#luv u lys stay awesome

[chipen]

i think when we first followed each other i was at a cool '💀- OH MY GOD DON’T EAT ME PLEASE' but im down here now '😧 - Senpai, notice me????'

yknow I’m like your biggest fan right

[thebtswritersclub]

Happy birthday Eva!!!

Today’s a very special day in the net. We’re celebrating our admin and founder Eva’s birthday!!!! We all love you so much and we wish you a really good day, Momma 💜 Here are some messages from the staff and members to wish you a great day:

EVAAAAAAAAAAA! MOMMY! Happy birthday! This year has been A YEAR! And you've ROCKED IT! You're so amazing! I'm so glad we're friends. Talking to you and playing games together really makes my weeks and I'm so thankful that I've had the pleasure of being friends with you and an admin with you for so long! Happy birthday! I love u. -Lillia @moccahobi​

Eva! My platonic soulmate, my braincell sharer, my Jin-biased comrade in arms! Though we only met less than a year ago, you have quickly grown to become one of my closest friends and confidants. I always find so much joy in our conversations and having you in my life brightens my world in so many ways. I love you and I hope we stay friends for a long, long time. Have a great birthday, you deserve it and so much more. -Dean @eternalseokjin​

Eva, queen of multitasking and mom extraordinaire, I hope you know how much I and everyone else loves you. I have always been a fan of your writing but the last year has given me the chance to get to know you as a person and it is both my privilege and pleasure to be able to say that I am your friend  hope this year brings you all the love, joy and luck in the world  u r adorable and ily. happy birthday luv. -Aditi @ditttiii​

Happy birthday, love of my life!!! I can't believe that we've made it this far, honestly. Your friendship is one of my most valuable possessions in life. Thank you foralways being there in the good and bad moments. Know that I'll always have your back. Eva, I'm so incredibly proud of you and all the amazing things you have accomplished, in and out of the net. You're far stronger than you think, never forget it. I wish you nothing but the best, you deserve no less. Have the happiest of birthdays, my love. -Danna @unoriginal_username15234

Dearest Eva! One year older and one year wiser! I want you to know that no matter how much stress you have and how much you ever doubt yourself, I'll be here to build you up with talks about werewolf aus and bias (wreckers)!! You've become such a good and supportive friend of mine and I love our talks, be they about school or thirsting over the boys. Thank you for being there and reminding me and everyone else how much we are worth - thank you for building up such a great community, my partner in angst. Happiest of birthdays and I love you so much. -Rid @taegularities​

Happy Birthday, Eva! I’ve only been knowing you for a short while, but it feels like decades. You’re such an amazing person and writer. You’re so intelligent, talented, and funny. Oh, and your writing is mind-blowing! I wasn’t lying when I said that you inspire me; you are beautiful inside and out. We’re all so lucky to have you, and thank you for being here for us. We love you!!! Stay awesome, sweetie! And have a Happy Birthday!! You deserve it! Love, Dee Dee. @sugasbabiie​

Eva, Happy Birthday!    Thank you for being so kind with welcoming me to the network. I hope your day is surrounded by the things and people you love!                                                 - Lou @sujigguk​

Hey Eva! Happy birthday! You are one of the most wonderful, kind and supportive people that I know. It’s honestly a privilege to call you my friend. Thank you for all you’ve done for me, and here’s to many more happy moments to come :) -Elle @wheresmymoniat​

Eva, You're a lovely person and have created such a wonderful little safe haven for so many BTS writers on tumblr. It's hard to put to words how happy I am to have met you and be able to call you my friend. It's not something I take for granted and I hope that we can continue to be friends for a long time. You mean a lot to a lot of people and I'm sure that whatever compliments I have to give you, someone else has said much better than I could lol. I hope that you have a wonderful day and take some time to relax and maybe do some self care! You work so hard and you deserve it! All my love, Keri @kerikaaria​

eva! wishing you the happiest of birthdays!  You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve met in bwc and on tumblr in general, and i’m so lucky to be able to know you. I hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are. Sending you so much love and so many good vibes!!  -Carese @honeyj00ns​

Happy birthday eva, the greatest team mom, amazing writer, DM and wonderful friend!!! I really hope your birthday is amazing as you are, you deserve it. I am so happy to know you through the amazing net you created. Thank you so much for being your incredible self and I hope you can feel as much happiness today as you bring to me and all of us at the net xx -Ru @btsmosphere​

Eva! The happiest of birthdays to you my emo soulmate! I hope you have a wonderful day full of cake and cuddles and happiness! I'm so happy to have gotten t know you. Thank you for always listening to my rants about people who annoy me and ideas i cant get out of my head, but most of thank you for creating a space where i could meet other fantastic people such as yourself! i hope last year treated you well and that this year brings all the growth and fulfilment you desire! :3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!  -Mars @joheunsaram​

Thank you for being our mum, thank you for entertaining us, thank you for being so kind and including everyone, thank you for giving me a place where I can be safe.  Don't ever change and I hope the day is filled with bright lovely moments and I hope this day brings you lots of happiness, fun and most importantly love! Ilysm and thank you for being you! <333 Have a great day Eva! -Ellie @jungkooksbroski​

[imaginemiw-blog1]

A Anniversary you'll never forget

Warnings: language,smut

Anonymous asked: Hey, could you do a Ricky one where it’s your fourth anniversary of being married and he comes home real upset and takes it out on his wife? Smut please? Also love your blog!!!

Today was yours and your husband Ricky’s four year anniversary. You spent the whole day preparing dinner for him. It was your grandma’s recipe for homade chicken wings. It was his favorite and you rarely make it because it takes so long to prepare, but today was a special occasion so you decided to make it. Its almost been an hour since you put it in the oven so you went to check on it, as you were about to open the oven you felt your phone buzz. It was a text from Ricky.

Ricky: Sry babe gonna be home later than I thought.

You: okay:(

Ricky: it’s just gonna be an hour or 2.

You: you sure you can’t be home sooner?

Ricky: there was a problem with the guitars it’s gonna take a while to fix.

You: hope you can fix it luv u! C you soon

Ricky: luv u 2

So you got the chicken wings out of the oven and you put then on the high kitchen counter where Dexter couldn’t reach. So you got a couple of hours to yourself. An idea popped in your head you ran upstairs to your and Ricky’s bedroom took off all your clothes. Took a picture and sent it to Ricky with a text that read hurry back baby I’m getting so wet just thinking about you. You put on your Black lingerie with dark purple lace around Ricky’s favorite parts of you body. You then put your semi transparent black sweater Ricky got you for your birthday. You went downstairs put your favorite movie bride of chucky on sat on your couch and waited for him to come home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About two hours later you saw the door open. You stood up to greet Ricky, but as soon as he opened the door he pushed you off of him. You noticed he looked pissed.

“WHAT THE FUCK Y/N?”

“Ricky what are you talking about?”

“I’M TALKING ABOUT THOSE PICS YOU SENT ME!”

“Ricky there’s no need to yell I thought you’d like them?”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU Y/N I’M IN A ROOM WITH A BUNCH OF GUYS AND YOU THOUGHT I’D LIKE THEM I WAS WORKING!”

“okay now you’re being mean. I dressed in this and made you dinner and you’re being an asshole!”

“You mean you dressed like a slut”

You ran past Ricky crying to your room slammed the door and started packing.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!”

“Packing”

“Why?”

“Ricky you’re being mean I’m gonna stay at my sister’s house till you calm down”

You got up and went to your dresser to get pants when you felt arms wrap around your waist tightly.

“Ow! Stop it”

“No”

“Richard Olson I’m not in the mood stop it now!”

“You are gonna listen to me and if you don’t you will be punished”

You’d be lying if you weren’t getting wet, you love when he’s dominant. You could feel him getting hard and that just made you wetter. He then turned you around and pinned you against the wall,he put his knee in between Your legs and rubbed it.

“Ricky” you moaned

As soon as he heard you moan he stopped and pulled you into the bathroom and lifted you on the the bathroom counter. He then started the shower,while it was running he started to undress you until you were completely naked then undressed himself. You jumped off and started to kiss him and then started to move down the Ricky pulled you up and smacked your ass and you yelled in surprise he then started to kiss you and pulled you into the shower he pinned you against the wall and ran his tongue ran across your bottom lip asking for entrance, you denied it wanting to be a tease he then forced his tongue in your mouth and explored every inch of you mouth, you immediately moaned.

“You like that you little slut”

He then slid his index finger into you and then added another finger and curled them to get your g spot. You screamed his name in pleasure, he pumped his fingers in and out of you at a fast pace.you knew you were close.

“Ricky I’m so close”

He took his fingers out and lined himself up with you and pushed himself inside without warning.

“RICKY!”

“You like that baby”

He went at a fast pace hitting your g spot everytime. You could feel the knot build up in your stomach. You knew you couldn’t hold off any longer.

“Ricky I’m so close”

“Cum for me baby”

You came within seconds, He came shortly after that. He turned off the water and carried you to the bed and set you down and sat beside you and you cuddled up to his chest.

“Sorry I acted like a total ass it’s just the record is stressing me out I hope you can forgive me”

“I understand Ricky it’s okay and as a reward I made chicken wings there downstairs if you want them”

“Awesome! But I think I’d rather cuddle with you I’ll eat them tomorrow, I love you Y/N”

“I love you to”

Before you knew it both of you were sleeping this definitely will be a Anniversary you’d never forget.

[devilsadvocate007]

Facebook Posts July 2010 - December 2010

4th July 2010

The illusion that everybody's opinion matters has created a society in which stupidity must be considered just as seriously as brilliance. Gone are the days where stupid people weren't allowed to talk while big people were talking. Now they have their own facebook pages.... On the bright side, we no longer have to rely on television for entertainment

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10th July 2010

♫ Just gonna stand there and watch me burn....well that's alright because I like the way it hurts......Just gonna stand there and hear me cry....well that's alright because I love the way you lie...♫  - ‘Love the way you lie’, Rihanna ft. Eminem

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14th July 2010

If there's no such thing as no such thing, then there is such a thing as no such thing, which means that there really is no such thing as no such thing.

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15th July 2010

Bad?: So I was standing next to a fat girl and I turned to her and said "moo". At first she started to cuss and call me names and tell me about my mother. I quietly said "moo" again without lifting my gaze. This time she started screaming and clawing at me. For the last time...I said "moo". She stopped and looked at me, then after a minute of silence she said "father?"

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25th July 2010

You know you're doing something wrong when your fiancée tells you "I'd rather be his whore than your wife"... ♥ Titanic

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30th July 2010

You ever meet someone so dumb that you think they're up to something? "What?....no....what you playing at?....wait.....you're serious?"

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5th August 2010

The 1st tao of Jarid: {For all those in a relationship...the sentence "It doesn't matter anymore, I have a man, I'm gonna let loose" is not acceptable unless you're talking about a party or sex.}

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6th August 2010

I know I'm not the only person that finds irony in the fact that the guy that recently beat the JAMAICAN Bolt, is called Mr. Gay. lol "Gay shocks Bolt in Stockholm" is the Headline....So what did we learn? U can run from gays all u want my Jamaican brethren, but it'll catch up with you eventually...

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15th August 2010

Life is too short to waste on people who don't realize how awesome you are. I knew an awesome person who never followed the crowd or did what was 'expected'. She's gone now, but I can say she lived her life the way she wanted to, surrounded by people she liked who definitely liked her. When my time comes, I want someone to say the same about me. So fuck off and thank you.

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17th August 2010

Can someone explain to me how purposely doing something that makes your guy friends happy and like u, but at the same time leaves ur woman unhappy and unsatisfied, isn't gay? "Bow cat" it would seem is the opposite of "battyman"....not synonymous.

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20th August 2010

"Ur like a giant fucking cock blocking robot developed in a secret government lab or something" - Zombieland (lmao)

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21st August 2010

♫ That's alright, thats ok....g'on head believe what ur home girls say...a nigga like me drink alotta liquor, meet alotta bitches, take alotta pictures....I might break bread with 1 or 2 strippers, but that don't mean u gotta pull my zipper...thinkin that I dicked down the whole town, even tho I got dick to go round ♫ - ‘Smell yo dick’, Kay Luv

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22nd August 2010

♫ You say its my fault, ok then I'll go...its better to know...how theres nobody to argue with...cuz im not home...dont care who ur with....dont call my phone...or did u forget...u know you're wrong...I'm gone....and you're all alone....hearing your own damn...eh echo eh echo ♫ - ‘Echo’, Gorilla Zoe

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8th September 2010

♫ A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar, They're worth so much more after I'm a goner, And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin', Funny when your dead how people start listenin'...If I die young ♫ - ‘If I die young’, The Band Perry

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10th September 2010

The tao of Jarid: "Facebook is not a place to publish things you wish to remain private. By its very nature, anything put on here voluntarily is for people to notice, see, and by extension comment or ask about. Getting defensive when asked about something YOU put up in the public domain makes no sense."

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11th September 2010

The tao of Jarid: "Women treat the male gene pool like a real pool. They all jump in and splash around the shallow end in their youth...then wade out to the deeper end as they get older."

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15th September 2010

“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar [violin] to a gorilla.” - Jim Bishop

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17th September 2010

Taxi driver on the way home today: "You see men? Especially young men like you? You need to eat raw foods. Lemme tell u the other night I was with my gf and no matter WHAT position I put her in...me deya fight fi cum! FIRST time me haffu TRY cum. All when me done, cocky stiff stiff"

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22nd September 2010

Birthdays on facebook are really opportunities for people that never speak to you to subtly say "I care! Don't delete me! Look how I wrote on ur wall!" lol

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23rd September 2010

The tao of Jarid: The lawyer most people know is the American lawyer. That's why lawyers have a bad name. Caribbean lawyers are nothing like their American counterparts (the laws and practices here are vastly different). People should remember that before they band all "lawyers" together.

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23rd September 2010

Listen, I understand that having a BB means that u can talk to anyone at anytime for free, but seriously...10 grown ppl sitting in a room engrossed in their phones not speaking to each other, is ridiculous. What happend to common courtesy, what happened to meeting new people and saying hi to a stranger? Sheesh. U remind me of little kids in church playing their gameboys.

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26th September 2010

U know what I hate? The fact that hypocrisy is so prevalent. Any time you see someone stand up and strongly take a stand against something...9/10 times they do it. If they vehemently denounce homosexuals, 9/10 times, they're sleeping with little boys. Its SO common now, that I never want to take a strong stand against anything, lest ppl think I secretly do it. Chupz.

-

The tao of Jarid: For those of you who believe that "no means no, but unconscious means yes".....a prison cell awaits.

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28th September 2010

The legal way of saying “nigga stole my bike”:  “ A human being of the male gender wth black pigmentation on his skin appears 2 have acquired without my consent my 2-wheeled, non-motorized private and/or recreational transportation, also known as "bike", and appears 2 have driven away with said 2-wheeled, non-motorized private and/or recreational transportation, despite my attempt of chasing the said human being, completely ignoring my request 2 give sed item bk” - username iani103. Man, I love my profession.

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1st October 2010

I think women should develop the same "fuck it" mechanism guys have. If there's a baby in the house crying for hours on end...what you will not find is a man around. Y? Cuz we can't fix it and its driving us crazy, so we roll out and go by Tony's house to watch football, i.e. fuk it. More women should do that instead of staying in the stress and snapping and shaking their babies to death or driving them into a river.

-

The tao of Jarid: Facebook should have a 'WHO CARES?!?' button....and make my page immune to it.

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2nd October 2010

The tao of Jarid: The more "LMAO"s and "LOLOLOL"s your status contains, the less funny the actual subject matter is. Contrary to popular belief, nothing gets funnier the more you laugh at it by yourself.

-

Grown men's fascination with penitentiary pussy confuses me... Sex with it = go to prison. What's the problem? Where's the option? All I see is "Sex with prison". No thanks. That's like the "option" 'get in this dark van so I can drive u to my abandoned cabin in the woods or I shoot you'. All I should be hearing is *gunshot*.

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4th October 2010

The tao of Jarid: Drama vampires are not cool. While the rest of us need food and water to live, these creatures survive solely off drama and other people viewing it. The only effective way to deal with them is to block and delete them from everything. If you can't see their drama, they weaken and die. True story.

-

“I think when you put sex and spirituality in the same bottle and shake it up, bad things happen. Yes, I said I kissed a girl. But I didn’t say I kissed a girl while f-ing a crucifix.” - Katy Perry (on why she dislikes Lady Gaga’s music video for ‘Alejandro’) 

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5th October 2010

"This is my facade of civility; do not mistake for complacency, for once this veil is taken down, you'll see a vicious turn around...of all you grew to know and love...the hand lying beneath the glove.... An animal living in a shell. A beast who's come to raise all hell."

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6th October 2010

The tao of Jarid: Forget CNN, BBC or any other news organisation....nowhere else are world issues more discussed than on YouTube's comments section

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8th October 2010

You are one person, out of 7 billion people, on one planet, out of 8 planets, in one solar system out of a hundred billion solar systems, in one galaxy out of a hundred billion galaxies.......you are ENORMOUSLY insignificant, and don't let facebook ever make you forget that. [De-motivational Speech for the day]

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11th October 2010

Anybody remember when they FIRST came on fb YEARS ago? How it used to be? How Fb made hi5 look like the social networking ghetto? It was so clean and neat and classy. "Jarid Hewlett", likes, interests, lil about myself. Send ur friends who u havent seen since primary school messages. It was a magical innocent time. Why did you people have to rape facebook? Why?

-

Now? as NC17 says, no more "Jarid Hewlett", we have "Jarid fuckspussyallday Hewlett", we have "What kind of telly tubby would u have sex with?" quizzes, we have people fighting over who their baby's daddy is for the world to see. (Btw when did this shit become acceptable? Not knowing which guy ejaculated inside and impregnated you is something people used to be ashamed of and settle in private...why is it cool to broadcast this now?), we have break ups where guys blatantly put their numbers under "X is no longer in a relationship"..... What happened to CLASS??? I understand they don't teach that in school, but they bloody well should. No one comes on fb to keep in touch with people anymore. And the ones that do, spend 20% of their total fb time doing that. The rest of us laugh or bow our heads in sadness at the ridiculous shit people post. I'm black and I hate racists and racism, but goddamn it....sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it.....I see where they're coming from. <sigh>

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15th October 2010

♫ We're going out tonight...to kick out every light, take anything we want, drink everything in sight, we're going till the world stops turning while we burn it to the ground tonight! ♫ - ‘Burn it to the ground’, Nickelback

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21st October 2010

The tao: Men get bitter, just as women do. The difference is, a bitter woman will say "fuck men" and never have sex again. A bitter man will say "fuck women" and do just that.

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26th October 2010

The tao: "All inclusive" does not mean "free cheap rum and vodka with juice". Stop the false advertising.

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27th October 2010

The tao: Having high standards doesn't necessarily exempt you from whoredom. While we all agree that having low to no standards makes one a ho, having high, meaningless standards makes one a ho too. "I only sleep with guys that drive BMWs" is a high standard. It is not a substantive standard.

-

♫ And who do you think you are? Running round leaving scars....Collecting your jar of hearts, tearing love apart........You’re gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul.........So don’t come back for me, who do you think you are? ♫  - ‘Jar of Hearts’, Christina Perri

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28th October 2010

"Labour all de way"? "UPP all de way?".....come on, man. I'm "all the way" with whoever makes Antigua a better country. Politics has come to mean arbitrary following of a party that makes your immediate life better regardless of the long term. Don't even get me started on 'patriotism'.

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31st October 2010

The tao: He who is slow to anger gets annoyed the longest.

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1st November 2010

♫....you just hurt my goddamn feelings, and that was the last one I had ♫ - ‘Here we go’, Eminem

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2nd November 2010

Lawyer talk: My Lord, my client was not anywhere near the building when the window was broken, and if he was, he did not break the window, and if he did break the window, he did so by accident, and if he didn't break it by accident, it wasn't the complainant's window, and if it was their window, it was their fault for putting it where my client throws stones.

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8th November 2010

Mr. Kartel, you sir, have lied to me.....apparently women do not want a man whose "buddy long like a thousand match stick line up"....apparently that hurts and more than 90% of it will be outside anyway. You have misled me sir, and I demand an apology.

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10th November 2010

On a serious note.....which do you think is more "loving" and less "heartless"? (Option A) Being in a relationship and cheating gratuitously on your significant other? Or (Option B) breaking up with your significant other who probably didn't see it coming, because you want to sleep with someone else?

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11th November 2010

The tao: No one really sees anything. Everyone thinks they see something. I might think I see a pudgy, ugly woman, you might think you see a curvy goddess. Who knows whats actually there...The difference between sane and insane people is that insane people are just a little more creative with what they think they see....and nothing can change their mind.

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14th November 2010

The tao: If someone tells you something you don't understand, don't repeat it. It might have been wisdom when they told you...but after your brain is done with it, there's a high chance it comes back out as crap.

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15th November 2010

"You're Cuban AND Jamaican?? That's a really.....illegal mix, lol. So you speak Spanish and bloodclaat?" - Mike Yard (*dead*)

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17th November 2010

The tao: One should never let emotions get in the way of reality. Sometimes people just don't appreciate you no matter how you feel about them. That's ok. Someone does.

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19th November 2010

♫ Well I'm a poet to some, a regular modern day Shakespeare.....Jesus Christ, the King of these latter day saints here ♫ - ‘Renegade’, Jay-Z & Eminem

  _________________________

25th November 2010

The tao: Whenever you think "don't let a good thing pass you by"....remember that many things are only good now BECAUSE you let them pass you by at first. Don't be afraid to let go.

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26th November 2010

"If my wanting to see you was on a scale of 1-10.....I'd still say no". It takes a while to fully appreciate just how horrible this statement is.

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27th November 2010

U know what I just realized..?..The first time I listened to the Marshall Mathers LP was on *cassette*...in my * Walkman*....that Michael Henry had copied for me.....I'm gonna reserve my rocking chair in the old folks home from now, see...

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The tao: Stop saying "I'm just me". Everyone is just them. If you choose to be someone who tries to be like other people, that's still who you are. You are just a personalityless ninny, but it's still who YOU are. You can't ever be anything else but you. "I'm just me" is like saying "I breathe oxygen". No shit.

-

♫ Me start da day wit a flask, cranberry an ice inna glass....satellite can't find me me lost....buy me own liquor cuz me a me own boss....drink fi drunk dat me endorse....OH ♫ - ‘Rum & Red Bull’, Beenie Man &Future Fambo

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30th November 2010

Seriously....if I read one more comment under a political story with someone urging people to "wake up", I'm going to slap somebody. I always find it fascinating that politics turns otherwise sensible people into jackasses. "Belief is the enemy of reality".

-

Lesbians have life so easy.....girls are very gay normally, lol. Dressing in front of each other, dancing up with one another, feeling up one another etc.....you could pretty much spend ur whole life being a lesbian and no one would ever know once u lie every now and again about some boy u find hot.

-

"The fact is governments deal with the United States because it's in their interest, not because they like us, not because they trust us and not because they think we can keep secrets," - US Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. If that's not gangsta, I dunno what is...

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2nd December 2010

♫ I love my life....none a we don't know wey tomorrow might bring cuz the future deh hours away...so me go live my life today...me ah live my life today...so lowe me mek me talk what me want fi talk, me have nuff fi say...so me go live my life today...me ah go live my life today ♫ - ‘I love my life’, Demarco

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7th December 2010

The tao: Never overestimate the power of friendship.

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9th December 2010

♫ De boy ketch me a stamp up him gyal postcard....want arrest me but....him anna sarge....he nah stop tell me how him a camouflage....never voice ya hear from him vocal cord because.....a we mek nuff man start drink Guinness ♫ - ‘A we’, Hawkeye

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11th December 2010

The tao: The next time someone you thought you mattered to lets you down, always remember that its not their fault you don't have better friends.

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17th December 2010

Men beware: "Your mouth says no, but your eyes say yes" will never ever stand up in court.

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19th December 2010

The tao: Stop bitching about the 'true meaning' of Christmas. People like presents. Deal with it.

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21st December 2010

The tao: Put on a jamaican accent and include "bloodclaat" or "bumboclaat" and any sentence becomes five times funnier. E.g. "Where are u going, u unhygienic homosexual?" "Yow, a where dis dutty skin, yellow teet, shitty draws BUMBOCLAAT battybwoy a go?" Same message. Five times funnier.

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25th December 2010

The tao: "I have a boyfriend".........."Babes....you can have ALL the boyfriends you want...not "a", not "some".....ALL.....me still want u". - This conversation will always go like this. Saying you have a boyfriend is not a substitute for saying no.

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30th December 2010

New year new me! "Are u getting a sex change?" What? no..... "Are you changing careers?" Um..no.. "Are you radically overhauling your entire personality?" Not really... "Shut up and sit down"