#m.dilone silva

[exmateriadead]

Just this once, the Universe responds. / dilone + nithael

the night within | @armsdealing

"Dilone, can you tell us what happened?"

                                                    ***

She wanted to kill him. Perhaps killing wasn't the right word now for what she was capable of doing or what she wanted. Devour? That sounded too sensuous as if she was empty without him- without it.

Dilone wanted nothing more than to break free, she thirsted but couldn't drink, she wanted to look at the sun yet the canopy of the tree's shielded her eyes. All she knew was the dark that surrounded her, the emerald green gloom, the webs and roots that measured from as long as a river to as thin as a loose thread that cradled and coaxed in,-deep within the forest and within her. For so long she melted in with the umber soil, her skin a perk of ebony brown was now riddled with the purest earth, she was darker more precious somehow.

Dilone was planted into the forest, the roots of trees growing around her, keeping her still, foliage and unknown plants growing from holes that were wounds that were his doing. Her cranium was now stalked with beads and patches of archaea as her body now lives like a storm of extremities.

And all she can think about is him.

It's not like she can think, first of all, she's dead. It's more of a sentient concept like right until a chick in an egg knows it needs to hatch, that type of thinking, that type of knowing so intrinsic so molecular Dilone knows after some time that she needs to breathe and she can't breathe if she's planted if she can't grow.So, she does. Everything builds on itself and then it becomes uncomfortable all of a sudden. She cannot stay planted. The roots around her body are cages and every movement, every bug exploring her new body, every drop of soil, the dark vines that construct themselves as earthly fleshy umbilical cords start to hurt.  It hurts being born, this time around.

And it's not like she knows who "him" even really is. She was viciously  eaten you see, killed, devoured, left as scraps for later but never meant to survive. She remembers that much when she crashed her car into the ditch and then he came for her.Maybe he was always coming, perhaps that’s where she was wrong.

"You got what I want, I got what you want." She sings to herself softly."Dilone, do you know what year it is, where you are?"

His voice called her out by name in a way that when he spoke it was human and inhuman all the same she could swear of it. Her name in his voice it was so familiar she didn't know whether to run to or away from him.

Anyway, now she hatches.From the earth, she grows out of the soil and hears a scream that cannot belong to her but it does. When she gains vision she sees hands and feet, and thighs and breasts that cannot belong to her but they do. This time, he's just inside her. She can feel it, however minuscule it may be her killer is a part of her new body crawling around its new home.

She cries again loud almost like an animal but no such animal could contain a sound like this, a shrill new to the ears of the earth. Her throat is raw already with it, the forest yields its movements and listens. Her tears of blood coming out of bony white sockets where her eyes should be, and through all of it, Dilone does not know if she's crying from the pain, from the loneliness or for him.

Ten years pass, she hasn't gone hungry since she's come back. Of course, it's the passing humans she uses to feed on, biting and pecking through them like a crow, tearing them apart, strings of flesh and organs, that's all they are to her so she eats them that way too. Dilone learns of differences in taste as when she was human, like when you realize apples and tomatoes don't taste the same even if they're both red. Humans don't all taste the same either, that's for sure. But those thoughts, the memories she had before aren't gone they just aren't as important now.

"Your name is Dilone Giselle Silva. You were born in Lovelocke, Nevada. You had two sisters and a baby brother. You and your family took in your cousin Noa after her mom was sent away. You were gifted in school in everything you did, you ran track, you were in the debate team, ranked at the top of your class, graduated college with a BAs in linguistics and criminal justice joined the FBI. And on March 3rd of 2010, it says in your file here, you went missing driving from Louisiana to Nevada. You called 911 dispatchers at 3:07 am but hung up after 45 seconds. Dilone? Do you not remember any of this?"

Now as she lured a wandering thirty-something-year-old man with a straggling mustache and a buzzcut out from the Rainier Bridge and down the passway near the hiking trail. This feeding is messy but she doesn't eat all of him, just enough that when she latches on to his broken throat there isn't a sound, she eats him like a bear would and promises to come back for him when she can, to burn the rest of his body, that way the forest can't claim him. Because who wants to come back like this?

Dilone looks around the room, there are three windows and all of them show a grey sky, one of them the one on the far right lightens a little. She sees a small slash of sun peaking between the looming clouds.

"Sun, the sun...don't shine on me." She whispers, "rain, the rain don't rain on me." Dilone sighs looking at the agent who'd been questioning her for hours now, "what am I?"

At the river, she washes from the blood and the clots of flesh between her sharpened teeth. No one has taught her this except maybe the forest, it talks to her at times. But she's figured out the basics on her own, the hard stuff earned her hunters and humans and all kinds of things trying to understand a creature as herself- as itself. But, she hates to disappoint before they can get an answer so she eats them too.

She looks upon herself in the reflection of the river Dilone molds like moss and refracts she sees herself, the dark skinned woman with no eyes, the hips shaped like danger, her fingers soft lines that can burrow through anything, she sees what could be, and she sees him and the faces he wears and the faces she will wear. Looking away from herself now there are no questions in her head, all she knows now is that she's passed an outlier, creatures like her should not be alive. And of course, she was coming for him she had to, didn't she? What world was he living in, if he didn't think of it?

"I hope he thinks of me as I think of him." "Who?" The interrogator asks with a shroud of delight, it's the first sentence she may have said that had made any sense all day. Dilone smiles wearily, how was she supposed to put the words together in this human language? How was she to describe him, the indescribable?

                                                     ***

It's the first night in a week since they've put her into the holding room, she hasn't touched the water or eaten the food they've given her, it goes mostly unnoticed. Dilone never questioned being locked in the room after she was found, because she knew what the humans were trying to do. What questions are running through their minds. Which terrorist group, which cult, does the Bureau need to know about this? All questions that don't matter to her now. It slightly bemuses her to think that she was this particle in the universe that she was so microscopic she needn't see her reflection or ask how much space she was taking in the world because as a human it wasn't much. But now she was the space between, she was the unknown.

Now she saw the room widen, the world as many. Dilone looked out one of the three windows in her room and down to the forests below it was dark now and she could hear they were whispering. Their voices creating a current she could see with her own new eyes her long lashes blinking up at the moon. She didn't have to close her eyes and feel or guess what was out there, she could look out these windows and know everything she wanted to know. She could see even as a dead girl, she could see it all and take it.

No doors needed to come off the hinges, no keys were required for her to escape that room. She wanted out so she was out. Dilone walked the path outside the Venetian Isles satellite station outside New Orleans. She walked and walked until she found it.

A gas station of all things that didn't serve as such, an indicator being with the "NO GAS" sign nailed on the front door, but she walked in anyway and wandered the isles. She saw no one of her interest, even the cashier didn't seem appetizing enough, all the humans here looked off. They weren’t ghostly perhaps gangling, looming figures poor souls that always waited for something to come. 

Even with the watchful eye of the cashier, she strutted around the front of the store and leaned over the counter which drew him by surprise. "Blacks, and a lighter please." She asked with her soft voice. He obliged, rang her up and Dilone paid with cash she took from that guy she fed on back by the Rainier Bridge.

She left the store promptly and started to smoke, not that she was good at it or that she ever did smoke before, but just because.

She was throwing away the bud before she heard the lyric singing in her ear.

Forever mine, cuz I'm so glad cuz it gets better with time...

And just because the universe listens, there he was. Standing by his car parked next to the gas pumps that didn't work. He leaned against his car as if he had meant to be as if he was there all along and she didn't notice before.

The music glinted into the night air as it grooved from the stereo of his car, she faintly smiled listening to the last song she heard when he came for her that night.

Dilone was already walking to him right up to him, toe to toe.

They looked at one another and there he was. Her murderer. 

She knew it was him even if it wasn't his true face. She knew him from the outside in, from his black hair that lightly grayed at the sides, the wide-set eyes and the crinkles set around them as if he'd grown up laughing and smiling most of his life, and the thick eyelashes that decorated his doe eyes, his long nose and grainy beard she knew him. She even knew him from the voice he had yet to speak with.

Dilone tore her eyes away from him and looked at his car that played one of her favorite songs as she stood next to the thing she wanted to kill. Unsure if the feeling would subside she ignored the initial lure to light him on fire. Through his knowing face instead she took out her hand from her pocket and gave it out for him to shake. "I'm Dilone." She said because he ought to know, right? Even if he didn't care, he'd hear her name and never fucking forget it. Be easy to- maybe. But it would have been easy to forget him if she wanted but she hasn't for some reason. Guess it's just time to find out

I need what you need, you need what I need, we were made for each other.

"Where are you going?" She smiled gently, so gently the hinds of her molars were so oddly sharp, “And where’ve you been?” 

[exmateriadead]

WHAT WE PLAY DOWN AT THE BEACH AKA

GO BLAST THIS SHIT & DANCE IN YOUR ROOM.  x -SPOTIFY