#magic whump (pending)

[destiny-in-the-universe]

New Introduction [Searching for Moots]

Good timezone, my lovely dreamers!

It's been a long while since last I'd been active in tumblr, but I figured getting to meet new people would be worthwhile as I've made my comeback!

To start, I answer to many names but primarily- you can call me Clay or Danny. I hoard names like a possessive dragon (/lh), but that's also in part due to my kin-list and I carry their names around proudly. (And also the fact I'm a system)

I'm bodily an adult, 23 years old to be exact and counting! I use they/them pronouns, though neos are fair game at times (such as pup/pupself and ghost-themed pronouns).

Now, I am a multi-fandom blogger and enthusiast of neurodivergent content- especially as I connect to a lot of characters.

Fun Things About Me

✦ I'm bilingual, knowing both English and Spanish

✦ I'm a fanfic writer. Mostly specializing in AU's, angst themes, and recently- working on two crossover projects

✦ I have multiple disorders (auDHD, suspected BPD and DID, and diagnosed with MDD)

✦ Current Fixations are Teenage Superhero Cartoons

✦ I'm a roleplayer! (I can be a bit picky with who I roleplay with, and maybe further down the line- I can send out a request)

✦ Profound animal lover. I don't claim to be an expert-

✦ I kin hard.

Fandoms I Am a Part Of

[Key - ♡ (Active Fixations), ✩ (Dormant Fixations/Will Talk About Them if Asked), ➶ (Casual Interests)]

♡ Danny Phantom

♡ American Dragon: Jake Long

♡ Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja

♡ Kim Possible

♡ My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

✩ Gravity Falls

✩ Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus/Riordanverse

✩ Laika Films (Coraline, Paranorman)

✩ Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

✩ Doctor Who

✩ Anime (Mob Psycho 100, My Hero Academia, The Promised Neverland, Hetalia, Death Note, Disastrous Life of Saiki Kusuo, Fruits Basket, Black Butler, Wolf Children, Studio Ghibli)

➶ Warrior Cats

➶ Supernatural

➶ Merlin

➶ Sherlock

➶ K-Dramas

➶ The Owl House

➶ She-Ra: Princesses of Power

[Ask if there might be others I've missed!]

Current Projects

Independent Fanfics

✦ tell me atlas, what is heavier (the world or its people's hearts?): Danny Phantom - [Canon Divergent Timeline] -Angst/Whump Trope. The Guys in White manage to capture and detain Danny Phantom, alongside kidnapping securing Tucker, and what follows- well, it's only a matter of time before the truth spills out. - Work in Progress (Unpublished)

✦ DannyMay 2024 - Danny Phantom. A series of one-shots surrounding the fandom Danny Phantom. - Work in Progress (tag: dannymay2024, personal tag: PENDING)

✦ Bad Things Happen Bingo - Fandom One-Shots. A series of angst-filled prompts based on the Bad Things Happen Bingo card. - Work in Progress (tag: PENDING)

Crossover Fanfics

✦ Unlocked Doors AU (Mystery Kids AU) - Danny Phantom, Coraline, Paranorman, and Gravity Falls. Two years have passed since the fated summer trip to Gravity Falls, Oregon, and well- now Dipper and Mabel are returning for the new summer. When a group of untimely teens also end up spending their summer in the seemingly quaint town, nothing will ever be the same. - Work in Progress (Unpublished)

✦ [UNTITLED] (Secret Trio AU) - Danny Phantom, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja, and American Dragon: Jake Long. A sudden, unexpected turn of events leads to three teenaged superheroes meeting. It goes about as well as you could expect. - Work in Progress (Unpublished)

✦ [UNTITLED] (Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons) - Rise of the Guardians, Brave, Tangled, How to Train Your Dragon. A new threat has presented itself across the world, and somehow- it leads to a group of young adults coming to cross paths. - Work in Progress (Unpublished)

[A rules/guidelines of my blog will be posted separately!]

[blooming-bruises]

Echo wanted to touch it. He wanted to pull on that fine, platinum hair and see the eyes that were currently hidden below lashes and lids widen as they looked up at him. He wanted to see what flowers could bloom on that porcelain skin under his fingers.

Hello! Welcome to Blooming Bruises! I'm new to the whump community so I'm sure this post will change as I figure things out, but for now -- Hi!

I'll be trying to post bits of stories and prompt ideas among just the ,, everything else. The start of this post is from a fae whumper / human whumpee story i have with a friend that I'm sure there will be more shared.

---

My Universes

Written with @waxwings-burning

Daybreak, feat. Aiden and James, will be tagged with #daybreak

- unstoppable force meets immovable object, slow burn, CEO versus captured FBI agent mole

- contains: torture, noncon drugging, gaslighting, restraints, and some philosophy

Hawthorne, feat Echo and Asher, (tag pending)

- fae magics, promises, deals, and predator/prey

- contains: manipulation, stalking, illusion magic, betrayals

[angstingantlers]

Whump, angst, hurt/comfort, and dark fiction sideblog. General cw for blood, injury, threat, harm, and otherwise dark themes.

Note: This is not a sexual blog. I am generally not a fan of explicit NSFWhump and will rarely if ever post things that are intended to be read as sexual. Feel free to like/reblog for those reasons but please do not add overly sexual comments on my original posts unless they already contain explicit sexual content. For my comfort I will block blogs that I notice doing this.

DNI, blog info, & tags under the cut.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

About Me

My name is Hunter, he/him. I am a queer, neurodivergent, and mentally ill adult over the age of 25. I'm a digital artist and writer who tends to be drawn towards horror, tragedy, and content involving either my original characters or specific fandom characters I've latched onto. I am white and live in the UK, and have a BSc (Hons) in Criminological & Forensic Psychology.

My main special interests include the horror genre and the nature of fear and trauma in media, psychology (especially in relation to rehabilitation and prison reform), prehistory, and my original characters.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

DNI

I am very liberal with the block button. Consider this a heads up that if you follow/like/reblog from me and I notice you fit the following criteria, then I will block you (and report you, if appropriate).

--------------------

⦿ The usual suspects: radfem, nazi, support Palestinian genocide, other bigots, MAPs, zoophiles, radqueer, etc.

⦿ LGBTQ+ exclusionist (transmed, anti-MOGAI, against mspec lesbian/gay, against aspec/arospec/aplspec identities, etc.)

⦿ System exclusionist (anti-endogenic, sysmed, etc.), against informed self-diagnosis for disability/illness, or 'fakeclaims' others

⦿ Proship/anti-anti/etc., treats pedophilic/incestuous dynamics as cute/desirable, ships real people, or posts kink content featuring underage/incest/RPF

⦿ Blogs that encourage self-harm or heavily focus on IRL self-harm -- including EDs

⦿ Blogs with a heavy focus on discourse/drama regardless of your particular 'stance'

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tags

I try to tag specific media, characters, and actors wherever possible so they can be easily searched or blacklisted, using the following format:

⦿ #media: X, #character: Y, #actor: Z

Example: "#media: Doctor Who, #character: The Tenth Doctor, #actor: David Tennant".

Please feel free to correct me if I make a mistake when tagging media/character/actor names.

--------------------

I'll eventually have a tag to put all my original content under. For now you can find it by looking for:

⦿ #writing prompt, #whump prompt, #whump writing, #whump art

--------------------

I tag content that features or reminds me of OCs with the following:

⦿ #oc: can't a man just be fucking sad? [Finsterl Tyto]

⦿ #oc: a sad guitar [Deslie Tyto]

⦿ #oc: root of all evil [Hemlock]

⦿ #oc: eric needs a tag [Eric Elsonheir -- @victoryillustrations]

⦿ #oc: the bitter with the sweet [Rowen -- @victoryillustrations]

⦿ #au: supers in seattle

⦿ #au: -tag pending: zombies-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interests

The rest of this post serves as an extremely long breakdown of the things under this umbrella that I do and don't enjoy, followed by media that fulfills these interests or that I want to check out. For anything not mentioned here, you can assume I either don't feel strongly on it or don't know it exists.

--------------------

Character archetypes I like:

⦿ Resistant, defiant, & sassy

⦿ Arrogant & egotistical

⦿ Intensely manipulative

⦿ Completely broken/conditioned

⦿ Feral & animalistic

⦿ Non-human/anthropomorphic/magical

⦿ God-like figures

⦿ Villains & anti-heroes

⦿ Siblings

⦿ First responders (paramedics, firefighters, etc.)

⦿ Characters trying their best but still making mistakes/that aren't infallible

⦿ Specific OCs/fandom characters

--------------------

Hurt themes I like:

⦿ Interrogation

⦿ Hostage, ransom, kidnapping, etc.

⦿ Targeted, sustained abuse over time

⦿ Betrayal

⦿ Solo survival (lost alone, being hunted, trapped in rubble, etc.)

⦿ Surgery & surgical emergencies

⦿ Medical experimentation

⦿ Self-sacrifice/self-inflicted suffering

⦿ Near-death experiences

⦿ Being bloody/injured/beaten up & generally in pain

⦿ Being very vocal & reactive to pain

⦿ Enduring extended suffering & dissociating from extreme pain

⦿ Shivering & trembling

⦿ Exhaustion & being forced to give up/unable to keep going

⦿ Heart conditions

⦿ Fever, headaches, & migranes

⦿ Sleep deprivation & insomnia

⦿ Hallucinations, delusions, & paranoia

⦿ Emotional distress & breakdowns, especially in fear/panic

⦿ Suicidal ideation & casual risk-taking/recklessness as a result

⦿ Sadistic/impossible choices

⦿ Hypnosis, brainwashing, & mind-control

⦿ Conditioning, especially subtle/unnoticed

⦿ Slow breakdown of willpower/resilience

⦿ Sensory deprivation -- blinded, deafened, etc.

⦿ Loss of bodily control via possession, transformation, etc.

⦿ Threatening with weapons, particularly guns

⦿ Gunshot/stab wounds

⦿ Treating your own wounds (ineffectively)

⦿ Infected wounds

⦿ Restraints; chained up, bound in rope, collared, muzzled, etc.

⦿ Being trapped, purposefully or by accident

⦿ Manhandling & pinning

⦿ Grabbing by the face, throat, chin, & hair

⦿ Forced to kneel or take another respectful posture

⦿ Forced to accept comfort or other intimacy from their harmer

⦿ Backhanded affection or praise

⦿ Tragic ending/no escape/no recovery/etc.

--------------------

Recovery/comfort themes I like:

⦿ Slow, complicated trauma recovery & "messy" victims/survivors

⦿ Focus on restoring the recovering person's autonomy as much as possible; re-learning indepedence & self-care

⦿ Learning to live, not just survive

⦿ Anger/lashing out as a trauma response & learning to manage it

⦿ Unhealthy coping mechanisms -> healthy coping mechanisms

⦿ Exploring/coping with triggers & phobias caused by trauma

⦿ Realistic de-conditioning

⦿ Hidden trauma/injuries being discovered & treated

⦿ Aid with caring for injuries

⦿ Resistance to accepting help & learning to accept help

⦿ Having no choice but to accept help (severe injury, illness, etc.)

⦿ Caretakers as friends, teammates, found family, or siblings

--------------------

I'm sometimes interested in but can be sensitive to:

⦿ Death of significant characters

⦿ Characters dealing with grief

⦿ Impalement except in specific circumstances

⦿ Most natural disaster scenarios

⦿ Honestly most of the standard comfort-focused/caretaker content that's out there, it ranges from being uninteresting to making me feel uncomfortable 4/5 times

⦿ Caretakers as parental figures or romantic partners

⦿ Whumpers as parental figures

--------------------

I'm usually uninterested by/can tolerate:

⦿ BBU & other socially accepted pet/slave scenarios

⦿ Idealised/'perfect' caretakers

⦿ Focus on romantic or sexual relationships between characters in general

⦿ Generic character names (ie. just called 'Whumpee'), it just takes me out of it

--------------------

I may sometimes write the following myself, but almost always avoid or need to be in a specific mindset for:

⦿ "Bad boy/girl/dog/etc.", "You've been bad", etc. -- I hate that word and characters being called it

⦿ Explicit usage of medical needles/syringes

⦿ Alcohol/recreational drugs & substance use disorders

⦿ Trapped in fires & other fire-based scenarios/harm

⦿ Focus on graphic abuse or violence to children/younger teenagers (if it's offscreen or in backstory it's fine)

⦿ Parental abuse from father-figures

⦿ Infantilisation & treating bodily adults like children

⦿ Abuse for being autistic or having a similar condition/disability

⦿ Abuse related to enforcing gender identity standards, ie. demeaning a man for being feminine/woman for being masculine, misgendering a trans person, forcing someone to wear gendered clothing, etc.

⦿ Abuse related to a perceived lack of intelligence, ie. excessive use of insults like "stupid" or "dumb", being ridiculed or punished for not understanding something, etc.

⦿ Explicit sexual harrassment & sexual abuse

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Media

A list of content I've seen that scratches my itches well or that I want to look into. Always open for recommendations if you think there's something I'd like!

--------------------

Completed:

⦿ A very, very, very long list of generic horror movies

⦿ Apostle

⦿ Beaten To Death

⦿ Hannibal NBC

⦿ The Inheritance Cycle (Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, & Inheritance)

⦿ Jekyll & Hyde (Musical)

⦿ Lucifer

⦿ Mad Max: Fury Road

⦿ The Passenger

⦿ Ravenous (1999)

⦿ Watership Down

--------------------

Partially Completed:

⦿ 9-1-1 & 9-1-1 Lone Star (s2)

⦿ Casualty & Holby City (scattered arcs/episodes)

⦿ Game of Thrones (literally just Theon's scenes)

⦿ Grey's Anatomy & spin-offs (... s14? Or so?)

⦿ Grimm (unsure how much)

⦿ Once Upon A Time (scattered episodes)

⦿ Our Flag Means Death (s1)

⦿ The Vampire Diaries (s5 I believe?)

⦿ The Walking Dead & spin-offs (partway through s9 or 10)

--------------------

To Check Out:

⦿ The Blacklist

⦿ Broadchurch

⦿ Doctor Who

⦿ Endeavour

⦿ Hawaii Five-O

⦿ House MD

⦿ Leverage

⦿ Loki (& some MCU)

⦿ The Magnus Archives

⦿ The Revenant

⦿ Peaky Blinders

⦿ Prodigal Son

⦿ The Rookie

⦿ Station 19

⦿ Supernatural

⦿ The Witcher

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes To Self

I'd love to learn how to make my own movie/TV show gifs at some point. I know the basics but not enough to be happy with. This is a reminder of things I want to gif once I am ready to dedicate time to learning.

--------------------

⦿ The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It: Ed's heart condition

⦿ Mad Max: Fury Road: Max bound/muzzled & scenes with Furiosa

⦿ Apostle: Lots of Thomas and of the goddess

⦿ The Walking Dead: So much

[voiceoffenrisulfr]

Multitudes Masterlist

Pre-Multi Bucky Barnes

Hail Hydra (Pre-Multitudes Bucky whump. 16 Chapters, Rated E. DD:DE. On Haitus pending second arc.)

Nat x Clint (Later polycule)

We Are More Than the Choices We Made (Pre-Multitudes, Pre-Clint/Nat. 3 Chapters, Rating updated to E. In Progress.)

Multitudes (72 Chapters, 28 cross-posted so far. Rated E. DD:DE. Complete on AO3).

In the Dark of the Night (Bucky x Clint, One-Shot, Rated E.)

Chionophobia (Natasha& x Steve x Clint x Bucky&, One-Shot, Rated M.)

Tony x Stephen (IronSparkles!)

Magic and Madness (46 Chapters, 8 cross-posted so far. Runs alongside Multitudes. Rated E. DD:DE and fluff, somehow? Complete on AO3).

Bucky x Bug (SoldierBug)

When the Wolf Howls (& x &, pluralpoly. Norse Mythology AU. 7 Chapter, Rated M. Complete.)

[wantonlywindswept]

Dishonored ficbit: Cullero Red, Karnaca Blue (1/???)

Title pending because fuuuck titlesssss.

So I’ve finally hit a bit of a hitch with this fic, which has made the intense ‘must keep writing must keep writing DO NOT JINX IT’ feeling go away, so here is the first bit of it! I’m actually p pleased with it so far, which is, you know. Unusual.

Also trying something new with adding screenshots/images into the story to help my poor lost followers (cough @cinaea​ cough [ilu]) get some visual flavor since they’ve never actually played the game.

/belatedly realizes this is a thing that can be done

Also this is supposed to like. Eventually be Corvo/Daud. Far in the future. Like holyshit slowest burn ever. Does it even count as slowburn if one of them is physically absent for most of it? wot.

so basically rn this is just whumped!daud eyyy

(Set immediately post DH2, some references to early bits of DotO but not canon-compliant for it.)

After two weeks trapped in a cage at the Albarca Baths, most of it spent either in a magic-suppressed haze or fighting for his life like a dog, Daud finally accepted the fact that he was going to die there.

An ignoble death--but likely the one he deserved. He'd spent most of his life as a rabid hound anyway, tearing out the throats of those who crossed him, his only leash the draw of coin.

Fitting, then, that he should die like one.

He could feel the corrupted bonecharms eating away at him: at his body, his mind, whatever passed as his soul. Whoever designed them knew what they were doing--and what would make the best show. The one around his neck kept him from dying, but any damage done to his body hurt a hundred times over. The one affixed to his wrist made his blows stronger but slower. The two clipped to his belt gave him more stamina physically, but they leeched away his connection to the Void, tightening like a vise to choke off access to the powers that he'd had for the majority of his life.

They were smart enough to not give him time to compose himself between fights. They'd drop some cocky dumb bastard into his cage, lock the hatch behind them, and lower the suppression field just enough that he could stumble out of the chair they kept him strapped to. And as soon as the fight was over they slammed it back on, the high-pitched droning that only he could hear paralyzing him so they could drag him back to the chair, and his opponent out of the cage.

After a while, he'd stopped trying to leave them alive.

"Break time, pet," a female voice cooed from above. Daud inhaled a shaky breath as the heaviness weighing down his body lifted, just a bit, just enough that his senses came back into stilted focus. The manacles on his wrists and ankles--superfluous, when the field was fully on--were now open, and he sat up unsteadily, glancing up through the cage's wires.

It was a witch: one of Delilah's scattered coven. If she'd been at Brigmore fifteen years ago, she showed no recollection of him. She was usually the one to oversee the short periods he was allowed free rein--just enough time to relieve himself, to eat what scraps of food they deigned to give him.

At the beginning, he'd refused to do any of it. To eat, to fight, to bow to their demands. But just as he'd asked Corvo Attano to spare his life all those years ago--despite not deserving it, despite having no right to ask that of the man--his damnable self-preservation won out in the end.

"What's on the docket today?" asked a different voice as he dragged himself out of the chair. Another woman: the one who seemed to run the operation. Lee?

Daud limped over to the food left on the ground just below the hatch: a jug of water, half a loaf of bread, dried strips of some kind of unidentifiable meat. Apparently someone had been in a good mood, too, since they'd dropped down a couple of pears that were only partially rotten.

"One open mat and three scheduled fights. Two with the Brute here, one with Jenny."

The small area below the hatch was about the closest place in the cage that Daud got to having any kind of privacy. He settled down wearily on the floor there, leaning against the wall and picking at the stale bread.

At least they'd cleaned out the bodies, this time.

"And the challengers?"

"Jenny's is a rematch, that half-brained dockworker that came in last month. The Brute's got one of our regulars and some out-of-towner calling herself the 'Masked Felon'."

Daud blinked.

"Isn't that the name of that thief who ransacked Dunwall during the rat plague?" the witch asked idly.

"Tacky, right? Can't even come up with her own stage name. I didn't--oh, shit, there she is, quiet--"

Had Daud any energy, he might have gotten to his feet at the sight of the slim figure that appeared at the edge of the cage. He probably would have had some kind of reaction aside from dull surprise, too. But as it was, he just sat there blankly, looking up at the mask that had haunted his dreams and nightmares for years.

That was Corvo Attano's mask.

"Ladies. Am I early?"

That was not Corvo Attano.

"By about three hours," Lee replied, peevishly. "We haven't even got the bets in yet."

"I'm not in a rush. But I did want to inspect the facilities. This is the device that keeps him in check?"

Daud tilted his head to one side as the newcomer stepped out onto the top of the cage. That unblinking, haunting mask looked down at him with the same impassivity of its former wearer, and some inkling of emotion finally slid through the fog that had clouded his mind for the past weeks.

Quietly, Daud began to laugh.

"That's right. We can vary the power; it's lower right now so he can shit, eat, take a piss. No sport if he's half-dead, after all. He--what the fuck, is he laughing? He's never made a sound before this--"

"Thank you," Emily Kaldwin said sincerely, "For that information."

Then she flickered out of sight.

Daud braced a hand on the wall, wobbily levering himself to his feet as shouts and shrieks echoed through the bathhouse. There was the telltale crackles of a stun mine, the quiet hiss of a crossbow. Glass shattered somewhere, followed by coughing and swears--and then everything was silent.

A few moments later the suppression field switched off, and Daud inhaled a sharp, gasping breath as the Void flooded back into him.

He nearly ended up back on the floor, his knees buckling beneath him as pain seared in his chest, burning through his veins. But then the hatch above slammed open with a heavy thunk, boots dropping onto the ground nearby, and abruptly Daud was being steadied by the slender hands of the Empress of the Isles.

He squinted at her father's mask, still as ghastly as it was fifteen years ago.

"Am I hallucinating?" he asked, wincing as the words passed his lips. His voice was rougher even than usual, raspy and disused after weeks of refusing to speak.

"Possibly," Emily allowed, tilting her head to the side. "Void knows what state you're in. Hold on."

The words were less a request and more a direct order--though the realization of that fact came just a second too late. Daud lurched forward violently as the Void twisted around them, bile rising in his throat as Emily transported them up through the hatch and out to the front of the building. He gagged, swaying drunkenly against her as she slung his arm over her shoulders, his vision swimming.

What in the Void was that power? His transversals were always smooth, quick things, and from what he'd seen of Corvo, his were the same. This was some kind of gut-wrenching monstrosity that latched onto something in the distance and just yanked.

"If you're going to throw up, don't do it on me," Emily warned. "I like this coat."

"As the Empress wishes," Daud mumbled.

Emily scoffed, half-dragging him up toward the rail carriage, seemingly uninterested in addressing the plethora of unspoken questions that hung between them. She dropped him into one of the seats and then leaned over, yanking off the bonecharms at his neck and wrist and tossing them onto the track to be crushed.

She reached for the ones at his belt, too, but Daud hastily batted her hands away and fumbled to remove those himself. And while he couldn't see through Corvo's appalling mask, he was pretty sure she rolled her eyes at him.

"I have a ship docked down below the Acantila Repair Station," she said as he discarded the charms. "As soon as we board, we're setting sail to Dunwall."

Daud managed a grunt of acknowledgement as the carriage began to move. With the magic of the bonecharms no longer boosting his energy, the weeks of neglect and torment all decided to hit at once: the exhaustion and the pain finally allowed to catch up with his battered body. He struggled to focus as Emily continued speaking, but the gentle, soothing sway of the rail line dragged away whatever coherency he had left.

He sank back into the cushions, and from there into sleep.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

2016 Fanfiction Round-Up

Copied this fanfic round-up from @veliseraptor​ because I’m always a sucker for this kind of thing and I pretty much always do some kind of fic retrospective. Also I’m only doing this on AO3, not counting FFN.

Total Year-Long Wordcount: The unfortunate thing about my inability to finish stuff in a reasonable time frame means that there’s probably a big difference between how much I wrote last year and how much I actually posted. On the other hand, something like half of “the kindness of strangers” was written prior to this year and I’m still counting everything I posted, so whatever. Adding it all up, I posted 67,504 words on AO3 (minus “adventures of tiny Loki and Thor”), but my dubiously accurate 2016 document contains 97,000 words, so...my actual wordcount for the year is probably around 85,000.

This year I wrote and posted: 16 fics, of which 3 have more than one chapter, and 53 new “adventures of tiny Loki and Thor” posts 

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I didn’t set a word-count goal of any kind, so...I don’t know? I’d say I did okay, although now that I’m looking at it, I feel like I should have finished/posted even more short fics than I did, which is...not a super helpful way to look at things.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Maybe the “I got pissed about Hydra Cap” one, considering I sure didn’t see that asinine “twist” coming. I also didn’t really expect I’d write so many Avengers Academy fics, although maybe I should have. Of course, those are still both Marvel. Probably the only really out-there fic was flailing in the deep, for @markiplier‘s Slime Rancher and Subnautica videos. 

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Overall, I think I’d have to say under bright stars burning--I struggled a lot with that one too, partly because it was so different from anything I’d written before (taking place over a long period of time, with two characters gradually developing a relationship, and a somewhat more meandering plot than normal because of that; plus most of it was set in the past, requiring a lot more research than usual), and I spent a lot of the writing process sure I was producing absolute garbage, but I ended up being really satisfied with it. I think it has a good arc, with vignettes that work well individually, and based on the comments, I think I did a good job writing Steve’s voice, using gradually maturing word/style choices for different life stages, and showing how he and Loki fit well together. I don’t know, I just like it a lot. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Taking the plunge and committing to one of my long-term WIPs (the kindness of strangers) for Marvel Big Bang, I suppose. I learned, uh, that trying to wrestle a story I wrote in disconnected chunks over 2+ years is agonizing but more or less possible? 

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: Not counting the adventures of tiny Loki and Thor, my fic with the most kudos was the state of my head (228), followed by “under bright stars burning” (178), Metal Gear Widow (137), and “the kindness of strangers” (131). By comments, it’s pretty much the same but in a different order: “the kindness of strangers” (58 comment threads), “under bright stars burning” (32), and “the state of my head” (16). If you go by percentage of kudos to hits, it’s “the state of my head” (13%), “the kindness of strangers” (12%), I’m your national anthem (12%), and “under bright stars burning” (10%). Also I’m sure that’s way more than anyone wanted to know. 

Most fun story to write: Maybe “the state of my head”; I got inspired by a prompt, it all came together quickly, and I knocked it out in a weekend. Writing from Tony’s POV was fun, too. “flailing in the deep” was another one where I got to be funny.

Story with the single sexiest moment: Literally the only semi-explicit sex scene (by which I mean, I didn’t fade to black but I also didn’t describe specific body parts) I’ve ever written was for let your colors bleed and blend with mine (Crimson Peak, Thomas/Edith) and that was right at the end of 2015 so it doesn’t quite count. Otherwise there’s a kissing scene in “under bright stars burning” but it’s...not very sexy...

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:  uhhhhh. well, “the kindness of strangers” probably has the most/nastiest Loki whump I’ve posted on AO3 thus far, to the point that I think a few readers were surprised, so I suppose there’s that??

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I hadn’t really written Steve before “under bright stars burning” and that ended up being a reasonably long fic all from his POV, at different points throughout his life, so writing that one definitely gave me a better sense of him as a character. 

Hardest story to write: Gonna have to go with “the kindness of strangers,” which should be obvious to anyone who noticed me screaming about Marvel Big Bang for the last several months. 

Biggest Disappointment: I’m not great with deadlines, as everyone probably knows, so pretty much every time I sign up for anything with a deadline, I end up causing myself a lot of stress and just barely squeaking in under the wire, often with less of a story than I originally planned, or actually a little bit after the deadline in one way or another. I’ve often been especially bad about this with Yuletide, posting an unfinished placeholder on the deadline and then getting it actually done before reveals; way back in 2011, I never did get it done and they had to send it out for a pinch hit the night before reveals, and I still feel bad about that (and keep intending to go back to the fic I was trying to write). This year I got caught doing it again and although I did end up posting a complete story, I’m definitely not happy with it because it’s like...one third of the story I meant to write. I still intend to finish it, but the fact that I didn’t is frustrating. 

Biggest Surprise: Nothing comes to mind.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I’ve written exactly two Marvel-related fics that aren’t about Loki, and they’re both about Steve, one where he’s progressive and mad at the whole world, and another where Avengers Academy Steve realizes he’s on the aro/ace spectrum. That probably says something.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

At this point, Tony is running almost entirely on adrenaline and good old-fashioned Stark bravado (patent pending), so he’s pretty much prepared for things to go completely to shit at any second. The particular variety of shit remains to be seen, but honestly, shit is shit and he’s mostly just banking on JARVIS deploying the new suit before Loki switches from talking to shooting. (the state of my head)

“What the fuck is this?” (I’m your national anthem)

Dorian was worried about the Inquisitor. This was hardly unusual, to be fair; in fact it was so far from being a new state of affairs that when Dorian wondered briefly what it would be like to live without at least a vague background worry for Elden, he came up blank. (another year)

For as long as Gamora has known him, Thanos has been a collector, entirely unmatched. He has been so for much longer than that, in fact; Gamora herself and all her siblings are proof. (the kindness of strangers)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

“I wouldn’t say nervous,” he hedges. Nervously. (the weight of it all)

“I’ve never stood for any of that shit, and I’m sure as hell not going to let anybody pretend Captain America stands for it either. That’s not—I won’t give more power to that kind of hatefulness. If people want to be bigots, fine, that’s on them, but they do not get to use this symbol to spread and validate their hate.” (I’m your national anthem)

There’s about five seconds of resounding silence, during which Loki shivers and barely seems to be breathing and Tony keeps rubbing his shoulder because apparently this is his life now, and then Barton says, “What the fuck, Stark?” (the state of my head)

Loki growls under his breath and makes a sharp gesture that sends another robot flying. “End program,” he snaps, and glowers at Natasha again. “Did you have a point, or did you simply wish to drag me back to the infatuated horde slavering for my brother’s return?” Natasha tilts her head. Whatever else you could say about Loki (and there’s a lot), he sure has a fancier vocabulary than most people she knows. (getting the gang together)

He is a being of countless interwoven myths and stories, the precise intersection of which seems to shift every time he tries to examine it, and eventually he stops trying, because he is no longer sure that it is relevant to what he is doing here. One thing, in all this, is constant: always, he is Loki, and he knows more than almost anyone that identity is malleable, that facts and truth are not always perfectly interchangeable. (we could be heroes)

“I see,” Loki says. He does, actually; he has studied and used enough magic to know that some laws of reality simply are, immutable no matter the power of the one seeking to change them. This knowledge does nothing to make him feel any less weary, and for a moment he thinks the weight of all this really will crush him, that he lacks the strength to do anything but sink into the dust of this barren realm and sleep there forever. (in death’s other kingdom)

haha so it turns out I liked a bunch of lines in this year’s long fics so I’m just gonna...list those separately at the bottom...

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated: 

"under bright stars burning,” Steve and Loki hanging out on Coney Island, especially the bit where they’re sitting on the boardwalk railing watching the beach with the Wonder Wheel behind them

ditto, the kissing scene :3

anything?? those are the only two scenes that really come to mind in a “oh man I wish someone would draw this, it would be super cute” way, but 1) “the kindness of strangers” already has a bunch of awesome art from @neurovicky, which is amazing, and 2) I am thrilled with literally any fanart of my fics

Fic-writing goals for 2017:

continue writing at least a little bit every day

continue to post at least one new short fic to AO3 each month (last year I said “even if it’s a new ‘adventures of tiny Loki and Thor’ or ‘Custom figures’ chapter” but I managed even without that, I think, barely, so I should be able to do it again

continue to try focusing on fucking finishing some of the many, many, many fics languishing on my WIP list, especially the shorter ones that I really should have written and posted months or even years ago

more specific fic goals:

finish “the kindness of strangers” part III

finish the rest of my Yuletide fic haha whoops

New Year’s Resolution fic because my actual Yuletide fic was late, more whoops

that damn Stoki Week fic I started back in June

“Avengers Academy: Friendship Is Magic”

finish the rest of always gold to me

shit, I should get back to winter in our bones

and work on a followup to “under bright stars burning”

I don’t knowwww there are so many others

Favorite lines from “under bright stars burning” because sure why not, please note these are all very spoilery if you want to read the fic and haven’t:

“You would [like Thor],” Loki says, like it’s a law of the universe. “Thor is…bright, and boisterous, and everyone loves him, even when they are displeased with him. He is impossible to ignore. And I am…not him.”

He darts a glance toward Steve and then away, studying the shoreline, and Steve is suddenly struck by how beautiful Loki is. He’s noticed before, but not quite like this, with the breeze ruffling Loki’s hair and the sun highlighting those fine, sharp features Steve is always itching to draw. He doesn’t just want to draw Loki now, though; mostly he’s wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

Steve sighs, shoulders slumping, and gives up on the attempt at a smile. “It’s my mom. She…working in the TB ward finally caught up to her.” He swallows hard around the lump in his throat, which seems to be growing sharp points with every word. “The funeral was today.”

Loki gives him a look that somehow combines concern with profound skepticism.

Steve nods, his gut twisting uneasily as more threads of the nightmare come into focus, connect, begin to compose a larger picture. The golden prince in the red cape, blinding and bright, with a shadow no one ever notices. Cheers and thunderous applause (but not for the shadow, never for the shadow). His hand turning blue and ridged in the monster’s grip, and horror freezing the breath in his lungs more effectively than the glacial cold. A glowing blue box radiates cold and his hands turn blue as he touches it monster monster monster and revulsion is so thick in his throat he thinks he’ll choke on it. Rage and terror, rage and terror, no more than another stolen relic, claimed to love me, tell me tell me tell me, never wanted never loved never real and fear again. A corona of golden light. A spear and a throne and plans plans plans he will do it he will show them he is right, is worthy (is nothing but the monster parents tell their children about at night)—

Desert. Blood on the sand. A bridge. Battle, galaxies hanging suspended overhead. An explosion that sends him flying, his grip on the spear the only thing holding him above the abyss, but he has no reason to hold on and so he lets go and falls falls falls—

Bucky falls and Steve can’t catch him. Schmidt takes off with the Tesseract and Steve can’t stop him. Instead he sits at the Valkyrie’s controls and makes a date with Peggy that they both know he won’t make and tries not to think that even as Captain America, all he can do is fail the people he cares about, over and over again. Tries, fruitlessly, not to spend his last moments wishing he had more time with any of them, and then he sends the Valkyrie into the water.

And then Loki moves, quick as thought, already inside Steve’s guard, and Steve has no time or space to block him (and barely the space of a breath for a rush of horrified betrayal) before the tip of his scepter is pressed to Steve’s heart. Everything else disappears in a blaze of consuming blue light.

He is drowning in pain and anger, and then (no, Loki) despair overwhelms everything else, and he opens his hand, and he falls.

Under other circumstances, Loki thinks he might be impressed with his captors’ efficiency. They are expending no apparent effort and still grinding him down, and he does not want to think what it means, that this all must be in preparation for something—or that perhaps it is not, and he truly does not know which thought is worse.

He knows Thanos is too powerful. To think otherwise comes near to blasphemy.

It is fitting, he supposes, that the monster should destroy everything that was once good in its life, even this. Steve does not deserve this, does not deserve to suffer for unknowingly befriending a monster and finding himself inevitably drawn into the monster’s fate, but he will, and Loki can almost feel his spine bending under the weight of his own despair.

Favorite lines from “the kindness of strangers” because ditto, and ditto on spoilers:

This is truth: Thanos is patient like Death is patient, with the calm surety that the universe will bow to his will in the end no matter how long it takes.

Gamora was never nice except when it suited her, even before; was already hard, and fierce in her defense of anything she considered hers, and so once Thanos had broken and remade her, she had something left of herself, harder even than the shell he made her create.

She is a daughter of Thanos, by necessity and unyielding determination (and by something she refuses to call desperation, even in her own mind), but she is also the last surviving member of the Zehoberei race. This second identity is not one she considers often; at best it is not useful to the life she leads now, and at worst it is dangerous, but it still exists, always, alongside anything else Thanos might make of her—a kind of sacred responsibility, almost, even if she has little time or patience for religion or superstition. And the last survivor of the Zehoberei, in the name of all the unknown dead that she alone carries, burns with quiet rage at the idea of Thanos gaining the power to wipe out another race.

“I would take you for a Valkyrie,” he says, quiet and hoarse, “but if that were so you would not come to me, for I cannot succeed even at dying and I know Valhalla is barred to me.”

Yes, she is afraid of Thanos, afraid down to her marrow, and any thinking being should be as well, and perhaps everything else she tells herself—everything else she holds close as evidence that she does not belong to him—is merely an excuse for her own cowardice.

But the truth that matters the most in this case is simple: her reasons have not changed, and they far outweigh her pity for Loki (and her desire to prove to herself that she is not a coward). Whether they are still good reasons or merely excuses to salve what remains of her conscience is immaterial.

This is another truth: Gamora does not like to think in terms of what she can and cannot do. It is too much like helplessness, to look too long at the choices she is denied, and she learned a long time ago that helplessness is a short step away from death or worse. Instead she assesses situations and finds choices to make, and then she chooses, and she does not regret or look back—even when the choices are impossible or effectively meaningless. There is always, always a choice of some kind to be made, and to choose is to regain some measure of control over the situation, no matter how small. If she chooses, she cannot be forced one way or the other, and therefore she is not helpless.

“Soon,” Thanos tells her, his expression satisfied, and something unpleasant curls in Gamora’s stomach, the same mingling of fear and relief she feels whenever Thanos is pleased.

The titan smiles down at him, something both paternal and predatory in his gaze.

Slowly the blankness in his expression is replaced by something just as sharp and feral as the first time Gamora laid eyes on him, only now it is more wary, more focused, both more and less desperate. ... Every now and then, Thanos tells Loki that he is pleased with his progress, and Loki smiles to hear it, and his smile is like a brittle blade.

And for a long moment that freezes the blood in her veins like shards of ice, all she can think is I have failed. She has not done enough, and Terra is going to fall like her world did so long ago, all because she was so determined to wait for the right moment.

“It’s really not that complicated,” Romanoff says, and then: “I’ve got red in my ledger. I want to wipe it out.” There is…a cadence to it, something he knows, not the words but the sense of…something practiced, repeated, held close…

“Because look, he busted up a town because of a fight with his brother, singlehandedly destroyed a SHIELD installation, took out a guy’s eyeball, and threatened a freaking Holocaust survivor. Even if he doesn’t want to be this Thanos’s tool, he’s still a tool in general.”

“Gentlemen,” Fury snaps, “if you’re going to have a pissing contest, do it on your own time. I’m not asking you to like each other or the God of Crazy, I’m asking if you’ll put on your big boy pants for five seconds, do what’s necessary, and work together.”