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neonfretra · 5 months ago

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nhl teasm...

my team loyalties immediately dissolve in favor of the funniest possible outcome. florida i will willingly curse you for a game seven sharks interview, vgk you mean nothing to me if it means the yotes sweep you, kraken you mean nothing to me if it means a sharks shutout, the san jose sharks will never be usurped in the chain of preference because they are gods personal sacrificial lamb and every joy they experience is like blood in the water and my heart hungers like a mouthless stomach.

for sake of readability i refer to teams by name here, sorry if this shows up on your favsies team tags </3

every single team WILL be discussed in terms of the sharks . be warned .

nhl teams tier list below the cut because i yap too much for a cute graphic. our conversations arent long but you know what is. its this. dont talk to me at all, actually.

MY teams!!!

San Jose Sharks

san jose sharks u are the only thing that has ever mattered 2 me. pickles cup on the HORIZON and RAPIDLY APPROACHING.

MY GIRLS......!!!!! if you want to love a team make a primer about them. i think of everything hockey relative to the sharks. i can name most of their players.! (it takes me genuine conscious thought to tell apart cmd, drai, lars because of their similar facial hair for reference. luke kunin and justin bailey though NO PROBLEM ^_^)

fighting team through and through! who CARE if we down two and got twenty seconds remaining, players WILL be gunning down the ice...! its always a bit of a shock to watch other teams just kinda. wander about?

people who like winning will tell you that the important part of the sport is winning. wrong! it is HONOR and WHIMSY. and sometimes IMMENSE AMOUNTS OF NIHILISM . i think its good for you to root for a basement team. really gets you out of that winning is everything mentality cause if i got my feelings too wound up about how the sharks performed i would not have a blood pressure measurable by conventional means anymore

also, nothing on this team is permanent. i look at old rosters and can name like. five of them. we made the MOST moves at the trade deadline. every single captain has had trade rumors going around about them. somehow, we are still living on the high of that game seven. you know the one.

there are four people in the lb tag on a good day. if you are joining the sharks fandom hi! ^_^ sorry for takin your favorite guy!

BEST DRESSED TEAM IN THE LEAGUE!!! our logo? CUNT. our teal? CUNT. our cute little teal helmets to go with visiting uniforms? CUNT. our black alternate jerseys? CURSED AS ALL HELL. also, CUNT. over 5% of our wins this season happened in the califin jersey which is to say ONE GAME. and we looked GOOD AS HELL doing it. year one of the team, sharks sold the MOST merch in the league because our logo before the current logo? CUNT.

i think the sharks makes me a worse person.

Seattle Kraken

my first team! ^_^ really awesome and active community on tumblr, i really like the community wide decision to be whimsical through thick and thin, if you want to get into hockey id definitely suggest them !!! sports are a social interest to me <3

also, one of the best dressed teams IMO! LOVE the red accents (& how they use black in their visiting jerseys), and especially a fan of how their goalies gear picks up on it!

also, the pride runs deep team, the put a tentacle on a pride flag dont even need to mention its for hockey team

also, i love their fish toss. the past tense of yeet is NOT yaught.

i recognize a quite a few of their players! unfortunately, quite a few of their players are prone to injury. hope they resign QUITE A FEW OF THEIR PLAYERS. ^_^

Vegas Golden Knights

HEEL TEAM!!! hate them or love them you NEED them for your narratives. and GOLLY do people hate them! this has made me root for them more. haters be strong, but by god i stay stronger xoxo

a team you DEFINITELY need a sense of humor to love publicly tho. this blog SUPPORTS taking weeks if not months long sick leave <- literally a sharks fan, if u arent feeling 100% get your rest AND get your paycheck im so serious

i think they need to DOUBLE DOWN on being the most las vegas thing to ever be outside of las vegas! they got glittery gold jerseys! pyrotechnics on every home goal! the big tacky slot machine! gold helmets! the whole opening segment! vgk become the disney villain team u were always meant to be!

also, tomas hertl is on this team. tomas hertl i miss u. everyone may be mad gm mike grier traded him to a franchise rival but hes a wizard TO ME for getting ltir resident hertl to a team he wanted to be on!!! please win a cup for tommy vgk

sharks exwifes teams

Tampa Bay Lightning

anthony duclair you are just as beautiful as you were the day i lost you ...

also, i am LEGITIMATELY infatuated by their storm jerseys (image from the unofficial nhl uniforms database)

girl i want you so bad

would you believe this jersey personally shot up my opinion of them

Dallas Stars

joe pavelski makes me feel hit song "its over isnt it" from show steven universe emotions. hes THE shark exwife. hes been gone for 5 years (goinf on six!) and every time we play against the stars they keep having long lingering shots on pavs and randomly bringing up how hes SUCH a great player ohhhhh pavs youre the greatest thing we have ever lost... they do this after someone else has scored a goal btw LMAO. i genuinely get surprised when i watch a cast with the stars that ISNT lingering on pavs. have a good retirement pavs <3

the second player i recognized the face of on the stars was mason marchment because he has piercing blue eyes and strikingly dark eyebrows. hes orbs.

i think their plaioffs thing was funny as hell. i dont even read it like. ai as in artificial intelligence, ive been reading pl-eye-offs. theyre funny for that + getting dragged for it, apparently? i hope they do it again (& get dragged again)

im sorry dallas stars for personally cursing you to lose round 2.

im also sorry dallas stars for writing almost entirely about joe pavelski here . he haunts the sharks so bad. i actually did start rooting for the stars because of him though LMAO

HI ID ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT WE GOT TY DELLANDREAS FROM THIS TEAM! i love snatching everyones beloved players this cant keep happening

my friends teams (that i have imprinted on like a duckling) ^_^ hey speakin of ducks

Los Angeles Kings

BEST PENALTY KILL IN THE LEAGUE! <- dont fact check me

i like making up silly ways of referring to game terminologies and the kings are an endless supply of on theme jokes <3

.i was made fond through word of big save dave and i personally love watching everyone shadow box with the ghost of la kings

i regularly followed them in the regular season ^_^ and then the post season happened .i think i may have cursed them terribly

PLEASE LET YUOR YOUNGER PLAYERS IN . PLEEASDE.

Anaheim Ducks

team i am fond of but never watch the games of because they overlap with every other team i watch LMAO

i was um. also made fond of them through their goalies. i may be predicable. THEE if a goalie makes more than 50 saves in a game and still lose then they have the right to chase they team around with a machete team

but maybe the REAL way to my heart is a team that is healthy (do you remember healthy centers and veteran presence) and law abiding (one of the most penalized teams) that loves doing things like completing passes (um. <3) . which you will

also, witnessed the funniest exchange on one of my posts of like. two or three people? realizin that the ducks new logo is a duck foot

also, i think the seattle series has been one of the most bizarre series of events ive watched by far

Minnesota Wild

you are like an in law to me

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST. wild is like up there as one of tumblrs popular teams to me! alongside the kraken and. the pens? idk i stay to ONE corner of the internet (the sharks) i think the community is very sweet :)

also, i think the 7-10 game with the canucks was hysterical, that was the only time ive watched back a game and it was worth it 100%

also, i have drawn one of your players with cat ears its OVER for nyall

Edmonton Oilers

i know nothing about your players. darnell nurse 5 own goals i wambt you

ANOTHER TEAM YOU NEED A SENSE OF HUMOR TO LOVE PUBLICLY .! godspeed oilers mutuals yall are like a beautiful ant raft to me. hold on tight together! ^_^

also, we beat the oilers this year and are noted career low for a guy named cmd if you know him . IDK hes a lil underground . so like. >:3

sharks exwives teams the sequel

Calgary Flames

nikita okhotiuk you are the worlds funniest girl to me. gets traded on the trade deadline, plays 9 games total, BREAKS IIHF RESTRICTION TO PLAY FOR CSKA MOSCOW. WORD ON THE STREET THEY STILL WANT HIM BACK. i dont know nothing about the flames otherwise LMAO guys . guys i miss okhie . my turnover princess.... .

i feel like everyone i know has beef with them. um. my beef is that they scored 13 against the sharks that one time in 1993.?

please god stop playin scary

Pittsburgh Penguins

exwife exhead coach/cheerleader david quinn i miss you and your web of connections and networkin like no other...! seriously he knows like. everyone. gets along with everyone and has a strange and unusual beef with sweet cousin kevin labanc. .and hes connectionsing and networkining out there with the pens! ^_^ comin full circle if you even CARE!!!

i root for these teams for absurd reasons

Ottawa Senators

i root for them when idc about who they against because theyre my brother in basement

Nashville Predators

roman josi

i have pavlovs dogged myself into getting hype as hell over him from this image. no i dont want to talk about it

i could not pick him out of a lineup BTW this is the only photo of him i look at

i think they could afford to be even more yellow in uniform

if you asked me to tell you one thing about this team id genuinely run empty

its all goalies and sharks associations . i have nothing to defend myself with here

Carolina Hurricanes: i know like... 3? of your players who are deeply endearing to me and nothing else. yeah one of them is a goalie can you look the other way please (pyotr kochetkov, seth jarvis, brent burns)

Detroit Red Wings: alex lyon is on this team! i miss radim simek . hes not dead we just snatched him off the cuda captaincy and sent him to detroit.

Philadelphia Flyers: they have gritty on this team and also sam ersson!

Arizona Coyotes/Utah Somethings: i thought their yotes logo was the cutest thing :( they matched with the roadies! honestly massively bummed we dont get the yotes on account of WILD as hell management decisions utah somethings is NOT a snub btw, ive seen the sharks cast refer to them as that and i think its really funny. the blue in the uniforms is cute though ^_^

St. Louis Blues: we series swept them! sorry stl anything for tommy

Boston Bruins

Buffalo Sabres

New York Islanders

Vancouver Canucks

Montreal Canadiens

Chicago: i know two different people that said they played better hockey wearing a chicago jersey . their opinions of this differ WILDLY. if you play hockey, consider it. for science.

i regularly forget/confuse these teams

Winnipeg Jets+Columbus Blue Jackets

i forget the cbj exist regularly igm so sorry. i confuse them with the winnipeg jets because i keep thinkin theyre both planes. who i also gorget with astonishing regularity . i dont know nothing about either them beyond that

Florida Panthers

i genuinely have a really hard time telling them and the preds apart????? NOT EVEN THE SAME COLORS BUT OKAY!

darling of the playoffs RN i think! i like the playoffs, everyone gets so mean LMAO

keep fans in your thoughts at this time because BOY HOWDY. THEY NEED IT.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I FIRGOT THEY EXISTED TOO. I WAS SCROLLING NHL DOT COM SLASH TEAMS TO MAKE SURE I GOT THEM ALL AND . THEY ARE AT THE BOTTOM BECAUSE I GORGOT THEM. IM SORRY TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS. also, mario ferraros childhood team ^_^

i dont hate them BUT...

New Jersey Devils

but also one half of an employee mackblack said they had him play before he was totally ready to come back on an injury ONSE TIME!! and ive not trusted them since

also one half of an employee kaapo kahkonen is on this team! he played 6 games, lost 4, got injured in 2, and the only game hes won was his season first shutout.

they have VERY pretty promotional graphics and also eyebrows

a lot of sharks go to the devs and vice versa which is always really funny ^_^ we got at LEAST four devs-to-sharks guys off the top of my head (we traded okhie and got vitek vanecek, maintaining the delicate balance of it all) and the devs got timo mimo. who also got very pretty eyebrows. timo mimo...

New York Rangers

but hey what are they doing to exwife barclay goodrow over therr . when i said i wanted him to win a third cup i didnt mean i needed him to do it in the era of the pickles comeback . his um??? his contract terms???

nyr yuo are nothing to mme and i wish five thousand years of famine upone you . san jose sharks i do NOT think we shoulda been able to do this. its just a workers rights thing hello

Washington Capitals

but CAP FRIENDLY. GIVE IT BACK. actually seething with rage at this new development. you must understand . if you want to love a team make a primer about them. if you want to love accessible databases write a primer.

also WAIT WAIT BEAUTIFUL FAILHORSE PIERRE LUC DUBOIS IS ON THIS TEAM NOW? please make sure you give him a sparkly star sticker if he does well a game and also peel his tangerines for him and also

#neon etcetra

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thrashermaxey · 6 years ago

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Ramblings: Is Erik Gustafsson For Real? Domi, Drouin, Marchand, & Hamilton (Feb 27)

With the deadline come and gone, I’m sure many of you have had a moment to reflect and digest the moves that were and were not made. Some of these changes hold significant fantasy implications.

If you haven’t already, go ahead and check out the Trade Breakdowns that littered the Dobber landscape the last day or two.

Don’t forget to cross over to the DobberProspects’ site for all the pertinent information you could ever desire on prospects. We’ve updated all the players who have changed hands over the last week, and the profiles are a terrific resource while mining for young talent.

Speaking of some players who swapped squads, Gus Nyquist began his Sharks career skating on the third line beside Joe Thornton and Kevin Labanc at even-strength and was manning the right point on the second power-play unit. The 29-year-old came into the match with just three points in his previous eight games.

He skated 17 minutes putting a single shot on goal. We’ll take this game with a grain of salt as the Sharks did not look their best only producing 20 shots on the evening in a 4-1 defeat to the Bruins.

Brad Marchand led the way for the Bs scoring a shorthanded beauty and adding two assists. He absolutely undressed Erik Karlsson on the goal.

When David Pastrnak went down with the injury two weeks ago, many fantasy owners were concerned about Marchand and Patrice Bergeron continuing their torrid paces. Marchand has nine points in the seven games without his opposite winger. Bergeron has just six.

Jaroslav Halak took the victory in this one. His fourth in a row.

Marcus Johansson skated in his first tilt for Boston playing with David Krejci and Jake DeBrusk on L2. He recorded an assist in the win. MoJo should be able to hold down that spot even when Pastrnak returns. It’ll be Danton Heinen who likely slips out of the top six.

Oh, and Evander Kane took on the Big Fella

{source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Evander Kane goes after and fights Zdeno Chara after getting dropped <a href="https://t.co/NKNpxdO7GF">pic.twitter.com/NKNpxdO7GF</a></p>— Brady Trettenero (@BradyTrett) <a href="https://twitter.com/BradyTrett/status/1100580404908548097?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 27, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}

Buffalo and Philly matched up in one of the early affairs with the Flyers coming away with the two points in a 5-2 victory.

Newcomer, Brandon Montour was skating on the third pairing with Marco Scandella. Montour finished the evening with three shots in 18 minutes while patrolling the second power-play unit.

Fellow Sabres’ blueliner and soon-to-be Calder finalist, Rasmus Dahlin extended his point streak to four games with a first period assist. This is the third time this season that the 18-year-old has strung together four-plus game long streaks.

He’s remarkable.

Claude Giroux led the way for the Flyers with a goal and an assist, while Jakob Voracek added an assist and seven shots on goal. Voracek has quietly righted his campaign after a difficult start. Since November 27, the 29-year-old has 37 points in 40 games while averaging three shots on goal.

Brian Elliot made 34 stops for his second consecutive victory since returning from injury.

The win saw Philadelphia leapfrog Buffalo in the hunt for a Wild Card spot. The Flyers remain seven points back of Pittsburgh which makes it wholly unlikely they can make the dance, but at least they only have CBJ to pass on the way up.

Nashville took on the Blues on Tuesday evening and featured one of their two deadline deal acquisitions. Wayne Simmonds lined up on the right side of Kyle Turris on the second line. Mikael Granlund was not in the lineup and for good reason. The 26-year-old was alerted that he was dealt from Minnesota to Nashville while his wife was in labour. The baby is healthy and it appears that he’ll suit up for his new team on Friday.

When everyone is healthy, I expect the Preds top nine to look something like this:

Filip Forsberg – Ryan Johansen – Viktor Arvidsson

Mikael Granlund – Kyle Turris – Craig Smith

Colton Sissons – Nick Bonino – Wayne Simmonds

It was the red-hot Blues who took this one though, winning 2-0. Yes, Jordan Binnington recorded ANOTHER shutout – his fifth in 18 starts on the season. Insanity.

The 25-year-old now boasts a 0.936 save percentage on the season. This bubble has to burst at some point, but it sure doesn’t appear to be anytime soon.

Alex Pietrangelo assisted on the game-winner and scored the insurance marker.

Three blowouts were featured on Tuesday evening. The Caps dumped the Sens 7-2 in a committee-scoring game. Eight skaters recorded two points in this one including a pair of goals by TJ Oshie.

The Canes scored six straight on Jon Quick before chasing him through two periods. Dougie Hamilton scored two goals and added an assist. Teuvo Teravainen provided a goal and three helpers, and Petr Mrazek won his third straight.

Finally, the Habs stomped the Red Wings 8-1 on the road. The top line for the Canadiens did most of the damage. Andrew Shaw scored a hat trick, Jonathan Drouin contributed four assists, and Max Domi scored two and added three helpers.

Montreal had just two wins in their last eight games coming into this one. The two points will be surely appreciated.

Kevin Hayes made his Jets’ debut on Tuesday skating on a line with Mathieu Perreault and Nikolaj Ehlers at even-strength and on the team’s second power-play unit.

The Jets seem keen to let Patrik Laine ride on the top line for now, but I can’t help envisioning a second line featuring Laine, Hayes and Ehlers as being very exciting. Hayes has always been a deft playmaker. He boasts soft hands and terrific vision. Feeding a player like Laine could result in an entire orchard of apples for the 26-year-old, soon-to-be UFA.

Hayes went pointless in this one though as the Jets fell 3-2 to the Wild.

Laine continued his dam-bursting goal surge. After failing to hit the twine in 15 straight and just two goals in 28 games leading up to his two-goal outing last week, Laine scored in his third consecutive contest and added an assist.

It wasn’t enough though as Joel Eriksson-Ek scored the winner with a minute left to play. Newcomer, Kevin Fiala skated 17 minutes next to Zach Parise and Luke Kunin while replacing the departed, Granlund on the half wall on the team’ top power-play unit.

With two assists in this one, Ryan Donato has points in each of his first four games with the Wild. He’s seeing secondary offensive minutes but is making good on his early opportunities. A good sign.

The Flames topped the Islanders 3-1 and Mike Smith made 26 saves for his fifth straight victory. His improved play likely resulted in the Flames holding back from purchasing a netminder at the deadline.

Mathew Tkachuk snapped a 14-game goalless drought with this pretty between-the-legs tally.

The Penguins took on the Blue Jackets without Kris Letang on Tuesday. Their star blueliner injured his neck in the last contest. Reports indicate that it’s a day-to-day situation.

Letang has only missed six games over the last two seasons, but It’s fantasy playoff time so many owners are surely rolling their eyes and quoting band-aid commercial jingles. Here’s hoping it’s actually day-to-day.

Matt Murray with the win. Geno Malkin, Sidney Crosby, and Jake Guentzel all tallied, and Jared McCann chipped in two. That’s the type of result the Penguins need a lot more of down the stretch.

With a goal against the Coyotes, Sasha Barkov extended his point streak to six games and 13 points. The 23-year-old is clicking right along this season at an 86-point pace and creates magic on a nightly basis.

He’s another player who has started to shake the moniker of being injury prone. He’s hasn’t missed a game this year and only sat out three games last season. (no jinx).

Mark Stone suited up in his first tilt with the Golden Knights versus the Stars on Tuesday. He lined up beside Paul Stastny and Max Pacioretty on the second line. He was up on the top power-play unit.

Stone finished the evening with six shots on goal.

Pacioretty scored two goals as the Golden Knights defeated the Stars 4-1. Vegas looked strong in this one, peppering Ben Bishop with 46 shots. They look ready to make some noise in the West again this spring.

So, Erik Gustafsson appears to be the real deal, eh? The 26-year-old has 15 points in his last 12 games and has been cruising at an unbelievable pace since late-November. His 37 points in 37 games stretching back to November 24th are the third most by a blueliner in the league. He trails only Brent Burns (46), and Mark Giordano (38).

Incredibly, his metrics aren’t that far off. Sure, it’s unlikely that he’ll be able to convert on 11 percent of his shots as he has this season – certainly not the 15.4 percent he’s clicked on during the last three months, but his IPP and even-strength shooting percentage are right where they should be.

He’s feasting on the power play with Hart candidate, Patty Kane, soon-to-be 40-goal man, Alex DeBrincat, Dylan Strome and Jonathan Toews. There aren’t too many better spots for an offensive defenseman to make hay.

Additionally, the 26-year-old has been accruing his points in a manner that predicts continued success. Of his 45 points, 32 have been primary.

That leaves two questions: How do we value him moving forward, and what does this mean for the high-end blueline prospects that Chicago boasts in the pipeline?

The latter question is more readily answered. Henri Jokiharju is a tremendous defender. He brings a complete game that is burgeoning despite his young age. However, he’s likely better suited for a secondary offensive role in the NHL.

2018 first-rounder, Adam Boqvist has all sorts of tantalizing offensive tools. He’s been very good with London in his first OHL season and will be a force with Sweden at next year’s World Junior tournament. However, he has plenty of work left to do when it comes to defending and was very young for his draft year. His time is still a way down the road.

To answer the evaluation of Gustafsson, we need to consider a myriad of information. We’ve already concluded that his production isn’t a mirage. He’s producing in a mostly sustainable way at the moment. Do we expect him to the point-per-game player he has been for half the season? No. That would be foolish. There’s your expected regression.

Do we see Kane replicating a 110-point campaign next season? Probably not. Gustafsson has been on the ice with Kane more than any other player – 480 total even-strength minutes and 127 minutes on the power play. It’s unlikely we see those minutes shrink next season, but expecting a replication of Kane’s career-best season as he enters his age-31 campaign would be unwise.

Heading into drafts next year, Gustafsson will likely be a volatile target. If he continues his success down the stretch, 55-plus points are very achievable. That should land him amongst the top-10 for blueline targets most seasons.

However, with his lack of pedigree and the expected regression of Kane, people will need to decide if he’s a 40 or 60-point potential player. Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for you, but I’ll be leaning towards a player capable of sustaining top-15 production from the backend for 2019-20.

Final thought on this: after years of hype and unfulfilled promises, Justin Schultz recorded 51 points in 78 games in 2016-17. That following draft he was taken 51st on average across all platforms. He was also stuck in a lineup that featured Kris Letang. Gustafsson doesn’t have any real competition for his deployment.

Follow me on Twitter @Hockey_Robinson

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-is-erik-gustafsson-for-real-domi-drouin-marchand-hamilton-feb-27/

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