#lsigmusic

[littlescaryinternetguy]

Being small is great. Getting shrunk is even better. Getting shrunk by someone loving on you is the best.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

Fans of Various Styles of Music: How Would They Treat Tinies?

If you're like me, and you are, you often wonder how various music fan stereotypes would treat tinies. Also, you are wondering if my cats are the best cats, better than yours. Well, like the Internet, I'm full of answers. As to the second question, my cats ARE the best cats, better than your cats, although your cats are like the number 1a to my cats' number 1. Somekitty has to be number 1, and it is my cats. We can now put that question to rest.

But, LSIG, what about the first question? Well, I have forgotten it. Let me glance up there and... ah. Yes. Here we go. Emo: they would be really passive aggressive about how small and vulnerable the tinies are. "I guess you can't flip this almond over," they would say, brushing their asymmetrical haircuts aside. "I guess I'll do it for you. I can. I guess." Some people are into that but I would eat the nearest roach motel. 3/10. Powerviolence: much like emos, but they would be at first fascinated by the power inequalities the tinies represent. Eventually they would be disgusted by them and sample the sound tinies make when you drop a VCR tape of Faces of Death on them. 2/10. Bluegrass: anyone is legally allowed to steal from bluegrass fans, so feel free to borrow car keys, spoons, interesting bits from their CPAP machines, fifty dollar bills, and muscle relaxers. That having been said they are generally non-offensive sorts, if you can get past the fact that they're from Brooklyn but talk about their spiritual home in the mountain hollers.. 5/10. Black metal: black metal people are the nicest people in the world. They are so nice. They are all vegetarian and they all volunteer at animal shelters. Feel free to show yourselves to them. They will call you 'little dude' no matter what your gender and gender expression. You may be asked to join their band. My advice: do it (see: Nobody's Fool by @ratcatcher0325 for a good read about a tiny in a band). 9/10. Norwegian black metal: exactly like black metal except one in a hundred is into the Astaru Folk Church and will kill you, either on purpose or boring you to death with impassioned but deeply stupid rants about the natural supremacy of "the Hyperborean Race", who all look like Taylor Swift and are all-powerful but for some reason they aren't in charge of anything except small press runs of Turner Diaries knock-offs. Still, you gotta like those odds. Will also do your makeup, provided your makeup is black or white and is applied with a paintbrush. 9/10 or 0/10. J-pop: will call you kawaii at frequencies beyond even your hearing. The amount of pastel colors will make you think you died and were reincarnated as a Peep. Maybe you were. They call that 'isekai' and you have no idea what that means. Neither do I. The music will either give you diabetes from how cloyingly sweet it is, chain migraines from the hypercaffeinated beats, or both. Some people can handle that. Some people are Alvin, Simon, and/or Theodore. Also they will NEVER put you down, which, admittedly: nice. 6/10, 7/10 if you have sunglasses, 8/10 if you have sunglasses and earplugs. More as I remember other forms of music. Feel free to suggest your favorite.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

A band pissed off that some asshole bean critic called them 'fairycore'.

"What the fuck does that even mean?" asks Ben, the keyboard player and lead vocalist, in an interview. "Are any of us fairies?' "Actually, I am," says the bass player. "Yeah, but you're gay, not..." and here the keyboard player mimics flapping wings. "It's dumb, and reductive," they continue. "Lou is a borrower. Gina used to be big but got shrunk. I'm a fucking pixie, for fuck's sake. Mary is a bean for fuck's sake! None of us are even fairies. And anyway, what is the irreducible, if you'll pardon the incipient pun, quality that makes us 'fairycore'? Is there some sort of quality in the music fairies make that makes something 'fairycore'? Tell that to TestXCD [fairy hip hop MC from Oklahoma. -ed], she'll kick your ass. We play music." Gina pipes up. "Here's what makes us different from other bands. Here's what being tiny means to our music: touring is a ton cheaper for us. 'Get in the van'? Nah, get in Mary's hatchback." Mary, the backup singer/keyboardist, puts down her beer. "No way, I use fairy dust to spirit us from gig to gig. The Prius is an illusion. Just like my gigantic size of five foot one inch." "'Thanks for coming to the show, we've spirited your children away to Elizabeth City and replaced them with mystical changelings!'" says Ben in a high-pitched voice before breaking into laughter. "Fairycore. Jesus. Kiss my tiny white ass."

[littlescaryinternetguy]

It is Spotify Wrapped season still. Now I loathe Spotify because it is impoverishing my friends and colleagues, creating a world where art is made soullessly on an assembly line. But that's neither here nor there. Ahem. ANYWAY, here's what I propose you do instead of listening to Daniel Ek pissing on art. I will make a mix, lasting from one to two hours (maybe more if the songs are long), for three mutuals. All you have to do is give me three words you want the mix to sound like. Previous mixes were inspired by "magical pupusa memories" and "sparkling galaxy mermaids". I will attempt to be as faithful as possible; I won't drop some Brooklyn methhead screeching about city fear into your mix of "pleasant wooloo vistas". Of course, conversely, I won't slip some pastoral drift into your mix of "lightning fear abyss".

I'll try to get the mixes done by Christmas. Employees of Global Fairy Domination Corp are not eligible. Children under 18 must have permission of adult, and also be over 18. Previous winners know I'm a soft touch and will make them another one any time, just wait you greedyguts.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

There is not enough written about the art of tinies. Tiny art. Tiny music. What sort of music do borrowers play? Do they even play music? Or, since they have been living unseen and unheard by their larger cousins for generations and centuries and millennia, is their music a music of rustles, of soft winds over surfaces, pianississimo? Do fairies paint? Do pixies sculpt? Do tinies write? They must. What would it be like?

[littlescaryinternetguy]

Tinies would still look at the sea much as prehistoric Westerners did: it would be the end, an impossible expanse. Every wave would be a tsunami; every fish a whale to their Jonah. They'd still try, because they have to. They aren't different from us. On the other side of the river they would see the smoke of human life rise. And if one befriended a person, and that person eventually took them to the other side, they would come back like an astronaut. They would have seen things that were impossible to dream of, even if it was only what their side of the river looked from so far away. There's a song by Laurie Anderson that comes to mind, "The Visitors".

A group of American minimal artists were on a goodwill trip to China. Near the end of their visit, they stopped in a remote province where few Americans had ever gone. One of the Chinese hosts seemed to be very confused about the United States. He kept asking questions like: "Is it true that Americans ride airplanes … to work?" "Is it true that all your food is made in factories?"

One of the artists was a conceptualist whose specialties was theories about information and truth. He decided to try out one of his theories on the host

So when the host asked, "Is it true you have robots in your houses?" he said, "Yes, yeah. We have lots of them. It's true."

The host asked, "Is it true that Americans live on the moon?" The artist said, "Yes, it's true. A lot of us live there. In fact, we go there all the time."

In this province, however, the word for moon was the same as the word for heaven. The hosts were amazed that Americans traveled to heaven. They were even more amazed that we were able to come back--that we went to heaven all the time

They look like us They act like us Remember us They are not us

[littlescaryinternetguy]

A duet

A scenario where a borrower lives in the house of a musician. The musician is a big fan of classical, and drones: music where notes are held for a long time. They're working on a long-form piece for violin, bowing a note to the accompaniment of reel-to-reel tape. One late evening, the tape breaks and they stop immediately, angry... but hear a quiet, thin, high instrument playing a note a fifth above the drone. They chalk it up to hearing things. This can happen when you're way deep in a sound like they've been. But the sound the small instrument made intrigued them. They start playing below the bridge, circular bowing, their violin now sighing. They hear the other instrument again, playing the fifth. They stop, bow poised over the strings. They wait. Two minutes, three... and then a small song, a simple melody, played faster and faster, without embellishment, ending with a keening. They put down their violin. "If you would play that for me again, I'd be most grateful," they say. Nothing. They sigh, compose themselves to stand, and then the melody plays again. They play a low ostinato under it. And the two instruments meet and embrace and dance throughout the night.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

RIP Mary Weiss of the Shangri-La's. I first heard this song as a cover by Superchunk, and the cover is great, one of my favorites from one of my favorite bands, but the original is better. I'll be back in the time it takes to break someone's heart I've gotta break his heart

[littlescaryinternetguy]

Whats the most underrated/under utilized instrument in your opinion?

Well, obviously it depends on the sort of music you're talking about. In yr basic rock music, I'm gonna say bagpipes. You heard me. You get that drone going, you just know you're about to get the top of your head taken off. Hurdy-gurdies too. There's a band called France (they're French, interesting enough) that's just guitar, hurdy-gurdy and drums. Just one riff, over and over, harder and harder, absolutely laying waste to everything around it until there is no more time, you've been listening to this riff for three hours now and you could go another three easily... but only five minutes have passed.

In classical music? Turntables. Granted I like a lot of modern classical.

Interestingly enough just this morning I bought an album of recordings from inside suitcases going through lost baggage claims, and the hum of the conveyor belts and thunks and whirs actually make for a better listen to most things put together on purpose. And there's a field recording of this South American bird, the Oropendola, on Rural Situationism that seriously sounds like minimal jazz if you give it a chance.

Really the best and most under-rated instrument in almost any genre in the end is the amateur, the sloppily played, the person who isn't waiting to learn their instrument back and forth because the music they have to make, they have to make NOW. No time for learning bullshit like "how to hold it" and "don't play it with a bow you ninny dumbass". Try it today.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

I'm a DJ and my radio show is at 2:00 (85 minutes from now) . You probably haven't heard a lot of it (a lot of it is brand new), so if you like kinda avant-garde music DM me and I'll give you the URL.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

I Know Everything About Music So You Don't Have To

Send me a picture of your OP or YOU or SOMEONE ELSE'S OP or a COOL DOG YOU KNOW and I will assign it a piece of music that you might not like but that you probably haven't heard before! It doesn't seem like much, but it's all I can do. In the biz we call this selling the sizzle and it's why I am always be closing.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

An attempt to make the sound of fae music. Not necessarily what you expect. No tin whistles. Worth y’all’s time. Listen to: Fae Transit by Sam McLoughlin

[littlescaryinternetguy]

Basically I just wanna be a tiny musician like @ratcatcher0325’s Penn but I want to play weird stuff that looked at one way is weirdly soothing but looked at normally really just sounds like four amps in a car wreck.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

"What would music made by tinies sound like?" I smile as I lift the aux in both miniscule hands, ram it into the socket, and lean against it, looking at you and nodding ever so subtly. You will never ask me the question again.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

Fairy music review: Still House Plants, If I don't make it, I love u

Imagine you've got a great smoky soul chanteuse: Sade, say, or even more close, Alison Moyet. Look her up, I'll wait. YES, THE CHICK FROM YAZ. Now pump her and her band (crack musicians all) full of painkillers and tell 'em to just wing that mother. Like, all of this stuff is definitely on purpose, but nothing is played straight, everything is canted like three degrees off true. What we've found here is the U.S. Maple of soul music, and if you know me (and you don't), that's some high praise indeed. You probably shouldn't drive while listening to this unless you're an expert driver and also an expert fuckup, which, this guy. This one right here. I'm digging this.

[littlescaryinternetguy]

I'm on the air today playing long-form songs designed to educate and/or launch yr brain. Lot of violin in this one. Moots dm for time and url.