#loving the source material enough to poke fun and make inside jokes

[fictionadventurer]

I think I deserve a medal for not engaging in Moffat discourse in the year of our Lord 2023

[hiraethwa]

one summer day

11 star-crossed. where you celebrate tanabata with your friends

<< 10 epiphany. | >> 12 shoot for the stars.

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader word count: 1.4k warnings: just fluff <3 tags: @lemurzsquad @daisy-room @integers @brokenscaredakira -- (inbox me if you want to be added to the tag list)

there are several thoughts that run through your mind as your eyes land on ushijima. one, he kept his promise to you, wearing a simpler yet formal kimono. two, it is utterly, and you mean utterly, unfair how devastatingly good he looks in it, it cannot be healthy for your heart. three, how are you going to survive the night at this rate? and four, you are going to be swarmed by his fans and you only have yourself to blame. 

it is tanabata after all, the star festival that celebrates the ancient legend of orihime and hikoboshi, two star-crossed lovers who could only meet one day every year. almost every girl in high school is bound to attend the biggest tanabata festival in the miyagi area. 

“feeling a little warm?” you manage to find your voice to tease the stoic boy. there is definitely a pink tint to his golden skin, one you credit to the summer heat. 

next to him, semi and tendo jump into the fray as well, taking the rare opportunity to poke fun at their captain outside of volleyball practice, referencing inside jokes that you are not privy to. 

“you both cleaned up well,” you chirp, nodding at their yukatas in acknowledgement. 

“yeah, we didn’t want to leave ushijima-kun all dressed up by himself, and since we were part of the problem, we decided that we should shoulder some of the blame too,” tendo grins at you knowingly. 

you give him a half-lidded look that said wow, you are so funny.

“c’mon, we’re late, i want to go check out some stalls before the fireworks go off.” you make a point to link your arm with semi, marching off with your best friend before anyone could get a word in and ignoring the source of the heat you are feeling on your face. definitely the summer heat.

the night air is warm, ever so slightly cooler than the day, but you could feel the sheen of sweat forming on your skin beneath the thin yukata fabric. it is crowded as expected, with streamers hanging from paper balls of every color, low enough that you run your hand through the soft wisps as you pass by. 

the first stop of the evening is the center of the complex, where several man-made bamboo trees have been erected for festival-goers to write their wishes on a piece of paper and tie it to. you steer semi towards the tables with writing instruments and bands of color paper, tugging at his sleeve impatiently with ushijima and tendo following right behind him.

you grab a piece of paper and a pen, sidling off to one side so that your writing is not visible to your friends as you scrawl your wishes for the year on the thin material. once you are done, you sneak up to your friends stealthily, peeking over their shoulders to read what they have written. 

“oi,” semi exclaims as he discovers you looking at his paper. 

you look away innocently, standing to the side while waiting for them to be done. ushijima joins you, to which your heart stutters a beat to. 

despite having patched things up months ago, things have not gone back to normal. gone were the days where your unrequited love is the absolute truth. now, ushijima’s every action, every look leaves you second-guessing yourself, and your heart feeling like you just ran a marathon. 

you tried, you really did, to act as normal as you can around him without your heart on your sleeve. though you wonder whether you are doing a good job of it. there was no particular reason, but if you had to pick a turning point, it was that time when he got really close to you and you ended up kneeing him in the balls. 

nothing was the same since then, at least for you. 

so now, as he compliments you, your mind goes haywire. “you look beautiful in your yukata.” 

you smooth over the folds, thumbing the gold detailing on the blue fabric, mind blanking out at his words. “thank you.” warmness spreads across your cheeks, causing you to look down and concentrate particularly hard at the little thread poking out the seam, picking at it, hoping he does not see the redness on you. 

“wanna tie it together?” you nod at his question, following him to the bamboo tree. you end up picking a branch that you felt was more auspicious than the others, tying your paper strip to it. 

ushijima decides on the same branch, knotting his paper just above yours. his purple touching your green one, as if it is a representation of his wishes. you shake your head at the thought. you did not dare to even explore that possibility, regardless of how different everything feels. but maybe, just maybe, if you are accepted to the university of tokyo, there is hope there.

“you had to pick the same branch, huh?”

he shrugs, holding out an arm for you. you take it naturally, despite the weird feeling in your stomach as you clutch onto his sleeve. “wanna get some food?” 

you end up getting some yakitori skewers and a tornado potato from a roadside stall, easily demolishing the food in minutes before tugging him to a sweets stall. just as wakatoshi pays the vendor for the matcha mochi, two girls approach you both shyly, asking for a photo with him.

their eyes dart to you, probably wondering who you were and what kind of relationship you have with ushijima, making you shift uncomfortably. you take the hint to leave, spotting a stall selling handicrafts just a few stalls down. 

the expressionless falcon soft toy you picked up reminds you of ushijima. 

“we’ll take it,” ushijima appears next to you, handing over some cash for the toy that you are busy squishing. 

“i was just looking at it…” you trail off, tilting your head to look at him. 

he slant his head in confusion, “but you like it, do you not?” 

but you don’t get a chance to respond before semi and tendo comes flying at you both from behind, almost knocking you over in the process. good, you think. you are afraid of where the road leads into unknown territory. unfamiliarity terrifies you, and for that reason, you want to stay precisely where you are, on the even ground that you know like the back of your hand. 

good because if you went down that road and things end unpleasantly… no, you would much rather love him in silence than to risk losing him. 

“what is it?” semi whispers to you conspiratorially as he glances at ushijima.

you frown at the little falcon. “is it just me, or is ushijima not his usual self?”

“what do you mean? he’s always like this around you.”

semi’s words leave you speechless. sure, you’ve heard a few people point it out to you in the past, but you didn’t think much of it at the time as you were too busy trying to put yourself back together. now, you can’t help but hear the words repeat in your mind. 

you find yourself atop a small hill, sandwiched between ushijima and semi for the fireworks that opens the weekend long celebration of tanabata. just for a few seconds, you allow yourself to admire ushijima’s profile, his head turned towards tendo as he says something to the redhead.

boom. the first of the fireworks goes off, lighting up the night sky in showers of golden and blue. a smile finds its way to your face as you bask in the moment next to the people you care about, on a summer night in your final year of high school. 

you tense as fingers lace through yours, too shocked to even look in ushijima’s direction as your eyes lock onto each and every bright firework that shoots upwards and explodes into colorful reactions that illuminate the dark sky. much like what he is to you, walking into your life, a blinding sun unaware of its own light, bringing life to the darkness in your heart, chasing away the darkness.

despite your thundering heart, your body relaxes, fingers tightening around his larger digits. the thoughts firing through your brain are too many, too fast to process, so you let them wash over you, choosing to focus on the present. it is a gift, you realize, on tanabata, from the stars orihime and hikoboshi themselves. 

you can only hope that unlike the story of the star-crossed lovers, there will be a better ending for yours. 

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[stevenuniversetanzanite]

could you write about a cordelia x reader proposal? (maybe reader proposing to her and the rest of the coven helping the reader do it) lots of fluff with smut after the proposal

While writing it I forgot it mentioned lots of fluff. To be honest I don’t know if I can write effective fluff without some form of angst as a contrast but I tried anyway. I hope this is to your standard.

The Birthday Proposal

Warnings: Smut.

“Geez Y/N relax everything is going to be fine. You’re overthinking this-”

“It needs to perfect-”

Madison rolled her eyes, she was shoved into looking after Y/N while the others gathered materials. Amongst the chaos of everything going on as of late, with the mysterious possible threat of Michael, they found time to celebrate the good that’s come of all of this. Madison was excited at first, she enjoyed poking fun at Y/N as well as planning the whole swaray. 

“Is it too much, maybe I should replan-”

“Their buying stuff as we speak”

“Should it be more private?”

“Everyone  in the coven already knows, I’m surprised she doesn’t.”

“She might- maybe I should postpone it.”

“No. You wanted to give her the best birthday gift, right?” You nodded in response. “Then do it.”

“Alright.” She glared at you. “Alright, I’ll do it.”

“You’re a really good friend. You don’t get enough credit.” You hugged her. She complained that you were going to ruin her reputation. You pull away from Madison as you heard a creak at the doorway. You looked over towards the source of the sound to see your girlfriend looking as breathtaking as ever. She managed to travel around the school without her heels making a sound. If the school wasn’t old and creaky you wouldn’t have noticed her presence. 

“What are you two doing?” she asked having witnessed you ‘terrorising’ Madison with kindness. 

 "Organising your birthday party.“ She didn’t want you to go to the trouble of organising a big celebration for her, she was content with a simple kiss on the cheeks and a nice lunch with just the two of you and a nice dinner with the girls. She was aware of your plans, you had begged her to allow you to throw a celebration for her, only cracking when you gave her puppy dog eyes. 

"Y/N-" 

You walked over to her, placing your hands on her hips and pulling her close. You laid your chin on her shoulder, gently swaying side to side as if it were a gentle dance- the action was calming to you.

"I know you don’t really want one but it will be nice to celebrate. The girls deserve it. You deserve a break.” You whisper in her ear. “Plus I got a great gift for you” she smirked assuming you were referring to sex.

“I’m looking forward to it,” her voice was laced in sex.

“Get a room,” Madison called from her spot at the dining room table.

“I can get behind that,” you said. 

“Unfortunately I have a lot of work to do and so, my love, do you,” Cordelia said. She pressed a kiss on your cheek before breaking apart. Now that she had to factor a party into her schedule tomorrow she had to do a days worth of paperwork in advance. 

She needed a break from work which is why she checked on you. She noticed the other girls were out, it being a Saturday there was no work and most of the students were out enjoying their weekend. 

It was an hour into the party and you were getting the jitters, bouncing about, never in on spot too long. Cordelia was stolen away from the beginning of the party by a couple of students. She was in the mix of some party games she had been dragged into by some of the younger girls. She chuckled at one of the students jokes, occasionally checking over her shoulder to where she last saw you. One of the times, your eyes met and you gave her a quick smile before turning your attention back to the older students who were trying to convince you to calm down about the party and enjoy the day. 

Worrying about the party was distracting you from the more daunting task that grew closer every minute. So you filled your mind with anxiety about whether there were enough snacks out for the girls or that everyone was having fun. When lunchtime came around you called in everyone to serve the food you ordered in, hoping it would clear the backyard long enough for you and a couple of younger girls to set up for the activities for tonight. 

A couple of months back you ordered a projector and screen for outdoor movie nights. It was too early to set up the projector, knowing some of the younger girls would need to release their energy before tonight’s movies- it wouldn’t be the first time someone ran into the projector, nearly breaking it, so you to take that into consideration when planning today. Thankfully one of the girls was a wiz at fixing technology and saved you a couple 100 on fixing it. 

You strung up some fairy lights onto some of the surrounding trees out the back using levitation. Hands wrapped around your waste causing you to jump and lose concentration. You chuckled as light kisses were feathered onto your neck. “Babe~” you whined. She hummed moving further down your neck. She moved the fabric of your blouse to allow more access to your skin. On instinct, you tilted your head allowing her more room. “The girls-”

“Are eating lunch.”

“Have you eaten?”

“I had something else in mind.” The hand on your hip shifted upwards under your shirt. 

“If we do it now, it will ruin our fun tonight.”

“I doubt that, you know I can’t get enough of you sweetheart.” Her hand ran up your stomach towards their desired destination. “Anyway, from what I heard about the agenda tonight I won’t get a private moment with you.” You asked her what she meant. “The movie marathon?”

“Who told you about that? Was it Michelle? I knew I couldn’t trust her.” 

Cordelia chuckled, knowing the student had a horrible guilt complex and therefore couldn’t keep a secret. It was hard to keep things from Cordelia, ever since what happened with her ex-husband and the witch hunters she liked to know as much as in her right to know. 

“Surprisingly no, I overheard Zoe talking about it to one of the students.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway, the movies are just for the girls. We have other plans.”

“Like what?”

“Well I thought we should watch at least one movie, your favourite, of course, then the rest of the night is up to you. We could go out or stay inside ‘admiring each other’.”

“I like the sound of the second one.”

“Thought you would.” You chuckled. “We should get you some food.” You noticed her smirk. “Actual food.”

“Fine”

She was stolen away from you as soon as you got yourself food. She minded more than you did, her eyes begged for you to ask her to stay. Another student interrupted any chance of you stopping her from leaving. Neither of you could say no to a student unless you felt forced too. You only caught up with her after she opened her presents and the first movie began. During the presents, you set up the projector. She asked you to say but you apologized, giving her a kiss on the check (causing some of the younger girls to go “aww”) and told her you would come back as soon as you were done and that after that you wouldn’t leave her side. 

You didn’t make it back to see her open her presents but you here relieved of your duties by the time everyone was outside on their respective picnic blankets (or whatever they used to sit on). You snuggled up into her side, once again apologies for leaving her side. She didn’t get to say too much as the opening scene of the film began. She laid a kiss on your forehead and brought you closer to her as the two of you watched the movie.

The film came to an end your nerves shot up. Your body began to tremble. Cordelia noticed this, she glanced away from the credits, down at you. “Are you alright baby? you’re shaking.” You gulped. 

“Yeah, I’m alright. Great actually, which is making this more difficult.” You fiddled with the fabric of your cardigan. Cordelia began to grow anxious. What could be causing you stress? Are you going to break up with her on her birthday? No, that’s not something you would do. Did something not go as planned tonight? You were a control freak, you needed to know exactly how things were going to be planned out to a T, otherwise, you had a mental breakdown. “I didn’t think I would be the one to do this, is all. I’m terrified of what you’re going to say.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“Life’s unpredictable. I didn’t expect to find love, especially here of all places.” You couldn’t look her in the eye. Your eyes darted about at the ground as you tried to gather your words. The ones you scripted, long forgotten. In the heat of the moment, your words came from the soul. “You’re the most amazing woman, I have ever met. You have remained kind even when the world keeps throwing curveballs. You have every right to be a bitter person but your not. You’re an inspiration not only to me but to your students.” Cordelia teared up. She tried to wipe them away before you would catch on, aware that if you noticed you would start too but you caught her in the act. “Oh God your crying. I made you cry. No, don’t cry, it’s making this harder.” She nodded her head once wiping her eyes on her sleeve before she gestured for you to continue. “Though I didn’t plan to fall for you, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You make the unpredictable more bearable. I would gladly walk through the dark as long as you were by my side.” Your hands go to your cardigans pocket and pull out a box a small black box. She watched your every move.  “So, I was wondering, if you would give me the honour of marrying me.”

“Yes. A million times yes.” She tugged you close before you had the chance to give her the ring. She kissed you until you were winded. You both laughed out of pure joy. The students who watched on cheered for the two of you. 

You took the ring out of the box, slipping the ring onto her your fiance’s hand. It was a perfect fit. The attention on both of you died down with the beginning of the second film. The two of you kept talking quietly as to not ruin the film for the students in close proximity to both of you. 

“Is this what you’ve been stressing about all day?” Cordelia pulled you close to her. She ran her hand through your hair carefully not to get her engagement ring stuck in your hair. She kept her eyes on you, unable to look away from the love of her life. 

“More or less.” She didn’t need to know how long you spent planning on all of this. 

“It’s been a couple weeks hasn’t it?” She knew you too well. You might as well have told her the truth.

“Before I told you about the party.”

“Jesus Y/N, that was ages ago.”

“I had to make it perfect.”

“Was it?”

It was so perfect and it had nothing to do with the planning. The whole plan could have fallen apart and it still would’ve been perfect as long as she said yes. She was your now and you were hers. Your beautiful wife to be. 

“The night is still young. Still up for admiring each other?”

“Evermore so”

“Okay, so here’s my plan to sneak away-” She chuckled, knowing you had planned out every detail to a T. “We stay here, cuddled up- hey stop laughing-”

“But you’re too adorable.”

“And all yours,” you purred. 

“Quit talking like that or I’ll take you upstairs now.”

“Maybe I want that.”

Before you could register anything, you were teleported to your shared bedroom. She tackled you to the bed, trapping you underneath her. You tried to squirm away, this was her night, you were meant to make her feel good. 

She trapped your hips and ordered you to stop moving. “But it’s y-your day-”

“You said I could spend the night how I liked.” Her hands slipped underneath, feeling your body underneath your shirt. “I want to show you how much I appreciate you. In order for me to do that you need to stop trying to get away from me.” She didn’t say it but she believed you had already done enough for her today. 

She removed her hands from under your shirt, instead opting to remove your cardigan. She disgusted the fabric, a quiet click could be heard from the Engagement rings box against the floor.

“But-” You were cut off by Cordelia smashing her lips against yours. She gently guided you to lay down, moving your pillow to your head all while holding the kiss. She left you gasping for air and silently begging for more. 

“Shush love, you think too much,” she said between breaths. Cordelia brushed your hair out of the way, allowing more access to your neck. She took her time allowing her fingertips to graze your skin with her feathery touch. 

You continued to squirm but this time you weren’t trying to getaway. Her soft touch was ticklish. She chuckled to herself as she leant down to nip at your neck. You gasped, not suspecting it nor the next that followed soon after. The biting turned to sucking as she worked on marking your skin. “You’re so beautiful, baby,” she mumbled as she worked. Even over your panting, you could hear her clear as day. “I can’t believe all this is mine. All this… hotness.”

“Babe~” you whined turning your head away to hide your embarrassment. Luckily, you were already red and worked up, you couldn’t turn a deeper shade of red if you tried. She moved down your body, readjusting herself to remove the next article of clothing from your body. She grabbed your chin and guided it back to look at her. “No, I want to see those dazzling eyes of yours.”

You don’t know why this question came to you, or why you asked it, “D-Do you- wanna know w-why there’s a movie night tonight?” You choked out your question. Maybe, just maybe it would help you out. Cordelia never thought anything more of your plan, it was over right? 

“Why sweetheart?” Cordelia rose her brow not sure where you were going with this.

 “We can be as loud as we want.”

She smirked, revelling in the idea of making you scream her name. Your obsessed planning had come in handy tonight after all (not that it hadn’t the rest of the night, but this time, the results wouldn’t be the same if you hadn’t). You really had planned this out for her, it almost made up for the fact that she hadn’t been by your side all day- not that she complained, usually, it was her out of bed before you rose and busy with work all day, you never complained so why should she?

Cordelia quickly finished working on your shirt before moving onto your pant’s button. You knew she was going to take that for a challenge and you were looking forward to it.

The two of you were rarely allowed to make more than the occasional grunt or a muffled moan when you had sex in fear of the students hearing their Supreme (and headmistress) and teacher going at it. Once or twice you had both received knowing glances from either older students or your fellow colleagues.

It wasn’t long before your shirt and pants were in a pile on the floor. She took her sweet time with your bra causing you to complain. She ignored them, not wanting to give you what you wanted this second knowing as soon as she did you would try to take control. 

“You’re so slow~”

“Patience baby. I want to make you feel good.”

“I already feel good-” She took one of your nipples into her mouth and started to suck it. You moaned loudly.

“But you could feel better.” She circled your nipple with her tongue while her other hand reached up and played with your other breast.

“Please” You begged not wanting to wait any longer. You lacked any patience in the bedroom on the best of days unless she was the subject being worshipped then you had all the time in the world. 

“We need to work on your patience.”

“Not now, please not now~” You whined grinding up against your body trying to get some friction. 

“Okay, sweetie, not tonight.” She gave in to your need. Allowing her hand to venture down to where you desperately needed it. On contact, you moan loudly. Too caught up in the feeling, you didn’t notice her making her way lower down until you felt a hot breath on your cunt. She flicked your clit with her tongue, listening to you continue to beg for more. She slowly inserted two fingers into you, pumping them back and forth. Gradually the pace increased. She was tempted to slow down, old you on the edge for as long as you could, but there was more time for that later. You pleaded with her to allow you to cum. She curled her fingers upwards and told you to scream her name as you crashed.

She didn’t stop working on you until you had come down from your high. As you caught your breath, she lapped up all your juices. She hummed.

“How was that baby?”

“Amazing,” you smiled, happy from your state of euphoria.

“Up for round two?” She wasn’t going to be letting you go for a while.

[candlefright]

The Blob (1988)

This is less of a new venture and more of a reflective blurb. 

Can we all just sit down and talk about the underappreciated remake; the ooky spooky oozy woozy gobbling wobbling Blob?

Please be advised that reading further will result in potential spoilers for the film listed in title and related films: so if you haven’t seen The Blob (1988); come back when you have, or abandon all hope, ye who enter here…

I was a thirteen year-old babysitter the first time I watched this movie. When you babysit, you inevitably wind up with some free time when the kid lays down for bed and you’re waiting on the parents to get home. A brief period of time where you get to feel semi-adult, and for tweens like me, steeped in my own burgeoning angst, a scary movie was the closest thing to a thrill I could touch without putting myself in danger. I popped some popcorn, I pulled out the snacks I couldn’t have when the kid was up. I hopped on-Demand (some of you might not remember on-Demand, I feel old writing it out) and found Chuck Russel’s The Blob. I was already familiar with the hokey but legendary original from 1958. I figured it was within my fear threshold; nothing to worry about, why not dive in head first?

Let me start with the facts, The Blob opened on August 5th in 1988, sandwiched between Cocktail (July 29) and Young Guns (August 12). In the commentary and in interviews, director Russel has attributed the film’s lack-luster success with the competition it faced hitting the box office. It’s true, Cocktail grossed nearly $12 million opening weekend and was given extended runs of up to ten weeks in some theaters. Young Guns fared about as well, breaking $7 million in it’s first week and packing theaters for nearly eight weeks in some locations. The Blob, however, grossed only nearly $3 million, with what has been estimated to be about $9-10 million budget, and averaged a modest two-week run in most theaters on average. (Source: The Numbers)  

Now, over thirty years later (and 60 years since the original), the film has respect, but in my opinion, not nearly enough.

The horror snobs will tell you that The Blob remake doesn’t stand up in comparison to films like The Fly, or it’s cosmic-horror cousin, The Thing. I’m calling bullshit. The remakes of The Fly and The Thing are phenomenal, refreshed versions of influential films, and The Blob deserves equal respect. While The Fly and The Thing leaned on the edge of a very serious, professional revamp; The Blob dared to poke fun at the tropes of the original, and then willfully and literally fed a tired stereotype to the beast. They also framed a female as the unlikely hero while illustrating her journey in a subtle way that only young girls with experience in microaggressions can understand. While The Fly and The Thing are remarkable remakes, and remakes that I cherish and love; they both center on the male persona. The Blob invites the strong female perspective and openly challenges the idea of the strong male lead.

Shawnee Smith plays the role of the high school cheerleader. Her doe-eyed stare is one of the first things we encounter during a scene that I appreciate for it’s illustrative power. The setting appears deserted until this scene. A small town lured into sleepy stasis right before the introduction of each leading role. The silence is dispelled by cheers and stomps; the entire town is at the local football game. So we see, this is a small town. Everyone knows each other by name. Children grew up together here. There is a delicate shell of community waiting to crack under the flat foot of impending doom. This scene is fragmented by the cheers of the crowd. We see Meg the cheerleader (Shawnee) pining over the freshly sacked, dazed Paul (played by actor Donovan Leitch Jr.) who comically asks her out on a date right there on the ground, still counting the cartoon birds orbiting his skull. He feels like the stereotypical male character, the re-imagining of Steve McQueen’s Steve from the original. The football player and the cheerleader; this feels like the serendipitous event that would normally predate a love story.

Meanwhile between claps and thunderous booms, the camera flashes to our third lead role: Brian Flagg (played by actor Kevin Dillion; yes, Matt Dillon’s brother.), the skid row rebel with a bad reputation and seemingly no concern for his own safety; as expressed by his weak attempt to jump a broken bridge on his motorcycle (of course, bad boy). 

We’re seeing what feels like an immediate dynamic between the three; notice they will be relevant and can speculate the potential relationship they will have with one another. We can see Meg as the girl next door, Paul as the white knight in football gear, and Brian as the trouble-making instigator who will almost certainly be butting heads with Paul. Spoiler alert: all of these initial assumptions are true. 

Brian Flagg is your classic bad boy “fuck you, won’t do what you tell me” burn-out who is known by name at the local police station. Granted, this comes as no surprise in a small town, but his relationship with Sheriff Herb (played by my Walking Dead favorite, actor Jeffrey DeMunn), who warns him to watch his behavior now that he can officially be considered an adult in the eyes of a judge. Brian scoffs this off characteristically, butting out his cigarette and rolling his eyes in the way boys with authority complexes tend to do.

The film proceeds down a long, horrifying snail trail of goopy gore and apocalyptic dread. If you’ve seen the film, I won’t bore you with one great long write-up of each scene, but I will pick out my favorites.

At the local pharmacy, Paul and his wannabe frat friend Scott Jeske (played by actor Ricky Paull Goldin) lurk around. Scott needs to pick up some skins for what he hopes will be a lucky night with his squeeze. This is the bait-and-switch that totally eviscerates McQueen’s role in the 1958 original. Without our knowing, Scott has inherited Steve iconography, and we get a peak at the nature of high school boys and their burgeoning sexuality. We see the other side of popularity, of the jock reputation. Chivalry flies out the window, and we laugh at Scott when the local priest reverend Meeker (played by Beware! The Blob!’s Del Close) grills him on his participation in the church. All the while, waiting for a pack of condoms to be delivered by the pharmacist. I still laugh wholeheartedly when Mr. Penny, the local pharmacist (and Meg’s father) stands between the good reverend and Scott and asks: “You want the ribbed, or the regular?”

This joke is only further extended past the punchline when Scott denies that the condoms are for himself, but rather for his friend Paul, who he says is too nervous to get them himself. Moments later, Paul will come to retrieve Meg. He encounters Mr. Penny, who peers over his newspaper and, with wide eyes, delivers one of the most memorable lines of the whole film: “Ribbed.” (Fun fact: the condom scene was based off of a real event from the director’s life.)

Paul and Meg’s date is interrupted when they nearly reduce a homeless man to a skid mark on asphalt. A homeless man whose hand has been completely engulfed by our star; the lovely baby blob. Brian is in hot pursuit, trying to calm the old man in that I’m-damaged-but-I-have-a-heart kind of way, earning him some gentleman points and drawing him into the triangle we ruminated on earlier. As expected, Paul and Brian immediately butt heads. It’s clear that the jock/bad boy dynamic is completely in play, here. Paul wants Brian to stay, basically accusing him of foul play- while Brian is quick to want to disengage. Meg is stuck in the middle, focusing on things more important than a pissing contest: like the wounded man they’ve helped into the car. What follows once they reach the hospital is quite honestly one of the most terrifying scenes I ever watched as a young girl.

Paul’s death hit me like a Mack-fucking-truck. Even as a kid, I had immediately cataloged him as a main character. He was safe, untouchable, the football superstar. The McQueen legacy. I read about this scene. Leicht really was under all of that slime (mostly composed of a thickening agent called methocel), struggling for air. Comparable to being waterboarded, Leicht crawled inside a large base shell and was covered in the flimsier material before it was pulled and dragged over his face to create the harrowing effect. 

Oh, my gods. How my face mirrored Meg’s in that moment. I remember pausing the movie and getting out of my chair, earnestly shocked and frightened. I was thirteen, and shaking. I was disgusted, terrified, and stunned. I gathered myself, and stomached the rest. Watching Meg struggle to free Paul, only for his arm to slough away into a soupy mess- it will always stick with me. To this day I will re-watch this scene and marvel it as one of the first films to ever solicit my interest in the special effects industry. 

Alterian Studios was responsible for these unholy effects, including special effects legends like Tony Gardner, whose film credit list reads like a Walgreen’s receipt; Chet Zar (who had a credit in Dark Man for his special effects prowess), and the incredible Bill Sturgeon (who had a hand in several favorites and cult classics such as Army of Darkness, Hocus Pocus, Aliens, and Killer Klowns from Outer Space). The work of this team, those mentioned and unmentioned, is really impressive. Practical effects were always a part of the horror scene, from the very beginning; but the 80′s really welcomed and embraced a new age of creativity. It wasn’t enough to just produce a monster anymore, it was about fooling the audience into believing these things could climb right out of the screen and swallow you whole if you dared to look away. While the crew in charge of legends like The Thing and The Fly will forever be shining stars in any fan’s lexicon- The Blob only smoldered, and now rests as a sort of hidden gem that I feel nobody gives a second glance. Which is shameful. If you’ve seen The Thing, The Fly, From Beyond, Event Horizon, or any other FX-heavy horror: The Blob should most certainly have a place somewhere in that collection. No excuses. 

After Paul’s death I was primed for the rest of the movie. I really was, my sense of safety was shattered and I was on the edge of my seat with sweating palms. Who was going to be next? The blob dissolved people!? I was stuck between fear and fascination. Paul’s death is a showstopper, an absolute mess that deserves more recognition than it has received, and to place it beneath the visualizations of its like-films is just a shame. Watch Paul’s face as it stretches and then deflates and slips away into the ambiguity of the blob; with streams of syrupy red blood streaming into what looks like a sentient tumor. 

Scott’s death is also an honorable mention. I appreciate this scene mostly because of what it represents to me as a fan of the original: the burning effigy. Scott represents what is left of that football player icon. He’s also a total sleaze who, for some reason, has a fully stocked bar in his trunk and a collection of class rings to toss out like party favors. His karma comes so quick, he watches his dates face cave in like a sinkhole, then gets swallowed up himself. 

Scott’s death felt like a high-five. The demise of the jocks resonated with me; pointed out the bad in both of them- how chivalry could be just as boring as sleaze. These men weren’t special, they were poignant representations of the type of boys we all fall in love with: The white knight, who uses his chivalry as a means to assert dominance, and the sleaze- who uses sheer charisma to assert dominance. Watching both of these boys literally melt away within the first 30 minutes felt like a deliberate act of kicking that tired, overused trope out of the picture. Which just leaves us with leather-jacket McGee; Brian Flagg.

Another one of my favorite scenes is when Meg chews Brian for being so damn apathetic. She looks him in the face, searching for help in what is a helpless situation, and he totally dumps on her. His fuck-me-fuck-you attitude completely ignites her. She said what I was thinking as a girl:

“You act like you're different, you put on this big show, but you're just like everybody else in this town, you're full of SHIT, Flagg!”

This is the moment where Meg completely rejects what would be a characteristic stereotype. 

It is so important, how her exhaustion eclipses her next-door nature. How as a female character, she blinks away the obscurity of the male-savior trope and calls a spade a spade. Dressing rebellion up in a leather jacket doesn’t make a hero. A hero spits in the face of apathy, the way Meg does to Brian, confronting his bullshit “I don’t care” attitude with her own intuition. Pretenders don’t survive horror movies. Hell, even heroes don’t survive horror movies always, and Meg makes that poignantly clear by throwing Brian’s crybaby hungry boy attitude back into his face. The apocalypse is a little more urgent than your abandonment anxiety or survival complex, Brian. This is final girl energy, that utter rejection of fate, that “fuck fate, I will change it with my bare hands” sense of responsibility. Meg is a small town girl, a small town hero- and a bad motherfucking bitch.

So, needless to say, Brian quits pouting and hops on board. Is it because he’s got a thing for Meg? Does she remind him of his place in this spiraling catastrophe? Is she a love interest? His motivation felt driven by his attraction to her, perhaps his own responsibility- feeling obligated to shield the token sacrificial lamb from an inevitable end. Whatever it is that drives him, he resigns himself to helping her- and the horrors star to accumulate around them. Including the death of a cook (sucked down the drain almost comically), and the death that gave me a panic attack: the sweetheart waitress Fran Hewett (played by the lovely Candy Clark). 

Fran’s death was scary because it fully described, without mystery, what it felt like to be aware of your own approaching death. She scrabbles in the phone booth like a trapped animal, dialing 911 in search of Sheriff Herb. When his head floats into her line of sight, half-dissolved and digesting within the Blob, terror sets in like a death rattle. The shots of this scene are claustrophobic and stifling. We feel her raw terror, we see her as the individual who cracks in the face of death- the real sacrificial lamb of the film. Her role, though small, was innocent and wholesome. We’ve all known a waitress by name, we’ve all been treated special by that woman who seems to channel maternal energy. Watching her die feels like peering down the barrel of a loaded gun. She braces herself against the booth and then the glass breaks, engulfing poor Fran in a mass of agonizing pink gloop. 

This scene was filmed using a mock-booth that was only 3ft tall, with an articulated doll made of Candy. They blasted the doll with air mortars to create what was the world-ending scene of the film for me. I myself am claustrophobic, and this entire experience sat with me long after I watched the movie. I would have nightmares of being trapped inside a photo booth, surrounded by pink, waiting to be burned away to slime.

The blob gets bigger, angrier, and more effective. It infiltrates the local theater through the air ducts and wreaks havoc for a strobe-festered horror on the crowd inside. Children are swallowed up, girls peel off the floor like melted bubble gum, and our main characters juggle the chaos with the introduction of the fucking government.

That’s right, the Blob is a scientific experiment gone AWOL. I’ll give kudos to Brian for his role in their involvement. Where Meg believed in the integrity of the government, Brian sets her straight: these people are worse than the thing they created. I’m not trying to say not to trust the government (now I am, don’t trust the government), but the film definitely winks at what is a very real concern. The danger of government experiments, what would happen if something like this actually took place? My first thought was that they were going to nuke the city, blow it to smithereens the way we saw in Return of the Living Dead. However, it seems that they don’t intend to do this, instead these hazmat poindexters want to sacrifice the whole town to the “specimen”. They scare the public into believing Brian and Meg are “infected” with a pathogen related to the Blob. One of my favorite supporting characters, the lead scientist Dr. Meddows, does his best to manipulate the public into a sense of ease. He seals Meg, her little brother, Brian, and a fellow colleague in the sewer in order to preserve his specimen. Human life is expendable. He meets his deserved end by literally getting sucked out of his suit (a comical, entertaining way to see someone go).

I won’t leave without mentioning the death of the melt veteran from Robocop; actor Paul McCrane’s deputy Bill Briggs. Dude literally got folded in half hamburger-style and was never seen again. Props to that effect, was very cool. 

Like the blob in the original, this blob doesn’t do the cold. Long story short, they run a truck full of CO2 into the big pink mess and freeze it into tiny shards. The good reverend from the beginning has lost his mind throughout all of this, and I suppose, in honor of open endings, saves a piece of the blob for the day his senile ass wants to bring about a second coming.

Though Meg and Brian both live through the entire ordeal, the film is still satisfying. You root for them the whole time, you bite your fingernails and wait for the moment a pink tendril comes out to end it all. 

The Halloween movie had underwhelmed me as a child. I wasn’t checking every room of the house for a masked man. I was looking in my sink and my shower for signs of a color out of space. I could rationalize a murder. I couldn’t make sense of a manufactured organism getting out of control. I couldn’t rationalize or shake away the fear of being enveloped in viscous sentient acid. 

Say what you will about The Blob remake. Say it isn’t as influential, you’re lying. Say it isn’t as entertaining, you’re definitely lying. The Blob is a hilarious half-satire about the things that scare us the most: things we can’t understand nor control. It taps into the same vein of supernatural fear that cosmic classics like The Thing and The Fly boast about. 

If you haven’t seen it; do.

If you’ve seen it but not in a while: go back, sit down, pop some corn, settle in, and take it in. Take it in for the silly filming errors, the drifting booms and clockable reflections, the subtle mistakes in FX. Appreciate it for what it is, a sci-fi thriller that isn’t afraid to make fun of where it came from. 

Stop spending as much time comparing films that pushed the limits of what are now very modern special effects. Appreciate the handiwork of the practical magic involved in making this shit come to life. With the rise of CGI, films like The Blob are going to become increasingly more difficult to find. That’s not necessarily a knock on CGI, I have appreciation for it as a separate medium- but practical effects will always have me by my balls.

Enjoy craftsmanship, watch The Blob.

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/funny-one-liners-flimsy-plot/

Funny one-liners, flimsy plot

A signboard says, “King’s council in session. Eavesdroppers will be dropped from eaves,” and a one-liner from Bean goes like this, “I drank so much, I can’t remember if I drank anything.”

The creator of the nearly three-decade-long-running animated sitcom The Simpsons, Matt Groening, comes to the house of Netflix with Disenchantment, an animated fantasy series that’s set in the medieval period.

Indians might look at the landscape of Dreamland, a fictional town ruled by King Zog, in Disenchantment, and immediately compare it to the grandeur of Baahubali’s Mahishmati. There’s a river that runs through the towns, lots of houses and tiny shops, and a host of bumbling characters in both of them that it makes me wonder if these writers are drawing their materials from a common pool of imagination.

While Mahishmati doesn’t include elfs, demons, griffins, and 12-feet-giants, Groening’s Netflix offering is generously peppered with these forms of living creatures, and it pokes fun at them at every given opportunity. The dark humour, that the creator and his writers dunk their characters in, is reminiscent of another brilliant animated show, BoJack Horseman, where animals, humans, and birds live in a world that doesn’t discriminate the beings based on their appearances.

For a standard set-up such as this, Disenchantment has humour and suspense in unequal measures. The series opens with a gambling princess (Tiabeanie, also called Bean; and voiced by Abbi Jacobson), and we follow her story for quite some time till she is joined by a demon named Luci (voiced by Eric Andre), who’s kind of modelled on the darker side that we all have inside of us – hence the total blackness of the character – and, an elf named Elfo (voiced by Nat Faxon), who has abandoned the jolly land of Elfwood to understand the miseries of the world because he’s always made to sing happy songs.

Groening’s strength seems to be in developing quirky visual gags. A signboard says, “King’s council in session. Eavesdroppers will be dropped from eaves,” and a one-liner from Bean goes like this, “I drank so much, I can’t remember if I drank anything.” These ingenious images and dialogues drive the show forward, but it’s hard to figure out the larger curve it’s going for. The traces it leaves behind, as, when one looks back, is nothing but a series of hilarious memes. If you’re digging for coherence and light knuckle-punches at pop culture in this scripted show, this may bypass your expectations and give you something you hadn’t signed up for.

The various supporting characters are also present to add an extra edge to the sight-and-sound jokes – a three-eyed minister hides his third-eye below the cap he wears, a groom-to-be turns into a pig, and a scientist tortures Elfo to extract his blood to make the elixir of life. And, even here, all the dialogues don’t sparkle with fire and ecstasy since Luci and Elfo pull strings from different corners and it becomes a game of bad-versus-good soon enough.

But the connection between Disenchantment and life in India isn’t just built over the Baahubali Bridge. Princess Bean is strictly not in the mood to get married, and, yet, she wants to be loved by a person who doesn’t see her as a princess. Likewise, there’s a whole truckload of mother sentiment – Bean is raised by a nanny, and the absence of her real mother is a cause of worry – that’s closer to what the Indian writers produce on a regular basis compared to their counterparts in the West. If not for anything remarkable, at least, for these homegrown elements, the series rings a loud bell.

Groening may not have reached for the stars altogether, nevertheless, he has, certainly, made spacecrafts for future creators to hop on and explore the area of fantasy universes. In that sense, Groening is to American television, and Netflix, what Hayao Miyazaki is to Japanese anime.

Source: https://www.thehindu.com/entertainment/funny-one-liners-flimsy-plot/article24761506.ece

[cephalonram]

Ludicrous Space Odyssey-Chapter I: Unusual routine

As the energy rushed through the machine, its parts would slowly start working at the regular paste, starting to heat the area slowly up. Soon, moment by moment, a little area within the machine would heat to the extreme degree as the rock inside, a piece of seemingly shiny ore would start to crumble. Soon, it would be nothing more but a liquid, dripping along a mechanism into a little waiting area where it would soon be ready for shaping and any sort of manipulation.

"Okay, this one is almost done!" A loud voice rushed through the working area of the local blacksmith station that was nicely resting near Empire's most important building, the Royal Square where all the important government individuals rested. Said voice was low yet not without a feminine touch to it, definitely having an elegance of sort to it even. Not a regular elegance though but more of a...Rough one. Like a mountain, it clearly rang with dominance and strength and just like a finest of swords it pierced through the area with ease; if one would listen for long enough, they even could be lucky enough to spot pattern of arrogance in it as well. "It will be ready tomorrow, you punk." She called to the two young soldiers standing at the counter from the back of the working area, sparkling a fair bit of black dust over the molten ore. A light steam would come off from it before the dust would spread through it as the whole thing then would be quickly placed into another machine. That one was more round and smaller, as well as quieter and cooler. A synthesizer, obviously, which was turned on by the blacksmith.

She would proceed to pull off her apron, which was loosely tied anyways, before turning off the lights and allowing the machine to work over the night. Sighing, she walked out from the back door, locking the shop with her eye scan before looking at the synthetic sky. "Well, it's just getting dark so might as well allow myself something to drink." A young Oni mumbled to herself, pulling out a pair of round, black glasses before quickly snapping them on as she started walking off. She smiled, enjoying the feeling of how air rushed through her messy hair, giving them some volume as she walked while her boots lightly hit against the floor. So what if she was looking out of place with her shirt whose sleeves were cut off in pretty messy manner or with her tight jeans that were made of elastic, synthetic material instead of real, expensive and organic materials? First, Ryu thought that her black shirt with its white-grey design looked pretty minimalistic; and who cared that it was an anime girl in the embrace of tentacles? And second, people should try to be Oni and wear organic tight jeans and then talk to her. Hell yeah, she was presentable as hell!

But her thoughts were soon caught off by another voice calling out to her and, judging by the fact that it was loud as all hell in such fancy area, it could've been only one person; "Ryu-sama~! Finally, I found you!" Ryu sighed, turning her head to greet a source of that light voice which clearly didn't match the person's look. It was none other but her, well, friend, Matsukura Ume. Come to think about it, it was probably her only real-life friend, which was weird since the guy was a fancy sheriff while she was a blacksmith. True, she was a very high ranked blacksmith, but blacksmith none the less; she always thought that he simply loved the way she forged his guns so much that he simply made it his mission to make her his friend. "Finished earlier today, eh?" He asked, finally stopping near Ryu with his dreads being done in their regular high ponytail with his furred coat resting on top of his baggy shirt. Even though he was quite annoying, sometimes, with him around Ryu felt a little less...Out of place? He was dressed casually in his same pop style and those jeans and boots. Hell, he didn't even have one of those fancy vests that they assign to any high-ranked individuals of the police force; well, he did have augmentations that would turn on his hard light armour when he was in real danger but beyond that? He looked more like sheriff wannabe if you would ask Ryu.

"No, I ended my shift at the regular time."

"Oh...! Well, um." Ume stumbled on his own words, simply looking at Ryu as leaned back and forth on heels of his feet. "Um...Wanna go grab a dri-"

"Yes." Ryu finally replied back, dropping the serious face that she was putting on before flashing a grin that showed off a row of her sharp teeth. Turning around, she gave Ume a pat on the back that nearly knocked all wind out of him before starting to walk once again while realizing that she should go a bit easier on the guy as he still seemed to get pretty nervous pretty fast in social situations. Then again, it was fun.

A peaceful silence of the park was broken by a sudden pop rushing through the air as soon the place was filled with a fresh and cool smell of sweet melon soda...Accompanied by a muttered curse told in obviously Oni dialect. "Love the drink but those bottles obviously hate me." She mumbled, shaking her hand to shake any soda that got onto her hand from the newly bought ramune bottle.

"The trick is to not do it stupidly, you know?"

"Oh really? And how do you do it smartly? Share your wisdom with me, please~" Ryu said with an over the top sassy tone, turning to Ume as she stared him down a bit while he took his sip of green soda. Smiling softly, he simply stared off into the sky before receiving a light poke to the side of his head. "Exactly, can't bullshit your way with me." She said before the two would break into a soft laugh.

"You know, it is always nice to relax like this."

"Yeah...Still coming over tonight? They just released a new episode. It is said that the two will finally kiss."

"I wish I could but...There is an issue." He would say as his tone shifted to a bit more serious one while Ryu could notice a skin around his eyes tensing up as his stare got bit heavier. Sitting up a bit, the gunslinger would take another sip before sighing deeply as he looked at his fellow Oni. "This is something I actually wanted to talk to you about."

"Hey now, you know me, I won't get involved in your shit. You are the cops so you take care of your psychos and thieves." Ryu quickly declined, chuckling to herself as she leaned back against a tree a little. "Plus you know me, the galactic game is just two years away and tournaments are about to start in just five months. I want to be sure that I won't get kicked out for some stupid reason like last time." She said, remembering how she was literally bumped out of it for simply failing to fill the damn paper up properly.

"Ryu, it is serious. We are talking matter of Empress life and death." Ume suddenly spoke in pretty calm and straightforward tone, earning a raised eyebrow from Ryu. Even though two were friends, sharing such information with someone who wasn't from the force and was a lot ranks lower than he was, well, unheard of. Yet he did it with such an ease and Ryu felt that he at least deserved a little less disregarding answering. "Plus, if you will help me with this, you will definitely get into the games. Hell, maybe you will manage to jump straight to Empire Forces."

In the very next moment, Ryu would practically pounce at her poor friend, wrapping her arm around his neck as she pulled him closer with a wide grin on her face that made her look like a shark that just found its prey. "Why haven't you said so earlier~?!" She said in almost menacing manner, a fire burning in her eyes as Ume coughed on air once he felt her cutting off any possible way for him to breath.

"I-I am really glad that you care about Empress' safety so...M-uch...!" He said back with a forced grin before being finally released from such a grip. Coughing up, he rubbed the back of his neck with a light groan while checking his ear plugs to make sure that they were still there. "Woof...Well, that wasn't hard." He joked lightly before standing up.

"So, like, is it an open case? Have you warned Empress and all that?"

Ume sighed and looked around before lightly leaning down closer to Ryu while allowing his pants to hug his hips and show off his bottom to the whole world. "Well, we are afraid that if word gets around that we know the terrorists might start moving faster. So this far, no, information is very unofficial."

"But you said we. Who else knows?"

"Well, Sir Qimaer does. He is the one who told me about information he found."

"Qimaer...Q-I-M-A-E-R...Oh!" Ryu exclaimed, slapping her hands together in a loud clap that could probably crash a rock. "Ojiisan Toji! Yeah, I remember him. He is pretty cool."

Ume sighed, running a hand through his thick beard while shooting Ryu quite tired look. "Yeah, though I did ask you not to call him that."

"Why? He is old enough to be a grandfather, he has grandchildren and he has damn huge ears even for an Elf. Plus, I am not part of your Police Force, so I don't really need to be all fancy and respecting."

Ume blinked few times before finally standing up, ending show that was his butt for a few onlookers before giving Ryu an approving nod. "Got it...I will be the one speaking."

It finally started getting late once the two finally made their way to the Colone Qimaer's station. Being, mostly, in depart of protection the ground instead of space, he was residing not too far from where Ryu worked, therefore allowing the two to get there quite fast. After signing few official papers to confirm who they were, Ume and Ryu would finally enter his office. The moment they walked in and could barely close the door, an unusual looking Elf quickly burst into a loud and hefty laugh, spreading his arms around before practically pouncing at Ume, giving him quite a hug. Elves weren't usually beardy and big therefore a lot of people would often mistake Colonel for some sort of Viking looking Human with his wide shoulders, strictly blue uniform and thick, white beard that matched his shortly cut white hair which nicely exposed his pointy ears, the only thing that showed an Elf in him. "Oh boy, am I glad to see you~! I hope the trip here was good!"

Ume, barely being able to take a breath in to stay conscious, only could smile back out of politeness while Ryu stood in the corner, watching the scene in front of her while barely keeping down the laugh. "I-I am glad to see you too, Sir Qimaer."

"Sir? Nonsense!" He said, quickly placing poor sheriff down before pointing at the closed door. "We are practically alone here, no need for formalities son!"

"See? I did tell him that he could relax but you know him, Ojiisan Toji~" Ume could swear that he saw Ryu shoot him one of those asshole-sassy looks when she addressed the Colonel in a way that he asked her not to. Yet he couldn't really respond due to fact that Colonel himself was quick to engage in conversation and also due to loss of oxygen in his lungs.

"Ah! Lady Fujima! I am really glad that you decided to come here as well!" He said, offering her his giant bear hand. It was greeted by her hand before the sound of hands slapping rushed through the office as the two shook their hands while exchanging quite the eye contact.

"Well, you can say that our breathless friend here knows how to convince a women."

"Ah, of course! Let us get to business then!" Eriladar said, walking over to his table and taking a seat in his large seat while looking over at both Ryu and Ume, who took their seat on the opposite side of the table. "I believe that he already informed you of the situation?" Receiving a waving hand as an answer, he nodded before looking around, making sure that there truly was no one before his warm smile dropped and his face took a more serious look in an instance, showing off all the wrinkles that appeared on his face with age. "While information has no official data to back itself up, I assume that there is a terrorist group that wishes to attack our dear Empress Dratha."

"She has, like, whole Empire to protect herself. How can they actually do it?" Ryu said back with a chuckle while crossing her legs, causing her muscles to huge her shirt tighter. "Better question should be, how can they be preparing for such huge attack without being noticed?"

This earned a heavy sigh from Eriladar as he looked off into the window, looking at the layout of the city before speaking quietly. "Leech Gambit Canon." The words rushed through the room as Ume's eyebrows narrowed, already knowing the information, while Ryu simply groaned while dropping the smug smile on her face. "I and Ume believe that they plan to make a quick attack on innocent village somewhere off from the main area, gathering all of their energy before using it for the massive blast shot."

"And the worst thing is that we don't know who is behind the group this time nor where they might attack or resign. Therefore, we can't go public about it." Ume quickly backed Eriladar up, looking over at Ryu. "Colonel can't investigate, he is too big to be unnoticed...In terms of his rank." Hearing a soft chuckle from the Elf, Matsukura decided to continue; "This is why you and I go there. We won't cause suspicion."

Ryu took a deep breath in, looking down at the table as she remained quiet for some long, irritating moments before casually shrugging her shoulders. "Sure, I am in."

There was a moment of quietness before Colonel would smash his hands against the table, causing practically all things to jump up a tiny bit before breaking into another laughter. "That's right! That's the spirit! Then I believe that you two already know where you are heading?"

Before Ryu could say anything, Ume nodded and got up, adjusting his coat. "We do, Sir. Now let's go, I will explain the details on the way there."

"Perfect. Then feel free to use a special craft. I can't grand you anything too fancy but you can use sheriff's craft for it...And oh! Before I forgot!" The Elf would quickly get up, walking over to a massive chest-like box that was standing in his office before opening it with some digital password in some Elf dialect. Reaching inside, he would speak to Ryu with his back to her, having quite excited tone. "Ryu, dear, do you remember the katana you crafted for previous Galactic Games?"

"Ye. I also remember how I wasn't allowed to keep it since I am not part of 'trained forces'." She said, applying quite a ridiculous tone to two last words to emphasize on how displeased she was with the fact that she wasn't allowed to keep a sword that she crafted for herself. She even got that fancy ore that only could be found on her home planet, which made things that much worse. "Why though?"

"Well, things might get...Heated in there. And Ume already has his assigned weapon to deal with it. So I felt like it was natural that you should be granted a...Means of defence as well." He would pull away from the box before turning around, holding quite hefty looking katan in his arms that was currently resting in its dark crimson scabbard; or, to be more precise, its saya. "I pulled on few strings, saying that you were interested in training to be part of army forces and therefore wished for your katana. So-"

He wasn't able to finish his sentence though as Ryu would quickly pounce forward, grabbing her sword from his hands before giving him a quick and strong handshake. "My gods, you are one of the good ones, aren't you?!" Receiving a soft blush and another loud laugh as the reply, Ryu would grin like a bloodthirsty {blood zombie}, staring down at her katana before lightly pulling it a little bit out of its saya with a satisfying click. She would stare at the dark surface of the metal as Ume sighed softly, imagining that things probably will get violent more than once. "Now this is good~."