#luke who leaves chb and just needs some zaza

[murdrdocs]

gods, he’s pretty like this, too, you think. who knew boys could look so good on their knees in the dirt?

okay. 🙂.

the place i left behind — luke castellan // explicit

luke is on the run. things would be going perfectly if only he could stay away from you.

pairing: luke castellan x reader

word count: 2.1k

content: smut/explicit content, oral (f receiving), slight choking, coming in pants, afab reader, unclaimed reader, weed mention, a bit of angst but it’s all for the plot

🎧: the place i left behind by the deep dark woods

it was a bad idea for luke to come back to camp. you knew it; he knew it better. returning after what he had done wasn’t just stupid — it was a death sentence.

but here he is, tapping on the window of the cabin you used to share.

you meet his eyes through the warped glass and his face curls upward into a lazy smile. hey, he mouths. it knocks the wind out of you, sudden and disarming; seeing that familiar grin makes your chest ache.

“hey,” you whisper back, knowing he can’t hear you. hoping he can read your lips, knowing you won’t get your breath back until you can see him face-to-face.

outside? luke says, gesturing to the door of the cabin. moonlight falls in bars through the windows, illuminating a stripe across the worn brass doorknob.

you nod. the simple motion makes you nauseous. this isn’t safe. you’re going to get caught. you’re going to get him caught, and then—

you’re standing in front of the door before you know it. cold brass meets your fingertips and you bite your tongue, pretending you don’t feel how your hands shake as you turn the knob with a soft click.

outside, it's hot and humid. the air seems to hang in place for a split-second before luke is on you; his arms wrap around you and his face finds a home in the crook of your neck. this close, you can feel him breathing, feel the muscles shift as he inhales and exhales.

your fingertips roll over luke’s back — over his deltoids, those powerful ropes of tissue hooked into the bones of his shoulders. you joked about him being missing a pair of wings before, but that was before this.

before you could feel exactly how much potential he had shifting under his skin. before he squeezes you and murmurs into your pulse, “shit, angel, i missed you.”

hearing that nickname from his mouth feels like someone has ripped a hole in everything you are. luke smells like sweat and sunscreen and just a hint of weed smoke, and he missed you.

“i missed you too,” you breathe, and luke reaches up to hold your face in his hands. his forehead presses to yours, his dark curls damp against your skin. the bridge of his nose brushes yours, quick, barely-there.

you pull back, lacing your fingers with his, and he follows. it’s almost like nothing’s changed, you think, the two of us sneaking out, the closeness. the rhythm between the two of you picks up just like it would any other day.

except luke’s hair is longer, creeping uncut towards his eyes, and there are new scars on his hands and his back. there’s a knife on his belt and the outline of a gun — a mortal gun — silhouetted through the white fabric of his tank top, the metal of it still cold despite being pressed against his stomach—

you wonder if he knows how to use it. if he had lined up a shot, pressed the barrel against someone’s chest or forehead or the underside of their chin, and pulled the trigger. you wonder how luke’s face would look spattered with blood.

you wonder how it would feel to wipe that blood off of him with your fingertips or a wet rag, sitting with his knees bracketing your hips, just like every other time you’d cleaned him up.

—and luke had never held you like that before; like he was afraid to lose you before you could even say one word to him. like crushing you to his chest would keep you there forever.

“why did you come back?” you ask, praying that he won’t say what you already know.

luke sighs and rubs his thumb over your knuckles. “you get right to the point, dont’cha?”

his voice is teasing, low enough that a few of his words blur together. y’get right to the point. his thumb moves in twisting, concentric circles around the ridges of your fingers. his eyes dart up to yours.

luke reaches to cradle your face again, his knuckles grazing your cheeks as his palms flatten, one at a time and molasses-slow, against your jaw. “i wanted to see you,” he says.

there it is.

you step back and luke follows, matching your steps until you feel the rough-hewn stone of the cabin wall against your back. “you shouldn’t be here,” you whisper.

that lazy grin finds its way onto luke’s face again. “what, you scared?”

you don’t respond, and luke tangles his fingers in your hair before pulling your forehead back to rest against his. “hey, are you— are you scared of me?” his voice falters; his thumb moves in tiny circles at the junction of your jawbone and your neck. he frowns. "angel, c'mon," he whispers.

you shake your head. tears prick at the corners of your eyes and you bite the inside of your cheek hard enough to bleed. “i’m scared for you,” you breathe.

you reach up to cup luke’s face with your hands, mirroring his posture. “but i’m not scared of you.”

slowly, you wrap your fingers around luke’s wrist and drag his hand away from your face. his fingertips run down your neck, across your collarbones. his hands linger for a split-second longer around your chest before his palm flattens against your stomach and he leans forward.

luke stops at the loose hem of your camp shirt. “can i?” he murmurs, hooking two fingers under the fabric. his thumb resumes its movement over your hipbone, calluses catching on the exposed strap of your underwear.

“can i,” he repeats. “please, angel?”

this is a terrible idea. luke tried to kill you. he tried to kill your friends. he nearly started a war between the gods. he’s a traitor, a walking betrayal.

luke is your best friend, and you have missed him more than anything.

the soft yes barely leaves your mouth before luke steps forward that final inch, caging you against the wall.

his hands slip under your shirt and pull it over your head, leaving you only briefly self-conscious before he finds your mouth with his. he kisses you hard, bruising, biting at your bottom lip. he makes a sound low in his throat, pulling you impossibly closer.

“i missed you,” he murmurs in the tiny pockets of air between your kisses. “fuck, angel, i missed you so much.”

“i know,” you say. i missed you too.

luke presses kisses to your lips and your cheeks. your jaw. the bridge of your nose. please stay.

he buries his face in your shoulder and laves his tongue over your pulse, drags his mouth from your neck to your collarbones to just above your navel. in his wake, a trail of reddish-purple bruises unfolds under your skin.

luke speaks in half-caught sentences into your skin. “i’m so sorry,” he whispers. “i miss you so much— so much, i’m sorry, angel.”

when he finally sinks to his knees in front of you, his lips slightly parted and his breath coming in shallow gasps, luke lets his head drop to rest against your hip. his pupils are blown wide, swallowing the brown of his irises with desperate, inky want.

“lemme taste you,” he murmurs, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your exposed hip and stomach. his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and continues murmuring into your skin.

your hand finds purchase against luke’s collarbone and slides to rest against his throat; you match his jugular vein with the junction of your thumb and your palm, stroking the sides of his neck gently.

his breath catches, his heartbeat fluttering wild and needy against your fingertips. you half-expect him to pull away or to move your hand and continue kissing his way down your body.

instead, luke tips his head back that extra inch, his gaze flicking up and down before finally holding yours. his eyes are glossy and his mouth is open. his chest heaves against your thigh, trying and failing to control his breathing.

“are you sure?” you ask softly.

luke nods so feverishly that you worry his head will split from his neck. “c’mon,” he murmurs. “you know i wouldn’t ask if i didn’t want it.”

you do know, and it’s for that exact reason that you slide your thumb over luke’s adam’s apple again, pressing down just enough to make him gasp. it’s a broken, strangled sound, breathy and rough, and he sings it into your hipbone as he drags your shorts down your legs. the fabric pools around your ankles, and luke closes what little space is left between you in an instant.

he hooks his fingers under the sides of your underwear, toying with the lace idly as he mouths at the ruined fabric covering your cunt.

“gods, luke,” you say softly, tangling one hand in his sweat-damp hair and tugging. it’s more to test the waters than anything, but luke groans and shifts underneath you, and—

—and he’s hard, rolling his hips into nothing, chasing friction that isn’t there. his eyes, half-lidded and glassy, meet yours. you shiver — luke’s eyes are dark and intense, barely containing the want that lights up both of your bodies.

gods, he’s pretty like this, too, you think. who knew boys could look so good on their knees in the dirt?

luke pulls your underwear to the side and presses a quick kiss to your clit, mumbling in half-sentences as he laves his tongue over your soaked cunt. “my darling,” he breathes, dragging his hand up your thigh and reaching between your legs, sliding two fingers into you easily. “my angel, my everything.”

you rock your hips against his face, tightening your grip on his hair — which must be crossing some wires in his brain, because he shudders and points his tongue, flicking it against your clit as he curls his fingers.

“luke,” you gasp, tension building in your stomach. “i— i’m close, luke, please.”

luke looks up at you and smiles. you can feel his dimples against your inner thighs for a split second before he doubles down on his efforts, licking and sucking until something inside you snaps and you cum with a stifled moan, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes.

between your legs, luke licks his lips. “beautiful,” he says. his voice is raspy and he takes a deep breath, in-out, in-out. “there’s my girl. there you are, baby.”

you slowly sink to your knees next to him, your heart thudding against your rib cage like a trapped bird. “luke,” you whisper.

“yeah, angel?” he asks, wrapping one arm around you and tugging you closer. his fingers trace unseen patterns on the expanse of your thigh and you shuffle closer still to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. you can taste his sweat, electric and desperate. the smell of sex is probably all over both of you.

there’s a dark spot on the front of luke’s shorts and he tenses up when you slide your hand up his thigh. “did you— just from that?” you ask.

“oh, shit,” luke says, looking down. “uh— fuck, angel, i—”

“it’s okay,” you say, leaning forward to press your forehead to his again.

he sighs, tangling his fingers back into your hair. “i know.”

the two of you stay like that for what could have been minutes or hours before luke presses a kiss to your jaw and murmurs, “i have to go.”

something in your chest twists. the words slip out before you can stop them: “i don’t want you to.” you press your nose into luke’s hair and inhale the smell of sweat, of smoke. your fingers find the straps of luke’s tank top. look at this barrier. look at what’s keeping you apart.

“you know i can’t,” he murmurs, and you swear the crack in his voice breaks your heart all over again.

"i know," you say, tucking your head into his chest. "but i don't want you to go." you look up.

luke's eyes sparkle, brilliant and terrible, and when he kisses your forehead you can feel tears landing in tiny constellations across your head. "you deserve better," luke whispers. "better than me. than all of this."

do i? you ask yourself. and: do i want it?

when luke kisses you one last time and stands, drawing his sword out of nowhere, you know it as well as he does: you don't want better.

when he leaves — when there is nothing for days, when your dreams are haunted by the memory of his lips against yours and the smell of his hair, you know.

you only want luke.