#made this post for a friend who doesn't like being touched unless they know EXACTLY how and where

[fisherrprince]

friends, countrymen. if you feel the urge to go to the chiropractor because your body aches, you do not want a chiropractor, you want a massage.

“but fish” you may say. “that sounds. scary” it’s not. if you really have an aversion to people touching you, at all, ever, maybe this isn’t for you. but a chiropractor isn’t for you either, because they also touch you a lot. In the case that you think you’d be chill with it for an hour, im going to describe in detail more or less what to expect at a massage appointment.

-

why not a chiropractor?

we’re not going to get into it, but a chiropractor tries to put your bones back in alignment. This is functionally useless if your tight muscles are pulling on your bones in the first place! They’ll just go back to being achy and out of alignment within the week. You need to be addressing the root of the problem. a massage may not fix it (sorry. it takes work on your part), but it may help your muscles relax so you can train them to chill out and sit in their correct spots. plus it feels nice. if you feel like you need something more intense, go for a deep pressure therapy massage. it digs into your sore muscles without the danger of a chiropractor.

what does the room look like?

in most cases, when a massage parlor has an official building, the massage room is a small dim-ish room with one massage table, maybe a chair, and some cubbies or cabinets either for the masseuse's tools or for your clothes. there may be decorations, candles, fake candles, little speakers, a mirror, or pillows. the massage table looks like a little twin mattress with a donut pillow sticking out the top and blankets covering the mattress. The table is also usually heated, and you can adjust the heat by asking for it.

what stuff is also there?

smells there are smells in there, usually woody, floral, or natural scents like cedar, eucalyptus, lavender, chamomile, or peppermint. sometimes you get to choose your smells. if there's a smell you don't like (eg lavender, which makes me sneeze), politely ask not to use that one. very few massage parlors have no smells at all, but I've found that most places aren't nearly as overwhelming as, say, a bath and body works, which sucks to be in.

music or nature sounds. think stereotypical soft spa music. I've never encountered a situation where the music bothered me, but you can also request to change it.

lotions and/or oils they go on your body, because rubbing your hands against your skin for a long time without a buffer irritates your skin! they are where most of the smells comes from, if there's not a diffuser in the room. again, if a smell is bad, politely request to not use that smell. the oils may also get in your hair or on your underclothes, if you keep them on.

warm things sometimes the masseuse will use warm things, like warm towels or warm rocks, on you. they're usually nice in the same way a hot tub is nice - a little hot at first, and then warm. if they use a warm towel, it's probably going on your feet or back or neck. warm rocks will usually go on your back. I've never encountered warm rocks but they're in the promo pictures so, i suppose you'd need to do something other than a deep pressure therapy massage to get warm rocks.

some talking at the beginning, the masseuse may instruct you to take some deep breaths and relax, like the beginning of a meditation. she will usually not keep talking the entire time unless you're talkative. I often fall asleep.

what am I expected to do?

you'll enter the room, the masseuse will ask you what you want her to focus on, and she'll leave for a few minutes to let you undress. You can undress to your comfort level, but I usually at least decide to go topless, because it helps them reach my back better and my upper back hurts. once you're as comfortable as you can be, slide in under the blankets (both blankets if there's two) on the table and leave only your head poking out. if she doesn't tell you to start on your back or stomach, pick one, doesn't often matter.

you are fully expected to let her know at the beginning if there are areas you don't want her touching, and you're expected to let her know if she's going too hard or too gentle on your muscles. her goal is your comfort and relief!

then what happens?

chillax for a while. the masseuse will move around the table, addressing your muscles bit by bit. usually, they'll start with a scalp massage, and then move down. aside from massaging you, she will often move your limbs around, tuck the blanket around you, or put things like rolled towels or pillows under you at times. you are just supposed to lay there, relax, and let her do so.

good massage feels like anywhere from a nice backrub to that good sore you feel poking a bruise or moving after working out real hard. it should not actively hurt -- let him know it hurts if it does.

what do I do after?

when she leaves the room to let you redress, do that, and then go meet her in the lobby to pay her (if you haven't already) or for a brief touch base. if this is like, a fancy resort massage, they'll have a whole dressing room you're supposed to go back to, so you won't see your masseuse again. he's probably washing up.

drink water! often they'll give you some water afterwards. It's because loosening your tight muscles opens them up to water your body wants to give them anyways, so you might get a little dehydrated.

eat a snack with vitamins in it, like nuts or fruit. if you had a massage that really beat you up (I asked for this a few times while recovering from an injury), take an advil too. Normally, you won't need pain reliever even a little bit.

if it was nice, leave a little tip.

miscellaneous tips

if this is your first time, go for the shortest option so you can see if you like it or not. often, they'll have a first time client discount.

don't be afraid to fall asleep or snore or anything. they don't care.

they also shouldn't care about your body type. To be polite, take a shower at least the night before going in, but I guarantee they couldn't care less about what you look like, only that your muscles are stiff.

don't be too annoyed if you asked for neck and shoulders and the masseuse is hanging out at your feet. remember to specify exactly what you want at the beginning, but your muscles are all connected, and your legs are probably tight too.

try to find an independent company. massage envy might be good for a first attempt if you're worried about them pushing too hard, but they aren't as good or personalized as some guy who's been doing this for 40 years.

when you lay on your stomach, stick your face in the donut pillow in a way that lets your face stick out the hole, but try not to line the middle of your neck up with the edge of the bed. it's a little uncomfy.

you are fully within your rights to wear a mask during your massage.

please tell them your allergies! especially if it's to coconut oil!

[noxexistant]

OKAY SOOOO /mention of threat of violence and anxiety

one of the newsies goes to David's but accidentally tracks mud in and then frantically tries to mop it up with his shirt getting more and more upset apologizing hoping Mr jacobs doesn't hurt him too much.

[screams] ouhhh i love this

all of the newsies are so incredibly anxious in ways that davey just cannot understand, despite all of his own anxiety. at his core, he’s always known that his parents - his home - are beacons of safety, even with all of the stress and the conversations he’s not really supposed to overhear and the watered-down soup and the piles of letters on the sideboard by the front door. his aba can be short-tempered sometimes, especially after his injury left him so frustrated and helpless, often unable to even find peace in sleep, but he’s never made anyone in the family his target. even on his worst days, when he’ll leave halfway through dinner to go to bed because he just can’t take les’ chattering and sarah’s problem-solving and ima’s worrying, he’ll kiss each of them on the head before he goes, muttering his goodnights and blessings in his familiar yiddish.

the idea of being afraid of his father is so foreign to davey that he forgets it’s second nature to most of his friends. that, to them, his aba is just a man, tall and scary and rough as any other. a father - a concept which couldn’t possibly hold more negative connotations to most of the boys.

jack is charming and polite and talkative with davey’s aba, acting as the perfect young man to cover up all his fear, but davey can always see it in how he watches meyer’s every move and tenses when he moves too fast or talks too sharp. race doesn’t trust meyer one bit, won’t speak to him unless meyer speaks to him first, mostly just eyes him suspiciously and ducks his head. crutchie has no idea how to interact with meyer, and is largely just his usual bright awkward self like when he’s meeting new people, but he won’t let meyer anywhere near touching him.

it’s sniper who tracks the mud in.

it’s pouring down with rain, and david’s house had been closer, so even though he doesn’t exactly know sniper the best out of all the manhattan newsies, it’d seemed the obvious thing to do to when he passed sniper on his way home to invite him to come home with david. wait out the rain, maybe have some dinner with them - “my ima’ll be done with cooking ‘round this time, and she loves the company.” but apparently sniper’d missed the memo, and david has failed to clarify, that he’s got a father too.

sniper freezes completely the moment he steps through the door and sees meyer sat at the table, thumbing through post.

david fails to notice. he heads further inside, pulling his hat off and beginning to strip off some of his soaked outer layers, introducing sniper to his parents as he goes. meyer glances up and lets his gaze travel down the thin, bedraggled boy in the doorway - an all-too familiar sight, by now - and his gaze sticks to sniper’s worn boots, full of holes and clearly soaked through. he’s concerned, but sniper misreads the attention, immediately dropping his own gaze to his shoes and turning back to the few wet, muddy footprints leading from the front door to his spot in the hallway, and panic grips him.

“sorry—“ he chokes out immediately, and has to swallow the instinct to add, “fù qin.”

he knows better. he knows better. but he’d let his attention wander, overwhelmed by the new place - so much larger than his father’s room above the deli - and the smells, rich food and the scent of a home, not just laundry.

he knows he’ll be in worse trouble for it with his father later, but he strips his shirt immediately from his shoulders. there’s nothing else he can use, and the filthy rainwater and mud are settling on the old wooden floors, and, frankly, sniper’s shirt’s already filthy and soaked and his father will kill him regardless - it’s only the practical thing to do to try and keep davey’s father from killing him too.

“i’m sorry,” he repeats, as he crouches quickly to the floor and starts mopping at his mess. it shouldn’t be a difficult job, it’s the same as work he does every day at the laundromat, but—but his shirt’s filthy and soaked through, so rather than mopping the mess up he’s just making it worse, pushing the muddy water around the floor. the mess is just bigger now, and looks ten times worse. he can feel his heartbeat racing in his chest.

“i’ll clean it, i’m cleanin’ it, i’m really sorry,” he assures uselessly, trying fruitlessly to do exactly that. his hands are all wrinkly from being wet in the rain all day, so cold that the joints are stiff, and he keeps losing his grip on the heavy, worn fabric of his shirt, knocking his knuckles against the floor instead. it hurts, but he reminds himself it doesn’t hurt near as much as what’s gonna happen if he keeps fumbling like this. he doesn’t even know what kind of man davey’s ba is, whether he’ll be angry enough with this display that sniper‘ll have to run, but he figures he’s about to find out as he hears footsteps approaching.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, if—if you could bring me a towel, please, i’ll do it myself, my-my shirt’s too—i just—it looks like i’m making it worse, i swear i’ll clean it all up, and i’ll wash the-the—“

the blood rushing in sniper’s ears like roaring wind crashes suddenly into silence as he’s…wrapped in something warm. he doesn’t dare look up, knows better than to make eye contact, but he looks confusedly down at himself and the soft, worn towel draped around his shoulders, covering him where his damp undershirt leaves him bare.

“it’s—it’s alright,” davey’s voice says from somewhere above him, shaking slightly but fighting to be something like soothing. “you’re not…you’re not in trouble. my little brother - oh, you—you’ve met him, les - he tracks in mud all the time. so much of it. and he never cleans up after himself, ima has to tell him, it drives her crazy. —but she never really gets mad. and neither does aba. they’re not…they’re not like that.”

very, very slowly, sniper forces his gaze up from the floor and dares to meet davey’s. davey offers him a smile, looking half terrified and maybe a quarter guilty. behind him, meyer’s smiling softly too, his face all…open and gentle, his whole body unmoving from where he’s settled in his chair like he’s real comfy. davey’s ama’s mostly gone back to fussing at the food she’s making, humming a tune sniper doesn’t know that doesn’t sound like anything he’s ever heard before.

he flinches when there’s more footsteps suddenly approaching, but it’s only a girl - maybe older than davey - with another towel in her arms. she drops it unceremoniously to the floor and then follows it, crouching to begin mopping at the mess.

“i—“ sniper tries to say, but the girl looks up and smiles at him.

“dinner’s ready. you and david go sit down.”

sniper wants to argue that it’s his mess and her house, her dinner, but she jerks to head to encourage him off again, still smiling. “go! i’ve been picking at the food the whole time ima’s been cooking.” she drops her voice to a playful whisper. “i’m not even hungry anymore.”

“i told you!” david’s - and his sister’s? - ama cries, but her tone is just as playful. she’s smiling as she dishes up the food, and david’s stood sort of hovering between the table and sniper - knowing better than to try and touch sniper to pull him up - so sniper forces himself to his feet. he sits down at the table where davey directs him to, the seat as far from meyer as possible, and pulls his towel blanket a little tighter around himself.

by his second helping of dinner, and more bright chattering and well-loved funny stories than sniper’s ever heard, meyer is so far from his fù qin in his head that sniper can hardly recall his own fear. and he feels a little better going back to the laundromat that night, knowing that maybe there are some fathers that aren’t like his own.

[practickles]

Haruka Kiritani Tickle HCs

Obligatory Warning: This post is entirely focused on SFW fluffy tickles.

She is a full on pure switch.

Very very (canonically) casual about it, Painful Hope event my beloved.

She just sees it as silly fun and an easy way of getting people to smile.

Obviously not with strangers of course, but she doesn't need to be particularly close or best friends with anyone to enjoy tickling/being tickled. If everyone involved is comfortable, then she is too.

As a ler, she is an absolute menace to all lees everywhere

What makes her so bad is the fact that she doesn't necessarily go for worst spots per sae.

Instead, she will quickly and methodically figure out what teases get to her lee and then proceed to exploit those weaknesses for all they're worth.

Her "it's tickle time" line in Painful Hope kills me

She will sit there and try every. little. thing. until she can figure out what exactly is the most effective.

She's also the perceptive type, so don't even try to hide your reactions unless you want to be at her mercy for much much longer.

Of course she has the capacity to be gentle, and can and will do so at the slightest request/sign of discomfort, it's just not her go to.

Though gentle tickles with her are so. good.

Again, perceptive, so she can tell exactly how happy her lee is and how gentle they want.

Just because she knows though, doesn't mean she won't ask. One of her favorite teases is trying to get a lee to admit exactly what they want in heavy detail.

Most often, she tickles all of MMJ and An, and will sometimes also go for Saki, Ichika, Miku or Rin, but most of her friends have experienced it at least once.

Now just because she knows what she's doing doesn't mean she's always confident and mean.

And yeah, cocky ler Haruka can be devestating but I also raise you (vaguely inspired by something Atti said once) giddy ler Haruka

Haruka who just gets so happy to be able to let loose with her loved ones that she can't stop smiling and blushing watching them fall for pieces under her touch

She gets so much pure amazement from the fact that she made them smile like that. They're laughing because of her.

Sometimes, she'll think so much about it that she'll just stop tickling entirely.

Leaving her lee with either confusion and worry (in the cases of Minori, Shizuku, and Miku) or a perfect opportunity to tease her (An, Airi, and Rin)

She is surprisingly far easier to tease as a ler than a lee.

To her, it's far more embarrassing to be making someone else laugh than laughing herself.

If she's the one laughing, she can hide behind the fact that she can't control it. Her reactions are due to the fact that the ler wants to see them. But when she's doing the tickling, it's all on her. Like a big neom sign pointed right at her saying she loves tickling.

Though there's not much of that she can hide anymore.

BEAUTIFUL lee. Yk that idol sparkle thing she does? Yeah.

Her tickle laugh is nothing less than enchanting.

Her worst spot by a mile is her belly. Poor girl can't take it at all.

She learned at a young age not to wear crop tops or anything that remotely shows her stomach around An unless she wants to get wrecked to bits.

She very frequently wears crop tops around An

The only people that ever regularly try to get her back are Saki, Rin, An, and Airi.

Minori in particular feels a little shy and intimidated by going up to her idol and doing something as childish as tickling her despite the fact that not two days ago, said idol pinned her to the ground and tickled her to oblivion.

Miku, Luka, and especially Rin like to offer to tickle her when she's feeling down.

Ever since finding out how much she likes it, it has become Rin's go to for cheering up Haruka.

When she gets too in her own head, sometimes before she even notices it herself, she'll find herself in a spontaneous hug from Rin and a few moments later, doubled over in laughter.

She's about average in terms of general ticklishness and doesn't have a whole lot of weird spots but is pretty ticklish in most common places, (sides, feet, armpits, neck, etc.)

She is not at all embarrassed about being tickled, maybe gets a little pink over her more extreme reactions, but other than that is pretty much unshakable.

That does not keep her from hiding/controlling her laugh. She's not embarrassed about being tickled, but she is VERY embarrassed about her natural tickle laugh.

It takes a certain stubbornness and preserverance to get her to finally stop manufacturing her laughter. She is very well practiced in that regard.

Verbal teasing to the tune of "Aw, does that tickle?" or "What's so funny? Why are you laughing?" doesn't do a whole lot in terms of flustering her.

She's also very used to being called pretty/affirmations in her general appearance so for the most part, complements don't get her very bad.

Even if she gets insecure, she's still used to hearing it so it doesn't have much of an effect.

(Unless they are from a romantic interest OR happen to be when she's already feeling down about herself and then they're pretty decent at making butterflies)

The real big ones though are the holy grails of both physical teasing and baby talk.

Slowly pushing up her shirt and "accidentally" brushing against her stomach actually kills her.

And "Kitchi kitchi coo!" Makes her lose her mind.

She's just so so so soft and I adore her. Live laugh lee ler Haruka

[freshairforrabbits]

Taking your word for it re fanfiction asks, so: 1, 7, 9 (for your Hostel fic that deserves more love), 10 (again Hostel), 17, 21, 25, 27, 28, 36, 41, 44, 45, 47, 48, 49. Your made up title to write a summary for is "i need no introduction (welcome to the greatest show)" from skins by the Haunting, which I have been listening to on repeat over the past few days.

Thank you for asking all of these ❤️ and also for making me discover that song because it is so fucking good!!!

1)Since I can remember! At toddler age and maybe even a bit before, my mom would let me and the siblings draw all over these little blank picture books she would staple together. She would then ask what the story was about so she could write it down on each page, and I was already making up new endings to whatever media I could understand like Bug's Life, Jurassic Park, PBS kids shows. If that doesn't count as fanfic though– then I seriously buckled down to write my first one when I was 10, with pencil and paper, and then 22 for actually finishing one and posting it on AO3

7) anytime after 9pm 

9) oh fuck that's a tough one, I'd say in Jagten it's the parts with Paxton stumbling around the Elite Hunting Clubs killing floor, because in the movie that's one of my favorite scenes where Paxton calls Natalya a bitch and then she's like, 'they paid me a lot of money for you. That makes you my bitch.' Just getting to write her seeing his shock and disgust and fear was fun as hell. 

10) I was going to actually go all the way up to some plotline where she does kill him (since Paxton is killed in the Hostel universe I figured Natalya becoming a hunter to do the honors instead would've been so badass of her, despite Paxton being a favorite in his own right he's just very killable), but then I figured it'd be far better to start things off sort of where they began with the fic. Natalya and Paxton facing each other down except this time the resolution is up in the air, and Paxton has no idea that she's coming for him. 

17) The girl, she made a deal, he remembers it now, to save the ghosts she'd come to see as friends, as more parents than her own, sacrificing herself to a crude entity of booze, sex, and filth;

beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeetlejuice.

21) If we are talking about outside of AO3 then that would be god, this would be a lot of people both within AO3 and outside of AO3, hm, I really admire this one author who wouldn't you know shares the same name as you! All jokes aside, so much of the fics I've been writing and making lately have been directly inspired by your writing and so I can't help but admire the fuck out of the absolute range of your writing and the ability you have to tackle so many different styles and characters!

25) Yes! Although I can't give any specific examples, I just know I have, and it's usually when writing super hopeful bits after writing a bunch of incredibly harrowing sequences.

27) I make outlines! They're typically very long too and constantly get changed around and shifted and even deleted and rewritten many times. The outline for pretty boy is 40k on any given day and most of that will not actually be what's finally written it's just excerpts and scenes that don't quite work but pieces of them could be stitched together for something better 

28) There isn't exactly anything I'm doing super different now then when I first started! But I wish I'd known to never touch general fandom Tumblr or Twitter or social media (and especially Discord Servers) with a ten foot pole when I started posting, that'll destroy your motivation to write faster than anything, not to mention it gets in your head about characterization and whatever else; like just write!! Just write and don't look at what other people are saying because it is not worth it unless they're fellow authors you have a rapport with 

36) Selfcest-Daddy-Son Carnival Ride of Grooming and Sexual Battery from Fucking Hell; Oh and don't forget the maybe-baby! (not sure if that's the spoiler that questions asking for but dfghhjjj)

41) Probably Natalya from Hostel and Natália from 3% in an unfinished wip but she's not exactly a minor character imo, just under appreciated 

44) (You fight, you rip into him, you eat him alive, fangs sunk through the muscle of lips, colonel's cum, corporal's blood swapped between you, ouroboros, you—)

45) Sheer mental illness, literally nothing else makes me write 30k in two weeks more than a sudden burst of energy and nigh delusional thinking which inevitably leads to a cycle of crashing and burning but fuck it we ball nothing else gets me clearing out those wips faster. That and one of the core elements of experiential therapy emphasizes learning to express through writing so that definitely keeps me going too since the more I write the more I can take with me to a session even if the content isn't relevant, it's all about processing a vast array of situations and emotions and intrusive thoughts through playing with little figures in the sandbox of a word document.

47) "i need no introduction (welcome to the greatest show)" this is going to be such a boring answer but for a title like this nothing better comes to mind then that idea you mentioned about Recom Jake being captured by the Na'vi. Just something about how he'd be putting on his best performance for them, all Loki stuck in a glass cage style or something, knowing oJake is freaked the hell out by him and then everything to do with Spider would be such a fucking mess. And good God that song is a banger!! (I am now listening to it on repeat as well while writing haha) I'm notoriously shit with creating summaries on the spot so apologies for not being able to make one up :'') 

48) Imprisonment. Bottom line, I don't know if that's a trope per se? But a character, specifically the protagonist or the biggest baddie of the fandom getting mind-breaked in a cell I pretty much write for every fandom I have ever been in and probably will continue to do so. 

49) Warrior Cats Truth or Dare on FFnet, it was a crackfic that had me dying laughing as a kid I remember reading it every night before bed in elementary school. Very fun, and it is why I love a good crackfic to this day

[clacing]

if you don’t mind, can I hear your thoughts on the possibility of Homura having internalized homophobia? I’ve seen a post about it or two, (mostly with the scene where there’s a statue of Madoka (?) ) and I have no idea what the census is on it

First of all I am so sorry you sent me this ask more than a month ago but I had exams at the time and then was too burned out to write anything that made sense so this might be a bit incoherent 😭

I don't know what the consensus is either but I can tell you what I personally think: she doesn’t literally have internalized homophobia, but she's definitely coded that way.

What I mean by that is I don’t think the idea that “my feelings for Madoka are wrong because I’m a girl and she’s a girl” has ever crossed Homura’s mind, because I don’t think Homura considers the feelings themselves to be wrong at all. But that has less to do with Homura valuing herself or the nature of her feelings and everything to do with the object of those feelings being Madoka. 

Homura holds on to her love for Madoka like a lifeline. She embraces it as the reason for her existence, even going on a downward spiral in the Wraith Arc when she realizes her feelings for Madoka are starting to fade along with her memories because it makes her feel purposeless. That love is essential to her survival, and her survival is essential to saving Madoka and preserving her world - so Homura can't hate it, repress it, or resent it, not even if she wanted to. What she can do is refuse to act on it.

Homura hates herself, but she doesn't hate herself because of her feelings for Madoka. She probably would hate herself more if she didn’t adore Madoka. I think it’s more of the opposite, that her feelings are only a problem because she hates herself and thinks she deserves nothing good. Even before meeting Madoka, Homura felt useless and like a burden on those around her, and I can't imagine that feeling has gotten any better after 100+ timelines of trying to save your best friend and only succeeding in making her fate worse.

So in later timelines especially, Homura starts keeping her distance from Madoka to be able to focus on protecting her. She stops touching her, stops trying to build a connection with her, stops interacting with her unless absolutely necessary (though she doesn’t exactly succeed), which is a far cry from how affectionate they used to be with each other. 

Homura won’t allow herself to be happy, won’t think she deserves to be until Madoka is safe, but that goalpost gets farther and farther away ‘cause Madoka only gathers more and more karmic potential - so all that does is make sure she never gets to be happy, because her fight will never really be over.

And I might just be reaching here, but that kind of emotional repression, coupled with the feeling of never doing enough to deserve happiness, because no matter how hard you work or how much you sacrifice, you’re still just a flawed human standing against a system that’s designed to crush you - that just screams Catholic guilt to me. And while we don’t know if Homura is or ever was Catholic herself, we know she did go to Catholic school, which clearly still colors a lot of her language and worldview.

It’s not uncommon for Catholics to “accept” LGBT+ people, but only so long as they’re aware it’s a sin and seek penance for it and keep it to themselves - so plenty of LGBT people who grow up Catholic can acknowledge their feelings and even entertain them to a certain extent, but still struggle to outright act on them. And Homura’s feelings have the added burden of being astronomically strong (I’ll get back to that) which would put off anyone who didn’t know any better - so as they grow over time, she can show less and less of them, but having to repress them also gets harder.

Her literally and figuratively making Madoka her god is an extension of all of that. It’s just much, much easier to justify your feelings for someone if you convince yourself that they are perfect, unreachable and untouchable, because a) They stop being human. They’re a god, and you’re supposed to worship gods, right? b) You can’t do anything to a god. You can’t hurt them or ruin them or make them uncomfortable no matter how much you love them c) A god can’t love you back, so there’s no risk of your feelings being encouraged.

Which brings me to the scene with Madoka’s statue. This scene happens when Homura’s trying to figure out who could’ve trapped all of them in a labyrinth, therefore disrespecting Madoka’s last wish and sacrifice. She makes a big show of caring about Madoka first, about Madoka only - she can’t even spare one second to feel glad that she got to see Madoka again before jumping to Whoever did this is wrong and evil and must be stopped because this is what Madoka gave her life for. 

And while all of this is going on, her familiars are mocking her because they know damn well the person who did this is Homura herself, which is proof that as much as she claims to worship Madoka, to only want what she wants, to be serious about respecting Madoka’s wishes, there is also a part of her that wants her there, that lured her into her labyrinth because she missed her.

We flash back to this scene again when Homura realizes she is the witch, except now Homura sees herself touching Madoka’s statue and staining it. That’s usually the scene people point to when talking about Homura having internalized homophobia, because it can be read as Homura feeling like wanting to be with Madoka again (and inadvertently acting on that desire as a witch) is tainting Madoka’s sacrifice, or as Homura feeling like her love is tainting Madoka herself.

And I think those interpretations are inextricably linked, because the queer coding in Homura’s whole arc is very much intentional. Even when it’s not outwardly about her being a lesbian, everything she goes through resonates so much with every part of the queer experience that it still winds back around to her being a lesbian. Homura has tried so hard to repress the part of herself that doesn’t just want Madoka, but wants her with her; she’s tried to put Madoka’s wishes before her own, and convinced herself that she’s fine with it - but well, witches don’t have that kind of restraints. So Homura is forced to recognize that she’s not happy just standing at the feet of Madoka’s statue and worshipping stone, and that makes the illusion shatter.

And once she stops being able to ignore that she doesn’t see Madoka as a god, not really; and that Madoka maybe didn’t want to be a god in the first place; that’s when she decides to take matters into her own hands.

Remember what I said about Homura’s feelings for Madoka being astronomically strong? What I mean is that they literally aren’t bound to the laws of the universe, because they exist outside of the cycle of hope and despair. Rebellion and Wraith Arc especially imply that her magic is self-sustaining because her magic and her love for Madoka are the same thing - meaning that as long as Homura keeps loving her, there is nothing she can’t do (they actually explain the mechanics of it in Wraith Arc, but it would make this meta even longer and more convoluted than it already is). She is an anomaly, on par with Madoka (maybe even because of Madoka, in much the same way Madoka only became as powerful as she is because of Homura) - so when she says that no one could possibly understand her, that this feeling is hers and hers alone, I believe her! But that’s also just the queer experience again - thinking you’re the only one who’s ever felt like this, that no one could possibly understand you, that somehow what you feel is different and more powerful and potentially more dangerous than all other kinds of love.

But it’s also the only thing that can save Madoka, and we know Homura would damn herself for her. She was willing to die in her labyrinth, away from the Law of Cycles, in despair for all of eternity, to keep Kyubey from getting to Madoka - why not take it one step further to give Madoka a chance at being truly happy? Her love made Madoka a god in the first place, so it stands to reason that if Homura puts her mind to it, it can tear her down and make her human again.

So Homura finally sets that love free. She reaches out and takes Madoka’s hands and declares her love for her to everyone who’s listening. She takes the disruptive potential her love has and takes advantage of it, because Madoka used her infinite power to make the magical girl system a little bit kinder to everyone but Homura looks at the system that's causing the girl she loves so much pain and says the system is wrong - and then demonizes herself for it. But she sets it free nonetheless.

It’s not too different from magical girls releasing their despair and turning into witches, although Homura is obviously affecting the world on a much larger scale. I’m saying this not to claim that Homura had no control over her actions and therefore did nothing wrong, but to point out that magical girls needing to make peace with the uglier parts of themselves is an important part of the show. That’s why Sayaka being able to summon her own witch at will was so powerful - because we’ve seen her struggle through the series and fall into despair, and we see her now having full control over her emotions and using the darkness she knows is inside her to her advantage, to be stronger, instead of suppressing it. And I definitely think Homura needed to release those feelings too instead of keeping them locked up and beating herself up over them, because there’s so much power in them - as much potential for good and positive change as they’ve got for destruction - and releasing them is the first step towards embracing them.

Obviously everyone will have different interpretations of this scene, but to me, this is the closest Homura has ever come to asking Madoka if she reciprocates her feelings. Or at the very least, if she can accept them. And Madoka (who has no context for this whatsoever) says No.

But for Homura to be able to ask Madoka if she’s allowed to be selfish, if she’s allowed to act on her desires at all, even if the only reason she’s asking is that at this point she’s got nothing left to lose - well, it’s huge.

I’m not going to say the way Homura went about things was right or even good for her, considering she is very clearly riddled with guilt and Rebellion is overflowing with suicidal imagery - but also there’s something to be said about how sometimes, accepting you’re the devil and going to hell anyway can give you the freedom to explore and potentially embrace parts of yourself you’ve always been too afraid to act on. So, mixed bag?

[swordofpevensie]

As I've seen it again, here are my favorite things about Prince Caspian (2008):

warnings: It is a very long post and I can't help but swear sometimes.

• How Caspian is confused all the time.

• Prefossor: “Don't use that until you really need to use it.”

Caspian: *Uses it the first time he is in danger.* Good job boy, good job.

• “Phyllis.” “SUSAN!” (Lucy does the same thing in tvodt *emotional voices*)

• That disappinted look in Susan's eyes when she sees Peter fighting, and they way she doesn't do anything to help him. Like girl they are beating your brother??

• Edmund comes and saves Peter by simply jumping on everyone who is trying to hurt Peter. We love a clever and quick boi™

• Lucy's little comfort to Peter. *sniffing*

• Peter's iconic hair, that rebel and sassy hair.

• “I'm not touching you!” “I'M NOT HOLDING YOUR HAND!”

• How happy they are at the beach and the way they finally can have pure fun. *more sniffing*

• Narnia is so beautiful in summer and Pevensies look so beautiful too.

• And for my own please, I'll mention how beautiful Peter looks when he is playing in the sea and walking among the ruins.

• The way Lucy holds Peter's hand to show him the way and THE TORCH SCENE GETS ME EVERYTIME.

• Everyone is like where the hell are we and Lucy is just enjoying her apple.

• And again for my own pleasure, I'll mention how beautiful Susan looks.

• “wHiCh cHeSs sEt?” “whOt?” We love a one confused king.

• That shot when they all stand in their places in the ruins and Peter says “Cair Paravel.” I'm like YES SIR I'M READY TO SACRIFICE MY WHOLE LIFE FOR YOU.

• I'm lowkey attracted to General Glozelle. (shameful sniffing)

• I like it that Edmund is the first one to figure out what might have happened to Cair Paravel. And our confused king is again like “whOt?”

• C'mon Peter is very committed to make a torch and it is SO CUTE. And Edmund watching him is so funny, he is like ‘I'm about to end this man's whole career.’

• I'll not tell my thoughts on the time Peter takes his sword. I'm trying to be a good. *choughs*

• Boom! “Drop him!” YOUR QUEEN IS BACK YOU IDIOTS! OOOH HOW I LOVE SUSAN.

• Peter jumping to the water and Lucy using his dagger to cut the ropes.

• “High King Peter, the Magnificent.” I mean if I were magnificent just like him, I'd tell it loud very frequently too.

• Edmund using sword... 10/10 His final pose 20/10. *chefs kiss and sniffing*

• “Or do I have to sit on your head again?” Narnians and humor? Count me in!

• Caspian's accent... YES SIR.

• “I'm Prince Caspian... The tenth.” and “High King Peter, The Magnificent.” are cousins and you can't tell me otherwise.

• “Running away.” Oh just come into my arms you sad and broken boi. *too many sniffings*

• Proffesor inside: Eheheh they are back. You are a dead man now Miraz.

• That underwater shot... 10/10. Peter paddling... 10/10. All of them sitting in silent, sadly... Okay this one hurts A LOT.

• “We didn't mean to leave you know.” *no more sniffing i'm crying*

• Lucy greeting and trusting in a bear is me vs. life. Susan saying a bear to stay away from Lucy is me vs. life again.

• Peter helping Lucy to stand up and her hugging Peter for comfort.

• And that bear scene is very clever to me. It shows that those bad times have an effect on everyone. How even Narnians, kind, gentle, happy Narnians turned into wild creatures because of bad times. Also Susan not killing the bear immediately shows how gentle she is and she always gives a chance.

• “I can hear you.” We love a done™ prince. And him asking questions about Narnia is so cute!

• That zoom to Caspian's face is kiLLING ME.

• AND REEPICHEEP I'd kill and die for him unless he kills and dies for me first.

• CENTAURS ARE BACK!!! Oh I love them so much.

• “You can't carry a map in your heads.” “That's because we have something in them.” LUCY DIDN'T STUTTER.

• “i'M nOt lOst.” My baby tries so hard I love him bye.

• “OH SHUT UP!” is one of my favorite Peter lines. Also he is very sassy and why is no one talking about it?? (I'll talk about it later btw, eheh)

• IF SOMEONE BELIEVED AND LISTENED TO LUCY THE FIRST TIME SHE SPEAKS, THINGS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER AND EASIER FOR ASLAN'S SAKE.

• And Edmund supporting Lucy? We love a supportive and cute brother.

• Caspian is so brave and the speech he gives... *CHEFS KISS* I mean I would fight and die for him too. And when Narnians believe in him, I cry even more. (++Ben Barnes' voice in that accent... Gets me every freaking time).

• The look in Peter's face when he sees the making of the bridge. He is like “Not my kingdom, you bitches!”

• The conversaion between Lucy and Susan... I hate to think their struggles, adjusting to Narnia, adjusting to England.

• Lucy telling a tree to wake up is me vs. life, again.

• The way Peter just comes and hides her out of nowhere... WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE BROTHER.

• When Caspian and Peter fights... Okay, for your safety I'll shut up but the way Peter is ready to hit him with a rock is both funny and shows how a quick and smart fighter he is.

• “PETAH!” Okay Susan, we get it honey.

• “Well if you like, we can come back in a few years.” LIKE WHY IS NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT HIS SASS??

• “You were right to fear the woods.” IS. EXCELLENT.

• Caspian and Peter walking in the front and talking casually. My heart goes *butterlifes* *looove*

• When the papa centaur rises baby centaur's sword... *a loud sniff* .

• I love that there are pictures of Pevensies and Golden Age on the walls. It makes me feel so majestic.

• Caspian: *dramatically lights fire*

• They are looking at The Stone Table and Caspian in the back is like look at the mess you made.

• When Peter and Caspian talk at the same time.

• “There is always a first time.” THAT. SASS. AND CONFIDENCE.

• “We could collect nuts!” “Yes, and throw them at Telmarines!” Reepicheep... Love you babe.

• Okay the whole castle stuff is so freaking cool until the last minutes. Like Edmund and his torch, Susan and THE WAY HE KILLS A MAN BY THROWING AN ARROW.

• But... Caspian babe, kill your bastard uncle anyways.

• And it just should be said: I love how Narnians are always ready to sacrifice themselves because freedom is much more important than their lives. They are not afraid of death as long as it means to get freedom back.

• That poor cat... I don't know what to say.

• You are attacking a castle and your baby Caspian just casually knocks the window.

• Professor doing his best to help Caspian escape and then seeing him back in the castle again... I mean a disappointment level I can relate.

• I wish I could be woken up at night by Caspian, with a sword on my throat? Depends on my mood.

• Miraz being so done is a mood.

• They all are in Miraz's bedroom like:

• Edmund literally headbutts a man wearing a metal helmet. I am speechless.

• You don't have sword? Don't worry you have a torch... just don't break it.

• Reepicheep and his friends pushing that thing makes me cry and scream.

• “Who exactly are you doing this for Peter?” THE LOOK ON PETER'S FACE.

• When Peter screams “FOR NARNIA!”

• My Queen Susan throwing an arrow to man and killing him despite his armour. I. LOVE. ONE. POWERFUL. QUEEN.

• Sometimes I wish I was an minatour.

• Edmund kicking that dude's head by sliding. A simple and powerful move.

• OKAY SO MIRAZ PUSHING THIS MINATOUR IS VERY PERSONAL TO ME. AND I AM VERY PISSED OF.

• And that minatour holding the door. I love you, you strong and scary baby. And I always will.

• When Edmund casually jumps back, I hear Blow Your Mind by Dua Lipa playing.

• That moment when other Narnians are trapped inside and Peter and Susan watch them... MY BABY PETER HAVE HAD ENOUGH PLEASE LET HIM REST. And Edmund seeing the dead bodies...

• That agressive “HEY!” from Caspian and the way Peter and him just scream at each other, idk what to say but it is sort of funny.

• When mama centaur cries, you know I'm dead on the floor.

• King Miraz getting on his throne... Sassy and majestic af. He is a psycho but you know he has taste.

• “What do you want? Congratulations?” Okay Caspian put that sarcasm down babe.

• When my mom watched the scene where The White Witch sort of comes back for the first time, she was like “Not that bitch witch again.”

• The way Peter pushes Caspian is skcjskfsj MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY

• And Edmund killing the wolfish thing is so cool, he is a very talented warrior. Also him stabbing Jadis, he gives like zero fucks.

• And when the ice is broken, they see Aslan on the wall and it is such a strong scene!!

• Can someone please explain me why Miraz and his men wear those freaking helmets?

• “And she won't be alone.” WE. LOVE. ONE. SUPPORTIVE. AND PROTECTIVE. SISTER.

• No, Caspian you may not, no matter how hot you say Miraz.

• Edmund in Miraz's place... Just perfect. That sass, that confidence, that intelligence. THAT look on his face.

• “Your brother's sword is sharper than his pen.” It is an adage in Turkish btw: “A pen is sharper than a sword.”

• “Or hooves.” Lucy, was that joke really necessary honey?

• THE LOVE OF MY LOVE AND MY ONE TRUE LOVE PETER SAYING “WELL, FEEL FREE.” AND “JUST. ONE.” WITH A BRAVE LOOK ON HIS FACE IS THE CAUSE OF MY DEATH.

• Queen Susan standing on her own, holding her bow to hunt men... YES. QUEEN.

• Proud brother™ Edmund.

• The way Peter snarls at Miraz. I mean I WOULD SURRENDER TO HIM.

• AND MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR PRAISING WILLIAM'S ACTING? He fights amazing and his expressions are both beautiful and real. He makes you feel what Peter feels. I just love the way he portrays Peter.

• “Keep smiling.” King Edmund just knows things.

• And the way he just doesn't listen Peter and fixes his arm... 10/10

• When he hits Miraz's wound. He is a smart fighter, and I'll not even bring up how he stabs Miraz.

• “It's not mine to take.” Me inside: *MINE IS YOURS TO TAKE.*

• Caspian just stop screaming and kill this bitch for Aslan's sake.

• “Not one like you.” WITH TEARS ON HIS BEAUTIFUL BLACK EYES. I HATE HIM SOMETIMES.

• Although I hate that they have to fight again, what the Lord did was really smart, I have to admit.

• Have I told you that I hate that ball-throwing-machines?

• Queen Susan telling archers to get ready and Prince Caspian telling “Narnians, attack!” while riding his horse. ALSO WHAT THEY DID WAS SO CLEVER. PETER COUNTING WITH THAT BRAVE FACE.

• My baby Peter fighting again. And Caspian coming out of the underground. *CHEFS KISSES*

• KING EDMUND RIDING A HORSE AND ARROWING PEOPLE?? MORE CHEFS KISSES.

• Reepicheep's tiny armour OMG

• I HATE THAT BALL-THROWING-MACHINES.

• When they all run again (Not to mention Peter has to attack and fight like for like the hundredth time) THEY LOOK FREAKING GOOD AND MAJESTIC AND KING EDMUND CUTTING MEN IS PER.FECT.

• I AM IN STRONG NEED OF HUGHING AN ASLAN.

• THE TREES ARE COMING BACK HELL FREAKING YESSS!!!

• Queen Susan killing with this bows and arrow is just perfect. I love her. Like so much.

• Ooh there is shield wall? Don't worry Narnians will jump on it.

• Peter proudly saying “Lucy,” and looking at Caspian like “Hehe did you expect that?”

• And my baby yells “For Aslan!” and goes to fight. AGAIN.

• Lucy and her dagger? FREAKING DANGEROUS. RUN AWAY.

• Welcome water grandpa, you are very cute!!!

• Aslan is like hehe this is my friend. He is very proud of his friend.

• The guilt on their faces when they see Aslan is so cute.

• “All of you.” SHUT UP YOU MADE ME CRY AGAIN.

• OH AND REEPICHEEP. PLEASE I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH. HE'S HAD ENOUGH.

• Aslan calling him “Small one.” awWWW

• “Do you see him now?” QUEEN LUCY NEVER STUTTERS.

• Okay but the way they all look perfect during the parade. Caspian's crown and Susan's dress are my favs.

• AND THAT LOOK ON SUSAN'S FACE. IT KILLS ME.

• What the hell is Caspian wearing when Telmars go back?

• There is a talking lion in front of them and Telmarines still are amazed by a turning tree.

• Peter looks so good in blue and him giving his sword to Caspian is awwww again.

• Peter and Susan are the ones who'll not come back again and they both wear blue while Lucy and Ed wears green.

• Peter shaking hands with the centaur is an another awwww.

• The kiss makes me feel weird but I'm alright with that.

• “I'm 1300 years older than you.” is CUTE TO ME.

• Peter's proud brother smile. 10/10

• The way Lucy looks back at Aslan breaks my heart.

• THE ENDING KILLS ME. DESTROYS ME. VANISHES MY EXISTENCE. THAT LION ROAR. THAT SONG. OH HOW I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND NARNIA MOVIES... I AM CRYING AGAIN.

oooh okay, thank you for sharing this emotional roller-coaster with me. i hope you enjoy it.

love, andrea.♡

[tobesensation-9]

In need for some Chani smut if possible! Maybe something about how the reader is doing a dance performance with another male idol and they get pretty close which makes Chani jealous which leads to a fluffy smut or intense one doesn't matter to me! I can't wait hehe 🤭

Ooooooo 😉. I really want to deliver for this one. I haven't written a Chani smut so this’ll be fun. For some reason Hyunjin from Stray Kids popped in my head the person you’ll dance with. It seems like he and Chani are friends, I thought it make it interesting. 

“The Way You Moved”  (Chani x Reader)

Genre: Smut, stemmed from jealousy with fluffy

Also I just realised that all the smut I had written didn't display any ways of safe sex. It wasn't specified that you guys aren't engaging in unsafe sex (sex without a form of contraceptive, condoms, birth control). Sorry guys (unless you’re into breeding. I’m so sorry.) Now you know, you guys are always having safe sex, in any of my smuts.

Synopsis: At one of the music shows while promoting some of your new music, you also perform a special stage dancing with Hyunjin to BAEKHYUN’s ‘Ghost’ (song I think is heavily slept on btw.) Chani wishes it was him instead of his friend. 

Chani knew he’d see you today, and he dreaded it. Amidst both of you prepping for your comebacks, you told that you’d performing a stage with Hyunjin. 

“So what are you guys doing for this stage?” 

“We’re going to perform a dance. A duet.”

He gripped his phone tighter while holding it up to his ear. He took a deep breath, he knew how good you were at dancing, this wasn't your first dance performance with someone. But it was Hyunjin, one of his friends, who he knew was really good dancing. But what worried him more was how good he looked while dancing. He had this intensity about him when performing, not being the cutie that he usually was off stage. This made him a feel a bit threatened, but of course, he wouldn't let you know that. He’d act as if it didn't bother him. 

“Ah..okay. I’m sure you’ll great. I’m looking forward to you nailing it.” 

He tried to add some excitement to his voice to you over the phone, but if only you saw his face. 

Now it was day he’d perform with the guys and you would perform your music, as well as do the duet. 

“Did you hear about y/n’s dance?” asks Youngkyun approaching Chani as he’s getting his hair styled. 

“Yeah, I want her to do great but..” 

“Yeah I know. Nothing’s going to happen, its just a dance.” 

That’s what he kept trying to tell himself, but it felt like something more. 

Chani and the guys joined the stage to perform all of them doing the things they did best. Once they exited the stage, Chani saw you dressed, makeup done, having a staff help you in getting your mic ready alongside Hyunjin. When he saw you catch his eye you waved and smiled. He tried his best to not show any signs of jealously and waved back forcing a smile. He was going to continue to walk to their waiting room when you hurried toward him. 

“Hey you guys did good, like always.” 

He looked at you with your makeup and hair styled and was yet again reminded of how pretty you were. He briefly took in your outfit a sparkly multi-colored sequin top a black blazer and his eyes lingered how short your shorts were. 

“Thanks,” he forced a smile, “You aren't cold?” You looked down and knew exactly what he was talking about. “A little, but the dance would over before we know it. That’s what Hyunjin-ssi and I have been saying.” The ‘we’ stung more than he thought it would.

“Hey Chani!” Hyunjin approaches with his famously cute smile. He approached him and made small talk before they had to go on stage, it was his friend after all. 

Soon a staff member would alert you and Hyunjin that you were up on stage very soon. “Okay I’ll se you later,” you turned to see if anyone was looking at the two of you and pecked his cheek before leaving with the staff member. Hyunjin then patted him on the shoulder and smiled, “I’ll take care of her. For you.” 

He pats Chani’s shoulder again before trailing after you to the stage. 

He was still succumbed in the peck you gave him earlier. Thinking about it he instinctively touches his cheek sitting in the chair looking at the backstage monitors. All the guys were ready to watch too, but mostly glanced over at Chani to gauge how he felt.

The stage was dark and immediately lit up when the music started. The two of you move from your starting pose, with you standing, weight on your right foot, with a hand on your hip. With Hyunjin standing with weight on his left gently holding your waist standing right behind you. 

The song doesn't really have any build up or intro so the two of you immediately start dancing. From the moment the two of you started, the moves evoked a bit of sensuousness, with the two of you giving a lot of eye-contact, a lot of touching and a lot of hip-movements. 

Although at the start Chani felt threatened, but now, he astounded by the way you moved your body on the stage. He knew you were good and loved to dance, having danced with you many times, even posting dance covers together. But you never danced like this with him, it made his face feel hot, with a tinge of the jealously still lingering. 

“Wow you guys did amazing!” Taeyang says to you. He also adored your style of dance and sophistication, you know due to his own love for dance. 

“Yeah you did great,” says Inseong patting you on the back. The rest of the members give you accolades on your performance as well. When you look at Chani standing next to you, he’s just staring. When you notice him looking at you he snaps out of it and hugs you. “You did so good”, he says in your ear as he kisses you on the cheek. 

Later that night the rest of you don’t have any schedules, so you have the night to yourselves. You figured you'd spend that time with Chani. Some of the guys go out and some stay behind to rest or do what they want. You and Chani are cuddling in his bed. 

“Something seemed off with you today,” you say as you play in his hair, massaging his scalp. “You think so? I-I was fine. Totally fine.” He fidgets in response to you, trying to keep his deep voice steady. 

“Well Hyunjin told he you seemed a bit on edge. I’m assuming it was because of the dance?” You lean in closer to him, looking at him expectedly. “Ahh. He told you that huh?” 

“I mean it didn't seem like he was wrong.” 

He looks over at you in defeat. “Okay yeah I was jealous. The way you were dressed, to how pretty you looked, to even how you danced. I just wished it was me you were dancing with and not...my friend of all people.” 

You moved to sit on his lap now. “You know, we dance together, literally all the time Chanhee.” 

“I know but, you looked so..sexy. I...didn’t want you to move like that unless you were with me.” 

“So you thought I was sexy? You know I give you lots of sexy all the time when we’re alone,” you start to caress his sides and smile. As you caressed his sides, your fingers would peep under the stitching at the end of his shirt to test the waters to see if he’d let you start undressing him. The heat your fingertips felt when you gently caressed a bit of his exposed abdomen was like no other. 

You can tell he noticed, because he was starting to get flushed and his length starting to feel more prominent under you in his sweatpants. 

“You want to have another moment? I was imagining doing lots of dirty things to you while you danced,” he then reaches up to place his hands on your waist. 

You then start to slowly and gently grind on him, when you do he starts to guide your movements. 

“You were? Show me.” 

At your words he starts to move your hips faster against him. You also feel him gently thrusting up against your heat. The longer the two of you went, the harder he became. The grinding and friction became less gentle and more rough, causing the both of you to moan in rhythm to your motion. 

“You feel so fucking good” he hisses as his hips jerk harder up into you, the firmness of his cock deliciously teasing your opening while simutaneously massaging your clit. 

“Not as good as how you feel.” 

Suddenly Chanhee turns the two of you over on the bed, you beneath him as he starts to pull is shirt off overhead. You start to undress below him, following suit. 

Once you’re completely bare, he dives right into your neck, kisses and nibbling. The sudden movement catches you by surprise, so you moan. 

“I want to hear more of that. Only sounds that I get to hear.” 

His words and deep voice were making you go crazy. “I want you Chani, all of you.” He doesn't make you wait any longer, skipping the rest of the foreplay. Both of you were eager, you wanted to feel nothing but him inside. 

He aligns himself with your heat, and delves in. The both of you moan and he doesn't start slow like he usually does. He salvages you, penetrating you deep and steady, finally able to give in to his pent up desire from the day. 

“Fuck, baby. You’re so deep.” 

“Mmmhmm. That feel good?” 

You can't answer him because of great he’s pleasuring you. Soon you start to feel yourself start to clench around him, singling your orgasm. 

“I-I’m gonna cum.” 

“Go on cum baby.” 

Your moans quickly escalate and the pleasure finally bursts within you, you calling out his name in the process. Soon he finishes after you.

Once he pulls out, the two fo you lay out of breath looking up a the ceiling.

“That.....was so fucking good. You need to jealous more often if this is how you’re gonna be.” 

He pulls your naked body close to him and chuckles. “I had to show you how its done, because I know Hyunjin can't make you feel that good even if he is my friend.” 

[the-cosmic-blogger]

Vin's Master Post 2

Once a human born in 1805 training to be a lawyer, Vin died in Vanessa’s cellar in 1825, barely twenty years old. He became a demon (ghost) who lives in the corrupted Subcon Forest, reluctantly subsisting every now and then on souls and guiding those lost through his forest.

He grew more and more depressed over time, and his hurt was slowly becoming a bitter rage that caused him to lash out at anything that wasn’t his minions or sometimes the dwellers. Eventually, fifty years later, it took hold completely, and Vin, having seen no end to it, chose to revel in it, becoming the “tsundere” he was during the game. It took Hat Kid arriving around 2014ish to change this, to bring out some of his humanity. Now he’s sweet and patient as can be, with deep regrets.

Appearance:

by @lemonykleonella

by @subconniving

with shading, effects and extra details by me

by @xxlunartrapxx

by @karmaluck

Some Facts:

215 years old, but he himself hasn't exactly been keeping track.

he’s pan. Demiromantic pan.

he discovered his hunger for souls twenty minutes into his unlife.

at first subsisted on animal souls, albeit reluctantly

these animals gradually became extinct from Subcon, and he starved

until, however, another person stumbled upon the forest

he had an appetite for sapient souls since

he doesn’t like eating souls, only does it because he needs to.

he wants to stop.

he goes feral if he gets really, really hungry, which is often, but only if souls are near.

has the ability to sense souls, and it automatically kicks in (and often stays active) when incredibly hungry.

like hearts, to him souls make a repeating thudding sound in his head

round pupils turn to slits when feral

can and often will outright eat people when feral

kind and friendly

hates hurting people

suffers from anxiety, PTSD and depression

6 ft tall, but can grow (or shrink!)

can shapeshift, but cannot shift into a human form like his own

a tired, kindly ghost demon at heart

always has dark circles under his eyes, even if they're not noticeable sometimes

a complete dad

likes and makes puns

his appearance is due to most of his humanity returning, and green is directly across from red, which is close to orange, his hair color when human.

eyebrows are white because old

is a father figure and best friend to Alaina and Booky, @mun-auroralore 's OCs.

a friend to all living things, especially children

he absolutely adores children, to the point he might start crying with joy upon seeing babies of any species; there's another reason he'll cry though. His Subcon Forest is devoid of life, so he rarely ever sees babies or children who are, well, alive.

he and Hat Kid are penpals, and sometimes Hat Kid will send him a wayward soul for him to eat. He doesn’t know how she does this though. And is too afraid to ask.

Bow Kid also exists, as Hat Kid's sister, and she finds out about Hat Kid being penpals with Vin later down the line. She also starts sending letters.

has a slight disdain for authority and authoritarianism, due to the fact that most authority in his past were unruly and unjust.

It's why he was so angry at Mu, while still a cruel tsundere at that point in time, despite her being a kid.

He wants to find her and apologize.

and he did!

his tail is sensitive! don’t touch unless it’s expected or you have his permission!

he doesn't do anything violent though, just squeaks like a mouse

he doesn’t necessarily need contracts. He used them because they were a reminder of what he once had.

he desperately wants things in Subcon to go back to how they used to be, but knows it's impossible.

he secretly and constantly craves an experience that's similar to how things used to be, when everyone was alive, but knows it'll never truly be his own.

above all, he wants to be human again, even if that means he dies permanently.*

he has some holes in his memory, such as not knowing what happened for a part of his forest to burn eternally and his very early childhood. He barely even remembers his former name.

he was gifted a tablet from Hat Kid that he barely uses.

is insanely rich due to Vanessa flooding him with Pons when he was alive.

freezing temperatures throw him out of whatever body he might be possessing, and cause his mind to relive the cellar experience.

chains, when they're on him for trapping reasons, and being unable to move are also triggers.

due to an incident in Gamble Galaxy, he doesn't like people touching his back. Friends and found family are exempt. Though it may fade over time because he's a cuddle bug by nature.

absolutely loves warmth, hugs and cuddles

is the type to just lie in clothes or sheets straight from the dryer

don't be surprised to find a relatively small, fluffy purple noodle in your sheets or clothes; he's harmless. :3

he does have and can generate his own body heat.

is into fashion and often wears clothing. Main: pink jacket, white top hat or green and pink hoodie.

his elbows, wrists and shoulders are fluffy

can sew

is like a big, friendly cat

licks wounds

loves food, especially bacon and pancakes

he has a keen sense of smell, sight and hearing.

is a big eater

was not a prince, but a prodigal commoner

*He cares about Hat Kid, Alaina and Booky, and several other things and people, but he doesn't care what happens to himself. As long as they're there for him, he won't figure out ways to essentially kill himself off.

If he were based in Undertale, his SOUL traits would at first be Guidance, then Despair, then Hate, and then Kindness and Patience, and then Guidance once more.

----------------

Human Facts:

by @karmaluck

Vincent Hildin (Hill-den)

born May 7th, 1805

was a prodigy

was a big eater

voiceclaim [Owl House Spoilers maybe?]

had the verbal tic “kid/kiddo” since 12

wore patchy, casual clothes

rescued and owned a bush cat he named Rough Patch

parents were concerned about his "problematic" behavior (feminine side, fatherly nature, the "kid/kiddo" tic, liking to draw, etc). 

ultimately because he wanted to keep Rough Patch and had an argument with them at 15, they made him move out to Subcon, washing their hands of him.

noticed by Vanessa at 17 when he finally visited the manor’s grounds for a weekly feast her mother, Queen Victoria, threw

almost quit law due to an extremely unfair crime trial, involving a kid, in which he was accidentally thrown into and assigned as defense.

had a small breathing issue

died at 19, barely 20

---------------

Ferality

by @fizzysquish

Highly primal and animalistic, he can only think about consuming souls in this state, and has much more heightened senses, which says a lot. If he goes hungry or starves himself for too long, he'll enter ferality until either he eats a soul or two (or three!) or if the person or people he's after escapes him and he's unable to sense them anymore. Also, badly hurting him or mentioning Hat Kid will bring him back to his senses for a while.

Sometimes though, he can fight it off, but usually not for long.

Other Images:

by @snailpaint

by @cave-of-nightmares

----------

Writings:

The Cellar

Never Asked For This

Change

Hunger (TW Mild Gore)

Apologies and Fulfilled Wishes

Vin's Timeline

All of these, save for Vin’s Timeline, are now on AO3! enjoy!

-------------

His Themes (YouTube Playlist)

-------------

>>OLD MASTERPOST<<

>>VINCY’S MASTERPOST<<

-------------

He also has an ask blog! go ask him questions! :3

If y'all wanna know more about him, send in asks or send me questions on Discord; DM me for my tag. :3

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: the lure of coffee machine burns and demanding customers proved too strong? Jimmy: Your gratitude at getting another smoothie an' all Janis: you found out I was a big tipper? Janis: grapevine getting oddly specific and vaguely complimentary Jimmy: Your boyfriend never said nowt, awkward and 💔 Janis: which one Janis: have to put him on the 'really, never again' list Jimmy: the one who works here but ain't me Jimmy: Pete Janis: so that's his name Janis: cute Janis: well he can't go on that list so I take it back Jimmy: Or I'm lying Jimmy: but I reckon I'd give him a better name if I were Janis: exactly Janis: one every lad has like Jimmy: what every lad don't have is a 🎸 and a band attached Jimmy: he's WELL unique 💕 Janis: OMG Janis: makes so much sense why you're 💘 Jimmy: I ain't 😳 it's the steam, alright Janis: 😂 Janis: If I was a nicer friend I'd be made up for yous Janis: obviously I've learnt from the best and I'll covertly hit that behind your back, sabotaging you every step of the way Jimmy: We mates now? 🎉🎊🕺 Janis: the best 💕 Janis: thought 💔 you ain't 💔 about the friendzoning, obvs Jimmy: I'm made up for us Janis: 😏 good Jimmy: you'll be well about having a gay BFF Janis: ikr Janis: as if they didn't have enough reasons to be jealous of me Janis: ultimate accessory Jimmy: I am gonna ask him to move in though so if you could piss off before the end of our shift Jimmy: Tah, babes Janis: how could you Janis: genuinely did not see this coming Jimmy: when you know you know, girl 💕 Jimmy: soz you didn't Janis: I know lots of things Janis: like his name and passion so tah, dickhead 🏆💘 Jimmy: @petechambers is what you need to know Janis: why you being so helpful Jimmy: he reckons you're my girlfriend, how far do you reckon you're gonna get Janis: reckons you're my boyfriend, by that logic Janis: looks like we're both fucked Jimmy: I don't fuck in the workplace, I told you Jimmy: only customers 👴👵💕 Janis: fucking hell don't say that Janis: not just their spidey senses tingling, eurgh Jimmy: 💀👑 and her #squad ain't here yet Jimmy: can say what I like Janis: 'course not, it's before noon Janis: and as long as your manager don't hear you, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 he won't hear me 😴 in the back either Janis: you must be dead Janis: all the freebie espresso shots today Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: should've let you call in for me Janis: dangerously close to admitting I had a good idea Jimmy: only the one Janis: one more than you had you poor 😴 fool Jimmy: You sleep alright? The 🐕 was being a right little twat when I had to go Janis: like I'd been drugged Janis: not accusing you Janis: just don't usually sleep that deep Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: the barman was a bit Jimmy: could accuse him Janis: who am I to turn my nose up at free drugs Jimmy: 👮🚔 undercover me, remember Jimmy: might wanna hit delete on that Janis: listen, you've definitely crossed some boundaries yourself, idc how deep your cover is Janis: you keep it 🤐 and so will I Jimmy: Oh it's really deep like my 💕 baby Janis: 😂 Janis: yep, you're definitely 45 Jimmy: were warned Janis: didn't say I didn't like it 😍 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: #whenshelikestherealyou Janis: just can't help but be goals, me and you Jimmy: tough job but I've already got a piss easy one Jimmy: I'd be bored to 😭😭😭 or 💀💀💀 Janis: so welcome, babe 💕 Janis: shame you can't be bored to 💤💤💤 rn though Jimmy: earnt myself a burn for cheeking everyone's manager 🙏 @god soz, like Janis: 🌩 Janis: he'll get ya Jimmy: bit late for the warning, Jenna but tah Janis: got off pretty light Janis: it could've been genocide, he's a big fan Jimmy: tell it to all the fans who want pics of me touching you up Jimmy: ain't gonna be goals for a bit, that Janis: bad enough you can 🏥 Jimmy: still got skin ✔ Jimmy: makes it a no go Janis: 😔 baby Jimmy: will to live ✖ Jimmy: least I've got you 💕 Janis: you poor, poor boy Janis: and your fave customers ain't there either, what's the rest of the crowd looking like? Jimmy: 👪 and 👫 Jimmy: be why I'm in such a romantic mood Janis: so inspiring, yeah Jimmy: nowt as inspiring as you obvs Janis: how many paracetamol did you pop Janis: very peace and love rn, you Jimmy: might be talking in my 💤 Janis: in that case Janis: let me hold you to everything you say Janis: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: did you/any of yous get a chance to walk this dog Janis: it's being batshit Jimmy: I let it out but unless Cass is up and about now Janis: If she is she's being as quiet as I am Janis: no worries, I'll take it for a run Jimmy: hang on, I'll text her Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Alright, boot the door in for us Janis: you what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: 👮🚔 tactics, mate Janis: not gonna marry your da, remember Janis: no stepmum here Jimmy: well he chucks her 💰 for walking that 🐕 you're gonna at least wanna take that off her Janis: I guess I could let the dog in her room Janis: just blame you or the kid Jimmy: I did it earlier, dunno how it got back out Janis: clever girl Jimmy: 👻🐕 Janis: awh Janis: if I could draw for shit I would Jimmy: Have a go Jimmy: there's loads of shit in my room Janis: feeling #inspirational as well as #inspired, mate? Jimmy: you feeling 🥇 or 🙀? Janis: how do you know I ain't got plans Jimmy: Come on, I'll do it too, let 👻🐕 decide which is better Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: Crack on then, loser Janis: fuck off Janis: I never claimed I was good at art, 🎨 hoe Jimmy: Getting the excuses in already Jimmy: should've just backed out from the challenge, babe Janis: you should get to work Janis: doodling or your actual, like Jimmy: I'm doing both Janis: get you Jimmy: 🏆🥇👑 Janis: ⭐⭐⭐ for your name badge Jimmy: It says Jamie right now so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: doesn't suit you Jimmy: only been working here ages Jimmy: don't put yourselves out Janis: your names not actually James then? Janis: least they're in the ballpark Jimmy: Bollocks would it be, Ian'd reckon that too la-de-da Janis: fair, can't imagine that either Jimmy: and anyway we're all y or ie except him 'cause ❄ can't get ideas above ourselves Janis: don't stop every cunt I know giving their kids genuinely mental names though so Jimmy: I've wrote some mad ones on ☕ Janis: ooh #whenhescreativetho Jimmy: his new missus better fall in like my mum did Jimmy: fucked yourself you Janis: I mean, I'd change it but what to Ian, you've got the vision, like Jimmy: @ him Janis: from his house, that'd be hilariously psycho stalker Jimmy: he'd be 😍😍 so don't actually Janis: alright, in your bed not his Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: Get up dickhead there's 🎨 to make Janis: 🙄 alright, on it Janis: ruin the fantasy with your details, why don't you Jimmy: ruin your lie in with my jealousy of it, tah Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: are you concentrating that hard? Jimmy: you need to if you wanna beat me Jimmy: doing you that favour Janis: so kind 🖕 Janis: so considerate 😒 Jimmy: I know 💕 Janis: [hit him with a cartoon of ghost Twix doing a phantom shit in Ian's shoes] Jimmy: [one of those recorded texts things of him loling] Janis: is that a lol of approval? Jimmy: 'course Janis: good, 'cos I tried Jimmy: yours is better than mine Jimmy: glad I ain't the judge Janis: rub it in pedigree, like Janis: she likes you better, maybe a walk would swing it Jimmy: she don't like that I only let her out in the garden for a bit Jimmy: so if you're gonna cheat Jimmy: would be 🥇 cheating Janis: from the professional himself 💕 Janis: leave a note, so your sister don't reckon it's been dognapped Jimmy: 🖕 and 👌 Janis: love you too Jimmy: [sends her his picture of ghost him walking ghost twix and Janis in a ghostbusters outfit getting him with the vacuum thing cos Twix is her true love but someone's spilt coffee on it rudely] Janis: fuck off Janis: that's actually sick Janis: can't even be that mad Jimmy: you ain't judging it either and ☕ ain't a treat she's 😍 for Janis: take the compliment, boy Jimmy: I'm too tired Janis: doesn't anyone at your work have a decent coke habit Janis: inconsiderate, that Jimmy: what kind of rock and roll god are you, Pete? fuck's sake Jimmy: 😱💔 Janis: if he's straight-edge Janis: have him Janis: won't be lectured by some 🤓 however cute Jimmy: from his feed I'd say 60/40 that he is Jimmy: gutted pisshead Janis: actually devastated Janis: please give me time to grieve Jimmy: me an' all, gonna have to rely on you and only you to get me through this shift Janis: I haven't got any on me either, you know Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: he does 🚬 though actually, I've seen him Janis: 😻😻😻 Janis: oh thank god Janis: not ready to let that dream die tbh Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: you don't understand Jimmy: Have you even looked at his profile? 60/40 that bird's his girlfriend an' all Janis: idk what that's gotta do with me Jimmy: she's got better tits than you Jimmy: I don't reckon you'd win if you challenged her Janis: well I know I would but tah Jimmy: You ain't his type Janis: omg you don't know that Jimmy: try some heavy eye make up and a band t-shirt Jimmy: might 👀 at you then Janis: can't argue with good looking Janis: whatever you think you're into Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's with the negging Jimmy: What you want me to big you up? Got that covered ain't you Janis: nah Janis: but shouldn't affect you that I know my worth, should it Jimmy: it don't Jimmy: nowt you do affects me Janis: then stop chatting shit like that to me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: no or what about it I won't fucking talk to you Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't got time for you, my best customers are here Janis: lol really Jimmy: [a pic of them gals, chin chin] Janis: 🤢 Janis: if I never saw that face again, it'd be too soon Jimmy: [resends it with faces scribbled out] Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Janis: time for a stock check, probs Jimmy: time to post something about you more like Jimmy: [does about how much he misses her and how hard it was to leave her there asleep this AM etc] Janis: you trying to kill 'em? Janis: 'cos good job, honestly Janis: they'll at least have heart palpatations at that Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: could do better but this ain't a topless kinda place Janis: we're all 💔 about that Janis: should've taken some creeper shots whilst you were sleeping, my bad Jimmy: such an amateur you Janis: had other things on my mind, happens Janis: my reply will be extra slushy, how's that Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: obvs but yay or nay dickhead Jimmy: where are you? Janis: park opposite yours Janis: why Jimmy: do you look like you belong in a park opposite mine? Janis: fuck you, I'm clean Jimmy: I'm saying make yourself look like you just got out of my bed and get over here Janis: alright then Janis: but that counts as one of my debts paid, definitely Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: er yeah it does Jimmy: How is this a favour to me? Jimmy: They're chatting shit about you Janis: when ain't they Janis: I don't ever need to be in the same room as my sister, tah Jimmy: Stay at the park then Janis: make up your mind Janis: I said I'll do it Jimmy: Not doing this for my health Jimmy: they ain't wrong in thinking I look like shit and if you were any kind of nurse you wouldn't have let me go nowhere Janis: marry 'em then Jimmy: I don't wanna marry you why would I wanna marry them? Jimmy: Also how? In what sequence 'cause can only be one at a time Janis: 'cos clearly you trust in their ability to look after you based on this snippet of overheard convo, idiot Janis: none of them have had a boyfriend longer than 3 weeks, no time to get a fucking cold, nevermind get over it Janis: don't count, they're a hivemind Janis: cut off Mia's head, they all die Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how can they possibly have anything to talk about Janis: not seen any of them in days Jimmy: You've been online, nowt else they need Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: I'll throw a drink over Mia she'll melt, game over Jimmy: if she ever orders owt Janis: some sweet as Janis: that hot sweet vom will coat her mouth on the way out, enjoy that for hours Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: you'll make me vom Janis: such a baby Jimmy: Piss off Janis: you ain't cleaned up worse in the CG bathroom, no Jimmy: don't mean I loved every minute of it Jimmy: or that I wanna relive it right now with you Janis: k, just tryna kill the mood, baby Janis: calm you down Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: lighten up, me they're chatting shit about Jimmy: and it weren't me who invited her here Jimmy: stop being a knobhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: shut up Janis: what's actually wrong with you Jimmy: I don't wanna talk to you if you're gonna take the piss Jimmy: nowt wrong with that Janis: when did I Jimmy: This job is crap and I don't wanna do it but I ain't got rich parents Jimmy: so yeah, I have to clean up after dickheads all day Jimmy: and they get to say whatever they want to me while I'm doing it Janis: it's you who's assumed my parents are minted, you ain't once asked me about 'em and I ain't told you Janis: how far do you reckon 2 paychecks goes for 12 people, but nah, whatever, they got more than some Janis: but not so much that I'll never have to work a day in my life so don't come for me like I think I'm too good to clean a toilet or some shit Jimmy: Don't get at me when it's them you wanna Jimmy: we're supposed to be in this together Janis: I weren't getting at you Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Alright Janis: it clearly ain't but I weren't so I'm not apologizing for some shit you only think I said Jimmy: and I'm not starting something with you 'cause they're annoying Jimmy: So alright Janis: Fine Janis: that we can agree on so we'll just leave it yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: the 🐕 with you? Janis: yeah Janis: taking her back Jimmy: do me a favour and leave her there Janis: weren't planning on bringing her if I do come through Jimmy: I mean at the park to get actually dognapped Janis: well don't take it on on the dog either Jimmy: I didn't like her long before 💀👑 were on my radar Janis: ain't her fault Jimmy: is Janis: she's only a puppy Jimmy: cute enough to get snatched then Janis: i'm not getting rid of your dog for you Janis: do it properly if you're going to Jimmy: just trying to get rid of that IOU for you Janis: sure Jimmy: You're really scared to owe me one, you Janis: scared and not wanting to are not the same thing Jimmy: that'll be why I said what I said Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off, what's there to be scared of Jimmy: You tell me Jimmy: What do you reckon I'm gonna do? Janis: shut up Jimmy: Easy, I'm faking I lost my voice either 'cause I'm 🤢 dying or 💀💀💀 from how well you nursed me Jimmy: theirs to keep guessing about Janis: ours to prove easy enough Janis: if we wanna Jimmy: Do you? Janis: I mean Janis: obviously I don't care but also Janis: why should they just get to go around being cunts all the time Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I also get that you badly miss Mr Lucas, babe but I ain't drank enough coffee for you to pretend I'm him 💔 Janis: 🤢 okay but don't Jimmy: I could take a few more shots before you get here but I might Jimmy: don't actually like it Janis: it's rank Janis: fuck the rest, being around the smell all day would be shit enough Jimmy: hang on, I'm gonna wipe off the chalk board outside and write that Janis: 😂 Jimmy: so inspiring baby 💕 Janis: if we could thin the crowd at all be ideal Janis: don't need the 👪👫s seeing this Jimmy: some of them did leg it pretty quick when Mia walked in Jimmy: not gonna want your kids or your fella seeing that Janis: honestly, meant to learn about death through a hamster, not your local 💀👑 Jimmy: well early in the day to try and teach them to spell anorexia Janis: thank god for spellcheck, eh babe? Jimmy: didn't have it when I communicated with her via napkin note but I think I managed Jimmy: will do if I don't think about what she'll do with it after Janis: basically sold your soul to the devil Janis: couldn't wait 5 minutes for me to get there Jimmy: already 👻 nowt she can do to me Jimmy: only come to life for you Janis: can't decide if 💕 or 🤤 that Jimmy: why not both? Janis: 😍 #whenhesthefullpackage Jimmy: give me everything you've got then Janis: you've changed your tune Jimmy: I've not Jimmy: been saying 🥇 or nowt since the start Janis: last night Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Janis: both had a few by then, not to mention knackered Jimmy: Go on Janis: well you said don't give you anything Jimmy: it ain't for me, it's for them Janis: yeah, I know Jimmy: So no need to hold back Janis: wouldn't be much point coming otherwise Jimmy: I've gotta be fake mute, you've gotta be fake loud Janis: really Jimmy: We can't both be 🔇 Janis: Jesus Janis: why are you being mute again anyway Jimmy: I lost my voice 'cause you're the best at bringing someone back from the brink of 💀💀💀 Janis: 'course I am Janis: well don't put me off, I have a plan Jimmy: I just had to let you know loudly and repeatedly even if it cost me this #goals accent Janis: sounds about right 😏 Jimmy: Obviously, I thought of it Janis: I mean, it's believeable for you but alright Jimmy: A boy can dream 💕 Janis: dream no longer Janis: [post up hoe] Jimmy: [get ready lads and I don't just mean you gals] Janis: [least she'd always have her gym shit on her so can still have that moment] Jimmy: [yeah that's forever legit, and thank god he looks good in his uniform too or that'd be awkward like she's bringing it and he's blah] Janis: [when you're gonna have to just go for this lads] Jimmy: [he's gonna get a bollocking from his manager regardless we all know it, him most of all so nothing to lose] Janis: [when you come at him like 'I just missed you so much' loud/close enough that it's heard but you're already wrapping yourself around him] Jimmy: [when you have to be fake mute so it's all 😍 but it does mean you can just pull her even closer to you how he likes to do and go IN on kissing any part of her that'll get the best reaction, from her and the audience] Janis: [letting that happen for way longer than you need to before redirecting his mouth to yours so you can be loud without it being really indecent] Jimmy: [I feel like as much as they think they can read each other from all the make out seshs they've had he should've done something in that bit then that surprised him with how much she liked it even if they are pretending it's fake and he told her to be extra] Janis: [agreed like as much as it's all real it would be like the shock when they first kissed and she weren't bored so 100%] Jimmy: [just gonna put her on the counter for that mood and moment soz customers but like we're putting on a show here, not getting in trouble without making it worth it] Janis: [when you say his name and it's half 'cos you wanna half like are you sure] Jimmy: [when as much as you're pretending you've forgotten where you are you also have because so much pent up everything] Janis: ['come home with me' do you mean it or no we'll never know] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Mia's head exploding so get her down but onto the staff side with you so you can keep this going as you make your way towards the back like you're gonna continue this there/leave that way] Janis: [heheheheh] Jimmy: [obvs gonna keep kissing out there for a sec 'for realism' and in case anyone follows you like um what the fuck Jimmy are you leaving or wut not cos you wanna and you couldn't be closer and you haven't stopped since you started even when you were also moving, oh no never for that reason] Janis: [literal like in no world did they need this entire display also how you gonna stop, least his manager can come through to make that happen] Jimmy: [just like ahem #awkward because you know they wouldn't have stopped when he first appeared cos too into it so it's like EXCUSE YOU] Janis: [how shaming if either of you could care] Jimmy: [HOORAY for not feeling shame because yeah Jimothy you're gonna have to sit with him now and get told off looking that poor manager in the eye] Janis: [honestly you'd wanna die if you weren't so highkey distracted] Jimmy: [wait until Ian hears about this, he'll want you to die too] Janis: [nooooooooo] Jimmy: [no wonder he don't like Janis, no offense babe we know his actual reasons ain't that but] Janis: [she does get him fired we all know] Jimmy: [thank god he gets another job cos can you imagine if he couldn't they were all like no thanks you saucy bastard] Janis: [whoops, have to leave forreal] Jimmy: [how the hell are we gonna kick off a 'normal' convo between them after that MY GOD] Janis: how much trouble you in Jimmy: Not enough that I care Janis: good, not looking to + my IOUs that hard Janis: worked though, yeah Jimmy: How many stories has Mia posted? Janis: [screenshot of the longest line of stories ever but she's only on the first one 'cos not watching] Janis: more detailed than 24 hour news Jimmy: I get that I ain't the focus on her obsession, but get my angles, fuck's sake Janis: 💔 Janis: be more blatant, girl Jimmy: This plays like the Love Actually wedding video Janis: 😂 Janis: Keira should've told her husband to sort his friend, honestly Jimmy: I'm waiting for my full crop and her floating bobble head where mine were Janis: literally gonna haunt my nightmares, thanks Jimmy: Soz, I ain't seen her commit that edit yet if that helps Jimmy: we all know you can afford the software girl, sort it out Janis: no time if she wants to break the story Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it wouldn't take long if she knew what she was doing Jimmy: could've asked me Janis: we all know now she's not arsed about you Janis: sorry, dear Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: brb jumping off the roof Janis: could you wait a bit Janis: so it doesn't look like an immediate reaction to me Jimmy: gimme something better to do then Janis: well, I was sure you'd be sent home Janis: dunno how you managed that, jammy git Jimmy: #effortless Janis: must be Jimmy: 😎 Janis: sure you've got loads of invites in your DMs then, boy Jimmy: Yeah but Janis: but what Jimmy: I don't fancy it, do I Janis: still up to me and me alone then, is it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: okay Janis: see what I can do Jimmy: a full day's work won't 💀💀💀 you, rich girl Jimmy: promise Janis: my sister might beat you to it anyway Jimmy: she can try 🏆💪 we've got a pact and I called it ages ago Janis: can argue that one with her, if you like Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have lost my voice going for it with Ian, not fazed by hers Janis: it's pretty grating tbh but you know Janis: nothing worse than the way she types Jimmy: Oi, there's nowt as annoying or loud as me Janis: don't need to lie to make you feel good about yourself Jimmy: Good Jimmy: a lie wouldn't Janis: and you're a cocky little shit without my help so Jimmy: with your help an' all though Janis: works for me Jimmy: I know Janis: what does that even mean 😏 Jimmy: What do you reckon it means? Jimmy: It means I know Janis: that definitely means you're chatting shit then Jimmy: If saying that I am works for you, babe Janis: 😑 taking the piss now Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: do what you've gotta do Janis: so fucking cryptic Jimmy: 🧩 me Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: OMG, smoking is NOT a personality trait Jimmy: I'm keeping you updated Jimmy: like a good boyfriend Jimmy: my whereabouts, what I'm up to etc Janis: subtle hint Janis: Mia teach you before she went? Jimmy: I weren't in the room as she 👀 it, remember Janis: on another 🪐 Jimmy: where you and her 😍💕💋💋 Janis: not funny, you Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: You gonna give me your update like a good girlfriend then or what? Janis: actually going gym Janis: as I've got the gear on, makes sense Jimmy: 💪🏆 gotta keep it goals babe Jimmy: one day I'll have to show you how it's really done, like Janis: 😂 Janis: ok, that was funny Janis: you've redeemed yourself, welldone Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you're scared I'll make you look a right tit Janis: mhmm Janis: scared I'll be overcome by how manly you are and all Jimmy: no need to be at the gym for that, mate Janis: just how you live your life Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you dope Jimmy: taking that as a compliment 😎 Jimmy: as only a 45 year old bloke can Janis: oh yeah, how's your 💘 after that Jimmy: I ain't about to have a heart attack, you're alright Jimmy: one lung but there ain't nowt wrong with the rest of my organs Janis: good to know Janis: though my case to sue you is definitely more viable anyway Jimmy: 💰💰 talks and you've got more of it to chat bollocks about me with Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: You loved it, I've got enough witnesses Janis: very unreliable Janis: they all hate me Jimmy: I will an' all if you drag me to court Jimmy: ain't got a suit or owt and I ain't buying one for you unless we 💍 Janis: fake marriage is too far, we agreed Janis: though would LOVE to ask them all to be my bridesmaids so I could dress them in the ugliest shit and watch the meltdowns ensue Jimmy: Go on, all marriages are fake any road Janis: just string out the engagment and planning then blow that shit up on the day Janis: s'a proper finale Jimmy: knew you'd get it 💕 Janis: suck on that pregnant amie Janis: steal your ✨ Jimmy: if she'd left it at that she might not be 🤰 Janis: don't make me laugh Jimmy: why? not enough cardio for you or? Janis: 'cos I'll look mental and not the new image I'm going for, tah Jimmy: Fine, I'll make you 😳 Janis: you can try Jimmy: [sends her a pic of all those epic love bites she did cos they'd look WILD the next day like] Janis: they look pretty Janis: very artsy Jimmy: proper Georgia O’Keeffe you Janis: 😒 I know she was the vag obsessed one, twat Jimmy: 'Course you do Janis: shut up Janis: not a moron Janis: or a lesbian Jimmy: Don't need to tell me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: Baby Janis: such a windup, you Janis: gotta have finished your 🚬 by now Jimmy: ain't that 👴 Jimmy: giving it my best go with my oxygen on Janis: cute Jimmy: So you want 75 not 45? Alright Janis: your type, not mine Janis: a fucked 45 is fine Jimmy: OUR type, babe, and I'm gonna find him Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 💕 Janis: stop being a goals fella and go do your job whilst you still got it Jimmy: that is my job Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: making me miss you and that Janis: if you don't you'll make me look bad Jimmy: couldn't obvs Janis: yeah her 😍 know no bounds, fair Jimmy: Oi, mine an' all Janis: awh, you jealous Jimmy: Of her? Jimmy: Yeah she's well close to 💀💀💀 and all I can do is wait Jimmy: 🚬💔🎻☕ Jimmy: #friendzonedbythegrimreaper Janis: always the bridesmaid, her Janis: you know you're 🥈 to my 🥇, baby Jimmy: you on the 🥊? Jimmy: that backhander really hit 😵😵😵 Janis: [selfie like pow pow] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [flirty posts and shit to keep it 'safe' haha] Janis: [as if anyone is doubting you rn, they seen enough lmao] Janis: you go this hard with your actual missus, like Jimmy: You've got her attention, be easy enough to go on and ask Janis: seriously Jimmy: What you reckon all that carry on at the CG dont matter to anyone but 👑💀? Janis: well idk do I Janis: why would I Jimmy: Talk of this town and the north Janis: at least any beatdowns will only be 📱 Janis: unless she likes you that much still she'll get on a plane or ferry, like Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: what outcome are you crossing your fingers for there Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: jussayin Janis: not fake fighting for you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not agreed to that level of soap drama Jimmy: where you draw the line that? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I mean Janis: not pregnant rn is she? Janis: fair game Jimmy: I should've opened with asking Jimmy: bit late now Janis: yeah, gonna look weird now Janis: subtlety is not your strong suit Jimmy: It's alright, it ain't hers either Janis: 👍 Jimmy: But I reckon if her hubby had it in him to put it in her since the last 🤰 she wouldn't be in my DMs Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: never know Janis: pregnancy makes you mental Jimmy: Yeah Janis: later then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [later] Janis: did kayleigh f invite you to her party too Jimmy: I dunno, did she? Janis: not your secretary Janis: check your dms Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: I ain't seeing her, have to crash 👮🚔 Janis: why am I so popular, damn Jimmy: gay icon Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: you actually want to go or Jimmy: Do you? Janis: idk Janis: ain't got nothing else on Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: hmm Janis: not sure what her identifier is, but she's alright, does sports science and shit too Jimmy: The party'll be alright an' all then Janis: doubt the squad'll be there so improvement on the last Jimmy: works for me Janis: if you're allowed, like Janis: ⛔ Jimmy: She gonna stop me at the door? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: nah Janis: guestlist can't be that exclusive if an invite found me Janis: not like we're bffs is it Jimmy: I'll go over the fence to be safe, leave a window open for me or whatever Janis: such a show-off Jimmy: You love a show, Juliet Janis: hm Janis: keep your feet on the ground, yeah Jimmy: Bit late for that 👻 Janis: 👏 alright, got me there Jimmy: right where I want you, babe 🎯💘 Janis: yeah, and where's that? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: gotta get those hourly updates Janis: could be ANYWHERE Jimmy: could be lost Jimmy: Where's this lass live? Janis: good question Janis: oh, like 10 minute walk from yours Janis: [the deets] Janis: easy Jimmy: might get there before my 👮🚔 co-workers then Janis: well i'll be ages Janis: and not 'cos i wanna be fashionably late Janis: so see you there Jimmy: I get it, looking proper #goals takes you longer than it does me 😎 Janis: 🙄 Janis: more like my gaff is in the middle of fucking nowhere and I ain't there rn but I can't go like this Jimmy: Where are you? Gotta be near 🛍 Jimmy: do your thing, rich girl Janis: who am I Jimmy: No idea, who are you? Janis: not a bitch who's gonna get new clothes for a party Jimmy: Alright, you can wear mine, stop begging Janis: however could I pull off such a 😎 look Janis: I daren't Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: never up for a challenge or owt Janis: what's challenging about your style Janis: been same since 1956 Jimmy: You pulling it off, so you said Jimmy: 🤷 if you can't, you can't Jimmy: see you when I see you Janis: and you lost your ability to detect sarcasm, alright Jimmy: might never have had it, how would you know? Janis: giving you benefit of the doubt that you ain't a total idiot but alright Janis: maybe not Jimmy: giving me what's dangerously close to a real compliment an' all there Jimmy: thank fuck you took it back before things got weird Janis: don't sound like me Jimmy: might not be Jimmy: can't 👀 or 👂 you Janis: yeah it's your biggest fan surprise Jimmy: that dickhead Jill is my biggest fan Jimmy: why I'm fake dating her Janis: get lost Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: Probably will in a bit Jimmy: dry your eyes til then Janis: have you got a problem, like Janis: your sense of direction is for shit Jimmy: It's how they keep northerners in the north, mate Jimmy: ain't even allowed to leave in a ⚰ Jimmy: but 🤞 they bury you right way up Janis: you mean you don't want god to kiss your ass? Janis: seems like something you'd be about Jimmy: He ain't really my type Jimmy: 👴 maybe but a bit of a knobhead Jimmy: and there's the not being real Jimmy: got a fake girlfriend already tah Janis: one to talk 👻 boy Janis: that's just a third of his personality and it's your whole schtick Janis: jealous, clearly Jimmy: You reckon I'm jealous of everyone I ain't Jimmy: getting a bit awkward now Janis: is it Janis: sensitive and all Janis: n'awh Jimmy: I get it, you're that in the dark Jimmy: hang on, I'll put my 📸 on Jimmy: sort you out Janis: about what Jimmy: It's no bother, dark corners can be very #goals Jimmy: just don't 🙀🙀🙀 Jimmy: know what you're like, Jasmine Janis: cats ain't afraid of the dark, boy Jimmy: You don't play by the rules, girl Jimmy: or do you now? Janis: how much do you think has changed in one afternoon? Jimmy: Been a bit since I last had an #update from you Jimmy: could be owt or nowt Janis: ain't the only one capable of mystery, like Jimmy: Good Jimmy: this party'll be shit if I am Janis: what do you reckon you can get away with when you're my plus 1 Jimmy: my name ain't down but I'm still coming in Jimmy: do owt else I want once I manage that Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you know what I'm saying Jimmy: Make up your mind, am I stupid or what? Janis: you're being it if you reckon you can get with someone when I'm at the same party Jimmy: I never said that's what I reckoned Jimmy: I get that you're new to it, but there's more than one way to be mysterious Janis: everything is always about sex, end of Jimmy: For you paddys maybe Janis: pretty sure it's universal but alright Janis: whatever Jimmy: Are you? Janis: am I..? Jimmy: Are you so sure I wanna fuck some girl at this party even though I've been doing all this bollocks to stay single Jimmy: well done Jimmy: You've cracked it, like Janis: 1. single doesn't mean abstinent Janis: 2. why do you say stupid shit that sounds a certain way then get pissed when I take you at said dumb fucking thing you said Janis: 3. i don't care who you do or don't fuck but if that's what you wanna do, probably don't have me there for it Jimmy: I'd ask why you take everything the wrong way but that's obviously what you wanna do Janis: just say you're talking bollocks if that's what you're doing Janis: but also take it somewhere else 'cos I don't need it Jimmy: It ain't but go on and piss off yourself if you like Janis: First good idea you've had Jimmy: Take it then Janis: do what I like, thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: and I got invited so how about you don't come Jimmy: You said it yourself, no way you're getting there 1st Janis: fuck you Janis: you don't even know her Jimmy: I don't know anyone Jimmy: race you 😘 Janis: poor you Jimmy: Lucky me Jimmy: Poor you Janis: don't need your sympathy fake or otherwise Jimmy: Fake or not, you ain't having it Janis: 💔 Janis: oh no Jimmy: Ill play the 🎻s when I'm on the clock if it's alright with you Janis: I don't care what you do as long as it's not at this party Jimmy: 💔💔😭 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: You finished? Janis: with this convo Janis: why not Janis: with you in general Janis: sadly no Jimmy: Tah for the detailed update Janis: what you asked for Jimmy: 💕 Janis: hope you find your way back home at some point Jimmy: can't stay pissed off at me you Janis: if you leave, sure Janis: your standards are that low Jimmy: Don't worry, staying aint part of my plan Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [we should skip to this party which he obviously gets to first, damn you Cali and your postcode] Janis: [this is such a bad idea like always] Jimmy: [living for it] Janis: [just showing up and avoiding your boyf like hmm okay lmao] Jimmy: [at least he's avoiding everyone anyway cos antisocial bastard so makes it less obvious that he's even there] Janis: [at some point y'all are both gonna end up at the drinks so] Jimmy: [we know that is where he's forever at getting drunk (great idea boy) unless he's outside 🚬 so easy done] Janis: [i die just like sup] Jimmy: [so will he when he sees her serving a look] Janis: [at least you can 'pretend' you've had a domestic, be that couple for the night but still, probably acknowledge each other's existence 'found your way then'] Jimmy: [believable that you could have cos nobody else needs to know he don't give a fuck about his manager or getting in trouble and everyone would be talking about earlier still. He shrugs because always. 'without your help or owt, almost like I dont need you'] Janis: ['well let me know when it stops being almost and I can get on with my shit, yeah? taking a can/bottle/whatever and walking away like good talk] Jimmy: [5ever watching her walk away] Janis: [why are you two here, being such delights lollollol] Jimmy: [Im gonna say he is playing drinking games because peeps have been trying to get him too since he got there cos of that new boy shine honey and theyve worn him down cos hard to resist a challenge or a drink] Janis: 🏆💪 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: even when you lose, it's a win Jimmy: 🥇 or 🤢 Janis: not if you can handle your drink Jimmy: they can't, soz to piss on your expectations Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🍀💔 Janis: tunes can't get much more morbid Jimmy: change them then Janis: won't change the crowd but yeah maybe Jimmy: You've handled worse Janis: don't be so hard on yourself Jimmy: Why would I, got you for that Janis: come on Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: never off the clock on that one, you Janis: ain't personal Janis: don't get to feeling special for it, like Jimmy: 👌 Janis: anyway, you give it back so don't act like you're 😢 Jimmy: I ain't acting tonight, tah though Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: try not to need a 🚬 for the next 5 k Janis: [goes out, obvs] Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good, don't need your death on my conscience Jimmy: I know 😇 you Jimmy: be alright Janis: not likely Jimmy: What do you want me to say to that? Janis: say what you want, you ain't acting Jimmy: fucked if I wanna say nowt Jimmy: already done mute to 💀💀💀 today Jimmy: and I gotta stay alive for a bit Janis: so that's my fault, yeah Jimmy: Nah Janis: it's not my fault people won't get off your dick because you're the new boy Jimmy: never said it were Janis: you treat me like it is Jimmy: and you treat me like what? Janis: how am I meant to treat you Jimmy: how am I meant to treat you Janis: I don't fucking know Janis: you're this weird kid who just asked me to do this crazy scheme with him and I'm the idiot who said yes, I guess Janis: but I don't think you knew what you were asking any more than I knew what I was going along with Jimmy: Stop it then Janis: why should it be me Janis: and why is that all you have to say Jimmy: Why shouldn't it be you, that were the plan Jimmy: and why would I say owt else when that's where this is going Janis: a plan you changed Janis: and acting like you have no stakes in whether it ends now or not makes it make even less sense Jimmy: Change it back Jimmy: not acting, remember Janis: then tell the fucking truth Jimmy: I fucking did Janis: what's the point Janis: alright Jimmy: There ain't any, that's what we're both saying Janis: least not one we're happy to admit to Jimmy: You're so Janis: we're gonna go for this again Janis: didn't work last time but go on Jimmy: Piss off Janis: why can't you say it Jimmy: this is fucking stupid Janis: yeah no shit Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: why did you come Jimmy: Why did you? Janis: to see if you would Janis: probably get drunk Jimmy: There you go then Janis: no you can't steal my answer Janis: then you'll just say you never actually said it and it's just bullshit to hide behind Jimmy: I'm here, that's my answer Jimmy: it weren't cause I desperately wanted shots to do to a shit soundtrack Janis: okay Janis: then go Jimmy: is it? Janis: if that's the only reason you're here Jimmy: I came here for you, you twat Jimmy: but alright, I'll go for you then Janis: don't just Janis: why is it like pulling teeth Jimmy: fuck you Janis: why Jimmy: I didn't sign on for this Jimmy: I can't just Janis: you think I did Jimmy: no Janis: you are literally the only other person who can get it and also the one fucking person who won't talk about it Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Jimmy: that this is Jimmy: or that I Janis: that it's not just Janis: fuck Jimmy: You know it's not Jimmy: every dickhead knows it's not Janis: I can't be Janis: I don't wanna be what we've pretended Janis: I ain't but Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: you know Jimmy: I wanna know Jimmy: come here Janis: where are you Jimmy: on the stairs Janis: [comes in Jimmy: [the eye contact bitch] Janis: [when that's all you're doing 'cos you suddenly can't move like] Jimmy: [deer in the headlights moment but dont worry babe hes gonna move and pull you SO close to him that you will die] Janis: [least that would kickstart you into being very clear with what you want] Jimmy: [likewise cos once you do start it's just like a not at all casual free for all of everything you both want] Janis: [heaven help anyone tryna use them stairs like excuse me] Jimmy: [you better find another way peeps because they cannot be tamed rn] Janis: [breaking away to be like 'we can just try it, right?'] Jimmy: [just nodding because if he speaks hes gonna say too much and none of us are ready] Janis: ['no phones, no fans'] Jimmy: [throws his phone to one side dramatically because that bitch] Janis: [when you lol but are also genuinely like 😍 so we back at it] Jimmy: [Its a good thing the squad arent here cos they would know he aint mute LOL so much so you have to stop for a sec and once you do 'when I said I wanted to leave some shit to mystery, this is what I meant. All I meant. For a night, none of the usual bollocks. Just me and you'] Janis: [nods 'I believe you. All the rest just had me in a bad mood. I mean I always am but when-' shakes head 'doesn't matter now'] Jimmy: [moves her hair out of her face after she's shaken her head because #shameless need to always touch it okay and just looking at her like you can tell me cos she can 'go on'] Janis: [bites lip but in an actual nervous way not a saucy one though you know same effect 'I was just fed up with all the things getting in the way of...this, as was, so then when you mentioned your ex- like I don't care if you get back with her but it's why I was so' shrugs like you know] Jimmy: ['I want you to care about me getting back with her more than I'd ever wanna really get back with her' when you just blurt that out nbd quietly but still boy are you drunk enough to be chatting like that, excuse you] Janis: [when you're just looking at him like did I hear that right or am I also that gone and going so red, mumbling 'you know I do'] Jimmy: [nodding in the direction of up the stairs 'let's go up, there's too many dickheads can see us' because its awks and also no fans is meant to be the point] Janis: [yeah probably do find some privacy] Jimmy: [probably the room of this poor girl that didnt even invite him] Janis: like excuse me madam you did not ask for this at least they didn't have a blazing row and ruin your whole ass party] Jimmy: [him shutting the door but then just standing against the back of it like UM cos his turn to freeze, boy this is why you dont speak, going too hard when you do] Janis: [least she's not like we MUST talk now 'cos also the pressing matter of actually being able to make out and not film it or cater to a crowd] Jimmy: [omg just being able to do what you legit wanna] Janis: [a mood, let's hope this girl's room ain't too distracting, have to be going some like] Jimmy: [I vote for a double bed because they deserve that] Janis: [the luxury, get on that boys] Jimmy: [actually having some space in all the ways, imagine] Janis: [not that he's about it or her tbh we know] Jimmy: [but at least you wont fall out if you move guys] Janis: [are we gonna cockblock this before it can go all the way] Jimmy: [probably should cos the way we did their first time before was pretty swag from what I remember, not saying this wouldnt still be but] Janis: [agree though, and easily done like get out me room] Jimmy: [yeah and you can still get pretty far before then we dont need to be that mean] Janis: [things can happen honey] Jimmy: [theyd have to because you cant tell me they wouldnt take the opportunity to touch each other in all the ways you cant upload anywhere or let happen with an audience, shameless as you are, and therefore have had no excuse to do]] Janis: [truly 'cos how bad you would've rather been doing this and she'd be telling him as much] Jimmy: [he would blatantly tell her that too but dying too much so you will have to decode it from the eye contact and other sounds he is giving you instead babe] Janis: [when that's such a mood and I highly doubt how Harry was lol] Jimmy: [ugh god no, he's such a twat] Janis: [defs not thinking about that rn like whomst] Jimmy: [they are gonna be FUMING when they get kicked out of this room cos never enough when youve been waiting and holding back for any length of time] Janis: [literally like opened the floodgates honey this hasn't solved anything but we getting there bless] Jimmy: [you thought you two were frustrated af before hahaha] Janis: [gotta give a reason why they can't just go home together tho, actually] Jimmy: [ooh maybe they do but Ians heard about the CG antics so he kicks off when he hears them come back, lowkey waiting for that fight like] Janis: [that's a good idea also brb wanna die] Jimmy: [at least she can go to Mcvickers when he has to kick her out cos not far Janis: [not that Ian cares, dangerous frankly sir] Jimmy: [honestly she could get murdered you slag] Janis: [giving some time for them to argue but not that much 'cos highkey] Janis: you alright Jimmy: You? Janis: yeah 'course Janis: sorry I got you in shit Jimmy: You've done nowt wrong Janis: probably debatable that Jimmy: alright gimme chance to stop with this bellend and I'll debate it with you Janis: let you focus on that one 🥇 Jimmy: harder work than a latte him Janis: savage Janis: hope you hit him with that burn Janis: oh, forgot about yours Jimmy: I can do better than that me 🥇 Jimmy: oh shit, me an' all Jimmy: ✋ didn't fall off though, must be alright Janis: 🤞 or I've really fucked it with Ian Janis: no one wants a one-handed babysitter, even if he's live-in Jimmy: wouldn't be very goals for a boyfriend either Jimmy: I'd make it work but like a fake hand is going a bit far Janis: pretty macho Janis: pretend you lost it in a 🦈 attack Jimmy: can only be a duel, Juliet, come on Janis: damn, you right Janis: don't have a cousin who's in love with me though Janis: hope I don't, anyway, awkward to find out like this Jimmy: be fun round the Easter table Jimmy: 💔 I don't have any cousins Janis: Poor boy Janis: idk if he was related to that first bitch anyway so there's still hope Jimmy: I'd only be stuck looking after them too, ain't that 💔 or 💰 broke Janis: fair Janis: more trouble than they're worth in all areas Jimmy: got enough on with this dickhead dad Janis: yeah Janis: liked it better when he weren't there, tbh Jimmy: #same Jimmy: 🙏 for us when you're done making sure my hand stays on Janis: add it to the list Janis: hard work but a 😇 gotta do it Jimmy: good 'cause I wanna touch you again Janis: yeah? Jimmy: and 🤖 💕 not what I were necessarily thinking Janis: 😏 Janis: leave the vibrator at home okay Jimmy: hang on, can't turn down extra limbs if I've already lost one Janis: make up your 🧠 Jimmy: Oi, I'm thinking of you here Janis: so the considerate thing weren't an act, interesting Jimmy: shut up Janis: so cute 💕 Jimmy: I just Janis: it's alright, only pissing about Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: promise it is Janis: not an opportunist mugger Jimmy: 👴💕 Jimmy: want me so bad they're willing to do owt now Janis: bit rude to use me as collateral Jimmy: they might not have that long to live, be fair Janis: so that means I've gotta wait Janis: 😒 Jimmy: we've got a pact you ain't dying without me Jimmy: and not til you couldn't 💕 me more Janis: alright Janis: what's one more day Jimmy: only gonna feel like a slow 💀💀💀 Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: mean Jimmy: Baby Janis: don't Janis: I miss you but I actually mean it Jimmy: I Jimmy: where are you? I'll get myself there then Janis: don't get into more trouble or never actually see you again Janis: real starcrossed shit Jimmy: 👻💕 Jimmy: You reckon I've got into enough for you? I don't Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I can handle so much more, girl Janis: you can't come here Janis: let me think of something Jimmy: Alright Janis: okay, if I can get us a car, don't ask where it's from, yeah Jimmy: not actually a 👮🚔 babe Janis: good, 'cos my rep really can't handle that Jimmy: the rep I gave you can handle anything I also wanna give you Jimmy: including my dad's 🚗🔑 Janis: yeah? Janis: 'cos I got one for tonight, less likely to miss it than mr 😡 rn Jimmy: Less of a fuck you an' all but you're right Janis: don't need any more interruptions Janis: actual 🚨s included Jimmy: actual crashes too 'cause I'm a shit driver anyway Jimmy: not how I wanna kill you Janis: not how I'm planning on going out either Janis: I'm alright, and we need to be in the middle of nowhere so Janis: come to this address Janis: [mcvickers house soz i'm stealing your car lads] Jimmy: [should we let him go or not though?] Janis: [that's the real questions and I'm fine with it going either way at this point tbh, Ian would probably be being highkey but that could mean forcing him to stay in or kicking him out so you decide] Jimmy: [yeah exactly either is plausible as is her getting caught by Mcvickers so 🤔🤔🤔] Janis: [oh, might be good to burn that bridge for a bit so then she simply has to stay at his 'cos can never be home] Jimmy: [omg true lets do that then] Janis: [triggering everyone with your illegal driving like your sister ain't die] Jimmy: [its the only way Tess would be angry enough to be like get out tbh so real] Janis: [a new boy for you to hate in your old age god bless] Jimmy: [why not its been a while lol] Jimmy: ? Janis: fucking Janis: i'm Janis: you should go Jimmy: tell me you're alright or I'm going nowhere Janis: i am Janis: i mean i'm beyond fucked off but par for the course Jimmy: 👌 Janis: this is so stupid Jimmy: par for the course that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you have no idea 🙄 Janis: the ample opportunity we've had up until we actually need it takes the piss Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: same but Janis: don't mention it Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: exactly Janis: sincerity is scary, boy Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: be fucked if you weren't fit, Janet Janis: shut up Jimmy: you wanted insincere, mate Janis: no middleground, no Jimmy: very 🥉 thinking that Janis: go away Janis: don't have time for 2 arguments Jimmy: me either Janis: 🤐 or 😴 Jimmy: Alright Janis: any chance of your dad forgetting what I look like any time soon Jimmy: We were barely in the door Janis: not like he knows my name if you don't so 🤞 Jimmy: Gonna have to change it for him anyway, remember Jimmy: no ie ending no 💍 Janis: just a place to crash again is fine Jimmy: Julie's basically it any road Jimmy: won't miss the odd letter, will you Janis: my actual has 2 letters in common but yeah Janis: whatever works Jimmy: 🌹 whatever you're called, like #obvs Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not necessary tonight so give him time to get over it Janis: just you keep 😍 #obvs Jimmy: soon as I can get back in, I'll let you Janis: where are you gonna go Jimmy: It'll be morning in a bit and then I'll go work Janis: I am sorry Janis: make it up to you Janis: but there's no chance she's turning this car around to pick you up Jimmy: he don't need an excuse to be a prick Jimmy: and Ill survive a shift without my name badge Janis: still, he got one Janis: I left a blanket and shit at the park near yours last time, strapped under the ramp but it's usually gone if I leave it too long so Janis: but Jamie's the best 💔 Jimmy: that's like saying I deserve this, fuck that Jimmy: Jamie might Janis: nah Janis: you know what I meant Janis: and Jamie was into it okay, I'll have a word Jimmy: don't go near him, I don't trust that dickhead 😏 Janis: I'll try but Janis: hard to stay away Jimmy: I'll have a word then Jimmy: he's too 😍😍😍 for you if you ask me Janis: what's it to ya Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: just looking out for you, mate Janis: cheers 😏 Jimmy: You coming to the CG before your wanted posters go up then? Janis: once I've been delivered home for my 2nd bollocking Janis: not planning on sticking around Jimmy: I'm opening up for the rest of the hols as my manager's idea of mine Jimmy: tell them to get it over with and you can stick around here Janis: alright Janis: see you after my great escape then 🤞 Janis: you opening alone or you got your bff with Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the lass with the extensions? Yeah Tony ain't thought that through Janis: as if I've had 👀 for anyone but Pete, you fool Jimmy: What kind of rumoured lesbian are you? Jimmy: sort yourself out Janis: don't sound like my type Janis: fake? no thanks Jimmy: I mean, she ain't 💀👑 so I get you don't want the competition over tits Janis: fuck off Jimmy: her hair'll still fall out if you pull it, you can make that similarity with Mia work Janis: 😑 Janis: so unfunny Janis: good thing you're fit Jimmy: and I've got 😎 + 🚬 for my personality traits Janis: don't do it for me but sure Jimmy: that sounds dead fake but alright Janis: how does that sound like anything I've ever faked Janis: check your socials, there's way more 😍💕😘 Jimmy: I'd love to obvs but it ain't tomorrow yet Jimmy: and tonight we said none of that bollocks Janis: right Janis: how are we gonna do the fake shit though Janis: going forward Janis: still business as usual or 💀 Jimmy: Is that your way of saying you wanna fake break up to secretly date me or what? Janis: no Janis: idk Janis: is it gonna be weird Janis: weirder Jimmy: always were weird Janis: well yeah Janis: note that -er Jimmy: I don't see how it'll be owt different to faking shit when I didn't like you Janis: alright Janis: why not Janis: not not working Jimmy: we can just see how it goes Jimmy: play it by 👂 if you can leave me one 🧛 girl Janis: no promises 👻 boy Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you sure you want me coming in Jimmy: You don't wanna? Janis: I wanna see you Janis: you see my point Jimmy: I'll see if I can ban them all Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I mean Janis: gotta win your manager back 'round somehow Janis: order all the lattes you can, gals Jimmy: come and splash your own cash, rich girl Jimmy: won't need them then Janis: you want me to 💩 myself Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: proper kink for me that Janis: save it for the 3rd date Jimmy: you asking me out? Janis: depends Janis: you asking me to shit on you Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: You gonna be 💔 if I don't? Janis: obvs Janis: lifelong ambition Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: owt to please you I said Janis: is it the next day already 💕 Jimmy: If you want Janis: sounds like some good ole fashioned fake shit, is all Janis: but fair, can't hear over the 📢 coming at me rn Jimmy: You know me and habits Janis: honestly Janis: can't let it go eh Jimmy: wouldn't wanna scare you, easy done that Janis: 🖕 Janis: not that dependent on it, funnily enough Jimmy: 👌 Janis: the fans, that's another story of 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: let 'em down gently, babe Jimmy: what kind of bad boy Janis: the fake kind Jimmy: 🤞 the cancer risk is an' all Janis: should be vaping soft lad Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I know that's what you really want from me, babe Jimmy: but you'll have to find a lad who likes you enough to look that much of a twat Janis: then you don't know what I really want from you Jimmy: You gonna change your mind in a bit? Janis: if you're asking if I'll want a 🚬 after, don't be tight Janis: can spare me one Jimmy: Don't be a dickhead, whenever you've asked you've had Janis: and they say romance is dead Janis: not met you Jimmy: Tweet it tomorrow, like Janis: thought we'd started Janis: overachiever Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'owt to please you I said' you kicking us off Jimmy: Nah, it'd be fake if I said I didn't wanna when you know I do Janis: how long is your lunch and when Jimmy: I dunno when but I know it ain't long enough Janis: is that a humblebrag or actual though Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: 😒 Jimmy: What? Janis: not at you Janis: just the rest Janis: gonna go on a long fucking run Janis: nice knowing you if I end up in a different town, start again Jimmy: Alright Janis: got to wait for everyone else to fuck off Janis: ridiculous Jimmy: Swap places with me then Janis: alright Janis: get me a nametag, like Jimmy: Which one do you want on it? Janis: surprise me Janis: I'm method Jimmy: Yeah, love a surprise you Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: what you talking about Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't 😏 at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I don't know but don't be mean Janis: won't come and see you Janis: 💔 that Jimmy: you Jimmy: that's meaner than owt I've said Janis: I know Janis: don't play around, me Jimmy: 😭😭 me Janis: baby Jimmy: How drunk am I? Janis: if anyone asks, we ain't Janis: but probably a fair bit Janis: beer pong champ Jimmy: easy to get 🥇 when you ain't playing, pisshead Janis: dangerously close to a compliment Jimmy: Take it Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: should've just stayed on the stairs Janis: that's what we shoulda done Jimmy: We'd have been interrupted quicker doing what we were if we had Janis: probably Janis: don't reckon any of the party-goers would be as committed to the cockblock though Jimmy: Bit late to test your theory now Jimmy: have to be next time Janis: promise Jimmy: Do you or do I? Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: you Janis: that there's gonna be a next time Janis: proper one, real Jimmy: Come on Janis: say it Janis: wanna hear it Janis: and have it in writing Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: have that in writing Janis: what you pussying out for Jimmy: I already said I don't want you in and out on my lunch break Janis: fine Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: ain't forcing you to say nothing Janis: i don't care if you know i want you though, so have it Jimmy: Tonight you don't Janis: what Jimmy: You heard Janis: yeah and that's bollocks Janis: i'm not saying i'm in love with you or any of that fake shit, i'm saying i wanna fuck you Janis: have for ages so Jimmy: and I'm saying don't take the piss out of me 'cause I don't immediately say owt that I ain't been allowed to before now Janis: um i weren't Jimmy: Whatever Janis: i fucking weren't Janis: god forget it Jimmy: like that's easy an' all Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: so Janis: whatever it is, I'm sure I know Jimmy: 'Course you do Jimmy: know everything you Janis: yep Janis: that too Jimmy: Biggest fucking head in all of Dublin Janis: tell me it's unwarranted Jimmy: You make me feel like a massive idiot, that's what I'm telling you Janis: not what i set out to do Janis: and don't think you are, for the record but what do you want Jimmy: What do you want? Jimmy: nowt I say or don't is working for you Janis: I don't know, alright Jimmy: Dangerously close to the truth so probably not alright, is it? Janis: like you do Janis: now who's taking the piss Jimmy: Like I don't know what? What I want? Jimmy: that is a pisstake yeah Janis: well how would I know Janis: don't say shit Jimmy: 1. you do know Jimmy: 2. yeah I do Janis: whatever Jimmy: I'm not good with words that don't mean I'm not saying owt to you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: alright let's just Janis: it's been a long weird night Janis: we can leave it Jimmy: So now you want me to shut up? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I didn't say that, dickhead Janis: like I said, not trying to force you to say anything, that's not what I'm about Jimmy: I'm not thick, I know what leave it out means Janis: Jesus Janis: I'm trying to be nice for once Jimmy: Clearly not gonna work, that Janis: 👍 Janis: thanks Jimmy: Save it, better at faking that bit you Janis: fuck you then Jimmy: not unless your 2nd attempt at kicking a car is better than the 1st Janis: ha Janis: don't count on it Jimmy: I obviously can't Jimmy: but I were well aware you can't do owt right the first time so don't worry Janis: at least I get there in the end Janis: you did fuck all, as per Jimmy: Get where? Jimmy: you're nowhere same as I am Janis: not for long Jimmy: Impressive Janis: don't care what you reckon Jimmy: Make up your mind Janis: never have Jimmy: I know, you don't have any idea what you want, you said Janis: don't flatter yourself Janis: that's only about you and you don't feature in the big picture do you Jimmy: Why would I bother? Plenty of other dickheads to flatter me, including you earlier Janis: so? Janis: why do you reckon I'm gonna be embarrassed Jimmy: Why do you care what I reckon even as you're saying you don't? Janis: because it's worth a laugh Janis: it's just sex, plenty of people want you, plenty want me, who cares Jimmy: My entire reason for doing this is that I care about how wants me and doesn't Jimmy: who* Jimmy: and you'd throw me to them if you didn't Jimmy: So stop talking bollocks Janis: it ain't Janis: it's not that simple Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: You either give a shit or you don't Jimmy: and you either want me or you don't Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: and when you have just say it Janis: I said I do want you Janis: I literally said it and you rejected it outta hand Janis: just because I was trying to say how much of a headfuck it is because what's real and what's fake and what parts are both Jimmy: You also said that after you've had a go I can basically fucking vanish 'cause who cares Jimmy: loads of others Janis: I didn't say it like that Janis: or mean it like Janis: it's just weird alright Jimmy: You're weird Jimmy: I don't get you Janis: no kidding Janis: what would you rather, I was like them Jimmy: #obvs Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's the point in pretending Jimmy: Depends Janis: to get dickheads to leave you alone aside #obvs Jimmy: How shit is it gonna be to break the habit? Janis: shit Janis: nothing to say we can't stick at it 'til you're old news Jimmy: isn't there? Jimmy: I reckon owt's been said and done Janis: then it won't be hard to break the habit if that's what you think Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Fuck pretending then Janis: fuck pretending Jimmy: Don't be scared of me Jimmy: you can say or do owt you want Janis: why do you think I'm scared Janis: of you or anything Jimmy: because Janis: what, because I'm angry all the time Jimmy: because recognition Jimmy: I am, I know you are Janis: why are you scared Jimmy: Why is the why important? Janis: Deflection's easier, yeah Jimmy: 💔 then Janis: well you don't need to worry about that Jimmy: Yeah I do Janis: in general, yeah Janis: but not with me Jimmy: You think you're never gonna hurt me? Jimmy: wearing enough bruises for you already, aren't I? Janis: that weren't me, don't count Jimmy: cheat Janis: nah Janis: just saying, not my sport Janis: 💔 Janis: got no interested in breaking yours Jimmy: flattered, like Jimmy: but that's what every lass says Janis: so Janis: not every girl is me, been discussed Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: not like I know you, been discussed an all Janis: up to you if you wanna find out then Janis: but the idea you think I've got the time or energy to dedicate to that is insulting Jimmy: I get it, I ain't special, no need to go on about it Jimmy: heard you at bigger picture Janis: nothing personal Janis: no one is Jimmy: nowt is with you Jimmy: but you don't reckon I should be on my guard Jimmy: very suspect that Janis: you worried about being collateral, duck Janis: just saying, not gonna make it my life's mission to fuck you up Jimmy: and I'm saying you want me to tell you things, put myself out there when it don't mean owt to you Jimmy: how's that fair Janis: I never asked you to bare your soul to me Janis: I asked you to say you wanted to fuck me as well Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I did say that Jimmy: if that were all you wanted to hear you wouldn't call owt a headfuck Janis: I know you're vague on purpose Janis: that's why I asked you to say it, so it couldn't be taken back and said it was never said Janis: that's the headfuck Janis: all the previous shit can be wrote off as fake and neither of us can argue otherwise even if we wanna Jimmy: But if it's just sex which means fuck all to you or to me then why do you care what I say or don't after? Jimmy: that's why I don't get you Janis: same reason we started this Janis: everyone gets to talk shit on me Janis: not having it taken as gospel 'cos you put your dick inside me thanks Jimmy: I weren't about to screenshot and tweet out this convo once I did Janis: you're the only one that can be on his guard Janis: nah Jimmy: I'm the only fucker admitting that I am Jimmy: If you reckon I'm like that, like them, why would you even wanna do any of it? Janis: never said I reckoned that Jimmy: You think I'm gonna talk shit about you Janis: you could Janis: do it to my face plenty so why wouldn't you Jimmy: because I do it to your face Jimmy: go no reason to go anywhere else with it Janis: flattered, like Jimmy: just Janis: there's no way to guarantee any of this shit so we may as well agree to trust Janis: or not trust Janis: either or Jimmy: been worked out that we don't Janis: then it's settled Jimmy: is it? Janis: like I said, what we gonna do Janis: make a blood oath Jimmy: left my dagger up north, soz Jules Janis: then it definitely is Janis: letdown Jimmy: I'll delete my profiles then Jimmy: avoid you til school starts Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: Oh alright, what kind of fake break up do you want? Janis: have you been listening Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Have you? Janis: shut up, that's literally so far from the point of anything we were just talking about Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: go to hell Janis: seriously Jimmy: Tah for the holiday recommendation but the CG's only place I'm off to for a bit Jimmy: close but no 🚬 Janis: good, I hope you suffer Jimmy: 🤞 and 🙏 Janis: no need, you miserable prick Jimmy: not totally clueless then Janis: you wish Jimmy: I do wish you would catch onto a few, yeah Janis: heard you at avoid you til school starts, don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're an absolute cunt Janis: why would you get me to say it again just to Jimmy: Go on Janis: and all that bullshit about being scared about getting hurt too Janis: what the fuck Jimmy: Yeah, all of this is utter bollocks Jimmy: what the fuck is right though Jimmy: what the fuck else do you expect me to do? Janis: how the fuck do you take me REPEATEDLY telling you that I want you as 'I'm going to ignore you from now on, bye' Janis: literally are we having the same conversation Jimmy: How can you think telling me repeatedly what a low fucking opinion of me you've got of me is gonna put me in a 😍 mood? Jimmy: Or that this is a good idea when we don't trust each other Janis: where Jimmy: You want this to mean nowt and now there's nowt to worry about Janis: I never said I have a low opinion of you Janis: and you don't give a shit about what I want so don't even pretend for the bit Jimmy: how do you take me REPEATEDLY asking you what you want as not caring about the answer? Janis: when you do the opposite Janis: how else can I take that Jimmy: like I said, what else can I do? Janis: not what I want, apparently Janis: alright Jimmy: I really fucking like you, alright Janis: we don't even know each other, how many times have you said that Jimmy: not enough obviously Jimmy: if it didn't make any difference Janis: but Janis: why Jimmy: Why are you asking me like its my fault? Janis: not fault but I do everything Janis: did everything so this doesn't happen Jimmy: It might be fake Jimmy: a headfuck like you said Jimmy: everything just Janis: you think so Janis: yeah you liked fake me Janis: you don't like me, you say it all the time Jimmy: that'd make more sense Jimmy: but tonight was real and I liked that too Janis: this is a mess Janis: i am Janis: you shouldn't get involved just 'cos I wanna Jimmy: but it weren't one sided Jimmy: everything we did earlier I wanted to do it Jimmy: and everything we still haven't Janis: it'd be easier if we hated each other Janis: its okay if I like you but you shouldn't like me Jimmy: just do me a favour alright Janis: what Jimmy: keep being real with me so I can work it out Janis: i don't want to hurt you Janis: i don't know or care how i put it before but i don't Jimmy: I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: might be that tonight's a fluke, I'm drunk and you're fit, not gonna not be into it Jimmy: you Janis: alright Janis: then it's a deal Jimmy: What? Janis: I'll keep being real Janis: like you asked Jimmy: Promise Janis: promise Jimmy: Alright, I swear I'm sorry Janis: what for Janis: not saying there's so much you gotta be specific but Jimmy: Making this weird Jimmy: weirder Janis: weren't one-sided either Janis: it's what it is Jimmy: Will you still Janis: come see you? Jimmy: Do you still wanna? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Okay Janis: besides, someone needs to make sure you don't die on the job Janis: bring you some caffeine that doesn't taste like shit Jimmy: and deny Ian the pleasure of doing me in? What kind of son would I be Janis: so your dads a real dick yeah Jimmy: you were warned Janis: we need to pimp out your shed so you got a place to sleep Janis: I was thinking Jimmy: the trampoline's alright, like you said Jimmy: can't remember how you did but you liked it Janis: when it's warm-ish out, yeah Janis: was comfy Janis: you or that dog woke me up though Jimmy: It's always warm out compared to Manchester Jimmy: why I need my 😎 Jimmy: and everything is always the 🐕 never me Janis: take your word for it on both of those Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I get why you reckon it'd be easier for us to hate each other but I hate Ian and nowt is for it Janis: yeah Janis: you're right Janis: there's nothing easy about hate it's just Janis: more familiar, idk Jimmy: the 💔 is different Janis: right Janis: if you already hate them, then it's not as shit, yeah Jimmy: At least you don't love me, it's even shitter when it's both together Janis: yeah Janis: headfuck doesn't begin to cover it Jimmy: @ my mum if she still used her profiles Janis: you don't know? Jimmy: She ain't logged in for years, why do you reckon I'm so tempted Janis: can't blame her Jimmy: who could compete with Iantaylor8 for online presence Jimmy: other than us Janis: well exactly Janis: also be a bit rude to deny the world your face Jimmy: yours Jimmy: so I'll keep my 📷 one Jimmy: maybe Janis: as long as you don't avoid me too Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: then don't Janis: I don't want you to either Jimmy: tell me again tomorrow Jimmy: when I'm less Janis: gotcha Jimmy: it just hurts more now Janis: i'm sorry Janis: do you want me to come? i don't have to Jimmy: you didn't do this Janis: what do you need, let's start there Jimmy: Now? Janis: yeah, now Jimmy: Tomorrow Jimmy: it needs to be tomorrow so I can see you Janis: baby Janis: you can see me today, it's alright Janis: I'll help you at work, it'll all be good Jimmy: I'm not letting you serve lattes to any of those dickheads Jimmy: you're too good Janis: shh Janis: i wanna help you somehow, i've gotta Jimmy: Do you wanna just 💀💀💀 them? Jimmy: me and you Janis: killing spree then a death pact is a solid chain of events but probably want to start in a better state, don't we Janis: 💪🥇 Jimmy: can be an utterly new pact if there's enough poison to go round Jimmy: you don't have to die at the end Janis: what about you? Jimmy: Did you forget? 👻 Jimmy: already am Janis: how could I Janis: is your manager actually in today? what if we contact that Pete kid see if he'll cover for you Janis: you should get some proper sleep, in an actual bed Janis: I can persuade him Jimmy: OMG you wanna use me to slide into his DMs Janis: boy, focus Janis: not really the sexiest approach, please do some overtime for my boyfriend Jimmy: 👀 on your 😍 girl Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: you gonna answer any of that or Jimmy: I don't know if my manager is supposed to be in Jimmy: probably won't be either way though Jimmy: Oh the money, power and the glory Janis: you can but dream, yeah Janis: well it's up to you then Janis: but it'd probably be worse if you were in and in this state so what he don't know Janis: can't get you sacked Jimmy: I don't have any other place to go though, do I Janis: won't he be at work by now himself? Janis: can come back to mine if not, no funny business Jimmy: he's not the one I care about Janis: your brother and sister? Jimmy: I'm not gonna wake her up to let me in Jimmy: or let him see me like Janis: right, okay Janis: we'll sort you out first Jimmy: Didn't reckon all that fake nursing training you had would really come in handy, eh? Jimmy: can't help being goals Janis: bit of an extreme length to go to for some TLC but I'll allow it Janis: I'm on my way now so just hold on, yeah Jimmy: I mean, it's fairly standard for me but alright Janis: how you pull all the birds is it Jimmy: Babe, I'm just SUCH a lad, yeah? Jimmy: get drunk, have a scrap, nick my dad's scotch and get MORE drunk Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: gotta be done Janis: I get it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: fit right in on this bus Jimmy: don't get 💀💀💀 after we've changed the story in favour of your survival Jimmy: bit rude Janis: try my best Janis: don't victim blame me Janis: please and thanks Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: blaming you for nowt Jimmy: 😂 bit soon? Janis: hmm, don't get cheeky, like Janis: just 'cos you're a patient today Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: just a bit then Janis: trying to be nice Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: I won't be cheeky enough that you kick me out of bed Janis: you're always nice, babe Janis: little ray of sunshine Jimmy: anyone can be nice Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🌩🌪 Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: You know when you're a kid and you count Jimmy: that's what it's like waiting to see you Janis: you're gonna make me Janis: forget to be professional Jimmy: not on the clock til you get here, it's alright Janis: I'm mostly worried about when I do get there, like Janis: not that I'm about to give the bus a show Jimmy: don't worry I'll take care of you too Jimmy: we're a team Janis: yeah, we are Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're alright, you know Janis: you know I think you're alright Jimmy: I will be when you show up Janis: such a smoothtalker, honestly Jimmy: I know you didn't think all that were fake Jimmy: come on Janis: there's only so far you can get with no inspiration, yeah Jimmy: good thing you're 🎨 or we'd have been exposed as frauds ages ago Janis: we're a pretty good team, all things considered Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: yep Janis: shame you can't put relationships on CVs Jimmy: I can't pay you owt either 💔 Janis: don't need it Janis: or want it, like Jimmy: but decent headshots could get you a modelling job 📷 not 🎯 Jimmy: I could do that Janis: then we could both go Janis: no 💀 Jimmy: might work Janis: start of a plan Janis: we have such a good track record, like Jimmy: 💀👑 would 💀🤯 Jimmy: ⚰🎊🍾 Janis: just when she thought she couldn't be any more jealous Jimmy: I can give motivational speeches as my 2nd job too cause I felt it with every emoji Janis: very empowering, babe 💕 Jimmy: onto something Janis: reckon so Janis: just don't bang EVERY model you shoot Janis: get well shaming Jimmy: They'd have to all be as fit as you Janis: practically in the job description Janis: unless they're the 'unique' kind Jimmy: there's loads in mine I don't do Janis: 😱 employee of the month Janis: shh Jimmy: you'd vote for Pete anyway Janis: don't think they follow democratic process Janis: and how dare you, Jamie is the backbone of that place Jimmy: still Jimmy: you would Janis: nah Janis: you deffo would though Jimmy: I'd vote for myself Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: #selflove Janis: can respect it, boy Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 1. how much scotch did you drink Janis: 2. did you text your ex anything you should delete before you sober up Jimmy: if you're asking if there's any left for you 💔 I fucked up Jimmy: as for Hayley, she's been told to fuck off by half the north, she'll live Janis: could be worse then Janis: not for me, obvs Janis: but same Jimmy: I don't wanna get back with her, you know that, right? Janis: not my business either way Jimmy: Alright but do you have to say it like that? Janis: how do you want me to say it Jimmy: if its how you feel then Janis: look Janis: I'm glad I don't have to share your attention right now Janis: 'course I am but I don't need to sound possessive about it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is it Jimmy: Before, you said Jimmy: maybe I can't remember it right though Janis: no go on Janis: it's cool Jimmy: I dunno, I just Jimmy: reckoned you needed to hear that Janis: I did think maybe Janis: just some things you'd said too but it's Janis: you know Jimmy: you go on Janis: well like I said, not my business if you were Janis: but yeah, I thought you were Janis: I'd get it Jimmy: I wouldn't get it Jimmy: I trusted her and she Jimmy: It don't even matter anymore Jimmy: I made a mistake doing that and she made hers Janis: it's okay, you don't owe me an explanation Janis: I don't know her or your situation Janis: I just thought, from my limited perspective, you hate it here, it'd be a link to home, even if it was a bad one, like Jimmy: I hated it there an' all Jimmy: just 'cause I didn't ask and weren't asked to come here don't mean I wanna go back Janis: oh Janis: well that I get Jimmy: you had it right when you called me a miserable prick or whatever it were Janis: bit harsh though Janis: shit's shit Janis: you'd be an idiot if you didn't see it Jimmy: 🌧☔ me Jimmy: I'm alright with it by now Janis: yeah? Janis: that's something then Jimmy: everything's shit everywhere Jimmy: nowt gonna change next place he drags us Janis: wherever you go, there you are Jimmy: might get a new mum, might not Jimmy: might hear from my actual, might not Janis: she don't even call Jimmy: and say what? Janis: fucked Jimmy: they both were Jimmy: are Jimmy: and so are us kids Jimmy: ⚪ Janis: yep Janis: get out early as you can Janis: and don't have kids yourself Janis: only poem I've read that's any use Jimmy: 💔 that age 6 is probably pushing it a bit Janis: give it a few more years of shit and you can get away with it Jimmy: I'll start him on the poem anyway Janis: Larkin's dead easy Janis: debatable how appropriate but I'd go for very so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so we're going back to mine first Janis: or what Jimmy: You made this plan Janis: you gonna comply Jimmy: Depends Janis: that's what I was 🙀 of Janis: go on Jimmy: my 🙀💕 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: What's your house like? Janis: old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere Janis: perfect place for the local nutters to reside Jimmy: well now I'M 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you should be Janis: nah, you'll be able to get a decent kip, they're all doing their own shit and giving me disapproving looks if they know what's good for 'em Jimmy: Alright, protect me then Janis: always, babe Jimmy: I'm being dead serious Janis: 1. what makes you think I ain't Janis: 2. why Jimmy: just Janis: we can sneak in Janis: well, we can try but I don't know how well you'll do, pisshead Jimmy: Shut up 🏆💪 Janis: happy to be proved wrong Janis: it'll all be good though, promise Jimmy: stay close to me and you can every step Janis: I won't leave you on your own Jimmy: because you wanna stay or because you reckon I'll 🤢 and choke to 💀💀💀 Janis: you've made it this far without me, I'm not that bigheaded Janis: believe that or not Janis: I wanna stay Jimmy: even if I wanna die I wouldn't give Mia owt close to any satisfaction so that ain't the way for me to go Janis: hot Janis: keeping it petty, even in 💀💀💀 Jimmy: remind me to send it as a tweet tomorrow or something Janis: 'course Janis: that relatable suicidal/horny vibe, they get it Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: I think so Jimmy: I think no # would ever do you justice Jimmy: a voice memo is pushing it even with this top accent Janis: that laugh one you sent me was cute Jimmy: you do make me 😂 girl Janis: I know Janis: got the evidence for all time now 💕 Jimmy: keep it Jimmy: I'll be back as a 👻 fucking up all your electronics baby Janis: dunno what you got against 🍆s Jimmy: if they're not in you then nowt Janis: 😂 Janis: new levels of jealousy that Jimmy: is it? Janis: new to me Jimmy: Soz then Janis: don't Janis: don't need to be, like Jimmy: but if it's weird Jimmy: or too like Janis: it ain't Janis: its Janis: it ain't Janis: I wanna hear it all Janis: don't hold back okay Jimmy: You wanna hear what bits you do then you want me to shut up is what you mean Janis: would've said it if that's what I meant Janis: just 'cos I don't know what to say don't mean you can't say it if you wanna Jimmy: it's what everyone means, nowt personal Janis: you're just so chatty, like Jimmy: You just bring it out in me Janis: 'course Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: have to write you a poem now I know you're such a fan Janis: 😂 Janis: go on, he was always drunk Janis: will be a masterpiece Jimmy: Alright, shut up and let us crack on Janis: such a 🎨 temperament Janis: 🤐 alright Jimmy: [a selfie of his adorably drunk concentration face like 🤔 with a pen in his mouth and everything] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: shhh Jimmy: OMG Janis: your fault Jimmy: Girl if you don't 🤐🤐🤐 Janis: or what, boy Jimmy: You'll show up and I'll show you Janis: mhmm 😏 Janis: reckon you've got like 5-10 so write fast Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nearly done Janis: dread to think Jimmy: Oi🥇 muse and top content Jimmy: so rude Janis: just a sext that rhymes, yeah? Jimmy: You ain't having it now Jimmy: gonna 🔥 it dramatically in this bin Janis: let's not play with fire tah Janis: and don't be mean Jimmy: you Janis: I'm joking Janis: I'm sure it's 🔥 Jimmy: [a poem that I don't have the talent to actually write soz lads] Janis: it actually is Janis: how did you do that Jimmy: I told you got a 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 muse in you Jimmy: keep up with what I'm saying, Janet Janis: but really Jimmy: What? Janis: you're good, that's all Jimmy: Baby Janis: I mean it, like Janis: no bullshit Janis: english teacher must love you Jimmy: she don't Jimmy: too much 🎨 in my margins Janis: can't be tamed Janis: maverick Jimmy: rebel with just that one cause still Janis: 'course baby Jimmy: if you ain't wearing your pjs why would you even be here, like Janis: you can see 'em when we get back Janis: sure you've missed them Jimmy: gonna make me 😭😭 Janis: emotional drunk Janis: it's alright, won't tell Jimmy: emotional support PJs Janis: 😂 don't get to be a funny one and all Jimmy: can do it all me Janis: 😍 Janis: just need to sleep, alright Jimmy: you wanna 🥊 or 💋? Jimmy: working through the list Janis: you know we can't do either yeah Janis: not drunk as you now Janis: nothing if not fair, me Jimmy: can fix that for you Jimmy: unless your parents are teetotal or something Jimmy: even then can't live that in the middle of nowt, can you Janis: lol you have no idea Janis: wait and see Janis: and we're fixing you, not feeding my addiction Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know, how d'ya think I feel Janis: things I do for you Jimmy: I'll owe you though, you love that Janis: that's you but good to even the score Janis: can't lie Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: is that a subtle way to say I need to hurry or Jimmy: working through a list, I said Jimmy: gotta use the bin for something since you said no fires Janis: so demanding Janis: almost like I don't want you getting more burns Jimmy: that Freddy Krueger #aesthetic though 😍 Jimmy: love a stripy jumper me Jimmy: very slimming 💀👑 will double tap my OOTD faster than you can say no cheese Janis: you are technically a nonce so Janis: the fedora fits Jimmy: 😂 Janis: where are you then Jimmy: where am I Jimmy: good question that Janis: full of 'em, me Janis: gimme a clue Jimmy: 🍀 Janis: oh good, you ain't fled the country Janis: wouldn't be very good for my rep, that Jimmy: Looking for a bus has gotta be easier than looking for the one lad Jimmy: hang on Janis: how blurry are your 👀 Jimmy: I'll take my 😎 off, babe Jimmy: for you Janis: scandalous Janis: behave you Jimmy: #nudes Jimmy: 👀 Janis: dunno if I'll recognize you even Jimmy: 😱😱😱💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: supposed to know me anywhere you Jimmy: the films have fucking lied Janis: shit fake gf me Janis: always said it Jimmy: If you want a tea you'll have to wait til we get back Jimmy: or fake it of course Janis: wanna have a tea party Jimmy: Depends Janis: guest list? Jimmy: So who else is invited? Janis: only the best 🧸s in town Jimmy: Forget that twat 🧸 your sister hangs out with then Janis: 😂 Janis: deffo Jimmy: I dont want owt to do with him Jimmy: no trust there, like Janis: unless he makes his own way Janis: ain't risking that bear cave to bring him Jimmy: if he is owt like her Jimmy: 🥇 at turning up where she ain't wanted Janis: telling me Janis: 🤞 he's like his father Jimmy: yeah, your birth being one Jimmy: well awkward Janis: so rude, honestly Janis: fuming in that womb I was Jimmy: Well done on taking the spotlight every day since, mate Janis: 🤷 Janis: someone's gotta Janis: she'd melt Jimmy: the kind of commitment I need Jimmy: and you need on your CV Janis: always banking them transferrable skills Jimmy: might be the hottest thing you've ever said Jimmy: dunno but it's up there Janis: you're a lucky boy Janis: everyone knows Jimmy: fake 💍 ASAP then Janis: have to find me first Jimmy: Stop distracting me Jimmy: or be distracting IRL Janis: [find this boy lmao] Jimmy: [just like oh hey cos how far away can he really be] Janis: [exactly, when you've gotta wait for a bus straight back, go to a different cafe and get some breakfast kids] Jimmy: [state of him he needs it lbr] Janis: [just steering him like] Jimmy: [nice parallel to when he had to when she hurt herself on that trip lol] Janis: [just silently fuming at Ian's handiwork blatantly, actually getting a pot of tea too 'cos why not] Jimmy: [tea improves any situation okay bye] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [are they sitting next to each other or opposite? Real questions] Janis: [hmm, probably opposite on a lil 2 seater moment] Jimmy: [eye contact ftw] Janis: [plenty of time for snuggling later, oh the casual tension you're having to put aside rn girl, it fine lmao] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but actually no Im not haha] Janis: ['better?'] Jimmy: ['if things between us are' you know hes drunk when he answers a question] Janis: [nods but looks away like so casual 'course'] Jimmy: [when you're just trying to do something to make her look at you again but you end up just gently holding her face and looking into her eyes for 9 years] Janis: [bit deer in the headlights but allowing it still] Jimmy: [nods genuinely like okay I believe you as if she hasnt just come all this way to find you and take care of you bitch] Janis: [licks his hand like get off but also kisses it 'dope'] Jimmy: ['stop giving me such weird compliments'] Janis: ['stop taking insults as compliments, slag' 😏] Jimmy: [throws a sugar packet at her like how sweet] Janis: [puts it in his tea like energy] Jimmy: ['Oi, sweet enough me' but puts another one in anyway] Janis: 🍬🍨🍧🍭🍰 Janis: you Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 🤞 won't be any time soon Janis: ['try your best' shrugs 'like you said, ain't your fault though'] Jimmy: My fault he ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: I'll come through with the ☢️⚠️☣️ Jimmy: only so many times I can say tah before it's weird, you know Janis: won't tell if you forget your manners Jimmy: 😏 you'd like it is why Janis: shh Janis: return the favour Jimmy: not gonna say owt to anyone Jimmy: mute, remember Janis: can be as loud as you wanna, remember Jimmy: that middle of nowhere, is it? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: told you Janis: no one can hear you 😱 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: very shy me Janis: yeah, noticed Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but nearly knocks the precious tea everywhere cos drunkard] Janis: ['careful!'] Janis: I ain't got an apron and you can't be out yours yet Jimmy: [throws a napkin at her like sorted] Janis: [😑] Jimmy: sure you don't wanna 🥊, babe? Janis: stop being tempting Jimmy: never 💕 Janis: what am I gonna do with you, like Jimmy: What do you wanna do with me? Janis: [a LOOK 😳] Jimmy: [obviously giving her one back but shamelessly] Janis: [putting your finger to his mouth like he speaking] Jimmy: [you know they gotta go in his mouth in a saucy manner now girl he got no chill and cant be stopped] Janis: we're in public Jimmy: You're my girlfriend in public Janis: you see anyone else doing Janis: that Jimmy: if they were going out with you, I would see it, yeah Janis: you're wasted Jimmy: and what? Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Jimmy: it's won't not can't Jimmy: and that's only 'cause you said Janis: yeah okay Janis: but that's the right thing to do Janis: even if I don't wanna Jimmy: If it feels right to you then Janis: you know it is Janis: or you'll know later Jimmy: Later I'll be 😴💤 I won't know nowt Janis: that's the plan Janis: come find me after that, yeah? Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: nowhere Jimmy: might actually be able to find you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: believe in ya Janis: ['finish up' 'cos bus has to come eventually] Jimmy: [when you just give her a look like do you though? before necking that tea honey] Janis: [gathering their shit and holding the door open for him like come on boy] Jimmy: ['so romantic you' as he goes through the door like] Janis: [does a bow] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [takes her hand because if you cant handhold when you need to be kept upright when can you] Janis: ['least you'll definitely get a seat' 'cos can't be wobbling about the bus lmao] Jimmy: ['A northern 45 is a 95 anywhere else, only gotta spread the word a bit'] Janis: ['you're doing a great job with the psa, mate'] Jimmy: [IRL 👍] Janis: [sitting him down and she should have to stand busy bus vibe] Jimmy: [trying to move up as if she can share this seat with you like that unthinkingly but she not #smol] Janis: tah Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: considerate forever Jimmy: [gesturing that she can sit on you because not like she hasnt before and its all so casual lol lol lol] Janis: [a look like are you sure? also excuse them the like old lady he's probably next to heheheh] Jimmy: [a look like do you wanna stand for 13 years I dont think so] Janis: [shrugs and hops on] Jimmy: [wrapping his arms around her like a seatbelt even though shes not gonna fall off and we know you just are doing a little hug moment boy] Janis: [so soft] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [a moment even if you're dying slightly] Jimmy: [just really leaning his head on her so casually here too nbd] Janis: [stroking his hair and sneaky checking the bruises and stuff] Jimmy: [he started it but its too soft and hes dying like] Janis: at least you look cool Janis: [is sad face tho] Jimmy: [makes her sad face a smiley face by smushing it] Janis: [lols 'excuse me'] Jimmy: helping you look if not 😎 then 😊 Janis: you're sweet Jimmy: you not gonna do the emojis this time? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: baby Jimmy: [😍 in this close a proximity, not a good idea boy, but here we are] Janis: you're just very Janis: distracting Janis: [so much eye contact] Jimmy: [when you say 'you' out loud so you don't have to break it by looking down at your phone to type] Janis: [annnnnd hold, just internally debating if you can kiss him or not morally] Jimmy: [we all know he would be leaning in to kiss her and then would so] Janis: [go with it girl, it's okay] Jimmy: [don't mind them bus peeps they just gotta have a moment] Janis: [lmao the tutting they don't even notice rn] Jimmy: [deal with it slags they are in love] Janis: [the level of restraint you need to keep it just at a makeout moment tbh, the old lady should need to get off like ahem lol] Jimmy: [honestly its been SUCH a night and they are gonna be on this bus for ages yet gdi, off you go 👵] Janis: [least they've got two seats now, spread out] Jimmy: [but never that much you clingy bitches #same] Janis: [lbr would've taken you longer than necessary to get off his lap] Jimmy: [a mood] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [has to kiss her again obvs because they stop when they want not when a 👵 says so] Janis: [which is lowkey never but it's fine, long bus journey] Jimmy: [at least you can take advantage of having slightly more space to basically swap over so he's all but on top of her now instead, the tuts would be LOUD haha] Janis: [just being like 'don't get too comfy' 😏 between kisses] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK because unrepentant af about any of this soz passengers] Janis: [when you have to be the one with some control lmao good luck] Jimmy: [at least theres plenty of other people on this bus to tell you to get some LOL] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪🔪 Janis: 👴👵🚨👮⛓ Jimmy: 👵💔👴 Jimmy: so jealous them Jimmy: 👮🚔 will be an all Janis: yeah you're pretty cute Jimmy: you Janis: you wanna 🥊 so bad Jimmy: not what I most want but alright Janis: really Janis: maybe you should be clearer Jimmy: [more kisses that are more extra, look away people] Janis: I get it Jimmy: You sure? Janis: ['You know you wanna' and a LOOK] Jimmy: [forever returning those looks bitch and you can have some lovebites too girl cos its been a minute for you] Janis: [into it] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [just taking photos of said bruises like it's a force of habit but you just wanna] Jimmy: [thats fine because gives him an excuse to take 📷 of her too which he always just wants to] Janis: you gonna be my personal photographer Janis: when I'm mega famous Jimmy: Do you still want me to follow you about then? Janis: Do you? Janis: [are you him like] Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: Paris, Milan, Tokyo Janis: list is endless Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Janis: sorted Jimmy: til I get lost Jimmy: at least you know how to take a decent selfie, babe Janis: have to put a tracker on you Janis: not a crazy gf, for his safety purely Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [just looking into those 😍 with your own] Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [kissing her on each cheek really soft like hes practising for europe but we know its for the 😳] Janis: ['stop' but soft] Jimmy: [does but doesnt move far enough away so still up in her grill like] Janis: [just pushing his head down, gently lol, like go to sleep] Jimmy: [pouty face] Janis: [squishing his face for revenge] Jimmy: [like oi because standard but snuggling into her] Janis: ['promise I'll wake you up'] Jimmy: ['no challenge too hard going for you, I get it' sleepy voiced] Janis: ['flexes the arm he ain't on] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: [have a snooze boy we'll skipperoo] Jimmy: [take some deep breaths Janis theres so much more to come babe] Janis: [roll up on the cali gaff lads] Jimmy: [that wont be awks at all now that its whatever o clock in the morning] Janis: [when one of them probably stayed home to watch her so she already snuck out to get him, on the shit list big time rn] Jimmy: [I hope whichever parent it is aint doing yoga on the lawn rn] Janis: [lmao now is not the time lads, not sneaking though 'cos fuck you fam is the mood evidently] Jimmy: [it really isnt because it should probably be Ali to show how seriously they are taking the driving escapade so him thinking her mum is fit is really not the mood] Jimmy: [also take a moment to really appreciate HOW MANY cats he would think he was half asleep still cos wtf] Janis: [i vibe] Janis: [when you're so embarrassed by your fam/house/everything tbh like get in my room quick thanks] Jimmy: [at least he wont really fully register it cos actually is sleepy so she can just hustle him through speedily] Janis: [just moving her shit out the way so he can get in] Jimmy: [I cant even think what her room would look like either dont start me] Jimmy: [so much like her nan bye] Janis: [like it was once nice 'cos can afford nice shit but is now wrecked/she's never in there now so any posters would be dated as hell] Jimmy: [I feel like hes gotta notice that even though hes not gonna say anything] Jimmy: [file that away in your head boy] Janis: [for another time, also have a nice tuck-in moment for the throwback] Jimmy: [yaaas! what size is her bed?] Janis: [defs a double 'cos she doesn't have loads of other shit she needs so she can] Jimmy: [good thinking you aint gonna have a homework desk are you babe] Janis: [and the attic is already more sizeable anyway soz lads, like they all could, but for example we said grace don't 'cos she wants her youtube background moment so then there is no room] Jimmy: [and Grace never brings lads home cos she would rather die so priorities] Janis: [surprised she brings her friends tbh, Mia like we coming bitch] Jimmy: [she wouldnt want them there but yeah Mia inviting herself from day 1] Janis: [getting all the tea the snek] Jimmy: [I hate her so much because we all know bitches like that] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [anything I need to know about that Janis is gonna do while hes just sleeping and snuggling?] Janis: [she'd probably do some homework 'cos promised she wouldn't leave obvs, work out 'cos all the tension today but that's only next room and also snuggle] Jimmy: [I was gonna say, use that gym honey its been a DAY for you both] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [we need another skip cos we gotta let this poor boy sleep for a while] Janis: [let her have a sleep too 'cos also hasn't so he can wake up first] Jimmy: [casually like where the fuck am I in that hot sec before he realises shes still right there bitch 😍 at her for a bit boy she wont know] Jimmy: [but actually like snuggling into her more cos you know you should check your phone to see if your siblings are alive but you dont wanna but thanks to Ian it would hurt trying to bury your head cos you arent drunk anymore so youre like ow and thatd probably wake her up so] Janis: [enjoy boy, waking up like 'hey'] Jimmy: [saying it back in the quietest voice ever] Janis: ['you need water?' and going to get up] Jimmy: [when youre like I need painkillers for all these injuries but you arent gonna say that because gotta be hard and northern so say nothing] Janis: [looking back like ?] Jimmy: [a very helpful shrug, oh boy have some water and dont be a knob] Janis: [goes for that water] Jimmy: [does check his phone to make sure Cass and Bobby are alright] Janis: [should've washed his uniform for him so he can look like he's been a presentable boy at work all day, so bringing that back in too] Jimmy: [thats so domestic I nearly screamed then] Janis: [when you so caring on the low and no one knows rn] Jimmy: [he would be DYING because he dont have a mum to care about him and clearly Ian isnt] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [fully conceal dont feel boy so she doesnt know how much that got to you] Janis: [just sitting back down on the bed, looking at him like 🤔 'well, you look less pissed at least'] Jimmy: [he was drinking his water and keeping it casual so gotta do a little choke laugh into it like] Janis: ['if you die when I've gone to all this trouble, I swear' 😏] Jimmy: ['less witnesses here than on the bus, be alright' 😏 oh the double meaning excuse you slag] Janis: ['that's alright then' so flirty] Jimmy: [forever giving LOOKS, oh you two] Janis: [all the looks all the time, also the PJs are on as promised so] Jimmy: [give them a nod now youre properly awake boy] Janis: [little lol] Jimmy: [takes her hand and puts it on his pulse so she can see that hes still alive cos obvs trying to kill him with how cute she looks and is] Janis: [just moving your hands up and down 'cos you wanna but then getting to his face and pausing like 'what you gonna tell the kid, if he asks?'] Jimmy: [looks down at some old burn scar or other and back at her like theres your answer cos can easily say he did it at work by falling over something or whatever] Janis: [nods 'then you're good to go-' adding '-whenever' 'cos blatantly does not want it to be yet tah] Jimmy: ['Is the plan to starve me out or-' obviously stalling because he doesnt wanna go either ha 'Mia'll be well proud' but also when was the last time they ate either of them lbr] Janis: ['could just say you're hungry, dickhead' gentle push back down, like 'what you want?'] Jimmy: ['it'd end the live tweets too quick that' gets comfy and doesnt answer what he wants of course v helpful] Janis: [when you get on top of him like you're about to playfight or be saucy, which is it??? neither, getting up like 'get what you're given then, boy' 😏] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: sure you don't wanna live-tweet it? Jimmy: You want that to be your rep then? Janis: worse things than a heartbreaker, I guess Janis: jussayin, you had your chance to chat to me 🤐 Jimmy: Oi, not if it's my heart under the 🔨 Jimmy: so rude you Janis: so your 🖤 is delicate but your lungs and kidney can take it? Janis: noted Jimmy: swing a 🔨 delicately, do you? Noted Janis: forgot liver, but thought that might be a sensitive topic still Janis: very fucking considerate, I'll have you know Jimmy: might be for you, pisshead Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: now Janis: thanks to my excellent nursing Jimmy: Then an' all Jimmy: but I know how into giving it a go you were, not the only considerate one you Janis: even if we're back to faking it, you were never that good Janis: your 😵🥴 and bambi walk gave you away Jimmy: might be concussion that, you didn't ask, some nurse you Janis: didn't need to, you told me about the scotch of your own freewill Janis: so rude to question my competence Janis: risky, when I'm making you food as well Jimmy: scotch which came after, could've already had the serious head injury Janis: 🙄 considering you've survived your all-day nap Janis: gonna say I was right and you're taking the piss Jimmy: no 🏆 coming your way for a fluke, mate Janis: don't ask for much do ya Janis: don't fancy being your real gf, high maintenance motherfucker Jimmy: Nowt off you, I hate to be disappointed me Jimmy: enough 🎻 playing as is Janis: come up here and help yourself then, twat Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: 💀👑 is probably hiding in your fridge Janis: sniffing calories Janis: yeah well you can go in the freezer if you don't start behaving Jimmy: beats a cold 🚿 if you're gonna keep being so 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: not if you're concussed Janis: can't risk injuring you further 'til you're all better, can I Jimmy: I have been before, I ain't now Jimmy: You'll have to think of another way to lose your fake nursing qualification Janis: 'cos that's what I wanna do Jimmy: be out of your hands if you ain't 🥇 Janis: and lemme guess, you'll be 🥇 and in charge, yeah? Jimmy: Let me guess, you want Pete to have final say, yeah? Janis: I mean, don't even put the idea in my head if you want this food any time soon Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 can't share that cold 🚿 Jimmy: fuck it, go on into his DMs its been a bit and I can wait one Janis: BUT WHAT DO I SAY?!?! 😱 Jimmy: pic gonna be worth loads more than words, girl Jimmy: he's an artist Janis: 👂 not 👀 but I get your point Janis: and a voice message would be well forward Jimmy: and you're 🙀🥇🙀 obvs Janis: piss off Janis: not sending nudes to every fit boy I see ain't 🙀 it's sane Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you do it then Jimmy: he don't want mine Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and you turning out to be my beard isn't very believable Janis: why not Jimmy: would've picked a different lass if that's what I was after Jimmy: more girly or something Janis: 🖕 Janis: ignoring you now Jimmy: Why 'cause I'm not gay? Bit rude Janis: no because you're rude Jimmy: for not sending unwanted nudes to my straight male coworker? Nah mate you've got that wrong Janis: 😑 Janis: to me Jimmy: What for? Janis: what do you mean what for Jimmy: What do you mean I'm being rude to you? Janis: where to begin Janis: it comes that natural, you don't even notice, eh Jimmy: You notice owt that ain't happening Janis: don't be a gaslighter, that ain't #goals Jimmy: don't be throwing words about that you could save for a # Janis: liked you better when you were asleep Jimmy: I liked you better when I were too Janis: your sense of directions for shit but you can work on where the door is if that's the case Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: are you taking this food or what Jimmy: is it done or what? Janis: you're in such a rush Janis: would you even be done with your shift yet Jimmy: You told me to be in one Janis: I never Jimmy: you said fuck off out so I'm going Janis: I said stop being a dick Jimmy: you said leave Janis: well if you don't like me why would I do things for you and why would you want me to Jimmy: I never said Janis: yeah well you did Jimmy: that were you Janis: you said it back Janis: I was joking Jimmy: because in dreams owt can happen, why wouldn't that be better? Janis: now you're gonna be slick, huh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: whatever, keats Janis: just stay and eat Janis: in the oven now, don't need go waste Jimmy: only gonna take poison off your 💋 Jules so don't get any other ideas with the 🍽 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll take your word, no need to 🔪 yourself to get it written out anywhere else Janis: yeah if they reckon last night was a suey attempt they probably will take the knives so I'll be 😇 Jimmy: til I take you somewhere else, any road Jimmy: soon have you back at 😈🥇 Janis: not sure I can take your word on that score yet Janis: but we'll see Jimmy: Why not? Janis: still impatiently waiting for you to take me, ain't I Jimmy: if you're so impatient let's go Janis: gotta eat Jimmy: not me 👻 Janis: take my duties very serious, even if you doubt my ability Jimmy: so serious you Jimmy: that'll be why you were all jokes a bit ago Janis: keep your on your toes Janis: check for any concussion Jimmy: I'll work out with you, stop begging Janis: never keep up, baby Jimmy: That hurts, babe Jimmy: Ian's got nowt on you Janis: give him pointers on the verbal smackdown if I see him Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 you won't but tah Jimmy: getting really boring having the same row every time, like Janis: yeah, figured I was fucked for an invite back Janis: give him some new material, whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant 'cause he makes himself scarce for a bit after Jimmy: not showing you the door Janis: Ah Janis: almost like remorse, but not quite, sir Jimmy: Don't wanna look at me til I'm healed Jimmy: he'll have that in common with my instagram feed I'm sure Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Prick Jimmy: You ready for your close up then? Jimmy: be your time to shine, this Janis: so kind of you to share your spotlight Janis: 😏 Jimmy: well you know, if the queen of the undead asks I got every bruise decking some dickhead for you or whatever so I won't need it Jimmy: hero worshipped as standard Janis: she ain't very good down on her knees, so the rumor mill says so might wanna reconsider getting 'em 🙏 Jimmy: Teeth falling out during would put anyone off tbf Jimmy: 🤞 she at least swallows them Jimmy: Tooth fairy won't come but the lad might still Jimmy: 💕 Janis: put out a poll in the groupchat Janis: important info Jimmy: Where's Grace's room, if I don't get lost I'll ask her Janis: piss off Jimmy: Come on, tell me Janis: shut up, no Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: What? Janis: you know what Jimmy: No Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: go on Janis: I don't need to, pretty obvious Janis: ask your sister the same shall I Jimmy: She don't have a #squad for you to get the goss on, soz babes Janis: well I'm not gonna, freak Janis: neither are you Jimmy: What's the fucking matter with you? Janis: what are you on about Jimmy: You heard Janis: and you heard, shut up chatting about my sister Janis: don't see how you don't see that that's weird Jimmy: I weren't chatting about her, just her besties Jimmy: So what's your problem with that? Janis: just quit whilst I've got hot food coming at you or it'll end up in your lap Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [coming through with some kind of safe food she's just shoved in for them] Jimmy: [takes it so he can eat it and shhh] Janis: [omnom] Jimmy: [awkward moody silent eating lol] Janis: [fun times forever] Jimmy: [just finishing speedily and getting ready to go as if I'm gonna let that happen haha] Janis: [looking up as if she's shooketh 'alright?'] Jimmy: [a nod that's clearly incorrect] Janis: [a funny face like obvs not 'come on'] Jimmy: [a look thats like dont tell me to come on] Janis: [😱😬😋 in that order] Jimmy: [leaving but not really cos I still ain't gonna let him get that far obvs] Janis: excuse you Jimmy: can do, if you want Janis: the least you can do is say bye Jimmy: Alright then Jimmy: bye Janis: fuck you, come back here and say it to my face Jimmy: [does come storming back in but doesnt say it, because just looking at her intensely instead] Janis: [😡 face 'say.it.'] Jimmy: ['you' doesnt need to be as up in her grill as he is, but what's new 'why are you being such a massive dickhead?'] Janis: ['me?' outrage lmao 'you. what is your problem right now?'] Jimmy: ['What's yours? I fucking asked you ages ago'] Janis: ['Nothing, you've been an asshole ever since you woke up'] Jimmy: ['No, I've not, you've been having a go at me since your sister got mentioned'] Janis: ['and I told you, it weren't funny'] Jimmy: [annoyed shrug like whatever then] Janis: ['goodbye then' and flinging yourself dramatically on the bed] Jimmy: [does not move] Janis: [is on phone not looking his way so] Janis: what Jimmy: [taking her phone off her #problematic] Janis: [death stare 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [when you can't handle her shouting at you because soft boy 5ever so you're in a shut down like you didnt start this, oh boy so problematic] Janis: ['what' at a normal level like genuine confusion] Jimmy: ['everything's shit' but quietly like the grandma I am would be like ?? 'since I woke up, before then, just....'] Janis: [sighs, rubbing her temples and sitting back down from getting up to shout 'yeah' also quiet 'it is'] Jimmy: [sits next to her but not close to her, a throwback to that bench on the school trip because I'm that slut] Janis: ['I get it, alright' throwing a glance back but not maintaining any eye contact rn 'sorry'] Jimmy: [lying on your back to stare at her ceiling dramatically because you wanna cry and its another throwback while Im on a roll 'I'm a dickhead and I'm sorry'] Janis: ['yeah but so am I, for one; and two, don't make it alright that everything's SO shit, you know' shrugs, shuffles back but doesn't commit to laying down next to him, taking his hand] Jimmy: ['You're not though, you're-' I can't even begin to go there rn boy, sits up but without letting go of her hand and is just looking down at it like 'and you have made it alright, a bit' because she is so nice and he cant even deal Janis: ['a bit' 🤏 smiles a lil and nudges him like, you ain't either though, shrugs 'just what any fucker would do, and they probably wouldn't be a cunt minute you wake up so-'] Jimmy: [raises their linked hands like I can't do the lot stretched out hand thing without letting go, soz because of course he isnt gonna do that. Lowkey crying silently #same because you dont know how to express how nice she is or how much you arent used to/cant handle it] Janis: [when their hands are going back down, tapping his head 'you nerd' then taking his other hand and finally hugging so he can cry in private 'I swear, I wanna make it alright all the time, I wanna be your mate but you don't get it, I ain't a good one, all I'll bring is more hassle, like'] Jimmy: [just the longest hug ever because all the reasons 'you're the best I've had, I get that it sounds fake but it's not'] Janis: [just squeezing him tighter 'cos what to say like same bitch] Jimmy: [such a MOMENT 'you wanna get out of here with me now then?'] Janis: ['yeah' no hesitation 'but you're gonna have to leave and I'm gonna have to sneak out after'] Jimmy: need a 🚬 anyway Jimmy: find me after Janis: okay Jimmy: [leaves but looks back of course cos ILY bitch] Janis: [chasing him down and giving him the most intense kiss of all time, pablo where you at to interrupt] Jimmy: [OMG Mia where you at tho] Janis: [if she was actually over LMAO] Jimmy: [she so could be if we want because always inviting herself] Janis: [amuses me greatly why not] Jimmy: [Grace chasing Mia down but not to kiss her I hope and just like oh ffs because so over Mias obsession with JJ] Janis: [#thereallovestory] Jimmy: [they are everyones otp get over it now Mia] Janis: [least they can bants about how it's getting weird now, egg on your face sweaty Jimmy: [and she cant hang so she cant join them bants soz] Janis: [not soz, when you can start kissing again like it's purely to get them to fuck off but blatantly not] Jimmy: [going for it because you know Mia is too invested when Grace has to drag her away like dont be weird] Janis: [probably try to join in, just loling when they're gone] Jimmy: [you know they are having a bestie domestic, Grace having to be all what is your problem herself because seriously Mia get a grip my love] Janis: [oh the drama, weekly falling out is on, pick a side everyone] Jimmy: [at least JJ are living their best lives rn] Janis: ['why are you making me wanna stay, just a bit' 🤏] Jimmy: [kissing her again because challenge to make her wanna stay a lot is very much accepted] Janis: [just making your way back upstairs really slowly 'cos you're making out the whole way/being pushes backwards] Jimmy: [don't fall over and hurt yourselves either of you because that wouldnt be a mood and this is] Janis: [you got this, on your knees/sat anyway so it fine] Jimmy: [love that you keep having moments on stairs atm] Janis: [mewd] Jimmy: [god bless you both] Janis: [first time yay or nay?] Jimmy: [I say yes because it happened here OG anyway and feels are well high like how would we even stop them lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [we have to steal them missing their stop on the bus from the OG and having to walk for another occasion though cos that was a mood] Janis: [yes easily done tho so we will] Jimmy: [blatantly re-read that hence me and my dementia remember so] Jimmy: [At least Cali cant kick off at her because she did technically stay in] Janis: [gonna say I do not tbh lol] Janis: [if they do just be like HE WAS LOCKED OUT fight me] Jimmy: [we all know Caleb is a soft touch anyway lads] Janis: [trutru also save the lecture she busylol] Jimmy: [he would have that boy over for dinner every night and lowkey adopt him haha] Janis: [he don't know that yet tho just thinking there's another bad egg on the scene] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [the joys of being a parent lmao] Jimmy: [arent you glad you went as hard as you did on the numbers guys] Janis: [regrets, you have 10] Jimmy: [awkward] Janis: [speaking of, how you wanna be lads] Jimmy: [staying forever is how he will wanna be clingy bitch] Janis: [probably need to go feed your siblings though so he could always have a headstart and she'll meet him there] Jimmy: [good point, gotta keep them alive] Janis: [especially if Ian is hiding] Jimmy: [at least he would be at work still so easy to avoid] Janis: [true tea, and if he shows Jimmy can pretend he been working all day anyway] Jimmy: [Twix will be going mental honey, poor bab] Janis: [🤞 cass been holding the fort and walked her] Jimmy: [Im gonna insist she has or Ill be 💔] Jimmy: [also gotta insist that Mia has been posting about them so they gotta be reminded of the fake shit after being the realest ever with each other like] Janis: [a good jump off point] Jimmy: [leave them alone and mind your business bitch literally why are you so bothered] Janis: [never known love, never known life] Janis: how many restraining orders you reckon her da has found loopholes in, like? Janis: [whatever extraness on Mia's socials] Jimmy: Fuck's sake Janis: yeah Janis: she must've left in a strop a while ago 'cos grace is stomping around here solo, like Jimmy: 💔 Janis: thoughts and prayers Jimmy: Hang on, let me start a gofundme to buy poor Gracie a new bestie Jimmy: 🧸 still in my bad books Janis: well, s'a hard sell so Janis: 🍀 to you Jimmy: Oh come on 🥇 optimist at work here Janis: call it clueless Janis: but love that for you Janis: luxury money can't buy Jimmy: Oi, be nice to me Janis: I am Janis: it's endearing Janis: only jealous, like Jimmy: Suspicious Jimmy: my undercover 👮🚔 senses are going Janis: Why? Janis: no case to crack here Janis: open book, me Jimmy: that's what a closed book would say Jimmy: got my 👀 on you, baby Janis: 😏 Janis: that's what a 45 year old perv would say Janis: nothing to hide, keep on 👀 Jimmy: Alright then Janis: you not on the bus? Janis: don't have to hide in the bushes w the binoculars Jimmy: I don't have time to spy on you 🚌👵💕 Jimmy: 👀 for another, tah Janis: 💔 Janis: move so fast Jimmy: told you I could keep up with you in the gym Janis: not gonna be your gym buddy now though 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have a new 🚿 buddy in a bit Jimmy: those non slip surfaces and grab rails 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: it's a date and a party Janis: 😡 Janis: hope she breaks a hip xoxo Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: in good hands, her Janis: be nice to me too Jimmy: If I start Janis: ? Jimmy: I'll want you to get on this bus with me Janis: same Janis: they're being ridiculously OTT Jimmy: bit rude when that's my job Janis: I'll let 'em know Janis: dead curious, like 🙄 Jimmy: tell them I ain't done a shift of my other, raring to go, me Jimmy: such a strong worth ethic Jimmy: work* Janis: you want 'em to like you Janis: 😎 boy for life Jimmy: I want you to know I like you Jimmy: where OTT comes in Janis: I want that too Janis: no 🙄 needed Jimmy: Come back then Janis: I will Janis: when they shut up and give me a second alone Jimmy: How much trouble will you be in? Janis: not enough that I care Janis: unless they plan to actually lock me in my room, they know I won't stick around anyway, pretend to the contrary if they want Jimmy: Did you just quote me? Janis: didn't check if I got it verbatim but Jimmy: 💕 Janis: shut up 💘 Jimmy: you can't tell me to shut up when you're having my words come out of your mouth Janis: you know I say 'em nicer Jimmy: bollocks you love my accent Janis: just like it when you actually talk, babe Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course I do Jimmy: What do you wanna hear? Janis: How much you like me Janis: and how you're gonna show me Jimmy: [a voice memo thing going into far too much detail considering he is either on the bus or waiting for one] Janis: oh Janis: that's Janis: remind me why you aren't here again Jimmy: 'cause you're coming to me Jimmy: soon as Janis: yeah Janis: and I can stay Janis: 'til Ian shows again, yeah? Jimmy: even when he does Jimmy: I said, not kicking you out Janis: good Janis: 'cos don't wanna go unless we go together Janis: 💀🤞 Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: got that in writing now Janis: love a contract, you Jimmy: #middle aged man kinks Janis: 😂 Janis: it's alright, you got stamina, for an old guy Jimmy: reword that tweet a bit before you hit send probably Janis: not gonna blow your cover Janis: bit late for the blow-by-blow account anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: in a stunning turn of events, gracie is helping me for some reason so should be able to get out of here sooner than anticipated Jimmy: very funny Janis: funny weird, yeah Janis: already ordered a lift so Jimmy: Hang on, you ain't joking? Janis: unless she is Janis: see in 5 Jimmy: unless she kills you Jimmy: still see you though 👻💕 Janis: counterproductive if that's what they're all claiming to be so upset about Janis: funny though Janis: she'd get shanked so fast in prison Jimmy: Might not, had loads of practice being Mia's bitch Janis: assume that's where she's running herself Jimmy: how romantic Jimmy: tell her not to, we don't need the competition Janis: absolutely not Jimmy: You won't have a convo with her or you won't tolerate them as an IT couple? Janis: 1. I'm not trying to help her ever Janis: 2. they're both in love with me Janis: 3. we're 🥇 and don't ever imply less Jimmy: So forceful you Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: sort it out, honestly 😏 Jimmy: if you get to mine before me, you'll have to Jimmy: skipped the honeymoon and went straight to kids and a dog Janis: that's a point Janis: evidently YOUR honeymoon is over 'cos waited for you to get on that bus, like Janis: plan worked 💕🙌 Jimmy: never a bad plan, you Janis: n'awh Janis: don't worry, know how to do oven chips, I can sort it Jimmy: so does Cass, she's 12 not 2 Janis: excuse me, you want me to muck in or nah Jimmy: No, I don't want you to Jimmy: that's why I said you might have to Jimmy: under duress, same as me Janis: well I'm used to that Janis: no worries Jimmy: Ruining the fantasy a bit there, rich girl Janis: you can do better Jimmy: Obviously Janis: and you'll have plenty of time after the bedtime routine Jimmy: Not if our kid has owt to do with it but I'll make time for you Janis: can't stay awake long as I can Janis: 💪 Jimmy: I'll give you the 🏆 when I wake up then Janis: talking 'bout outlasting the kid but if you're 😪 already baby Jimmy: been tired since before I met you Jimmy: worst kept secret in my new boy mystery set Janis: poor boy Janis: I'll help you sleep, trust Jimmy: What's your singing voice like? Fed up of 🎻🎻🎻 me Janis: don't reckon I'm winning any 🏆 but Janis: do my best Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how do you do it then Jimmy: What? Janis: the whole having self-control thing Janis: 'cos when I see you I'll just wanna Jimmy: The clue's in the first bit Jimmy: it ain't about me Jimmy: what I wanna do Jimmy: I ain't got no self control, just Jimmy: shit in my way Janis: hmm Janis: makes sense Janis: all your habits, like 🚬 Jimmy: got plenty of self destruction, yeah Jimmy: nowt in the way of that Janis: I'll drink to that Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: There's no scotch but you can have owt else that he or I've not Janis: such a good host Jimmy: Do you have 🚬? Janis: nah but I'll go shop Janis: give you chance to get here Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: How do you do this? Janis: ? Jimmy: it's the longest 🚌 ride I've ever been on 😱😱 Jimmy: you really live in the middle of nowt, girl Janis: you were warned Janis: hoping it'll keep us in, hasn't really worked Jimmy: actually gonna have to move you in Jimmy: don't even like you it's just jealousy that you get to spend so much time with hot drivers like this bloke Jimmy: and the 👵👴 on board every time Janis: honestly, prime hunting ground for you Janis: it's probably trevor Janis: be more jealous, I know 'em all by name Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Why you trying to make me get banned for 🥊? Jimmy: even if I won't need to visit you here 💀👑 and  the rest of the #squad will want me to show up Janis: 1. you're jealous of me for seeing them, not the other way 'round, remember Janis: 2. just really want an excuse to steal another car Janis: 3. gonna make a habit of giving them what they want? Jimmy: 1. that's obvs all a blur 'cause I'm too fuming to think clearly now Jimmy: 2. I didn't steal the 1st one so I don't reckon you can say another Jimmy: 3. Depends Janis: 1. Me too now, see 3 Janis: 2. you don't know how far I got, pisshead Janis: 3. 😒 Jimmy: What's that face for? Jimmy: You dunno what it depends on yet, mardy Janis: I know I don't like it either way Janis: but fine, what? Jimmy: I was just Jimmy: but nah it's alright, you don't wanna know Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😒😒 Janis: [imagine she's done them huge like on facebook] Janis: well tell me Jimmy: If they still want me to break up with you, I might Jimmy: to cut out all the fake shit between us Jimmy: that's what I were thinking Janis: who told you you were allowed to be so Jimmy: ? Janis: idk the right word Janis: cute just sounds fake Jimmy: I know what you mean Janis: alright, bighead 😏 Jimmy: Piss off, I meant about sounding fake Jimmy: that's why I reckon breaking up and just seeing each other when we want, how we want, is the best plan Janis: makes sense Janis: anything we were gonna achieve with it, we have by now so Janis: can just ghost 'em, like Janis: not like we have to make an annoucement, they'll do the rest themselves Jimmy: school might be weird, being exes, that's the only thing Janis: yeah Janis: not really an alternative though, is there? Jimmy: Be easier to fake 💔 than 💕 probably Jimmy: not like we have every lesson together anyway Janis: and school is shit anyway so Jimmy: If you want a day off from pretending to hate me, we'll skip Janis: why do I need to hate you Jimmy: We were so in love and now we ain't #duh Jimmy: every dickhead knows you can't be friends with your ex Jimmy: unless you want them to think you're a lesbian again, like Janis: if it's the only option we've got then it is Jimmy: You don't reckon it's a good one? Janis: nah Janis: but there ain't a good one Janis: not your fault, like Jimmy: Fake 💔 or fake 💕 then? Janis: 💔 why not Janis: may as well, change of scenery Jimmy: I get it 😒 is easier than 😍 for me an' all Janis: 👌 Jimmy: sorted then Janis: yep Jimmy: [shows her a doodle he's done of them while he's stuck on this bus like okay boy your 😍 are showing here] Janis: you still got time to post that or what Jimmy: Do I? Janis: your plan Jimmy: I'm not gonna 💔 til you wanna though Janis: what are we waiting for Jimmy: Alright I'll delete now Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Owt you want off my phone you can sort in a bit Janis: don't need to Jimmy: bit rude Janis: why Jimmy: Oi, a 🥇 photographer, me Janis: don't actually need a portfolio Janis: tah Jimmy: Fine Janis: don't fancy it, posting the 🚬 through your letterbox ok Jimmy: No, there's nowt okay about that Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: what are you Janis: something's come up Jimmy: What has? Janis: does it matter? Janis: just need to go Jimmy: Why wouldn't that matter? Janis: don't be awkward Jimmy: you Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: Nothing Janis: but this plan won't just happen by itself either Janis: things I need to sort now Jimmy: Not what you said before Jimmy: you said we didn't have to do nowt Jimmy: that they'd work it out Janis: about figuring it out Janis: I'm talking about the fallout Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: well do you really wanna mope around and pretend to be 💔 Janis: actual 💔 Janis: that's the rep you want? think about it Janis: just means more faking, only with other people Jimmy: I'm not gonna get another fake girlfriend if that's what you're saying Janis: not saying you repeat this scheme Janis: but gotta be seen to be moving on, yeah Jimmy: No Janis: alright for you, isn't it Janis: who do you think they'll reckon dumped who Jimmy: You can dump me, I don't care what they think Janis: still fake, ain't it Janis: whatever way we play it Jimmy: Yeah but Jimmy: we can be real with each other Janis: I fucking hate it Janis: that it matters Jimmy: That's why I'm trying to give us a chance to start over Jimmy: Alright, we might have to give them one last show but after that whenever I see you or say owt it's real Janis: Is it though Jimmy: Why wouldn't it be? Janis: if you're trying to not see me again for real, just do that Janis: don't headfuck me Jimmy: You're the one who has come all this way to decide you don't fancy it Janis: it's you that keeps talking about hating and avoiding and all that shit Janis: how am I meant to take that Jimmy: If you don't fancy me anymore because fucking me weren't like you thought it were gonna be then alright Jimmy: but don't talk bollocks Jimmy: You know I wanna see you Janis: No Janis: it isn't that Janis: but no, I don't know that either Janis: feel like I don't know fuck all these days Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: I didn't wanna go, you have to know that, you were there Jimmy: and I wouldn't bring you here where I don't wanna fucking be if I didn't REALLY want to see you Janis: I'm Janis: stupid Janis: sorry Janis: take your pick Jimmy: just Jimmy: come back Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: it does if I've made it weirder than I already felt Jimmy: what can be weirder than not being fake with your fake girlfriend? Jimmy: I don't care, alright Janis: you thought it was weird Jimmy: What? No Jimmy: I mean actually telling you how I feel is weird Janis: oh Janis: well, agreed Jimmy: Agreeing is weird an' all, isn't it? Janis: can't take the other side and pretend this is standard for me, soz Jimmy: be weirder if it were Jimmy: You reckon I've got some fucked habits but that'd be Janis: don't be mad 'cos you're my 5th fake boyfriend, alright Janis: judgey Jimmy: That ain't funny or cute Jimmy: Shut up Janis: obviously not Janis: you approached me Janis: not doing that kinda suggestability voodoo Jimmy: OMG 🤐 Janis: yeah, think on Janis: was a pretty out of character thing to do, no? Jimmy: Paddy girls are pretty full on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: there's nowt you can say Janis: not lumping myself in with that lot Janis: and you Jimmy: neither were I Jimmy: never have done Janis: ❄ Janis: I remember Jimmy: 👍 Janis: such a dick, you were Jimmy: Nah, I am Jimmy: no need to past tense it Janis: just specifying the time Jimmy: Alright, so don't forget to add I will be such a dick too then Jimmy: for the future Janis: if I'm about, I'll be sure to let you know Jimmy: 💔 you won't be able to @ me Jimmy: but wherever Ian drags us next somebody'll say it to my face, no doubt Janis: of course, you are a dick, after-all Jimmy: and yet still properly sought after Jimmy: a brainer lad would've planned that Janis: enough room for a proper beefy 🧠 in that massive head Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 that it's empty then Jimmy: well nearly Janis: poor boy Jimmy: I'll live, babe Jimmy: 🧟💕 Janis: now it's my turn to be 💔 Jimmy: Go on and have a 🎻 too then Jimmy: might as well Janis: can't even be 😍 over how generous you are Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos you said from now on we're only saying real things Jimmy: and you shot down the 💡 in 🔥 Janis: no I didn't Janis: you didn't explain properly Jimmy: You don't wanna say real things to me Janis: where'd you get that idea from Jimmy: call it 👮🚔 senses Jimmy: or that you're well quick to not understand what I've said 'cause like I said 😒 is easier Janis: or maybe it's a weird situation that's hard to understand Janis: which we agreed on Janis: if 😒 was easier I would've thought it was the best idea ever Jimmy: Alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: so what are you saying Jimmy: nowt Janis: fuck off Janis: you reckon I can't handle real then Jimmy: You did, I were there Janis: so why are you saying I don't want it then Jimmy: No 🧠 Janis: ugh Janis: alright Jimmy: It just feels like Jimmy: you don't want any of this now Janis: that's not true Janis: why do you Janis: nah Jimmy: Go on Janis: it's Janis: like why would I have freaked out back there if I didn't want it Janis: when I thought you didn't Janis: not keeping you around as a sure thing when I don't give a fuck, am I Jimmy: I can't say how long I'll be around here anyway, you either so Jimmy: don't worry about it Jimmy: I'm just being Janis: don't mean we can't now Janis: does it Janis: every fucker else does, not like they have any more guarantee Jimmy: Not a habit of mine to leave 💔 lasses behind me Janis: behave Jimmy: I don't want to, had to for ages when you were only giving me fake 💕 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me that Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah but the 💔 has always been fake, what I'm saying Janis: don't need to think about that Jimmy: Good 'cause as far as 💭 I can do better Janis: go on then Jimmy: [the most 🔥 sext of all time obvs] Janis: can I come back Janis: please Jimmy: I said Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: just checking Jimmy: where are you? Janis: not far Janis: well a bit but not out of town far Jimmy: 🏃? Janis: if that's you, then no, think of your lungs Jimmy: not the bit of me I'm thinking with and I'm only thinking of you, not me but alright Jimmy: if you can't handle another race Janis: now I'm with ya Janis: 'course I'M gonna run Janis: but the incentive is appreciated Jimmy: I'll appreciate you better than that Janis: you better Janis: i've missed you Jimmy: 🥇 baby, you'll see Jimmy: it feels like ages since I left Jimmy: it's been ages but you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: like actual time as passed and not a day Janis: it's always been a bit like that with you Janis: weird Jimmy: but you were still always gone before I was ready for you to be Jimmy: weirder Janis: felt it too Janis: weirdest Jimmy: I Janis: yeah? Jimmy: just Jimmy: it is a mess but Jimmy: I'm glad I did ask you Jimmy: nowt else could've happened if not Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: You reckon I'm wrong? Jimmy: somehow don't picture you hanging round the CG like your twin Jimmy: obviously I could have caught you in the gym 🏆💪 but unlikely you'd be chatty then, sore loser you are Janis: ha x2 Janis: 😏 Janis: we do go to the same school, you know Jimmy: Were you gonna offer to help me with my homework or what? Janis: not porn Janis: and I'm not some bitch with pigtails and a plaid mini skirt, like Jimmy: not with that attitude Janis: 😂 Jimmy: and I've seen you in your uniform, like Jimmy: not that far off Janis: you're such an idiot Janis: but you did know then, that's good Jimmy: Know what, that you're really fit? Obviously Janis: that we were at the same school before the fateful trip Jimmy: I get that I hide them well but I've got 👀 Jimmy: I saw you, like I said Janis: and obviously I couldn't miss the welcome party so Janis: 👀 likewise Jimmy: Am I ever gonna see you today or did you get lost? Janis: I'm on my way Janis: I'm fast, works in and out of your favour, I'm afraid Janis: depends which way I'm 🏃 Jimmy: Tah for not being well fast at everything then Jimmy: be over before I did my best tricks Jimmy: and you'd be asleep like half that bus were Janis: 💔 get used to not having an audience fast Janis: and benefits of not being a lad, just go again Jimmy: can't if you're 💀💀💀 Jimmy: get me arrested that Janis: promises promises Jimmy: which you know you can hold me to Jimmy: unless your memory loss is back Janis: no but Janis: stop distracting me if you want me to get there any time soon Jimmy: Baby, I've seen you multitask Jimmy: come on Jimmy: can do so many things at once you Janis: I wanna save it for you Janis: you turned me on so it's yours Jimmy: I'm going nowhere yet but the kids and dog are Jimmy: this whole house is yours, just need to get to it Janis: serious? Jimmy: Deadly, as usual Janis: Good thing I'm only a couple streets away then Janis: hold on Jimmy: Surviving somehow Janis: 'cos you can't 💀💀💀 without me Jimmy: keep my promises, yeah, that kind of dickhead Janis: I like that kind of dickhead Jimmy: Shakespeare's got nowt on you, girl Jimmy: you better only be a couple of streets away Jimmy: don't be saying shit like that to me if I can't respond immediately Janis: [rings doorbell] Jimmy: [thank god he sent everyone away because we know what kind of hello she's getting] Janis: [lol if someone else answered that would've been very awkward for us all] Jimmy: [likewise if Twix got there before him] Janis: [distracted with food probably] Jimmy: [it's alright she can be gone too on a walk or wherever] Janis: [my boo say everyone out] Jimmy: [give them their privacy please they've had enough audiences]

[delusion-of-negation]

Ex feminist/sjw here. I can confirm that using discourse as a way to process trauma will fuck you up even more and you'll start losing touch with the real world. And there's also knowing that people you consider friends will turn on you the moment you have a ""bad"" opinion or forget to tag an extremely specific trigger you weren't aware of, which is literal hell if you have paranoia or a fear of abandonment. I cannot express how much talking to regular people offline helped me.

I think this is re these, but I'm not 100% sure, feel free to correct

it could also just be a reblog I've forgotten about, like this post

yeah, having real friends, offline or online, who won't just drop you over shit is important. I know it's popular on here to say "actually politics is an extremely valid thing to drop someone over" and to an extent that's true - if someone thinks you shouldn't have the right to get married and is always ranting about how people like you destroy the western world, totally valid to go "yeah that's not good for my health", but it really can't apply to every little thing. I have a trans friend who's had actual real life arguments with people who get pissy when they find out she still reads Harry Potter, despite it being a huge part of her journey that she's just not ready to drop over the author being a bitch. and that sucks. as humans, we want unconditional love, because we all have some fucked up part of ourselves, or some frustrating flaws, or some opinions that are wrong, or outdated, or right but against the grain, or some weird grey area - and we're all well aware of a part of ourselves like that, everybody reading this has a thing that they're going "yeah, if I posted this right now I'd be getting hate for days (or more)", and we're hardwired to wish even that part could be loved, y'know? I have really fucking bad paranoia, although not as much fear of abandonment (obviously total abandonment by everyone or a couple of specific people is still not something I'd be anywhere near happy about, I just have a LOT of paranoia so almost anything is minor by comparison), and it's a blessing when you find people you really can say anything to - I only have a couple of people who know my darkest secret, mostly online people but one who's stayed at my house and that was the only time I've ever said it explicitly aloud that I recall, and that is probably one of the best moments of my life in a weird way. it was a joke one of us made that referenced it, and it was so casual and non-judgemental, and I never thought I'd be able to have those sounds in the air without the whole world exploding, y'know? you can't process things in the same way when you're just yelling at people online, you can't trust the ever-dramatic hellscape of discord servers, full of people who care more about keeping the colour they earned their name being than having your back, to be a reliable and consistent group of friends. you need unconditional love from a myriad of sources - eg a dog, a best friend, a partner, a bro, and yourself. as fun as arguing online can be, and as valid as friendships somehow forged in the fiery pits of discord hell can be, it's not all there is to life. sometimes I get too online, and I have to step away because a whole day has disappeared to a couple of tumblr arguments and some random fun chats on discord, and whenever there's drama in a discord server I've learnt to step away unless it's absolutely necessary for me to butt in to try to drag everybody back to the real world where "they were caught liking trans porn that had a slur in the title!!" is only considered a problem to people who take issue with the existence of trans porn or what it means about the viewer's sexuality, not with the wording of the title (that's just a hypothetical but it's not an exaggeration). it's important to have people in your life who aren't going to leave you over dumb shit, and it's important to be that person to others, because if we're all dropping anyone who steps out of line and ostracising them then we end up in a "first they came for the furries and I said nothing" scenario (I know that's not the original, I just like that version), and folks get left out in the cold without people who love them. and it's important to go to the people who love you, especially irl, when shit hits the fan and you're not coping well, because going deeper and deeper into the often damaging coping mechanism of internet politics is only, as anon says, gonna hurt you more.

[fumbling-fanfics]

Okay, @honeychicana this is the one post I'm not gonna be sorry for kind of hijacking.

First of all I'm really sorry you feel like this, I wanna say don't but that's not exactly how it works. Like if you could just turn it off you would but try to think a positive thought that means something to you for every bad thought.

Example… ImI'm bitxhing about my arms and neck hurting from doing my hair but at least my hair is growing (even tho I feel like it's not) and it's healthy! How long have I wanted it to be like this!!!

Anyway, don't beat yourself up about your body. It's probably just angels and Instagram really not helping nobody since the beginning of time! Like IG what have you done for me lately (apart from let me thirst with my friends).

Fuck stockings. Stockings rip living life in the draw. What are they 0 denier? Like how are you meant to wear them unless they are sprayed onto you?

Everyone have a muffin top… Usually because stuff is made of one body shape in mind. I always wear high waisted shorts when dancing because the other shorts give me a muffin top and I end up doing a routine and trying to hold my stomach in and not pointing my toes. Then I watch the video back and hate a billion things on it including my flexed feet

Don't touch the scales. I fucking hate scales, I always have an urge to break them in the gym when I see all these girls lines up to get on them. Unless you're going weight yourself in the morning after you've woken up but not had anything to eat or drink, but pee'd and maybe poo'd then it doesn't count. And even then it doesn't. It doesn't account for if you are more hydrated or not, if you're about to start your period (sings: water weight) on your period etc. Like scales are dumb. Plus girls tend to have more fat because your body is being ready for if you're gonna have kids etc. FUCK THE POLICE AND FUCK THE SCALES. ONLY use scales when you are weighting your suitcase to see how over the weight limit your suitcase is

Who doesn't like your writing? And even then so, it's not for them. Or they are busy - notifications run away with my ass. Or they may have said which is fine and at least they are honest, most people don't have balls to be honest. Or are you assuming. Don't write for them, write for those who re-read your shit like it's crack. Who have notification turned on and get excited when they see you posted something. But also hurt when they read how hurt you are (yes I have notification on for you, judge me).

Slipping away from friends...it happens. It hurts, you wish things were the same. But things change and for the better, it just hurts when it happens. And it might not be you, maybe they are slipping away from you and you think it's you slipping but it's them…

Take time for yourself. Your ask box must be mad (mines dusting because I'm the worst) but take time to send asks to other people or just talk to people you know you can. Take time to recharge and if people don't understand that then they have an issue.

Everyone gets jealous. It's a thing, it's just about what you do with that feeling. If you can acknowledge that those others are different from you and maybe offer something different that you don't have (which is not a bad thing) then that's good. You don't want to be a jack of all trades and a master at none. Everyone is different.

You are not self centered. And you are not like your dad. Would a self centred person be able to reflect and wonder if they are self centred? You maybe share a few things in common with your dad, but you're not him. You're different person. With different experiences and a different perspective.

DO NOT HATE YOURSELF. Maybe you don't need validation, maybe you just need someone to communicate with you? And that's not a bad thing, because you can't actually read minds… and people don't communicate. It's fine to ask someone to use their words, God knows people won't shut up about other stuff...so why won't they actually talk about this…

I know I don't bug you as much as I bug others but your post worried me. Please don't spend your life hating yourself, you're worth more than that. Trust me!!!!

Don't make me get on a plane and fight you…really, don't make me get on a plane...Mainly because I have to pay for my mom's birthday holiday and I'm so broke I probably won't make it on the holiday (I'll die of starvation) and you'll have to go for me 😂 (I'm so broke can't even get back to dancing… Have to go dance to make extra money to then be able to get back to dancing)...

(also I can't drive...so what does this gif even mean)

ok I guess we’re back to hating our body now and by we I mean mE

I wanted to buy some lingerie or something and tried on a black set that I had bought previously just because and I ripped the stockings 🙃

And my muffin top was spilling out and so I got upset and decided to rip it even more

I had so many bowls of buttery potatoes this weekend and am now reflecting and looking at my stomach and am trying to resist the urge to pull out the scale, because I had lost a few pounds before but now I know it’s probably gone back up.

I also think my friends don’t like my writing anymore or don’t care about me and I’m slipping away from them and I’m also feeling anxious because I want to be there for everybody when they need it but I was late answering some asks from friends earlier and what if that’s too late and my support looks fake or forced or something now?

Tell me why tf I get anxious and jealous when I see my friends interact with others that aren’t me like who tf am I, why am I like this, why do I need constant validation and reassurance, it’s selfish and stupid.

Oh my god what if this is me becoming self centered like my dad? Oh my god I can’t even think about it, I’m so much like him already oh my god I’m a terrible person.

What if I’m just being dramatic about all these things because I need validation, like I feel so fake like idk idk I just hate myself in every way, I hate that I need people to tell me they aren’t going to leave me, I hate that I even question that in the first place, I hate that I don’t look how I want, I hate that I don’t write enough or interact enough or am not there enough for my friends i hate that I am me

[m0th-punk]

This is something that's been on my mind for a long time. Long ramble under the cut

TL;DR: Grazer-razor has some of the worst black and white mentality I've ever seen and I can tell he has never critically examined his biases a day in his life.

Because I'm a terrible little gremlin who can't leave well enough alone, I've been reading these posts

Ignoring the absolute stupidity of these statements (I'm pretty sure the lack of rainbow logos is because in many middle eastern countries, homosexuality is a crime and these companies just want to make money. But I'mnot going into the nuances and implications of rainbow capitalism today.), something stood out to me.

Does Grazer... genuinely think nobody has ever criticized the Muslim faith? That we all ignore the homophobia present within the religion just because they're a minority? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've seen even some of the most staunch leftists criticize things like their horrible treatment of homosexuality or the rampant sexism often sanctioned by radicals. Even other Muslims, especially women and lgbt+ Muslims, have been critical of these things.

It wouldn't shock me if Grazer believedthat anyone who supports Muslims believes they can do no wrong. After all, he thinks any criticism of Christianity is hatred, and dismisses any harmful things Christians do as not being "real" Christianity in a classic case of the "No True Scotsman" fallacy.

Note how he didn't even respond to the first asks comments, just accused them of being me (because obviously any time someone sees his blog it's all my fault /s)

So it seems like in Grazer's mind, there are only two options when it comes to religion: Uncritically praise and defend everything a religion does no matter how heinous it is and justify it because it's done in a God's name, or condemn anyone who practices it as hateful terrorists. Because he doesn't see people doing the former for Christians, he automatically assumes that they're doing the latter, and vice versa for Muslims.

Also note how he gets mad when muslim faith is "respected" (again, homosexuality is criminalized in many of these areas) but then demands a secular children's show cater to his religion for the sake of his precious childhood.

(Also, can we just talk about the absolute fucking cruelty in this answer? There are people out there that had their childhoods ruined by abuse, illness, losing loved ones, homelessness, poverty, bullying, near-death experiences, having their countries torn apart by war, a shitty foster care system, teen pregnancies, and so many other things that can absolutely destroy a life.  Grazer's was ruined by…  *checks notes* a cartoon character supporting gay rights and a drag queen singing a cutesy children's song.  So yeah, if that's the worst part of his childhood he's pretty damn lucky, and the fact that he has the gall to still complain absolutely makes him selfish and ignorant. It's disrespectful, plain and simple, and if he were truly a good Christian he'd have some compassion.)

Okay, so Grazer has some weird "rules for me but not for thee" shit when it comes to religion. This isn't news. Where am I going with this?

Well, turns out he has this opinion about more than just religion. Know how I know this? His response to ESRB ratings and trigger warnings.

So it seems like Grazer sees the ESRB as some sort of moral compass, in a way. Something being rated E or E10 means it's pure and good and wholly unproblematic, while anything higher means it's evil and disgusting and he can't even look at it.

This is further confirmed by this post, where he flat-out states he sees the ESRB as deeming what things are and are not morally acceptable.

Now Grazer, I'm gonna explain this as best as I can, because it seems like you don't quite understand this. Read very carefully.

This is not the purpose of the ESRB rating system.

I repeat, this is NOT the purpose of the ESRB rating system.

The ESRB does not decide on what is and is not morally correct. It simply says "This game contains these topics, and as such is most suitable for people in this age group.". That's it. It's a guideline, not a rule.

Let's take cartoon violence, for instance. It's a very common warning the ESRB puts on games. Almost every game from Mario to Sonic to Crash Bandicoot and even Monster Tale has this warning. These games are all rated E for everyone. Does this mean those games are promoting violence to children, or claiming things like Bowser kidnapping Peach or Pinstripe trying to gun down Crash are perfectly okay and morally correct? Of course not. It's simply saying that these games contain mild, non-graphic violence, but most children should be able to handle seeing it.

On the other side of the coin, let's take a look at the warnings for nudity and sexual themes. Most games that contain these topics are rated T at the lowest and AO at the highest. This obviously isn't saying that nudity and sex are inherently bad or evil. All it's saying is that these topics are best handled by adults (And, regardless of morality, it is illegal to distribute sexual content to minors unless it's meant to be educational, like a health class textbook).

A few extra points:

. Games can be rated different things in different countries. Different countries have different regulations. Do you know why the blood in Danganronpa is pink? It's because in Japan, games with excessive amounts of blood and gore are given a Z rating (Japan's equivalent to an AO rating). They got around this by making the blood pink, securing the game its desired M rating. Meanwhile here in America, Mortal Kombat is allowed to show as many graphic, brutal deaths as it wants and still receive an M rating.

. ESRB ratings are not legally enforceable. I was so convinced as a 16 year old that the employees at gamestop would try to card me or something when I was picking up a copy of Bayonetta, and I was surprised when they simply rang me up in two seconds, no questions asked. It doesn't happen. For fuck's sake, one of the first games I ever played, at the tender age of four, was Soul Edge. A T rated game. The only instance ESRB ratings are legally enforced is in the case of AO ratings, as these games often contain incredibly graphic violenceor sexual content. If this outrage is coming from the idea that certain ratings will keep younger people from playing these games from a legal standpoint, don't worry. A nine year old is not gonna get arrested for playing Among Us. Just don't buy them GTA San Andreas or Leisure Suit Larry and everything will be fine.

. No two consumers are exactly alike. While one 13 year old may be perfectly fine with the jumpscares in Amnesia, another may be too scared to even go near the piano in Super Mario 64. That doesn't mean either of these games is rated incorrectly. The ESRB is there, once again, as a recommendation for the average consumer, and doesn't take individual experience into account. An individual experience is not their responsibility. It's also on parents (or you yourself!) To decide what the consumer can or can't handle.

"But Haley," I hear you say, "What if this piece of media DOES contain something morally bad?"

Well it's simple. You are allowed to like things AND still criticize the bad parts of it.

Hold on now, I'm not telling you that it's perfectly alright to enjoy things like Birth of a Nation or anything like that! Contrary to popular belief, there are some pieces of media that are truly too steeped in hatred and morally reprehensible things to be supported, even through a critical lense. The only merit things like that have is to serve as a warning: This is a terrible thing made for terrible reasons, and we should not allow it to happen again.

But outside of those rare circumstances, it's not so cut and dry.

Let's take a piece of media i actually enjoy, for instance, so you know I'm not a hypocrite: Persona 5.

Persona 5 is easily one of my favorite games in the Persona series. It does a lot of interesting stuff, the artstyle and soundtrack are (in my opinion) the best in the series, and overall it's very enjoyable for me.

But, like anything, it's not perfect. I'm incredibly uncomfortable with the hypocrisy the game has in regards to the sexualization of teenagers. While Kamoshida is rightfully condemned for his sexualization of teenage girls and Ann's persona awakening comes from rejecting this objectification, the game and story undermine it by not only putting Ann in a sexually revealing outfit, but also making light of Ryuji's sexual harassment by adult men (Allegedly Persona 5 Royal tries to fix this by making the men drag enthusiasts who think Ryuji would look good in drag and giving them more sympathetic personalities, but it's still really weird and hypocritical of the game to do this.). The teenage protagonist is also allowed the option to date adult women, including his teacher, and the game rarely if ever touches on the problems with this.

The game's homophobia also left a bad taste in my mouth. Aside from the aforementioned men who sexually harass Ryuji, the only other canon LGBT+ character is a bar owner who is either a drag queen or a trans woman (or both?). Sure, she's portrayed as being kind and protective of the protagonist, but there isn't much room to interact with her or learn more about her. On top of that, not only can the protagonist not romantically pursue his male friends (A feature that even the SECOND persona game had), he's not even allowed to give them gifts or platonically show affection towards them without the dialogue mocking him. The game that allows a teenage boy to date his teacher won't allow him to simply give his male friends a present.

And yet, despite those criticisms, I do still enjoy the game. I don't consider the game irredeemable garbage based on those poorly handled topics alone. And I also understand that for some people, those topics make them so uncomfortable that they don't want to play the game at all, and I completely respect that.

Criticizing the things you enjoy is not only normal, it's oftentimes healthy. Being able to step back and say "I like this thing, but I don't like the bad things it's done. This thing would be better if these issues were fixed." Sure, sometimes some people tend to complain a bit too much about the media they supposedly enjoy, but for the most part being able to acknowledge the bad with the good is a good skill to have.

Oh, wait, all of this means nothing because Grazer thinks that critically enjoying things is nothing more than an excuse to consume media he doesn't personally agree with. Okay then.

So if he can't even realize something as simple as "it's okay to criticize some parts of media that you otherwise enjoy", how can he be expected to look critically at a religion that he's been raised in and around all his life?

Soooo yeah, Grazer has some serious problems with black and white thinking that he refuses to acknowledge, further worsened by the fact that he's practically been brainwashed into believing that Christianity is the ultimate moral compass that everyone should follow. I understand that this tends to be an issue for neurodivergent people, but it's not an excuse for the actions he does that are related to these things (sending death threats to the ESRB, antagonizing others, etc.