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[ashiyn]

me watching ren's hermitcraft season 7 episodes that includes a lot of star wars references and lore without having seen a single movie

[crystal-lillies]

A Series of Unfortunate Reviews: The Bad Beginning

Alright alright alright. Time for the real in-depth stuff from a longtime reader and watcher and listener of ASoUE material. There will be spoilers below this cut right down here, so be warned. You know, even though 85% of the plot is 100% of the plot of the books and you can easily read them yourself and not worry about spoilers, but since there is new, specific material, I’ll keep it hidden. Prepare for a Verbose Far-reaching Description.  Aaannnd review time!

~*~

Oh my dear golly god. OH My dear GOD. These two episodes are absolutely BRILLIANT! Where do I even begin? Wait- I know

The first episode started with the note to Beatrice!!!!!! HELL YES! (I’ll note it now, each new “book” starts that way, and oh my god it’s so great to see that)

The episode also started off with a recreation of the first illustration in The Bad Beginning, with Violet, Klaus, and Sunny on the trolley to Briny Beach watching unknowingly as a fire truck rides by. It was really cool to see! 

Lemony Snicket as the semi-omniscient, omnipresent narrator was surprisingly excellent. The transitions between scenes had excellent, fluid cinematography and I love the little bits where Lemony would take the viewer backwards in time or to a different perspective. The moment where he snuck in and stood in the Baudelaire mansion as it caught fire and burned was really great. It not only served to direct us into the past, but it also established the secret VFD tunnels that lead everywhere. It alsoooo brought in one of my favorite deep lines from the first book, “If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.” 

Perfectly after we see Lemony standing in the burning house, the Baudelaires see what is left of their house. It’s heartbreaking in a way that I wouldn’t expect. The children are at a loss for words, utterly shaken, and the ignorance of their feelings by Mr. Poe was incredible. It goes straight from that poignant line from Lemony, straight to Mr. Poe saying  along the lines of “I know exactly how you feel, even though this never happened to me.” Absolutely brilliant. 

AND!!! the moment I had been waiting for!!!! The Baudelaires do in fact stay with the Poe family!!!! One of the changes the series made to the books is that Eleanora Poe is now Mr. Poe’s wife instead of his sister. This is one of the changes that I feel is better actually, since Mrs. Poe hardly does anything besides admonish the children and give them horrible clothes. Eleanora is obsessed with the Daily Punctilio just as in the books. and still admonishes the children, with the line about blanched meaning “boiled” and her saying that no one asked the Baudelaires. Edgar and Albert Poe weren’t quite as bratty but they had the incredibly stabbing line “How did you do it? ... Set the fire?” good god, my heart... 

Alright, continuing on, faster paced, on the introduction to Justice Strauss and then Count Olaf. This was done very well, especially accenting how great of a match the kids would be with Justice Strauss rather than Count Olaf. One of the absolutely excellent things this show does is fill in the glaring mystery as to why the children went to Count Olaf first on such a flimsy explanation. (this is explained and shown in the second episode) It grounds the VFD element and further accents how idiotic the adults are, well Mr. Poe specifically, believing Count Olaf in his saying that “closest living relative” meant closest physically, not the way it was originally. I love the idea that they were always supposed to go to Uncle Monty’s first, and Gustav was a more dynamic character in setting up the Baudelaires to come to Uncle Monty’s first. GOSH it’s hard to pick a favorite line from this new moment, but I LOVE when Olaf remarks that his henchmen forgot the costumes, which is a direct reference to the Various Finery Disguises and the Veiled Facial Disguises that not only Count Olaf but all members of VFD can possess. Also Yessica Haircut is excellent. X’D 

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Count Olaf’s introduction, tour of the house, and treatment of the children is portrayed phenomenally. I loved his reactions to Mr. Poe’s constant coughing, in these episodes and throughout the whole first season. His remarks on Beatrice Baudelaire being flammable killed me. KILLED ME. Olaf had too many great lines. and great visual gags. His stealing of the lamb and then eating it in front of the children was despicable and I loved it. His distortion and manipulation of Justice Strauss legitimately made me want to strangle him, especially when the lovely judge just wanted to be a good neighbor and a friend to the children. ; o ; but she’s just too gullible...rip. 

On the other hand, the children going to see her and the subsequent puttanesca scenes are great, absolutely heartwarming! I love how at home they feel with her. The dialogue Klaus and Justice Strauss have about libraries is adorable and true to the characters. <3 <3 (and that almost-moment when Justice Strauss starts to pull out the Incomplete History of Secret Organizations O H MY god yessss) Of course we have this gloriously melancholy moment when the Baudelaires pass Briny Beach on their way to the market, and we see the abandoned stone and retrieval basket device and it’s very deep cutting. 

And then of course, we have the lovely puttanesca scene. (preempted by the first of the in-world musical numbers which I was perfectly okay with, the Count song. It’s so deliciously terrible and egotistical that it fits) The children cooking is nice to see, and while the 2004 movie had a nice cooking scene too, this one was more realistic in the sense that they got all the ingredients for puttanesca sauce and as ridiculous as Count Olaf is, he’s more likely to have a broken pasta maker than strands of dry pasta laying around. The actual dinner scene is terrific, (THERE IS NO “I” IN ACTING...a certain escargot...) and the buildup to the roast beef moment is well done, especially when we the audience get to see that Olaf’s henchmen  aren’t the picky ones and they actually eat the pasta and enjoy it until Olaf throws his hissy fit about the roast beef and they monotonely complain (whilst still eating the food of course). And goSH. GOSH. Klaus building rage at Count Olaf til he snaps and then Olaf smacking him across the face- oh my dear boy my sweet baby - (of course Lemony intercut at the perfect time with the line about some things being too violent to show, and then cutting to Klaus getting smacked across the face ..... .) oh man Klaus, sweet boy, I love him. What an excellent scene of building tension!!  

The episode ends with Violet, Klaus, and Sunny up in their one bed in the dingy bedroom as it rains and leaks from the ceiling. Imo this was a great place to stop and pull back. And then. the biggest conundrum of all. Cobie Smulders as “Mother” and Will Arnett as “Father” making all of us question whether or not the Baudelaire parents were really dead. 

The second episode begins with a nice and quick recap without too much detail of the first, and as I mentioned earlier, the background of why the children ended up with Count Olaf. (I really love Jacquelyn so much, I LOVE THE FACT SHE UPROOTED A FREAKING TREE...) This is a great way to start the second episode because it allows the story and the audience a breather to prepare us for the next part of the Baudelaires’ story. Which also involves them going to the bank and complaining to Mr. Poe. The use of in loco parentis that continues to be used is awesome. (and because I’m a piece of nerd trash I couldn’t help but think of Hercules Mulligan and Hamilton, dammit) Very well done. :) 

Then we get what used to be the oatmeal scene but is now a cupcake scene, still complete with raspberries. The food isn’t the only main difference but the way the scene plays out is a great plot development. Not to mention it really emphasizes how terrifying Olaf really is. (this and another scene which I’ll get to that you probably are aware of) The kids racing to figure out Count Olaf’s scheme through Justice Strauss’ library is well-paced, and Olaf’s further manipulation of Justice Strauss to act in The Marvelous Marriage is sooooo on point oh man. (the scene of Olaf and the cakes is GREAT! “The third one is a little lemony...” “I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SAY THAT WORD!” I d ie d , especially when Olaf tried the slice and ended up really liking it)

 Klaus makes me proud by staying up all night reading the Nuptial Law book and being SO SMART AND SASSY!!!! to Olaf when he realizes what the plan is (and Olaf’s remark about the sugar bowl also killed me) and the subsequent scene of Violet building the grappling hook and climbing device was SO GOOD! it’s different from the books in that she didn’t use clothes given to them by Mrs. Poe, nor did she use a broken umbrella looking thing, but I’m fairly certain she ties the pieces of cloth together in the devil’s tongue knot even though it wasn’t explicitly stated. The scene still is excellent at showing Violet’s inventive prowess and that’s the important part. 

Also while Klaus was being amazingly smart and sassy, Lemony Snicket does this hilarious little explanation of the difference between figurative and literal and it’s really great. (also because it is set in the theater that The Marvelous Marriage will be set)

Here what I glanced over, in between Klaus’ moment and Violet’s moment, we have the glorious scene of Jacquelyn meeting with none other than Gustav, Monty’s assistant, and as I mentioned earlier, fulltime member of VFD and the one orchestrating, or attempting to orchestrate, the safe moving of the Baudelaire children. I have to say, I really love Gustav, and I fleetingly hoped that he would survive. Of course I knew he had to die, but I grew much more attached to his character because of this scene and the one he has with Jacquelyn at the theater. I got much more attached to him than I did in the books and hell he hardly was a presence in the movie. That is a great thing because it really sets up our attachment not only to this new subplot but the struggling VFD as a whole because we are there with them. 

Thus then comes the second scene that REALLY grounds how terrifying Olaf is: “Klaus, I can touch whatever I want”  

JUST LOOK AT THAT.

(titled, GOD i wanna punch Olaf in the face.jpg) 

GOD I REALLY DO WANNA PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. the casual, confident way he just grips Violet’s shoulder. UGH. Great writing and directing. Utterly revolting. I said it before the series came out and I’ll say it again, this REALLY just nails the idea of how disgusting Violaf is and I love how this achieves that, while also simultaneously am disgusted by the action. Thank you Daniel Handler and Barry Sonnenfield.  

Ahem anyway, the last bit I will cover, of course, is The Marvelous Marriage. As many of us guessed, that odd scene of Olaf dressed like an Ancient Egyptian was in fact a part of the play. Olaf makes a great aside joke about theater versus streaming television and again, it killed me. (Why must he have so many great lines!?) The play wasn’t quite as funny or memorable as the one from the 2004 movie, I will say that, but I did enjoy Jacquelyn and Gustav’s exasperated commentary a lot. Mr. Poe getting bored and dozing off was also hilarious. Inbetween the scenes of the play we saw Sunny playing poker with the Hook-Handed Man, which I can’t recall if it was in the book or not, but it was really funny to see that. For what the play scene was worth, I did like the keeping of Violet signing in her left hand of course, and Klaus’ ingenious explanation of nuptial law <3 <3 with a blackboard and everything~ oh sweet baby. Especially when Gustav and Jacquelyn are ready to strike to save the kids but stop when they see Klaus and his plan. AAaah... And of course as it ends Count Olaf escapes with the chilling threat to Violet and the heartbreaking refusal of the children to stay with Justice Strauss, but we can see here it’s more likely for the best as Gustav and Jacquelyn are there to assure their safety...

Until poor Gustav gets killed at the tag end. Rest in peace, Gustav. Rest in peace. I really did like him. 

Again the episode closes out with the mysterious “Mother” and “Father,” with the “Mother” making a grappling hook and a Molotov cocktail, one of which Violet made and the other Violet mentioned was a thing she could make if they had kerosene. Way to make us question everything we know, Daniel Handler. It doesn’t help that they look like Violet, Klaus, and Sunny too. It really doesn’t. 

Anyway, that ends The Bad Beginning! As this pair of episodes goes, I’ll rate it a solid 9.5/10. It was in my opinion probably the closest to being perfect out of the four book adaptations, in terms of tight storytelling, excellent use of the split between episodes, and inclusion of details. This is not to mention of course how I felt much more connected to the children and even their parents, as well as Olaf’s troupe and Mr. Poe and his family and the new VFD elements.

 While I did love Justice Strauss, however, some moments with her fell a bit flat. She is given more time to be developed and loved which I enjoyed but still there were moments I wanted more. Olaf’s troupe in addition, focused more on the Hook Handed Man than the others, even though they gave the others more time, again like Justice Strauss, I got the feeling I wanted more from the Bald Man with the Long Nose and the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender. As a whole though, this was a much more solid adaptation than the movie.

I’ll end this review by positing a small theory. Count Olaf’s “mansion” had a lot more overt symbols of the VFD insignia, not just eyes. It made me wonder if his house used to be a more respectable manor that was used for VFD meetings, and then after the schism, it was a target of arson or some other destructive action, or both. 

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed my review of The Bad Beginning! Feel free, fellow volunteers and Snicket fans, to talk to me about A Series of Unfortunate Events! 

The review for the next “book” pair of episodes, The Reptile Room, will be coming soon!