#love that for him and the result that decima is getting

[stellarhistoria]

"Yes, ah... actually, I could probably just send them both a message right now to let them know we're running around and might stop by Mondstadt. Two of them have my vision, after all." he says with a quiet understanding that showing up out of the blue would make one of them very huffy and he hates seeing them pout over something, small or big.

he looks up towards the sky as he falls silent, continuing his long legged stride with easy pace to follow, breathing slow and quiet, almost as if he were sleeping while awake. only for him to blink and jolt back to reality and shake his head, smirking at something. seems he got a response back.

"Seems like both my first chosen and my daughter are in Mondstadt right now. Meaning his wife will also be in town nearby. That will be fun." his gaze drifts back to decima, reaching out to place a hand on their head to ruffle their hair gently. "You'll be able to meet people I brought from home."

" And I love you, too, " You responded quietly, blinking a little as you glanced at him. It's been... centuries now, since you've last felt the love of a parent. ( you missed your dad to death. ) But you were slowly starting to slowly regain that parental love, thanks to Broker. You paused for a moment, before shaking your head.

" You haven't-! " There was some enthusiasm lacing your words, your eyes sparkling a little. You were always interested in hearing about others' and their personal lives, it was always so interesting, and it always offered some insight of people you wouldn't know.

" Chaotic duo... That just sounds like my older brother and I when we were kids, or my friend Mari and I, " You couldn't help but snort a little. " I wouldn't know anything about the one who lives in Fontaine, but I might've heard about the one in Mondstadt - I live in the Whispering Woods, but I still might've heard about them! Tell me about them. "

[ottosbigtop]

No because the episode where they finally open the door that you only open When You Are Alone really solidified something about Hilbert in my brain that makes me insane. He gets this whole monologue from Cutter’s recording about how, hey congrats, you fucked over your team! Good job! Please politely sit yourself on this chair and rot away in space at your earliest convenience ^_^ dw your awesome project notes will be saved and sent to us tho so that’s fine!

And Lovelace calls attention to the fact. They’re going to leave him to die in space while they (supposedly) carry on his work back on Earth. And ??? He doesnt ? Care ? As long as his work is still being carried out and supposedly making a difference, he doesn’t need to be attached to the final product. He can just die in space, no one ever knowing the lengths he went through while working on decima, project taken over by someone else entirely, and he’s fine with that.

Something about that disconnect, that lack of ego in a specific way just really. Does something. To me. Hes obviously got insane hangups about his work but whatever commitment he has to it goes beyond his own ego. He doesn’t need to be the one who reaps the rewards, who’s recognized for the changes he thinks decima might make.

“But my work would have made it back to earth. Everything I’ve done would… It would have made a difference. I find that perfectly equitable.”

Just something about the amount of dehumanization of Himself as well as the look into the fact that he is trying to do good, if in no one’s eyes but his own. As long as the virus is doing what he made it to do. Who cares what happens to him in the process. He just has to be alive long enough to get results. Kicking rocks. God i love this podcast.

[spackeets-written-madness]

One Scholar to Another

A small gift to a friend that wanted to learn more about Cyssa Scourgepaw’s general personality so I wrote this. Something that happened in the past.

Description: Midona both loves and hates Trehearne, her niece, Cyssa Scourgepaw sets out to talk with the other scholar and form a deal. Fandom: Guild Wars 2 Characters: My own, Moma and Surinus ( @nonsense-with-sottises ), Midona, Auderen and Kyrus ( @the-bubble-opera ) and Trehearne Setting: Core, 1325 ae Words: 2214

It was not often that the two warbands met, but when they did, Midona Strifeheart, Pact Commander and Legionnaire of the Strife warband insisted on cooking for all of them; and made sure that there were seconds as well as plenty of space. The other warband in question was the Scourge warband, a skeleton warband much like Midona’s own and run by her niece: Legionnaire Cyssa Scourgepaw. Midona herself also brought some additionals with her: Surinus Ripmind and Paulina Ripclaw, both from another warband and having been invited by Midona to meet the rest of her ‘family’ and have dinner.

Cyssa Scourgepaw was standing next to her own partner, Moma Scourgewind as they both watched Surinus talk with Midona and Kyrus. The pink-haired charr turned to her ruddy-furred partner. “Bet you he doesn’t last three days with her,” she commented. Moma simply chuckled and nodded. 

Unfortunately her comment was heard by another of her warband and Faustus Scourgefang included himself into the conversation. “You don’t have to be mean,” he said as he walked closer to the pair.

Cyssa turned to her bandmate with a done look and slightly raised brow. “Have you met my aunt?” was the only thing she asked with a slight hint that he might have missed a point.

Faustus thought a bit. “Hmmm, well...She ain’t so bad, rough around the edges - though the same can be said for most charr. She’s also kind, motherly, endearing and -” he paused and looked at Cyssa’s expression. It clicked. “Ah… You meant her enemies.”

“Yes I did you blockhead, are your horns too big that they hamper brain-space?” the young necromancer insulted the engineer.

Faustus ignored the insult since it was not the first time he had been insulted by his Legionnaire. “One of these days, I’ll pick up when you mean one thing and not the other,” he commented. 

“And I will celebrate that day.”

Any other conversation was interrupted by a loud snarl conjoined with a sudden and terrified yelp, the three standing around turned their heads to see Paulina holding Fabias Scourgetail by the front of his shirt. “Normally I’d threaten to step on your tail, but I see that you’re a few inches short.” They heard Paulina snarl into the face a very scared looking charr.

Faustus kind of looked at the scene and seemed to pale at seeing his brother in trouble. “I-I’m going to go save my brother,” he said and quickly walked towards the larger female charr that held his brother. 

“Good idea,” Cyssa agreed. She still looked done. Very. She scanned the room they were in, Auderen was snooping around, Lunia was helping Faustus with Fabius and Decima was talking with Maximus. She then looked away because Kyrus called her name to say hi, then looked back and found Maximus’s head in a vase. Cyssa’s face screamed ‘are you kidding me?’ Decima was already trying to get her bandmate’s head out of the vase.

Cyssa spun on her foot in the opposite direction and began to walk away. “Midona, I’m going to my study, call me when dinner’s ready,” she said loud enough for her aunt to hear.

“Alright, dear!” Midona called back after putting a brief pause on the conversation she was having with Surinus. She then went back to her conversation as her niece slipped off to leave her idiots alone.

Dinner soon came and too quickly in Cyssa’s opinion as she wanted more time studying her books on Orr. But here she was, sitting down and eating her dinner. Moma was seated directly next to her on her right and her aunt was to her left. There was a lot of conversation around the table, and a lot of it Risen and Pact based since well, they were at war with Zhaitan.

Some things said by Paulina and Surinus were more Pact as a whole, what they were doing, war efforts, all that fun stuff. Cyssa wasn’t paying attention because she was currently listening to Midona rant about Marshal Trehearne, and the slyvari’s tendencies to go on Priory-esque historical rants about Orr in field while they were doing something rather important. It of course annoyed the soldier since she didn’t particularly care about the history of the place she was killing things in. Cyssa listened to her aunt rant about this guy that she both loved and hated for the duration of dinner until it ended.

Dinner came and it went, then they cleaned up and went to bed to be well rested in the morning.

When morning had come, Midona and her warband were already gone along with the two Rip warband members. After Scourge warband all got ready for the day and packed up their stuff for travel, they all waited outside with some haveing done some stretches.

“Soooooo, Legionnaire? Where to? Fields of ruin? Caledon Forest? Somewhere else fraught with danger and things to introduce my magic to?” Decima asked Cyssa. Decima Scourgemind was the warband’s mesmer and their tower since she was the largest in the warband.

“Depends, how for it are you guys to going to Fort Trinity to help with the invasion?” Cyssa countered.

Her whole warband cheered and started chanting ‘battle! Battle! Battle! Orr! Orr! Orr!’ like a bunch of crazies. After they had checked their Asuran tablets to see if they had the waypoint discovered, they poofed to the fortress. After they arrived, Cyssa instructed them to get familiar with the place before they headed off since she mentioned that she needed to see someone.

It did not take her long to find Marshal Trehearne’s office and she stepped into the open spaced location. 

Guards stopped her before she got any further. “Halt, only the Commander, officers, or those with appointments are allowed to speak with the Marshal,” one said.

“State your name, rank and placement in the Pact,” the other ordered.

Cyssa didn’t seem troubled by being stopped, in fact, she looked ready for that. “Cyssa Scourgepaw, Priory scholar, ex-Legionnaire to the High Legions and niece to Pact Commander Midona Strifeheart,” she said. 

The two guards looked at eachother, then her. “How do we know you’re not pretending to be her niece?”

“I can go get her if you’d like, but you wouldn’t like the scolding that follows.” Cyssa snapped.

They didn’t take too kindly to her threat and were about to call more guards when a sylvari came up to investigate the situation. “What is the problem, gentlemen?” Marshal Trehearne asked as he walked up to the entrance.

The two guards saluted him. “Sir! This charr is claiming to be the Commander’s niece!”

Trehearne paused to take a thorough look at Cyssa, he then seemed to recognise her. “Are you, Cyssa Scourgepaw?”

“That’s what I told Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee here,” Cyssa replied.

The slyvari’s face lit up with a small smile. “Ah, Midona told me quite a lot about you! And that your most distinguishing features were your bright pink wardrobe along with matching pink hair. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, I’m Marshal Trehearne,” he introduced himself.

Cyssa nodded. “I see that she tortures you with lectures about me as you torture her with lectures about Orr’s history,” she jabbed.

He took the jab well, in fact he just looked a bit sheepish. “Well, I do suppose that’s fair.”

“Speaking of Orr, that’s why I’m here. I wanted to compare notes on the history of Orr with you. Mostly as a trade to get your lectures off my aunt’s back before she chucks you into the ocean,” Cyssa said.

“She had also mentioned that you commonly want things by trade for something else. Usually benefiting yourself and another close to you,” he mentioned. The Marshal didn’t seem too annoyed at what she said. He just beckoned for the shorter charr to follow him.

Cyssa followed him. “Oh but sometimes my trades benefit everyone. Sometimes,” she admitted while she sat down on a chair, and placed her books down on the table. Trehearne sat down across from her after he grabbed his own books.

They ended up trading and comparing for nearly thirty minutes before Trehearne had to get back to work, but he promised that he wouldn’t prattle to Midona about Orr for awhile as long as Cyssa kept coming back for them to continue trading knowledge. After that, Cyssa went back to collect her warband and get started with killing dead things. She found them after some searching since they were all scattered throughout the fort, but she had found them and off they went to Orr.

The Scourge warband set foot on the plagued dirt of the risen lands, the call of undead birds filling the stale, briny, ashen air, almost always seemed to follow them as they walked over the sodden dirt. Despite the land being up for years, the dirt never dried, which resulted in it being very akin to a swamp. As they walked over the slightly dried path, they all had their weapons out and at the ready, scanning the rocks and dead coral for any Risen. The land itself was dead, but it also wasn’t, risen just like the army that shambled over it.

The seven charr in the warband had both pairs of their ears trained for noises that would betray Risen. Auderen - being a sylvari - mostly waited for the cue from the others since they had far better hearing than himself.

The minutes ticked by.

Suddenly Lunia let an arrow loose, at the same time, the rest of the warband launched their own ready spells at what would have been a Risen ambush. Lunia’s salamander drake, Ember, also launched herself at a Risen. It was glorious chaos. The warband ended up separated slightly but still in view of each other while they beat back the attempted ambush.

Moma and Maximus in typical elementalist fashion, had set everything aflame and also caused the earth to fight back as well. Decima had made clones of herself to explode and help her focus her magic beams on the various walking corpses. Fabius and Faustus had set up some turrets in record time to assist the warband, Lunia had made it rain arrows and Auderen had picked off stragglers. Cyssa had ended up wandering a little further than intended, since she wanted to make sure that she’d kill everything in the immediate vicinity.

After several more minutes, everything was well and truly dead. Again at least. This allowed the warband to take a breather and made sure that they were all accounted for. No one was badly injured, a little scrape here, a bruise there, but they were able to move along. 

Decima was doing a headcount and realised something. “Uhhhh, guys? The Legionnaire is still missing,” the mesmer said and at once everyone paled and immediately began to look for her trail.

It didn’t take long until someone called out. “I found a Risen downed by some very familiar corruption!” Auderen shouted slightly, which caused everyone to abruptly run over.

They followed the trail a bit further along. Then they heard the voice of the one person they didn’t want to meet right at the moment: Commander Midona. “Scourge warband! Where is your Legionnaire?” Midona asked as she runs up to them with a small entourage of Pact soldiers with her. She kept it formal for now.

The warband all kind of look at each other and quickly got into an argument about who was going to tell her. This resulted in the Commander looking very done as she listened to them banter. 

Maximus stepped forth after a few more moments of arguing. He saluted her first then he spoke, “Commander Strifeheart, we were almost ambushed by Risen, took them down but Legionnaire Scourgepaw wandered off in the battle and we’re following her trail.” He gestured to the dead Risen that had the tell-tale marks of Cyssa’s specific magic. 

Midona said nothing as she quickly took over the group as they continued to search for her niece. They followed the trail to a clearing that had a number of dead Risen that surrounded a rock. On that rock sat the familiar pink clothed necromancer whom didn’t seem to concerned that she had nearly given several people heart attacks. She was jotting something down when they appeared, after she was done, she closed her field journal and stood up from the rock, grabbing her staff. “About time you guys found me, I didn’t leave small crumbs,” was all Cyssa said to the group. Then she decided to give Midona a loose salute after she noticed that there were Pact soldiers with her aunt.

Midona looked like she was about to strangle her own niece, but decided against that for a very heavy and frustrated sigh. Moma shared a similar reaction.

“So, what’d you find?” Fabius asked.

“Oh I found an Orrian tablet that I hadn’t read about before so I stopped to study it,” she answered casually. She then walked past her aunt to head back to the trail. “Oh yeah, Commander, I got Trehearne of your back about his lectures. You’re welcome,” she called over her shoulder as she walked past and led her group off to no doubt continue to down Risen.

[enneagramspam]

ALEXANDER HILBERT 1w2 “I did what I had to do.”

Given the amount of harm Hilbert causes to fan favourite characters throughout Wolf 359, he might initially come across as the polar opposite of a One. Once it becomes clear, however, that he is in fact acting in accordance with a very strict personal moral code- one of utilitarianism taken to an uncommon extreme- it becomes clear that he is a perfect example of a One- controlled, perfectionist, and advocating change in hopes of making the world a better place overall.

Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced “Satisfied? You think I care about pride? Humiliation? I will do whatever it takes. It doesn't matter what you have to give up. Who you have to hurt. How far you have to go.”

When Cutter first approaches Hilbert to work for Goddard, Hilbert scoffs at the idea of “defecting” from the Soviet Union. Cutter correctly observes that Hilbert has no love for his country, and is quick to assuage his fears.

“Your only real allegiance is to your work… and that would come with you.”

Hilbert’s moral code is based on a kind of extreme utilitarianism- the suffering of the few who are unfortunate enough to be subjected to his experiments will be outweighed by good successful results will bring. Looking at what does not provoke anger from Hilbert, is, in fact, very telling of the strength of this desire. Unlike an Eight, who would resent being controlled, or a Three, who would rail against criticism, Hilbert has no problems with being poorly treated, so long as he is able to work. He almost never responds to Lovelace’s taunts, nor try to save face in response to Kepler’s deliberately provocative criticism;

“I... Yes, Colonel. Thank you. (beat) Very good.”

Similarly, when he realises that Goddard intended to leave him to die on the Hephaestus Station- after downloading a neurological map that would allow them to continue his work, his reaction is as follows;

“...my work would have made it back to Earth. Everything I've done would... (beat) It would have made a difference. I find it to be perfectly equitable.”

This is where the extremity of Hilbert’s code of utilitarianism becomes apparent. The harm Hilbert causes in order to pursue a cure leads him to suffer as well;

“Do not mistake determination for enthusiasm, Captain. None of it was nice. None of it was easy.”

But ultimately, his own feelings on the matter, just like his dignity, matter not at all. He holds himself to a standard of complete selflessness;

“I told you. My work will save countless lives. No one gets to discount that. Not even me.”

In Hilbert’s eyes, repression of the guilt he feels and continuation in his work is the only moral path to take- especially in light of his one-hundred percent conviction that he can succeed. And so, he persists.

Basic Fear: Of being corrupt, evil, defective “All I'm saying is there is no room for affection in science. There shouldn't be!”

It is only when Kepler orders him to abandon his work- in which case, the suffering he caused will have been for nothing, that we see him, usually so self-controlled, “snap”;

“What?! No! This - This is progress! This is results! This is what I have spent decades trying to accomplish! My work!”

When he calms down- repressing his outburst in a way that is typical for the One, and clearly common practice for him- the following takes place in a conversation with Eiffel;

Hilbert takes a DEEP BREATH. He's never sounded more tired. “I am taking this the way I need to in order to survive.”

As morality is a difficult goal to actualise, Ones often take on “a calling,” as a mechanism by which to enact positive change. Hilbert’s work is a concrete reflection of his moral code, and so taking away his work is, in effect, a manifestation of his basic fear- to the extent that he has to emotionally shut down to “survive,” it.

Disintegration to Four: “Just pat little rabbits on the head and never think about death! It works so well! Everyone does just fine!”

Ones repress their anger, and are often seen by those around them as controlled and unyielding, while perceiving their own interior life as intense and passionate. It’s unfortunate, then, that they disintegrate to Fours, who struggle with feeling that their identity is being misinterpreted by outside sources. Hilbert becomes truly angry rarely- one example is in Lame-O Superhero Origin Story, when Eiffel is interrogating Hilbert about his motivations, but seems simultaneously unwilling to listen to his perspective, we get another of his “snaps”;

“Oh, sure! Sure! Big mean scientist should never do anything with risk! Even if could reap vast benefits and end large amount of suffering! Should not find way to understand cell development and degradation! Much too scary!”

Additionally, Fours have issues with morbidity and self-absorption. While Hilbert’s motivations arguably come from a place of altruism, they are also undeniably personal, as he reveals in the same rant;

“Just keep delaying anti-radiation medication, put the funding somewhere else! Who needs it?! Just have pets and American television! That made real difference for sister, can make up for everything!”

A legitimately well-intentioned desire to prevent others from going through what he suffered, intertwines with a deeply personal motivation, and culminates in the manifestation of unhealthy Four traits- Hilbert’s vulnerability in his situation forces himself to maintain distance from those around him, which turns to disdain and enables him to act as if exempt from the normal rules of society.

w2: “Tell that to the fingernails you are not supposed to have.”

Hilbert doesn’t seem to display any traits that would betray a Nine wing- Cutter, whose observations about the cast are generally achingly accurate, calls them both “in the business of changing the world,”- this does not describe a man who has chosen a path free of conflict and upheval. He does, however, display a lot of the problematic behaviours Twos can fall into- he is out of touch with his own needs and often manipulative and controlling. Despite the harmful nature of his work, Hilbert also seems to occasionally betray a caring side- for instance, he stays by Hui’s side as he passes away, and despite Eiffel’s suspicions, he does ultimate cure him in Cigarette Candy. Of course, it could be that Hilbert only does these things to protect his own research, but along that vein, it could be argued that sacrificing everything, even his own soul, for his research, is a truly altruistic act. Hilbert’s willingness to sacrifice in the relentless pursuit of the healing properties of the Decima could certainly be interpreted as an act of love for his family, or for humanity in general- his ultimate goal is to heal, not to harm.

[theworldsmosthatedakacr7]

Cristiano’s interview with France Football

I translated this from penamadridista.hu, from their translation of the original interview. If there is any mistake, I’m sorry, you know English isn’t my first language. I know this is going to raise attention (the only thing I believe), so I say it now, in the Hungarian translation they refer to Gio as Cristiano’s fiance. I have not seen the original interview so if someone read the French version, feel free to tell me if it’s a mistranslation of the middle person.

The five times Ballon d'Or winner doesn't plan to lay back and do nothing while admiring his collection of trophies. Besides already concentrating on 2018, he brings back the memories of the recipe of his success.

The date is Monday, 4th December, the location is the training center in Valdebebas. The shining sun and the light blue colour of the sky gives a special brightness to the place. The training is over. Raphael Varane who is on his way to his invidual lesson with an English teacher welcomes us, just like Karim Benzema. In the lobby, staff of Real Madrid is decorating the Christmas tree, that later gets white and purple decors, and they put packages under the tree. It's 13:10 when Cristiano Ronaldo finally arrives. He wears black shirt and black jacket that give him a prince like elegancy, he's company is his old time friend, Ricardo. The rest only takes 40 minutes in a room that gives perfect view to the training pitches. During this time the five time Ballon d'Or winner never looks at his watch, just takes a few sips from the water bottle placed on the arm of the sofa, stopping the interview only for a couple of moments. In previous years, when we asked him, when we've made interviews with him, he's never talked to us this way never had an interview like this with him but the readers shall decide themselves.

You're about to receive your 5th Ballon d'Or. Do you feel like this award became somewhat too ferial, plain for you?

Ferial? No, never. When I started my career, I didn't dream about more than to win one Ballon d'Or. With signing to Manchester, I believed my career got to a turning point and it wasn't impossible anymore to reach this aim. I felt that I got a chance to make my dreams come true, I made up my mind that it was realistic to win. As the years have passed, my opinion changed, and I knew one Ballon d'Or wasn't enough. Simply because too many has had the same recognition and I'm telling this with the utmost respect, most weren't on the same level with me. There's a huge difference between those who only one the Ballon d'Or one time and those who were able to win it twice, three or four times. I didn't want to belong to the group who only won it one time. Considering the potential I have, the talent and my hard work, I knew I'd be able to succeed again.

Which moment was this year when you said “Alright, I won the award.”?

I knew if I won the Champions League, I'd get one step closer to the 5th Ballon d'Or. In the end we won the series and I ended up as the top goal scorer of Europe most prestigious competition again. Besides, I scored twice in the final. I think, this was that moment.

5 years ago Messi was five Ballon d'Ors ahead. Did you think back then that you'd be able to achieve the same?

Funny story, isn't it? I didn't think I'd be able to catch up with him because after I won the first, he won four in a row. I'm not going to deny, I was angry and sad. I attended the award shows but never won anything. I was demotivated. I didn't want to go to just get my photo taken. And then step by step, thanks to the help of those around me, I told myself, everything has a beginning and an end. And in football, it's the end result that matters, not the beginning. I remained calm, kept on working, and won new Ballon d'Ors. Today, I won the 5th that makes me want to fight further, and stops me from thinking about my age. Who was the eldest player who won a Ballon d'Or? Cannavaro?

Stanley Matthew was 42 years old when he was given the award for being the best, in 1956...

(His eyes go wide.) 42? Did he play alone or what? But seriously, nowadays that would be unimaginable. There's no way to play football for that long. When I see 24-25 years old players getting injured frequently, I remind myself how lucky I am to be in this physical condition at 32.

When you received your first Ballon d'Or in 2008, did you hope you'd overcome Zidane, Ronaldo Nazarió, Platini, Van Basten or Cruyff?

I always believed that I'd only be able to win one. Two? Why not! Five... I'd have never believed it. As they say: Much will have more.

Are you aware what position you have in the history of Ballon d'Or?

If I think about it calm, I believe so, yes. No player has as many individual awards as me. And I'm not talking about the Ballon d'Or. All of this must mean something, right? This is not simply about the work done in the gym as people often like to think. There are many other factors. Exceptional people like Floyd Mayweather or LeBron James also didn't get where they are by mere chance. Everything has it's significance. In order to get to the top and be able to stay there you need way more talent than others.

Five Ballon d'Ors. We can say regarding this award, this is the first time that no one is ahead of you.

You know well that I respect other's opinion but right now I don't see anyone being better than me. And I've always thought this way. There is no football player who would be capable of anything that I couldn't do as well. Meanwhile, I see that I'm able to do things that others aren't capable to do. There is no more complex player than me. I play well with both of my feet, I'm fast and strong, I'm great with my head, I score goals and hand them out as well. People have a right to prefer Neymar or Messi. But I'm convinced that there is no more complex player than me. I'm sure everyone is going to say I'm an egoistical dick... But when you are on the top, it's natural to get criticized. As a journalist, I'm sure it happens with you as well.

Do you think you are the best player in the history?

Yes! I'm the best player of history, both with my greatest and worst moments. As Zidane said today during training: We have to face difficulties in order to be able to value the success later. The bad moments push us to work harder. It's normal to be angry and frustrated because you weren't able to score. If that didn't happen, it'd mean you don't even care. So yes, if I don't play well or the training doesn't go as I want, I end up angry with myself. However, when I leave the training pitch or the stadium, I also leave whatever happened behind and my life goes on in a normal rhythm.

You have some great expectations towards yourself... Isn't this too much?

One time the fitness coach of Real Madrid, Antonio Pintus said laughing that I was a real psycho. He's never met anyone like me before, someone who works as hard as I do. When I step into the gym, I don't talk to anyone, I only concentrate on the work to be done. I admit, I put more pressure on myself many times than it'd be necessary. But I'm not regretting being like this. Maybe it'd be better if I got a bit more laid back and relax but that isn't how I live my life. I have no intention to change anything 15 years into my career. I wouldn't have won so many things if I hadn't been unsatisfied all the time.

How much chance do you see for a 6th Ballon d'Or?

I couldn't tell in this moment. We're still in many competitions with Real Madrid next year and we'll go to the World Cup with Portugal. I think next year's World Cup is going to be crucial in the race for Ballon d'Or. Imagine that we win the Champions League where I'm the top scorer at the moment with Real Madrid and I have a not so good World Cup behind me. Or reversed. In 2018 there will be many deciding factors but I don't think Champions League is going to be one of those. The bar is definitely going to be raised.

Close to 33 how are you able to remain at the top?

It's all in the head. The key to everything is motivation, and the most important for that is the decision to be made. If you lack that, things get more difficult. Personally, I'm a positive man. I love football, I love extra practices at trainings. The real problem appears when we don't have enough motivation. Because this (points at his head) commands this (points at his right leg). There's no exception. If you are not alright in the head, you can't feel good in your own skin either.

A year ago, more or less at the same time you said you weren't the player as you were before. Is this true today? Is the body still at the level of the mind?

I think my body is in a better condition than it was one or two years ago. I feel fine, and I feel stronger.

What is it that really bothers you?

If I don't feel the support of the club or the fans. People have a very short memory. The other day at the airport about 5 meters from us a guy recorded us with his phone when I was with Carvajal and Ramos. And then he tells us “Hey, maybe you should wake up, you fuck everything up.” I thought to myself: “Hey, only 3 months ago we won the European and the Spanish Super Cup.” See, I don't know what to do with such horrible things. This type of amnesia bothers me a lot. Football works in cycles. When things don't go well, people should support us, the fans should stood by the players. In four years we won 3 Champions League trophy what – from that point of view – can seem to be easy but Real Madrid had to wait 12 years to win the La Decima. I know how hard I work and still sometimes things just don't work out the way I want them to. It happens that the ball bounces off the goal or the keeper stops the ball. I only ask everyone to trust us.

Could you tell me what do you do in order to keep up your physical level?

I do the same for years now. Maybe more thoughtfully than before. A couple of years ago I spent 40 minutes in the gym, now I only do 20 but with more special practices.

Do you think this work invisible to others is the secret of your success?

This is all very important but only just one part. What is even more important is talent. I can give you the book of my daily routine, the recipe of my success. I can tell you about my eating habits, how I train, everything that helped me to get where I am now. Then we'll see if you'll be able to win 5 Ballon d'Ors. I will tell you: without talent you can forget about it. Give the recipe for success to a 15 years old kid and in 10 years we'll see if they deserve the recognition. Do you get what I mean?

Carlo Ancelotti told us one time that he'd never in his life met a player before who would have an ice bath 2:30 in the middle of the night after a Champions League game. Why was that necessary?

That's a crucial part of my routine. Because of the 2-3 hours long plane trips, and the changing pressure, legs swell up. Cold water is a natural painkiller, and I enjoy it. Sometimes I also sit into hot water. These are small things that make me feel better and make the difference. I'm aware that after a cold bath, I sleep better. Do you know why after games some players have restless nights? Because they don't have a release. There's still adrenalyn in their system. I'm looking for ways that help me to come down. 95% of times I sleep perfectly at night, and the rest is also good. People aren't aware how important sleeping is. I am. The same is true about working and eating. These details make me better step by step.

Do the success by winning the Ballon d'Or help to forget about previous years?

Success is always a bonus for the mind, a psychological one. You know that you worked for something. And this pays very well. If you worked hard through the year and in the end you achieve nothing, that can be very frustrating. I feel lucky that year upon year sometimes more, sometimes less but I always win something. This gives motivation to work even more and win even more.

You have four children in your home now, does that change getting prepaired in any way?

My routine hasn't changed at all though, unquestionably, the presence of my four children has an affect on my life. Regardless, I do my job without interruption, and I spend enough time to rest. It doesn't matter whether there is one or four children. The only difference now is that my attention is divided more. I give all my generousity to my children but I pay attention to do my job professionally.

Can Cristiano, the father, the head of the family replace Cristiano, the footballer?

No. Whilst my three children who bornt recently means more responsibility, my professional life has changed nothing. As I said before, I always dreamt about having a big family and I'm doing everything I can to have that. Family is the most beautiful thing in the world. After the experiences and joy that I've had as the father of Cristiano Junior, I wanted to have more children. And so now I'm very happy. My children fill me with pride. And I'd like more kids in the future.

Are you so keen on having moments alone as well?

Being alone... I don't really have a need for that. Sometimes I am alone at home, even with so many children, I have my personal space. Fortunately, my home is big enough. (smiles) There are enough places where I can go away if I want to or need to be alone. This isn't a problem. I'm also alright when my partner (girlfriend) goes to classes or my kids go for a walk. But I don't need long hours alone.

Do you get up at night to feed the children?

I'll be honest: no. If I had to, I would, without complaining. I love my kids and I make sure they aware of this, for example every single time when I get home from training. However, I have a partner (girlfriend) and two other people who help to take care of the little ones. I need to rest during the night. And of course, it doesn't mean I don't love them, it merely means that I'm responsible for my family, I'm responsible for my job that demands a lot of me. Afterall, who is the breadwinner in the family? I try my best to give everything for my children, to ensure they have a dream life and they get everything they need. Everyone has their job in our family. Mine is to be generous with them and to educate them. The night is saint and not to be disturbed though. Next day I have to go and run and I have to do my job well.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

The same as today. I'd like to play as long as possible but I can't guarantee that I'll be mentally alright. No one knows what tomorrow holds. We shouldn't think too much about the past or wonder too much about plans for the future. We have to live the here and now because this moment is beautiful and sweet. I'm happy because I win titles because I'm healthy and my family and friends are alright. You have to draw from this and enjoy it. If I don't feel well anymore, my career might end in 5 years. This is exactly why I put effort into other projects as well. I have sponsores, hotels, gyms and a fashion company... I won't have existential problems.

Is there a chance you'll be a manager one day?

At the moment no. Honestly, I'd like to spend more time with educating myself, studying. I'm thinking about acting for example...

Acting?

Yes, I'd like to give it a shot. Year by year, they offer me the chance to participate in films but besides football I have no time for it. You know, it's almost certain, I'll struggle terribly when finally I put the boots down. Football is going to remain my passion forever. Of course, I'm also certain that I'll live my life as a happy man.