” She may be considered petty for thinking such things but she needed to know. “Thoughts?” Y/N tilts her head, slightly confused by the query. “Do you find him– attractive? charming?” Jasmine runs her hands over the water’s surface, watching the bubbles swirl around.

Y/N laughs softly, sounding like a wind chime in a summer’s breeze to Jasmine. “Unlike Dalia, I don’t fawn over many men. I don’t fawn over many people to be truly honest with you. Aladdin is kind, has a good heart.” Jasmine purses her lips at the reply, scared. “But–.” Y/N’s hand slides down her forearm down to her hand, pulling it up above water and rubbing the palm of Jasmine’s hand with experienced technique. “He doesn’t bring the same sort of joy as someone else in my life does.” She states, simple as fact, her face calm and collected. Jasmine looks at her in shock, frowning slightly. “Who brings you that joy?” Jasmine asks, as if it’s the golden secret hiding beneath the cave of wonders. “You. Jasmine.” The name rolls off of Y/N’s lips so elegantly, so poised. “I guess I’m the luckiest handmaiden in all of the country to be able to be by your side, watching you be the strong woman that you are without a care for other’s perceptions of you.” She smiles up at Jasmine, laying her hand back down in the tub.

“Y/N– I–” Jasmine struggles to find the words. Y/N just shakes her head, grabbing a hold of Jasmine’s long thick hair, bringing it back over her shoulders as to not get wet. “Whatever it is you need from me, I will do without question. Please know that.” She goes to stand from her spot next to Jasmine only to be stopped by the grasp of Jasmine’s hand on her wrist. She was right, Jasmine was strong and powerful but she was also determined without shame. Having given her the confidence, Jasmine stands from the bath, hair cascading down her slender back, body now exposed to Y/N as she pulls her closer. Y/N only looks from her wrist up to Jasmine’s face, patiently waiting for her Princess’s words. “Would it be selfish of me, as a Princess, to ask her handmaiden to be accepting of her love?” Jasmine asks in a soft whisper, their faces now only inches away. Y/N’s eyes widen before they glimmer in the reflection of the night light coming through the chambers bathroom stained windows. “Only slightly selfish. But a Princess who is not selfish for her own quality of life is a Princess living in fear.” Y/N answers Jasmine’s question. “I do not wish to live in fear anymore, Y/N.” – “Neither do I.”

The warm touch of Y/N’s breath cascading across Jasmine’s lips as she leans closer is captivating, her eyes slowly closing, welcoming Jasmine into her space. With lips parted, Jasmine leans in and latches her lips onto Y/N’s with a silent hum of contentment. Jasmine can feel Y/N shiver against the touch, her hands coming to rest on her arms. Jasmine brings a hand up to Y/N’s cheek and slightly deepens the kiss, wanting to cherish it, every moment, every second. They stay like that, for a moment’s pass until Y/N pulls back, a flushed look on her face. Jasmine pulls her back, only to press their foreheads together, whispering. “I promise to give you as much joy as you deserve.” – “And I promise to remind you every day of how effortlessly your presence gives me joy.” They chuckle under short breaths. The remainder of the night they stay glued to each others sides, their hearts burning with love and cheeks hurting from smiling so much. Jasmine was ready to face the entire world for Y/N, nothing could stop her– not now, not ever.

#jasmine imagine #aladdin imagine #jasmine x reader #aladdin x reader #jasmine x female reader #writing:imagine #imagine:fluff #imagine:angst #fluff #angst #rated #imagine:rated

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codys-writing-wall · 5 years ago

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Modern/Reincarnation AU - Hubert/Felix Fluff (Blankets)

A note beforehand, Felix is out of character for AU plot related reasons, so out of the AU he’s OOC, but for the AU this is just how he is. Anyways, let’s move on now.

-------

It was an unexpected thing, truth be told. But in all honesty, Hubert wasn't ever going to complain about it.

Edelgard relieving Hubert, as well as Ferdinand, of their duties had him at a standstill. He had nowhere to go, to turn to. He didn't know what to do in life, so the only thing he ever did at that point was keep to his office in his home and work. Writing reports, evaluating progress reports among the other nobles in the committees he is appointed in, that took over his life even further. He had no hobbies, no favorite things aside from a book or two and playing chess, and a favorite coffee. Aside from that, he was a husk, not knowing where to turn to fill himself up, so he never did it.

Until they came along.

That person, whose smile could light up the dark and foggy path in Hubert's mind, and their hyperactive and sweet joy that could bring a smile to even Hubert's own face. That heartache and depression that made Hubert feel the empathy he had always denied having, and made him actually want to step out to help and protect. That person, their friendship, their love, no matter if platonic or otherwise, has awoken something special in Hubert.

Felix has awoken the emotion in him that he always thought he never had until now.

Felix's drastic changes in time don't bother him one bit. If anything, he holds them dear as he holds Felix himself. They're a part of Felix. Felix is finally showing his true colors as he throws away all of the layers that he hid his own emotions under for so long, something that Hubert will always empathize with. Felix likes him, trusts him enough to show these things, and Hubert couldn't be more thankful. Felix voices his sentiments directly, leaving nothing in the dark with that lack of a filter of his. Though of course having autism helps that lack be more obvious, but that's perfectly okay. It's helped them get closer.

Hubert sees Felix, and all of his vices and virtues, and sees someone he treasures.

---

"I'm home-"

Hubert stood in the doorway, staring on at the big pile of blankets and pillows in the center of the main room. The tiny giggles he could hear beneath the pile had him failing to keep that straight face, and a small smile raised the corners of his lips.

"Now what might this be?" He asked.

The blankets lifted ever so slightly, and a nose and lips peeked out of that raised part.

"...A blanket nest. Come in here with me, it's all warm and comfy-... Wait...there's a lil' something ya gotta do first, actually."

Hubert huffed out a small laugh of amusement and shook his head as he looked down at this sight. It was a silly thing, but it wasn't like it was unpleasant in the slightest, so Hubert decided he might just play along with this.

"What do I need to do to be granted welcome into such a sturdy and majestic foundation, might I ask?"

"Ppff, sturdier than my asshole for sure." Felix mumbled with a grin, and lifted the blankets further to expose his full face now, with a flash of mischief in those eyes of his as he resituated to rest on one of his arms, the other keeping the blanket lifted. "But anyway, what you need to do for me is a reactionary test. You react the right way, you get to come in. Sound good?"

Hubert raised a brow, but nodded anyways. He was intrigued to see where this would go, that's for sure.

"Good." Felix's eyes narrowed, and it was obvious then that he had a plan. Hubert always knew the meaning of his gestures, but nothing could've prepared him for what he heard next.

"What would you do if I told you I really have wanted to cuddle with you for a long time? What would you do if I told you that I've wanted to hold onto you by your arm as we walk together, and maybe even your hands if I'm lucky? How would you react to me telling you these things?"

Oh. This was...

Hubert was frozen in place. Did he notice how wide his eyes had gotten, or how quickly his face had reddened as the blush spread across it, and even reached his ears? Not one bit. He could only try his hardest to find a way to speak, to find something to say, only to fail. This was a bit sudden and out of the blue, was it not? But of course Felix knew that. He may be pretty dense these days, and not able to read people well, but he was the exact opposite of dumb. He knew what he was doing right here, and judging by the way the determined narrowing turned to a squint from how wide he was grinning again, he must've succeeded in what he wanted to do. But, for the first time, Hubert didn't catch it. He was too busy focusing on how much he enjoyed seeing such a sight.

But suddenly, that sight was gone as Felix went back under the blankets. Hubert stared on, not moving from his spot.

"You comin' in? Ya passed, c'mon in here with me."

Hubert only nodded, and kicked off his shoes by the door before making his way closer. A hand suddenly shot out, grabbed Hubert's arm, and pulled him right in. He landed with a breathless "Oof!" right atop a still smiling Felix. Uh oh, now he could notice how red his face was, now that he couldn't avoid making Felix aware...

Felix only grinned up at him, and let out a laugh as he fixed a stray strand of Hubert's hair that had been messily tucked behind an ear, and didn't say a word. These two took their time to just look into each other's eyes, at the details of each other's expressions. And Hubert could feel the warmth filling him up to the brim. This fuzzy and pleasant warmth that had him craving more and more. This person, this beautiful soul that looked up at him with a near glittering brightness in his eyes from his raw and uncontained joy he had when in Hubert's presence like this, made Hubert feel happy and fulfilled for the first time in his life.

Hubert sees Felix, and all of his vices and virtues...and sees someone he loves with all of his heart.

#Fire Emblem AU #FE Modern/Reincarnation AU #Fire Emblem Three Houses #FE16 #Hubert von Vestra #FE3H Hubert #Felix Hugo Fraldarius #FE3H Felix #Felibert #Hubert X Felix #fire emblem fanfiction #fanfiction

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perspective-series · 6 years ago

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A Third Perspective (12)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Fear, and unwanted grabbing/touching

(Check the reblog for the links to the previous chapters!)

Roman raced home, taking the stairs up to his apartment two at a time as his bag swung to the side. Biology seemed to last longer than ever before today, as Roman’s mind had been preoccupied for the entire two hours with a certain tiny friend. Finally Roman reached his own door, swinging it wide open as he waltzed inside.

Despite knowing there was a borrower in his bag, the human was not being careful at all. Virgil found himself sliding back and forth in the bag, becoming disoriented and even hitting the wall with his sore arm. Which sent a sharp pang up it. He groaned as the bag finally calmed down, allowing him to sit in the middle and calm himself.

He was suddenly much more worried for Patton’s state if this was how the human had been treating him.

Roman plopped down on the couch, setting the bag down on the cushion next to him. He turned to it, viewing it like a child coming down the stairs on Christmas. Not wanting to wait any longer, Roman reached his hand in and grabbed the borrower inside, pulling them up into the light.

Virgil expected it, as soon as the bag had stopped moving and he felt it being set down, but he really wasn’t prepared for it. He tried to scoot away, but the hand grabbed him no problem. He struggled within the grip as he was taken out of the bag and suddenly face to face with another human.

“Ah!” Roman let out a startled shriek at the unexpected tiny person. In his surprise, Roman’s grip loosened and the borrower fell back into the bag.

Virgil yelled as he fell back into the bag, groaning as he landed on his arm. “What the heck?!” He yelled up before realizing what he did.

Roman winced, peering into the bag to get a second look at the stranger. “My sincerest apologies. I just…. I wasn’t expecting you.” Roman gazed around the rest of the bag. “Wait just a moment, where is Patton?”

Virgil hadn’t expected an apology. That was...weird, coming from a human. At the question, he shrugged. He knew Pat was probably with Logan...but what would this human do with that information?

“And who are you?” Roman squinted suspiciously, not sure if the borrower was holding back information. Roman found himself now bursting with questions, pulling the borrower back out in a loose fist.

“Ah, hey!” Virgil yelled at being picked up again, before closing his mouth tight. What was with him and suddenly yelling at a human. Did he have a death wish? Either way, he found himself struggling within the grip.

“What’s your name?” Roman turned the tiny person this way and that, inspecting him from all angles. “Where’d you come from? Why were you in my bag?”

Virgil bit his tongue and didn’t even look at the human as he continued to struggle in the grip. If this was Logan, he’d be inclined to answer because he knew what Logan would do if he didn’t. But maybe...he could get away with not speaking?

Probably not, but he was going to go as long as he could.

“...Why are you so quiet?” Roman frowned, already missing Patton’s bubbly demeanor. What had happened to that little guy, anyhow? Roman felt a large mix of anxiety and fear brewing inside of him as he began to think where the borrower might be. After all, Roman was the one who had told Patton nothing was going to happen. If Patton was in trouble, it was Roman’s fault.

Virgil simply glared at him, giving the human a look as if to say ‘why do you think?’ His struggles continued, but he could already feel himself getting tired.

“Oh, that’s right.” Roman thought back to when he and Patton had first met. It felt as though it was only yesterday. Mostly because, well, it was. “You’re afraid, aren’t you?” Roman looked down at the borrower with a brief look of pity.

Virgil stopped at that, to send the human another glare. “Well duh!” He couldn’t help but say. His heart beat hard and fast inside his chest. Yes, of course, he was scared. Who wouldn’t be when faced with a literal giant who has you in their grasp!

“It’s okay!” Roman chuckled slightly at the response he got, glad they seemed to be getting somewhere. “You don’t need to be afraid of me, lil’ guy! I’m not going to hurt you, I swear it.”

“You already have!” This was what Virgil hated, the human’s saying one thing but doing another.

“Wait, what?” Roman’s eyes widened, quickly moving his hands about so that the borrower sat in his cupped palms. “I’m so sorry, I truly didn’t think it was so far of a fall…”

While Virgil was glad the fingers were no longer constricting him, being in the hand was still less than ideal. “Not just that, but your carelessness walking up the stairs and just letting the bag I was in swing whichever way it wanted! Honestly, I’m worried about the state you left Patton in!” Virgil glared at the human for a moment, before realizing what he had said, about Patton. His hand flew to his mouth. Crap.

Now the human would know that he did, in fact, know about Patton.

“Now hold on just a moment!” Roman transferred the borrower so that he was only cupped in one hand, using the other to point an accusing finger. “Granted, I may have been a bit careless then, but I am doing my best. I never laid a finger on Patton! I would never dream of it. Patton is my friend, all I want to do is protect him and keep him from getting hurt. And if you have any information about his whereabouts you’d better spit it out so we can find him before he gets himself into trouble.”

If Patton was where Virgil thought he was, then he was already in some serious trouble. At the very least he was sure that Logan wouldn’t be revealing their kind. But that didn’t mean Logan was going to stop with his ‘research’ either. A sudden picture of Patton being held in a beaker broke his heart and made him worry about Patton even more.

But this human didn’t seem much better, honestly, no human would be better. So despite his worry for Patton and his fear towards this human, he glared. “And what if I don’t?”

“Well, I, ah…” Roman found himself momentarily at a loss for words, his finger dropping back down to his side. He hadn’t actually thought that far.

“I suppose I’d just find him alone then, eventually.” Roman shrugged. “But I would certainly think very poorly of you. Especially if you truly think of yourself as a friend of Patton’s. How could you live with yourself knowing that Patton suffered longer simply because you didn’t trust someone who was trying to help?”

Virgil froze, gritting his teeth. “Don’t.” Virgil stood up and glared at the human. “Patton is my best friend. And the only reason I’m not telling you where I think he is, is because I’m protecting him.”

Virgil wanted to get Patton away from Logan. He really did. But he didn’t want to trade Logan for this human either. Despite how intimidating Logan is and all his research, Virgil was never hurt. So while Patton might be scared and stuck in a beaker at least he would physically be fine.

But with this human? Well, he had only been with him for a few minutes and he had already been hurt. This human was careless and could very well be lying to him. So if he had to, he would find a way to get Patton away from Logan himself.

“Protecting him from what?” Roman scoffed. Honestly, this borrower was so judgy.

“From you!” Virgil exclaimed, almost as if the answer had been obvious. Which, to Virgil, it was. He didn’t let up on his glare.

“I am not the enemy here!” Roman emphasized his point by bringing his free palm to his chest.

Virgil scoffed. “You keep telling yourself that.” The borrower crossed his arms and looked away, even though the action sent a spike of panic in him.

“I will, Mr. doubtful dormouse.” Roman huffed. He was determined to prove he was worthy of all borrower’s trust, even this stubborn one who still had refused to share his name.

Virgil highly doubted that. “Can you put me down?” Virgil decided it was at least worth it to try to get the human to put him down.

“...Oh, right.” Roman realized that he had been holding the little guy for a while. So, he set his palm down on the coffee table.

Virgil was actually kind of surprised that the human had listened. He slid off the hand and onto the coffee table, looking up at the human before looking away. His arms were back to being crossed. He looked at the apartment around him, already trying to come up with a plan of escape.

Roman slid off the couch, coming to rest on the floor in order to be more eye level with the table. He crossed his arms, placing them on the edge before resting his chin atop.

Virgil looked back towards the human at the movement. Watching him warily. As the human settled and looked at him, Virgil couldn’t help but ask, “What?”

“Now will you tell me about Patton?” Roman said, daring to be hopeful with a small smile.

“No.”

Roman deflated slightly, but he didn’t give up. “Come on, what’s it going to take for you to trust me?”

“Leave and never come back.” Virgil deadpanned.

“Stop being so dramatic.” Roman pouted. He tried to think back to the things he knew Patton enjoyed. “We could watch a movie. Are you a Disney fan, too?”

“Disney?” Of course, he knew what movies were, but Disney was another thing. He had never heard of the word before. Was it...a type of movie?

“Oh, you poor soul.” Roman reached across the table, grabbing the remote and turning the tv on. Netflix was still open from earlier that morning when he and Patton watched Aladdin. “That’s Disney,” Roman said, pointing to the screen.

“Huh.” Virgil had to admit he was kind of intrigued. Not that he would let the human know that. “Looks boring.”

Roman made a noise of offense. “Blasphemy!” He declared, already clicking play. “Disney is a series of beautiful masterpieces, this being one of them. Prepare to be enthralled, oh ye of little faith.”

“Oh joy.” Virgil looked back at the TV as the human clicked play. Virgil, while actually interested in the movie, didn’t feel like watching it.

He was then struck with a sudden realization though. If the human was distracted by the TV, he just might be able to escape! This was perfect! So, Virgil pretended to watch the movie but kept an eye on the human.

Roman, meanwhile, was keeping an eye on the borrower. He had already watched Aladdin earlier in the day and was more focused on gauging his new friend’s reaction. Unfortunately, the little guy seemed to spend more time turning back to face him than actually watching the screen. Then he would quickly turn back, as if hoping Roman wouldn’t take notice. Roman frowned, wondering what was up. Was the borrower still just frightened? He did seem a lot jumpier than Patton. Although thinking back, Patton was pretty jumpy too.

Virgil was getting frustrated because the human was paying more attention to him than the actual movie. Virgil mentally groaned. How was he supposed to escape now?

“Are you enjoying it?” Roman asked hopefully, wondering if this was just how all borrowers watched movies.

Virgil had no clue what was even going on in the movie, spending all his focus on the human. “No.”

Honestly, he wasn’t sure why he was seemingly trying to annoy the human, what with him being a human and all, but Virgil had to admit it was kind of fun. But he couldn’t ignore how dangerous it was either.

Roman let out an irritated exhale so strong he could see it ruffle the borrower’s hair.

“Well, you could have just said so!” Roman was disappointed that he had both not enjoyed the film and hadn’t felt brave enough to speak up about it.

“Could I have?” Because Virgil had a feeling Roman would have tried to make him watch it regardless.

“Of course!” Roman reached over to the remote again, clicking back to the menu. “There are plenty of other Disney films we can watch.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes. “And what if I said I didn’t want to watch anything.”

“That’s fine.” Roman insisted, shutting off the screen. “I was just suggesting something for us to do, and I knew that at least Patton enjoyed this so I thought you’d be the same. Nevertheless, it is clear you are two very, very different individuals.” Roman pasted his signature smile back on, determined to stay upbeat. “So! What do you want to do then?”

Virgil thought about answering, but he decided to stay silent. Even though it didn’t go well for him with Logan.

Roman glared down at the borrower. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool despite the fact that this emo nightmare seemed determined to test his patience.

110 notes · View notes

theteenagetrickster · 5 years ago

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75 Best Hip-Hop and R&B Albums of 2019, Ranked

For the final time of 2019, we’ll see you in the comments.

Before you begin scrolling through our list of the 75 best hip-hop and R&B albums of 2019, likely without reading any of the words we affixed to many of them, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page.

The eligibility period for this list is December 24, 2018, through December 9, 2019.

If an artist and/or their record label labeled a project as an “EP,” it was disqualified. We are publishing that list on Friday.

Our entire editorial team determined the selections (and the order of the albums listed). Please don’t send Donna your nasty emails.

No, we’re not on the payroll of “Insert Popular Artist Here.” But, we’d love an investment. Have them email Z.

This list is our list—not yours. We don’t expect, nor do we want, you to agree with every album selection or our ordering; we do want you to discover a few great albums you probably missed throughout the past 12 months and press play.

Great, let’s begin. Happy Holidays.

75. Radamiz — Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

“Lately been accepting my mortality, nobody ever told you that your parents goin’ to get older, too,” Radamiz raps on “Shadowboxing,” the intro to his perfectly-titled sophomore album, Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes. It’s one of many lines that will jump out upon every revisit. Radamiz is a rapper who breathes universal truths, who candidly speaks of being a passion-driven and dreaming-chasing millennial fighting against the odds and the clock. Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes is East Coast hip-hop from a student of the game, who gives an honest portrait of his life with fiery rhymes, and head-nodding production that solidifies Radamiz as one of the best new rappers coming from New York. —Yoh

74. Wale — Wow… That’s Crazy

73. Lil Peep — Everybody's Everything

72. MIKE — Tears of Joy

71. Deem Spencer — Pretty face

70. Yung Baby Tate — GIRLS

Do not forget Yung Baby Tate. On the list of newcomers who released projects in 2019 that put on display their world-conquering star power, Yung Baby Tate shines. GIRLS, Tate’s independent debut, is vividly painted with shades of luscious vocals, radio-ready songwriting, and bright-colored, post-Nicki Minaj lyricism. You’ll remember Tate as the charming, Atlanta-born songstress who rapped, sung, wrote, and self-produced all 15 tracks. Tate is every woman, but also every artist, a living compilation of styles and genres. While GIRLS may be her first full-length offering, the album successfully represents her wide-ranging talents, and why Yung Baby Tate is on the road to a takeover. —Yoh

69. Baby Keem — DFMB

68. Medhane — Own Pace

67. YG — 4REAL 4REAL

66. Kaina — Next to the Sun

65. 03 Greedo & Kenny Beats — Netflix & Deal

Ever wonder what a Netflix binging session with your favorite rapper and producer would be like? 03 Greedo and Kenny Beats’ collaborative debut is the closest you’ll get this year. There’s no underlying concept about cinema’s relationship to rap or trying to create a #cinematic experience; Greedo raps about movies he used to watch in his trap house over a sampling of Kenny’s eclectic beats. Netflix & Deal is as brisk and exciting as any John Wick movie. You know bodies will be caught, but the thrill comes from seeing how they will top themselves this time. Movie magic. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

64. Big K.R.I.T. — K.R.I.T. Iz Here

63. Roddy Ricch — Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial

62. Dreamville — Revenge of The Dreamers III

61. Wiki — OOFIE

60. Malibu Ken — Malibu Ken

Aesop Rock deserves to have a little fun. Teaming up with producer TOBACCO for , he puts his extensive vocabulary to use, describing plants dying from neglect on tour and the inner workings of Bob Ross paintings. TOBACCO’s woozy pre-tech synths whir and click at the speed of rap, matching Rock’s saturated yellows with nauseating greens. Malibu Ken is colorful, silly, and more than just a little morbid, a perfect slice of Magic Eye playtime handspun by two of alt-rap’s most endearing weirdos. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

59. Summer Walker — Over It

58. Jack Harlow — Confetti

57. Jhay Cortez — Famouz

56. Young Dolph & Key Glock — Dum and Dummer

55. Grip — Snubnose

Snubnose, the sophomore project by Atlanta rapper Grip, is a sneaky album. The kind of independent release that sounds major from a newcomer who could be confused as a young veteran. Where there should be kinks, Snubnose appears polished; where most artists fall into a mimicry of trends, Grip leans into original storytelling. He makes 13-tracks about gun violence feel like you’re watching a violent Quentin Tarantino film, with far-less n-words. Meticulous in form, riveting in execution, Snubnose is one rap album that you won’t forget. One of the best surprises of 2019. —Yoh

54. Roc Marciano — Marcielago

53. Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne — Sli'merre

52. SiR — Chasing Summer

51. Kano — Hoodies All Summer

50. YBN Cordae — The Lost Boy

YBN Cordae remembers what albums sounded like during the blog era. When Kendrick Lamar made Section.80; when J. Cole made Friday Night Lights; when Chance the Rapper made Acid Rap. Cordae channels that timeframe into , his debut album on Atlantic Records. The North Carolina-born, Maryland-raised rapper weaves through a coming-of-age story with thoughtful self-reflection, pointed storytelling, and soulful nostalgia. It’s a charming, major-label effort by a developing and youthful rapper with an open, old soul. Cordae still lacks a defining identity, but at the very least, The Lost Boy proves he knows how to tell a compelling story. —Yoh

49. Flying Lotus — Flamagra

48. Injury Reserve — Injury Reserve

47. Kevin Abstract — Arizona Baby

46. SAINt JHN — Ghetto Lenny’s Love Songs

45. Griselda — WWCD

Griselda’s debut album, WWCD, does not feel like a traditional debut. The record is wider in scope and sharper in presentation. Between the ferocity of Benny The Butcher, the ear of Westside Gunn, and the mighty snarl of Conway The Machine, Griselda are Buffalo, NY’s unstoppable force. As a group, Griselda have little to prove. Alone and together, the trio have gotten cosigns from some of hip-hop’s greatest writers: Black Thought, Pusha-T, and Raekwon. Respect given is respect earned and studied, in the case of Griselda. Bar for bar, WWCD is the essence of New York street rap for the modern era.—Donna-Claire Chesman

44. Maxo Kream — Brandon Banks

43. Kemba — Gilda

42. Mereba — The Jungle Is The Only Way Out

41. Baby Rose — To Myself

40. Lucky Daye — Painted

Given this was his debut record, Lucky Daye could've played it safe. As anyone who's heard "Roll Some Mo"—Painted's lead single and Lucky's breakout hit—knows, there's a wrenching tenderness to his voice that fits like a glove atop stripped-back production. The risk he took to pepper his album with funkier pop cuts, then, is not one every artist would have taken. Fortunately, Lucky rises to the challenge, proving himself a dynamic enough artist to erase this risk altogether. Plus, when he breaks out those vocals, they're all the more affecting because they've been used sparingly.—Hershal Pandya

39. KOTA The Friend — FOTO

No album warrants a tracklist of 19 songs. Yet, in crafting a worthy spiritual successor to the Rawkus Records era of music that many fondly romanticize, KOTA The Friend comes as close as humanly possible to justifying this run-time on FOTO. The album personifies the term “easy-listening,” maintaining a consistent mood throughout between KOTA’s strikingly unaffected delivery and the delicate, jazzy production on which he raps. No slouch on the mic, KOTA possesses a rare gift for situating bravado alongside vulnerability. He conjures favorable similarities to Phonte at his best, but not so much that FOTO ever suffers for these comparisons. —Hershal Pandya

38. Future — Future Hndrxx Presents: The WIZRD

Women, wealth, and worries are the three Ws found pulsing through the veins of Future’s seventh studio album, . Lyrically, there’s nothing new under WZRD’s promethazine sun, but the magic is in his ability to resurrect old muses as revamped concepts. Future hasn’t radically changed over the years, but here the presentation is altered. WZRD is another installment of melodic confessing, hypnotic anthems, and oil-black trap production that carries the infectious torch passed down from its predecessors. Still, it stands alone as a fresh glimpse into Future’s rockstar world. —Yoh

37. Quelle Chris — Guns

Quelle Chris is self-aware enough to know that everything in this life—emotions, money, ourselves—is weaponized. His sixth studio album Guns isn’t about physical violence as much as it’s a deconstruction of the actions we take in a world slowly devouring itself. Quelle travels the roads of Trump’s America with a twisted sense of humor and animated beats as his only sidearms, jumping between characters, ideas, and planes of existence as only he can. Guns is a polemic on reality itself, a reminder that no weapon formed against a sharp mind shall prosper. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

36. Toro y Moi — Outer Peace

What good is inner peace when the outer world is falling apart? Toro y Moi’s Outer Peace combines a sleek disco sheen with contemporary rap cadences to bring pep to an increasingly passive-aggressive world. The housing market has crashed (“New House”), and sex barely sells like it used to (“Ordinary Pleasure”), but at least James Murphy is spinning records at his house tonight (“Laws of The Universe”). That cynical sense of humor alone will keep your toe tapping throughout Outer Peace, that is,if the gorgeous grooves and crushing low-end don’t. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

35. James Blake — Assume Form

The most accessible of his projects to date, is a triumphant release that marks the evolution of James Blake’s artistry, as he matures past the reductive “sad boy” label he’s famously lamented. An unapologetically romantic album, Blake sheds the claustrophobic production of his previous output in favor of shimmering compositions, genuine hooks, and winning collaborations with the likes of André 3000 and Rosalia. Retaining his lyrical flair, Blake punctuates the album with quintessential lines, like “let's go home and talk shit about everyone,” that reminds you of the artist who first grabbed your attention years ago. —Hershal Pandya

34. Bad Bunny — X 100PRE

I’m in love with the way Bad Bunny says his name. I’m a sucker for a good self-reference, but I’m even more of a sucker for the way Bad Bunny bets on his longevity. With that, X 100PRE, Bunny’s debut album, is about being everlasting in a microwaved music industry. The record covers all adjacent hip-hop genres—which, at this point, means all genres—from pop-punk to trap, to lighter fare, and ballads with fine attention to getting our hips moving. You hear Bad Bunny, and you dance; you sing your heart out; you weep, and you celebrate. In one record, Bad Bunny captured every mode of human living. —Donna-Claire Chesman

33. Kyle Dion — SUGA

There are no words to explain Kyle Dion’s amazing, stunning, arresting, becoming, disarming, endearing, charming, affirming, enchanting, beguiling, mollifying, soothing, blaring, encouraging, surprising, yearning, pining, astounding, breathtaking, stupefying, thrilling, outstanding, exciting, exhilarating, electrifying, intoxicating, moving vocal tone on SUGA. Just press play. —Donna-Claire Chesman

32. Kehlani — While We Wait

While We Wait isn’t the full entrée, it’s just the appetizer. While waiting on the full-length follow-up to 2017’s SweetSexySavage, Kehlani treated fans to a taste of where she’s heading next. Kehlani bares her soul as staunchly as she always has to provide an unfiltered look into her state of mind. On While We Wait, she’s equal parts vulnerable and commanding, struggling to move on from a complicated relationship on “Too Deep” before confidently telling off an old lover on “Nunya.” With a diverse complement of beats, storylines, and moods, there’s plenty to enjoy on this small project. —Kenan Draughorne

31. 2 Chainz — Rap or Go to the League

Twenty-three years after the late, great Notorious B.I.G. rapped, “Either you’re slinging crack rock, or you got a wicked jump shot,” Atlanta hip-hop veteran 2 Chainz stands as an example of a man who had the jump shot and sold the drugs but ultimately chose rap as his escape route from poverty. His fifth studio album, Rap or Go to the League, is an opulent celebration inspired by the city that raised him and the odds he’s overcome. Rap or go to the League is a grown man still progressing as an artist, finding his most introspective voice. —Yoh

30. slowthai — Nothing Great About Britain

An agile storyteller, Northampton’s slowthai expertly mixes elements of UK grime and drill while unpacking the micro and macro of his British upbringing. Carrying no pretensions and seamlessly style-shifting across genres with his frenetic cadence, the singular rapper makes you move and listen simultaneously. In a year that has seen British rap dominate—from DAVE and Little Simz to Skepta and Octavian—slowthai’s versatility and poignant messaging set him apart. He’s funny while commanding attention, hilariously painting stark portraits of British classism, racism, and abuse in an ultimately gripping and focused fashion. —Zach Miller

29. Maxo — LIL BIG MAN

Maxo makes growing up sound incisive and blaring. This album takes place in the crevices of the torment of maturing. is a dusty reclamation of voice, relying on traditional boom bap structures and methodical writing to deliver a solemnly eviscerating experience. The wisdom baked into LIL BIG MAN will at once inspire, surprise, and soothe you. Maxo is Def Jam’s best-kept secret, but not for much longer. —Donna-Claire Chesman

28. Lizzo — Cuz I Love You

Equal parts bold, sexy, and witty, is a commanding listen that features Lizzo at her best. Harnessing her confident mic presence and ear for massive hooks, Lizzo creates a genuinely urgent body of work. A showcase for her eclectic sensibilities, the album jumps effortlessly between the eponymous opener, which recalls the work of The Alabama Shakes, to the infectious pop stylings of “Juice,” without missing a beat. It’s a shame Lizzo infamously fixated on one mixed review because overwhelmingly, the universal response to Cuz I Love You was justifiably glowing. —Hershal Pandya

27. Anderson .Paak — Ventura

A throwback to the beloved soul music of the ’70s, is a return to form for Anderson .Paak after the mixed bag that was . The key takeaway here is Anderson .Paak is fine when he raps, but he is special when he sings. Whether via the glorious, Smokey Robinson-assisted cut, “Make It Better,” or the disarmingly danceable, “Twilight,” Ventura is a breathing testament to this takeaway. The album offers lush canvasses to showcase the stunningly silky tone of .Paak’s voice. Add to this a transcendent André 3000 guest verse, and the case for Ventura becomes undeniable. —Hershal Pandya

26. GoldLink — Diaspora

Subtlety isn’t a characteristic that listeners often encounter on a major label album; the machine believes in a straight line product that doesn’t require further explanation. That’s not GoldLink. The Maryland native is a master of music woven to unveil slowly. With , his RCA “debut,” Link has created his most subtle, yet replayable work of art. Thanks to production warm as spring, Diaspora is a splash of Utopian sunshine, yet in the shadows of his lyrics, the 26-year-old is adding his mysterious life to the lexicon of Black music. It’s the mystery that endures, not the explanation, and GoldLink shapes Diaspora to be an album that lasts. —Yoh

25. Solange — When I Get Home

Solange’s take on Houston hip-hop belongs in a museum. She treats her hometown’s “chopped and screwed” traditions with elevated care throughout When I Get Home, placing it on a golden pedestal to be admired and revered. Dispersing interludes at every turn in the form of fragmented conversations and poems, she creates a linear journey that eternally builds upon itself. When “Almeda” parades into the spotlight with strutting kicks and whooping vocals, it’s impossible not to stand and salute Solange. —Kenan Draughorne

24. Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats — Anger Management

Kenny! Rico! Together! A match perfectly made, is a brisk concept album that captures all the stages of a temper tantrum and boasts some of Rico’s best work (“Big Titties”), and highlights the duo’s impeccable chemistry. Rico made this album from the heat of anger and the thrill of the up-and-down. She imparts boundless energy unto every cut. Kenny’s production is from another plane where music is warped and only made on acid. Their collective thump and vigor make Anger Management the pump-up album of every summer. —Donna-Claire Chesman

23. billy woods — Terror Management

You can’t eat books. You can’t rest easy at night. You can’t trust those closest to you. These are the lessons of billy woods’ second album of 2019, Terror Management. A show of strength from woods, who is writing through the apocalypse, Terror Management feels like being led down a series of jagged alleyways by a dishonest narrator. A narrator who is mistrustful in their own right. The album is knotty and internal. The album is wounded and beside itself. At times, Terror Management serenades fear. Sometimes, it merely quakes in place. Sometimes, woods cracks a joke. Most importantly, Terror Management is fucking good, man. Fucking. Good. —Donna-Claire Chesman

22. Ari Lennox — Shea Butter Baby

Ari Lennox blessed my new apartment during our interview; her soul is kind, and her music is knowing. Her musings on the failures of modern dating sound scrumptious with her silky vocal texture. The beauty of Shea Butter Baby is in the way Ari captures minutiae and makes it sound regal. She does not pull from the abstract, and it’s the rootedness of her art, the humble quality of the content, that makes the album such a triumph. Ari’s professing that this record is for Black women, too, is triumphant. The beauty and love of community permeate the work. —Donna-Claire Chesman

21. Polo G — Die A Legend

Polo G isn’t waiting to receive his flowers. At just 20 years old, the Chicago rapper’s debut album, Die A Legend,reads like a breathless statement of purpose. Life has taken too much from the rapper, born Taurus Bartlett, for him to quit now. Across the album’s 14 tracks, scars created by loved ones lost (“Deep Wounds”) and a corrupt police system (“BST”) compel his meticulous croons. Even a banger like “Pop Out” mixes the spoils of victory and pained reflection with dizzying ease. Die A Legend maintains this balance throughout, finding energy in the melancholic. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

20. Snoh Aalegra — -ugh, those feels again

Often, you'll listen to a modern R&B record, and sandwiched between trap concessions and crossover attempts, will be a bare and emotive track that'll make you wonder, “why isn’t this the album?” On , Snoh Aalegra took this approach and ran with it, constructing an album composed entirely of these deep-cuts. The effect is 14 organic songs, across which Aalegra shows remarkable restraint. Though her vocals are as lush as the production, she's careful never to over-sing or push for the emotion. As she acknowledges via the album's title, the "feels" are more of an inevitability than anything else. —Hershal Pandya

19. DaBaby — Baby On Baby

DaBaby’s Baby On Baby is 32 minutes of exhilarating trap sermons. He builds the church of Baby On Baby upon confidence pure as cocaine, a charisma so contagious it could charm the Halliwell sisters. The lively, dynamic production perfectly fits his distinctive, Southern rap voice. There are few holes to be found in DaBaby’s artistic armor; it’s refreshing to hear a new artist sound so developed. Baby On Baby is one of the most replayable albums of the year, and at this rate, we will remember 2019 as the year that DaBaby broke out and began his hip-hop takeover. —Yoh

18. Burna Boy — African Giant

With African Giant, international Nigerian superstar Burna Boy created more than a masterpiece. He created a social statement and global experience. Burna paints a spiritual picture, one that is uniquely his own, yet still feels like it belongs to all of us. African Giant is undeniably Naija, dipped in history and Yoruba dialect, leaping over language and cultural barriers. Burna’s lyrics are poignant, coasting over production charged with Afrofusion anthems, dancehall riddims, and hymns. The 19-track album is not just a vibe; it’s a victory. —Ronnia Cherry

17. Boogie — Everythings For Sale

On , Boogie accomplishes the rare feat of making an intensely personal album that is simultaneously self-aware and suitably mature enough to avoid veering into the trap of solipsism. A distinctly West Coast album that borrows influences from the Midwest, Boogie brings the specificity of his lyricism to life with pretty production, alliteration-heavy flows, and an effortless knack for melody. All of these come together to create a surprisingly pleasant listening experience, despite the album’s undeniably dense subject matter. —Hershal Pandya

16. Little Brother — May The Lord Watch

That North Carolina duo Little Brother’s exists is a blessing. It was unclear if we’d ever see Little Brother—currently comprised of rappers Phonte and Rapper Big Pooh—on a record together again, but they pulled it off. On their fifth album, they sound like they’re happy to be together again. Phonte and Pooh appear rejuvenated, modernizing The Minstrel Show’saestheticwhile still dropping jewels that rap fans of any age will find relatable. The beats shimmer, and the rhymes are funny and poignant. Let’s be thankful that UBN’s hiatus was only temporary. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

15. EarthGang — Mirrorland

EarthGang’s Dreamville debut, , doesn’t stop moving. The motion of each song is exuberant and dynamic, a result of multi-flavored carnival production paired with WowGr8 and Olu’s animated storytelling. How the creative West Atlanta duo stretch and morph their voices to match a variety of styles and sounds make for an exhilarating debut album. It’s a Crayola box wrapped in dynamite. Mirrorland explodes from start to finish. —Yoh

14. Rapsody — Eve

Rapsody’s life music has evolved. Where 2017’s saw Rap focusing inward and weaving a gorgeous tapestry of the Black woman’s experience, features Rap looking outward in all directions. With her most enlivened performances to date, Rapsody honors the Black women who came before her, all to the point of creating opportunities for the Black women who will come after her to take up space. As an album, Eve is lively and emboldened. As a mission statement, Eve is admirable. Rapsody’s deep love of history and Blackness make this the most excitable album in her deep catalog. —Donna-Claire Chesman

13. Beyoncé — HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM

I remember falling in love when I first saw the HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM during a live screening of Coachella. Beyoncé has always been a great performer, but this album is more than just a performance. HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM pays homage to the Black artists that came before Beyoncé, it acknowledges how her Blackness has shaped her, and how she has shaped her Blackness. When she decided to share this moment of brilliance with the world, there was one word that came to mind: thankful. HOMECOMING is a replica of Beyoncé’s Coachella performance. It doesn’t just take us back to the moment; it fully placed us in it, as if we were there with her witnessing her at her peak. —Simi Moonlight

12. Danny Brown — uknowhatimsayin¿

Even at its darkest, Danny Brown’s music is bunches of fun. He gets immense joy from rhyming words together over the weirdest beats he can find. His traditionalist methods and gonzo music preferences meet halfway like never before on his fifth studio album The conceptual bombast of previous projects is thrown out the studio windows for thoughtful raps over zany beats. Executive produced by Q-Tip, the project is loose and punchy, chock full of vignettes as suitable for an open-mic standup set as they are for a rap album. At 38 years old, Danny has little left to prove. uknowhatimsayin¿ makes every word count. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

11. Megan Thee Stallion — Fever

The rise of Megan Thee Stallion is a blessing to witness. With her formal 300 Entertainment debut, the “1501 Queen” establishes herself as one of the most charismatic forthright rappers working. Her energy is explosive. Her writing is bombastic. Her deliveries are bursting with conviction and swagger. Megan Thee Mack is unchained and unstoppable on , a celebration of her Houston roots and flair for spending another man’s coin. Megan is a dominant force in hip-hop, and considering the sheer strength of Fever, she does not seem to be slowing down. —Donna-Claire Chesman

10. Young Thug — So Much Fun

is a safer work than some of Young Thug’s more elastic, head-spinning offerings. Across 18 songs, the long-awaited debut uses shoulder-shaking trap rhythms and ear-candy melodies to deliver his most accessible work since Rich Gang’s 2014 mixtape, Rich Gang: Tha Tour Pt. 1. It’s still Thug, though. He provides humor and hits, thrilling bravado, and infectious style, all while being the original nucleus that inspires many of his contemporaries today. So Much Fun is the commercial oeuvre for an artist who was always a star but never shined in the mainstream. —Yoh

9. FKA twigs — MAGDALENE

Heartbreak can be oddly beautiful. Rarely do people experience the depths of human emotion as fiercely as when they’re cocooned in its all-consuming agony. If this sounds at all like bad teenage poetry, trust me when I say FKA twigs mines this territory much more gracefully on her transcendent sophomore album, MAGDALENE. Listening to her sing tortured lyrics like, “Were you ever sure? No, no, no, not with me” in her painfully pretty falsetto, it’s hard not to luxuriate in her—and, by extension, your—palpable anguish. Musically, the album conveys the same message more viscerally. It envelops you in asphyxiating production, delivering pockets of euphoric catharsis in the form of cinematic instrumental flourishes and twigs’ gorgeous, boundless vocals. —Hershal Pandya

8. MAVI — Let the Sun Talk

MAVI wants us to understand him on his terms. At just 20 years old, the Charlotte, North Carolina native is capable of bending words to his will, a Sorcerer Supreme in the making coming to grips with his Infinity Stone. On his debut album, , MAVI’s words exist on the borders of Black thought, spirituality, and raw honesty; they are puzzles revealing different configurations with every listen. If you know, you know, and if you don’t, MAVI’s technical skill and ear for beats are enough to pull in weary travelers. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

7. billy woods & Kenny Segal — Hiding Places

billy woods and Kenny Segal are not scared; they are not in hiding. Instead, they are affecting wordsmith and mad scientist banding together to traverse the depths of retread emotions. A record concerned with the past and what it means for an emotional space to become hollow, will challenge and reward you in the same turn. Kenny Segal’s production is quietly cacophonous and cloudy, while woods presents his most direct and open writing to date. The pair belongs together. —Donna-Claire Chesman

6. Denzel Curry — ZUU

Denzel Curry is proof you can always go home. His latest album, ZUU, is a testament to home as the ultimate battery charger. Curry sheds the conceptual bombast of his last album, TA13OO, in favor of a non-stop thrill ride through the streets of his native Carol City, Florida. The sun-drenched comforts and drawbacks of home, along with clanging production from longtime collaborators FnZ, help him paint some of the most vivid images of his career. These are top-down bangers baked in the 98-degree sun. With ZUU, Denzel Curry found freedom in his backyard. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

5. Little Simz — GREY Area

Little Simz wants you to stop fucking with her heart. She says as much two tracks into , her boldly cathartic third studio album. At 25, Simz is approaching the threshold of adulthood with more questions than answers, armed with bars that cut to the bone. She’s been one of the UK’s best rappers for years, but her songs have never been so focused, the beats—cooked up by longtime producer Inflo—never so varied and explosive. GREY Area is her masterwork, a panoramic view of a future star fighting back a quarter-life crisis. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

4. Dave — Psychodrama

Plenty of reviews have regarded Dave’s as an album of a generation, a landmark of UK hip-hop, and we have to agree. Dave burrows into the depths of his psyche, and bravely reports his findings in an accessible and banging format. He makes the intimate aggressive and touching all at once. Psychodrama reveals Dave to be a master writer and rapper, an artist’s artist, and an artist to watch for years to come. —Donna-Claire Chesman

3. Freddie Gibbs & Madlib — Bandana

Good rap sequels are hard to come by. Thankfully, Freddie Gibbs and Madlib aren’t your average rapper-producer duo. Their debut album, 2014’s , recontextualized their respective sounds while cross-pollinating with each other’s audiences. This year’s is more holistic in form, its creators in sync for the first time. Their camaraderie strengthens Gibbs’ elastic flows (“Situations”) and storytelling (“Fake Names”) as much as it pushes Madlib to embellish his trademark samples with trap hi-hats (“Half Manne Half Cocaine”) and crisp kick drums (“Gat Damn”). Trust and freedom embolden this latest chapter in the MadGibbs Cinematic Universe. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

2. Jamila Woods — Legacy! Legacy!

Jamila Woods makes eternal music. Her runs, her inflections, and her writing are all meant to stand the test of time. On Legacy! Legacy!,Jamila performs a time-bending act, bringing her literary heroes back to life and keeping them squarely in our thoughts as she carries their poetics into her classic album. Legacy!’s success is rooted in a fullness of life and self-love. There is so much agony in the world, but there is still so much love to share. Jamila Woods is in the business of spreading love. Plus, the record also doubles as a great reading list. —Donna-Claire Chesman

1. Tyler, the Creator — IGOR

was a new dawn for Tyler, The Creator. A heartbroken and deluxe dawn. A funky and riveting one. IGOR covered the whole spectrum of heartache. From urgency and helplessness to naming, to pining, to grieving, to coming into yourself. Every step of nursing our lost souls was found on IGOR. The operative question of this epic album is: Who do we become when the rug is pulled out from under us, and our hearts break? The answer is multiple, and each thread of reply makes up the fabric of IGOR. We became angry. We become obsessive. We become deranged. We become desperate, at first for the past, and finally, for peace.

We’ve lived with IGOR for seven months. In those seven months, new meanings have continued to reveal themselves as the album gets uninterrupted play. I heard IGOR at a taco spot in Philly. I hear IGOR in my sleep. The ubiquity of its themes makes it an easy record to latch onto, sure. But the sparkle of its static, the grandiosity of its arrangement, and the needling melodies and vocal performances make IGOR a sonic marvel, too. Let’s also not forget this album is a queer triumph.

IGOR is the album of the year because it was the most ambitious and wrenching record of 2019. IGOR is an album you hold tight and play deep into the night and then play again when the sun comes up, and your eyes are crusted. It’s the album you remember during your last fight, and the album you play when you’ve achieved apathy in the face of pain. It’s the album for when you care too much, and for when you sincerely hope they’re happy. IGOR is as spectacular as the heartbreak itself.

In a world committed to making us all feel like tiny performers on tiny stages, dancing for imaginary currency, IGOR expands our universes. Suddenly, our every move feels precious, purposeful. Our feelings become valid; our hopes and dreams become imperative. Who we are is imperative. Tyler may be wearing a pressed suit and wig, but he is unmasked. Thanks to IGOR, we follow suit.—Donna-Claire Chesman

This content was originally published here.

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