#lucifer will literally just sit outside our door and wail

[nomaishuttle]

i wanna go upstairs and play skyrim or prrhaps da sims or perhaps ori orperhaps outer wilds (i dont play games in alliterative sets of 2 on pupose it just happens) but denji is asleep on my lap and if i moved hed be so sad. and lucifer eould prly start crying bc he loves to do that

[mrs-dr-strange]

Exorcizamus

Prompt: What happens when the God of Thunder has been possessed by a demon?

Warnings: Possessed Thor is a bit fucked up, swearing, mentions of violence

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: I wrote this as part of @lady-thor-foster Halloween Writing challenge, albeit very late. I hope y’all enjoy it!

This was definitely not how you thought the night would go.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

Tony sighed as he looked between the monitors, “he’s like the Energizer Bunny in there. Any luck over there Dumbledore?”

You wished the couch would come to life like some Final Destination kill scene and swallow you whole so that this night would end. While normal people would be getting trashed at a Halloween party dressed in sexy or quirky costumes, and children dressed in whatever animated movie character was popular that year were becoming a Dentist’s wet dream from the numerous soon-to-be cavities from their candy haul’s- you were stuck here.

With a demon.

Well not like actual Lucifer himself bursting through the ground from the deepest depths of Hell to bring the world to its knees and obliterate every living soul to live for all eternity in some fucked up never ending nightmare. And to be fair it wasn’t completely your fault. Well it mostly was, but Sam didn’t stop you so technically he could get some blame as well.

“Can you just-,” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, “please explain how this happened. Because it’s not making a lick of sense.” Steve and Sam were staring through the monitors at Thor, each sharing the same face of confusion. The rest of the team were either on missions or were Clint and actually had kids to take trick-or-treating.

Thud

You shot out of your seat, your jaw clenching, “I was trying to finish the Halloween decorations since all of you are a bunch of party poopers and didn’t have anything out. I mean I expected more from you Stark, I haven’t seen a single pumpkin in this compound.”

“Getting off track there (Y/N), bring it back in.” Sam leaned against the conference table, folding his arms across his chest.

“I Googled decorations and found that pentagram thing and I thought it was spooky and painted it on the heli-pad outside since it already had a red circle on it. How was I supposed to know it was actually legit?”

Thud

Steve looked over his shoulder, “well did the Google say it was real?” Tony slowly turned around with his hands clasped together.

“FRIDAY please tell me you got that recorded.”

“Yes sir, and cataloged under ‘Just Capsicle Things.’” Tony smiled and continued his research.

You huffed, “yeah and I can also read online that Michael Jackson, Elvis, and Selena are living in Brazil together living their best lives sippin’ on margaritas but it doesn’t mean it’s true Steve. Everyone always say their witchy related things are real to get more likes and follows. Sam was there too, so don’t blame me on this.”

Sam slowly turned to face you, “Babygirl I never agreed on this voodoo stuff, I love you and all but what did I tell you when you went along and looked it up? Hmm? I said ‘Hell no, this is some horror movie about to happen.’ And what happened? Voodoo stuff gone wrong, this is why I don’t believe in this voodoo shit.”

Two Hours Earlier

You smiled looking at the masterpiece, the heli-pad was painted exactly like the pentagram from online. The fake cobwebs were spread amongst the balcony, jack-o-lanterns of all sizes adorning the walkways with fake blood smeared and splattered on the windows- tonight was going to be perfect. Steve was training, Tony more than likely had been in his lab for the past two days, and Sam was supposed to grab the pizza and beer for the party.

Everything was perfect.

As soon as you turned around to wash out the paint brushes that’s when you felt it- the hair on your arms began to stick up. You smiled turning around, shielding your eyes from where Thor used the bifrost to come back to earth. Mjolnir flew past you and cemented itself into the wall of the Compound.

When you told Thor about the plans for Halloween, he was ecstatic- never having experienced the human holiday before, he wanted to live through a ‘full experience’ before leaving back to Asgard.

“Lady (Y/N)! What a joyous day, tonight we shall feast on the souls of the dead and stuff our faces with candies like the tiny humans do.” Thor’s booming laughter came to a stop when he tried moving from the painted pentagram.

The color drained from your face as your eyes widened, black smoke rose from the intricate red lines and coiled its way around Thor’s body. “Step back, Lady (Y/N)! I shall protect you from this.” The veins in his arms protruded as he attempted to summon Mjolnir back to his hold, the black tendrils snaking their way around his chest, securing his arms to his sides as he cried out.

Just like a scene from a trashy horror movie, the black smoke began to restrict his thrashing body. “RUN LADY (Y/N), FIND THE OT-” Thor’s voice cut off from the sounds of him choking as the smoke entered his mouth, nostrils, eyes, and ears. His grunts of pain became louder as he fought and lost against the intruder.

Thor fell to his hands and knees, his face contorting as bolts of white and blue lightning shot from his body.

Terror overtook your face as Thor looked up at you- his once beautiful blue eyes were gone, now were emitting sparks and lightning from them. A growl rumbled out from his chest as he stood.

Well, fuck.

You sprinted towards the door to the Compound, narrowly avoiding the stupid pumpkins you set out earlier. The heavy thuds of Thor’s footsteps increased as he began to gain speed. Skidding around the corner of the balcony and into the living room, Sam stood- jaw dropping open as he tried taking in what was unfolding in front of him.

“MOVE YOUR ASS WILSON,” you nearly tacked Sam as you shut the glass door behind you, “FRIDAY CODE FUCKING RED!” Sam’s eyes darted between Thor and you. “I leave to get pizza and you get the God of fucking Thunder possessed?!”

“Fuck the pizza Sam, the glass door isn’t gonna hold him we need to get to the conference room.” You grabbed his hand as the emergency lights began flickering, alarm wailing as Code Red Protocols began to set in place. FRIDAY unlocked the doors to allow for you and Sam to make your way down the corridors and to the secured conference room.

Present

“I mean someone online has to know how to get rid of demons, right?” You looked up to Sam as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “I mean they put the damn instructions on how to get one here, they gotta know how to get them out.”

“Listen lovebirds, as much fun as this is, we have a little problem- well not little more like a missing Asgardian-Demon-Possessed-God who thinks this is Amityville.” Tony projected the live camera feed from the balcony where Thor had once been trying to punch his way through the titanium lock down door. The deafening sound of thunder filled your ears followed by the whir of the electricity shutting down. Steve grabbed his shield while Sam pushed you behind him.

“Stark, tell me FRIDAY is still online somehow.” Steve put his ear to the door in an attempt to listen for Thor’s footsteps.

Tony scoffed, “FRIDAY runs on a different power supply for this very reason Rogers, right buddy?” the corner of his mouth quirked up as he pointed towards the ceiling, the room fell silent waiting for the chirping sound of JARVIS acknowledging them. “Sound in man.”

He clasped his hands over his head, nervously laughing as he looked around the room, “Well. This is just fantastic.”

You could feel your fingers begin to twitch from anxiety, “We just gotta get the power back online right? Can’t be that hard.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Yeah sure, it’s just a neon flashing sign saying ‘press me’, and pow- the electricity comes back online and we can watch The Poltergeist with an actual Demon. He already has the pizza and beer out there with him, so why not? Not to mention a literal demon has possessed a God and cannot be accounted for.”

“If we stay here we’re sitting ducks, if we go out there we at least have a chance of not dying in this tiny ass space.” Sam took your hand in his, gently squeezing it as his thumb brushed over your knuckles. “Steve, time to live up to your name.”

This plan was a long shot, and by long shot I mean you could go to the moon and back and still be shorter than what the plan entailed.

Your breath caught at every corner, Steve was taking lead and scoping out the corners before signaling an all clear, followed by Tony, Sam and yourself. The soft scuffing of shoes echoing down the corridors, Steve was the first one to stop. His body grew tense as he raised his hand for everyone to stop.

The soft crackling of electricity and the thud of Thor’s footsteps increasingly getting louder as they got closer to your group. Logistically, hallways weren’t the best for defending yourself along with three other people again a Demon possessed God, but it’s not like you exactly had the choice of prime real estate here.

“Thor? It’s (Y/N).” You squinted as the sparks from Thor’s finger tips gave the hall a blue hue, “I just want to talk.”

“Puny humans, I will rip your weak spines from your bodies and beat you with them until your slow and agonizing death, then wear them as a necklace.” Thor’s usual deep and beautiful voice now felt like it could crawl under your skin.

Your face scrunched up as you looked to Sam and Tony, who sported the same expressions, “Christ, did you hear that?” Sam jerkily nodded his head as he kept you behind his back. To

“Or shall I ha-“

“Steve, make him shut the hell up already.”

Steve took a deep breath, cocked his arm back and launched his shield at Thor, slicing through the air until it ricocheted off the wall and floor, eventually lodging itself into the ceiling above Thor.

A cackle rose from Thor’s throat as he watched the miserable attempt. “Stupid humans, now I will-“ As he stepped forward- he hissed, seemingly stuck within a boundary. A smile plastered on your face as you realized it worked. Looking above Thor’s head, drawn on with a tube of red lipstick on the inside of Steve’s shield was a Devil’s trap.

“Hit it Stark.” 

Tony grinned and played the recording on his phone, “bye bye Regan.”

‘Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas..’

Thor’s hands began to twitch, “you truly believe you can stop me? I will only stop once your hearts are ripped from your chests.”

‘omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica’

“You sure this is going to work (Y/N)?” You could see the sweat beginning to form on Steve’s forehead as he watched Thor try to escape from the trap.

‘ergo draco maledicte, ut ecclesiam tuam secura, tibi facias libertate servire’

"I saw it on TV, we should be good.” 

‘te rogamus, audi nos.”

Thor’s body stiffened, his head shooting back as a blood curdling scream escaping from his throat. The black smoke being expelled from his body, forming an ominous cloud above his head. As he fell limply to the floor, the black cloud erupted into flames spanning across the ceiling. 

Sam grabbed you and dropped to the floor, shielding you from the blast. Groaning at the cold tile against your back you looked up into his brown eyes. “You ok babygirl?” Sam sat back on his heels, eyes scanning over you body looking for any signs of harm.

Steve knelt by Thor’s body checking his breathing and pulse. 

“Besides having a man tackle me to the ground to prevent me from the blast that happened on the other side of the room? I would headbutt your pretty face if we weren’t together.” He smiled and shook his head as you pushed him off of you, “yeah, yeah, Love you too (Y/N).”

Tony stood, brushing off his arms, “listen next year, how about more pumpkins and less Demonic possessions of super powered Gods?” 

You groaned, shielding your face with your hands trying to conceal your embarrassment, “no one else will hear about this, Stark. Understood? Because I will kick your ass Stark and Im 80% FRIDAY wouldn't stop me.”