#made one small edit to the 'Scrabble' one to make it so Smiler and Victor were texting each other

[victorluvsalice]

Holy Shit, It’s ACTUALLY Incorrect Valicer Quotes

Because @offwithhxrhead introduced me to this Incorrect Quote Generator, and I promptly began playing around with it a LOT:

Victor: What are you writing? Alice: The Queen of Hearts wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting her know it's private information. Smiler, looking over Alice's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

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Alice: How did you even get in here? Smiler: Victor's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Smiler's door"! Victor: I’m closing the window.

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Victor: Can we talk about that mass email you sent? Smiler: Why? It was important. Victor: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit". Alice, shrugging: The people need to know.

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Victor: So, Smiler is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Alice: Why? Victor: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row. Smiler, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

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Alice: I’m this close to falling in love with Victor. Smiler: Your fingertips are touching. Alice: Exactly.

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Victor, about Smiler: I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with them is way funnier. Alice: That's what any god probably thinks about me.

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Smiler: [texting Victor] We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Victor: [texting] Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Smiler: [texting] Not when you’re playing with Alice, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

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Smiler: What’s it like being tall? Smiler: Is it nice? Smiler: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Victor: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. Alice: It was one time!

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Alice: Smiler, what do you have? Smiler: A KNIFE! Alice: Okay, have fu- Victor: NO!

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Alice: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Smiler: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Alice: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Victor, recording: This is so cute.