#love imagining that jay’s flashpoint fate isn’t just flashpoint. that his faith extends to his main universe self.

[ofbatsandballads]

Having thoughts about catholic!Jason Todd

tw: mentions of religion, Jay’s death, addiction, and semi-explicit descriptions of murder

How he grew up devout because Catherine was. How he had hazy memories of her dressed in her Sunday best from when he was small. How even in the throes of her addiction she still managed to drag him to mass every Sunday. How after she died and he was left to fend for himself on the streets the local church was one of a handful of places he could seek shelter from the cold.

How when Bruce takes him in he learns about other religions because maybe Bruce has lost all his faith, but Alfred is a sentimental old man and still celebrates Hanukkah in honor of Thomas and Martha. How Jason becomes open to other interpretations of faith, how Bruce supports it even if he thinks it’s a fairytale. How in the final seconds, as the timer of the bomb tick, tick, ticks down to zero, as he drags himself over Sheila’s body to protect her, he finds himself reciting hail Mary’s and hoping he’s done enough good to earn his place among the holy.

How he comes back from the dead and remembers nothing. Black, dark, blank, void. How his faith died with him. How it still haunts him. How the scriptures are burned in his brain, the commandments screaming in his blood. Thou shalt not kill as he puts a bullet in the head of a human trafficker. Thou shalt not kill as he draws a knife across the throat of a drug dealer that was selling to kids. But even God sent a flood to clear the wicked, didn’t He? And isn’t sacrifice for the salvation of others a tenet of faith? Jason decides he’ll be the flood, even as it damns him to Hell.