#love that you don't need to tie anything off and finished texture | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

liaragaming · 7 years ago

Text

Sweet Compromise

Finished weeks ago, but I hesitated posting as it contains some personally sensitive material given my own ace/sexual relationship. Features Solavellan sexual compromise with Ace & touch sensitive Lavellan. NSFW. Written for @submissivesolas week and @dragonageaspecweek.

Tagging: @princessdreadwolf, @ellstersmash, @lunar-jam @adventuresinastrangeworld, @accidental-apostate , @amayaredfern

She sits in his lap, straddling him in his chair in the rotunda. His hands rest on her waist, his discarded book lying open and face down on the floor. She leans into him, their lips and tongues meeting and tangling… and something else presses against her thigh.

She pulls back and glances to where their hips meet before bringing her eyes back to his. “I'm making you uncomfortable.”

He smiles. “It's not a problem.” He slides an arm around her to pull her back to him, but stops. “Unless, it's making you uncomfortable.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “It doesn't bother me. But I can stop if–”

“Vhenan, sometimes just looking at you makes me 'uncomfortable.'” He chuckles. “If you're concerned for my sake, I would much rather you continue showing your affection. I will handle it later.”

She lets him pull her to him this time, and they resume their tongue wrestling. She's been continuously surprised by his support and understanding ever since she told him she had no desire for nor an interest in sex.

“There can be intimacy in a relationship without sex,” he told her. “And I can handle any… physical urges in other ways.”

He'd handle it. It's what he'd said then and what he told her now. He'd probably been handling it for weeks, months if she included the time they were together before she admitted the truth about herself.

What if she didn't want him to have to handle it? Or at least, not all the time?

“What is it?” he asks when she pulls away again.

He's bent over backwards for her… and she finds herself wanting to bend a little for him.

“I think…” she says slowly. “I'd like to give sex a try.”

He shakes his head. “You don't have to do something you dislike just to please me.”

“I know that,” she says. “But it means something to you, and that gives it value… even though it doesn’t mean the same to me.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Vhenan, you don't–”

“There are some things about sex I like.”

He blinks, his hand frozen in place by her ear. “Truly?”

She nods.

He leans back into the chair. “Such as?”

“I like the physical closeness, the skin on skin contact.”

He smiles. “We don't need sex for that.”

“I know, but I also like penetration.”

His eyebrows rise. “You do?”

“Just the initial part of it, the fitting together part. I'm afraid the rest does absolutely nothing for me.”

He comes back to her, trailing his fingers along her arms while he considers. Their foreheads come together. “If you wanted to do that,” he says, his voice soft and low. “We wouldn't have to go further.”

“But you'd want to.”

“That's…” He sucks in a breath. “Not the point.”

“It is the point.” She raises her head from his. “I'm not going to entice you with something like that and then say we can't do anything else. That's not fair.”

He takes her hands. “Is this something you actually want or something you're willing to do because you think I want it?”

“I want the fitting together part,” she says. “You want the rest of it. I'm suggesting we do both.”

“But if it vexes you-”

“It doesn’t have to. Or at least, I don’t think it does. Not all the time.” She sighs. “I’m still trying to figure this out. My previous partners were before I understood myself. We weren't capable of coming to a compromise, but I think… maybe you and I can.”

“I’m not asking for a compromise, vhenan.”

“I know,” she says. “But I’d like to try.”

His eyes search her face. “This is... what you want?”

She nods. “It is.”

“Then… if you're certain...”

“I am.” She takes his hand and leads him from the chair, across the room, and down the hall to her chambers. She sits on the bed, and he stands before her. She pulls him to her for a kiss.

“Tell me what I should do,” he says when they part.

“I'm sensitive to touch.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere. Like here.” She tilts her head toward her shoulder, exposing the left side of her neck. She slides her fingers over her skin and he follows with kisses, making her shiver.

“Where else?” he asks, his lips still teasing her skin.

“My front. All of it.”

He pulls away, his fingers falling to the edge of her shirt. “May I?”

She nods and he lifts it slowly, kneeling in front of her to kiss her stomach. Her skin tingles as he travels upward, his hands lifting her shirt as he goes until reaching the swell of her breasts. He stands and kisses her on the lips before removing her shirt completely. His eyes linger over her bare chest.

“You can touch,” she says.

He cups her breasts, one in each hand. His thumb caresses her skin, and she sighs. He kisses both, then massages them gently. She closes her eyes and lays her head back with a soft moan.

He chuckles. “That's good, then?”

It's not arousing, not the way she assumes it is for other women. It doesn't build. It just feels good.

She answers him by pulling him to her by the belt around his waist. She raises a hand to his neck, guiding him down to kiss her. Together their fumbling fingers manage to get his belt off. Then she lifts his tunic over his head.

She will never understand the appeal of watching the soldiers at Skyhold train shirtless in the courtyard, and she's shook her head at many women who have climbed the stairs of the ramparts to watch. A well-sculpted body means nothing to her. And if someone were to ask, she wouldn't be able to give any answer to what physical features she finds attractive on a man. But give her someone she cares about romantically, and show her a part of them few others get to see. That holds meaning for her. In that, she finds beauty.

She adores the freckles that dot Solas' shoulders and dissipate over his chest. She loves how the muscles of his body go from toned over his chest to soft around his stomach. There's a small scar on his left side, only an inch or two long. Later she'll ask him how he got it, but for now she runs a finger lovingly over it and kisses it.

She returns to his mouth, taking his face into her hands as she kisses him. They tumble onto the bed, grasping for each other. She takes in his warmth, the weight of him over her, the smooth texture of his skin against hers. These have meaning for her. These are more sacred than nearly anything else they might do tonight.

“Where else are you sensitive?” he asks.

She takes his hands, guiding them to her sides. “Use your fingertips.”

He does as she suggests, sliding over her skin with a light pressure, and she squirms from the sensation.

He chuckles. “You really enjoy this.”

“I do.”

“What else should I try?”

She smiles. “You could use your tongue.”

He does exactly what she hoped he'd do and slides his tongue along her neck. She gasps, digging her fingers into his back.

“Too much?” he asks.

“No,” she says. “More of that.”

He returns to her neck, licking and drawing soft gasps from her. He explores the rest of her body, a gradual process of touching, kissing, and flicking his tongue along her stomach, chest, and arms until she's tingling all over.

When he’s finished, he comes back for a kiss. “How are you doing?”

“I'm good,” she tells him, basking in the sensations. “I'm really good.”

He kisses her again. “Is there anything else you want me to do?”

She shakes her head. “Just lie with me.”

He lays next to her, and she turns for him. They tangle together, kissing and caressing. Her fingers find the tie in his trousers and work to undo it.

"You're sure?" He asks her.

"Yes."

He grasps her waistband and works to remove the rest of her clothing as she does with his.

After tossing her trousers to the floor he explores her legs, touching and kissing to find the sensitive spots and eliciting soft noises. He kisses his way up an inner thigh, making her tremble, and pauses before the most tender part of her.

"Can I touch?"

"Please don't."

He doesn't ask for an explanation, just crawls up to her for another kiss. She pulls him to her and wraps herself around him. They lay with entwined limbs, holding each other, as fully covered by each other's skin as they ever could be. If she wanted, she could stay like this for hours, content in being engulfed in his arms.

But there's other things she wants to try tonight.

She rolls over, forcing him onto his back. She hovers above him as she straddles him. His length lies against his abdomen between her thighs.

It's been awhile since she's done this, back when she didn't understand why her body wouldn't cooperate, why she got bored or couldn't get excited, why everything hurt or was uncomfortable. Nights that ended in frustration and tears and feeling like she was broken. Nights that only grew worse the harder she tried. Nights that accumulated until the weight of them crushed everything else.

Her hesitation must show on her face because Solas reaches for her. "Vhenan, we don't have to do anything you’re not comfortable with."

She could end it right now, and he wouldn't be frustrated that what she proposed didn't happen. He wouldn't yell and walk out her door in a huff. He wouldn't question the adequacy of her or himself. He would accept it, and he would love her however she needed to be loved, and nothing would change.

That knowledge is what makes her brave enough to try more.

She leans down to kiss him and rolls her hips. He groans into her mouth. She rubs herself against him, the only thing that’s ever been stimulating for her. Though she rarely yearns for it, it’s something she’s learned her body needs. It helps her loosen and makes everything that comes after more comfortable. It’s not always something she enjoys however, and she focuses more pleasantly on the soft sighs Solas makes.

When enough sweat and slick has built between them, she presses her opening against him. She might as well have used her thigh for all the entrance her body yields. She tries again to similar results.

Solas takes her face in his hands. "Are you alright?"

She nods. "This part just takes a minute."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Just push against me a little."

He does, and it helps, but it still takes a few tries before her body yields an inch, and then a second. The next attempt takes him in completely, her walls parting with such a sudden force that she drops her head to his shoulder with a groan.

He goes rigid under her. "Did I hurt you?"

She drops several kisses onto his skin. "No, that’s normal."

She rests her head on his shoulder for a minute, enjoying the feeling of being connected. Solas says nothing, just runs his hands over her and turns his head to kiss her. But she can hear his already labored breath, his rapid heartbeat. She was right in thinking this would excite him.

She pushes herself up, steadying her hands on his shoulders. She moves slowly at first, testing the waters. Nothing hurts, nothing rubs uncomfortably, and she smiles when Solas gasps under her. She picks up speed and force, still judging the state of her body, until Solas is drawing shuddering breaths.

She takes his hands which he's clenched in the bedsheets at his sides and places them on her hips. "Guide me, vhenan."

He does, directing her movements in the way he needs. She meets his thrusts with hers and listens to the way his breath hitches, his soft exhales. She loves how he arches his neck, his head tilted back and his eyelids fluttering. When he kisses her, it’s passionate, needy, all-encompassing. She cherishes the moan that escapes him, how he turns his face to the side.

He directs her faster, harder. And her body thankfully does not protest. Tiny whimpers escape him, and she wishes she could capture each one.

Her name comes on his lips and his whole body shudders. He gives a few solitary thrusts before collapsing under her.

She drops kisses onto his face until he finds enough breath to kiss her back.

"Was that… okay for you?" he pants.

She smiles and nods. "Was it okay for you?"

He laughs and runs his hands over her back. "Better than okay." He kisses her again. "Do you...? Should I… do anything for you?"

She shakes her head. "This is what I wanted."

He kisses her again. “I am glad, vhenan.”

She rolls off him, and they lay together unmoving until their hot, sweaty skin begins to cool and their heart rates return to normal.

She's so comfortable she's nearly fallen asleep when he asks, "What is your verdict? On our compromise?"

"I could do it again," she tells him. "Not regularly, but... maybe a monthly thing?"

He chuckles and holds her tighter, nuzzling his face against hers. "Whatever you need, vhenan."

They've both nearly drifted off when she speaks again, "Solas?"

"Mmm?" he says, not opening his eyes.

"This was perfect."

[buy me a coffee]

#sub solas week #aspec week #fanfic #my fanfic #solavellan #asexuality

188 notes · View notes

everlarkbirthdaydrabbles · 8 years ago

Note

My birthday is April 28th. I don't maintain a blog on Tumblr though. I created an account just to follow the fabulous fellow Everlarkers here. If you can, I will take anything I can get but if possible, some smut please. *bambi eyes*

Happy birthday! Here is a little something special cooked up just for you by @katnissdoesnotfollowback. Have a wonderful day and enjoy the read!

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

Happiest of birthdays toyou! I hope you enjoy what I’ve cooked up for you and it adds to to yourcelebration. Thanks to @peetabreadgirl for prereading this sucker.

TWENTY-FIVE

“I’m gonna be late. Please tell me you made somehot water for tea this morning,” Peeta says to his brother as he rushes intothe kitchen and tosses his bag on the counter.

“Gotta move faster, old man,” Ryen teases, butlowers his newspaper enough to point to the kettle sitting on a siliconetrivet.

“You’re two years older than me,” Peetagrumbles, not bothering to look at what he is sure is a self-satisfied smirk onhis brother’s face, choosing instead to focus on pouring the water into histravel mug and dropping in a tea bag to steep.

“Yes, but nothing good happens aftertwenty-five. They expect you to be an adult after twenty-five. For real,” Ryencomplains and Peeta curses as the hot liquid splashes over the edges onto hishand when he moves it a little too forcefully towards the spot where he leftthe lid.

“Graham would disagree,” he mutterssarcastically as he shakes the tea droplets off his hand and wipes the residueon a towel. His skin stings, but he doesn’t have time to deal with it.

“Graham is an idiot,” Ryen returns, but hedoesn’t say the rest of what they’re both thinking.

Their oldest brother is currently racked out ontheir couch, having crashed there and made himself at home a month ago when hiswife filed for divorce and their parents insisted that Peeta and Ryen needed to‘take care of their poor, stressed out brother in his time of need.’ Grahamhasn’t budged to find himself a new place since, choosing instead to revert tohis bachelor lifestyle and mooching off his two younger, single brothers.

But lately, in addition to the aggravation oftheir parents’ coddling of him, he’s been driving both Ryen and Peeta insane bydispensing what he calls ‘pearls of wisdom,’ which is basically theirbrother’s idea of life advice, but they both know it’s really Graham’s way offeeling better about himself…by making them feel inferior about their lives.For Ryen, it’s the promotion he didn’t get – and didn’t want because it meantmoving to another city. For Peeta, it’s the fact that for the past two years,he hasn’t had a steady girlfriend – and hasn’t wanted one since every datehe’s been on in that time has felt like a betrayal.

“Since he’s so deep in divorce attorney billsthat he apparently can’t even spare a twenty for a birthday present, he’sdetermined to get you laid tonight,” Ryen warns, making Peeta jump and bang theback of his head on the fridge. He winces and sighs when he sees that they’reout of milk. Slams the fridge shut to glare at his brother.

“His idea, not mine,” Ryen insists, holding hishands up in what’s meant to be an innocent gesture.

“You expect me to believe you didn’t have a handin that suggestion? Right. Well, tell him that I’m not interested,” Peeta saysand slings his bag over his shoulder, grabbing his tea and his blazer, andrushing out the front door, thumb entering a reminder into his phone to pick upmilk and a few other essentials they’ve run out of on his way home from work.He’ll have to stop by the school’s cafeteria to get some milk for his tea, andput himself even further behind schedule. His lunch break will simply need tobe sacrificed to finish grading papers for his afternoon classes.

“Tell him yourself, old man. And have a niceday, Dipshit!”

“You too, Asshole,” Peeta shouts over hisshoulder and then comes up short at the sight waiting for him out on theirdriveway. His best friend, leaning against his car door with a brown paper sackin her hands, her car parked out on the street. His lips automatically curve upin a smile that she returns.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta,” Katniss says as sheshoves herself off his car and steps aside so he can toss his things inside.

“It is now,” he replies, missing the slightflush that spreads across her cheeks while his head is in his car and hisattention on getting his tea into the cup holder without spilling more andburning himself again.

When he stands upright to focus on Katniss, shebrushes some lint off his shoulder and he tucks his hands in his pockets so hedoesn’t do something stupid like haul her against his chest and kiss hersenseless.

“Any big plans for tonight, birthday boy?” sheasks, oblivious to what her melodic voice and words do to him. Usually theywould’ve made plans by now, but they’ve both been so busy at work, they haven’thad a chance to talk about it in more than a general capacity.

“Avoiding my brothers’ schemes to spice up mylife,” he says and Katniss laughs. “Care to help me with that?”

“Sure,” she says and reaches out to straightenhis tie and ruffle his hair a little. He’s not sure what was wrong with itbefore, but Katniss seems satisfied with his appearance now, and that’s goodenough for him. “Netflix and dinner? I know it’s not exciting…”

“Sounds great,” he says with a smile, alreadyrelaxed at the idea of spending his birthday lounging on the couch with hisclosest friend.

“Since it is your birthday, I’ll cook.Johanna has a date tonight, though, so I suggest your place,” she admits with aquirk of her lips and Peeta has to smother a laugh.

The last time they hung out at her place,Katniss’ roommate had brought home a date and gave the pornography industry arun for its money in the erotic noises department. Katniss had been soembarrassed until Peeta suggested they head up the street to MidnightMilkshakes, an ice cream place that stays open until well into the early hoursof morning. They’d both been exhausted at work the next day, but it’d beenworth it to spend the time talking and laughing with her over a shared caramelapple milkshake.

“I’ll get rid of my obnoxious brothers. Sixo’clock alright?” he asks and Katniss nods, shoving the brown sack at hischest. “What’s this?”

“Breakfast,” she says and he smiles as he peeksinside to find one of his favorites from his family’s bakery, a savorycroissant wrapped around a slice of ham, some cheese, and eggs. When he looksup to thank her, her mouth bumps into his. He freezes. His heart thuds wildlyin his chest as she pulls back, too soon for his brain to register anything importantlike texture or taste or reality. Her cheeks flush bright red and she looksaway from him faster than the kiss lasted.

“Um, so, yeah. See you tonight, Peeta,” shemumbles as she practically sprints to her car.

He waits until she’s turned the corner before hedrops heavily into his driver seat. His brain makes no note of the drive towork, too occupied playing the moment over and over in his head, trying to makesense of why Katniss kissed him. Of what makes today so different from anyother day they’ve spent together, and desperately trying to not get his hopesup. She didn’t look too excited about kissing him, after all. She basically ranfor the hills as soon as it was over.

“Ah, fuck. Stupid, stupid stupid,” he mutters tohimself, thumping his head onto his steering wheel after he’s parked in theteacher’s lot and the truth punches him in the gut. She was aiming for hischeek. Of course she was aiming for his cheek. That would make sense,since she’s kissed him there before, but Peeta lifted his head at the wrongmoment and instead accidentally forced her to kiss him on the mouth. No wondershe was so embarrassed.

With a heavy sigh, he shoves himself from hiscar and grabs his things. Now he’s going to have to figure out how to apologizefor the faux pas of kissing his best friend in front of his house, withoutletting on that he’s madly in love with her.

Happy Birthday, indeed.

**************************

TWENTY-ONE

‘Just let these little leaves fall off yourbrush. All kinds of little things happy. And go out sometime in the woods andstudy trees. Talk to trees. Whatever it takes. The tree needs to be your friendif you’re going to paint him.’

“Hey,” a smoky female voice says in his rightear, making him jump and tug out the earbud from his left. “As much as I enjoywatching you paint along with Bob Ross, you might want to pay attention. She’sabout to tell us what’s gonna be on the test on Friday.”

Peeta doesn’t turn around because Professor Coinis inspecting the rows of students, steely eyes looking out for anyone notpaying attention or talking. He ducks his head, pauses his video, and switcheswindows on his laptop before typing madly for a second or two. When Coin turnsher back on the class again, he angles his head enough to mutter over hisshoulder at his thoughtful neighbor. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Paint me the cabin by the lake nextlecture and we’ll call it even,” she says and he can hear the jaded smile inher voice. He wonders what she looks like, but Coin’s throwing rapid fireterminology and concepts at them to review so he remains facing forward.

He hates this class, and he rarely ever hateshis classes, but economics is just so boring. There’s no life to it andhe took up painting in a drawing app in one window while Bob Ross’s sonorousvoice calmly talks about happy trees and other far less stressful things inanother window to get him through the hours of drudgery. Still, he didn’t wantto be called out as a slacker, so he was always careful to only use one earbudso half his brain could pretend to focus on the lecture.

As the list of material to be covered on thetest lengthens, he keeps stealing looks at the clock in the bottom right cornerof his screen, counting down the minutes until he can finally talk to the girlbehind him. His curiosity is piqued and he wonders if she’s been watching himpaint for the past two months. It should bother him, having someone look overhis shoulder like that, but if it’s gotten her through the dull lectures too,he can’t be sorry about it.

He wracks his memory for an image of her, but healways gets to this class a little early since that’s the way the bus schedulesworked out, comes in through doors that enter the massive lecture hall from theupper level and walks down the stairs to his seat, and then doesn’t really lookbehind him during the class. He’s certain he’d remember if someone was sittingright behind him when he arrives, so she must get to this class after him.

Finally, Coin wraps things up and Peeta twistsaround in his seat to catch her before she leaves, she’s bent over her bookbag, stuffing her textbook and a binder into it, her dark hair in a braid, partiallyobscuring her face from him.

“Hey, thanks again,” he says, catching herattention as she sits up and looks at him with pewter gray eyes. A distantmemory sends bells ringing in his head, but he extends his hand to her anyways.“I’m Peeta.”

“Katniss,” she says, but makes no move to shakehis hand.

“Katniss Everdeen?” he asks and hopes his voiceisn’t as squeaky and stunned as it sounds in his head. Her eyes narrow a littleand he shakes his head, clearing the fog that seems to be obscuring his abilityto think. “We went to Panem Twelfth District Elementary together. I’m PeetaMellark? Dad owned the bakery?”

“Oh. Yeah,” she says, and he’s not convincedthat she remembers him. Why would she? She didn’t even know he was alive backthen, but he had the biggest crush on her until the mines closed when they wereeleven and her family had to move away because her father had found a jobacross the country.

“Okay, well, um, thanks. For the warning aboutthe test. Again,” he says and wipes his palm on his shirt for something to dowith his hand, which she still hasn’t touched.

He turns back around, a little humiliated andcloses his laptop before sliding it into his bag. Ten years later and he stillcan’t even manage a passable conversation with Katniss Everdeen. Pathetic. Sohe’s more than a little surprised when he stands with his things and she’sstill there, watching him.

“You used to bring in cupcakes for the wholeclass around the first day of spring every year,” she says, startling him thatshe’d remember that.

“Yeah. I did. March 20th. It’s um, my birthday,”he says and shrugs, because that also happens to be today. It’s always kind ofsucked anyways so he figures what harm can come of him telling his childhoodcrush what today is.

“Then Happy Birthday, Peeta,” she says with asmall smile that sends his pulse skittering for a second. “Any big plans forthe night?”

Wait. What? Isshe flirting with him?

He’s not sure what to make of this unexpecteddevelopment and takes a second to find his bearings in this unknown territory.“Nothing special. My brothers are taking me out for my first legal drink,because what the world really needs is one more obnoxiously drunk guy in abar.”

She laughs. She actually laughs at somethinghe’s said, the sound musical and beautiful. He’s heady with it and that surelyis the reason he keeps speaking like the idiot he is.

“You wouldn’t want to come celebrate with us,would you? You could bring a few friends with you, if you like.”

Katniss examines him for a moment, chewing onthe corner of her bottom lip in the most adorable way.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll have to see what myroommate has planned for the night,” she says, but she asks for the name of thebar just in case.

Despite his brothers’ encouragement later thatnight, he manages to nurse his drinks and keep his head. Should Katniss showup, he doesn’t want to be wasted. As the night wears on with no sign of her,though, Peeta mentally berates himself for getting his hopes up. Eventually, hisbrothers drink themselves deep enough that Peeta knows he needs to get themhome before they do something dumb, like get themselves arrested.

He approaches the door, with both brothershanging off his shoulders, and of course, that’s when she walks in with a groupof friends. For a moment, he watches her twirl the end of her braid around onefinger and scan the crowds. When she sees him, she drops her braid to wave, andhe shrugs, giving his brothers annoyed looks. She seems to understand, becauseher friends say something to her and instead of stopping to talk with him, sheheads straight for the bar with one last shy wave of her hand.

So much for that.

But on Friday, when they’re packing up aftertheir economics test, and he’s more confident than usual about how he did, sheleans over his shoulder to whisper a reminder in his ear that he owes her acabin by the lake. He smiles, still facing forward so she can’t see his goofyexpression, and makes sure to have the video queued up at the start of Monday’sclass.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

It isn’t until his third period class is filingout the door on their way to their next class that he manages to fire off atext message to Katniss. Part of that is because he’s been debating about howto handle the accidental kiss. Eventually, he settles for acting like it didn’thappen, just to test the waters, see how she’s feeling, before he brings it up.

P: Thanks for the breakfast this morning. It wasdelicious.

K: Anytime. I figured you’d be running lateafter I kept you up last night with my venting.

P: Did talking it out help you sleep better atleast?

He feels a little guilty for waiting until nowto ask her how she slept last night after they spent hours on the phonediscussing a research grant she applied for and was having second thoughtsabout taking, since she’d be working for a colleague she’s butted heads withalready. It’d be good for her career, but Katniss is worried that the stresswon’t be worth the rewards. Here he’s been tied in knots over an accidentalkiss that he’s probably overanalyzing while she’s dealing with life alteringdecisions.

K: Sort of.

Peeta’s brow wrinkles at that. Usually she tellshim that his empathy when she unloads her problems on him and his calm voice asthey talk her through to a solution are exactly what she needed to help herrelax and lull her into peaceful slumber. He worries that maybe he wasn’t thefriend she needed last night, although he’s got no idea what he could’ve saidor done wrong. Since their friendship is the most important thing in the worldto him, he needs to be sure he didn’t give her a half-assed effort or saysomething bone-headed last night.

P: Am I losing my touch? ;-)

The first few students of his fourth periodclass wander into the room and he tucks his phone back into his pocket, even asit buzzes with a new message, to focus on greeting them. Katniss knows hisschedule; she’ll understand if he doesn’t respond for the next fifty minutes orso.

Pushing his rolled up sleeves a little furtherup his arms, he smiles at his class and gets back to work, shoving thoughts ofKatniss and worries about that not-a-real-kiss to the back of his mind. Itworks until his lunch break, when he takes a look at the text message she sentback to him.

K: Actually, it’s the opposite

What the hell does that mean?! He’s on the vergeof being a wreck for the rest of the day, and it’s a good thing he’s busybecause otherwise he’d fire something back, demanding an explanation. At theend of the day, he settles on something simple, deciding that this is aconversation to be had in person rather than over text where inflection andnonverbal cues can be lost or misinterpreted.

P: Are we still on for tonight?

K: See you at six

Relief and dread mingle in his middle as heleaves the school and heads for the grocery store with his short list. Reliefthat the last text from her sounded more like she’s acting like herself again,dread that they still haven’t even mentioned what happened this morning.

************************

TWENTY-TWO

Someone is pounding on his door, and all hereally wants to do is tell them to fuck off, but immediate guilt at theunkind thought sweeps through him and he opens the door.

“You’re taking me out for milkshakes, birthdayboy,” Katniss says, charging him and shoving him back in the apartment andtowards his room.

“Katniss, I–”

“No excuses. It’s your birthday, and while yourmother might be a complete bitch and an incompetent parent, I forbid you tomope.”

“It’s raining,” he says, tugging nervously onhis ratty t-shirt. She crosses her arms and scowls at him. With a sigh, heducks inside his bedroom and changes into jeans and a nice shirt. One with acollar and no holes in it, shoves his arms into the sleeves of his jacket andlifts one eyebrow at her, requesting her approval.

“Better,” she says with a perfunctory nod andopens the door before marching out like she’s royalty.

By the time they reach the new dessert parlor,Midnight Milkshakes, they’re both drenched and decide they want hot chocolateinstead. She gets marshmallows on hers while he asks for whipped cream andcinnamon. When they take their seats, she surprises him by sitting next to himin the booth instead of across from him.

He laughs lightly when she snuggles into hisside and drapes his arm around her, nearly making him spill his drink. She mustbe cold, but he’s not about to make her stop what she’s doing and rubs his handup and down her arm to work some warmth back into her.

“See?” she asks as he takes his first sip ofcocoa. “This is much better than a cruise in the Caribbean, right?”

There’s still a tiny part of him that’s angrywith his mother for taking a cruise over his birthday with her new husband, andhurt over his mother’s roll of the eyes and exasperated sigh when he brought itup. ‘You’re twenty-two, Peeta. You don’t need birthday parties anymore.’No, he doesn’t, but those cruises leave every few weeks. She could’ve picked adifferent date. Plus, he’d still like it if someone at least tried tomake the day special for him. Like Katniss is doing right now.

Sometimes, he still can’t believe the stroke ofluck that placed them at the same university, in the same economics class. Orthat led her to sit behind him the first day of class and find herself absorbedin his digital paintings. She’s his best friend and the one person he canalways count on, so he ignores the flip that his stomach does when she smilesup at him, moaning in delight at her cocoa. Again when they’re curled up on hiscouch beneath a blanket, Katniss in a pair of his borrowed sweats because theirclothes got further drenched in the rain on their way back here. And again whenshe yawns and rubs her cheek against his shirt.

“Keep talking, Peeta,” she urges him, her voicedrowsy with pending sleep. “Your voice is soothing.”

He’s not sure what he talks about, but when sheslips into slumber with a faint smile on her face, he wraps his arms around herand smiles himself, content with the way his birthday turned out. When he wakeswith Katniss still curled in his embrace, he sighs and decides the aches in hisneck and lower back from sleeping propped up on the couch like this are totallyworth it.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“So here’s the plan–”

“No,” Peeta cuts Graham off before his brothercan even get started. “Whatever crazy idea you’ve got in your head, expunge itright now.”

“Oh he’s using the AP English words. That’s howyou know you’re losing this fight, right, Graham?” Ryen laughs as he loosens histie and takes the milk from Peeta to put in the fridge and grabs three beers,passing one to each of his brothers.

“You got a better plan?” Graham asks as hetwists the cap off his beer and chucks it across the room into the trash can.

“Yeah,” Peeta says after taking a sip of his ownbeer. “You two get lost so I can actually have a pleasant birthday spent withmy best friend.”

“Oh christ,” Graham mutters and Ryen shakes hishead.

“What?” Peeta asks indignantly.

“You’re spending your twenty-fifth birthday withher?” Graham asks, sounding highly offended.

“Of course I am!”

“That’s a terrible decision,” Graham mutters andPeeta’s the one offended now.

“He’s right, Peeta,” Ryen says and they bothstare at him. “Well he is!”

“Thank you,” Graham says smugly.

“Don’t think so highly of yourself. I’m sayingthis for Peeta, not because I think your broke and almost divorced ass shouldever be listened to. Peeta, listen to me. Go fuck someone. Seriously. Maybethen you’ll get over this unrequited love you’ve been harboring for Katniss foryears.”

“Excuse me for wanting to spend my birthday withsomeone I actually like being around rather than some horny stranger you twodig up out of a misguided sense of taking care of me,” Peeta says and moves tofinish putting the groceries away. “And since it is my birthday, I suggest youtwo finish your drinks and get lost. She’ll be here any minute now.”

“Fine, fine, but only because it’s yourbirthday,” Ryen concedes, dragging a protesting Graham towards the living room.“Come on, ya bum, let’s go see if you’ve actually got decent bar hoppingclothes before we raid my closet.”

“Just pick up the living room before you go,will ya?” Peeta shouts after them.

“Just kiss her already, will ya?” Ryen returnsand Peeta’s cheeks burn with the humiliating reminder that he kind of alreadydid. And it was nothing like the first kiss he’s imagined a hundred thousandtimes.

Thankfully, though, his brother’s are busygetting ready to go by the time Katniss shows up with a bag of groceries in herhands and unable to humiliate him in front of her.

************************

TWENTY-THREE

He opens Skype ten minutes early, plugs in hislaptop and sets it to never sleep when plugged in. Just to be sure. Then hewalks away from his computer, certain that he won’t be hearing from her, eventhough she was very specific in her instructions. She’s got precious littleinternet time where she is, and he doesn’t want to miss it, but he’s trying notto get his hopes up. So far, he’s gotten Happy Birthday greetings and giftsfrom his brothers, but otherwise, twenty-three is indistinguishable fromtwenty-two. Peeta’s in the midst of preparing himself mentally to be let down whenhis laptop starts beeping and blooping with an incoming call.

The chair nearly slides out from under him inhis haste to sit down. He runs his hands through his hair and smiles beforepressing the green circle to answer. Immediate joy rushes through him when shesmiles at him.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta,” she says and his heartdoes somersaults, just so happy to hear her voice for the first time in months.

“Hey, beautiful,” he breathes out and sheblushes a little. He kicks himself for his blunder but keeps going in the hopesthat she won’t drag him on his birthday for it. “How’s the research going?”

She’s spent the past six months on a researchtrip for her masters degree in anthropology, somewhere in the AustralianOutback. Her passion is bringing to light the stories of people forgotten orerased from history around the world. While he couldn’t be more proud of herpursuit of her dreams or her success at securing the coveted grant that tookher to another country, he still misses her terribly.

“Great,” she says, and he takes the opening toask her a thousand questions he’s been saving for when they get to talk face toface. They’ve been restricted to e-mail and one very static filled call on asatellite phone due to the time difference and her rare access to the internetor postal services. After several minutes of conversation, she glances down ather wrist and shakes her head. “I’m almost out of time and we’ve barely talkedabout you!”

“Trust me, anything I have to say right now isfar less interesting. Grading papers, writing lesson plans, rereading ToKill a Mockingbird for the twelfth time.”

“You love that book,” she says with a lift ofher eyebrow.

“Maybe,” he shrugs.

“I got you something. I’m sorry I couldn’t getit there on time, but I want to carry it back myself. Not sure I trust ourpostal runners here with it.” She lifts a flat stone covered in colored dots –yellows, browns, reds, white, and even some greens – that form a sun shiningin a vibrant sky.

“Is that…?”

“It is. Ochre artwork,” she confirms.

“It’s beautiful, Katniss. I love it.”

“I thought you might,” she says as she sets itdown beside her and then gives him a grin. “But wait! There’s more!”

He laughs at her gameshow host imitation andnearly cries when she shows him the cover of a book, all about art techniquesof the aboriginal peoples of Australia. He has to scratch at the corner of hiseye to keep from crying. She’s over ten thousand miles away and still managedto find the perfect gift for him. Something that’s both her and him.

“I’m sorry it’s going to be late,” she murmurs,her face losing some of it’s happiness, probably because he’s a nitwit andnearly crying at her gift.

“No, don’t be. It’s perfect and I can’t wait tosee it in person because then you’ll be home, too,” he says, his voice soundinga little hoarse even to him. They manage a few more minutes before she has togo, but before she does, Katniss sings Happy Birthday to him, her voicesultry and soothing and perfect all at once. Perfectly wonderful and perfectlytormenting him.

When they hang up, he slowly shuts his laptopand then heads to bed early, needing to end his birthday on the best possiblenote.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“You sure you don’t want to join us,” Grahamasks as he and Ryen stand in the doorway that leads to the garage. “BringKatniss with you. She could be your wingman.”

Peeta grips tight to the edges of his temper.They probably don’t notice the way Katniss pinches her lips together in a scowland turns away to vigorously chop the vegetables for their dinner. It’s a suresign that she’s upset, and given what happened on his birthday last year, hewants this line of conversation to end quickly.

“There’s only so much that flying solo can accomplish,”Ryen joins in with a rude hand gesture and Peeta chucks the kitchen towel atthem to get them to leave. The rosy flush on the back of Katniss’ neck tellshim that she saw the gesture out of the corner of her eye, so now not only isshe upset over something, she’s also embarrassed. She never did like talkingabout physical intimacy.

“What’s that all about?” Katniss asks tightlyafter they’ve finally gone.

“Nothing important,” Peeta says and standsbeside her to help. She bumps her hip into his to try and move him away fromher, but he persists, snatching the vegetables and taking over the task ofchopping as she moves to slide the meat into the oven. “Graham’s decided thatsince he’s going to be a bachelor again, he’s dragging the rest of us intodebauchery right along with him.”

“They wanted to find you a one night stand foryour birthday?”

“Yeah,” he says and turns to ask a questionabout the food. He knows she’s curious but won’t like following that line ofquestioning. Talking about food distracts her, though. Within minutes, he’s gother smiling and laughing again, the discomfort of his brothers’ plans andcomments momentarily forgotten.

Once their dinner is ready, they take theirseats on the couch and Peeta scrolls through options until Katniss settles oncatching up on Outlander. For him, she insists. She’ll never admit thatthe love story intrigues her, especially the aspect of Claire’s torn loyaltiesbetween her husband and the man she’s clearly falling in love with.

************************

TWENTY-FOUR

“What the hell, Peeta?” she yells at him and hetries to shut his mouth, but can’t get over the shock at her unexpected fury.“You have a date tonight?!”

Her eyes ignite and he holds up his hands,unsure where exactly he went wrong. She’s been seeing some guy she works withat the university for the past four months and he didn’t think she’d care.They’ve gotten serious and it’s been slowly killing him to listen to her talk,to sound so happy in the arms of someone else. Hoping it would help him move onor forget, he asked Jackie, the red-haired girl at his book club, if she’d goon a date with him and didn’t tell her that the date was on his birthdaybecause he wants to forget and didn’t want to put that kind of pressure orexpectation or weirdness on a first date.

It’s his birthday, after all. Shouldn’the get to do what he wants?

Katniss sputters angrily when he vocalizes thatlast thought to her and throws something in his arms before she storms out ofthe house. He thinks about chasing after her, but he’s angry, too. Angry thatshe didn’t bother to make plans with him or mention anything about his birthdayuntil right this second. And yes, he’s to blame too, for neither asking herabout it nor bringing it up. But she’s been the one person the past four yearsto actually make his birthday special, and he had himself convinced that nowthat she’s got a boyfriend, she wouldn’t want to make a big deal out of Peeta’sbirthday anymore. Or maybe that she’d even forgotten. Her silence on the matterin the past few days only helped confirm that in his mind. He never dreamedshe’d be this upset over him having a date.

Fueled by anger and hurt, he leaves his place tomeet up with Jackie, but he’s distracted through dinner and lags in theconversation. Besides, his heart isn’t in it. He gave his heart to his bestfriend a long time ago, and is just pathetic enough to have never taken it back.

At the end of the date, he heads home andchanges into something to sleep in, although he’s probably not sleepingtonight. Not with thoughts of Katniss wreaking havoc on his mind. Finally, hesits on his bed with the thing she threw at him and carefully peels away thepaper, staring down at the butter soft cover before flipping it open andsighing. She put together a scrapbook of sorts. Pictures of them through theyears, a few of his sketches that disappeared and he’d wondered where they’dgone off to, ticket stubs that she’s saved, a few napkins with his doodles ortheir games of tic-tac-toe on them, pressed flowers from their hikes and otherassorted outdoor adventures. It’s perfect, beautiful.

With another deep sigh, he picks up his phoneand calls her, expecting her to ignore him, surprised when she answers with awavering voice.

“Hello?”

“Katniss, I’m sorry,” he says immediately. Shesniffles a little.

“I’m sorry, too, Peeta. You were right. It’syour birthday and you should get to do what you want. I just thought, well, Iguess I thought you’d want to do something with me.”

“I did. I do, Katniss. But you didn’t mention itonce. I assumed you had plans with Darius or something.”

“No. I should’ve said something to you soonerit’s just he… Well never mind what he said.”

“Okay, what did he say? You can’t drop a bomblike that and not tell me whether or not I need to go kick his ass for you,”Peeta says and Katniss laughs, because they both know that Peeta’s methods ofrevenge are far less direct but far more effective than a fist to the face, nomatter how much he’s wanted to punch any number of her sleazy ex-boyfriends inthe past.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says. “We broke up thismorning anyways.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Because it’s your birthday, Peeta, and I didn’twant to ruin it for you with my drama,” she says and he shakes his head,stunned that she hasn’t figured out yet that he would drop everything for her.In a heartbeat.

“I’ll be there in two minutes. Do you have stufffor hot chocolate?”

“Maybe? I don’t know?”

“Make it ten minutes then,” he says.

“Thank you, Peeta,” she whispers.

Fifteen minutes later, they’re curled up on hercouch, sipping hot chocolate and watching some dumb comedy that was queued upin her roommate’s Netflix. Katniss rests her head on his shoulder and he wrapshis arm around her, allowing her to get closer to him. He savors the momentswhen she laughs and he can both feel it and hear it, lets his hand skim up anddown her arm. Eventually, she starts to nod off and he carefully extricates hermostly empty mug from her grip before setting it on the end table.

“Stay with me tonight, Peeta,” she murmurs as hecarries her to her bedroom. She nuzzles her way further into his embrace. It’snot an unusual request of hers. They’ve shared a bed before. And even thoughthey didn’t do anything big to celebrate his birthday this year, there’snowhere else he’d rather spend it than right here with her.

“Always,” he whispers when they’re settledbeneath her covers and her body relaxes beside him as she slips away intoslumber.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“So maybe we should do the cake now,” Katnisssuggests as Peeta hands her a few more plain candles. “Why do you have so manyof these?”

“Leftovers from Ryen’s last seriousrelationship. Something about seduction by candlelight on Valentine’s Day.” Helaughs when Katniss drops them on the counter like they’re hot coals. Shegathers them back up as he shuts the cabinet and climbs down from the stepstool, pointing the way with the flashlight as they work their way around theliving room, setting up the candles and lighting them.

A chill works its way down Peeta’s spine as thethunder rolls and rumbles outside. The rain lashes the windows in a crescendoas the wind picks up, then gradually softens. A freak storm rolled throughbefore they were even twenty minutes into the episode they were watching andknocked out the power. He’s already checked on his brothers, who made it safelyto some hip bar Graham wanted to check out before the storm hit.

Once they’ve got enough light in the room, Peetaflops back down on the couch and Katniss resumes her spot from earlier, tuckedinto his side with one hand resting on his thigh. He shifts nervously,listening to the storm and wondering what they should talk about. This usuallyisn’t a problem for them, so he starts by asking about her day at work.

The candles cast a soft glow over the room asthey talk in soft tones, which would usually help him relax and make himdrowsy, but Katniss’ hand keeps drifting up and down his thigh. And it’s havinga disastrous effect on him. His jeans grow tighter by the second. For now,she’s oblivious, but he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable with how turnedon he’s getting by a little innocent cuddling and conversation.

When her hand travels a touch higher than herprevious passes over his leg, he shifts to keep her hand away from his groin.Katniss turns her head to look up at him. “Are you alright, Peeta?”

“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She shrugs slightly and chews on her lip. Peetasighs, sensing that they’ve finally gotten to the point where they’ll need totalk about that awkward kiss.

“Katniss, about this morning,” he says,reminding himself of how irreplaceable her friendship is in his life. “It wasan accident. I didn’t know you were…anyways, I don’t want things to getawkward between us because I moved my face at the wrong time.”

“It’s fine, Peeta,” she says, sounding irritatedand looking away from him. He can’t even manage an apology for kissing herwithout offending her, how can he possibly expect to actually kiss her? And headmits that he’s been thinking about it. More than usual, at least.

“I’m just sorry you got stuck here with meinstead of having a passionate fling,” she mutters. “Not the best birthdayever, is it?”

He stares down at her, thinking she’s lost hermind. Katniss squirms a little under his scrutiny until he speaks. “Believe me,there’s no competition. There’s nowhere else and no one else I’d rather be withright now.”

He hopes his voice isn’t as husky and adoring asit sounds in his mind. She blinks slowly and for a second, he thinks she dropsher gaze to his mouth, but this is Katniss. His best friend. His best friendwho was annoyed ten seconds ago when he brought up their sort-of a kiss. Thenshe slowly licks her lips and he follows the path of her tongue as it retreatsback into her mouth before her teeth tug on the glistening surface he wants sobadly to taste.

“Who says you can’t have both?” she whispers.

His brain comes to a screeching halt, completewith clanging metal and shattering glass. Because if he didn’t know any better,he’d think that his best friend whom he’s been in love with for at least twoyears, probably longer, just suggested that they have sex. Tonight. On hisbirthday.

He searches her eyes for some sign that he heardher right. Her gray eyes remain focused on him, wide and uncertain. Her chestrises with quick breaths that puff through her parted lips. She leans towardshim and every few seconds, her body trembles.

“Peeta…if it hadn’t been an accident…wouldyou have…wanted to kiss me?”

He’s expecting a strategically placed clap ofthunder to announce his impending doom, because he has no idea how or why thisconversation has taken this turn. Slowly, so he doesn’t frighten her or disturbthe threads holding them together, he nods.

“Show me,” she whispers, and that’s when hestops thinking and acts on whatever the hell mood just struck the two of them,lifting his hand to cup her cheek. She smiles tremulously and leans into hispalm. He nearly shouts with joy and caresses his thumb over her lower lip,watches the plump flesh respond to his touch. Her eyes flutter shut and heswears he hears her sigh.

He lowers his head to hers, still expecting tobe rudely awakened and realize that he fell asleep on the couch and the pastfew minutes have been nothing more than another dream. More wishful thinking.Or for her to shove him away and yell at him that he completely misreadeverything.

But then she makes a noise of frustration, grabsa fistful of his shirt in her hand and tugs on it. His body and his mindfinally come to a consensus and he caresses his lips over hers. Once to hearthe sharp inhale of expectation. Another for the soft whine that tells him shereally does want him to kiss her. Then he tilts his head the smallest amount sohe doesn’t crush her nose when his lips join with hers and he wraps his armtighter around her, turns so that her chest smashes into his.

She doesn’t run or push him away. Doesn’t remindhim that they’re friends. Instead, Katniss winds her fingers through his hair,meeting each movement of his lips with one of her own. For a moment, he thinksto pinch himself, to make sure that this is real, but that would require him toremove a hand from her, something he’s not willing to do. His head spins withquestions and desires.

Eventually, Katniss moves to lay back on thecouch, dragging him down with her. They shift limbs and hands awkwardly, stillfused at the mouth. He tries to focus on one sense at a time, to memorize hertaste, the feel of her lips on his, the sounds she makes in the back of herthroat, the scent of her soap a familiar tether to reality as they kiss. Andkiss.

Without much space, his knee slips off the couchand he has to brace his foot on the floor, even as she lifts her legs to wraparound his waist, firmly pulling him down on top of her, fingers skimming overhis neck, scraping his scalp. She moans and opens her mouth beneath his, lettinghim feel the sound as it ripples across his tongue. He returns it as theircores align, the grip her legs have on him pulling him flush against her. Hecan’t help the quick thrust into her, can’t help but revel at the heat thatsurrounds them and the friction between them, can’t help the quick leap tothinking about what this would feel like if they were both naked.

She gasps and backs away from the kiss. Peetamentally berates himself.

Too fast. Much too fast.

“Sorry,” he mutters, trying to leave herembrace, but she clings to him.

“For what?” she breathes and he stares at her,lips swollen, eyes glassy, cheeks flushed. A thrill of arrogance runs throughhim, clouding his better intentions to slow things down. He did that. He madeKatniss look like this, ripe for loving.

“For…rushing things?” he asks uncertainly.

“I don’t feel rushed,” she admits, her fingerstoying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You don’t,” he whispers and she shakes herhead.

“Unless…unless you don’t want–”

“No,” he says in a rush. Her brows snap togetherin a scowl and he hurries to fix the damage his haste has created. “I want to.You have no idea how much or how long I’ve wanted this, Katniss. But that’sjust it. I don’t want to scare you.”

“Why do you think I’d be scared?” she asks,still scowling. He hears his brothers’ taunts in his head, calling him ‘oldman.’ He’s not old, not even close, but an image of him and Katniss in rockingchairs, gray and wrinkled with five feet of space and no words of love betweenthem hits him just then. Screw it. He’ll find a way to repair friendship laterif he’s wrong. He can’t take the chance that he might miss out on this becausehe’s afraid.

“Because I’m helplessly in love with you, Katniss.I have been for years,” he murmurs. She smiles. Astonishing and radiant. Hisheart thunders to life at the sight of that expression. Her hand slowly bringshis lips back down to hers.

“Then stop trying to run off when I’m trying tokiss you,” she says and he laughs lightly for a second before kissing heragain.

This time, he doesn’t hold back, taking the timeto kiss her deeply. To let his hand wander up and down her side, to slipbeneath her sweater and skim the smooth skin of her belly, up to her ribs anddown, ever so slowly working his way higher.

Shock jolts through him when his fingers brushthe underside of her breast and find no bra barring the way. Lust followsswiftly behind as he cups the perky mound in his hand and she arches into him,moaning desperately. Loud enough to muffle the thunder overhead. Her legs clamparound him and after that, he loses track of who touches where and when. He’slost in the need to feel every inch of her because it is better for him totouch and discover than lose his sanity in thoughts of wasted time.

He kisses her cheeks and eyelids, nibbles on herears and neck, moves his hips to the rhythm of her gasping moans and quietpleas of nothing but ‘yes’ and ‘Peeta.’ Her hands move to his jeans to unfastenhis belt and slip the button through its loop. The release of pressure when shelowers his zipper snaps him back to some semblance of thinking and he pullsback to halt her hands.

“Don’t you want…?”

“More than anything,” he whispers, kissing herlips swiftly before turning them on the couch so she’s reclining against theback and he’s kneeling before her on the floor. Because he’s still not surewhere this is going or how much she’ll allow him, and he refuses to waste his chanceto do the one thing that has driven his fantasies of her for years.

He frantically undoes her jeans, ignoring theclank of his own belt as it flaps freely. Gripping her jeans, he tugs them downher legs, urging her to lift her hips to help. When they’re off and discardedto the side, he glances back up at her, notes that her smile still flirts withher lips. As he reaches for her panties, though, he freezes with his hands inmidair at the image of her like this. Katniss shifts her legs impatiently. Orperhaps nervously.

“Beautiful,” he whispers, fingers tracing overthe sunset hued flowers on her panties. His favorite colors. He wonders if shewore these on purpose today or if it’s coincidence. When he looks up at herface, she’s holding her fists near her mouth, chewing lightly on her thumbnails. He wracks his brains for a way to get her to laugh, to relax again.

“For me?” he asks with a cheeky grin. “Youshouldn’t have.”

Then she laughs, a little breathless but it’sstill one of hers, and helps him slide the panties down her legs. He lifts oneleg by her ankle and drops soft kisses to the delicate skin. Up one centimeterat a time, stealing brief glances at her face to make sure she’s still withhim. When he reaches her knee, he drapes her leg over his shoulder and keepsgoing. Kisses. Soft bites. Slow licks. The higher he travels, the faster andlouder she breathes until he reaches his goal and she releases a singing sighof relief. Her hips undulate beneath his mouth, her hands curving over the backof the couch to anchor herself.

He’s drunk on her taste in seconds, lost in thehooded gaze she bestows on him when he looks up at her. With a teasing dip ofhis tongue, he moves to the side and down her other leg. Katniss whimpers androlls her hips towards him again and he holds back his chuckle, still stunnedthat she seems to want this as badly as him.

“I love the way you taste,” he whispers as henuzzles her thigh and kisses down to her knee before returning where she wantshim. “I love everything about you.”

When he makes it back, she lets loose a moanthat sounds more like a song to him. He makes it his life goal to get her tomake that noise endlessly until she comes on his tongue. One hand grips hishair, and she begs him not to stop as her nails scorch his scalp. He risks aglance up at her face, twisted in effort. Peeta shifts enough to slide firstone then a second finger between her lips, nearly coming right then at theincredible warmth that greets him, the gentle tug of her walls that tells himshe’s close.

Her body bows on the couch as she wails hisname. Then she snaps back and curls in on him, legs clamping down and holdinghim in place as she pulses against his fingers and tongue. It’s everything he’sdreamt of and more.

Katniss flops back on the couch when she’s done,panting and flushed with her release. Slowly, he pulls his fingers from her andplants one last kiss on her before sitting back as her legs fall away from him.Her eyes flutter open in time for her to watch him lick his fingers clean ofher. She shudders and then covers her mouth, but not before a giggle escapesher. And then another from behind her hands.

“What’re you thinking?” he asks, scared of theanswer.

“We should’ve done this sooner, birthday boy,”she says and his cock jumps at her sultry tone. Her eyes widen and she sits upon the couch. “You weren’t supposed to do that!”

“Do what?” Peeta’s heart sinks at her words, andhe stands up to put some distance between them. But her hands grasp at his jeansand pull him towards her instead.

“It’s your birthday, not mine,” she says,confusing him because she sounds annoyed with him, but at the same time, she’syanking his clothes down.

“I wanted to,” he insists. And then her lipswrap around him and his assertion that he’s wanted to eat her out like that foryears gets lost in his strangled curse.

He tangles his fingers in her hair and tries toslow her down, but time and months of celibacy and the taste of her still onhis tongue and years of fantasies work against him. It only takes a few hardsucks of her mouth before the sensation becomes too much. He manages to pullher off of him and cup his hand over himself just in time.

As soon as the euphoria passes, the shame takesits place. He grabs his clothes and tugs them up just enough, turns away fromher in embarrassment, mumbling an apology before retreating into his bathroomto clean himself up, taking one of the candles with him. He’s a little moreharsh with his body than he needs to be, humiliated that he blew his load likea fucking teenager the second she touched him.

“Peeta,” she calls to him through the door andknocks softly before opening it. He curses himself for not locking it andfocuses on tucking himself back in his shorts and washing his hands and face sohe doesn’t have to see her disappointment with him in her eyes.

Her hands slide beneath his shirt, startling himas she embraces him from behind. “Are you mad at me?”

“No,” he says, stunned by her question. He meetsher eyes in the mirror, peeking over his shoulder. “I’m mad at myself.”

“You shouldn’t be,” she whispers. “I likedmaking you lose control that fast. And I especially liked what you did to mebefore that.”

They stare at one another for a minute, andPeeta wonders how they proceed from here. The awful thought occurs to him thatshe meant this as a one night thing. After all, that’s what his brothers hadintended, and all of this started with her saying he could have both. Both hotsex with a one night stand and a night spent with his best friend.

But now that he knows what she tastes like, whathis name sounds like flying off her tongue when she’s in the middle of coming,he’s not willing to let that go.

“Katniss, I’m still helplessly in love with you.I want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you.”

“Well then come to bed, Peeta,” she whispers.She doesn’t let go of him as he lets his jeans fall to the floor and kicks theminto the corner. Even as he brushes his teeth, she keeps one hand on him whilebrushing her own with the toothbrush she keeps in his bathroom. She doesn’t letgo of him as they clean up their dinner mess, extinguish the candles, andeventually, she leads him to his own bed, crawling beneath the covers first andlooking back at him expectantly.

“We should maybe take things slow, yeah? So noone gets hurt,” he says quietly. She lifts one shoulder but doesn’t look awayfrom him.

“Okay. But we’ve shared a bed before, Peeta,”she reminds him. He laughs, although it sounds nervous or maybe hysterical tohis own ears. He runs a hand through his hair and then climbs into his bed.

As he settles beside her, she wriggles into hisarms and then cups his face in her hands before kissing him. The kiss soothesmany of his fears, but he knows they’ll still need to talk a little in themorning.

************************

TWENTY-FOUR

Bright May sunshine warms the earth, greetingthe newly bloomed flowers in the yard. Guests mingle and Peeta adds hiscarefully chosen present to the small stack before making his way over towardsthe grill where Katniss is engaged in a heated discussion with a tall,dark-haired guy he doesn’t recognize.

She looks up and smiles at Peeta, sending hisheart tripping over itself before she meets him halfway and throws her armsaround his neck.

“Happy Birthday, Katniss,” Peeta murmurs intoher neck.

“Cut the crap. What’d you bring me?” she asksand he laughs, but points out his gift on the picnic table. She hurries overand tears into it.

“Aren’t you supposed to wait until after we singto you?” he teases.

Katniss scowls at him, but the glint of mischiefin her eyes tells him that she’s not truly angry with him. She flips open thesmall box and he holds his breath, waiting for her reaction. Her hand tremblesas she runs a finger over the delicate silver locket with the bird engraved onit. Carefully pulling the necklace from its cushion, she holds it in her palmand opens it, gasping slightly when she sees the pictures.

Lately, she’s been missing her family more. Herparents and her sister. Peeta managed to get his hands on pictures of them, allsmiling and happiness, and tucked them into the locket to remind Katniss thatshe’s never alone. To remind her of the people who love her when she’s off onresearch trips or responsibility and distance conspire to keep her from herloved ones a little longer than she’d like.

“For when you miss them,” he says quietly,hoping he hasn’t stepped over the line. But she looks up at him with glisteningeyes and hands it to him before turning her back to him and lifting her hair.

“Help me put it on?” she asks.

“Of course,” he says and gently lays it acrossher throat. Once the necklace is clasped, he squeezes her shoulder and she letsher hair fall back into place.

“I love it, Peeta,” she says, turning to facehim again. She rests her hands on his shoulders and rises on her toes, pressinga kiss to his cheek. “It’s perfect.”

“Good, because I’m pretty sure they don’t takereturns,” he says to cover they way he’s flushing and trembling at the firstever brush of her lips on his skin. She laughs, but then Johanna shouts for herand Katniss leaves him with a sigh.

He wishes he could have more of her time, butthe gathered crowd demands much of her attention. When he does get a momentwith her, he points out that she’s clearly got droves of adoring friends. Shecomes back claiming they’re all there for the free food, a typical Katnissresponse that makes him laugh.

Halfway through the meal, he’s sent to thekitchen to grab another container of potato salad from the fridge. On the wayback, he’s stopped dead in his tracks before he rounds the corner of the houseby the conversation he hears.

“You’re not even the least bit upset that hecame here with Madge and they’re now sucking face?” Johanna asks, and Peetaknows she’s talking about Darius, Katniss’ ex-boyfriend, who showed up to theparty as Madge’s guest. Which means Johanna is talking to Katniss. He shouldannounce his presence rather than eavesdrop.

“God no. He can suck face with whomever hewants,” Katniss responds without a trace of anger, malice, hurt, or evenjealousy in her voice.

“I knew it. You’re in love with him,” Johannacrows.

“I am not,” Katniss insists.

“Not Darius, Brainless. The one that caused yourbreakup with Darius,” Johanna drops her voice and Peeta’s ears perk up asKatniss speaks again.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she insists, butthere’s a hitch in her voice that tells Peeta she’s lying. His heart plummetsto his toes and he braces a hand on the side of the house. Katniss is in lovewith someone. It was only a matter of time, but he thought he had more of it.

Ever since she’d broken up with Darius, Peetahas been working up the courage to finally tell her how he feels about her. Itwouldn’t be easy or simple, he reminded himself. Their friendship means theworld to him, and to her too, he hopes. Risking it on a romantic relationshipmight kill it or hurt them both. So he planned on being delicate about bringingit up, emphasizing that he’d do everything in his power to keep theirfriendship alive, to include burying his feelings as deep as necessary if theyturned out to be as one sided as he suspects. But now it sounds like it doesn’tmatter anyways. He waited too long.

“Oh come on. We both know Darius dumped youbecause he knew it, too. It’s all over your face every time you’re around him.You need to get on that before someone else does,” Jo keeps going despiteKatniss’ protests. “I’m just saying, there’s any number of ladies who wannaclimb him like a tree. Plus, he’s head over heels for you.”

He’s heard enough and back tracks to open theside door to the house before slamming it shut to give them a warning andwalking back around the house with a smile on his face. He manages to smile atthem both as he walks by on his way to take the salad to the buffet table.

Five minutes later as Katniss fills her platewith seconds, the tall and dark-haired guy from earlier rubs elbows with herand talks to her quietly.

“Oh, Peeta, this is Gale,” she introduces them,a pretty flush on her face. “Gale and I went to the same high school together.”

“Yeah?” Peeta asks as he shakes Gale’s hand.

“Ran into one another back in February, was it?”Gale says, glancing at Katniss for confirmation. Peeta misses whatever shesays, his mind caught on the timing, so close the day she and Darius broke up.And this is the first he’s heard mention of Gale at all. Which means they’vebeen seeing each other and Katniss hadn’t seen fit to tell Peeta, her bestfriend, about it. He swallows the lump of hurt this revelation causes.

They talk for a minute, but when Katnissfinishes her food and tosses her plate in the trash, any miniscule hope Peetahad left is smashed to pieces. Gale leans down towards Katniss and murmurssomething that makes her laugh, her head thrown back and a satisfied smile onGale’s face as he leads her off to the side, away from Peeta.

He’s not blind. He can tell Gale’s handsome.Tall, dark, taciturn, and brooding. Mysterious. Traditionally masculine basedon his conversation about archery and backpacking through Peru, fishing andhunting. The classic literary hero. And Katniss seems so at ease around him,that Peeta now knows Gale must be the one Johanna was referring to.

He reminds himself that his feelings are hisproblem to get over, and for the next few months, focuses on being just herfriend. Like always. It’d hurt far more to have her cut him out of her lifecompletely should her relationship with Gale escalate, so Peeta concentrates onbeing the best friend possible, making sure she knows he’ll always be there forher, no matter what. All the while, he braces himself for the blow to hisheart. But it never arrives.

Sometime around New Years, Gale starts datingone of Katniss’ coworkers instead, reawakening his hopes.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

Peeta’s not sure what wakes him. He lays in thedark trying to place the sounds. There’s movement beside him in the bed andthen a sharp inhale.

“Katniss?” he asks, reaching out to turn on thebedside lamp, grateful that the power’s been restored, before rolling over tocheck on her. Sometimes she has nightmares about a car wreck that nearly killedher entire family when she was a teenager. Her eyes are wide and hazy as shewatches him, her cheeks stained with heat, her entire body rigid. “Are youokay?”

“Fine,” she gasps. “Just couldn’t sleep.”

“You don’t sound fine,” Peeta says and scootscloser to her. She flinches back away from him. His brow furrows in confusion,but as the seconds tick by, the appalled look still on her face, Peeta acceptswhat he feared earlier. That whatever happened between them was not some grandconfession of her love for him after all, but just a one night stand. And nowshe probably regrets it. “Okay. I’ll just go sleep on the couch. Give you somespace.”

“Graham sleeps there,” Katniss says, promptingPeeta to look at the time on his phone. It’s not even midnight yet. Rain stilldrums on the roof, steady and heavy, although he doesn’t hear any thunder.

“They won’t be home for a few more hours. He cansleep on the floor,” Peeta says and moves to stand from the bed.

“Wait!” Katniss says and grabs his arm. Peetastares down at her hand, at the two fingers glistening in the faint light. Hecan feel the sticky moisture coating them. Slowly, he lifts his gaze to her asthe realization of what she was doing dawns on him.

The very thought that she was doing that besidehim, in his bed, coupled with her tight grip on his arm sends desire screamingthrough his body. She huffs before releasing him, but he grips her wrist andbrings her hand towards his face. It’ll probably scare the shit out of her, buthe’s already told her that he’s in love with her, so what’s one more gamble?

He can smell her arousal on her fingers andwatches her eyes turn limpid with desire as he opens his mouth and sets herfingers on his tongue before sucking. The taste confirms his suspicions. He’snever forgetting this taste as long as he lives.

“Were you touching yourself, Katniss?” he asks,the lack of sleep removing his usual filters. She licks her lips and flexes herfingers, her wrist still in his hold.

“Maybe,” she whispers and he waits for furtherexplanation. She seems to come to a decision and scoots closer to him, leanstowards him. “I didn’t want to bother you, but I…I was thinking about you,Peeta. I always think about you.”

His stomach flips over and his cock stirs tolife at her confession. These aren’t things Katniss would share easily or withjust anyone. She guards her heart and her desires like they’re gold in FortKnox most of the time. Too many dates and boyfriends who claimed to love herfiery spirit only to try to douse it once they had her has made her cautious.Peeta wants to destroy every last one of them for nearly destroying one of thethings that draws him to her.

“But there’s more,” she whispers and he smilesslightly at the memory of his birthday two years ago. “I feel the same way.”

It takes him a moment to catch up, but when hedoes, his heart soars. “You’re helplessly in love with me?”

“I am,” she says with a slow nod. “I have beenfor a long time. I’m not sure how long, but I know that I don’t want whathappened earlier tonight to be the last time we do those things together.”

Peeta shifts beneath the covers to move in onher and Katniss reaches out to palm him through his shorts, making himimpossibly hard. “I thought we were taking things slow.”

“Slow? We’ve both wanted this for years, Peeta.Don’t you think that’s slow enough?” she asks, one eyebrow climbing up herforehead as her lips curl into a smile.

“Fair enough,” he says, relieved when she twiststheir hands so she’s gripping his wrist and pulls his hand straight to hercenter. She moans at the first touch of his fingers, the sound needy enoughthat he barely registers that her panties are nowhere on her body. “Fuck you’realready so wet. Next time you can’t sleep…wake me up and I’ll gladly help.”

“Oh, okay. I will,” she whispers. A thoughtoccurs to him and he needs to know, another piece that would mean she didn’tmake this choice on a whim.

“When I asked you earlier today if I was losingmy touch–”

“Oh my god,” she moans, gripping his arms as hecurls his fingers inside her. His cock jumps eagerly when he feels just howaroused she already is.

“What did you do after we hung up last night?”

“This. Oh, Peeta,” she admits breathlessly.

He hasn’t even made a wish on birthday candlesyet today, and here his wishes are all coming true. He strokes her folds andlatches his mouth around one nipple after she tears her shirt from her body.Her hands claw at his shirt too, but he waits until she’s writhing and pleadingwith him, telling him that she needs him, before he stops kissing and touchingher long enough to remove his clothes. His hands fumble around in hisnightstand before he finds a condom. He squints at the expiration date, hisvision clouded as Katniss’ teeth tug on his earlobe and her body writhesbeneath him.

“Hurry. Now,” she urges when he’s able to makeout that it’s still good, if only just. Once he has it on, their hands grip andtug, bodies shift until he’s sliding inside of her.

“Finally,” she sighs when he’s buried all theway, his pulse thrumming madly and his arms shaking in the effort to keep frompounding into her mindlessly.

“You love me,” he whispers as he pulls out tilljust his head is still inside her.

“I do, Peeta,” she gasps as he plunges back in.

“Why’d we wait so long?” he groans as he gripsthe sheets beside her ribs and moves slowly, so he doesn’t hurt her.

“I don’t know anymore,” she says threading herfingers through his hair and bringing his mouth to hers. They kiss as he moves,building her up to the point she can’t take it anymore.

He can’t decide if he’d rather kiss her orwatch, and ends the kiss to rest his forehead on hers and do the latter, awedby the open desire and need in her gray eyes. “God Katniss, I wish I’d beenbraver sooner. Had spoken up a year ago when I wanted to.”

“Shut up and make up for it now,” she orders.She writhes beneath him, tangling the sheets around their legs, moaning witheach thrust until she bends upwards and grips the slats of his headboard withone hand.

“Please. Peeta, please,” she whines. “Don’t makeme wait any longer.”

He moves faster, encouraged by the singing wailsof delight that fly from her throat and dance through his senses along with theecstasy of being inside her. She demands everything from him and he gives it,gripping the headboard with one hand next to hers, to give himself betterleverage, shouting when her nails rake over his shoulder and back, trailing firethrough his blood with her eager moans and desperate thrusts meeting his. Thebed squeaks and the headboard keeps time against the wall. Their slick skinslides and sticks and burns at every touch. It’s never been this loud, intense,or uninhibited with anyone before and he shoves aside regrets that he didn’tspeak up sooner to live fully in this moment, to focus on her first tremors onhis cock.

“Like that. Ung! Just like that, Peeta!” sheexclaims, her eyes locked on his, and then her words dissolve into incoherentsounds of elation as he twists his hips until her walls cease their clenching.His arms shake and she practically purrs as she moves her hips against his,whispers to him to keep going, to come for her.

The headboard once more thumps against the wallin time with his desperate grunts. He tries not to pound her like an animal,but her claws in his skin and the things she whispers to him drive him out ofhis mind with need. He’s hanging off the edge until she demands that he ‘letgo’ and he thrusts twice more, releasing a gut wrenching shout as euphoriaburns through him. Peeta falls still as he fills the condom, his orgasm lastinglonger than any he can remember. He practically blacks out from the intense pleasureand has to roll to the side to keep from crushing her when he collapses.

He lays there with his eyes closed and theirlegs entangled, catching his breath and trailing his fingers through the sheenof sweat on her skin, listening to her ragged breathing as they slowly driftback down.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta. Told you that you couldhave both,” she whispers as she rolls over to cuddle into his side. He holdsher there and smiles, opening one eye and checking the clock on his phone,surprised when he sees that the time is 11:58. So it is still his birthday.Setting the phone down, he gathers her in his embrace and kisses her, slow andsavoring each touch, each soft smacking sound of their mouths. The thoughtdrifts through his mind that his brother was wrong. The best thing to everhappen to him occurred on his twenty-fifth birthday, and he’s certain that itcan only get better from here.

“I never gave you your present,” she pouts atone point, making Peeta laugh.

“You mean there’s more?”

**********************

Although Katniss staying the night is nothingnew, they’re careful about their appearance the next morning as they wanderinto the kitchen for breakfast, not wanting to give his brothers anything toantagonize them over. Peeta’s surprised to see both of his brothers awake,leaning against the kitchen counter and drinking coffee, a plate of muffinsfresh from the oven sitting on the island. Both of them appear cheerful and notthe least bit hungover.

“Morning,” he says as Katniss slides into one ofthe stools at the island and he starts the water for tea.

“Good morning indeed,” Ryen says, making thehair on the back of Peeta’s neck stand on edge. He turns to say something, buthis brother cuts him off. “We didn’t get a chance to give you your cake lastnight. But last minute changes needed to be made to the message, so I guess itturned out better this way.”

Katniss lifts the lid off the plastic cakecaddy, her face almost instantly turning a splotchy red before she drops thelid back in place and stares up at Peeta with wide eyes.

He’s by her side in two steps as his brothersboth double over in laughter. At first, Katniss tries to stop him from looking,and he’s now a little scared of what he’ll find beneath the lid, but then shesighs and shrugs, flipping the lid off for him herself and smiling wryly.

“Guess they got home earlier than we thought,”she says and Peeta looks down at the messy frosting job that clearly indicateshis brothers scraped off the original icing and replaced it with the four wordsin bright blue.

Congrats on the Sex!

He opens his mouth to yell at his brothers forbeing insensitive assholes, but Katniss laughs and then yanks his head down tohers, stopping his words and his annoyance at his brothers with her lips onhis. He loses himself quickly in the kiss and only vaguely hears his brothers’reaction.

“So does this mean you’ll have an open bedroomsoon?”

“Oh fuck no. Don’t leave me with him, Peeta,”Ryen whines.

Peeta lifts his head and pushes the cake towardshis brother. “Have some cake, Ryen. It’ll make you feel better.” Then hedeposits the plate of fresh muffins in Katniss’ hands, scoops her out of herchair, and carries her and the muffins back to bed…so they can have both.

228 notes · View notes