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cat-mentality · 1 year ago

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In my heart there is a world where Lucie survives. This is a peak into this world.

You are shaking.

It's not cold anymore. There is no snow or the endless emptiness of Greenland, there are no monsters howling in the wind, your burrowed clothes are not suitable for the hot weather.

It doesn't matter.

You are shaking.

You are cold.

Your ears are still ringing with the echoes of the howls and the growls and the sound of flesh being ripped.

The world around you buzzes.

There are people talking, men in suits and men in uniforms holding guns, men with lab coats and spreadsheets. They are looking at you, asking questions.

You don't answer.

They don't feel real.

You still expect to blink and be back in the cold.

You expect to blink and be met with the creature staring at you.

You expect to blink and feel only pain as it's teeth tear you apart.

If you close your eyes you are back there. In the locker, pressing yourself against Emi, holding her as tightly as she held you, biting your lips so hard blood flooded your mouth, breath stuck in your chest as you prayed you were quiet enough.

You weren't.

You are still shaking.

Maybe it's not cold, maybe it's the adrenaline still in your system.

The men in suits are still speaking, you still can't hear what they are saying.

It doesn't matter.

They don't feel real.

Real was the fear pulsating in your veins as you saw the monster.

Real was the soul crushing realization that you were going to die.

Real was the painful hold you kept on Emi as you took her with you.

Real was the rage that took over you when you saw Carol pushing those boxes in Emi's way.

Everything after that feels like a dream.

You still can't believe you made it out.

You aren't a religious person, you never believed in miracles.

But you are here.

And that's a miracle.

The men with the lab coats are speaking now. You know you should be paying attention, Benito is talking back at them, the words don't register on your brain but the venom in it is comforting.

The men with the lab coats don't feel real.

Emi feels real.

You have your arms around her and she is clutching your shirt with trembling hands.

Your arm brushes against Benito as he presses himself on Emi's other side, her free hand clutching his.

They have not let go of each other since the meeting room.

Since Carol tried to throw her to the monster again.

You think you should feel pity for her. You think you should feel something about the fact that she was just a scared young woman trying to survive the impossible, just another soul who had a brutal death.

You don't.

You are happy it was her. You are happy it's her blood splashed all over Benito, that it isn't Emi's blood.

You are happy that it's her mangled body that was left to be buried in the snow, not Benito's.

You didn't know her.

You don't know him either.

It doesn't matter.

He is yours. You are his.

You went to that hell together.

You had to leave it together.

Diego feels real as he presses himself on your other side, you would lean on him if that wouldn't require moving a single inch away from Emi, one of his hands are on your shoulders, the other is being held by Jefrrey.

Jeffrey is shaking more than all of you, practically hiding behind Diego as he holds his hand like it's the only thing keeping him tethered on earth.

You understand the feeling.

If you let go of Emi, if your arm stops brushing against Benito, if Diego steps a little further from you you think you will break.

Luis is the only one not touching anyone, but that is because he is standing in front of you, even if exhaustion must be weightening him down he stands tall and proud, ready to defend you, he is still clutching the shotgun.

The men in lab coats stop talking. Everything is silent as you all stare at each other in silence, you don't know what the fuck happened, you don't even know where you are.

It doesn't matter, as long as you are all together it doesn't matter.

The first words that register on your brain come from Emi.

"What will happen to me?"

Her voice is shaking and she sounds so very young, so vulnerable as she clutches you and Benito.

"She stays with us."

Your voice doesn't sound your own. It's meek, low and the men in the suits are looking at each other and you understand when one of them starts talking about custody and child protective services, Emi starts to cry, shaking harder.

"SHE STAYS WITH US"

You scream this time and they all look at you with wide eyes. You must look insane right now, bloodied, still wearing clothes made for the freezing cold of Greenland, shaking like a leaf, glasses cracked, eyes haunted.

You don't care.

They are not taking Emi from you.

They are not taking any of them from you.

You did not survive hell to have men in suits worthy more than your life to take your child from you. You will not lose Emi to the legal system after not losing her to monsters.

You don't care about logistics, you don't care about anything.

This is your kid.

They will not take her from you, you will burn this whole building to the ground if they try to.

They don't.

They make you sign some papers that you do not read, your hand shaking so much that you can barely write, and then they put you in a car.

Luis gives the driver an address you don't know, you trust him.

Vaguely you understand that you are in Mexico as the car drives through unknown streets. It doesn't matter, you are all together.

You and Diego always talked about visiting Mexico one day.

Luis' abuelita is a small woman with wrinkles on her face and a smile that disappears when she sees you. Her home smells of home made cake and coffee, there are various pictures of Luis on the walls showing him going from a chubby baby to the man almost folding in half to allow her to hug him.

She doesn't ask questions.

You don't think any of you would be able to answer her if she did.

Her home is small, but it doesn't matter, you don't think you could bear to stay far from any of them ever again. You all fall asleep cramped into Luis' room for weeks, waking each other up with nightmares every half an hour at most, taking turns into crying in each other's arms.

None of you buy new phones.

None of you can bear the cold anymore.

You still shake with no reason from time to time.

You dream about Carol being dragged by the monster, about the sound of her screams as the creature tore into her flesh.

You dream about Mikael and how he begged as he was consumed by the mass of mangled bodies, about how he looked so terrified in his last moments.

You look at Emi. You look at Diego. You look at Benito. You look at Luis. You look at Jeffrey.

You are still happy it was them.

Panacea pays you a insane amount of what Benito calls "shut the fuck up" money.

You don't care about that.

They give you papers with Emi's name, naming you her legal guardian. The man with the expensive look at you like he expects you to thank him for that.

You close the door on his face as Benito and Emi flip him off from behind you.

You all fly to Brasil and have a burial for Emi's father, burying an empty casket alongside that of her mother.

She cries.

You all cry with her.

But you all together, you will survive this too.

You call your family. They are happy to hear about you, they beg you to go home.

You don't know how to tell them that home for you is not a place, that it's four men and a child you went to hell with. You tell them you will visit one day.

Benito starts medical school.

Emi goes back to school.

Luis buys a new home for his abuelita.

Diego, without knowing shit about the city, gets a job as a tour guide.

Jeffrey gets his job back.

You start to search about the monsters that haunt your nightmares.

You have to know. You have to understand. You have to make sure that this wouldn't happen again, and that if it does you will never be that helpless again.

You all still live together, you all still sleep cramped into one room because the nightmares are unbearable otherwise, the panic of waking up and not seeing one another is not worth the privacy.

You heal, slowly, painstakingly so, but you do.

One day at a time. One laughter at a time. One nightmare at times.

There is a knock at the door one sunny day, you are all in the living room bitching about what you will watch, Luis has Benito in a chokehold as the shorter man claws at his arms, Emi is recording the whole thing on her new phone. You all freeze, muscles tensing.

You open the door.

A short man with bright green eyes, a scar on his face and a missing arm greets you with a smile, a tall woman with a blue streak on her hair stands a little behind and she waves, a blonde man stand even further behind his eyes are closed but you still can feel that he is looking right at you.

"We know about Greenland."

You freeze. The others come closer, holding each other like a life line, Emi pushes forward until she is in front of you, brows furrowed, fists closed like she is ready to throw a punch, her voice doesn't shake as she asks a question.

This is my kid, you think not for the first time.

You are so very proud of her.

"Are you from Panacea?"

"No" The closest man shakes his head, his smile so very kind, mirth on his eyes as Emi nods still looking at him with distrust

"Can you help with the weird ring stuck to Pizza's boy finger?"

Jeffrey takes the clue to show the ring sticking his hand forward, they have tried to get the fucking thing off in any way short of just cutting off his finger but nothing came out of it.

They all pretend it doesn't haunt their every moment.

"We can try." The man says "We have some experience with this type of thing. I'm Arthur, Arthur Cervero."

"Emilia Porchade."

You don't trust this man and his companions. You don't know if you want to be sucked into whatever storm they are bringing with them, you don't know if you are ready for it.

But maybe those people are the key, maybe they have the answers to your questions, maybe they can actually help Jeffrey.

You look at your family, your hand on Emi's shoulder as she still looks the strangers up and down judging them. They look back at you and a silent conversation takes place, finally Diego nods at you and you step back from the door.

You are all together.

That matters.

#i don't actually fuck with second pov's #but it felt fitting to write it like this #lucie my beloved #opq #lucie pocharde #luis m kennedy #benito camelo #jeffrey bacon #diego thalles #ordem paranormal #ordem paranormal quarentena

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