#loved the space lesbians too god bless

[froggyrights2]

The dual destinies soundtrack goes Sooo fucking crazy im losing my mind how is it this good

[slapjacq]

Thoughts as I listen to s1 ep6-while you were hypersleeping 2:

Ep 6:

MF WHAT-

HOW WAIT WHAT WHATS GOING ON-

KAREN GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

KAREN? WIAR WHAG-

WHAG THIS FUCKING EARLY

WARREN WAIT DUDE WTF ARE YOU IN FOR

Someone needs to punch someone else this instant and, specifically, I think Warren should be able to sock this Clive dude in the face

HOLY SHIT HE DID

SO MANY QUESTIONS JESUS

HES FOING BACK TO SLEEP WHAT-

While you were hyper sleeping (whole mini series):

GORDON I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

he’s me fr

oh Warren this poor fucker bro is not having a good time

Clive is such an asshole and I can’t help but love his antics

Also the Shining references both thematically and just from the dialogue is top tier shit to me

S2 ep1:

44 FUCKING YEARS

AND THEY WERE LESBIANS

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY BOY GORDON I JUST GOT ATTACHED WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS-

I feel like I’m spiraling through space and time good fucking lord

ep 2:

Oh okay wait I think I’m getting it now

Oh Christ the dead frozen body??? Always when I’m eating never when I’m chilling

Oh god oh what the fuck are those sounds

I have zero trust in ms ma’am Bryony and she should be allowed to do everything I may not trust her but I trust the shit she does. She’s batshit, she’s insane, but by god would I follow her to the ends of the earth.

oh wait wow no she’s crazy crazy slay

Also poor Gordon just keeps going through it

And shoutout my pet hamster Warren this mf is just dying and then dying all over again isn’t he

Ep3:

Warren isn’t girlbossing his way through, he’s just fucking dissociated. Lemme tell you I cannot blame the man.

OH AND HES GONE MF LMAO

HES LOVES SNOW

MAZDA BONGO FRIENDEE LETS GO BOYS IT WAS AUBREY THE WHOLE TIME

Shoutout absurdism ig

“I think I scared the shit out of him” what is with insane women scaring the shit out of pathetic archivists in podcasts

Also the fact that all of the ladies in this show are absolutely insane is just so dear to me. And not just like feral insane, but like victor Frankenstein insane anyways shoutout Mary Shelley. Forces of nature to be dealt with but just the forces of nature are making these ladies need shoulder rubs from their girlfriends or hands on therapy (aka threatening some loser with a saw)

Ep 4:

Warren you nutjob bless you and your crazy ass

The fact that Gordon is somehow the more sane one out of two is so funny and an insane leap from what the dynamic was between these two a season ago.

YES GET THAT MF A TORTOISE

Aubrey is so fucking right though, like trauma jokes aside how truly well adjusted could one be after the mind fuck that is hyper sleep plus the absolute insanity of dreamlike memories just peppered in between it all.

Like I distinctly remember having a really long dream where I woke up like 16 different times. And everytime for some variation of time something happened between each time I woke up and like that fucked me up for a good week. That being said I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE what it must be like to have that happen to you in real life. That just sounds like such a fucking trip Jesus

CHANNEL MF 6

While you were sleeping 2:

My head is gonna explode from the exposition so far. Plus my ✨gummy✨ just started working.

Honestly from what I’ve heard from other people, those within STEM jobs are pretty incestuous with their work. Most specialty jobs are. There’s always gonna be recycling, mainly because theres never enough funding to make the world go round so I mean yeah

Bryony is THAT BITCH though

She knows it too. Good for her.

Yeah I think that’s enough for tonight.

[snowangeldotmp3]

mean girls (2024)

fine. FINE. it is time to discuss mean girls (2024) bc i can't stop thinking about it and i had a severe mean girls the musical phase in 2018 and 2020 two separate times. and also i took notes watching the movie last night. so now you are all subject to hearing them. spoilers, obvi. (under the cut, of course)

i think it should be noted here that i also have Thoughts and Feelings on the bway musical. so if anyone wants to know those... moving on.

it's a movie-musical adapted from the stage musical adapted from the 2004 movie adapted from a BOOK called Queen Bees and Wannabes released in 2002. now that that's out of the way:

the good:

the sets are so much fun in the movie. the musical is like. a few desks and tables and a bed that all move and then. screens. i missed real sets. so much

opening the musical with janis and damien recording the video in the garage and having their narration work like that worked sooooo well. and then of course ending in the garage was very fun.

speaking of janis and damien, these are my favorite versions of janis and damien. auli'i and jaquel KILL IT as janis and damien.

angourie's cady (acting-wise) is really good. really cute and naïve and it feels authentic as a transition from new kid cady to plastic cady.

i also don't mind the changes to apex predator. i think auli'i and jaquel killed it and i think it works! i like the choreo too where everyone is acting animalistic (re: this is Girl World in the og movie) except regina.

avantika and bebe wood are also really great as gretchen and karen. this might be my favorite version of karen. ily karen shetty.

LOVE this version of someone gets hurt. i love regina controlling the atmospehere around her and literally becoming the apex predator. the partygoers don't move unless she allows it, and even planning cady's reaction (which is. gayer than expected) is so good.

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE? i prefer the story behind the pyro-lez thing. i never liked the space dyke story in the musical and i thought it was weird (though i prefer them calling her a space dyke because it's supposed to be mean. ya know)

im saving this for this bullet point bc every other bullet point would've been about but i've been a fan of renee's regina for forever now, so being able to see it outside of broadway and outside of shaky bootlegs is a blessing.

after regina eats shit at the talent show, during the social media montage, you can briefly hear the intrumental version of world burn, and i think thats cool.

SOMEONE GETS HURT (REPRISE) you will always be famous. i am so sorry they didn't put you on the soundtrack

damien on the jazzy will forever be funny. it's better than the og movie. i will stand by this.

also the background/looming beat of world burn like a second after janis gets done singing + the looming threat of regina's revenge is very cool.

OH world burn is very awesome in this bc. duh. of course it is. but what really stands out to me is that it's like apex predator again where everyone is acting like animals and reginas above it all (bc she did this lmao). another thing is the transition between one of the high notes to regina fake crying in mr duvalls office. that was so slay.

the reginald joke is my fave in the whole musical and im so glad they kept it. it makes me giggle every time.

canon lesbian janis imi'ike i love you.

the bad:

i miss all of the songs. give me back It Roars, Where Do You Belong, the entirety of Meet the Plastics, the What's Wrong with Me reprise, FEARLESS! and Whose House is This, More is Better, and Do This Thing!! GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!!! PLEASE!!! OH my god and Stop. jaquel would've blown this out of the water i just know it.

i miss the jokes about mrs george and her boob job. that shit was hilarious.

i don't care for cady's pov in revenge party in this one. those who have seen it Know.

i also miss the "NO! THEY'RE BOTH IN THE COSTUME!" that shit killed me. absolutely hilarious.

the musical (bway edition) actually did cut some of the iconic scenes from the movie, but i think this movie would've benefitted from adding them back in. give me the "we should totally just stab caesar!" line.

i hate Rockin Around The Pole. so fucking much. i hate it in the broadway version and i hated it in this. i hate this song so fucking much.

chris briney. that's all. he's got about as much personality as a wet piece of paper. get a different aaron.

even the broadway musical is like, actually mean. it still pales in comparison to the og movie. this movie could have done a little more to stand out from the actual musical and the og movie. idk. it could've said something. but if you walked into this movie and expected it to say something then that's on you. sorry.

this isn't something that needs to be categorized but i miss cady's inner monologue. it's very obvious in the movie but she's even got these cute little asides in the musical that i WISH they would've kept. like: "it seems kinda bad to spy on someone, but they're the first friends i've got, and i don't want to have none." is so much fun and gives cady so much character and i love it so much. erika henningsen is my favorite variation of cady. she's believable as both nerdy cady and plastic cady. also she's so, so funny. (honestly i think they should've brought her back for cady's songs in this musical. sawry. i don't think they should've replaced angourie bc i really like her cady But.)

another cute and quirky thing that i like from the musical that isn't in the movie (because it would be really hard to pull off) is that mrs heron/mrs george/mrs norbury are all played by the same actress.

anyway that's all i have to say about mean girls (2024). in my (completely unprofessional) opinion, they should've literally just adapted the actual musical script if they wanted to make this so bad. or released a pro-shot with renee as regina and this cast or something. they should've gone all out campy musical with this one instead of trying to market it as a remake bc it's not Really a remake. like it Is but it's Not.

if u read this whole thing thank you. if you saw this post and went "jesus christ" im sorry. i wish i could stop thinking about it, too.

[ma-lark-ey]

I feel like challenging GOD so in my first ever read of Harry Potter I will be listing all of my headcanons in one big master post and sending it into the void space of tumblr thank you goodbye. I have no concept over which of these are hottakes, which of these are widely accepted, and which of them are just me being batshit crazy because as I write this I have never once looked at the Harry Potter fandom proper and my only knowledge of it is My Immortal and the fact that TikTok thinks Harry's dad and Sirius' little brother should makeout. 1. Ron Weasley is autistic.

2. Neville Longbottom is half-Korean on his mother's side, and also probably wears goofy little frog overalls.

3. Ron is tall, Harry is Short

4. Harry's scar is smattered across his face like a lightning storm and not just one little bolt, that's pussy shit. Make that shit dramatic

5. Ron and Luna probably had a fling at one point. Autism for autism

6. No way this isn't fanon, but Luna Lovegood is autistic.

7. Ginny Weasley is the HOTTEST bitch in Hogwarts and she is AWARE.

8. In Goblet of Fire the entire little Ron and Harry arc happening there was that they had a summer fling and then broke up when Ron had his little pissboy arc and they were both babies about it and then went back to having their regularly scheduled bromance thank you goodnight

9. Harry is actually dating a new person each book, no matter how short-lived it is. Why? Comedy. It's FUNNY.

10. I think Harry and Ginny have a shotgun wedding at like, nineteen.

11. All I know is that in my brief dive into AO3 (re: I looked up this exact tag out of morbid curiosity of it was A Thing), Sirius/Snape were apparently one of the smallest ships with like only 2k fics which is wild to me, because that enemies to lovers??? Thought bitches would eat that shit up. I don't ship it, but it still was wild.

12. Sirius and Remus are in love. (post mortum: I have now dived just slightly in the fic of Harry Potter and realize this is widely accepted fanon.)

13. Hermione wears fun frilly dresses outside of school and actually really loves dressing up and being girly fuck this 'not like other girls' agenda going on with her. Put her in a pretty dress and let her frolic in a field with flowers.

14. Luna is a seer. She goes on to teach divination

15. I was gonna say something about in my little noggin Ginny raised her and Harry's kid as a single mom or whatever and it's a fic I'm gonna work on and also his name is Remus Weasley and he's a Slytherin but APPARENTLY that's just the entire plot of the Cursed Child as my HP special interest having bestie informed me. I just added in a Gryffindor pretty boy for my Slytherin Potter boy to make out with when JKR was too much of a coward to make him gay.

16. RON SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN HUFFLEPUFF.

17. Cedric Diggory lived a very long and happy life and had a lovely spouse - guy who got really attached to this dorky little dude, knowing full well how he died.

18. It takes Harry at LEAST two marriages to women to realize he's gay. The egg takes a very long time to crack.

19. Ron is straight. He's just. He's got such bi wife energy.

20. Ginny Weasley is a raging bisexual, and so are the twins, and so is Bill. And Charlie? I know in my soul that's a nonbinary.

21. Luna Lovegood? NOT a lesbian, sorry lesbians. I'm claiming her for the aromantics. That's right. She belongs to us.

22. Fleur Delacour was a lesbian. LESBIAN.

23. Harry and Dudley reconnect in their like, thirties/forties and actually become good friends I think.

24. Harry often does diy piercings in the bathrooms during fifth and sixth year, Luna helps.

25. Fred and Lee Jordan are boyfriends god bless.

26. Out of spite for JKR, here's a list of trans woman in Harry Potter according to ME: Ginny Weasley, McGonagall, Hermione, Luna, Lily Potter (her and James are t4t), Tonks (that bitch is nonbinary transfemme),

27. I will live, breathe, and die by my personal headcannon that Tonks and Remus are comphet and in a lavender marriage but they lovingly coparent their child together and regularly at parties Tonks goes "where's my husband? Oh, he's making out with his boyfriend okay cool." and moves on.

28. Draco Malfoy's patronus is that white ferret Moody Crouch turned him into in book four.

29. In my perfect world James Potter is alive and I love him most than anything, I'm holding him like a wet cat. i literally bought three stag plushes over the month I was reading this series just because I couldn't stop thinking about him.

30. I am ignoring the implications in the epilogue that Harry did not raise Teddy Lupin, because he did, actually. That was the last promise he made to his beloved Remus Lupin and if Deathly Hallows taught us anything it's that Harry Potter keeps a fucking promise <<3

31. Molly and Arthur heavily assisted Harry in his 'I'm gonna raise this god damn orphan to good y'all won't know what hit him. I'm gonna be such a good dad.'

32. I am literally IGNORING all these implications of the Cursed Child. Draco Malfoy is also a banger dad. i think he goes to counseling and sorts out his issues and tries very hard to not put such high expectations on his own kids. I think he tries very hard to undo the damage Lucius did to him, and the bad choices he made in trying to make his parents proud of him. I think he makes sure his kids know better than anything else, that all he wants for them is joy. He wants them to be good, happy people.

33. Just Lovers - Zerrazapriel says that Sirius' patronus is Moony and that's so fucking real and true of that fucking fic and I live by that now.

34. On a similar note, Molly and Arthur have matching patronus'

35. Fuck this 'hermione minister of magic' nonsense that girl is a leftist and would never join politics did jkr forget her own fucking canon of harry and hermione doing their absolute best to fuck the government over for the last half of the series? whatever the fuck. HERMIONE TEACHES CHARMS AT HOGWARTS.

36. I'm sorry I got so heated on that last one. I had thoughts. Anyways, Draco also goes on to become head of Slytherin and teaches DADA.

37. I was so anti-Draco for the entire first five books and then the last two books Happened and so now I'm just holding him so close to my chest. He needs therapy. And i think it takes him until their mid-twenties or so, but I think he does make amends with Harry and the crew and actively tries to come back from the actions of his youth, and obviously the Golden Trio and co are sympathetic because Harry himself in the books clearly could recognize Draco was acting on the instruction of his trusted adults, trusting they knew better than him.

38. this is not a headcanon but the wandlore of Draco having a unicorn hair in his wand and the unicorn hair wizards being the most difficult to turn evil and his wand ultimately being the one to defeat voldemort is sooooooo. He's such a product of grooming and I think about him. I want to study him.

39. YOU KNOW WHAT. what if I said harry trans woman who unpacks her gender after the war is over and has time to contemplate who she is as a person and her and Draco become a very cute and in love little couple in their early thirties??? what then???? (does this fic exist and if it does give me links)

40. I think the funniest mental image ever is if Harry just shows up to a party or whatever with everyone when they're like, 26 with Draco fucking Malfoy in his arm and is like "this is my boyfriend" with no further explanation or nothing and half of the group is like "no yeah this is an expected development" and the other half is like "THE BITCHBOY????" and yeah.

I will most definitely have more Harry Potter thoughts as time goes on but this is all I'll put into the world. Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.

[heatwa-ves]

top 5 doctor who episodes

allowing myself to group 2 parters into one for this bc otherwise the entire list would be just the S9 finale. also it's 10 not 5 because I have too many opinions

1. face the raven/heaven sent/hell bent. to the surprise of no one it's the twelveclara episodes at my number one 💖 heaven sent the best timeloop episode ever. he spent four and a half BILLION years dying over and over and over for a chance at bringing clara back to life. and then he was gonna do to her what he did to donna but she reversed the polarity (doctorification of clara oswald. hello. can you hear me) and he lost his memory of her!!!!!! and the diner scene!!! references to impossible astronaut!!! "I think it's called Clara"!!!!!! Every single thing ever!!!!! claras third insane immortal lesbian situationship!!!! Rigsy!!!! It's the best written episodes ever I'll never recover

2. the empty child/the doctor dances she's got everything! christopher eccleston being excellent as always I miss him. dancing as a metaphor for bisexuality and polyamory! captain jack!! no monster!! just this once everyone lives!! a beautifully hopeful ending!! genuinely scary at times!! great minor characters!! rewatching this last november is what got me back into dw it's That Good

3. flatline CLARAAAA CLARA CLARA ITS A CLARA EPISODE. the doctor is her little purse dog. rigsy being great. scary ass monsters. clara being everything. this kickstarting my favorite plotline. beginning of claras doctorification. "goodness had nothing to do with it." clara lying to her boyfriend because she's fucking insane and still dedicated to maintaining her actively failing relationship with a guy she never loved. The ending scene. Clara.

4. mummy on the orient express twelveclaraisms 💖 this episode has everything the drama the intrigue the murder mystery the orient express IN SPACE! MAISIE!!!!! one of my fav side characters! such incredible lines "everything would be easier if we liked the people we're meant to like, but then there'd be no fairy tales" twelve getting clara to lie to maisie that she can be saved!!! more doctorification!!! THE I LOVE YOU SCENE. CLARA OSWALD. SHAKES YOU. god it's everything. have I mentioned Maisie. I love Maisie. claras hair and outfit

5. deep breath more twelveclaraisms idk what you expected from me. claras perfect outfits. the beginning of the best dynamic ever. peter capaldis first episode! a dinosaur! jenny and vastra!!! moral questions!! missys first appearance!! and of course the final scene!! the final scene of this episode is THE best twelveclara scene perhaps the best dw scene in general

6. world enough and time/the doctor falls I have never cried so much 👍👍👍👍👍 canonical selfcest which is not addressed enough that was insane. awesome premise the cybermen returning in tandem with the master to once again reflect their relationship with the doctor in a twisted version of humanity! Missy!!! Everything about missy!!! goodness without hope without witness without reward!! her death as the perfect scene that her whole arc has built up to!! everything about bill!!! at least she got a happy ending god bless immortal lesbianisms. I feel sick.

7. amys choice amy centric episode 💖💖💖💖💖 really really good what else can I say. It was one of the first dw episodes I watched several years ago and its still a banger. can we talk about how she killed herself rather than live in a world without rory. "this can't be reality because rory isn't here and if it is reality I don't want it" perfect episode no notes

8. the waters of mars it's so fucking good there's nothing else to say. really good standalone episode even if you've never seen any other dw.

9. silence in the library/forest of the dead beginning of the river arc!!! impeccable doctordonna chemistry as always they work so well together it's astounding. really compelling and interesting!!!!! it's so good!!!!! another one that's worth watching even if you haven't seen any other dw

10. the angels take manhattan okay listen. hear me out. it's objectively kind of bad because of the awful awful massacre of the angels lore BUT I will ignore that because every single amy and rory scene is pure perfection. another contender for best dw scene. the last scene with amy makes no sense because eleven and river were looking at the angel so it shouldn't have been able to move but ill ignore that because its sooooo good. I love amy I love rory. worst part of the episode is that she changes her name to amelia williams tho she would not fucking do that. it's rory pond not amy williams.

honourable mentions: smith & jones, utopia, every single episode in S4, the eleventh hour, vincent and the doctor, the girl who waited, the god complex, the lodger, listen, thin ice, oxygen, twice upon a time. ANYWAY!!!!

[danpuff-ao3]

What a sweet Tea-Tai! Get it? Sweetie pie, but Sweet Tea-Tai? Cuz @teacup-tai? Is oh so sweet? Okay, before everyone boos me offstage: Tai is such a lovely soul! We don't know each other very well, but I see her bright presence from a mile away! She leaves such sweet comments (which I've been the lucky recipient of a time or two!) She's so supportive and beyond kind. Just this colorful, warm, comforting presence that fills me with all the good feels just to be near! I always love to see her name pop up and to see what she has to say, and how she's blessing our fandom any given day! And to honor such a gorgeous soul, I shall rec you a few excellent works of hers!

Breaking wild roses (stings like love's pain)

Hermione/Pansy. Rated: E. Words: 1,389. Stream of consciousness. Poetic angst. Hopeful ending.

l o v e l y

I feel like a scream is stuck inside my chest, creeping up in the deep dark hollow of my throat. It’s a mix of pain and agony. So to keep it down, I open my mouth and fill it with your soft, tender flesh. The bronze skin of your shoulder right against my tongue.

For God is love

Draco/Harry. Rated: M. Words: 3,145. Catholic priests. Sin. Angst. Confession. Religious guilt.

s t u n n i n g (also ouch)

1 John 4:8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

heart me (with your whole body)

Draco/Harry. Rated: E. Words: 9,028. Heartbreak. Unhealthy relationship. Open relationship gone wrong. Dub-con. Unequal power dynamics. Unequal sex drive. Ambiguous/open ending.

OUCH (I love it)

It was a sexy idea, exploring other bodies with Draco, engaging in sex with other people to spice things up. Something inside of him was excited about the prospect, but the nagging fear, the feeling of abandonment that follows each image that pops in his head is throwing him off. 

He would give it a go. See what it was like. He could always say no, right?

Nicotine/Linger

Hermione/Pansy. Rated: E. Words: 26,626. Enemies to friends to lovers. Meet-cute. Soft butch Pansy. Slice of life. Character study.

Pansy has been living a slow Muggle life in Ireland for five years now. Managing her anxiety and trauma with one too many drinks, way more anonymous fucks in loos than strictly advised, wonderful Muggle friends and a job that keeps her hands busy. Life is kinda alright -though a tad bit fucked up- until she stumbles into Hermione Granger in the Muggle Hospital. 

This is a story about childhood enemies trying a tentative friendship far from the chaotic magical world. A tale about falling in love with the cute golden lesbian and the slow, ginger path of reconnecting with things that make you feel whole.

Sacred Geography

Albus/Gellert. Rated: M. Words: 670. Lovers to Enemies.

You’ve lived a life of penance all these years because of him. And with him sitting there, across this stupid Muggle table, staring at you with a mean knowing glint in his eyes, you realise why.

Space Bodies

Draco/Harry. Rated: M. Words: 1,494. Pining. Mentions of suicidal ideation. Mentions of transphobia. Stream of consciousness. Happy ending.

She tastes like a love story.

The Truth Runs Wild

Blaise/Ron. Rated: E. Words: 3,026. Bisexual awakening. Quidditch Player Blaise. Fanboy Ron. One night stand.

HOT HOT HOT

It’s Harry’s fault and his whole ‘gay awakening’ and all the shit he had to hear Harry talk him through, in the name of friendship and supportive brotherhood. But honestly, if Zabini licking his lips can be this sensual, what could he do with a dick in his mouth? Ron flushes, because he cannot be honestly thinking about Blaise Zabini and blowjobs. Like, he’s straight, right. Right?

for an explanation about Mutuals March, or to figure out why i wrote you a thing, please check out this post.

[nityarawal]

6/11/15

"What Is Hot?"

Morning Songs

I wish I Had A Tape Recorder

But I Don't

Sitting In The Car

Camping Since Valentines'

Debug

Lymes From Court Rats

Spirochetes Too

Sharky Spike Brown Proteins

Sunil's Superstrings

Detoxying

Stop Shedding

Dr's Germs

Bugs Suicide Out Of Me

Moths

Fleas

Scabies

Surrender

At Peace

Body Lice

Parasites

Amoeabaes

Call it What You Want

Diving Out Of Me

Worms

Covid19

Please

Green Fungus

Gungivitis

Trees- Limbs- Branches

Growths

Die in Oxygen

Crystal's

Sand

River Bottoms

Dumping Out Of Me

Heavy Metals

Mica

Mountain Bugs

Debris

Call It What You

Want

Please

Call Me "Gross"

And You Won't Be Getting

"Any"

Any Thing

From Me

See Me Doing

My Manual Massage

See Me

Rubbing

Vicks

Oily

From Head To Toe

Sculpting

Madonna

See My Camphor Eyes

Lucid

Glowing

Light

Magdalena

Doing Miracles

In The Back Parking Lot

Keep Your Distance

At The Visitors' Center

There's A Reason Why

We Camp In Quarantine

Keep Your Distance

We Ask You Politely

Don't Crowd My Space

Keep Your Distance

We Knew Those Bloated

Officers

Were Spreading Germs

And Would Blow Up

Like Sharkbait

Keep Your Distance

6 Feet Please

My Tax Dollars

Paid You To Figure

Out A 911 Emergency

From A Distance

Dissolution

From Marine PA

Parent Alienation

Keep Your Distance

Stay Out Of My House

Please

Keep Your Distance

My Casita Can't Sustain

This Mess

Your Cloying

Hands

Keep Your Distance

Keep Your Distance

Stay Off Federal

Cahuillan Grounds

Sacred Lands

Keep Your Distance

Don't Shine Your

Overbearing Flashlight

In My sleeping Eyes

Not Into My Car Camp

On BLM Land

Your Despised

Keep Your Distance

Stay Out Of My Kitchen

My Womb

Keep Your Distance

My Who-Who

Is Not For You

We Don't Need Your

Overprotective

Toxic Gay Oppressive

Policing

Doctoring

Our Families

Keep Your Distance

Take Your Gay

Officer Dates

On Your Own Time

K-gay

Not Family Dimes

Keep Your Distance

Give Me My Gag

Reels

Rapes And Abusive

Black Web Porn

Cop Crimes

Crank Calls

Give to Me

My Soldiers

Reperations

From Gay Defense Atty Team

For I'm The Custodian

Of My Things

Of Me

My Kids

My Body

And Homes

Return All

To Me My Soldiers

Especially My Children

I'm Not Dead

Not A Probate

Nor Is #FreeBritney

Just A Real Estate Property

Ponzi Scam Of Court

Victims Cry

Dr's & Lawyers Lied

At Riverside Healthcare System

Caging Mammas

Got their Bribed Ads

Reendacted

Off The Internet

Hooking Superstring

Match.com

Tinder Whores

There's A Reason

Why God Didn't

Bless You

With My Kids

There's A Reason

Mommy's Love

You Unconditionally

There's A Reason

Why Toddler Daughter's

Dance Gay

Daddies

Controlling Attys

Back To Me

There's A Reason

And We'll Whistleblow

There's A Reason

Your Gags Won't Grow

There's A Reason

We Choose

Harmony

Civil War Doulas

'Cuz What Is Hot

Honey

We Heard You

What Is Hot

Marilyn Monroe

#WeHeardYou

What Is Hot

Not The Gay DA

Who Abused Us

What Is Hot

Not

Nonce Charles

#PrinceOfPegging

Presidents

Killing Starter Wives

What Is Hot

Not Beatds

Mistresses

Pimping Presidents

On Crimes

What Is Hot

Our Forgotten

Queen's

Not Court Bribes

That Murder Thee

What Is Hot

Meghan Markle

What Is Hot

Anne Heche

What Is Hot

Naya Rivera

What Is Hot

Identifying As A Lesbian

Dr Bug

This Father's Day

Jessie Leads Our Pack Back

What Is Not

60 Thousand Gays

A Proud Parade

Stealing Our Kids

At Church Charities

What Is Hot

Attorneys Who Do

Their Jobs

What Is Hot

Dr's With Ethics

Morals

What Is Hot

Paris Hilton Closing

Down Her Highschool

Cage

Detention Center

Blowing Whistles

Daily

11:11

What Is Hot

Goop Telling

The Truth

What Is Not

Spin Dr's Mommy Hating

What Is Hot

Gwynny Unravelling

Uncoupling Court Crimes

Pimps of Gay Dad's

And Brothers

What Is Hot

Bringing Me My Kids

This Father's Day

For I Was The Beard

That Brought Home

The Bacon

And Built

Encinitasbeachhome.com

For This Crazed Jealous

Nation

What Is Hot

Settling With

James Bond

What Is Not

Getting Hooked

By Stirling Hoes

Of Court

What Is Hot

Peace Loving Daddies

What Is Hot

A Man Who Shows Up

Can Walk His Talk

Honor Word

Vows

And Song

- Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal

[mrs-nubenueve]

fem bokuaka headcanons

akaashi’s parents disapproved of volleyball. and, assuming fukurodani’s girls’ vbc doesn’t require that the members cut their hair, her parents didn’t let her cut her own despite akaashi’s personal wish to when she joined the team (yes, they very much disagree with their daughter’s more so “masculine” interests…why couldn’t she join the choir, instead? or learn to play the piano??)

^ there’s a lot of resentment there, of course

…that hair gets chopped off the second she turns 18

bokuto had asked her in hs, though, if she’d like for them to stage an accident: some gum in the hair, or a pair of scissors gone rogue….

ALSO, akaashi’s parents really don’t like bokuto. something about her being a bad influence.

the feeling is mutual.

after the time the vending machine gave her two goodies instead of one (and she gave the spare to her setter), bokuto made a habit of gifting akaashi little treats. she loved the unfamiliar expression of surprise on her face. how touched she seemed

akaashi wouldn’t eat these ^ at first (guess why…). she stored them away “for later.” when she finally caved and delved into the pile, she felt she was in heaven. she couldn’t tell what she liked best—salty, sweet, or the fact that they came from a certain someone.

bokuto beats her brothers up. it’s not at all the other way around.

bokuto’s parents were glad to have a baby girl to spoil with toys and pretty dresses and the like…but when they noticed how much fun she had getting into her brothers’ old toys, while maybe they felt a bit bummed out initially, they take the observation in stride and are happy their daughter is happy.

bokuto knew she was queer at a very young age but was not alarmed!

sure, her parents were when she said she wanted to be the knight who saved and got to marry the princess, but…again, they love and support their daughter.

bokuto’s real rough patch was the middle school experience…she intensely questioned gender at this point in time and volleyball became a strange sort of safe space…a sport she so often felt only obligated to participate in, but one where her body was not against her in any capacity and instead let her do amazing things…and it’s precisely this that helped her to realize herself.

akaashi knew about her preferences at a young age, too, but unfortunately, societal norms made her incredibly anxious and fearful about voicing her identity and desires. watching bokuto soar felt like both a blessing and a death sentence.

this ^ just means akaashi was an absolute menace when she rolled up to that college campus…the ladies love, love, love her.

^ as this insinuates, it took them ages to admit their feelings. but, come on, now. what did we expect of the lesbians?

akaashi went to washio for some senpai advice about what to do about the growing feelings of a hypothetical friend of hers…washio sees right through her but plays along. did akaashi follow the sound advice offered? (read: bullet points above.) no. she did not.

bokuto caught feelings for a straight girl once and it became everyone’s problem. especially akaashi’s.

bokuto = notorious track record of locker room experiences.

akaashi and kuroo are emo girls at heart

kenma doesn’t mind but bokuto = “oh my god they’re playing my chemical romance nicole you know i'm scared of emos!!”

but also it’s hot.

btw kenma uses she/they pronouns.

kenma will tolerate clothes shopping with akaashi. they both migrate to the long skirts, and kenma likes the quietness they can maintain.

bokuto has an obscene amount of cargo pants.

bokuto and kuroo have practiced kissing. this is true for them in all universes.

added 7.12.22 🌹

bokuto's knee-pad vibes transcend the court. she uses leggings like kiyoko's.

contrary to the vbc's belief, akaashi does not get confessed to on the regular. cishet men generally find her intimidating. good

meanwhile, bokuto and kuroo (who has made a sport of catfishing) have made a competition out of seeing who can get the most love letters...

^ this drives akaashi insane, as she's not sure if bokuto is obsessed with the letters because she feels something for the confessors or because of her competitive spirit. it's Bokuto Anomaly #???

one of the few times akaashi gets confessed to, it's by some incredibly tall, no-nonsense type fellow (imagine: an ushijima sort) ...and bokuto was unfortunate enough to witness it. emo mode? triggered to the max. why? she can't say. kuroo? gets called.

on the subject of emo mode...it's an incredibly sore point for bokuto. her moods constantly get attributed to "rag" jokes that get old real, real fast.

bokuaka study date sessions. yes, bokuto loves it when her kohai comes to her with questions or wanting to discuss a certain subject. but think of akaashi (who is aware of her feelings), when her senpai imparts to her a drop of wisdom...gay panic and her become the best of friends.

akaashi is indifferent to coffee because it's too varied, but she'll snort black tea any time, any day, any where.

akaashi's mom takes her out to buy some light makeup to try and introduce her daughter to some "womanly" interests...akaashi is intrigued, and the outing doesn't go too bad. when akaashi shows up the following week wearing a subtle, plum-tinted lipgloss, bokuto ceases to function. akaashi misunderstands and thinks bokuto doesn't like it :(

bokuto can't stop staring at her setter's lips but also feels guilty about objectifying her...

she apologizes for her staring and insists akaashi looks beautiful and should wear it more often

it's akaashi's turn to shut down.

[jonathanbiers]

longtime reader first time anon! in regards to the "steve doesn't know what a bisexual is" thing, I'm honestly going back and forth about whether ANYONE in a small town in the mid-eighties would be super familar with the concept — as a bisexual myself I am wondering. researching it hasn't come up with much, because while we know bisexuality was definitely developing as its own movement in queer urban spaces, how much of that permeated middle america?

hi, first of all i’m??? so flattered that you’ve read my stuff and stuck around to read more but anyway, getting to the subject of the discussion,

i mean i live in a small town but it’s not the 80s anymore and i was not alive then, so my perspective is still limited. but it’s definitely feasible to me that he’d be aware of the concept of bisexuality, whether or not he had the vocabulary for it.

but correct me if i’m wrong, we have evidence of him having an idea of the concept of bisexuality in the show when he reassures robin that vickie could still be interested, even if she had a boyfriend? and that smile at the end of vol 2 when he sees them interacting. that’s a “go best friend” smile if i’ve ever seen one, he sees her hitting it off. he knows she has a chance, even after they saw her kissing a guy

and if that’s not enough, david bowie was huge at the time and also known for liking both. this would definitely be talked about in a small town like that, even if it’s just to be derogatory(which lets be real it would) which makes it very hard for me to believe he’s never been exposed to the concept even if he’s repressed his own feelings, which is basically what you’re talking about in the third ask. i hope you don’t mind me condensing them all into one post btw jajdhjdnf

also speaking of your third ask, i’ve lived that too!! this discussion is not about me but i wanted to throw it in there. and my experience is obviously different, but. i spent a good chunk of my self discovery journey identifying as a lesbian when i was, in fact, a transmasc dealing with comphet all along. i repressed the fuck out of my attraction to guys even when i didn’t yet realize i was one. that’s a very very real thing. even while doing things that were (for me) a very obvious sign of attraction. also, if you’re a longtime enough reader to have been around before i abandoned the multi chapter steddie fic that i just haven’t deleted yet, that’s pretty much where i was going to go with that just for the record. him realizing he felt the attraction all along and just repressed it because of (he wouldn’t know the vocabulary but) comphet. not some weird “what do you mean, both?” robin handfeeding him the dictionary definition of bisexual thing that happens way to often in fics to even be funny anymore

which brings me to your second ask. who decided that robin “trips and stutters around pretty girls” buckley and eddie “super super senior dnd nerd plays his guitar so much he learns master of puppets in a couple of weeks” munson are the experts on queer history and would be the ones to explain to poor little dumb baby steve that he’s attracted to both like he’s not a big boy with more emotional intelligence and depth than A LOT of main male characters out there, and who can figure shit out his damn self? please. robin is…robin, we love her, but she’s not giving me “goes to gay bars in indianapolis” vibes. who’s taking her to these, anyway? she can’t drive. she’s underage. definitely not giving me “has a fake id” vibes, either. try and convince me robin “or rather my mouth moves faster than my brain” buckley could get past a club bouncer. and eddie, bless his heart(affectionate), whether you’re a virgin eddie truther or not, is not some sex god who knows everything about being gay and swoops in to share this privileged knowledge with steve. those fanfics, while a fun fantasy at first, are something i’m sick and tired of seeing at this point. and yet the damage is seemingly done, the fandom has just come to that consensus at this point.

[pomp-and-circumstance]

Episode 112.

Be still my heart. (AKA shit got real but first we’re going to talk about feelings.)

Jester checks in with Yasha about the death of Mollymauk and the revival of his body, which, in true Jester fashion, turns into her asking Yasha about Beau and her feelings. This was really interesting for me to watch because Jester witnessed Yasha tell everyone in the previous episode that the mirror “would be useful,” but once she insinuates they share a bed, without any kind of sexual vibe, Yasha turns into a flustered, stammering mess. Who better to gently lead Yasha through this than Jester herself, who immediately gets that there’s something deeper going on here than an interest in a one night thing. Her teasing playfulness turns into a beautiful kindness, and she gets to see, for the first time, the woman who fell in love once a long time ago.

There’s a lot of this that feels key for me here, and I haven’t had a lot of coffee this morning, but Imma try and get my thoughts in order anyway. 

Only two people in the Nein know the deep heartache Yasha suffers from losing Zuala: Caduceus and Jester. Jester watched the painful guilt slowly reveal itself from “you’re chosen a mate, but I fell in love with someone else” to “I don’t know where she’s buried, but I have so many flowers to bring her.” She’s watched Yasha suffer over and over again, but here she bears witness to something truly unique - Yasha overwhelmed with the butterflies in the stomach one gets when they really care. On top of all that, Yasha doesn’t know what to do, because of course she doesn’t know what to do. The only other relationship she had in her life had to be in secret. It’s kind of a wonder she’s admitting any of this to Jester in the first place, but that she’s doing so says a lot, and Jester doesn’t miss a moment of that. 

Enthusiastic Cheerleader Laura Bailey engages in some kind hearted teasing that basically oozes with it’s okay, Yasha, this is supposed to be fun energy. The two of them are suddenly teenagers at a sleepover talking about a crush and the best way to leave a note in their locker. “You don’t get nervous easily. If you’re getting flustered, that says something. Maybe I should leave.”

“No no! I don’t feel like I’m ready!”

“Okay! I’ll stay in the room!” (God bless you Jester, and your kindness.)

“... shit, I don’t know what to do!”

Watching Yasha discover that it’s okay to be vocal about these kinds of things is such an adventure. She’s so concerned with overstepping a boundary with Beau, but is too nervous to take a chance and see what that boundary even is, or if it even exists. (”I feel like I shouldn’t know this because it’s not from her, you know?... I just, she-she-she-she-she makes me so nervous.” This same woman tore the wings off Obann’s back.) Watching Jester try to hold back her excitement for her friends is like watching a hyperactive puppy run in the park for the first time. It’s such a complete disaster of a conversation that is so relatable and almost awkward to watch until Yasha opens up and becomes just that much more vulnerable.

“She makes me sweaty and, like, warm and fuzzy at the same time, and then I see her do things and them I’m just like, I want to--I want to kiss her so bad. And then that makes me feel kinda bad.”

I had to stop and think about this for a second because the first thing that came to mind was, of course, some kind of Dope Monk Shit Beau had done in the past that would make Yasha think this, but if she’s so adamant that her role is to protect, I don’t feel like she’d let something like that distract her in the heat of battle. (I may be proven wrong later, who knows, I’m mostly saying I don’t think she’d grab Beau in the middle of the BBEG fight and kiss her or anything.) What I immediately thought of after, though, was the previous episode when Beau was trying to line things out to the Nein about her theories regarding the Nine Eyes. There’s a moment where Beau is being praised, and Yasha with a bit of awe in her voice goes, “That’s a breakthrough.” It’s so simple and so easily missed in the moment. (I believe Beau immediately turns it around on her and says she deserves credit for a point she made, which Yasha immediately deflects and says she didn’t come up with nearly the amount of theories Beau did.) I think Yasha is holding far more than awe in that moment. I think that’s a peek into a moment she wishes she could have kissed her, shown some kind of affection, something, to show how proud she is of Beau.

So, at the end, when she says “that makes me feel kinda bad,” I don’t think she’s talking about a leftover something with Zuala - though maybe she is, and that’s valid, she’s always going to love Zuala and moving on with grief is painful and hard, even if you’ve told yourself it’s okay to - I think she genuinely doesn’t know what to do, and open affection with someone isn’t something she’s used to doing, but on top of that, I also wonder if it means she doesn’t want to be quiet with Beau, in the sense that she doesn’t want to hide how she feels. She doesn’t want another romance with secrecy, she wants to be able to love loudly, and she might have permission, so to speak, to do that, but that doesn’t mean she knows what to do with it.

Going back to Laura for a second - watching her in this conversation is so interesting because I think she caught Ashley totally unprepared for a conversation like this, which is why parts of it are so awkward and why they’re giggling throughout a portion of it. (I don’t think she did it maliciously, I think she’s being Jester and Jester would be this forthright and Ashley was just like “well shit, here we go!”) Jester is trying to be a wingman in the way only Jester can be, and when it’s clear Yasha’s anxiety comes from nerves, she drops this beautiful nugget that’s got a lot of Jester but a lot of Laura, too:

“Yasha, you can’t feel guilty for how you feel. If she makes you feel happy, that’s a wonderful thing. That’s so rare.”

Laura’s face gets me every time. She’s digging into a deep place here, and she’s doing it gently. Someone made you happy once before, Yasha. You know what this feels like. You have a chance to have it again.

“It is so rare.”

And with three sentences, the entire dynamic of the conversation changes.

Yasha suddenly takes charge of this thing and starts making suggestions to Jester, telling her she feels like she’s been given a lot of confidence, “maybe stay in the room so it doesn’t seem obvious, I’ll sleep on the floor tonight and I’ll figure it out.” Sure doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t know what to do to me. (I mean, it does, but you know what I'm saying.) Then, after being so nervous about knowing something she felt like she should have heard from Beau, Jester assures her “that’s not the vibe I got” and she runs with it. “It’s not? Ok ok.” She’s suddenly got some confidence in this tangle of nerves, but at least she’s going to make an attempt to do something about it.

(Marisha has a face here that kills me, btw, after Jester says Yasha should talk to Beau, and Yasha says yeah, it’s best to talk to the source:

“The source is waiting, babe, I got time.”)

Speaking of Marisha, her facial journey during this poem workshop is an experience best had on your own time. Screenshots can’t do it justice. I’m going to take one image and make it my phone’s background without any context, ‘cause “eyes so blue and hair so shorn on the sides” makes her lose her shit.

(Bonus Taliesin, who can’t even.)

What I didn’t realize, though, is how quickly Beau comes back into the room after this talk between Beau and Jester, which means Ashley has only moments to really push Yasha Nydoorin of Seven Charisma, and like the badass she is, she’s got it totally under control from the first flustered “Hello!”

Because understanding your feelings and coming to terms with them about someone else is one thing. Excecution, however... is something else entirely. And while playing a suave personality that can charm the socks off anyone is fun, going to that place where you stammer and talk too much and nothing makes sense is so much more endearing. It makes the little moments where you get things “right,” so to speak, so much more. And so much more to launch off of, as Yasha immediately caves back into that place when she realizes she reached out and touched the glitter on Beau’s face, oh shit, I don’t know what to do, umm, I’m tired I guess.

(Bonus Laura, who is so proud of Yasha for being bold and basically needs a Beauyasha membership card that reads 0001/2 at this point.)

But keep in mind, this flustered nonsense isn’t just from Yasha, it’s also from Beau, who, while a little tipsy, has zero liquid courage in this moment and is just as much a stammering mess as Yasha herself is. Even more noteable is when Yasha makes a joke about “schnuggling”... Beau is almost ready to take Yasha up on that offer. “I mean, I--” is Marisha’s exact quote before Yasha backpedals and says she’s kidding. (Yet another tiny example of Marisha letting Ashley take the lead, whether it was intentional or not.) Confident Beau who oozed with sexual prowess becoming an actual disaster under the flirtatious radar of Yasha is my favorite thing in the world. That was probably the longest space of time between waking and sleeping for either of them, and Jester got to bare witness to all of their growth in its beautiful, awkward, “oh god, just schnuggle already” glory.

Taliesin is the real MVP here, who said what I’ve been thinking every time I’ve watched highlights of this part, but didn’t know it actually happened until now, “I assume they all take a point of exhaustion because none of them sleep. Just lie there.”

Even Travis, Honorary Beauyasha Membership Card holder number 0001/2, is in on it.

I adore everything about this scene. We all need a little dash of disaster lesbians in our lives. It’s gonna be okay, you two. I promise.

[celestialholz]

Celestial Live-Reacts: STP 2.7, 'Monsters'

... If this isn't Tapestry 2, I'm fucking writing Tapestry 2.

Off we go!

"The true sovereign of nature..." quite the enigmatic speech from someone I have never seen and looks rather like Julian Bashir

... God, I miss Bashir 😔

Sorry, "you WERE a human?" Excuse me????

He's claustrophobic! Bless him ❤

"The man who hates enclosed spaces spends his life in the infinite cosmos" - yeah, sounds about right. Heaven forbid we get this man some therapy and he actually DEALS with shit, can you imagine 😂

"You're not very interesting." 😆 "I'm really quite dull", anyone?

"Even your closest friends call you 'captain'"... wow. English psychologist Q is a dick.

... You know when you're so repressed that even your own BRAIN gives you an innate therapist who sounds far too much like that one god you really like? 🙃

He's so uncomfortable 😭

... Thank you, CBS, for that image of Picard holding a sun. I have exactly the fanfic to put that in. 😍

"Once upon a time, there was a queen with fiery red hair... and she was female." 😂😂 Fucking hell. Reason #383048 why Jean-Luc shouldn't have kids

This is why he likes reading, bless 😍

"There is no better teacher than one's enemy" - true, if you're ridiculous enough to consider him your enemy 🙄

"... To lift them up with inspiring speeches." "I'll never be able to do that." Oh, you of little faith 😍

... The monsters are real? Spidey sense? 🤔

His mother is also a speechmaker! Of course she is ❤

... Oh fuck 🙃

Titles! More lady writers!

Ah, hello my dears ❤

"If that whole thing starts up again, I'm quitting the gang" 😂

"Everyone loves us", "we're the main event"... fourth wall whom 🤣

... This isn't Tapestry 2, is it 😒

Admiral = done

"There's a thousand ways to die out there", mmm... "It's not safe out here", anyone?

Estonia is playing 80s kids' show Knightmare, for anyone who likes a niche reference ✊

What IS this monster thing? Am I in a Doctor Who episode that stars Patrick Stewart? 🤔

"You may terminate your session now"? "Something else is happening here?" Whaaaaaat

"We're all here for you, Picard..." 🤔 I get it, they are, but they're self-aware. His brain's screaming at him. Never mind Q, this guy's Vic Fontaine 😂

"Perpetually untethered in ways of the heart"... oh fuck, this IS Tapestry 2 isn't it, just more allegorical... and without Q 😒

"A secret shame... something you're afraid others will see..." ... Oh, wow. They really went there, huh. 😂

"STOP!" And that is what gets him. Damn, that is telling...

"... And you don't know how it ends..." What's behind the white door, huh? Because shit, a girl could speculate for days...

Can't help but notice that of all the costumes they could have given Babycard, he's got a suspiciously familiar white, ribbed tunic on... 🙃

Oh shit, bye Estonia 😂

She shuts her son's helmet against the swearing 😂 Theresa's great ❤

... This is some serious Doctor Who shit. Doctor Who has a vibe, and this episode has it in spades

Poor Theresa 😂

Try something new, kid ❤

"I just WORK in outer space" 😆

... Just realised that Estonia's more a concerned mum/aunt here, and I quite like it? She suits this sort of thing much more. She's seemed cold and strictly business outside Renee, but this offers her a sweet little niche, and therefore already more personality than her counterpart.

Soft Lesbian Intermission 😍

Seven is a coffee fan - wonder who she got that from 🙃😂

... "My ready room"? Really?

IT'S HIS DAD. Dear lord... and I thought he was quite Q-like... 👀 Wrong sort of daddy 😂

"You ruined her, you broke her" - another mirror of Tapestry, where we found out his father makes him distinctly uncomfortable 👀

Tunnels... thousands of ways to die down there...

... There's no monster. "Couldn't save her either... not from her own mind." 😭 I'm a massive fan of this. This gives his father dimension he's never been credited with, and another reason for Picard to be traumatised - not only does he have to get over the fact that the mother he loved dearly wasn't quite sane, but the fact that he's had no way to turn to his father and try and work through that, because he didn't know how to process it either. And Babycard didn't get that, has placed the blame on him all his life. ❤ Maurice still seems harsh and strict, but clearly, he cared. ❤

Lovely piano version of the series one theme here 😍

"You'll do so much, one day. You'll save worlds." Aunt Estonia is a new take and I'm here for it 😍

They're back... BUT WHAT IS THAT DOOR? 🤔 That's so Picard. We see such great insights, but never the true him. The 'secret shame'. 👀 It can't be so simple as sexuality, surely, or that sense of rebellion that permeated through the original Tapestry... can it? That door's going to be key...

... Rios is staying here isn't he ❤

"Picard feels like a father to me... even though I'm not a son to him." Much like Maurice feels like Jean-Luc's father, yeah? *holds up mirror once again*

These two are lovely 😍

'Hey babe, son, check out Daddy's cool spaceship' 😂 Okay, maybe they're going with him

"Jurati, with a side of Borg Queen" - yes my good waiter, I'll take ten 😂

... Wow. More hot women who sing well. 👁👄👁

What did that bloody window ever do to you 😆

"You saved her" - did you, though?

She IS Romulan!

"All of that was part of Q's plan, that you experience those memories." ... Whoa whoa whoa, he meant for this? Meant him to get run over and everything? 👀 Q is a master of engineering, my god 😍

... Also, yeah - Tapestry without Q, but not really. He's behind that white door isn't he 😆

"I've been letting him control... what if the lesson I take is: know HIM?" Imagine that Jean-Luc, bothering to work out Q's motivations early. Could not be you 😂

... No, but really. Finally, he's making some form of connection; finally, he's starting to work out that Q's doing this for him. Thought we'd never fucking get here 😂

"I always take Q as unknowable... but here he is, so late in my life, STILL fixated on me!" Yes...

"He needs this trial to happen, but... he's saying it's about me, but it's deeply personal and urgent to him..." YES...

"And if we understand why that is, then we can go on offence!" ... NO 😒 Fuck's sake Picard... never have I been more frustrated with a character I love so dearly. You were so close! 😭

Also, shall we have a fucking quick think on why, Jean-Luc? Just for a moment? Because jesus christ, is it not PAINFULLY OBVIOUS 🙃

... This is so indolent it's almost out of character. Picard is not a man driven by emotion, but at this point, it's the just the logical conclusion. *soft Celestial scream*

"Sounds like you want to summon Q... flattered, but that's beyond my capabilities." "Yours, maybe, but..."

Guinan, ladies, gentlemen and lovelies: for all your omnipotence-summoning needs 😂

... He didn't even ask. Dear god. 😂

El-Aurians and the Continuum had a truce????

'Denizen'??? Do the Q live with others? Whaaaat? That's lore chaps 👁👄👁

"I'm not going to call them gods, that's for damn sure" 😂 And she'd know, apparently...

Food and drink unites El-Aurians, hence the bars! Beautiful 😍

... Wow. Q drinking Earl Grey when meeting Adam hits different now 😆❤

Also, my thanks to CBS again - every time I've had Q drinking ludicrous cocktails in my fics is now officially validated 😂

"Every action vibrates, every word has resonance... metal and liquid can capture the half-life of a moment, so when I say the truce was made over a bottle..." Okay, a. prose is delightful 😍 and b. this is why she hates Q isn't it, because he ignores that shit and does what he likes 😂

Does that make this... the Treaty of Alcoholeron? 😏 Yeah, don't mind me... I'll just be going over here... to laugh 😂

"El-Aurians hear the world like music" 😍

Hurricane in a bottle, oh god 😆

... And he's... not here. 👀

"It didn't... work." Ohhh. Ohhh no.

So he's either ignoring it... or he's cut off from the Continuum. Can't be good, can it? 😭

... Not to be that guy, but Picard is too slow, and Q's in too deep... and even this hasn't made him get it. This thing that has been engineered specifically for him to get it. This is going to be Picard's cartharsis; Q dying for him is going to be what it takes for him to WAKE UP. I swear to all that's fucking holy, I hope I'm wrong... and I hope they fucking fix that shit in series three when I'm not... 😡

"An El-Aurian summons a Q, a Q appears." ... Who the fuck's this guy, then? Wrong Q? 🤔

Go on...

... Ah, shit. Not a Q, then. 😂

He's dropped his badge...

... Okaaaaay, and breathe...

Celestial Rating: 6.5/10.

This episode is a fucking trip. Beautifully imagined and realised, but I do not enjoy where this is going... and I do not enjoy Picard being this ignorant. 🙄

[red1culous]

Temperance

A/N: Anon asked for Villain!Reader. Also what is proofreading, I’ll do it later. Being this close to some form of divine power instilled in you a kind of calm that you had never experienced before. You weren’t a religious person at all but the emotions that you felt in empty churches was soothing and a welcomed contrast to the chaos of your daily life. Sometimes you would sit in silence for hours on end staring into space. You stayed until you could feel the thrum of hundreds of years of prayers that echoed off the hallowed walls of that sacred space. The blessings of whispered prayers enveloping and filling you with a sense of serenity. Sitting on the front pews as if acting as a witness to something you let your mind drift and wander, a meditative exercise that you had grown accustomed to.

Natasha knows you’re in there and she does her best to enter silently. But she knows you’ve heard her by the slight stiffening of your shoulders. Natasha is so attuned to you that every subtle movement you make is noted and she makes sure to keep a good distance away. You remain calm but ready to sprint at the slightest sign of trouble. She doesn’t want you to leave. Not yet at least. She was intrigued by you and it was something she was unable to control. There was an automatic response she felt to your presence. Some kind of weird push and pull towards you. The way her body would instinctively move in your direction with helpless longing was not something she could fight against. There were warning bells going off in her head but in spite of her heart she was powerless to do anything but remain entangled in this dangerous dance of desire. 

She decides to sit one row behind you. Not too far away but not too close either. “You waiting for God?” Natasha speaks softer than she usually would.

“I think you’re mistaking this for a Samuel Beckett play” you answer and Natasha can see you’re smiling by the slight raise of the apples of your cheeks.

Natasha leans forward in her seat. “Do you think God has stood you up?”

You chuckle at her words shaking your head slightly. “Who says I’m waiting for God?”

“Well…,” Natasha sighs as she fiddles with the necklace dangling around her neck, “…I’m pretty sure sitting in an empty church at 3am means you’re looking for some kinda divine intervention.” 

You turn your head slightly, searching her face. “Hmm I wonder Ms. Romanoff…could you be my divine intervention?” “I just tend to gravitate towards people…women…who want the same thing I do” she replies with a blush on her cheeks.

“Which is what exactly?” you continue as you turn your body completely to face hers.

“To have a good time. Some laughs. A lot of good sex.” She smiles wide at the last part and you smile watching her face light up.

“So you’re a player?” you add and she shoots you a nervous look. 

“They used to say in the Red Room that everybody without God is lonely.”

“So...,” you say rubbing at your chin as if deep in thought, “are we talking about God or are we talking about us?” 

“I’m just saying that everyone at some point of their lives is lonely. And there’s no shame in wanting to be with someone else to ease that loneliness…” she trails off making it sound like she had more to say but decided against it. 

“Are you…are you propositioning me, Romanoff?” you chuckle again, “…in a church no less?”

She ducks her head before raising her eyes to meet yours. The smile that graces her lips seem more genuine than any you’ve seen before. But you had to remind yourself that this was the Black Widow you were dealing with. Mistress of trickery and not someone to be taken lightly. “Kinky but no,” she answers after a beat or two, “I’m saying you should come with me.”

“Take me out to dinner first” you reply a smirk fixed on your face.

She laughs full and loud and the sound reverberates around you. “I mean, Y/N…that I can protect you if you come with me now.”

“Do you trust me?” you ask out of topic. You can tell she’s slightly taken aback by the question. 

“Y-yes I do.” She answers and you can hear the hesitation that laces her words. 

“Close your eyes.”

“What?” 

“Close your eyes…let’s call it a test of trust. If you trust me, close your eyes.” You challenge her raising an eyebrow. 

She considers you with a steely gaze. Then she takes a deep breath, straightens her back and closes her eyes. You wait for a few seconds. Maybe it was to convince yourself that she was really doing this. That Natasha Romanoff was sat in front of you with her eyes closed? Once you are satisfied you rise quietly and lean over the pews. You move your face closer to hers and when you are mere inches apart you wait one more time. You can feel her breath hot on your face and you’re certain she can feel yours. Then slowly you close the gap and leave a kiss on her lips. You can feel her flinch a little but she stays still and you linger, your lips on hers  a few seconds more before pulling away. Just before completely retreating you say onto her lips, “keep your eyes closed” as you lay something heavy in her lap. Just before exiting the church you look back at her one more time. Her eyes are still closed and you smile to yourself. Perhaps you would let her in. You swing the heavy wooden doors and noisily let yourself out. 

Natasha opens her eyes and turns to face the doors. She half expected you to come with her but she also knew you would probably decline her offer. She was however not prepared for the kiss you left. She touches her lips and like a teenager in love a small smile blooms on them. In her ear she hears static before the voice of Clint Barton booms loud and clear. “I guess we didn’t get her this time eh, Romanoff?”

Natasha looks up to one of the gargoyles perched high up on the pointed arches. She spots the archer and shakes her head.

“There’s always a next time. We’ll get her then.” He says shouldering his bow and climbing down trying to sound as optimistic as ever. 

“Mmm next time” Natasha says to herself as she stands and waits for Barton to approach. She fingers the package you left her. 

“I don’t get it,” he says trotting up to her side. He takes the package depositing it into his rucksack, “why would she go through the trouble of stealing that just to hand it back to you?”

“You know what Clint, I’ll ask her the next time we meet” she replies slightly annoyed.

Static returns to her ears. 

“I think it’s love” Tony chips in, in between a fit of giggles. “Shut it the both of you” she replies as Clint sniggers at the remark earning himself a shove and a sharp look from the former assassin. 

----

Tagging: @jumbojamba47​  @natasharomanoffismywife​  @imnotasuperhero​  @cybeleceto​  @silverwing2522​  @thelastavenger-3000​  @peggycarter-steverogers​  @rooskaya-yelena​  @blackwidowromonoff​  @lesbian-x-blackwidow​  @nowthisisliving27​   @izalesbean​  @aaron-despair​  @marvelfansince08love​  @rileigh519​  @wannabe-fic-reader​  @hcartbyheart​  @marvel-randomness​ @thewitchandtheassassin​  @username23345​  @xixxiixx​   @rebeliz777​  @summergeezburr​  @frostedfavesmain​ 

[aftgficlibrary]

Are there any AUs where renison or lailalverez is the main pairing?

there are quite a few but here you go -maz

renison:

Before All I Heard Was Silence by moonqueerdom (T | 7,430 | 1/1)

Allison's eyes widened and her face burned immediately, spreading to her neck and the tips of her ears. "Oh my gosh, Renee," she lowered her face and covered it with her hands.

Renee chuckled. "She is beautiful when she blushes, ok noted."

"Oh my gosh, Walker, stop that," Allison's voice was too wobbly and high-pitched even for her own ears, and there was a grin threatening to pop on her lips.

~

About to disappear in the afterlife, Allison Reynolds meets Renee Walker, who was ready to change her life even after death.

Last Café by uberimmortal (M | 4,802 | 1/1)

Like every weekend for the past year, Renee finds herself on a Saturday morning in front of the Last Cafe. She takes a deep breath, key still in her hand, shivering from the autumn breeze as she tries to muster up some energy to open the door. The sun is just beginning to poke over the horizon, lighting up the city in a blue haze, not close enough to this side of the earth to provide any real warmth. One by one street lamps flicker until they turn off completely.

The Gracekeepers by wishbonetea (M | 112,116 | 20/20)

The sea has flooded the earth. Allison lives on a circus boat, floating between the scattered islands that remain and trading dazzling and death-defying feats for food from the islanders. Renee lives alone in a lighthouse in the middle of the ocean, with only the birds and fish for company. As penance for her past, she works as a gracekeeper, tending the graves of those who die at sea. A storm brings them together, but under clear skies they must part. When one of the Foxes goes missing, Renee joins to help. It’s meant to be a temporary escape, but Allison might be a reason to stay.

⁂

An AU of Kirsty Logan's The Gracekeepers.

she's got lips like wine not sugar by IzzyAguecheek (Not Rated | 8,561 | 1/1)

The coffee shop was mostly empty the first time Allison came in. It was too early for most people, specially on a Sunday, when most people didn’t have work and therefore didn’t need to stop by to grab a coffee to wake up. Allison, however, didn’t strike Renee as the type of girl to drink coffee before a shift at some boring company. She looked more like someone who had stayed up all night and now was trying to fight off a hangover with caffeine.

Dan was late, per usual, so Renee and Andrew were the only employees working. Andrew took one look at the car parked outside, right in front of the window, and firmly turned his back on the girl sitting at the corner booth.

“You take that one”, he decided.

(or: Renee works at a coffee shop, and, when Allison becomes a regular there, she is absolutely in love. It's just a Renison Coffee Shop AU.)

counting my blessings by quensty (T | 10,354 | 1/1)

The last letter is from Wymack.

Allison, it says. Forest Falls, California, has been having problems with a robber. Dan and Matt are too far, and Neil and Andrew are already working a job in Nevada. Get on it. -DW

“Motherfucker,” Allison says.

Real Gravity by loose_canon (T | 1,723 | 1/1)

RECORDED 04:08, PILGRIMAGE YEAR 1584 DAY 29

[begin message]

Hey, Mom. You’re probably watching this and thinking about how much you want to kick my ass right now. Well, my butt, because you don’t say words like “ass,” much less think them. Anyway, I know you’re mad at me. I’m the ungrateful daughter who hijacked an emergency pod and zipped off into space in the middle of the eclipse service like a dumbass—sorry, dumbbutt—with another girl because I just had to go and open myself to the spirit of lesbianism. I’m not gonna lie, I’m mad just like you are. Part of me wants to just say that the spirit is a good fucking time and be on my way. But I need you need to know that I’m losing something, too.

A sci-fi one shot: Allison leaves a final message for her mother after she and Renee escape the generation ship they grew up on.

On Dragon's Wings (Under the Blue) by tinystreetlamp  (T | 8,417 | 3/3)

For hundreds of years the six kingdoms coexisted in peace due to a magical contract that prevents violence between them. Ever since Allison's brother Jean was kidnapped by Riko she has wanted to lead her armies to war against the Island of Night, but the contract prevents her from doing so. When crown prince Nathaniel arrives and asks for sanctuary, Allison sees her chance to unite four of the kingdoms against Riko and rain down her vengeance upon him.

(How to seduce a pirate: drag her underwater unexpectedly)

/Graphic Depictions of Violence

vengeance and death by cthulu_sun (M | 2,446 | 1/1)

legend says you have wax-dipped wings and golden fingernails and knives made of the blood you have spilled. legend says you are not merciful.

-

in which renee is a tired guardian angel, finds the foxes, and falls in love.

a hundred jewels on throats by ghvsts (T | 3,226 | 1/1)

"have you seen the goddess from the seafoam," they whisper, "she is more beautiful than anything."

(in which seth is ares, renee is persephone, and allison has had enough)

fabrication of a grand scheme by cloudghost (T | 13,787 | 1/1)

Renee was silent for a while. Then, finally, she said, “I want to try going outside.”

“I thought you were scared.”

She hummed her assent. “That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it.”

Since that was basically the philosophy Allison lived by, she nodded. Renee turned back around and met Allison’s gaze. In that moment, Renee looked unbreakable and unshakeable, like nothing that ended up in her way could ever stop her for long. Allison shivered.

Love You a Latte by ceilingfan5 (G | 8,465 | 1/1)

Allison's favorite barista is adorable Renee, so when she gets the news that she has to go on a terrible family vacation and bring an "appropriate plus-one", she decides to finally get herself uninvited from the rest of those events for all eternity. She and Renee go together, pretending to be a very much in love couple, stir shit up, and leave a lot closer than they ever expected. (Obviously they fall in love.) Allison may say "I decided love was fake a long time ago and it’d take a miracle to change my mind now,” but if anyone can be a miracle worker, it's Renee.

say you'll never harden to the world by orphan_account (T | 10,300 | 1/1)

Of course it’s when the knife finally doesn’t feel awkward in her hand anymore that Allison shows up.

Instead of the relaxed way she usually holds her wings, they’re pulled taut behind her back. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest and there’s a decidedly not pleased look on her face.

“Hey,” Natalie says, not interrupting the sequence of stabbing moves she’s been practicing. She has no time for the way seeing Allison makes her feel.

Safe – a joke. Not alone – Allison might not even be real. Cared about – impossible.

Those kinds of emotions aren’t meant for someone like her in the first place, and she’s not going to indulge them.

give me shelter or show me heart by hondayota (Not Rated | 4,720 | 3/3)

Renee had always thought of hope as a feeling, something she scraped out of her insides when she had nothing else to hold onto, but over the past months, hope had ceased to be a feeling and had become synonymous with Allison Reynolds.

or

the renison zombie au no one asked for

or

renee and allison are hella gay even when there's zombies

laila/alvarez:

It's Called Fashion Hunty. Look it up. by theKristastrophe (T | 15,440 | 8/8)

Sara works for a company that she doesn't hate but doesn't love either. So she sits at the bar with her two other best friends and tries to get through the work week.

When a fresh lawyer stumbles into thier weekly Rant Club, Sara knows she's in for a wild ride.

Featuring gratious eyerolling, snark, and everyone's favorite Foxes.

Buckle up kiddies. It's time to Sashay, Sashay, Sashay...

Come Close by tinystreetlamp (T | 10,932 | 1/1)

Sometime around 200 BC in Ancient Greece, in a world where the greek gods are real, Laila is a warrior from Sparta. During her first visit to Athens she meets not only Jeremy of Troy but also falls head over heels in love with Sara, a daughter of Apollo and local poet. But Sara is cursed, and soon the three cross the Mediterranean on a quest to break the curse and save Sara.

Sara means Sun by tinystreetlamp (M | 27,739 | 8/8)

Five years ago, ships with black and red sails appeared on the horizon and wiped out all of the royal family - except one. The Raven King conquered Coralia and is doing everything he can to stay in power. Jeremy of Troia, the rightful heir to his kingdom, has been in hiding for the past five years, but he found something worth fighting for.

Laila, an Elven Warrior and Jeremy's best friend, will do anything to protect him. Meeting a cute stranger isn't going to change that.

/Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

[adhd-disaster-willie]

you’re the one that brings the sun; chapter 5/6

chapter 1, 2, 3, 4

warnings: swearing

word count: 2,757

notes: okay so this update took a while because I’ve been busy with school and writers block has been kicking my ass, but I think it’s worth it :)))

---

It was established in August that at least once a month, Alex will receive a phone call informing him to be at Julie’s house in ten minutes for a mandatory slumber party. It’s endearing sure, but he would like some sort of warning other than Luke calling him and saying that if he doesn’t show up as soon as possible, he’ll paint his drumsticks neon green. So that’s how Alex ends up sitting cross legged on Julie’s bed, putting Reggie’s hair into a bunch of tiny braids and watching The Princess Diaries for what’s probably the hundredth time. 

“Lilly is definitely a lesbian,” Flynn says through a mouthful of popcorn. 

Alex hums in agreement and Julie nods. “If only this movie weren’t made in 2001,” Julie says mournfully.

“Y’know I always thought that Joe was gay,” Alex admits. “Up until he dances with the queen.”

Reggie attempts to look up at Alex, earning an offended squeak from the latter. “Really?”

“Yes, now will you please stay still, I only have one more left.”

“Ok but there is no way Mia’s mom is straight!” Flynn says.

Julie seems to mull it over for a bit. “She does live in an old fire station. And artists are never straight.”

“Yea, like Willie!” Luke pipes up, sitting up from his position hanging halfway off the bed. “Willie’s not straight.”

“We should start a betting pool on how long it takes for Luke to bring up Willie,” Alex mumbles, his cheeks flushing pink. He ties off Reggie’s final braid and pats his head approvingly. “You look like a real princess.”

“Do I?” Reggie grins up at him with a bit of a twinkle in his eye and Alex chuckles. 

“No subject changing,” Luke protests. “How’s Willie doing?”

“Still a pining idiot,” Flynn answers with a cheeky smile. 

“I’m trying to watch the movie.” Alex shoves at Luke’s face and slides down off the bed to sit on the floor beside Reggie. 

“You’ve seen this movie a million times,” Luke points out. He leans down so his head is hanging off the edge of the bed and smirks mischievously at Alex, who is pointedly refusing to look at him. “Aleeeex,” Luke whines. “Don’t be a buzzkill.”

“Alice, please,” Flynn says. Alex shoots her a look seeping with betrayal and Flynn raises their hands defensively. “I haven’t seen Carrie in a few days!” They protest. “I need drama.”

“Drama?” Alex asks. “Or blackmail material?”

Flynn shrugs, which only serves to cement what Alex was thinking. “Yea, nope. It’s not like anything has even happened since-” He cuts himself off, realizing his mistake and preparing for the onslaught of questions. 

“Since!?” Luke cries. “Since what?!” He grabs Alex’s face roughly and looks at him with wide eyes. “Since what, Alex?”

“Nothing!” Alex squeaks, wrenching himself from Luke’s grasp. “Nothing! It was- let go of my fanny pack! Julie stop filming!!!” Alex swats at Luke’s hands and attempts to leap forward to grab Julie’s phone, but ultimately fails. 

“I’ll let go if you tell me,” Luke teases in a sing song voice, his grin only growing the more Alex fights. 

“Fine! If you just- sorry Reg the puppy-dog eyes only work on Luke and Bobby.” Reggie sighs in disappointment and Alex finally manages to get Luke off of him, huffing angrily and brushing nonexistent dust from his hoodie. “You’re a barbarian,” he mutters.

“Well?” 

Alex responds to Julie’s prompting with a long-suffering sigh. “You have to promise not to make fun of me,” he says. They don’t promise. The movie is long forgotten as Alex’s friends gather around him, looking all too fascinated by his latest embarrassment. “He well… don’t laugh, ok. He wore a crop top last week and I tripped on my own feet and scraped up my knees.”

Flynn raises an eyebrow. “Nuh uh, there’s more, spill.”

Alex groans, burying his face in his hands. “They got all worried and started putting bandaids on my knees and I almost fainted. Then- please don’t make me say this,” Alex pleads, looking to Julie as if she’s his last hope. She shakes her head. “When they finished lecturing me I just looked at him and said ‘nice shirt’ and ran off. Nice shirt??? What is wrong with me?”

“Wait a minute,” Julie says, gesturing for Alex to pause. “You just… ran off? Where?”

Alex doesn’t say anything. 

“I’ll paint your drumsticks if you don’t tell us,” Luke threatens. The difficulty is that Alex doesn’t doubt him one bit, and knows that Julie has a healthy supply of paint in a drawer just a few feet away from Luke. 

Alex mumbles something under his breath and Reggie pokes him. 

“Sorry what was that? Speak up.”

“Orange, I’ll paint them the ugliest shade of orange ever.”

“I went and hid in my closet!” Alex blurts. “For like an hour. I am never going to live that down.”

“That’s… incredibly ironic,” Julie laughs. 

“I’m telling that story at your wedding.”

“Reginald, don’t even think about it!” Alex kicks Reggie lightly and raises his hand to flip off the other three, who are all dying of laughter. “I hate all of you. I need new friends.”

“Good luck with that.” Flynn pats Alex’s head; he can practically hear their stupid smirk. 

“Fuck off.”

“No.”

---

Alex wakes up with his foot in Luke’s face, one arm thrown over Julie, his face in Reggie’s neck, and a very giggly Flynn perched on the end of the bed taking pictures. He sits up and murmurs sleepily, squinting in the oddly hazy room.

It’s gray and gloomy outside, quite fitting for mid-November, but far from Alex’s ideal weather. He’s always been partial to spring, when it’s not too hot and not too cold and not always cloudy and sad. 

Flynn hops off the bed and onto Julie’s chair, where she spins a couple times before turning her phone to show Alex. “This is gonna be my new lockscreen,” they giggle. Alex stares at the photo, baffled as to how his arm was bent like that. 

Breakfast is heaps of pancakes and fresh coffee (bless you, Ray) that for a moment, Alex considers just dumping over his head. Julie is curled around Luke for warmth throughout the whole morning and Flynn makes a point to gag at least once every 5 minutes. Alex knows she’s happy for them though, they finally got their act together a little over a week ago and at least this is better than the pining. Alex doesn’t say that though, because it will only get him a lecture on how he is not one to talk about pining. 

Alex almost thanks a god he doesn’t believe in anymore when the rain outside doesn’t seem to make any moves into thunderstorm territory. Willie hates thunderstorms. He stays cocooned in a blanket until noon, but eventually Tía Victoria shoos them all out, claiming that Julie will never finish her homework with them all glued to her. 

Alex is sopping wet when he finally arrives at his dorm, sadly no car can go right up to the entrance of the dorms. The first thing Alex notices when he walks in is the candles, and the second thing is the haphazardly thrown together fort in the middle of the room, which he narrowly avoids tripping over. “Willie?” He asks, lifting what he assumes to be the entrance and raising an eyebrow at Willie, who is grinning at him and shining a flashlight in his face.

“Ok, get that out of my eyes.” Alex clamps a hand over the light and Willie sticks his tongue out. “Did the power go out?” Alex asks, worry etching over his face. He can’t have all their food being ruined, with Alex living off his coffee shop job and Willie off of the occasional commission and odd check from his eccentric uncle. 

Willie shakes their head. “Nope.”

“So why the… candles?”

“It’s fun!” Willie pulls Alex into the fort, stumbling back and just barely evading them toppling over each other into a quite compromising position. Willie presses his back against the couch and pats the space next to him. “It’s like you’re a little kid again.”

“Luke used to love making forts,” Alex admits. “We would move all the furniture in his living room and make the absolute worst blanket forts you can imagine. Like seriously, it’s no wonder none of us went into architecture.”

“Really? I can totally see you as an architect”

“That’s…”

“I’m joking, hotdog,” Willie giggles, bumping their shoulder together. He has a tendency to raise his eyebrows when he’s amused; Alex finds it all too endearing. Accompanied with the way their eyes crinkle when the laugh and the soft candlelight leaking through the thin blankets and draping over his features, Alex thinks he’s having trouble breathing. 

“I was drawing you, y’know,” Willie says softly after a few minutes of silence.

“Hmm?”

“The day we went stargazing, I was drawing you. You’re- you’re a good muse.”

“Oh.” Alex’s stomach flutters. “I uh… thank you.” He gives Willie a hesitant smile before turning to focus on the flickering light. His breath feels weighted, like every exhale means something, but he can’t quite pinpoint what. There’s a light breeze whistling through the crack in the door and Alex closes his eyes for a moment, pretending that it’s wrapping around him and holding him close. Alex didn’t get much affection as a child; his parents had always been very stiff. Sure, they loved him, but they weren’t that good at showing it aside from a rough shoulder squeeze and tight smiles so full of expectations. When he came out, even the snippets of affection faded; no more of his mother fixing his hair or giving him a quick kiss on the forehead when he was sick. Two months after his coming out, they just… kicked him out. He came home to find his belongings shoved carelessly into a trash bag or two and that was that. Luke more than made up for the lack of physical affection, but Alex knows that there will always be something missing. 

Wide awake, Alex lets his head fall onto Willie’s shoulder. This time with care and attention, hesitancy. He hears Willie suck in a sharp breath but then the tension melts from their shoulders and fizzles into nothingness. For a moment, there is nothing but them and the pattering of rain against the windows. 

“Lets go for a drive.”

Alex looks up expecting Willie’s usual carefree and impish grin, but he’s taken aback by his wistful expression and something bursts in Alex’s chest. Something that may be instinct and may be just an overwhelming surge of emotion.

“Okay.” His voice is barely a whisper, a single wisp of smoke snaking from a blown out candle.

The air is damp and the rain is coming down hard; Alex reaches a cautious hand out beyond the awning and winces at the downpour. But Willie is wiggling his stupid eyebrows in the way that makes Alex’s face heat and he can’t say no as Willie drags him through the wet grass, shrieking with laughter and going slower than necessary to relish in the water pouring down from the sky in torrents. They’re soaked to the bone and breathless, overflowing with mirth, by the time they reach Alex’s car and clamber into the seats. Right after a brief argument about who’s driving of course. (“You will not be touching my steering wheel with your grimy paint hands, William.” “Says you.”) So Alex is driving. 

Willie has their hands pressed to the window, breath fogging up the glass and sending them into a fit of giggles every time. Alex switches on the radio and there’s a song playing that he recognizes but couldn’t sing along to; something soft and low, like lilting waves. Willie knows it though. And they’re singing. Oh. They’re singing. Alex almost has to pull the car to a stop and put his head in his hands because Willie never told him he could sing.

Willie’s voice is low and slightly raspy, but not in a bad way. Alex knows he’s heard this song before, but he’s 100% certain that this is his first time really hearing it. And it’s beautiful. Or maybe it’s just Willie. It’s probably just Willie. 

Alex brings the car to a slow stop in the parking lot of an odd gas station that always seems to be closed. He doesn’t turn it off though, because he would rather die than have Willie stop singing. He leans his head back and breathes, certain he’s inhaling Willie’s voice. Willie’s voice which is like sparks on his skin, like smoke that crowds his lungs and opens his soul for the very first time. He feels a sense of mourning when the song stops and something else comes on, something peppier and sickeningly sweet. He switches the radio off. 

“I didn’t know you could sing.” Alex isn’t even looking at them; he’s fiddling nervously with the strap of his fanny pack.

Willie smirks proudly. “You learn something new every day.”

“Yea.”

Willie traces a heart in the fog on the window and lets it sit there. Then he unbuckles his seat belt and pokes Alex’s shoulder. “Hey ‘Lex, come on.”

“No.” Alex shakes his head vigorously. “No. We’re already soaking wet and-”

“Hot dog.”

And damn it, the nickname may be so incredibly stupid but Alex has such a weird soft spot for it. He groans dramatically, making a point to wring out his hair, which is already mostly dry at this point. “You’re the worst. What if it starts thundering?” 

Willie shrugs. “I have my noise cancelling headphones. And you can-” they cut themself off. 

“I can what?”

“Nothing,” Willie squeaks. “Please. Please.”

So Alex climbs reluctantly from the car and stands in the parking lot looking far from amused. “You owe me.”

Willie laughs loudly, grabbing both of Alex’s hands and spinning him in an aimless circle, pulling them both into a dance  to music that’s only in his head. They twirl Alex around several times, and Alex is certain that he’s going to actually fall over and faint. Willie raises his face to the sky and squints, letting the rain soak him without care. Alex is in awe and how open and free Willie is, like nothing can ever go wrong and if it does they’ll always be flying. He doesn’t realized they’ve stopped dancing until Willie turns to him with a curious expression. Their eyes rake over his face and Alex realizes he’s staring. But for once, he doesn’t look away. And for the first time, he sees the corner of Willie’s mouth quirk up and their eyes flick to his lips and even linger there for a brief second. 

The rain doesn’t seem to have plans to stop anytime soon, and they’re both shivering and wet and Willie’s hair is dangling in front of his face. Alex reaches out and tucks it behind his ear, both of them holding a breath, waiting. It’s right there, right in front of him, and Alex is inches from just grasping it and clutching it to his chest. Willie takes a step forward so their faces are just inches from each other and Alex can feel their breath against his cheeks. He exhales shakily and raises one hand to cup Willie’s cheek, his touch feather light and afraid. Willie leans into the contact and grins upwards, their nose wrinkling fondly. He gives a silent nod and for the first time in years, Alex takes the plunge. 

Their first kiss is soft and slow and Willie tastes like rain and green tea. Alex smiles against their lips, a breathy laugh escaping his own. He’d think this is a dream, but no section of his imagination could conjure something even a fragment as magical as this. They’re in the middle of a parking lot, cold and wet, and yet Alex feels the warmest he ever has. Alex is hesitant to pull away, but he does, just barely. Their foreheads stay resting against each other, like breaking apart would break them. Then it comes crashing into him. Alex just kissed Willie. He just kissed Willie. And Willie kissed him back! Holy shit!

“Wowza.” Wowza? What the fuck Alex? 

Willie breaks into joyous laughter, throwing his head back and clutching Alex’s shoulders. And Alex laughs with him; he buries his face in the crook of Willie’s neck, his heart full to bursting. Wowza indeed.

---

notes: ...I did say I was thinking about a Willex rain kiss. I actually wrote like half of chapter 6 a while ago so I might be able to post it tomorrow. 

chapter 6

taglist:  @thatsanewflavor @spookiest-sapphic @dovesgrangers @julie-n-phantoms @frostknyte @thegaylink @nervousmiracletrash @crummycassidy @fairygclds @reallyintrospectivepeople @madsmax-37 @swamp-acad @kat-maybe-not @sunsetcurve123 @lookingthroughmirrors @queer-fandom-enby @over-under-through1 @willex-n-waffles @caliibee @stars-soph @herequeerandcantdrinkbeer @nickalicious @andwhenwepart @maizsnex @fanofthepod @heademptynothoughts @thunderstorm-symphony @julieandthephantomsandme @i-spit-on-fire

[qqueenofhades]

hilary listen the old guards slayed me. I mean the plot the pacing the writing the acting?? the diversity that didn’t feel like lip service? tHAT ENDING??? Charlize Theron also knocked it out off the park. like the bone weary fatigue that comes with seeing too much and for too long could’ve been played as that snarky cynical and jaded god. but she dIDNT. and it was such an impactful and nuanced performance. Agh I’m running out of characters gdi moving over to another ask (1/2)

ALSO BOOKER. I fucking love when they make a characters actions reasonable. like the man is clearly depressed. he’s tired and he wants some sort of agency back in the face of devastating loss over and over again. like waiting for your friends to heal themselves each time they die?? my god that amount of stress has to get to you at some point. which also lends to this self-awareness and surety among all of the characters (especially Nicky omg Nicky you beautiful cinnamon roll). GDI no space (2/3) 

RIGHT. Nicky! what a compassionate but ruthlessly efficient solider (also that part near the end where he puts the gun over his shoulder for joe to take was kinda hot ngl). the juxtaposition is so interesting and compelling and we see it throughout the movie with all of the characters too. even their relationship as a team. it’s odd because they’re really professional with each other but still choose to be a family from the get go. it’s even more profound when you think about it (NO SPACE Y) 3/4 

because that’s the one thing they truly have a choice over. they’re going to see these 4 people for the rest of their long longgg lives and they can very easily say no. I’ll find others and lose them but I refuse to be forced to get stuck with you instead of someone else. they don’t though and such props to the writer who didn’t go down that traditional path of conflict. aggghh I could on about how andy didn’t die either but I’m running out of space Again and have spammed you enough lolollll 

LOOK.

It was as if ye olde Netflix Powers Thatte Be said “look we know 2020 has been a flaming hellpit dumpster of Why God Why, so we’re gonna give the gays everything they want”

There was world-weary ancient Greek warrior short-haired lesbian Charlize Theron (that scene with the hot French pharmacy lady tenderly patching up her shoulder in the bathroom and the obvious sexual tension was SO UNNECESSARY BUT ALSO COMPLETELY NECESSARY GOD BLESS THE FILMMAKERS!) She has lost her equally hot and badass wife and there was Angst and Feelings and now we have Drama with said wife returning from the sea floor and I don’t know what’s gonna happen but my body is ready and I need the sequel immediately.

There were Joe and Nicky, the most beautiful devoted interracial/interreligious mlm immortal husbands who are still completely gaga for each other after hundreds of years, there are absolutely no gay “jokes” or even any calling attention to their status, they whup ass and they make out in front of stormtroopers because why not get you a man who can do both. We have already discussed the fact that I am Deep down the rabbit hole for them.

There was Nile (NILE! I WOULD DIE FOR YOU!) the most PRECIOUS immortal bean, who is a Black woman who literally cannot be shot down, who takes the hits from the military (DON’T THINK I DID NOT NOTICE THAT THE US ARMY WAS ALSO GOING TO PUT HER IN A CAGE/INSTITUTION ONCE THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT HER) and from the white supremacist violence but GETS BACK UP EVERY TIME BECAUSE THEY CANNOT STOP HER WITH THEIR USUAL MINDLESS STATE SPONSORED MACHINE GUNS. She gets to rescue the whole team like a BADASS and go into the lab with the action-hero angles almost ALWAYS received by the Hard Bitten White Man, she gets to tackle the main villain off the top of a goddamn skyscraper and walk away from it while he’s dead, she is nonetheless Sweet and Vulnerable and in need of Protection so she gets to be BOTH the damsel in distress and the hero and I just... I have a lot of feelings about Nile okay.

Even the Hard Bitten White Man we did get, i.e. Booker, is the guy who makes painful choices and is driven by the pain of having to watch his children die and yet also still displays emotions and cares for his other family and awfully regrets what he did to hurt them (and when he realizes Andy’s not healing he PANICS) and now he’s met Quynh and oh the dramaaaa.

I VERY MUCH NOTICED THE CIA AND BIG PHARMA/AN INSUFFERABLE KNOW IT ALL RICH BRITISH WHITE MAN BEING THE VILLAINS UNDER CLAIMING TO DO “GOOD.” THANK YOU. (And good on you Chiwetel Ejiofor, I knew you wouldn’t let Dudley Dursley actually get away with it)

THE ADVENTURES ACROSS HISTORY TO BE! GOOD! PEOPLE! NOT GRIMDARK POINTLESS ANNIHILATION! THEIR HEROISM MEANS SOMETHING IN THE END!!!

THE FOUND FAMILY OF IT ALL. As you note, they completely avoided the “oh no they all hate each other and snipe over petty things and try to kill each other” and went “nope they are a family and they watch football together in their loud church in France where they like to live and all sleep in the same bedroom” LIKE UP YOURS MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE oops

And Andy DIDN’T die and is gonna see her wife again and now has to reckon with that and has to figure out how to fight when she’s no longer completely invulnerable and has to mentor Nile and figure out how to be part of the team in a different way and and and

(I CAN’T BELIEVE I ORIGINALLY FORGOT TO MENTION IT WAS DIRECTED BY A BLACK WOMAN AND A LOT OF WOMEN WORKED ON IT)

/breathes deeply

Anyway I liked it a normal amount.

[fingonvaliant]

An open letter to the Apostles

To the Leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

I left because I didn’t believe anymore. There were too many promises that weren’t fulfilled, to many questions I was given false answers to, but more than anything else, I couldn’t take the stress of being a queer person in a space I didn’t feel like I belonged in. I could talk about Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Mountain Meadows, the Kinderhook Plates, the stock portfolio, seer stones, blood atonement, “skins of darkness,” musket fire, “fence-sitters,” and a million things besides, but you know all that already.

I hope that with this letter, I can help the Church improve and change, because I still care about the Church, even though I no longer belong to it; that’s how I know it needs to change. It is still important to me. I am not trying to get people to leave the Church, that is not my goal. I’m not a Korihor trying to cause contention. But I need to tell my story.

While I was growing up, I believed it all. I was baptized at eight, regularly attended, served in quorum leaderships, and planned on going on a mission. Then, about when I was thirteen, I started experiencing what the Church calls “same-gender attraction.” I dislike this term greatly; it sounds like a disease. I prefer to say that I discovered I was bisexual.

I did not know what this was. My sexual education classes never covered it; I was never told what it was when I got “the talk”; my only experience with the word “gay” was in a middle school context, as an insult with no clear meaning. The only thing I did know was that this was not allowed. If marriage was ordained of God between a man and a woman, why did I have these -at the time- confusing feelings? If the only relationships I had any experience with were heterosexual, how was I even to know bisexuality existed?

And I didn’t, for years. As I wrestled with this, not even knowing what exactly I was feeling, I eventually, around age 16, learned the words to fit the feelings, to fit my identity. I knew who I was, what I was. By then, gay marriage had only just been legalized, and I -a couple months late- learned that this was a victory for me also.

This recognition put everything I thought I knew about marriage into a tailspin. I knew, I saw, and I was a part of, the Church’s effort to prevent this legalization. I read in Standards for Youth, (at the time called For the Strength of Youth) a short paragraph that made a huge impact on the rest of my life: “Homosexual and lesbian behavior is a serious sin. If you find yourself struggling with same-gender attraction or you are being persuaded to participate in inappropriate behavior, seek counsel from your parents and bishop. They will help you.” (Standards for Youth, Sexual Purity, emphasis added).

The thorough talking-to’s my closeted teen self received just before and after the legalization of gay marriage involved repetition of this paragraph ad nauseam. Breaking it down, it’s clear the degree to which this passage is shaped by uninformed conservatism. What does “behavior” mean? Since it’s a serious sin, you’d expect there to be clarification, right? Is hand-holding a serious sin? Hugs? An increased heart rate? A peck on the cheek? Or just sex? The way I was taught, it was clear the answer was “all of the above.”

The term “struggling” carries so much weight. The LDS church knew suffering, and still today in many places of in the world, members of the Church face repression. All people struggle with burdens, we struggle with disease, we struggle with sin, we struggle with conflict. Is “same-gender attraction” a burden, a disease, a sin, does it cause conflict? With the use of this word, the values are clear.

But in reality, the most painful part of this paragraph is the conclusion: “your parents and bishop … will help you.” They didn’t. They didn’t know how to, they still don’t. Because of the broad interpretation of unacceptable “behavior” and the belief that “same-gender attraction” is a “struggle,” they had no clue what they were dealing with.

Coming out was a traumatic experience. I was attending an all-boys boarding school at the time and caught feelings for a fellow student. We snuck around, living out a high school romance for a few weeks, until we were caught by the staff. Phone calls home were made, and I had the indescribable experience of having to explain to my parents both who I was, and what I had done, over the phone, one parent at a time, without seeing their faces.

Their immediate reaction was that I was too young to know if I was “really gay,” and that all sorts of strange feelings happen in boys my age. They didn’t really believe my description of myself; they negated my identity -they did not even recognize that this experience and these feelings were part of my identity- and mailed me a copy of The Miracle of Forgiveness. My experience with my bishop was likewise useless. He advised me that -through the atonement of Christ- all things are possible, and with suitable dedication to living the gospel, I could be made pure.

I never changed. I could not. It cannot be done. But I tried. I tried so hard.

Church attendance became more and more anxiety-inducing. I felt more and more guilty blessing the sacrament and giving blessings. I gave up on my childhood dream of being a missionary because I could longer believe the words I would have to say. I took temple preparation classes but could never bring myself to the bishop’s office to do the interview. When I started attending college and going to a YSA ward, I was no longer under my parent’s supervision. I kept going for a few months, until I was called as a ward missionary. I remember the day where I was on splits with the full-time missionaries, and we were going door-to-door in a neighborhood near my home. I just felt like we were harassing people in their homes on a Wednesday evening. It was the most uncomfortable experience of my life. I knew then that I didn’t believe in any of this anymore.

You know as well as I do that tens of thousands of people have had similar experiences that I have. We’ve felt the alienation, the sidelining, the people who don’t understand, the hand-wringing, the statement that all the burden lies on queer people to cure themselves, and it is the Church that must not change or cannot change. We keep being told “wickedness never was happiness,” (Alma 41:10) and that our lives of “unrepentant sin” are responsible for calamities and the disintegration of the family. We are being made into bogeymen in the closet, seeking “that all men might be miserable like unto [ourselves].” Endless inquiries are put forward, seeking to find the “cause of homosexuality” that we know are to find a “cure” for it. We are told we are suffering from these attractions, not that we have a unique identity, and certainly not that we are valuable.

But I know that these practices, and these doctrines, are not at the core of the Church. Members of the Church are commanded to “mourn with those that mourn … and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:9). All Christians are told, that as a mark of their religion, they are to “love one another; as I have loved you” (John 13:34) and that “On [this] hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:40). I know the Church can be better than it is right now; it is the Church itself that taught me that.

In nature, there is a direct correlation of both an organism’s and a species’ capacity for survival with its capacity for change. And I know the Church can change, because it has done it before, with interracial marriage, with polygamy, with African-Americans and the priesthood, with the Word of Wisdom, and with many things besides. Society changes all the time, and the Church changes with it.