#macrobbodyimage

[qwedfas]

I'm very hairy for a girl. It's not just hair in the normal places like underarms, legs, arms etc. but i have quite a lot on my STOMACH and BACK too! + it's even more visible since I have black hair! My sisters barely have any hair and I just feel really awkward.

Hi there lovely!

It is completely normal and natural for girls to be hairy as well. Please don’t let that affect you too much, because really, it’s societal beauty standards that have really gotten to our culture, which has a really negative effect on us, unfortunately. Because people think it’s awkward or ‘not right’ for girls to have body hair, they may go on and do procedures, and all this just seems to add up more and more and standards for beauty become even narrower and more shallow. This is unfortunate, please don’t let these societal attitudes affect your amazing self.

If you are still really uncomfortable with your body hair, perhaps you can talk to your mother or dermatologist? But really, please understand it’s natural. Like really, this is a ‘man-made’ thing that skin with no hair is usually sought after. I bet you are an amazing person with a wonderful personality, and the rest (appearance and all…) is just surface level.

Love,

FAM xx

[qwedfas]

omg fam why are parents and family friends so mean to me about my weight. like I would be sitting at a table talking to my family and then my family friends would bud in and say stuff like " omg you gained weight again" and start saying all these hurtful things. I try to hold it in and keep my calm because at the end of the day they are adults and have to respect them even if I don't want. I just want to cry and yell at them bc its so mean they always embarrass me in front of everyone

Hey,

We’re sorry to hear you’re experiencing this! In times like this, it is important to let your parents and family friends know how you feel about their comments or even just telling them to stop can get the point across. Stand up for yourself. Respecting them doesn’t mean you let them say whatever they want. Sometimes in these situations it is good to be blunt (but also remember to be polite), for example saying “can you please stop talking about my weight” and walking off. If that doesn’t work, you should try to have a conversation with your parents in private. If you’re not too fond of confrontation you could try writing a letter or getting a friend/sibling to tell you parents for you.

You don’t have to put a word in if that feels too directly confronting, of course it’s understandable that you’ll want to respect older people. You can just walk away, there’s no need for you to listen to anything that hurts you.

We hope this has helped you!

FAM xx

[qwedfas]

hi !! recently, i've started eating less than i usually would and my parents have noticed. they think i'm purposely trying to skip meals or lose weight and although it's true that i'm trying to lose weight, i'm not trying to do it in an unhealthy way. i used to eat a lot and i know that was unhealthy but i guess my parents got used to me eating like that and now they keep forcing me to eat that much too. what can i do to convince them i'm fine?

Hey,

It may be worth visiting your family doctor about this, get a checkup to make sure everything is fine. Not only will this doctor reassure your parents letting them know you’re okay but it will also reassure you, you may even be able to get some professional advice on how to lose weight in the healthiest way and know what diet is best for you.

Love,FAM xx

[qwedfas]

i hate my body so much. it's so weird. so my arms and legs are very very very, i'm underweight and people call my anorexic. my stomach, which ppl cant see under clothing, is fat, a large bump of fat has started to form. my waist and stomach is bigger than my bust and hips, so i have this weird figure. i've gained alot of weight on the holidays, i stress eat ALOT as school makes me anxious. people tell me that i dont eat enough, but i do, it's just all the fat goes to my stomach and nowhere else

Hey there honey,

Although we would love to help you personally we believe this is a very serious issue, which we definitely aren’t qualified to provide you with the right answers for. So we strongly encourage and recommend that you seek out Gil (one of the councilors), someone else qualified at school that you trust or your local GP. One thing that you can do is instead of focusing on how your figure compares to others’, try to celebrate your own skin as bodies come in all sorts of beautiful shapes and sizes. However, your health is our number one priority so please try to seek some help asap.

Love,

FAM xx

[qwedfas]

How do I lose weight in a healthy and positive way?

Hi there,

It would be best to consult your doctor or another health professional such as nutritionist/dietitian as FAM are not qualified health professionals, so we are unable to give you advice as we are not aware of your personal circumstances and how this might affect how you lose weight and what is an appropriate plan for you.

Love,FAM xx

[qwedfas]

tips to help with self confidence/self love? even if ive studied for a test, i doubt myself so much that i end up doing really badly. i've been told to have more confidence and appreciate myself more, but it isnt easy. every time i try to tell myself "im not that bad at this" i feel sick to my stomach as if it's super wrong for feeling confident in myself. like, i feel so uncomfortable that i actually feel physically sick. i'd like to be able to not doubt myself without feeling like throwing up.

Hey there,Having self-confidence and showing self-love is something that can take a lot of time and we understand how hard it can be. Everyone’s experience with self-confidence, or lack thereof, is different because usually, a person’s struggle with it will have arisen from causes that may vary from person to person. In saying that, overcoming a lack of self-confidence may involve different techniques that may work well for some and not so much for others.It might help to try and understand where your lack of self-confidence comes from so you can better target how to overcome it. Does it arise from your own personal expectations? Parental pressures? Content that you see on the media? All these different things can have different and adverse effects on a person’s mental state and perception of self and this might be something that you’re experiencing now.We’re glad that you’ve acknowledged this and that you want to try and love yourself more and have more confidence in yourself. Right now you might feel sick when you show yourself some love but if you continue to do it, your brain will soon believe it and the discomfort that you feel will eventually go away. Maybe it’ll help to have some kind of mantra? Something positive and encouraging that you can repeat to yourself when you’re approaching different tasks to increase that self-confidence and surround yourself with positivity and love to overcome the feelings of discomfort. It might help to pay Gillian (school counsellor available Monday-Friday) a visit as she may be able to provide some more techniques on how to approach this and feel more comfortable with showing yourself some love because you deserve to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.With love,FAM xx

[qwedfas]

How do i make my legs look good while wearing dresses/skirts or shorts?

Hey,

Depending on what your opinion of ‘good’ is, the strategies that will suit your preference will be different. For example, choosing slightly longer skirts/shorts will cover the thickest parts of your thighs and showing a bit of socks at your ankles will make your calves seem slimmer. High waisted shorts/skirts will make your legs appear longer overall and so do shoes with low vamps.

If you don’t know what a shoe vamp is, check out this link for an explanation: https://insideoutstyleblog.com/2016/08/what-is-shoe-vamp-and-why-does-it-matter.html

Remember that your body is beautiful regardless of what shape it’s in so keep loving yourself!

We know this is easier said than done but if you’re actively trying to be confident in your body and in the clothes you wear, that confidence will shine through and no matter what clothes you wear, you’ll be wearing the clothes, not the clothes wearing you (if that makes sense).

Love,

FAMxx

[qwedfas]

Hi FAM, so I used to be really fat, but I had recently lost 10kg.I used to have no self confidence, and I thought I would gain some, but I still feel disgusted . I was eating with my family and then my parents suddenly said 'stop eating, ur getting fatter'. I bursted into tears and ran into my room. I had heard my parents talk about my body before, and told me that it was all my fault, to stop crying and toughen the fuck up. I feel like I have lost all hope. How do I regain my self confidence?

Hi there lovely,

We are so sorry that this is how you are feeling. Your parents only want you to be the best self as they perceive that you can be, and it’s not their fault because this could be a sign that they may be struggling with body negativity themselves. They are not trying to cause you pain.

However, when their comments are hurting you, don’t hesitate to correct them and explain your point of view. Let them know how you feel when they make those comments, and explain that you do in fact feel beautiful in your body exactly how it is. Odds are that your mum or dad don’t want to get in the way of your journey to self love, and will benefit from the breath of fresh air that your body positivity provides them. Don’t be afraid to educate them about the body positivity movement!

As you said, it is hard to feel self-love at this moment for you, don’t beat yourself up for that either! It’s perfectly normal to be upset to hear these comments, it’s okay to feel offended, and it’s okay to ignore them! Your feelings are completely valid so remember to take care of them and yourself. Give yourself some time to release that emotion or vent to a trusted listener. Set time aside to take care of yourself, give yourself compliments in the mirror, reach out for help friends, fam, the school counsellors, a therapist, etc.

Always remember that you are brilliant, beautiful and worthy person no matter what shape you are.

Love,

FAMxx

[qwedfas]

hey fam, why do I have so many moles on my face? how do I stop them from getting bigger? and when can I get it removed is it when I'm 18?

Hey,

This situation sounds all too familiar to me hahahah.

A quick google search gave me this: Moles occur when cells in the skin grow in a cluster instead of being spread throughout the skin. These cells are called melanocytes, and they make the pigment that gives skin its natural color. Moles may darken after exposure to the sun, during the teen years, and during pregnancy.

As for making sure they don’t get bigger or darker, make sure to apply sunscreen when you’re outside; slip slop slap. Don’t pick at them!! Also measure and photograph any larger ones, to make sure they aren’t growing. It is also good to get them checked by a doctor to rule out any chance of melanoma.

As for getting them removed, I’m pretty sure you don’t have to be 18, but you’ll definitely need parental consent. Most places don’t suggest getting moles removed before 18 as your body is still going through hormonal changes, and who knows your mole might fade away during that time.

Remember FAM is not your local GP, and you should always consult a real qualified doctor first before taking on any of our medical ‘advice’. :)

Keep in mind that imperfection is a kind of beauty and your unique features can be perfectly ‘you’, so keep loving yourself for being perfectly imperfect:)

Love,

FAM xx

[qwedfas]

Hey FAM. My body is so annoying, I eat hardly anything, am healthy and exercise, but still look fat. Honestly Im happy w how I look, bcuz I know it'll go away when I exercise, but my friends and parents call my fat and it hurts. im not even close to being overweight, but I literally eat one thing (eg. Orange) and my stomach is instantly fat. All my fat sits in rlly stupid places. It's srsly annoying watching all these Asians with fast metabolisms (don't mean to be racist) eat so much unhealthy f

Hi there!

Sorry for the late reply!

First of all you mentioned, you eat hardly anything? Just want you to remember that this is not always the best way to keep healthy. You need to eat. Just not a lot of junk food. You need the energy to sustain you through the day, so please don’t stop yourself from eating. Regular exercise is good. It sounds to me, as though you’re keeping a healthy lifestyle. You need to keep in mind though that beauty is undefined and comes in many sizes, shapes and forms.

If your friends and families are saying things that are hurting you, I suggest being honest with them and tell them that whatever they are saying has a serious, negative impact on you and asking them to stop. I’m sure that those that love you will understand and take consideration of your feelings.

On the other hand, we can’t always stop negative comments directed at us through our life, whether it’s from strangers or your family. Certainly they can be hurtful but it’s how we perceive these comments and allow them to impact us that result in a negative frame of mind - be confident in yourself, understand that you are fine the way you are and then while you may acknowledge the comments, you know that they cannot hurt you because how can they when you can love who you are?

Something else I would like to share is something that I realised only recently on myself: people can sometimes have an distorted vision of their body and perceive some inconspicuous part of their body as a serious defect. Not saying that you necessarily have this problem, but maybe that problem you think you have with your stomach is not actually that bad.

Love,

FAM xx

[qwedfas]

my eating disorder is getting out of control. i've been in therapy for it for years and it's not getting better. i binge and i restrict and i'm 'losing weight' but i'm too fat to have an eating disorder anymore. my parents comment on how i'm still too skinny, but i feel like i've gained so much weight. i'm so sick of feeling like this.

Hey there,

Dealing with an eating disorder is a really complex process and we can only imagine the things that you are feeling with regards to this. It may be that you are dealing with many conflicting feelings about food, your weight (and weight fluctuations), and also trying to manage what people say to you about your looks.

We can understand that it’s super hard to not compare yourself to others, particular idealised models and celebrities as we are exposed to these things everyday. Remember that it’s most important to be healthy and then feeling comfortable about yourself comes afterwards.

Although you may feel as if therapy isn’t working, keep going at it and keep trying. Sometimes it can take a long time, but the eventual outcome of being healthy is absolutely 100% worth it. There’s no doubt that it can be frustrating and hard sometimes but continue to push through it and putting in the hard work towards getting better.

If you still feel like you’re struggling and stuck on what to do, we highly recommend contacting a wellbeing counsellor whether it be Gillian (bal@macrob.vic.edu.au) or any one of the others as they’ll be able to provide professional guidance and hopefully get you back on track!

Lots of love,

FAM x

[qwedfas]

hey fam! do you know where to get binders in the city? i can't buy them online and get them delivered because then my parents would know. also how much are they usually?

Hey Anon,

I’m not sure how much you know about binding, so sorry if I’m bindersplaining to you here! There’s actually quite a few different ways you can bind, beyond the conventional binder. I’ve included an an article below which goes over a couple different methods.

https://www.minus18.org.au/index.php/resources/sexuality-info/item/441-how-to-bind-your-chest

If you’re looking for a ‘conventional’ binder, the price of a decent binder can range anywhere from about $45-100 depending on what you need. Binders vary in quality and cost - a bad binder can be really bad for your health. If you’re not in the financial position to afford that price, I know Y gender and Minus 18 usually run a joint clothing swap a couple of times a year (every school holidays), where there have low cost/free binders.  Though currently I can’t see an upcoming event on their page. Perhaps you could message them and see if they are still running them?

https://www.facebook.com/Ygender/

Though actually on their website (https://www.ygender.org.au/trans-youth-support-kits) it says if you are in need any gender affirming items (i.e. a binder) if you email them, they we’ll be able to help you out and you may be able to pick one up from their office if you don’t want to get one posted to you because of your situation.

Their page on binding is also useful too: https://www.ygender.org.au/a-guide-to-binding-safely

Where to buy them in the city: Honestly I don’t know personally know of any places where you can buy them from in the city and I had a search on the internet and couldn’t find them either. I don’t personally wear a binder but I know some people who do and they both bought theirs online. Perhaps message Minus18 and Ygender are more informed than FAM and would know where to buy them in the city if you can.

Another option: I know you don’t want to buy them online because you don’t want your parents to know, but have you thought about ordering one online and asking a friend if you can get it delivered to their house instead, so you can just pick it up from them (or if you feel more comfortable with it I’m sure someone in FAM would be willing to help you out). I know you might not be able to do this anyway, but if you want to, here is a link of where to buy reliable binders from:

https://www.ygender.org.au/where-to-get-a-binder

Edit - Feedback from an ask: 

hey for the person asking about the binders - i was in the same situation and went to ygender - they measure for size, you can choose style/colour and you can pick it up from there (its close to the city) and if you cant afford it they can help cover costs. highly recommend saved my life

Hope this helps!

Love,FAM xx

[qwedfas]

ik that sometimes people want big boobs cause it looks good and all but like I want mine to be smaller. Like everything I wear they have to pop out and like its such a pain in sport as well.

Hey,

This is a struggle that goes both way. You have some people unsatisfied with their smaller than average boobs then you have the people with very large ones who generally get back pain and have trouble doing sports (actually everyone with large boobs). It’s definitely a pain to have large boobs but the best thing you can do for yourself is to buy the correct bra sizes as well as different bras for different uses (e.g. sport ones for activities). The right sizing is very important in not just your general comfort, but for you to be able to support your front correctly.

You could also try exercising! Boobs contain fat which can be lost (this isn’t true for everyone though), so perhaps doing more sport can be beneficial (positive homeostasis!) to making your boobs smaller and less of a burden.

In terms of them standing out, it really depends on your the clothing you wear. Avoid skin-tight clothes and try buying more loose fitting, or those shirts that have ruffles or creases. Jackets and hoodies are also your best friend (comfort + doesn’t matter how big it looks).

Hope this helps!

Love,FAMxx

[qwedfas]

why are some people such all rounders like its so unfair? They are pretty, popular, smart, sporty

Hi there!

It does sometimes feel unfair but where would the fun in life be if everyone was good at everything. There would be no adventure! Also although sometimes you think someone has it all, remember you don’t know what someone is going through until you walk in their shoes. What we’re trying to say is although it may seem that way, no one is perfect.

In terms of ‘prettiness’, this is a term that can describe anything, not just physical beauty. It could be used to describe how someone acts or someone’s personality. Looking at intelligence, if you go to Mac.Rob then you are already considered academically ahead. So with everyone having very different talents and traits, this is what makes each of us unique and beautiful. Never forget that :)

Love,

FAMxx

[qwedfas]

Hey guys! This is just a general question about body image. Guess im quite self conscious haha. Firstly how do you get a thigh gap? Or if you have a small one (which i think i do) how do you emphasise it to make it more obvious? Like any specific clothes to wear etc? Might be hard to show it off with skirts and dresses though i guess rip. Also with umm (soz this might be a bit awks) small boobs how do you make them stand out lol? Thank u!!! Xxx

Hi there,

Believe it or not, thigh gaps can actually be genetically influenced and also based on your body structure (like how wide your hips are) so there’s actually not much you can control to get one. However, these are a few ways you can tone your thighs: cut down on junk food and eat more fiber, include some superfoods into your diet (kale, quinoa, salmon, blueberries, etc). Try butterfly stretches where you put your soles of your feet together while sitting on the ground and lowering your thighs until they touch the floor. You can also do Pilates leg lifts where you lie on your side and lift your leg up, and inner thigh presses. Don’t do exercises that bulk up your thighs (eg squats) though, cardio is best to tone your thighs. You can slip on shapewear or more body-hugging tights to make your thighs look slimmer, or wear skinny jeans! Having said all of this, please do not worry too much about getting a thigh gap as it can be unhealthy for you to think a lot about it. It’s just something some people have but no matter what some others do they can’t achieve it, but either is completely fine! :)

You can wear push up bras to make your boobs stand out. Also practice having a good posture, extend your spine so you’re standing upright and also having your shoulders more toward the back which accentuates your chest. You can do more upper pectoral muscle work, and push ups are really good for this! Another thing is that if you skim and shape your core you can make your boobs look larger in comparison. Wear clothes with a detailed neckline - lace, ruffles, pleats all make your chest look bigger. And if you really want to you can contour them. But once again, you don’t have to make your boobs stand out or make them look bigger. Any boob size is good as long as they’re healthy :) Also your boobs may still be growing especially if you’re around the age of puberty.

Hope this helps!

Love, FAM xx

[qwedfas]

To the girl who feels down 'cause of her breasts: ur not alone girl. My boobs are NONEXISTENT, literal airplane track, they've never grown, and never will. But hey, at least we won't have to worry about the back aches and saggy boobs, right! Keep ur chin up! Everything'll be okay :D

Hey lovely,

Thanks for sending this in! We really hope she sees this :) FAM XX