#made this post in an Altered Mental State. also newt hair is based directly off of my unfortunate experiences. anyway. normal post

[bonemoisturizer-moving]

Newt, on his second tube of exorbitantly priced Extra Strength Results Guaranteed hair gel sometime in the earlier years of Shatterdome cohabitation with Hermann, having failed at his original goal of actually slicking down his hair as the dress code for the funding gala he and Hermann are attending in half an hour would require, but having succeeded magnificently in gelling his hair into incredibly stiff spikes of hair at a 75° angle instead of its usual 90° angle, conceding to the formal dress requirements in any other way by wearing his cleanest white button up and a pair of unripped black jeans: well shit. Also fuck. Yeah I think that sums up the situation.

Hermann, stepping through the door in an incredibly outdated suit cobbled together from thrift store finds, hand me downs, and though he would rather die than admit it to Newton, some pieces from Grandpa Gottlieb’s closet, well aware of how he looks: Newton, I’m ready to go if you are, and if you have anything to say just know that I am more than willing to hit you in the shins with my cane- oh. Oh dear

Newt, turning and seeing Hermann, immediately feeling better: holy SHIT dude you look like a spirit Halloween costume of a stodgy professor

Hermann, not rising to the bait due to his excellent manners and iron self control and certainly not the fact that he’s not sure what a Spirit Halloween is: well at least I don’t look like a low budget Naruto parody anime

Newt, finally getting himself under control after a three minute fit of laughter on the ground fueled by stress and caffeine, by the end of which he was only able to point at Hermann and squeak out ‘NARUto’ between hysterics: oh man. we are getting ZERO funding.

Hermann, shifting his feet into the most stable position he can manage and leaning on his cane as he offers Newt his hand up and then fixing his collar, the act of which happens to elicit an emotion that Newt will firmly refuse to interrogate for at least six months after this: Well. At least we’ll look as precisely in need of it as we are.

Newt, trying very hard to not think about Hermann’s long bony fingers brushing his chest, or why he wants Hermann to do it again: so true breastie