#lovelockdownclexa

[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!!

I can't believe I'm typing this, but here we go - we have a new chapter up:

Chapter 85: Come away with me

The next morning, Lexa woke Clarke with the softest, most unhurried kisses. One at a time, she etched promises on Clarke’s skin, choosing the place of each with care; one sheltered under her left ear, another at the very corner of her mouth, one more on the mole just above that, then a sunshower across her chest - each a small fragment leading to her destination with certainty. As she felt Clarke stirring under her hands and her mouth, Lexa thought that these moments of solitude, these pearls of thievery and solace, were the closest thing to faith, a little glimpse of the divine in these everyday moments of what some would consider mundanity. And as blue eyes fluttered open, soft and full of stories of the places Clarke had traveled in her sleep, Lexa thought the same thing she every morning since their love confessions all those months ago - how could she not worship this goddess she was lucky to call her own?

As if reading her thoughts, a rosy hue overtook Clarke’s chest, and when the accompanying shy smile stretched the corner of her lips, Lexa couldn’t help herself anymore; she leaned in, kissing Clarke with the slow unhurriedness of two lovers in an impenetrable world of their own. When they parted, finally, Clarke’s voice was a husky, and a little breathless. “Come here; I still owe you from yesterday.” But Lexa caught her arm halfway, letting Clarke’s fingers trace her skin as she left petalsoft kisses on her wrist, an idea forming in her mind, even as she squirmed a bit, her own body responding to Clarke. “Maybe you should tease me for a bit longer.”

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[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!!

Chapter 84: Burn the white flag

Note: We pick up where they left off; in Holiday Season 2020

“More pot pie, Clarke?” Indra’s voice, for all its softness, cut through the clink of cutlery and conversation with the precision of a well-sharpened knife. Or maybe it was because Clarke had been floating through dinner on the paradoxical, wine-infused cushion of hyper awareness and introspection - a confusing mix, because wasn’t this a homecoming of sorts? She’d known Lexa and Indra and Gustus for almost half her life at this point, and there were no strangers with family, just estrangements. This much she knew as the truth.

“Yes please, and thank you; I’ve really missed your cooking.” So was that.

“And I want to thank you for hosting my Mom and Marcus for New Year’s. It’s very kind of Gustus and you.” But that bit, not so much. She gulped down her bite with wine; as icebreakers went, two truths and a lie was a classic.

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[anansianansi]

Day 5: Naughty List

Lexa needs to distract Clarke. Obviously, there's only one way to do that.

Pushed up against the wall, her body was alight everywhere Lexa was touching her, and aflame where she wasn’t. Eyes closed, Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat as fingertips pinched her right nipple, a moan falling from her lips already swollen from Lexa’s kisses. “Lexa,” she sighed, slipping her hands through the back of Lexa’s jeans, grabbing her ass. “What’s in the box?”

Lexa’s harsh groan was muffled only because her mouth was in the middle of leaving yet another sloppy, open-mouthed kiss on the side of Clarke’s neck; feeling Clarke squeeze, she grazed her teeth against skin; Clarke dug her fingers in. “Uuhh, coal. A lump...of coal.”

“Is it a big lump of coal?” Clarke panted, aching for more contact. “Have I been very naughty?”

With one smooth motion, she pushed down Lexa’s jeans, panties and all, so they pooled at her feet. Caught off balance, Lexa fell forward into Clarke, their naked hips connecting. Lexa licked her lips, wrapping first one, then a second leg around her waist. “Incorrigible.” The word was punctuated with a thrust of her hips into Clarke’s centre.

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[anansianansi]

Day 3: It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Because it’s 2020.

Lexa looked up from her phone at the sound of footsteps approaching the kitchen; she knew they weren’t Clarke’s, just from the tread alone. Where Clarke walked the earth with a calm decisiveness, knowing her place on it without doubt or fear, these were frantic, as if scampering away from themselves, unsure and insecure.

“Hey, Luna.” She set her coffee down after taking a sip, watching the other woman hesitate at the doorway.

“Morning, Lexa.” Luna rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, walking to the coffee pot and pouring herself a cup. “Mind if I sit down?”

“Of course not.” Lexa motioned to the chair directly opposite her. Luna perched at the edge of it, adding heaps of sugar to her coffee and stirring it slowly, eyes fixated on the grain of the wooden table. Lexa was about to go back to reading the news, when she spoke. “Lexa, about last night.”

Lexa set the device down beside her, aiming a firm gaze at Luna. So they were going to talk about it. She braced herself, waiting for the inevitable apology.

“So, I feel like…” Luna wrung her hands, looking at first the ceiling, then training her eyes somewhere over Lexa’s left shoulder. “Things were said, and feelings were hurt.”

Lexa furrowed her brow. “Right. My feelings. Like we talked about.”

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[anansianansi]

Day Six: Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

Lexa turned on the left blinker and checked her blind spot before changing lanes. Setting her hand at the top of the steering wheel, she looked out first through the windshield, then to the left. She missed driving, and she missed drives. Now that the house was less empty, with Raven and Luna around a lot, too, she was starting to really feel the cabin fever. And it didn’t help that the weather wasn’t making it as easy to go out running as much. She glanced over at Clarke, who had her nose buried in her phone. She pinched the screen, zooming in and out, using her finger to travel vast swathes of the city in seconds, her face scrunched with concentration, a little pink tip of her tongue sticking out like an arrow pointing to one of Lexa’s favourite kissing spots - the mole above the left corner of her lip. Lexa fought the urge to lean over; the holiday rush, even in the middle of a pandemic, had busied the roads, and as irresistible as Clarke was, Lexa was in no mood to cause a pile up; she filed it away to get to later. She settled for putting a hand on Clarke’s thigh, instead. “So what’s the story with this elusive Spruce Man?” 

“Well, that’s the thing; he could be a Pine Man this year. Or Fir, or Juniper. Then there was the year when he was the Ginkgo Dude. Never a dull moment with this guy.” She looked up and out the front windshield. “The trees are always so worth it, though. They’re these beautiful, lush things, ripe with..I don’t know, like, Christmas. The whole house smells incredible for days.” Clarke paused, a slow blush creeping up her cheeks. “And you know, it’s our first one together. So I want it to be special.”  

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[anansianansi]

Clexmas 2020 in the Love Lockdown Universe

Day 7: Home for the Holidays 

Turning over, Clarke shifted under the covers, bringing her naked body against Lexa’s; she dipped her face in the crook of her girlfriend’s neck, basking in her own personal safe space on Lexa’s skin. Hooking a leg over Lexa’s front, she revelled in the sensation of her sleep rhythm, the tender, light fuzz on Lexa’s stomach tickling Clarke’s inner thigh with each rise and fall. Clarke sighed, slipping an arm under Lexa’s breasts, tracing light patterns on her ribcage. She lay in the bliss of their shared warmth for a while, neither ready to face the day nor to lose the intimacy of having Lexa this close, and all around her; after having gone so long without, she craved her shamelessly, and even the shortest partings between them left her greedy for every single piece of Lexa she could keep close to her heart.

Feeling Lexa move to break the bonds of sleep, Clarke began a slow line of kisses up her shoulder, watching the skin pink momentarily under the pressure of her lips, until she left butterflies on each of Lexa’s closed eyelids, finishing with a gentle peck on Lexa’s slumberpouted lips. Lexa smiled, fluttering her eyes open, raising her arms above her head in a graceful stretch before bringing them around Clarke in an embrace. “Hi.” In sleep, Lexa’s innate shyness seemed to bloom; it was one of Clarke’s favourite things, seeing this softer side of the woman who she knew was about to grab the proverbial bull’s horns with her trademark stoicism. She kissed Lexa again, looking deep into her eyes, their smiles matching. “I missed you.”

“When? I was right here dreaming of you.” Lexa’s fingers tickled her shoulder blades; she shivered, then nuzzled Lexa’s nose with her own. “When you left.” Lexa had been back home for a couple of weeks, and Clarke had put on a brave front while she had been gone, but underneath it all, their first parting had stung hard. She chalked it down to echoes of their past, but it was going to take a while to get over.

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If you’re interested, Love Lockdown (the main fic these are for), is here.

Thank you so much for checking my stuff out! 

[anansianansi]

Day 4: Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Clarke comforts Lexa, but finds cold comfort herself.

By the time she clicked off the call and went back to the living room, it had lapsed into near silence, which in itself was a jarring change from the chaos of before. It was compounded by the fact that Raven and Luna sat together on the couch, quietly flicking through television channels. Clarke had never seen them look so muted together or come to think of it, so sheepish. Even Luna’s usually upturned nose seemed to be functioning at eye level for once. “I was literally gone five minutes. What the hell happened?” She asked, stopping short, her eyes scanning the room for Lexa.

In response, Raven sighed, and pointed to the back porch. “She went that way. Maybe we….” Clarke didn’t wait to hear the rest of the sentence. Grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch, she slipped on the winter house slippers sitting by the sliding door, before stepping out. It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust, and when they did, she could make out Lexa’s silhouette in the far right corner, slouched over and still, as she leaned against the wooden railing. “Lex?”

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[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!!

Chapter 79: Looking too closely

They were trying to keep it down, at least; there was something to be said for that, she supposed, though it was almost worse this way; she was distracted, pricking up her ears to catch the coherence through the sibilant, buoyant hisses currently floating in through the hallway. Eavesdropping wasn’t polite, but it sure as hell was fun. And as long as it didn’t disturb Clarke, she could put up with the tiff Raven and Luna seemed to be in the middle of, at the foot of the stairs.

Lexa pursed her lips; she had read the words over and over the last couple of days, and they somehow managed to infuriate her even more each time. The combination of smooth emptiness and trite lies before her was a grain of sand in her shell of purpose, and it was up to her now to turn it into something palatable, and ultimately, maybe even something beautiful. But for now, she mulled over the irritant before her, trying to separate the poison from the pearl.

“What about me? It’s like you don’t even care that I’m here half the time!” Luna’s usually shrill voice, compounded by the small space she was in, rang through the air. Lexa’s head snapped up; Clarke had to have heard that; looking at the clock on the laptop, Lexa realised that Clarke was probably at the end of the gruelling, nine-hour long exam that had taken up most of her waking energy over the last four months; she felt the tips of her own fingers run a little cold; if the anticipation of what this meant was getting to her, she could only begin to imagine how Clarke would be feeling right now. A loud crash from the hallway made her jump.

Lexa scowled, clenching her fists as she pushed the chair backwards, striding to the door in a few quick movements.“Will you please shut the fuck up?”

Keep reading here.

Chapters 1-78 here.

[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!!

Chapter 75: My darkest friend

“You should go,” Clarke whispered against Lexa’s lips, before locking them down to her own. Their mouths slid against each other in the cold morning air, wisps of breath escaping between them occasionally, carrying with them the words neither one was prepared to say. “Lunch. You need to be there for lunch.” She managed to say between kisses, digging her fists into the front of Lexa’s jacket, tethering herself.

“Okay.” Lexa, breathed, eyes hooded, mouth leaving an even line of kisses along Clarke’s jawline; they would be her breadcrumb trail home. “Yes, I should get on the road.” Arms tightening around Clarke’s waist, she stood up taller, firming her hold on the ground beneath her feet.

They stood like that for a while, just two lovers reenacting the farewells of countless others across aeons. What felt like theirs alone, though, were the particular wounds welted across their hearts; love’s cuts unique in their dark friendship, and in their unforgiving depth.

“I’ll be back in time for your finals.” Lexa held Clarke’s face in her hands, willing her fingers to remember the shape, the skin, the softness, the only map to guide her through the coming nights. “Two weeks.” She looked deep into Clarke’s blue, blue eyes, reminding herself that this time was different; there was no leaving this time; just a temporary parting. All the same, the trepidation in them broke her heart a little and she kissed Clarke again, showing her everything that she couldn’t say.

This time, it would be two weeks, not ten years, Clarke told herself, her heart thundering in her chest. Sighing into Lexa’s mouth, she pushed aside the voice telling her otherwise. What had once been an anchor that had gotten her through the storm of losing Lexa the last time was now only a ball and chain dragging her to the bottom of an ocean of doubt. “Go.” She stroked Lexa’s hair, running her fingers across her eyebrows, cheekbones, the corners of her mouth, before leaning in for another kiss. “So you can come back.”

“I love you.” Lexa kissed her hands, disentangling them from her lapels, before slipping into the rental before she could change her mind. Drawing the window down, she aimed for levity. “Try and miss me a little bit?”

Clarke flashed her a weak smile. “No promises; I’ll do my best.” Her eyes and her lips told Lexa a completely different story.

With what she hoped was a reassuring smile and wave, Lexa was gone, watching the keeper of her heart get smaller and smaller until she was an unforgettable speck in the distance.

Clarke waited until she saw the car blur on the faraway horizon, and only then did she drop her shoulders in defeat, exhaling slowly. Fourteen days, six hours, forty-three minutes and seventeen seconds to go; but who was counting?

Keep reading here.

Chapters 1-74 here.

[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!!

Chapter 77: On a bloodbuzz, yes I am

Trigger warning: Description of Clarke's panic attack towards the end of the chapter on AO3. If you want to skip the section and would like a summary of it, let me know in the comments.

—————-

Time: 49 minutes. Distance: 10.02 miles. Pace: 7.88 minutes per mile.

Lexa slowed to a stop, resting her hands on her knees, gradually straightening up to begin walking back to the house. She paused halfway there, stretching her limbs, taking in the groves of dormant trees laid out before her. Wiping off the trails of sweat with her sleeve, she felt the chill start to seep through her clothes; standing at the foot of the steps, she turned once more to survey the view, expanding her chest to breathe in the crisp, clean air before heading inside to shower. This trip had been a great idea; she felt completely energised and the time to herself, without the buzzing presence of housemates, had given her the headspace she had so desperately needed, the space she was sorely lacking. Stripping down and stepping into the shower, Lexa realized that she had just described the perfect lifestyle to herself. Well, almost perfect, she corrected herself. There was just one, crucial piece missing in it.

“Hello?”

Lexa’s heart skipped at the delicious little break in her girlfriend’s voice; she stopped chewing her breakfast for a moment, taking in the treat that was Clarke waking up. Her hands wrapped around the coffee mug tighter; right then, she wished the warmth seeping through came from feeling Clarke moving under them. She sighed, resting her mug at the cusp of her jaw and neck; on her phone screen, Clarke half sat up, running a hand through dishevelled hair, the strap of her tank falling off one shoulder; Lexa’s fingers itched to slide over the creamy skin to coax it back on; actually, who was she kidding? She would have taken it all off, preferably with her teeth, leaving her hands free to roam, caress, to slip over and in Clarke.

Damn everything. She ached for this woman with everything she had, no, with everything she was. Lexa clenched her jaw; there was less than a week to go, and this time away had been almost everything she had needed. But she couldn’t fucking wait to get home and wake up next to the golden goddess she was lucky to call her own. The same one who was currently sitting up, her head in one hand, groaning at the time. “Shit, Lex, I’m so glad you called. I overslept. I fucking overslept.” Okay, so a slightly grumpy goddess was no less alluring. Trying to keep what she knew was a dreamy stare in check, Lexa cleared her throat. “It’s only a couple of hours, Clarke. You’ve got the whole day.” She smiled shyly at the phone. “And I’m glad I got to wake you up. It’s been a while.”

Clarke paused, rubbing her eyes, a small but genuine smile on her lips. “Me too. Four days to go, baby.” She reached for her glasses on the nightstand, putting them on as she sat up in bed again, trying to smooth out her hair, sighing. “Well, and seven until this nightmare of an exam is over. I can’t fucking wait.”

Keep reading here.

Chapters 1-76 here.

[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!!

Chapter 76: Keep it light enough to travel

What are the five Ts that cause cyanotic heart disease?

Clarke began typing out the answers, muttering them under her breath. “Truncus, transposition, tricuspid atresia, total anomalous venous return and….” The cursor blinked back at her, coldly. In the corner of the screen, she watched the timer count up; she was losing precious seconds. “Goddammit. Fallot. Fallot….” She typed the word in, hitting Submit on the question bank interface. Four green arrows and a red cross popped up before her. “Tetralogy of Fallot. That’s it.” She smacked her forehead; so close. Quickly, she flipped to her cardiology notes, skimming over the section, committing the gist to memory again. “Right. Combination of four congenital abnormalities…. ventricular septal defect (VSD), pulmonary valve stenosis, a misplaced aorta and a thickened right ventricular wall (right ventricular hypertrophy).” She repeated the words a few times over, eyes closed, imagining the diagrams for each one, her fingers sketching out the particular flaws making up each diagnosis, the art helping her mind navigate to the science. She looked up at the final answer tally for her practice exam. 219. Pass. Congratulations! An electronic trumpet blew out its fanfare, announcing a simulated grade. She sat back in her chair, folding her arms; this was good, but could she repeat it when it really mattered? Then there was the issue of reaching the elusive top tier range to open the door to the residency programs she was looking at. Sighing, she clicked through the screens, reviewing the answers she had gotten wrong.

A half hour later, she stood up, turning off her computer. She needed a break; her brain was fried. Pulling up her messages as she headed downstairs and into the kitchen, she scrolled idly through her conversations with Lexa over the past week; she was waiting for a response from her last one from earlier in the morning. Leaning against the counter, a glass of water in her hand, she pouted, debating whether to text again. She missed Lexa desperately. The last seven days had alternated between whizzing by when it came to studying for her Clinical Knowledge final, and crawling every time she thought of Lexa. They had kept up a steady stream of a few messages during the day, and talking every night before bed, but the sheer inadequacy of not having her girlfriend’s arms to fall into after yet another brutal study session was beginning to get to her. Clarke rubbed her eyes, tiredly. She was a grown woman in her thirties, a soon-to-be doctor for crying out loud, not a teenager in the throes of first love. Then why the hell did she feel so out of sorts all of a sudden?

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Chapters 1-75 here.

[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!

Chapter 73: This must be the place

“...And now, live from the Newsroom, another Quick-Break Update. We’re here, in the belly of the beast, so to speak. Right behind me, behind this bulletproof glass, is where crucial votes, every single one of them, are being counted. As we know, this is one of the counties where the Republicans are leading by a slim margin, one that seems to be reducing rapidly with every swathe of mail-in votes that is tallied. Oh, excuse me folks, we have a new development….” The news anchor trailed off, with voices in the background rushing in to fill the silence. In her bedroom across from Clarke’s and the TV’s, Lexa looked up, tilting her head sideways, bracing herself. Maybe this was it; the moment the entire country, and the whole world, probably, had been holding its breath for, for close to a week now. She began raising herself off the floor, and was half up when she heard the words float through the door. “And I have just been told we have another 35,000 votes tallied. Which brings the Democrats in the lead by about...2960 votes. Of course, that’s just this county. Overall, Biden leads the state by 49.7%, but we’re still not quite there yet, folks….Stay tuned.” Lexa sighed, sitting back down; her heart was racing.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Again?” Raven’s voice rang through the house from across the hallway. Within moments, she appeared at Lexa’s door. “I can’t take this shit anymore, ISTFG; why can’t they just call it and put us out of our misery?”

Lexa shook her head, wryly. “2020 is the gift that just keeps on giving, huh?”

Raven drummed her fingers on the doorway as she rolled her eyes. “I need out; I’m meeting Luna for brunch. Text me if the sky falls?” She paused, eyeing Lexa. “You good, Woods? Haven’t had much chance to catch up; which is weird, considering we live together.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “I can think of at least one reason why.” She watched Raven open and close her mouth.

“Okay, yeah, fine, I’ll admit, I’ve been uh, distracted. With Luna.” Raven folded her arms tightly. “But like, I just figured you and Clarke have each other. And need your alone time….” The words died on her tongue; Lexa didn’t need to point out the weakness of her argument.

“Ray, I get it; you do you. We’re both happy for you. It’s just….I know Clarke misses you, that’s all. She’s got a lot going on with school and stuff; and I’m the only one she gets to talk to about it.”

Raven nodded. “Friends versus lovers, huh?”

“We’re both; you know that. But, I’m not you.” Lexa shrugged. “Clarke needs her ride-or-die.” It was a fact. “Trust me, I would know the value of that.”

“Anya?”

“Yeah.” Lexa looked away; what she wouldn’t have given to see her in the flesh right about now.

Raven was silent for a few moments, contemplating something. “Senior year, when Clarke and you were inseparable, I used to think you’d both forgotten about the rest of us. About me.”

“The selfishness of lovers. Or whatever we were then.”

“Lovers.” Raven nodded in agreement. “There isn’t another word for it, Woods. I can’t believe I didn’t see it then, wow. But, I used to think you were her ride-or-die.” She paused. “Though that hasn’t really changed, huh?”

Lexa shrugged, locking eyes with Raven. “I’d still die for her.”

Keep reading here.

Chapters 1-72 here.

[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!!

Chapter 78: I’m your messiah, and you’re the reason why

It always began with fingers; once they touched the intoxicating softness of Lexa’s skin, there wasn’t much Clarke could do to hold back. Like now, when she couldn’t stop tracing patterns, planets, maps tucked sightlessly into the taut lines of Lexa’s back. Even in sleep, the sinews flexed gently, responding to Clarke’s caresses. Moving closer, Clarke replaced them with her mouth, painting Lexa’s back with lingering, moist symbols, signs of what she had searched for the last ten days. She imagined herself a tattoo artist, kissing designs in between Lexa’s bare shoulder blades, using her tongue to travel lower, lower, lower until she reached her swell of her ass. She cursed her momentary hesitation about whether to slip inside Lexa’s perfectly tight boxers when Lexa turned over, sighing softly, until Clarke realized, even in sleep, her hips canted forward slowly, building a tantalizing rhythm that she couldn’t keep her eyes off; a small patch of wetness was turning the front of Lexa’s white underwear translucent; Clarke licked her lips; she wanted to be part of whatever dream was making Lexa that hot; hell, she wanted Lexa to drip like that into her mouth.

Keep reading here.

Chapters 1-77 here.

[anansianansi]

Lexa came to say hi, y’all. Think she wanted to know when the next chapter was going up.

[anansianansi]

Aaaah....do I have the BEST readers? Yes, yes I do. THANK YOU SO MUCH friends, you have no idea how good this feels. 🤗🤗🥰

[anansianansi]

Love Lockdown update!

Counter some of your election-related anxiety with the latest from Clexa in this pandemic AU.

Chapter 72: Does it come in cages? Does it come in threes?

In a way, Death had always been a part of her life; not just in the way it was for everyone else - something to walk or run up to, a marker for the end of things, and depending on what you believed, the gun shot at the beginning of another race, and maybe another kick at the can. For Clarke, it had always  been something more, a shadow on her shoulder, a tingling anticipation that Death and her, for what it was worth, would always be engaging in a trade of sorts - for a little more time in exchange for the implicit understanding that in the end, there were neither winners nor losers; it was all just a lesson in the nature of things and cycles. 

The first time that realization dawned on her, she had been about six, kneeling before the fish tank in her room. She was rapt as she stared into it, her fingertips pressed flat against the glass and white with pressure, her eyes wide blue orbs reflecting Crackers, her beloved goldfish, playing out his perfectly choreographed final scene before her. At first, it had only seemed like a little twitch in his left fin, a slight paralysis as it tried to keep up with the rest of him. Then, he had begun swimming sideways; Clarke had put down her crayons and stepped away from her drawing to watch him. Crackers was always up to silly things, like hiding in the ferns and trying to scare the other fishes as they swam by, or chasing bubbles all the way to the surface. But this was weird, even for him. He seemed to be finding it harder and harder to right himself; Clarke tried to reach for him, her fingers dipping into the cold water, but he shied away, gasping and swimming backwards. She hadn’t wanted to scare him, so she had stood by and watched, hoping he would twist himself upside. But then, in a matter of minutes, Crackers had gone belly up, his fishy mouth slowing its frantic ‘O’s until it gradually stopped moving, his tail struggling, eventually giving up its swishing for stillness. Clarke saw the exact second it happened - the life leaving Crackers, his glassy eyes petrifying into morbidity. She hadn’t known what to call it until much later, when Abby had come up to fetch her for dinner, and had found her fixated on Crackers’ lifeless, bloated form, bobbing gently at the top, a useless buoy among the tips of the tank plants. Death. 

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