#ltlsays

[ltlwinds]

I want to tell him I love him I love him I love him. But what if I burst into flames when I do so? What happens then? Who will witness my gentleness but God? Who?

[ltlwinds]

Not necessarily imo. They’re both huge productions with great strategic planners Im sure. Both works of Art are epic and deserve the public acknowledgement shareholders deem best for the success of the project.

Like yes, PR shade & flops is real and sometimes iconically scandalous but keep in mind it’s ALWAYS strategic.

[ltlwinds]

Oftentimes I feel emotions so deeply and viscerally I need to puke it out. I never do physically- but I did in the past when physical pain was also involved ( HAD to choose between two painful devils). The relief of vomiting is euphoric. If you concentrate enough and imagine all the unwanted emotions while shoving your fingers down your throat, I swear they get out.

Anyhow. I’ve been told by two professionals I respect enough that I am too logical and analytical with my emotions. It’s a know fact amongst myselves- would be blasphemous if it wasn’t.

Intellectualizing emotions is a coping mechanism AND organizational process. I enjoy deconstructing, decapitating, understanding and seeing how something works from the inside out, etymologies of every concept and philosophy.

Of course I fell for the Mind Palace renovations perversions, or how to go through your mind as You, everyone else (subject to meticulous clearance process ), a terribly severe critic and GOD and removing, enhancing, replacing, reconstructing, repainting systems and processes of going through and in the world. As me. How am I in the world? There is so much to take in consideration and I cannot leave it all to such an ephemeral concept as emotions. They burn lives, destroy careers and future generational wealth. OF COURSE ILL INTELLEFTUWLIZE EMOTIONS !

WHO WOULDNT !?!?!

Here I am getting emotional 🤭

This is proving to be a vast and intricate new study and experience subject. I’m diving in. I’ll keep you posted.

💙

[ltlwinds]

Dear one of my Angels

I need a helpful hand. A warm home and

Calm

Walls

A soft breeze, and

A thousand

Flowers

And bees

I want love in it warmest blue.

In its shadiest pink

And coolest sun.

I long for an ocean-full of liquid love from a devoted lover.

I want a hug from a loyal friend

a kind brother’s kiss

Perhaps even a stranger’s smile.

I need me to look at the sky and promise three thousand hundred tomorrows.

I need to tell Me to be full of Myselves & I

- M. Lena

[ltlwinds]

To all the versions of you. wild woman

[ltlwinds]

It’s 1:30 am and I’m thinking of emails I deserve to be getting la*d as a mermaid 🧜🏽‍♀️

[ltlwinds]

i love august. The berries, the rustling leaves at night , the singing cicadas , the dancing trees. August is majestic.

[ltlwinds]

**create manic state by smoking flowers and drinking caffeine **

🌸🧠accomplish a June worth of garden work + landscaping 🦋⛰️

[ltlwinds]

maybe I feel miserable and sad because I haven’t eaten steak in forever ?

[ltlwinds]

i miss him i miss him

i miss him so much

and yet, he does not exist

[ltlwinds]

just cleaned my contacts list. I feel lighter already ✨

[ltlwinds]

why are some fathers so mentally obtuse ?

[ltlwinds]

sometimes weird things happen for a long period of time in different spheres of my life and I go like

“ what is CERN doing “ and google it. Then weirder things happen

[ltlwinds]

growing up is realizing grandma was right. Take care of your hair. Be kind. Smile often. Make your bread.

[ltlwinds]

my heart hurts and I don’t know why. There’s so much traffic in my head.

[ltlwinds]

here’s the night at the park, under the moon, above the sea level. I was here in the city and my heart was away by the Méditerranée. Sometimes I blink and realize I’m with people doing things living my life creating memories or whatever we call them these days. building dreams and fortunes and forteresses with broken bones and an empty stomach .

heart full, never green always in love sometimes hurting. I wonder and I wander and truly never land anywhere but in his arms. My heart rests. My eyes smile my mouth reaching for absolution. And now I’m a bit sad because he will maybe never know how beautiful he was, how pretty he makes my stories, how my spirit dances when he touches the edges of my mind’s eye. I wish him beauty and joy and no sacrifice like mine.