#luckily I was already on the toilet for when I SHAT MYSELF :)

[ur-local-neighborhood-scene-kid]

This motherfucker decided to drop down in front of me while I was taking a PISS

As big as my palm when he’s all stretched out :|

He’s lucky I’m not scared of spiders! His ass would have been long squashed if he had done that around anyone else 😬

My brother would have had a heart attack and died literally on the spot. This is the biggest cellar spider I’ve ever caught! Holy moley. Bit rude interrupting my 2am piss tho >:|

This thing is huge. Maybe 4in long when it’s in a relaxed standing position. Maybe 5 when it’s laying flat with all its legs stretched out. Fucking hell

It’s too dark rn to let him out so he’ll have to wait till tomorrow!