#madstrohiatus

[madstronaut]

popping in to say hello, wishing my moots far and wide a happier more powerful and joyous and peaceful new year, i miss and love you all, and i am summoning energy to return here soon

also I'd be remiss if I didn't plug one of my favorite seasonal endeavors here: January is FaFiCoWriMo - please check out and consider writing a comment or two or 24 like I have, I promise it'll be a win-win situation 🌿✨

[madstronaut]

My ‘blrloveds, I will BRB as soon as I can get All My Shit Together™️ IRL and catch up to taggos then!

I shared a while back I lost a colleague and friend unexpectedly and in my nonexistent spare time have been compiling a sort of memorial project amongst my office to commemorate him and share with his loved ones.

I have been stuck on my own personal note to send to his family and in my 2am brilliance a few weeks ago I thought, “I’ll motivate myself by saying no tumblr until I finish the note to wrap this all up.”

so you can see how well that’s going. But sneaking a few minutes in here in hopes of whooping my own ass publicly into finishing (sounds very wrong or right after rereading what I just typed but as you can tell I’ve been away for too long and god willing not much longer)

“Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your head already knows.”

— Unknown

[madstronaut]

my metaphorical sedan (because who owns a car in nyc?) has been inching down struggle street this past month to attempt to finally merge back onto the highway of life as usual and it has been a fucking craaawwwl (but getting there!)

I took post-election week really, really hard tbh. like real wake up crying seeing the shadow of mordor on my doorstep hard. I'm still shaking off the sense of "what's the point in enjoying these silly side things, I could be doing actual meaningful work for change instead" that I had for a solid two weeks

on top of that, I finally found the words and a very precious physical memento of me and my old coworker that I was loathe to part with at first for a memorial project I was working on with my colleagues to gift to his family, gathered all our contributions and packaged it nicely to ship out...

...only for it to get lost/possibly stolen in the mail. I was inconsolable and cried for an entire week just thinking about having lost not only something really irreplaceable but at all that collective work gone to waste.

After wallowing for a while I am just now getting the verve to mourn and accept the loss(es) and re-salvage the whole entire project again to re-send it but my usual freetime habits for now are going to be being present with IRL beloveds, good long cries, lots of deep breaths, and repeatedly wishing the package thief and incompetent, bureaucratic civil servants to the ninth circle of hell

“Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your head already knows.”

— Unknown