#love is a self-imposed timeloop

[marlinspirkhall]

One day I will start a piece of media that I instantly love & it won't turn out to be about a timeloop, but that day is not today

[skyllion-uwu]

I love your typical timeloop that resets after a certain amount of time/after a certain event but god the self-imposed loop is where it's at. You could let it stop at any point but you won't because you won't accept this version of events. You'll keep trying to make it what you want even as everything keeps turning out wrong and you're growing desperate for it to be right and it's driving you insane but you'd rather get everything "perfect" than to move on past this point and live your life

[arom-com]

hi hope this is ok but i've seen sooo many of ur posts tagged as renbrand and i am ... perhaps .... a little curious .... would u like to tell me abt them !!!! 👀👀 (its ok if not ofc)

Ofc!! I sure have been tagging them a lot huh

The short version is that they’re my unhinged lesbian ocs stuck in a murder timeloop

Longer version is this:

(I am not going to be able to explain this in any way approaching coherent) (but I will try!!) (sorry in advance for the Wall of Text)

So RenBrand stands for these two:

Ren Hayashi (23, she/they) university student studying criminal psychology, abandonment issues out the wazoo, Going Through It

Brand Reitveld (26, she/her) local gang leader, Control Issues TM, definitely the cat in whatever cat-and-mouse thing they have going on

They’re in love — it’s not even remotely healthy.

Basically, through no fault of their own, they got stuck in a long-form time loop (days/months rather than strict 24h) that resets whenever one of them dies, which wouldn’t be too much of an issue? Except a) they’ve never met and don’t know they’re stuck together, and b) Ren keeps getting fucking murdered

Bc!! Ren’s psychology prof is running a secret cult (trying to turn his crim psy students into serial killers, it’s a whole thing, very cringe of him) so she gets killed for accidentally getting in the way a couple times (she doesn’t know about the cult), and then ofc starts investigating, which only makes it worse (I feel so bad for her but it’s also really funny, saddest most pathetic sopping wet oc I’ve ever created)

(Some of Ren’s deaths are also caused by Brand who’s like listen I don’t have a grudge against you or anything but you do keep getting my people killed so I have to eliminate the threat, no hard feelings! And Ren is like I am in abject misery)

(strangers to enemies to lovers except the strangers to enemies is a speedrun and the enemies to lovers is a slow burn)

The story they’re from is sort of a dark mystery-slash-romance (think nbc hannibal meets groundhog day, which is certainly a sentence), and it’s mainly centred around Ren and her corruption arc as she goes from “tired student just trying to finish her dissertation if it kills her” to “codependent mob-wife who kills first and asks questions later”

I’m obsessed with time as a narrative device, and especially time loops, because it can be used in such interesting ways!! And the interesting part about time loops to me is that they’re like,,,,, rube goldberg machines for character development? You only stick a character in a time loop when you need them to undergo a pretty drastic change without a proper catalyst, and it forces them to wear themselves down to their bones, to find the very essence of what they are, and then build themselves back up again into their ideal and purest form of self. (Of course, some people just use them as a tool for romance, but that’s boring!! Boo)

Usually time loops exist to make a character better, because they’re given some kind of epiphany that makes them the best and kindest version of themselves. (Alternatively, they can be used as the cosmic equivalent of a washing machine spin cycle if you’re writing horror) But what interests Me is the idea of using a time loop to make a character worse, which is what I’m doing to Ren (and to a lesser extent, Brand)

And it’s not just corruption for corruption’s sake, either! Ren, as she is, is miserable — she’s completely isolated, unable to achieve any of her goals, and ultimately ends up getting killed in an impersonal way for impersonal reasons — but once the loop begins and she gets her second chance, she starts to wear away at all her self-imposed barriers and boundaries until she can start making her own decisions and being an active agent in her own life. Of course, she’s not choosing to do good, but the best version of herself is not necessarily Good or Kind, it’s just Authentic.

Brand, on the other hand — because she has more support and isn’t as repressed — is experiencing the time loop less as a vehicle for character development, and more as a perpetual time travel fix-it (which is SO fun, having two characters get wildly different outcomes from the same experience). Her problems are more interpersonal rather than internal, so where Ren is using the extra time to understand herself, Brand uses it to understand the world around her (and is thus doing a much better job at actually solving the plot, we love a girlboss).

Brand’s conflicts are with her brother (who I can’t even Begin to explain without adding another thousand words to this post), and (as the leader of the local gang) with the police & the murder cult, which means that a lot of her loops are spent information-gathering (and murdering, dw abt it)

Personality-wise Ren is pretty quiet, she doesn’t like to ask for things which means she gets into miscommunications a lot (people not helping when she wishes they would, people helping when she doesn’t need it bc they think she just doesn’t want to ask), she’s a very “the only one you can rely on is yourself” kind of person, which isn’t exactly ideal for someone you’re stuck in a time loop with but at least it means she never gives up? She also doesn’t really care what people think of her — or rather, she does care, but she doesn’t let it stop her

Brand is suffering from a lethal combination of being the youngest sibling and simultaneously the eldest daughter, so she’s great at asking for help and using her resources but it means that she a) is a little entitled about it, and b) needs to feel like she has perfect control over everything or she’ll die. She’s very possessive and protective over things that she considers hers (hence murdering Ren for getting her people killed, it’s fine they get over it)

Renbrand also come equipped with two sets of narrative foils (Brand’s disabled ex-ballet dancer brother and his bodyguard/love interest, and the cult leader professor and his prized pupil who both hates and loves him for what he’s become) but the word count on this is already obscenely, embarrassingly long so I’ll talk abt them another day maybe

[palant1r]

(Sorry for sending so many asks I’ll just keep my live-blogging to this one for now..)

OH!! So it doesn’t have anything to do with lights death after all?!

oOHHHHHH MATSUDAS MENTAL HEALTH GETS A 10/10 FOR ITS DIVE!! Jesus Christ get this man some therapy!! Also does he hate eating because food reminds him of lights corpse?

And yesss, matsuda getting even more agency of his own and finally realizing he can’t just leave this to someone else wooooh!!!

Maybe it’s too much to expect a guy who chalked up years of living to just being a dream to be good at managing time in his head but it has DEFINITELY been more than 15 days. There’s no way he memorized and became so depressed in just 3 days. Also, we still haven’t seen the ‘matsuda writes lights name in the deathnote’ hypothesis, wonder when that’ll come up!

Ohhhh. Matsuda takes away lights agency in his crimes as a way to humanize him. As a way to absolve him. And, as a way to absolve himself for having sex with him. That’s so symbolically <3333

Matsuda trying to convince light to run away with him. I really wonder what lights endgame is here and why he’s being such a dick if he can remember the time loops. Is it really just about proving a point symbolically? Ide said that it would mean something if matsuda sided with light. Is that why lights doing this? To make matsuda side with him for some odd version of catharsis? (I guess we don’t really know how light factors into the time loop but I don’t think he’d be this composed if he didn’t have SOME level of control over it. Somehow.)

Matsuda being stuck in a timeloop really IS such a catch 22 situation. For his agency to matter, for anything to matter, he has to progress somehow. This strips him of his agency but in a way he has no control over, and it’s fun to see the difference between when it’s self imposed and when it’s imposed by some deity-or maybe just light. Probably not but perhaps.

Hhhh The differences between lights corpse and lights living stage, and yet the intertwining of them in matsudas head as a ‘walking corpse’. I’m reminded of your post about light Yagami separating his identity and that of Kira’s so that kira could be indestructible even when light Yagami gets hurt, but here we see how matsuda both plays into that and subverts it.

HHHHHHHHH. There we go, matsuda back at humanizing light. Which, I guess is a valid thing to do considering he’s fucking the guy but I can’t help but feel as though this is setting something up.

ALSO!! More of that catch 22 feel. Light will only settle down when kira is caught but that cannot occur for obvious reasons. Aughhhhh.

OHHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS HE GONNA DO?!

ALSO IF HE WAKES UP ON JAN 29TH TOMORROW THEN WHY?! WHAT DOES HE DO?! WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES FOR ACTIONS AUGHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED!!!!

hehe i will NEVER be upset about metempsychosis liveblogging, i love this so much!

[mikireyna]

Best of 2020: Best of Best

Best of the Best 2020: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Here we are. At the end. So why not pick a show that ended in 2020. While we were having a horrible year in 2020. Once again, this show proves that things can always be worst and it sure was worst. That is right. The best show that I picked for 2020 also has the worst stuff to happen. Best of the Best for 2020 is Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..

When I was trying to think of a show that could be used for this year’s Best of the Best. I was trying to think of which show could have somebody win or be strongly contented in each category. That way it won’t be Fitz-Simmons winning Best Couple (for the third time in the row) or Yoyo or May winning Best Female. Maybe Deke could have won best Male along with the AOS Team winning Best Team. Heck. Maybe AOS should have won Best Team. After all, they did save the world for the hundredth time. Though I am sure it would have been boring to see AOS sweep half of my categories. That is why I pulled them out from all the categories because I knew from the beginning that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. were going to win this award.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has had an interesting history. It started as a big show that Marvel was pushing but slowly was being pushed aside. From not being that involved with the MCU to having Friday timeslots to having seasons featuring two storylines that lasted half the season each to smaller seasons. Either way. Each season all have something in common: A story about a group of people who are family to each other being put in situations that were bound to make us cry as some die or get really hurt. Apparently that was enough to keep us coming back each and every season.

Now let’s talk about what happen in 2020. Luckily the season was finished filming in 2019. That was good because I don’t think I could handle a COVID Hiatus during any part of this season. Granted, I am sure they could use some of the events in 2020 to help write some nice lines pointing at currently day flaws in moments of the past. Though, the writing was on point regarding the racisms and sexism of the latter half of 1900s. Still, the show really kept it at the core of family and how they can be there for each other. Each member of the AOS Team had a moment to shine just one more time.

We had moments from the most surprising places. In this case Deke who had several stand out episodes but one of them was being a supportive friend to Mack when he lost his parents. It was in the most Deke way possible as well. In the end, Deke got his happy ending. We saw May finally face her emotions and even use them as a solution to the problem that was happening all season. Yoyo was able to grow her powers by pushing past her past. Taking something that we thought was a certain and proving it was simply a self-impose limit. Daisy gain so much from going up to the next level while still having people support her in the form of Coulson and Sosa. Still, Daisy got to reconnect with her mom and get the sister that she never thought could be possible.

Heck! We saw Sosa come back as a call back to Agent Carter! How badly I wanted to see that show to come back. Either way, Sosa provided some good help as the man out of time. Speaking of time, Fitz-Simmons finally got the time to get their happy ending only to decide to leave it to help the others. While it wasn’t much of them together, it sure did felt amazing to see them happy.

All in all, nobody died this season….Well, except Enoch. Still, that was just another example of great writing as that episode was so funny, sad and amazing. We cried for a robot and that is never a bad thing.

That is all normal AOS stuff. Though what really threw this season over the top and just made it my favorite was all the homages! The show went way out of their way with the time travel theme from costumes to just full episodes! They even had an old black and white noir episode that made logical sense to happen! For one hour people were watching something in black and white and it was insane to me that they had the courage to do that! And the title cards! Each and every one of them was just art! Whoever was in charge of that got paid really well to make them. I was really sad that we didn’t get one for each and every episode after the last few ones when things got serious. Though when things got serious, they still had fun with the title cards as we saw in the timeloop episode.

Speaking of time! I don’t like time travel in media because I feel like most shows just ignore the rules or mess it up. But AOS did it just right! They knew that with their interactions in time was messing up the timeline. Especially with Mack’s parents dying. Yet they acknowledge it and at least explain it.

But time moves on and I am sure you are spending a lot of time reading this. I could go on and on about how much I love this season. Though, maybe you already knew that. It has been a long few seasons but time and time, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has proven that family can happen at any time no matter the space.