#luke raising baby jess adorable family drama ensues

[disasterbiwriter]

You may have seen me obsess over this before, but... Luke tries to teach Jess how to play baseball, because "every boy likes baseball, right?" And it doesn't go very well. 😆

The Diner Dudes and the Bad Hop

Part I

Lorelai is bussing a table when Luke clatters down into the diner, and as she looks up and takes him in, it's clear she's trying not to laugh.

"What?" Luke demands. "What?!"

"Nothing, I just didn't know you realized you could wear those things with the brim to the front." She reaches up and gently flicks the brim of his ancient Mets cap.

"Knock it off." What does it say about him that even that miniscule degree of contact with her sends his stomach into somersaults?

"Sorry, sorry." She looks him over once more, from the hat down to the scuffed up Slugger hanging at his side. "So, you're really going to go through with it?"

"'Course," he says. "He's excited."

Her face is soft. "Of course he is. He loves to take the trash out if it means you're with him."

"It's going to be fun," Luke insists. "All boys love baseball."

"Right right." She snaps and points at him, cheeky. "Hey, do you think he'll put whatever he's reading down long enough to hit the ball, or are you thinking the reading material will be thick enough to be a stand-in for the bat?"

Luke rolls his eyes. "Are you in overtime yet?"

"Maybe."

"Go home."

Part II

"All right, bud, remember what I told you?"

Six-year-old Jess is vibrating with excitement. "Yep!" He ticks the items off on his grubby fingers. "Keep my eye on the ball. Don’t swing at anything below your shoulders or anything higher than your knees."

"Er, close. It's actually - "

"And quit when it starts to feel like all the baselines are running uphill."

Luke scratches his head. "Did... I don't remember telling you that last one."

Jess scrambles for the backpack he slung off along the first baseline and pulls out a pristine library book. "Babe Ruth’s Baseball Advice," he announces proudly. "Mrs. Gilley ordered a copy of it for the library when I told her you were gonna teach me baseball."

Mentally Luke runs through a catalogue of sayings attributed to the Big Bam and makes a mental note to remind Mrs. Gilley that Jess is still in elementary school. "All right, put the book down, let's get to it, kid!"

"I'm ready, Uncle Luke!" With comedic effort he hefts the bat over one shoulder and readies himself behind the plate.

"Uh, honey? Try taking the mitt off when you bat."

"You got it, Uncle Luke!"

Part III

"Jess, I think you'll probably have more luck if you open your eyes when you swing."

"Good idea, Uncle Luke!"

"Jess, honey, that's third base, not first."

"But we read left to right! Why do we run right to left?!"

"I, uh... I don't actually know the answer to that."

"That was better! Try running towards the ball instead of away from it next time!"

"What if it lands on my head and cracks it open like an egg?!"

"No, I'm definitely sure there are only three bases, kiddo."

"Chuck Presby says there are twelve, and if you miss any of them they make the umpire put you in JAIL!"

"But are you sure?"

"Look, sweetheart, I know I told you I don't actually know everything about baseball, so I guess it's possible... But I'm telling you, I don't think there has ever been a baseball player who was also a bank robber. And you've gotta stop listening to anything that Presby kid tells you, he's an id - he's just teasing you."

"Uncle Luke! We forgot the wickets!"

"No, Jess, there are no wickets in baseball, that's cricket."

"Uncle Luke! Uncle Luke! I hit it! I - oh no! Uncle Luke! Are you okay?!"

Part IV

Lorelai unearths a bag of peas from the diner's freezer and gently settles it against Luke's cheekbone. "Well, at least he hit it."

Luke glances over at the counter where Jess is wearing more ice cream than is getting into his mouth. He loves that little gremlin so much he might actually cry - or would, if any tears could escape his rapidly-swelling eye. "He certainly did. Baby's first bad hop."

"What on earth is a bad hop?"

"You know," Luke sighs, "ask me some other time. I think I'm done talking about baseball for the day."

"You got it. Need a beer, boss?"

"Make it two. Hey, didn't I tell you to go home?

"You want me to get you a beer or not?"

"Right, shutting up now."

Part V - Two Weeks Later

"And then," Jess says proudly, tapping the little square with his finger, "the guy hit a fly and got out at center field - so I put the 8 in his box Eight stands for center field, remember?"

Lorelai whistles over the scorebook, impressed. "That's so cool, kid. And you learned how to do all that today?"

"Yep." He spins a little on his stool, clutching the precious document carefully in both hands. "Uncle Luke says I picked it up faster than anyone he's ever seen."

"Well, that doesn't surprise me even a little bit."

"I think watching baseball is more fun than playing baseball." Jess beams at Luke as he comes out from the kitchen, Jess's dinner in hand. "Don't you think so, Uncle Luke?"

Luke sets Jess's plate in front of him and strokes his nephew's hair. "You know what? These days I think you're right."