#love how I’m literally going to drive myself crazy for this project

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

I’ve realised that I’m probably gonna treat my MRU like an actual movie series.

Just like ‘lmao trailer drop’ and it’s just art of certain scenes. Posters are made and everything. Even draw up little premiers and interviews with the made up actors that would play them in the technical MRU thing since I’m ditching the originals (no hate to them of course).

And not even for any particular reason, i just feel like the MRU would deserve that.

[100ducksizedfolignos]

15 people 15 questions

thanks @girlfriendline @giveemgreef @tblueger <333

1. are you named after anyone?

i am not! my middle name was an homage to my mom's grandparents but i have since changed it and my parents are blessedly allergic to otherwise naming anything after anybody

2. when was the last time you cried?

few days before christmas

3. do you have kids?

no and i do not want to. i have one fur baby (that i co-parent with my parents lmao) though as you all well know (scout my baby boy <3)

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

played kids' baseball/softball until i was like 10/11 bc i was constantly in the outfield and nobody can pitch until you get to like. high school. so it was boring and i hated it so i quit. i was on dance team for a while until i had to drop it bc recital dates kept being on the same days as school band concerts. was in marching band throughout high school, which counts bc i was a percussionist and had to lug around those heavy drum harnesses

5. do you use sarcasm?

a ridiculous amount. if we also count like comedic lying in this i accidentally convinced a coworker that there were only three seasons of spongebob doing that whole pretending that only the good parts of a show exist. such a shame spongebob ended after season 3. there's no more of it! just too bad

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

hair probably

7. what’s your eye color?

brown! medium tending towards dark

8. scary movies or happy endings?

while i love gothicness and gothyness i am a Known Weenie and certain types of gore literally make me feel faint. like the finale of the terror s1 made me a little faint and gave me the sweats and i had to fully pause the episode and lay on the floor for a while. so i guess categorically happy endings based on that. if a scary movie isn't super gory though i'll go for it

9. any talents?

i’m very performing arts inclined! i play piano, sing, dance, and act (was a theatre major in college). i memorize things quickly if i set my mind to it, am great at navigating, have great pitch memory (like i can be exactly or near-exactly on pitch when singing something i’ve heard before even without backing accompaniment. this unfortunately drives me crazy when people post pitch-shifted versions of songs and i can tell they’re off. bearer of the curse), decent stage combatant, good crowd weaver, and somehow bear the ability to unintentionally come off as intimidating to basically everyone i’ve ever met

10. where were you born?

iowa, usa

11. what are your hobbies?

i'm something of a gamer in my spare time. basically only solo joints though i'm not like gamer nhlers that play like. league of legends or fortnite or counterstrike. i've recently joined a community band and a bar trivia team (with my old middle school choir teacher lmao. he's a homie), i write fic every once in a while, read, dance around the house, go for walks when it's not cold, snuggle my pup, and obviously watch hockey. i keep telling myself i'm going to learn how to sew but trying to find beginner projects for men types is fucking dire and i keep not going out to get fabric for the pirate blouse i keep wanting to make rip

12. do you have any pets?

ah there's a separate question for this. scout, my yellow lab baby boy whose breeder had a confederate flag up in his barn when we got him (we saved you buddy). have some pictures

13. how tall are you?

5'5". short king territory

14. favorite subject in school?

i was a band/choir bitch. probably followed by english (literature). i liked basically all of it but phys ed though fuck that class i hate distance running it gives me a stitch in my side and you have to run a mile at least twice a semester (fuck you presidential fitness test). on top of all the other running they make you do. loved when they just did games though. matball my beloved

15. dream job.

actor, either stage or voice. unfortunately i do not want to live where the big voice acting studios are located and regional stage acting is kind of limited unless you go all the way out to chicago, which i tried for a couple of months before multiple breakdowns told me i should probably be closer to home. i enjoy being a librarian though :)

tagging @get-hockeyed-idiot @amandaleveille @wildaboutmnhockey @girldewar @letkirillfight @yes-perwallstedt if you guys haven't done it yet and also anyone else who wants to

[eurydicees]

YOU WROTE 18K BY HAND?? i am so impressed i need to ask what you are writing about. holy shit u are like a god

oh my god ok THANK YOU for asking !!! also in the time since you asked this, i have written another 1,400 words by hand. Anyways. under the cut bc this got. too long.

so this was originally for the 50k big bang project, but it was cancelled so i'm gonna go ahead and talk about it publicly now. SO.

the sparknotes summary: it is an iwaoi post-canon coming of age relationship study !! it's about iwaizumi in california and oikawa in argentina and how they navigate their friendship while long distance. it quite literally walks through every step of their journey from graduation aoba johsai to meeting again at the 2020 olympics....the sheer amount of time i'm covering is why its currently ~88,000 words LMAO.

this fic is literally my little monster. it was supposed to be 30k. then it was supposed to be 50k MAX. it is now 88 thousand words long. anyways though i'm enjoying it.

it's a slow burn get together, but it's also a break up & make up fic. the idea is that they dated in high school and then had to break up bc of the distance--but i think they're probably going to get together in the end. the middle is a whole lot of them growing up and figuring out how they can have a healthy friendship even as adults and dealing with loneliness and adulthood on their own and really coming into themselves as people by the time that they get to the olympics.

i just finished parts two and three, which is iwaizumi's years at university. here are some BANGER lines, if i do say so myself:

after oikawa's visit to california, when he has to leave again:

Oikawa smiles at him, and with that, he takes the handle of his suitcase and walks into the airport. Farther and farther and farther away, until he’s disappeared from sight and Iwaizumi is standing alone again, next to the blinking red hazard lights and the sound of other cars’ wheels on cracked concrete.  He gets back into the car. He doesn’t really want to talk to Rich right now, or any one of his other friends or teammates. He kind of just wants to be alone.  So he turns off the hazard lights and puts the car in drive and then he takes the long way home.

when iwaizumi is talking to his friends about oikawa:

“It’s not a big deal,” he tries. “We’ve both moved on. It wouldn’t have lasted while we’re in different countries anyway.”  He does not mention that Oikawa had asked him to wait. He does not mention that he is—he is waiting, and he doesn’t plan on stopping. He doesn’t plan on breaking that promise to come home.  “Ah,” Em says, subdued.

during a drunken NYE call:

Iwaizumi can hear the flinch in Oikawa’s voice. “You miss me?”  “I’m not saying it again,” Iwaizumi says, and it sounds like it’s supposed to be angry, but it just comes out tired and sad. “Of fucking course I do. You’re—” “I’m what?”  Iwaizumi takes a shuddering breath. “You’re so far away, Tooru. You’re so far away and it makes me—fuck, fuck! I shouldn’t have called. I should—” “No!” Oikawa says it instantly, desperately, cutting off any idea that Iwaizumi should go. Which is good because as much as Iwaizumi wants to escape the embarrassment of this phone call, he doesn’t actually want to hang up. He doesn’t actually want to leave Oikawa now. “Stay. Please. Stay with me.”  Iwaizumi pauses for a moment, swallowing down Oikawa’s words and turning them over in his head before saying anything else. “Okay. I’ll stay.” 

anywayssssssss!!! it's been REALLY fun to write, but it's also like. an insane labor of love. this fic was my project for nanowrimo july of LAST YEAR, and it's my project again this year. isn't that crazy. so so so much has gone into this fic its literally driving me up the wall. it haunts my every waking moment and also my dreams.

but yeah i don't have wifi where i'm living for the summer, so i've been writing everything by hand and then typing it all up when i can use a hotspot on my phone. i also have the most amount of free time in my life than i have , like, EVER had in my non-child life. so i get to spend so much time writing, which has been sooooo fun. i am begging the universe to keep me from being burnt out bc i'm genuinely having the time of my life working on this.

ok phone's about to die gotta go. thank you for asking i want to talk about this SO bad. please feel free to ask me. please enable me i'm begging you

[mikuni14]

Step by Step Ep 10

If you're a Step by Step fan, If you still love the series, don't read any further ✨ I may have misunderstood something from this episode, because I skipped big chunks of it, so I admit it right away. Feel free to correct me.

I have no idea what's going on with Step by Step recently. I'm literally having a hard time watching this.

Episode 10 got off to a good start with a weak, but still, calling out Pat’s bullshit. Chot is the one person I can always count on (get your shit together Jeng and make him a boss) 💖

Then BAM! and there’s the worst, least romantic confession scene I've ever seen on any BL show. And I've seen almost all of them. Wtf was that. What’s with the crying?? Throughout the scene I kept asking myself, Jeng, are you sure about this? You want that? But are you really, REALLY, sure about that??? Chop chop, ugly crying but with no tears done, and BAM! Jeng turns on his sex drive at full speed, goes full sex god mode... and I’m so embarassed that I have to take my little mobile with a little internet in it to scroll through silly videos, letting the show play in the background because...

Okay, hear me out. Personally, I love passionate kisses, sex scenes, high heat, I even enjoy problematic scenes as long as they are well acted and actors are “natural” (*cough*TharnType*cough*). I don't have much of a problem with drunk sex, dub con, whatever, as soon as I see the actors are comfortable with each other, I'll watch anything.

And I couldn't even watch the kissing in Step By Step because it was so fake to me!! Not because of the actors, I think they're doing fine from what I've seen. I mean those scenes had a vibe to me of "ok, whatever, it doesn't matter if the hot stuff fit the plot, the atmosphere of the scenes, we starved the viewers for 9 episodes, giving them NOTHING, so now it’s the bang time". I don't know why, but I felt weirdly embarrassed by all this, as if I was treated as an idiot. I mean there was nothing between them and suddenly Jeng turns on the turbo boost, puts on his sexy face and plays his sexy voice and I’m like what? how? The couple, that for 9 episodes had zero sexual tension, literally one staring scene (in ikea lol), suddenly, after the most pathetic love confession ever, immediately goes into full action and honeymoon phase. For me, it wasn't love making, love kisses, love touching. It was a pure FAN SERVICE, it was A PERFORMANCE. With an emphasis on how hot Jeng is and yep, he is hot. But that hotness, his perfect body, it was all done for the viewers, like a half naked superhero in the Marvel movies. And I didn't want to be any part of it.

Tutor and Fighter had a tension that could be cut with a knife, even when Fighter was dating a girl. When they finally started banging, viewers knew where their crazy passion came from, because it was built up throughout the series. It was SUPER SATISFYING, like getting a reward. An that’s the problem with SBS, it’s not satysfying!

I spent the rest of the episode roleplaying an engineer who had warned from the start that something wasn't working and now is tiredly watching the disaster unfold before his eyes. Literally two days ago I wrote that rules are for something, that they protect employees. I know it sounds like a nagging of a boring boomer, but it's true, a lot of “not fun” rules protect employees, especially those at the lowest level. Pat found it out the hard way. Rumors are terrible, but they happen and you can’t stop them. In fact, people saying to Pat, that he shouldn't worry mean well, but they’re wrong, because all they have to do is ask themselves: if Pat fails at work, make a mistake, screw up, will he be treated like any other employee, or Jeng will cover for him? And we can already see how defensive Jeng is when it comes to Pat, how he elevates him! And I assure you that all employees asks themselves this question!

Also, in this episode, Jeng proposes Pat as a project manager and decides he will be his successor. Pat, as far as I understand, is the youngest employee, recently hired. Didn't Jeng REALLY think about how it would look to other employees? No matter how much someone likes Pat, their first thought will be: why him? guess he earned it in bed 🤷‍♀️ And how is Chot supposed to feel when the boy he has to constantly train and tell him what to do is jumping over him on the corporate ladder? Is it fair to him?

And the worst part is that neither Jeng nor Pat try to deal with it. There are emotional outbursts again, mood swings, ignoring problems - also from Jeng's side when Pat actually wants to talk about it for once!!! But what do you expect when instead of building a relationship, we had nothing for 9 episodes and then fan service!! The funny thing is that I kind of understand why Jeng didn't want to talk and wanted to make love. He's waited so long, at some point he gave up, and now he's finally happy and all he wants to do is stay happy, and Pat's words painfully try to bring him back from the ninth cloud. I understand him as a man in love. But not as an adult man and not as a boss. 

The painful truth is this: Jeng and Pat actually have NO relationship. NONE. For 8 episodes there was a one sided pinning, using tricks to spend time together, then a big fight, then a quick reconciliation and even quicker dive into the honeymoon phase... but other than that this relationship has no substance, no foundation!! Like, why did Jeng always have to somehow trick Pat into spending time together, and why had he never just invited Pat to, for example, help homeless people? Why is this scene NOW when I think it would have been much better before??

The series for 9 episodes shows Jeng becoming more and more infatuated with Pat. Once he gets him, it's like the whole emotional part of his falling in love disappears, leaving only the physical part. Pat lives his own life for 9 episodes, dates other men, even has a short relationship, treats Jeng as a boss and nothing more, which he confirmed in the 9th episode. Then he suddenly admits that he actually does like him after all (without any plot/story/narrative leading to this confession), then, like Jeng, focuses most on the physical aspect of their relationship. There's no “relationship” in this relationship. There’s a deep infatuation, but it feels empty. It’s good in the good times and it crumbles in the bad times.

Oh, and that AWFUL scene with the father. Not only do I hate those "just try to hurt my little girl" scenes, but Jeng didn't deserve the aggression, the shoulder slapping, the shoving. And Pat, instead of saying that Jeng did nothing wrong, smiles and treats it as a "loving family dynamic." Can we please stop treating hitting like a love / family language, ffs!!! (looking at you, mom from the Love Tractor)

The brightest, nicest moment, the highlight of this ep was, of course, Chot, who is the only one who approaches his problems with dignity and reason, is able to talk about them, trusts his partner and together they make a normal, adult relationship. I love him and wish him all the best. Chot my beloved 💖

[wellnesswithaleenalir]

My Work From Home Essentials

I could go into a long detailed explanation about how working from home has become popular and begin to describe to you all what remote work is and what it truly entails. Blogs like this drive me crazy, simply because I am way too busy to be spoken to like I’m stupid. Remote work has been around since before COVID, and COVID quarantine seems to have further popularized remote work. So, in the interest of saving your time and mine, we’ll keep this as simple as possible! 

I’ll share a short list of the things I absolutely cannot function without while working from home, but first - a few basic disclaimers (or better said) a better understanding of what it is I do for my “9-5” job, so you can understand how these tools have been useful and effective for myself and the role I play at work.

So… what does Aleena do for work?

If you can believe it, I’m a fitness manager for a gym located in Downtown Los Angeles… but I work remotely. I’m probably the only fitness manager on the planet that works remotely, most people can’t imagine this job being something that can be done remotely. Moving away from Los Angeles and transitioning to remote work allowed me more time in my schedule to also take on the marketing responsibilities of the gym, so in addition to being the fitness manager I am also the marketing coordinator. So… in short, I manage the fitness and marketing teams of a small luxury boutique gym. I love what I do, although it can admittedly be monotonous at times, I find so much joy in the fitness industry and I get to be creative with my work too!

Working remotely requires an extreme amount of organization, especially when I have 25 direct reports. So here are the tools I use (external to my organization) that keep me on track. These tools also make it easy for me to catch up when I fall behind.

1) NOTION

Hands down the best free software I have ever used. I introduced Notion to our gym about a year ago. Since then it’s been the crux of our gym, but has also been beyond useful for me in my own matters relating to work. In Notion you are able to build out your own private pages in which you can take your own notes, create your own databases, and organize your own information. I use the private pages on Notion to keep track of road maps and growth plans for my team. I also use it to schedule the deadlines I set for myself that are internal to projects.

2) APPLE CALENDAR

I’m a huge fan of time blocking my schedule, and it’s proven even more useful since I’ve transitioned into remote work. One thing about being a manager and working remotely - I get to create my own schedule. I show up to my desk at home when I want to, and I leave when I want to. This means, I need to stay active in building my schedule effectively to make sure I get my work done. Apple’s calendar app has been such a huge lifesaver. I used it before I moved away and was still working in the space, but it’s usefulness has tripled since then. I time block every hour of my waking days, and the push notifications allow me to stay on track with the hours I schedule for myself.

3) ERIN CONDREN TEACHER PLANNER

I have a tendency to group things, almost to fault. Running two departments can be exhausting and there is so much to keep track of. The Teacher Planner by Erin Condren has made this incredibly helpful. I relabel categories from the top and bottom to fit the categories associated with work the and dates I show up for work. This allows me to stay on track with projects, deadlines, communications, and literally anything else that may be thrown my way.

4) EARL GREY TEA

This one is a bit random. I worked at Starbucks for three years when I was in college. After far too many flat whites and blonde drip coffees, I realized I had to scale back on my caffeine intake. I switched to Earl Grey tea about 2 years into working there and since then Earl Grey has been a staple in Aleena’s pantry.I quite literally can’t sit down at my desk without my cup of tea. I suggest everyone find a soothing and mildly stimulating beverage to start their day with and to build a routine around the preparation of that beverage. I might’ve picked this habit up from my father. He had a daily morning routine in which he would get ready, wake his kids up for school, and while we sat at the dining table eating breakfast he was making himself a cup of coffee in a travel mug. I would look at him thinking “that is such an adult thing to do” and perhaps as an adult I’ve found it a necessary part of feeling like I’m having a productive morning. 

5) PILOT PRECISE V5 CAPPED LIQUID INK ROLLING BALL PENS

I do most of my work on a computer, but with my physical planner comes a need for a pen. I always recommend finding a pen that does more than just write. And yes, a pen is a pen is a pen, but THIS pen hasn’t let me down since I was in middle school. No other pen writes the same way this pen does, at least in my opinion and my experience. We’ve all had that moment when we write with a pen for the first time and think “wow, that’s a good pen.” I think a huge part of enjoying your work is enjoying the things you use to complete your work, so I choose to use these pens and these pens only for work related notes and planners. It just makes the process that 0.5% more enjoyable. Find the pen that soothes you. 

These are my absolute must haves to sit at my desk and get my workday started. What are yours?

[emmythespacecowgirl]

Hi! I was hoping I could get a BoB ship? I’m she/her, interested in men.

I’m pale, auburn blonde, grey-green eyed, 5’6”, and fairly slender with big boobs and hips. I'm very passionate, always smiling, empathetic, sarcastic, smart, and easy going. I hide behind my humor so people can’t get too close, and I overcompensate my shyness by talking to everyone, so no one believes I really am.

I’m riddled with anxiety and massively self critical and can be stubborn and proud. I feel like inevitably I’ll disappoint everyone, so I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I try to always put others first, and I like to challenge myself. I’m fiercely loyal once I let someone get close to me.

I love animals, especially dogs (I have 9, plus 1 geriatric cat and 8 chickens). I also love learning about anything and everything; I spend a lot of free time listening to lectures. I’m an avid traveler and reader (mostly fantasy). Music is very important to me, and I listen to just about every genre from every era. Drawing and painting are my catharsis, but I love doing anything creative, which has led to me starting a million hobbies and quitting when I get bored.

I’m an INFP-T, enneagram 4, Libra, Slytherin.

Thanks in advance!! 😊🦊

Hi love!! I feel like you and I would get along really well together irl lol idk just reading your profile made me feel really seen lol

I ship you with:

George Luz from Band of Brothers!

ship theme song: How Deep is Your Love by The Bee Gees

George just intrinsically knows you as a person

like the moment he met you

even if it was at a spontaneous, fun event

the dude is just like "yup, i know this person, i vibe so hard with this girl"

George is also just super into literally every part of you

your hair, your eyes, your slender waist, your perfect bust-line, your curvy hips, literally he's probably drooling rn

he calls you his "rita hayworth"

your passion and humor really stood out to him and are probably the traits that he latched onto first

you probably said something really sarcastic on the first date

and George got rock hard under the table

yup, he was definitely yours from that moment on!

hiding from George is nearly impossible

as someone who always felt like the had to be the class clown in order to be loved, he totally understands your need to be humorous

this dude thinks you're incredibly funny

but he also sees you as the whole package deal

and reminds you of that constantly

he can also tell when you're trying to be extra talkative at a party

so he'll take some time at the end of the evening to just sit quietly with you at home

holding your hand in his

and silently letting you know that you're completely worthy just as you are

coming from a really rowdy family with lots of siblings, George secretly craves those quiet moments

and he loves that he is able to have those with you

George is a friend to everyone

but you're definitely his #1 person

he thinks you're so dang smart!

he loves that he can pick your brain on basically any subject and you can rapid fire facts at him

also your talents amaze him

George is a very handy guy

so he has mad respect for anyone who can do detailed, beautiful handiwork

like you, George has a habit of quitting projects once they no longer interest him

so your apartment is a cache of half-finished projects and art jobs

and that's just the way he likes it!

you two definitely entertain your guests with music and singing any chance you get :)

George definitely is building a chicken coop for you in the back of y'all's apartment

it's canon ;)

on those days where your anxiety is driving you crazy

a warm hug from George does wonders

he knows how to give just the right amount of cooing and soothing and rubbing your back in circles until you finally feel better

[potato-jem]

as you now know, I'M HERE!!! omg cece, it has only been a week but this has been the most wonderful and most stressful weeks of my entire life. i'm loving every second of it. i somehow managed to get a job yesterday and i start on friday, which is just crazy to me. i worked it out, and i ended up doing a grand total of 39 hours of travelling, including driving to the airport, my flights, my layover and all the bus travel to actually get to the university 😭 then i had to go out and buy everything i needed, so i was up and about with very little sleep and very little patience. i'm still on the homestretch of recovering 😭😭😭

okay, looks like i will have to schedule a disney trip if time allows for it! and legit?!?!? why would you put a mall instead of a disney park? even business wise, it does not make sense....

yes, yes!! it's like i have a little cece in my pocket, sharing in everything with me!! and YES WASIA PROJECT!!! i booked the london tickets before i left, i'm very excited to see them live! i’m not sure if you’re familiar with her, but i’ve also booked tickets to see alaska from rupaul’s drag race too!! i think i'll also just make a day of going to london while i'm at it. i haven't had the energy to go yet!!

i also hope i have enough money to travel around 😂😭 everything is just so close by and i really want to take advantage of it while i can!! there are so many places i want to go and see. but yes, italy is definitely on the books, because if i have to hear one more wonderful story about the pasta without trying it myself, i might lose my mind 😂😂

sometimes even i forget and i'll tell someone how long i have been there for, and a little vomit comes up 😂😂 it's literally the worst job ever. it has well and truly served its purpose, and i will definitely do something a lot better once i get back to australia. cece, i am so scared of going broke it is CRAZY

i also hope it works out too, because it would be nice to have a little travel buddy :) it would be our own little 'the pairing' romcom hehe

i have also just been obsessed with looking out of my window and being like :0 because of how cool it looks!! it's nothing like winter at home 😭😭😭 winter in australia is just summer with a little wind.

anyways, some pictures are included at the bottom!!

snuggling into this cozy blanket and hugging you back, because i finally did it!! and it's cool because we are almost in the same timezone now :) preparing you a nice cup of tea and some timtams i smuggled into the country (don't tell customs) <3333333

NERO MY BELOVED SOULMATE BESTIE!!!!

i’m back!!! i took a few weeks off because life has been a lot and i felt like i needed a little break from everything 🥲

how are you?? what have you been up to in these last few weeks?? i missed you so much!! and i have stories to tell!!

so, i went to paris for a week back in october. i don’t know if you knew this, but paris has been plagued by a bug infestation lately, and the week before me and my friend were supposed to leave they also started having bomb alarms around the city. like the day before we left versailles had been evacuated for a bomb (it was a false alarm in the end) so we were kinda scared and worried. but the city was okay and we didn’t have much of a choice so we went. it was amazing!!! the first two days were perfect, the weather was absolutely amazing, freezing but always sunny, and we walked around the classic spots of the city. we had lots of macarons and croissants too. that was always the best part of the day. then on day three we’d booked versailles. on the day before it had been evacuated again for a false alarm so i thought it would be safe, they checked the night before, but well… after we’d been inside one hour the guards started to talk hurriedly to each other and they led us to the exits, we got evacuated. it looked like they were trying not to cause a panic but it didn’t work, also because there were way too many people inside!! it was crazy and scary, but luckily we were okay and we got safely out. and it was another false alarm, luckily. we decided not to let it ruin the whole trip so that night we went to the eiffel tower and had a nice dinner and dessert. then day four was disneyland!!! it was SPECTACULAR!!! nero have you ever been to a disneyland park?? it is everything you could ever hope it to be. it is pure magic, pure happiness. my friend and i felt like we were outside of the universe, it felt like nothing could touch us, like no problem could reach us. we were kids again. we were singing along to all the songs from our childhood and riding all the attractions and posing with princesses and cartoon animals and we bought so many little souvenirs to keep the magic with us. i got a cheshire cat plushie which is now my favorite thing i own. i have absolutely no regrets even if it costed 30 euros. same goes for my minnie’s ears which had a unicorn horn and a rainbow veil (see attached photograph) another 30 bucks, i have worn them only once, and i love them to pieces 😂 anyways, now is where the fun part really starts. we walked out of disneyland at 11pm after the night show (made me cry for 30 minutes straight, totally would recommend) and we had to take a train to get to the underground. well obviously there was a suspicious backpack at the station so it was closed for about 30 minutes to figure out what it was. it was late and our phones were almost dead so we tried to look for a taxi or bus and they’d put up a special bus service to take us to the closest train station, but as you can imagine it was absolutely packed and when we got off my friend noticed that her bag was open and her wallet was gone. we rushed back to the park to see if they’d had it in the last shop where she bought something but nothing, then we rushed back home to call the police and block all the cards, but of course we only got to the champs-elysées and then they kicked us out of the underground because it was closing. again our phones were out of battery so we didn’t even know if the buses were still running or not or how to call a cab, but luckily a cab passed by like two minutes later and we managed to get back to the hotel. and well, the 24h hotel door was closed. we panicked for about 10 minutes and ringed the bell a thousand times before anyone came to open the door. they were “just in the back for a minute” and i mean, fair enough, but on top of everything it was just the last drop.

anyways, the next morning we went to the police and got all the documents we needed to get back to italy and it was okay, it was just a very long wait for a two seconds job so it pissed me off a bit, but still we had a whole day and a half left so we enjoyed it. we had the louvre planned for that afternoon and it was so beautiful. and it was very heartstopping. pun intended 😂 we actually went and looked for every room we saw in the show and stayed about five hours in each one. this is where elle and tao kiss for the first time, it’s the exact place. can you guess how much i cried??

the only thing we couldn’t find was the painting on the stairs where nick talks to elle. i was very upset about that :( but anyways, the next day we came home and all i can say for this trip is wow. it felt like a five months trip somehow 😂 it was tiring and stressful and it tested my anxiety a lot, but honestly it was kind of perfect. this friend i was with is my opposite and my half in a lot of things and somehow we managed to laugh it all off whenever something crazy happened and we still had one of the absolute best trips of my life. i am so happy, i actually am getting a tattoo for our day at disneyland because it feels necessary hehe

and speaking of tattoos, i have a new one to show you!!! i finally got another heartstopper tattoo!!! and it is perfect and my favorite ever ♥️ i’ve wanted this vignette on my skin forever, and every time i see it it reminds me of everything about this story and it makes me so happy

anyways, enough about me!!! i’ve been away from this hellsite for so long, so how are you?? how is life?? i am very eager to catch up!!

i’m sending you a macaron because i am craving them again now (i’ve tried the marie antoniette macaron and i swear to god it feels like drinking a cup of tea, it’s unreal) and a warm tea to drink as you read because i’ve written so damn much, i can’t tell a simple story i missed you so so so much nero <3333

HELLO CECE MY BELOVED SOULMATE BESTIE!!!

it is so wonderful to hear from you!! i missed you so so much!! i was wondering how your trip went!! tbh i have been very on and off this website just because life is so exhausting :') i'm very excited to catch up with what's been happening with you!!

yes! i did hear about the bedbug thing! i had a few friends in paris around the same time and it was also all over the news here (funny that...) but i did not hear about the bomb alarms, that must have been so scary!! oh i can only imagine how lovely the macarons and the croissants were. nothing would be better than the original! i'm glad it was a false alarm and that you all got out safe. that must have been terrifying. AND DISNEYLAND?! cece i have never ever been to a disneyland but it has always been a dream of mine! i think the closest disneyland to me is japan or singapore 😭😭😭 but that's so wonderful to hear that you had such a lovely time!!! what was your favourite ride? any snacks you would recommend?? i would love to see the cheshire cat plushy, it sounds adorable! and the minnie ears!!! i'm obsessed and you're right: buying ears at disneyland is essential, it doesn't matter if you only wear them for the day! and what an end to a good day ��😂 that sounds so anxiety-inducing, i audibly gasped as i was reading 😂

literally!!! government documents and officials make you wait so long for something that takes so little time!!! it's so fucking frustrating >:( the louvre!!! that would have been so cool, and it would have had extra meaning because of the show!! and i think i would have died a little, looking at the exact spot elle and tao had their first kiss! i don't blame you for crying at all 😂😂

a positive is that you got to see every other painting and iconic place from heartstopper and that's all that matters!! the trip sounded like so much fun, but yes, very draining with all those things not going to plan!! and i'm so glad you went with a friend who would laugh it all off with you and still make sure you guys had a good time!! that would have been so lovely! oh and absolutely you need to get a disneyland tattoo!! that would be perfect!

speaking of perfect, your new tattoo is so cute!!!! i love that panel too and it's just such a good representation of nick and charlie's relationship throughout the series!! and a really good placement too. ugh you always get the best tattoos!

as for me, i've been doing okay!! i have finished university for the year, and i am currently preparing for my exchange (i go to the uk NEXT MONTH! cece that is so crazy) a part of preparing for my exchange is unfortunately working a lot, but i have been rostered every single public holiday coming up so i should be getting a good amount of money before i leave!

and you'll be happy to know that after the christmas/new year's period, i'm going to stop working and have a few weeks of rest before i go!! i'm planning on just catching up with friends before i leave, packing and just actually getting a good night's sleep 😂😂

oh, also! i know you wanted little updates about what was going on in my love life, sooooooo... in the time you've been gone, i managed to get a girlfriend!!! i'm very happy and i have no clue what i am doing at all times, but it's good :)

i'm going to send you a little pavlova (a meringue like dessert australians typically have around christmas time, loaded with fruit and cream) and a little iced tea to go with, because my god, is it hot in australia right now. miss you heaps!!! <3

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao

ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so

you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry

and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)

anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.

after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)

he is trying to be this person at every second:

because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.

oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD

examples:

there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.

oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.

and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])

i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say

ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.

allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])

prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.

also this picture.

what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross

he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.

oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about

(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)

1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING

2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH

3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are

like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.

god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)

so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’

i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao

ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case

jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:

and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)

something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:

ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.

and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.

‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.

i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.

i mean:

and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao

oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir

the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it

or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’

OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um

and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will

OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!

[mirkwoodshewolf]

On set visits; Queen x reader x Borhap boys pt. 1

*Author's note*

Alright so this part is broken up into 2 parts so here is the 1st part of the Bohemian Rhapsody film set visit. Part 2 will be up in just a second after I get done with this author's note. So expect some crazy stuff happening, fluffiness and the Rock Angel reminiscing on her past with the boys. 

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queensdivas​

@queendeakyy​

@wormzteef​

@geek-and-proud​

@starswin​

@isabella-bby​

@onebigfangirlworld​

@labessieisallama​

@5sos-wdw​

@ssa-sadboi​

@naturalswifty89​

@bohemiansweede

_________________________________________________________

*Sept. 2017. Filming Bohemian Rhapsody*

I almost couldn't believe it myself. I mean I knew that the boys were planning on a film about themselves and that it was taking them almost 10 years just to get it off the ground. But now after multiple rewrites of the script and better casting, the film was ready to get off the ground.

"So you're absolutely sure I can stop by whenever I feel like it? No matter how many times?" I spoke into my I-phone.

'Absolutely love, just as long as you don't spill any secrets.'

"Please Bri, when have I ever revealed anything to anyone about you guys?"

'Well there was the time—'

"That was a fluck and you know it!" I snapped.

'I'm kidding love, you've never spilled any secrets. You've gotten better at lying lately.' Brian chuckled.

"Well when you say it like that it makes me feel guilty."

'As it should love. So when can we expect you?'

"I'll try to get there before the filming starts, so I may end up going to bed now so that way I can get on the road early enough to beat traffic."

'I know Rog is looking forward to seeing you again.'

"I just did the summer tour with you guys, how could he already miss me?"

'It's a mystery to all of us, but he is your father after all.'

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay well I'll see you tomorrow Bri."

'See you then (y/n). sweet dreams and drive safe tomorrow.'

"Will do. Love you."

'Love you too poppet.' I then hung up and couldn't help but grin.

"You still going over to see them film tomorrow?" I turned and low and behold after a long day's shift there was my husband coming in from his police work.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat threw up." I teased.

"Ha-ha you're hilarious my love." He said as he undid his tie and unbuttoned his short. "So the film's finally taking off the ground?"

"Yep, and they finally found a better Freddie Mercury."

"Yeah cause I remember when you called and told me about Sacha Baron Cohen."

"I just couldn't stand the fact that he was wanting to expose the dark side of Freddie. I mean yeah he had the parties, and the drugs, the sex, but that's all what Rock and rollers did back in those days. Plus that's all he seemed to care about. The scandal that came with Freddie's name, nothing about the music. I'm only just glad Bri sided with me on it." I ranted as Jack came up after taking his shirt and undoing his pants and began to rub my shoulders.

"I know love. You're as protective of this project as Brian and Roger are. So do you know who exactly they got to play Freddie this time?"

"No, but I'll find out tomorrow."

"Okay well, my team's got a heavy lead on the case so I won't really be available tomorrow."

"I understand. Just—promise me you'll be careful my love. I haven't forgotten that one killer that shot you in the line of duty."

"I survived didn't I? Plus now we both have a bullet story to share." He leaned his forehead against mine.

"Not funny Jack." I muttered.

"I know. C'mon let's get some sleep. We both have got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." I nodded and then we both got into bed and we fell asleep.

Early the next morning I was on my way over to the set driving in my own car without a driver. As I approached the set gate of course I was stopped by security.

"Badge and proof of visitation ma'am." I handed him the badge that Roger had sent in for me and some documentation that I needed to show him saying that I was not only visiting but a consultant for the movie to help the actors get to know the true Queen. "Everything checks out Mrs. Kline, here you go and have a good day."

"You too uhh—Marvin." I read his nametag before putting my VIP badge around my neck as the gate opened and I drove on inside.

After about 10 minutes I finally was able to find a parking space. I got out of the car and locked it up before walking towards the set. I was told by Brian that the actors had been prepping for the biggest scene they were going to film, the Live Aid sequence.

When I came around and actually stepped up onto the stage, I was blown away and taken back to the summer of 1985. Jesus they—the production got every single detail down to the paint chippings. The rigged lights that Queen had the day they performed, Roger's kit and the grand piano with Freddie's Pepsi cups filled with beer.

"Oh my god. Jack if only you were here to see this." I muttered to myself. It was then I saw Brian talking to someone but—wait did he? Did he seriously dye his hair back to its original dark curls? I walked up to him but waited till he was done talking to some of the producers. Once he was I tapped his shoulder and he turned around and—oh wow I just....wow.

I don't know whether this is a prank or time travel does exist but I swear I'm literally looking at Brian the day I had met him.

"Okay it's official. I think I have finally cracked." I said as I placed my hand over my forehead.

"I'm sorry ma'am do you need to sit down or can I get you a cup of water?" Oh god he even sounds like Brian.

"Ahhh seems you two have already met. And here I thought I could surprise you." I turned and there was—Brian? My Brian with the grey curls now. Wait what!? What is going on here!?

"What the f—"

"Ah, ah language young lady!" Brian scolded.

"You must be the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline, Brian and Roger have told us a lot about you. Pardon me, Gwilym Lee." He said as he extended his hand to me. I shook it and said in awe.

"Ahhhh, now I see it. Sorry Gwilym dear, never did I think I'd see two Brian's at once. I swear to god you look—exactly like Brian when I met him."

"Anita said the exact same thing. Cheeky woman was even trying to flirt with him." Brian said as he pouted towards the end..

"No she didn't." I gawked.

"I'm afraid it's true." Gwilym said with a blush. I shook my head softly laughing.

"Oh that woman I tell you what."

"Well I can tell you one thing I know a certain someone of the cast who will flip out once he sees you." said Gwilym.

"And just who might that be?" I asked him.

"The young lad whose playing Deacy, Joe Mazzello."

"Kept ranting on and on about your Live Aid performance and how you and Deacy used to interact with each other in your performances together."

"Ahh yes. Me and my dear brother mine." I sighed with a solemn smile.

"I—I'm sorry I-I-I didn't mean to......"

"No, no Gwilym it's fine. While sometimes I do wish he could still be around, I completely understand why he chose to leave the band. Hell without Brian and Rog I—I don't even want to think what I would've done after Freddie died." I soon brushed my sorrows away and said, "Now come here Gwilym I want to get a closer look at you." he came up to me and we stood face to face of each other.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked him up and down before cupping each side of his face gently.

"God they chose right for my Brian. I swear, it's like Gwilym is your long lost son Bri." I said as my eyes turned toward Brian.

"I'm beginning to think you might be right." Joked Brian. I stepped back from Gwilym and said to him.

"I can't wait to see the full Live Aid recreation with you all in full costume."

"I hope we do you proud Mrs. Kline."

"First of all, call me (y/n). Secondly, I'm already proud. From what I've heard from Brian and Roger, I have no doubt in my mind that we've entrusted the right group of actors with Freddie's and Queen's upbringing tale to absolute rock gods."

"You flatter us too much (y/n)." Brian gushed.

"Only because you old fossils deserve it." I teased as I stuck my tongue out at him to which Brian did his little eyebrow quirk at me. I giggled softly and continued. "Well before filming starts, I'm gonna continue to look around the set. I'm told the lower decks where all the performers were settled in are just like how they were when we were there. Ciao Brians'." I walked away from them with a wave of my hand.

After exploring more of the set design and going down memory lane it was then I came across another look-a-like. Holding the famed natural Fender precision Bass guitar and wearing that god awful tacky shirt that I secretly wished I had told him not to wear, and having the iconic mushroom fluffy hair was the actor who was playing Deacy, Joe Mazzello.

One of the hair designers was fluffing up the wig to make sure it was up to Deacy's standard. And god just like with Gwilym, Joe was practically identical to Deacy.

It was just like seeing Deacy again back when he was happy and content with where Queen was at, just before finding out about Freddie's illness (which I had found out from Spike several years ago that Deacy had actually known since the last tour Queen ever did with Freddie).

I smiled softly as I watched him get ready for the camera. His wide smile reminded me so much of Deacy's. Slowly I walked up towards him and as the hairdresser looked him over Joe asked.

"So how does it look?"

"I think you look terrific." I said.

"Wait who said—OH MY GOD!!!" he screamed as he turned around and saw me. Like all usual fanboys, he jumped back, his mouth was gaped and his eyes were wide.

"Close your mouth please Joe dear we are not a codfish." His mouth immediately closed.

"Y-you-you-you're....."

"The Rock—"

"Rock Angel." We both said together slowly. "Call me (y/n)." I greeted as I extended my hand out to him and he took it hold of it and shook it.

"I just—I can't believe that I'm-I'm-I'm actually standing beside the Rock Angel." I softly giggled.

"Just know that beyond the glam and the rock star female empowerment, I'm just a normal 55 year old woman."

"But you still look good." He said. I quirked my brow at him so he quickly tried to save himself, "Not that you're old or anything. I mean I don't mean to offend you I just....."

"Joseph. Relax dear. I'm not offended at all. Freddie always said that I would end up being an eternal beauty. At first I thought it was just Freddie being Freddie but as the years have passed I think he—that he must be behind giving me this youthful glow."

"The Rock Angel called me dear," he first gushed with a shy smile. "Sorry I just...... I grew up listening to your albums along with Queen and the first time I saw one of your broadcast performances, I kinda had a little crush on you" He said gently.

"Aww I'm flattered Joe, really I am." I said as I gently cupped the side of his face and gave his cheek a stroke of my thumb. At that point he looked like he was about to melt into a puddle with how much joy he was probably filled with. "Now Joe forgive me for saying this, how long have you been acting?"

"I was a child actor actually. I've—always been in the acting business. Why do you ask?"

"Well besides seeing some of my brother's features I feel like I've—seen you in something before."

"You might recall a little film that came out in the 90's known as Jurassic Park?"

"Wait hold on—you...." I gasped. "You played little Tim Murphy!?!"

"Yes, yes I was Tim Murphy."

"Oh my god. When that film came out my twin boys were literally obsessed with that movie. Would not watch anything else for a full year. They even wore out the old VHS tape we had for it. Oh my god how could I not recognize you sooner?"

"Well I was 8 just turning 9 while we were filming it."

"You had a birthday while filming?"

"Yeah. It was during the kitchen scene with the raptor. I actually got injured on that day."

"What? What happened?" he then proceeded to tell me exactly what had happened. Of how the raptor they used was on wheels and he was running toward the fridge and he was supposed to go left while the raptor was supposed to go right, but the guy controlling the raptor lost control and went the same direction as Joe and he ended up getting hit in the face with a metal claw.

And it was at that moment the director Steven Spielberg and the rest of the crew sang Happy birthday to him.

Then of course he tried to ask Joe at that moment if they could try it again, but when Joe proved he couldn't do it, they wrapped for that day.

"Oh you poor thing."

"It's okay, I survived."

"Well I hope you never suffered an injury like that since then. And on your birthday too? That's never a good birthday present to get a concussion."

"I was cleared out with no concussion, just a little dizzy and a bit of bruising."

"Oh I'm sorry love, it's my inner mother instincts kicking in."

"She always was an overprotective mother." We both turned around and I saw Roger walking up sporting the black beanie I gave him for Christmas last year and another actor who was sporting the Roger Taylor look he had for Live Aid.

"Oh look who's talking smother father! For years since I've known you you've been the definition of helicopter parent." I gawked at him. "You still sometimes even threaten Jack with missing out on our dates cause of our jobs."

"And I've always told you that boy would be trouble one day." He teased as he came up to me.

"Wow so it is actually true, you guys do look at each other as father and daughter." Said the young actor playing Roger.

"Yes Ben, my adoptive daughter (Y/n) Kline, otherwise known as the Rock Angel." Roger introduced.

"So you're the young actor playing my main father figure eh?" I said as I looked at the young man.

"Yes. Ben Hardy, it's a real honor to meet you in person Mrs. Kline. To say I was nervous to meet Roger is nothing compared to the thought of meeting you."

"Are you saying I'm intimidating and unapproachable?" I asked offendedly.

"Wha? No! No! God no I-I-I-I didn't mean it that way I was just...." I interrupted him with a laugh and said.

"Dear, relax. I was just pulling your leg."

"And be thankful she was. Otherwise, I'd beat your arse boy for insulting my daughter." Roger protectively stated.

"See there you go you old hypocrite. Besides Rog you haven't been able to kick anyone's arse in years. Don't want you breaking a hip now do we?" I mocked him.

"You're lucky these boys are here little missy." Roger scolded me.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now then Ben, you were once on EastEnders right?" I said turning my attention back toward Ben.

"Yes. I played Peter Boyle on the show. My recent film before this was the new X-Men movie that came out about a year ago. X-Men Apocalypse."

"Ahh yes, my youngest son is always obsessed with all the superhero films. Marvel or DC. Now I'd like to see you two more closely, stand together." Both Joe and Ben followed orders and I looked both of them up and down.

Circling around them before cupping each of their faces once by one. And yes Ben was a bit more muscular than Roger was and of course they didn't get his hair right for this part in time, but there was just something in Ben's eyes that just made me think back to the first day I met Roger.

That sparkle of mischief but also protectiveness that shown through those blue eyes of his.

"That is most definitely my Roger. You both have the same spirit in your eyes. I can't wait to see how you play the drums up on that stage."

"Yeah, me neither." He said with a hint of nervousness. I then went over to Joe and cupped his face too. Just—my god just like with Deacy the profile was just uncanny. Of course, Deacy's eyes were more of a hazel type while Joe's were like a brownish type color. But I couldn't deny he looked so much like my brother. "And you my dear Joseph. Gwilym isn't the only one to resemble the man he's playing."

"It was kinda scary after getting the wig on. So much so that I called my mom and asked her what she was doing in 1983?" I laughed and said as I took my hands away from his face.

"Unfortunately, I can tell you for a fact that John Deacon is not your father. The only lady he's ever loved and will love is Veronica."

"I know." I chuckled softly.

"Now then Joe if you'll come with me there's important things I need to discuss with you."

"Like what?"

"You'll see. It was wonderful to meet you Ben, I hope we can get to know each other better later after you all film the Live Aid concert."

"Yeah of course, it was wonderful to meet you Mrs. Kline."

"Please call me (y/n). Dad you better not be too hard on this one, I like him."

"Don't worry I won't break him too much." The four of us went our separate ways.

Joe and I arrived at my trailer (all thanks to Rog and Bri). We entered inside and I told Joe to take a seat. He sat down on my couch while I went over to the kitchen.

"Tea?"

"Yes please. One sugar please."

"Just like how he liked it." I muttered to myself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing love, nothing." I prepped the tea for him and once it was done I handed him his cup and he thanked me. I watched him take a sip and he said,

"Ahh never gets old. I'm telling you after this I may just be the biggest tea fan ever."

"It is good for the soul. I myself have always found Jasmine to be the way to nirvana." I paused for a brief moment before saying, "Joe." He looked at me giving me his full attention, "As you know probably from weeks of research and maybe even from Roger and Brian themselves, Deacy chose to exempt himself from all forms of stardom. To live a quiet life with his family."

"Yeah. When I first got the part I did reach out to him on just any personal advice on certain quirks that he did. Cause even though I've played real life people before, this is the first time I'm playing someone whose still alive, and I wanted to do him justice."

"Yes, quite."

"However all I got back was just that he approved of the project and just for me to take it as any other actor would. Not that I'm saying that I'm mad at him for saying that. But I just—"

"I get it. Really I do." I took his hand and gripped onto it comfortingly. "Look. Ever since Freddie died, Deacy has been—grieving. Just like he did for me, it was Freddie who helped bring Deacy out of his shell and become more involved with the band. Not just being the bass player or the quiet guy."

"The King of the one liners, the tie breaker of Queen." Joe stated.

"Yes, although John could be loud and rowdy when he wanted to. He was definitely Queen's wildcard, but he was also their Ace. Unpredictable but incredibly brilliant. Never have I met a bass player quite like him. Nor do I think I ever will." It was quiet for what felt like forever when Joe asked me.

"Do you—do you still speak to him? I mean, cause I read that you both basically grew up close together, even for being 11 years apart from each other."

"Yes. We actually lived 20 minutes from each other back in our youth. He was and will always be my brother mine." I sighed heavily. "And to answer your question, I must remind you he's always been.....a cautious subject to me. Any remembrance of Freddie just makes him break, and as I'm sure you've seen from my concert footages I, sometimes, subconsciously find myself doing some Freddie movements on stage. Whether it's flicking my wrist like he did, strutting around the stage or waving my arms like he did. Deacy's.....he knows those things. But he's always there for me when I needed him. The last time was—on the tragedy of 9-11."

"Wait you mean....."

"Jack's cousin Jared and his wife Gen, they—they were on the plane that was overtaken by the terrorists. Took five days to finally find their bodies. Jared holding Gen in his arms. It was a risk but—I knew Jack needed more support than just his American family. So he and I went over to John and Veronica's place. We went at the early mornings of course just so that way no one would spot us driving in midday and try to track us down, then at sunrise we walked up to the door and—there he was. When Jack told him what had happened, he—actually invited us in and allowed us to stay the entire time. He ended up being the right support Jack needed."

"Your husband and John were close?"

"Oh yes. More alike than you know. Both incredibly talented bass players. That's how Jack got Deacy's approval when Jack and I started hanging out. He even gave my husband private lessons."

"Wow."

"Yes. They were practically inseparable the two of them for that summer. Even during their rehearsals, you would see Deacy go in the corner and practice what riffs he'd teach my Jack next. However that was the last time I ever actually saw Deacy, 16 long years ago. Haven't gotten in contact with him since. But occasionally, at least according to Brian, he asks them how I'm doing as well as Jack."

"I hope he's living a quiet and happy life with his kids and wife."

"I know they are. I still keep in contact with Ronnie whenever I can, sometimes we go out shopping, fawn over grandchildren pics, and just catching up. She was the mother I needed when I first had Kelly."

"Sounds like she was the ultimate mama."

"You have no idea." I felt Joe place his free hand on top of mine that still had his. I smiled softly at him before I got down to the real reason why I brought him here. "Joseph, now I know that when it comes to acting, Hollywood can pick whomever they deem worthy for a role, especially if it's for a real person. I'll be honest with you; hearing your American accent puts me a little on edge. Cause I have heard some pretty bad English accents on screen that just make me want to pull my ears off agonizingly slow. Now I know Deacy has probably the most unique accent from anyone in Leicester, I mean you hear my accent and I sound nothing like his dialect. So what I want to ask of you, just for the sake of you playing my brother, may I hear you speak with John's accent?"

"What-what would you like me to say?"

"Maybe say what you did for the audition. Or anything that comes to your head. It doesn't even have to be an interview Deacy did, I just want to hear your accent." He nodded before sitting back on the couch while I leaned back on the chair.

He adjusted himself before finally miming that he was driving a car before he finally spoke about when Deacy first joined the band. The one interview he did during the 'News of the World' tour with Bob Harris.

I felt like at that moment my heart had stopped. My hands slowly covered my mouth in a prayer style while the corner of my eyes watered. And sure there were certain words that he said that still sounded American but—this was my brother. I....I was actually looking at my brother right now. They got it right.

By the end of it, Joe looked at me and his eyes grew concerned as he said.

"Did I screw up?" I stood up from my chair in silence. I then walked over to him and knelt down in front of him cupping his face. A wide smile spread across my face as I immediately hugged him and softly sobbed.

"You are my Deacy! My brother mine." I then felt him embrace me back and the two of us rocked side to side. I looked up to the heavens praying that Fred was looking down knowing he would've loved Joe playing his Deacy. "If you ever need any advice or help, I'm here for you. Promise me Joe Mazzello that you will come to me with anything regarding Deacy."

"I promise (y/n)." he still spoke with Deacy's accent which filled me with both sorrow and happiness.

We stayed that way for god knows how long. After composing myself, we left my trailer when one of the volunteers came up to us and said.

"Joe, they're ready to start filming the concert."

"Shall we go on?" I asked.

"Yes, let's." God he had my brother's quick wit already. He crooked his arm out which made me grin softly. I looped my arm through his and the two of us walked on towards the Live Aid stage.

I stood alongside Roger, Peter Freestone (Freddie's former assistant and the other consultant for the film) as well as Brian's youngest daughter Emily (who in every way was so much like her father from the hair to the smile).

"I think this will be a great shoot, don't you think (y/n)?" asked Peter.

"Indeed Pheebs. And I'm sure Freddie would've loved to have seen it."

"He would indeed." He said as he wrapped an arm around me and soon Brian came and stood beside us after being backstage with the young actors who then came out just as Queen did that day back in 85. When I saw the young actor playing our Freddie, I was already impressed.

Sure he was skinnier than Freddie was, but seeing him move about just as Freddie did it was like I was seeing Freddie right before my eyes. The boys got into position and soon began to perform the entire Live Aid concert.

Besides actually being there and seeing them perform from the wings that day over 30 years ago, this was about the greatest concert performance I had ever seen.

The boys in full costume had everything down. Gwilym channeled Brian's solo on Bohemian Rhapsody, Ben was pretty impressive on the drums, Joe had Deacy's rhythmic moves down, and the young man playing Freddie he—it was beyond what I could imagine. He wasn't just moving like Freddie, it was like he knew why Freddie would move a certain way to a song.

I was in awe cause it felt like I had actually traveled back in time and was watching Queen's most historical performance once again. I stood behind Brian and wrapped my arms around his shoulders leaning up against his head smiling from ear to ear, I felt Brian take one of my hands and gently patted it every now and then.

When the Aye-Oh's happened I could help but lowered my head and holding my laughs of joy. I swear when this is over, I need to talk to this new actor playing Freddie cause unlike Sacha, this was our Freddie. Soon Hammer to Fall came on and I couldn't help but bop my head along to the song.

I felt a tap at my shoulder and I turned to see Emily holding her phone out with the notes app open. In the app it read.

'Is this how you remember it Aunt (y/n)?' I walked towards her and gestured for me to have her phone. She handed it to me and I typed out.

'Everything and more. God I wish your cousin Kelly could've been here to see this as well as your uncle Jack. They would've loved it.' I showed her my message and she came up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders as the two of us smiled happily up at the stage.

When Hammer to Fall concluded, the extras and even me and team Queen applauded. I let out a loud whistle from the sidelines as I applauded and took pictures with my own phone to show Jack and the kids later. Now I recall that it was at this time the guys ended up surprising me and the world with our duet "Set it all free" instead of the planned 'Crazy Little thing called love'.

Now I've been skeptical about having a biopic film about me, even though I knew both Queen and Elton were starting theirs at the same time, hell one of the producers Dexter Fletcher is currently directing Elton's film 'Rocketman' as we speak right now. So I didn't know if they would plan to do Crazy little thing or if they'd go the set as it was all those years ago.

I got my answer however when Ben started to play the drum intro to my song.

"You guys didn't." I muttered.

"We wanted to be historically accurate with the Live Aid set." Brian started.

"So we cooked up a little surprise for you." Roger said. It was then I heard the actor playing Freddie began chanting out along with the audience "An-gel! An-gel! An-gel!" it was then I saw a young girl come out and—by god it was like looking at my younger self from that day.

She was dressed exactly how I was with a pregnant belly suit underneath her shirt. Her hair was designed the same way as mine was, everything just took me back. Instead of a playback that the Freddie actor was using for all the singing, this young woman was actually singing and she had a pretty good voice.

I continued to watch in awe as the young woman basically became me doing each step or movement I did that day on Live Aid. I felt Brian and Roger wrap their arms around me as I couldn't even take my eyes off the young woman up on stage. I could hear the extras singing out the lyrics, even some of the crew members were bopping their heads and singing along.

She walked across the stage at the second verse right towards the Freddie actor and just like Fred and I did, they stood forehead to forehead singing the duet before she walked back out and went back to center stage. When the guitar solo came on, my eyes turned to Gwilym and he amazed me that he actually could do my hard rock solo.

After the song was over, the crowd applauded and cheered and I turned to the guys and hugged them and whispered into their ears.

"If this is you guys way of trying to get me to sign onto a biopic film......I'm highly considering it after seeing her."

"We'll introduce you later." Said Roger as we separated from the hug and we turned our attention back to the guys as We Will Rock you now began playing. I couldn't help myself by stomp my feet to the rhythm and mouth out the words.

I was just amazed by not only Gwilym's guitar playing but also the young man who moved just like how I remembered seeing Freddie move, using the mic stand as Fred always did (the cheeky man), even the facial expressions that he made were exactly like they were.

It wasn't until when 'We are the champions' came on that I could barely hold my tears in. Seeing not only Fred's actor but my actor singing the famed Queen anthem that has literally been played in every victory sport or award winning singing competition.

Seeing the two of them interact with each other, it was pure nostalgia.

By the end of the song, tears welled up in my eyes and I looked toward the heavens hoping that Freddie could see this and running through my mind I already knew what he'd say.

"Amazing jobs my darlings, not as fabulous as me but very, very close." When the extras and even some crew members cheered, Brian, Roger, Peter, Emily and myself all applauded and cheered for the boys and that's when the director called cut.

"This.....is gonna be a great movie." I said.

"I think so too. After just seeing them come together like that, I think we've finally casted the right people to play us." Said Brian.

"I agree you two, I'm liking what I've just seen so far." Roger said.

"And—I'm sure he would've liked this too." I said solemnly. I felt Roger gently rub my back and Brian said.

"I know he would."

After a few more takes of filming the Live Aid concert, the director said that it was enough for today. I walked around the set to find the producer Graham King and when I approached him I asked him.

"Graham tell me, who's the young man you got to play Freddie?"

"Oh his name is Rami Malek. His recent project was a show called Mr. Robot."

"Ahh yes I've heard of that, my Freddie is obsessed with that show. Never misses an episode."

"When we were casting Freddie I happened to come across an episode and when I saw him I—just thought I was looking at Freddie. So we brought him in, he gave us a mock interview as well as an audition that your boys saw when they first met him. And from then on it just fell into place. Do you approve of him? Is there a problem Mrs. Kline?"

"Absolutely not. Do you know where I can find Rami at right now?"

"Probably in hair and makeup getting undressed."

"Well, when he is done would you be so kind as to bring him to my trailer?"

"Of course (y/n)." I nodded in gratitude and walked off to my trailer.

I sat there once again on the chair looking through an old photo album. Each picture held a deep and personal memory for me, I thought back to the day that each picture was taken and remembered exactly what was going on at that very moment.

A knock was soon heard at my trailer. I composed myself with a deep exhale and said.

"Come in." the door opened and there without costume or the tache was Rami Malek.

"Graham said you wanted to see me Mrs. Kline?"

"Yes Rami, love please come in." he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. "Take a seat." I gestured towards the couch. He sat right where Joe had sat down earlier this morning and I said. "Would you care for a biscuit, or as Americans call them cookies?"

"Uhh yes please." I smiled and handed him a tray of biscuits I always kept around me (hey a woman's gotta have her sweet tooth fix right?) and handed him my best plate of chocolate chip cookies (all thanks to my mother in law's secret recipe). He thanked me as he took one and took a bite out of it. "Mmm. Oh my god," he cleared his throat and closed his mouth before finishing the biscuit up. "This is so good."

"Thank you, it was my mother in law's secret recipe. She passed it onto me shortly before Kelly was born." He took another bite of it and swallowed that piece before saying as he set it down on a napkin that I had also provided.

"What-what was it you needed to see me for Mrs.—"

"Before we continue, I'll ask you to call me the same way I've asked the other three of the band to call me. Call me (y/n)."

"Yes of course, (y/n). What was it you wanted to see me for? Is it to talk about what you saw out there? Did I screw it up already?"

"No, no dear relax. This is nothing in the way you're thinking." I saw him take a sigh of relief.

"Oh good. Cause I know I obviously wasn't the first choice for the job."

"In my books Rami, you should've been the first one to be called for the role."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, but first there's a couple of questions that I want to ask you that Brian and Roger might not have asked you, and I want you to answer them as Freddie would've."

"Okay." I smiled softly and stood up from my seat as I set the phot album aside.

"Who is Queen not without?"

"That's easy. It's you darling. There's no Queen without their beloved Rock Angel, and no Rock Angel without her four aging Queens." I felt my heart clench at hearing Rami speak with a British tone. The softness of his voice almost sounded identical to Freddie's voice. I turned towards him and walked towards the kitchen area of my trailer.

"Who is it that you trust the most?"

"Mary. Mary is the one I trust the most. For she knows me like no one else ever will." I reached the kitchen and rested my hand against the island.

"Who are you?" Rami looked at me before finally answering something that would forever stun me.

"I've been asked that all my life. By my family, student peers, professors, the entire world. I've been told who I should strive to be but I say fuck what they say. They don't define me. No, I decided who I am. I'm going to be what I was born to be. A performer who gives the people what they want." He pointed towards the ceiling as he whispered, "touch of the heavens." He dropped his hand before finally answering, "Freddie Fucking Mercury."

My lips quivered and I ducked my head as tears began falling down my face for—god knows how many times right now.

"Oh (y/n) I—I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry, I—did I say something wrong?" Rami said urgently as he stood up and stood in front of me.

"No." I choked out. I sniffled and that's when he handed me a tissue. Oh ever the kind gentleman and concerned about my wellbeing, just like Freddie was. "No you—you've prove to me that you know just who Freddie truly was."

"Didn't want to be put in a certain category or be stereotyped." He said. I nodded as I wiped my tears with the tissue he had given me.

"For as long as I have known Freddie, especially to his last, various people have chosen one of two sides. There's the one side that the press made him out to be. The one that-that—bastard Cohen wanted to portray Freddie as. The wild, crazed, homosexual drug addict. That he deserved what he had gotten because he was so reckless and stupid. That AIDS was his form of suicide. Never did I want to punch and murder so many people. Every time I got asked about whether Freddie's death was his own fault, I just wanted to rip the interviewer apart."

"I can see why. I bet a lot of true fans and the people who knew Freddie well would've done what you've felt like doing."

"But people like you Rami, who understand that Freddie wasn't just a frontman or greatest performer to ever live. That he did come from a harsh background but rose above all the trials and tribulations that came his way to define himself as he sought out to be. That's why he was my biggest idol." I grabbed the photo album and sat down on the couch and opened it up taking out a picture that was always a favorite of mine.

It was a picture that Deacy took of Freddie and I together just after my very first performance as the Rock Angel at Madison Square Garden. Fred's arms wrapped around me as he had picked me up, huge wide smiles were spread across our faces. I felt a dip on my left side I looked up to see Rami sitting close beside me. He looked down at the picture before saying.

"Was this your first performance?"

"Yes. Out of four members of Queen, it was Freddie Mercury who truly believed that I could make a name for myself in the industry. Taught me everything there was into getting the self-confidence I needed to get up on that stage. Sure we had our ups and downs, but through all the falls we had, he never gave up on me. He gave up on no one that he loved. And Rami," we looked at each other and I told him the utmost truth, "If he were alive today, he would've loved you."

He smiled as I gently touched his cheek and the two of us looked through my photo album of every picture Freddie and I took throughout the 11 years I knew him.

At the end of the day, just before the four boys left to go hang out at a pub nearby, I stepped in and offered.

"Why not have dinner over at my place boys?"

"Oh we couldn't impose." Said Joe.

"Nonsense Joe, I insist and I won't take no for answer. Plus it'll be a more homely environment. You boys can't live on catering and pub foods for the next several months to a year. No I absolutely won't have it."

"Best go along with her boys, she got her persuasion from the best there was." Roger added in.

"Well—if you think it's a good idea." Said Gwilym.

"Of course it is. Now come on, you four can fit in my car. Let's go. Meet you there Brian and Roger?"

"We'll be right behind you love." Said Brian. I gestured the boys to follow me to my car. Ben sat up in the passenger seat, Joe sat behind him, Rami was in the middle and Gwilym sat behind me. I turned the engine on and told everyone to buckle up (mama instincts what can I say?) and we pulled out of the gate and I drove us on home.

"So (y/n), what other kind of music do you listen to?" asked Joe.

"Whatever song has a good voice and a good beat, with no autotune I will love. You can look through my Spotify and see what I have." Ben took my phone out of the phone holder and turned around as Joe took over the controls and went to my Spotify.

"Wow there are a lot of songs. And I thought you would've just stuck with what you grew up on."

"Unlike most rockstars like Roger who think everything after 1979 basically became trash music with the rise of pop or as they called it 'disco'. I'm a little more open minded. But I deny all songs that use explicit language every three words, degrading women, or promotes violence."

"You even got some old Christina Aguilera songs on here?" asked Rami.

"Who do you think helped produce her?"

"Shut the front door. You produced Christina Aguilera?"

"Yeah. I even gave her rights to a song that I wanted to do. But even singing it brought back some old wounds. So since I was helping her produce her album at the time, I turned to song over to her."

"What song was it?" asked Ben.

"Fighter."

"Shut up! That was literally my jam."

"I can attest to that. Throughout the filming of The Pacific, he would never shut that song off when getting into Eugene's character for certain episodes." Rami rose his hand.

"Yeah. I have an entire playlist of some songs I helped produce or make. You can play that playlist if you'd like. Or my typical playlist my boys best songs."

"I think in the light of our first day filming, we should go with Queen. What do you guys say?" Joe asked.

"Agree."

"Yep."

"Oh yeah."

"Aright then Joe, we'll each pick our favorite Queen song. You're up first little Tim." He grinned and scrolled through my playlist until Somebody to love came up on the speakers. "Read my mind Joseph." The piano began playing and that's when I vocalized alongside Freddie and the five of us began singing the song at the top of our lungs.

The entire car ride contained each of us picking our top favorite songs. Ben did 'White Queen' which I commended on him cause people nowadays tend to forget the old Queen songs, Gwilym picked Love of my Life, Rami chose Radio Gaga, and I, of course chose Bohemian Rhapsody.

Thanks to Wayne's world (yes I saw the movie and yes it was silly but just the opening scene alone made the movie worth watching) we basically did the same motion by motion that those boys did in the film when the operatic section came on. And of course when the headbanging rock out came on, the boys proceeded to bang their hands while I did mine not as aggressively (responsible driving kids!)

We continued to rock out to the song and it wasn't until by the end of the song that we soon arrived at my home. I pulled the car up into the garage and hit the clicker button which opened up the garage door and I pull inside just as the last line came up and Roger's gong rang off. I shut the engine and said.

"Here we are boys, welcome to casa de la Kline." We all exited out of my car and right behind us as scheduled were Brian and Roger with Bri getting out of the driver's seat. "Bout time you two got here, I was beginning to worry that I'd need to call in an ambulance."

"We're old dear, not dead." Roger sassed at me.

"But I still love you old coots. Just like I said all those years ago."

"That I do remember, the day right after you got so shitfaced after your 21st birthday. You remember that Brian?" Roger said.

"Indeed I do Rog, I even remember what we did to her to get her to apologize, think we need to do it again?"

"That might have to be arranged."

"Oh no you guys don't! We're not doing that now, now let's get inside before we all catch a cold." I guided them all inside. Once we stepped through the backdoor of the garage I could already smell something cooking, and I knew who exactly was cooking at this rate. "Baby! I'm home!" I called out from the hallway.

We turned the corner and soon came to the kitchen where a young man of 19 (going on 20 in a couple months) stood by the oven. He shut it off and turned around. He was every bit like his father when I first met him back in '83, but he had my eyes. When he saw me, he softly smiled and I came up to him.

"Sorry I didn't call in advance telling you that we would have more guests than your uncles."

"No worries mom. You know I've always cooked way more than I should." I smiled and cupped his face and we kissed each other's cheek. "Uncle Brian, uncle Roger."

"Hello Fred." Brian greeted.

"Hey lad, how's school been?"

"Oh you know, NYU's a challenge but I manage." He then directed his attention towards the young actors but when he eyes landed on Rami, he quickly grabbed my arm and whispered to me. "You didn't tell me you'd be bringing Rami Malek to our house!"

"Again slipped my mind." I teased him.

"Mom how dare you bring my celebrity crush here without telling me, look at me I'm a mess."

"Oh you're fine. Now best behavior." I wrapped an arm around my son and said. "Boys, this is my youngest son Freddie Mercury Kline. Fred, these are the boys that will be playing your uncles. This is Joe Mazzello, he'll be playing your uncle Deacy. Ben Hardy who's playing your old uncle Roger."

"Watch it lion cub." Rog warned me. I gave him a cheeky look before continuing the introductions.

"Gwilym Lee will be playing your uncle Brian, and you know Rami, he'll be playing the man you were named after."

"Uncle Freddie?"

"Yes. And—from what I've seen so far, you'll finally get to meet him through the screen."

"I don't doubt that. I'm a big fan of yours Rami, your role in Mr. Robot has been—amazing."

"I'm honored."

"Alright since we've all had a long day today, let's get some grub. Everyone grab a plate." I grabbed some extra plates from the cabinet and handed four plates out to the actors and we all assembled around the island to grab a piece of lasagna, peas, mashed potatoes with gravy and Hawaiian rolls.

Once we gathered around the table I set out the iced tea Jack had made a couple of days ago as well as some champagne or wine. "Okay guys, before we dig in I want all hands on deck." I extended my hand out.

Freddie immediately placed his hand on top of mine, Brian and Rog soon followed after and it was then Rami, Gwilym, Joe and finally Ben placed their hands on top.

"Thank you for this family, thank you for this meal. Thank you for this day. It'll be a wild ride, but I feel this movie will soar, and—that this new family will forever stay." I said ending the traditional family prayer. The young actors looked at me with warm eyes and soft smiles.

"Alright, let's dig in. You boys will never eat the same way again once you taste (y/n)'s cooking." Roger said.

"That bad?" joked Joe. I gawked at the young cheeky actor.

"On the contrary she's the best chief on this side of London. Even when she was an intern she made us this one Christmas pudding that was to die for." Brian spoke on my behalf.

"It's true. She put all the other PTA mom's to shame when it came to my school's bake sales." Freddie said as he took a bite of his lasagna.

The entire dinner was filled with talks about our lives, stories and embarrassing moments in life. Not a single person was excluded from a conversation. After dinner, Rami and Gwilym helped Freddie with the dishes while I got some other scrapbooks out and bonded a bit with Ben and Joe about my time with Rog and Deacy.

"Now this Joe was taken during my first Japan tour. At the very garden where Queen went to near the Tokyo tower, Deacy refused to let me leave without having a cherry blossom crown."

"He seems to be doing good in the picture."

"Except one twig got so tangled in my hair it literally took 15 minutes just to get it out." We both laughed before I turned the page and found a great picture of me and Roger. "Now this picture Ben, both Roger and I have this picture, this was taken after my first Hyde Park performance."

"She performed to an audience of half of what Queen did when we performed at Hyde Park." Roger spoke.

"She could've performed for more but times changed and better security measure for the public's safety prevented it from happening again." Brian added.

"One thing's for sure, I was damn well proud of her for performing at her biggest crowd at the time just barely two years into her career." Roger spoke again. I looked up and winked at him.

"You guys really do have that father-daughter bond don't you?" Joe said.

"Have ever since she gave me the real 1 and 3/7th's sugar."

"It wasn't until Brian told me the next day that Roger just says that to pull people's leg. God I felt embarrassed after that."

"Aww lovie, but it was due to that I became your favorite. And I don't regret it as I'm sure you don't."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." As Gwilym, Rami and Freddie came back in I continued going through the scrapbook sharing my photos of my days with Queen with the boys, and allowing Freddie to finally hear all the stories that he was denied cause of my grief.

As the night got darker and darker, the young actors at this moment were so full of food and exhausted from a long day's filming they actually passed out along my living room. Joe and Ben cuddled up on the couch, Rami asleep on the recliner, while Gwilym was curled up along the loveseat.

Meanwhile I was watching over them and couldn't help but think it was like seeing my boys all over again. I remember back when I was still an intern and would see the guys all passed out whether at Freddie's parties or in the studio, I always had to provide the guys comfort (which I never minded). So seeing these four young men passed out just brought me a sense of nostalgia.

"I got the spare blankets mom."

"Thank you dear. Your uncles tucked in the spare bedrooms?"

"Uncle Brian's in the room across yours and dad's and uncle Roger is in Georgie's old room."

"Good boy." I then proceeded to cover up and adjust the young actors. I wrapped both Joe and Ben in the same blanket and closed Joe's mouth gently so that he wouldn't drool in his sleep, followed by giving them each a soft kiss goodnight. Without trying to wake him up, I uncurled Gwilym from his pretzel position and covered him up.

I gingerly stroked through his hair before placing a soft kiss to his temple. He groaned and lifted his head up which allowed me to place a pillow underneath him. He hummed in content as he snuggled into it. I then went over to Rami and adjusted the seat so that he would be more comfortable. Pressing the button on our automatic recliner, his legs slowly rose up before finally stopping in full recliner mode.

I tucked him in while looking down at him. God even without the tache it was like looking at Freddie from when I first met him in person at a concert, long before I became an intern. I gently kissed his cheek before faintly stroking his cheek.

Sitting outside along the deck, Freddie and I were looking up at the stars.

"So you think this movie's gonna be a hit?"

"Critics are always hard to please, no matter if it's music or movies. From what I've read of the script yes there's misinformation but that's why it's called a biopic. There's some truth but it's the touch of Hollywood in order to make the film not a boring documentary. But those four boys, they are just how I remember your uncles being when I not only worked with them, but grew up with them hearing their music."

"I wish I had gotten the chance to meet uncle Freddie." Fred said after a brief moment of silence. I turned to him to see him looking down sadly.

"So do I love. He would've loved you as much as he did your brothers and sister. And he would've been over the moon had he found that I had named you after him." I brought my baby close and he wrapped his arms around me as we both looked up at the moon and the stars together.

The star right by the moon glowed the brightest, the very same star that shined just as bright the night after the tribute concert we did back in '92. I couldn't help as a tear slid down my face and a smile spread across my face.

I knew that it was Freddie's star, telling me that he was watching us and that he was proud.

[your-nerd-is-showing]

To Tame A Wild Heart

Combined fanfic with @mguqiis WC 5.3K 13 pages long! This will be a complete fanfic I have 3 different ones I will be posting here.

Satoru Gojo the college campus hottie, his reputation of him getting around proceeds him. Every girl wants a piece of him and many have gotten a piece already. Then one day you transfer into one of his classes and he sets his eyes on you. He wants you but you’re unobtainable, that drives him crazy making him want you even more. No one ever, ever says no to Satoru Gojo. Every single one of your friends warned you about him but you didn’t listen…. You thought you were special to him and could tame him…. Maybe you can….

Chapter one: Welcome to Freshman Year

It was the third week of school and you were able to finally transfer into Advanced Placement Writing for your major. You made your way into the classroom and went all the way to the top away from everyone. To your classmates and friends you were (F/N) (L/N) but to the internet, you were known as Yoru-Chan famous smut writer of the series When a God Falls. You pulled out your laptop to work on your latest book, instantly getting sucked into your writing the world around you disappeared.

~Takara looked deeply into Fudo's endless ocean blue eyes as he pounded into her. “F-Fudo I m-missed you soooooo muchhhhh!” She moaned out as she slammed down on his cock hard.

“I missed you too my love.” He leaned up to kiss Takara deeply, she wildly attacked his lips as she entangled her fingers in his soft white hair.~

You faintly heard the bell ring, suddenly someone was tapping you on your shoulder bringing you back to reality. You looked up at a young man with white hair and the most beautiful blue eyes you had ever seen…. “No fucking way…. Fudo?” You mumbled to yourself as you got lost looking at him.

The young man just smiled at you. “Hello my name is Satoru Gojo.”

“Oh-oh hello my name is (F/N) (L/N). It’s nice to meet you Gojo.” You replied shyly.

“Please call me Satoru.” He smiled at you again. “So whatchya working on?”

“Oh! Its n-nothing just a story of mine.” You said dismissing the subject.

“I would love to hear about your story.” Gojo said as he leaned in closer to you.

“M-maybe another time….” You said shyly as your cheeks turned red.

“Okay class listen up!” Started the professor. “Today we are picking partners for your projects! By the end of the year I want an entire book written minimum of fifteen chapters!”

The class groaned in annoyance.

You were sitting on the edge of your seat very excited for this.

“Come on guys don’t give me that! This is going to be a fun assignment! Anything goes in your book!”

Your eyes widened in wonder. “A-anything?” You said to yourself.

Gojo looked at you. “Pssssst (Y/N).”

You glanced at him. “What is it Satoru?”

“Will you be my partner?” He flashed you a sexy smile.

You turned bright red. “Uh-uhhhh wh-why do you want to be m-my p-pa-partner?” You stammered.

Gojo took your hands in his. “Because I see how excited you are for this project and I want to be partnered with someone who has a passion like I do for writing.”

You took your coat, hat and glasses off revealing your beautiful body and captivating (E/C) eyes. You had a cute punk look going for you wearing a black skin tight shirt with holes cut in all the right places, cut up jeans with fishnets peeking out of the holes and combat boots.

“Damn little hottie has a body. Now that is something I would like a go at.” Gojo thought to himself as he looked you over his ocean orbs stopping on your big breasts.

“So what do you say?” He looked at you.

You tucked your long (H/C) hair behind your ears. “Uh-uhhh we-well.” Your eyes darted around and noticed a group of girls were coming your way. “What is he super popular or something? I mean he is absolutely gorgeous.” You thought to yourself. “Wait Satoru Gojo I have heard about him! He’s a Sophmore and I heard he gets around with the girls on campus…. What am I about to get myself into?...”

“Y-yes I will be your partner!” You said really loudly drawing attention to yourself.

Gojo smiled at you. “Wonderful!”

You and Gojo looked over at the group of girls, they looked like they wanted to kill you.

“AHEM!” The professor cleared his throat gaining the classes attention again. “As I was saying anything goes in your stories! You’re adults now I want to see you push your limits step out of your comfort zones! Write something gruesome! Write some smut I will allow it!”

Your eyes almost fell out of your head when the professor said that.

“Okay now go pair up and start discussing your books!”

Gojo turned to you. “I can see the wheels turning in your head (Y/N)-chan, what are you thinking about for our book?”

You tapped you chin. “Hmmmm.” You took out a notebook and a pen. “Well what kind of books do you like to read?”

“Oh! I love fantasy, folklore, sci-fi…. Hmmmmm oh!” Gojo motioned you to move closer to him. “My guilty pleasure is the web novel series When A God Falls by Yoru-Chan.”

Your eyes grew wide. “No way….” You mumbled.

Gojo's eyes lit up. “You know the series? Oh my God I am obsessed with Yoru-Chans writing it’s amazing! Plus Fudo reminds me a lot of myself.”

“That’s for sure you certainty have his charming personality and good looks.” You muttered to yourself.

“What was that?” Gojo asked.

“Oh nothing…. So I’m taking a wild guess you want smut in our story?” You said smugly.

He placed his hand on your leg. “I was hoping we could write from personal experience.” He looked at you his ocean blue orbs filled with lust.

You removed his hand from your thigh. “I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am but I don’t jump into some random guys bed that easily Satoru. Are you extremely attractive? Yes you are, but you’re going to have to try harder than that mister.” You stuck out your tongue revealing a piercing.

He raised his eyebrow. “So there is a chance?” He said smugly. “Then challenge accepted! I’m taking you out to dinner tonight!”

“W-wa-wait just a minute.” You said getting very flustered as you fiddled with your hands.

“What you don’t want to be taken out by the hottest guy in school?” He said smugly.

“I mean I do but this is moving all so quickly.”

He smiled at you again. “Baby girl I am Satoru Gojo I do not take things slow.” He placed his hand back on your thigh.

“Well I’m not the type to move fast, I have heard about you reputation Satoru you never get into a relationship with any girl and I am not looking for a random fling.” You said removing his hand yet again.

He grabbed your hand and leaned in close to you. “Like I said (Y/N) challenge accepted.” He winked at you. “Now do you have any other classes today?”

“No this is my last class.”

“Perfect! Do you have any plans this weekend?”

“N-no?” You stammered.

He smiled at you.

“What are you scheming Satoru?”

The bell rang for class to end, Gojo held out his hand for you to take, you did so.

“This weekend my dear you are mine.” He smirked at you. “Let’s go out for lunch then back to my apartment. Sound good to you?”

“O-okay that sounds good.” You packed up your bag, Gojo wrapped his arm around you making you freeze up. Your heart was trying to beat out of your chest.

Gojo took you out to a very nice sushi restaurant for lunch.

“Damnit why of all people Satoru is…. He is the spitting image of Fudo….. Literally the man of my dreams and he’s a player….” You thought to yourself letting out a frustrated sigh.

Gojo tightened his grip around your hand making you look up at him. “What are you thinking up in that beautiful mind of yours?”

You shook your head and laughed. “Boy you are so smooth, it’s laughable how hard you’re trying to get in my pants.” You patted his hand.

“When I set my eyes on someone I like I won’t give up until I make them mine.” He held your hand.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh so very charming. How many girls have you used that line on?” You said sarcastically. “Too bad I see right through you Satoru. Those sweet compliments and a sexy smile might work on every other girl… that just means they’re easy to get into bed. I am a much more complex woman who isn’t as easily swayed just by your good looks.”

He leaned in close to you. “So what do you want?”

“A-a love like Takara and Fudo.” You started.

“Ohhhhh so you do read the series!?” Gojo got all happy.

You blushed. “Y-yes I do read it.” You said shyly.

“Hm? There’s more to it isn’t there?”

A small huff left your lips, though the pink which scattered your delicate cheeks stayed. “There isn’t. You shouldn’t pry in others’ affairs.” You said defensively.

You let out a small sigh, thinking to yourself. “This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m ridiculous!” You had the urge to smack yourself at the nearest wall, but right now wasn’t the best time and place.

“There’s something off with how she suddenly reacted like that…” Gojo thought to himself.

“How about we just go to your apartment?”

“Aren’t you eager ‘Ms. I’m different from other girls!’?”

“Not particularly…” You turned your nose up.

“What?”

“I-It’s not what you think!” You said in a huff.

“What I think? Sweetcheeks, just what do you mean by that? How scandalous of you-“

“No! It’s not like that!” You backed up.

“I mean, why else would you go to a guy’s place?” Gojo moved closer to you.

“I said its not like that!”

“Keep it up and I’ll seriously continue to think you’re some closet pervert.”

“P-Please don’t!” You stammered as your face turned redder by the second.

“Her face is so red, can’t help but tease her.” Gojo thought to himself and chuckled.

---

You stepped into his apartment looking around surprised. “It’s so clean.” You said in amazement.

“I'm kinda offended by that (Y/N),” He replied sounding kind of hurt. “you make it sound like all I do is get it with girls!” He walked over and took your jacket.

“Isn’t that exactly what you do..?” You scoffed mumbling to yourself.

“Huh? Said somethin’?”

“N-Nothing! Nothing at all!”

He turned around and walked closer to you.

You backed up into a wall slightly intimidated by Gojo's God- like features.

He put his arm on the wall and looked deep into your eyes. “Now that we’re alone… Wanna tell me just what about that book got your panties in a twist?”

“W-What do you mean?” You shuddered averting your eyes from his gaze.

“You know exactly what I mean. Why else would you smile when I mentioned it? Or the way you just dismissed it when I asked about it? You’re definitely hiding something, (Y/N).”

“N-No I’m not! I…” You started getting defensive again trying to hide your nervousness.

He tilted your head up to look at him. “Yes you are (Y/N).” He leaned in closer to you. “Look at the way you’re acting right now.”

“Shit… he just looks so much like him. It’s just to hard to resist…” You Thought to yourself.

“Cat got your tongue? Should I help you fix that?”

“Fudo I-!”

“...Did you just call me ‘Fudo’?”

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” You thought to yourself.

“Why on earth did you call me ‘Fudo’? Don’t tell me you’re in love with the main character!?” He smirked at you getting an idea.

“Don’t be so shy love.” He gently grabbed your butt picking you up as he leaned into your neck.

Your skin was getting hotter by the second as Gojo pressed his body against yours. “F-fuck why is he doing this!? This is exactly like the first time Takara and Fudo met!” You thought to yourself your breathing getting heavier as Gojo pressed his soft lips against your neck.

“F-Fudo wh-what are you doing?” You wined out.

Gojo stopped and looked at you with his ocean orbs. “What ever do you mean Takara?” He leaned in close to your lips.

“F-fuck why are you doing this?” You shook your head coming back to your senses. “No Satoru please stop. This isn’t what I want.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? You were really getting into it (Y/N).”

“Getting into what?” You asked looking confused.

“Roleplaying? I’ve never tried it before but roleplaying this book would be a lot of fun and seeing as you look a lot like Takara who is totally hot-“

“Roleplaying? You mean like acting out different characters?”

“Uh yea? What did you think I-“

“I mean I did model Takara after myself….” You mumbled a bit too loud and Gojo heard you.

“Woah wait just a minute! What do you mean you ‘modeled Takara after yourself'?”

“Huh?” You looked at him. “Oh shit…. Ummmm.”

“Okay (Y/N)! Spit it out!” Gojo yelled as he tickle attacked you.

You flailed about. “Noooooo Satoruuuu stoppppp!” You wiggled in his grip as he tickled your sides, you started to laugh. “Hehehe Satoruuuuu!” You continued to flail trying to free yourself, you managed to knock Gojo over landing on top of him.

Gojo locked you in a bear hug. “Ha I caught you! You’re not getting away until you tell me what in the hell you’re talking about.” He came dangerously close to your lips. “Now tell me my dear (Y/N).”

“Uhhhhh.” You studdered becoming a hot mess in Gojo's arms.

Gojo looked deep into your eyes giving you the puppy dog stare pleading with you. “Pleaseeee?” He kissed your cheek.

“Damn you Satoru.” You let out a frustrated sigh. “I….. Am Yoru-Chan.”

His eyes widened in amazement. “No fucking way seriously!? You’re Yoru-Chan!?” He let go of you giving you a dumbfounded look.

“What!? Why is that so hard to believe? Do you want me to show you some of the new book?” You asked taking out your lap top.

“I just never expected the writer of a famous internet smut novel be a cute little punk girl…. And a Freshman in college at that! The way you write about sex and describe it is like how someone with year’s of experience would write…. My closet pervert theory is standing with you!” He laughed teasing you more.

A frustrated sigh left your lips as your cheeks flushed a deep red. “H-hey now! I am not a closet pervert! For your information I am still a virgin!” You yelled as those words spilled out of your mouth you realized what you just blurted.

Gojo looked at you wide eyed. “You're a virgin and you write like that!? Oh my God….” He took you in his arms. “well then why don’t you write from personal experience?”

“Hey cool it Fudo!” You growled pushing Gojo off of you.

He smirked. “You really did model Takara after you, shy but defensive personality. This is going to be fun! Okay I want to take you out to dinner and a club after. I’ll walk you to your dorm so you can get clothes for the weekend.”

“Uhhhhh I don’t know if that’s a good idea my roommate Utahime is not a fan of you at all…. She might get really pissed off.”

Gojo raised an eyebrow. “It’ll be fine! I insist a beautiful girl like you shouldn’t be walking around on your own.” He smiled at you and handed you your coat. “Plus you don’t know how to get back here from your dorm.”

“Okay you got me there.” You admitted as he helped you put your coat on.

Gojo opened the door and a girl was standing there. “Oh! Yuki what are you doing here?”

Yuki looked at you. “Uh Gojo we had a date today?”

“Oh.” Gojo laughed nervously. “Sorry Yuki I need to cancel I have an important project that’s most of my grade in AP Writing and (Y/N) is my partner.”

Yuki laughed. “So why not ditch the nerd and let her write it?” She gestured to you. “Then we can go out! You’ve never cared about school this much before or ever hung around a goth girl. Gojo what’s up with you?”

“Excuse me who are you calling a nerd and giving labels to?” You butted in. “How would you like it if I said you looked like an escort.” You said looking at Yuki who was wearing a skin tight leather dress with a plunging neckline.

“Well I would like to be escorting Gojo out on a date!” She said angrily not even getting what you just called her.

You looked at her dumbfounded. “Well I am sorry Yuki but he is working on a project with me and taking me out tonight. I'm sure you have plenty of other men you can go out with. Why not message one of them?”

“Why I ought to!”

Gojo locked the door behind him and walked away with you. “Oh! Yuki don’t bother messaging me ether, this young lady will be taking up most of my time now. Bye!” He wrapped his arm around you.

“That little whore just thinks she can come in and take my favorite man from me! Oh she has another thing coming!” Yuki stormed off in the other direction.

“I'll be taking up most of your time now? Really Satoru? I heard you never spend more than a week with the same girl.”

“Well maybe I’m trying something new.” He smiled at you. “Now which dorm is yours?”

You pointed to the left. “The freshman dorms are over there.” He took your hand in his walking with you to the dorms.

People were gawking at you as you walked hand in hand with Gojo.

“Tch look at the new arm ornament Gojo has this week.” A girl with blue hair scoffed. “Poor girl will learn soon enough that he is going to leave her just like he does to every other girl. Poor little naïve Freshman doesn’t know what’s coming! Haha!”

“Sa-Satoru I feel like I’m being put on display…. And I don’t like it at all. Everyone is staring at us!” You said becoming flustered.

“Shhhhh it’s okay (Y/N).” He wrapped his arm around you again and kissed the top of your head so everyone could see.

“I don’t know something seems different about him with that girl…. He would never wrap his arm around a girl or kiss their head like that.” Said one of the girls friends. “Pfft imagine someone like her catches the heart of Satoru Gojo its laughable!”

All of the girls laughed.

A beautiful tall blonde approached you and Gojo. “Hey Gojo what’s with the charity case?” She asked pointing at you.

“What the fuck!?” You growled. “Is there some sort of issue with who I am and how I dress!?”

“Calm down (Y/N) you’re beautiful just the way you are.” Gojo smiled at you completely ignoring the girl as he walked past her.

“B-but Satoru both girls who approached to talk to you made fun of how I dress….. Now I’m never one to be insecure about who I am however, the two girls looked like models compared to me…. I’m not the usual type of girl you go out with am I?”

“Hmmmmm now that you mention it no you’re not, but that doesn’t matter to me. Like I said (Y/N) when I girl catches my eye I don’t give up.”

“And what about a girl- Hey!” You yelled as someone pulled you away from Gojo. “Utahime what are you doing?”

“(Y/N) can I talk to you?” Utahime glared at Gojo as he followed. “Alone!” She stormed off with you.

“Wait at least let him in the building!” You pulled away from Utahime to let Gojo in. “I told you she didn’t like you.” You sighed. “I’m in room 345 on the third floor just meet me up there.” You said before Utahime pulled you away again.

--

“What was I doing here again?” You thought to yourself as you stared at your overnight bag trying to ignore Utahime.

“Seriously (Y/N)! You can’t just stay with Satoru Gojo! He’s bad news!” Shouted Utahime bringing you back to reality.

“How many times have you told me that..?” You rolled your eyes as you walked over to your closet to grab clothes. “Hmmmmm now what should I wear?” You asked yourself as you looked through your mostly black wardrobe. Your eyes fell on your beautiful purple corset dress. “That’s perfect for tonight! Hmmmmm now what else? Maybe I should start dressing more like Takara, Satoru would like that….”

“I’ll keep repeating myself if I have to, (Y/N)! Satoru Gojo is not to be trusted if you want your heart broken!” She said trying to convince you not to go. “Please be smart about this and take my advice! Don’t go!”

“We’re going to study.” You said as you packed up a couple of skirts and cute tops to go with them.

“Shut up, you’re sleeping over for the weekend!” She yelled as she took out your sexy night gown and thongs. “Look at yourself (Y/N) you were just saying that Gojo would like it if you dressed like the character of your book!? Wait does he know that you’re Yoru-Chan?”

“I’m going, Utahime. There’s nothing you can do about it.” You finished packing your bag.

“(Y/N)! I’m warning you! He is a player!”

“Yeah, yeah just text me if there’s an emergency, okay?” You patted her shoulder as you turned to leave.

“That’s if you’re not already on your knees for him!” She scoffed. “You better fucking answer.”

“H-Hey! That’s not funny!” You said getting flustered.

“Then don’t go!” Utahime pulled on your arm.

“But mooooom, it’s an assignment that’s most of my grade! I have to go!” You said sarcastically as you opened the door to leave.

“Did you just call me your ‘mom’?— hey! (Y/N)! Come back here!” Yelled Utahime as you snuck out. She followed you out into the hall and saw you walking away with Gojo, his arm wrapped around your waist. “Dumbass.”

—

“So, Yoru-chan.” Gojo started.

“P-Please don’t call me that in public Satoru….” You said shyly as your cheeks flushed pink.

“Hehe, can’t help it. Still need to process someone as beautiful as you wrote such interesting stories.” He pulled you into his arms.

“S-Satoru!” You squeaked as he gently groped your butt.

“Fiiiiiiine, I’ll stop!”

silence….

“Thank you for walking me to my dorm and back.” You smiled at him

“It’s the least I should do for my precious Takara.” Gojo said flashing you a sexy smirk.

“You said you’ll stop the teasing!” You said getting a bit defensive.

“Kinda lied.” He chuckled as he unlocked his door.

You rolled your eyes. “What have I done?” You mumbled.

“Hmmmm you caught the eye of hottest guy on campus, that’s what you’ve done!” He said happily.

“Yeah too bad this gorgeous man is total player!” You said getting upset. “You know just my luck the man of my dreams-“

“Wait I’m the man of your dreams?” He looked at you confused.

“Well Fudo was modeled after the man of my dreams and you’re the real life Fudo sooooooo….. Yeah you kinda are.”

“Well if I were to truly become the man of your dreams….” Gojo held you in his arms. “what would you want me to do? Other than the obvious cutting out every girl I have ever hooked up with.”

“Hmmmmm well lets go out tonight and I will tell you after! Wait are you seriously willing to change for me?” You looked at him astonished.

He sighed. “Well seeing as Takara is the woman of my dreams and I have found my real life Takara, yes I am!” He kissed your cheek.

“You do know it is going to take a lot of proving yourself for me to trust you Satoru.”

He kissed your nose. “Challenge still accepted beautiful! I’m not giving up on you (Y/N)!”

You sighed. “Well I guess I don’t have a choice now do I?” You laughed.

“Oh you’ve had plenty of chances to leave but you haven’t yet, so I think you want this just as much as I do (Y/N).” He leaned in close to your lips.

You started to get warm and very flustered.

“Am I wrong my dear?”

You gave him a kiss on his lips. “Is that enough of an answer for now? I’m still not sure myself….. But I do know I don’t want to leave….. I’m looking forward to this weekend.” You smiled at him.

He smiled back and he took out his phone as he sat on the couch. “And to start I’m deleting all my social media and making a new Facebook that you will have the password to!” Gojo said as he started to delete apps off his phone.

“Woah hold on Satoru are you sure? You’re making it sound like I’m your g-girlfriend…”

“Well don’t you want to be (Y/N)?” He asked as he pulled you into his lap. “Don’t you want to be the girl who tamed Satoru Gojo?”

“I-I mean yes I do…. But like I said you have to do a lot of convincing for me to say yes, you are off to a good start!” You replied as Gojo handed you his phone to set up his new Facebook. “Okay the password is TakaraFudo, annnnnnnd done! What photo do you want to use?”

“I was hoping I could take a photo with you?” He asked smiling at you.

“Um sure! Why don’t we take one all dressed up for our date tonight? I don’t look very photogenic right now.” You laughed.

“You are absolutely beautiful right now!” He replied as he wrapped his arms around you taking a cute photo of the two of you. “See?” He showed you the photo.

You looked at it. “Yes I know I am beautiful, but I want to look even better! Hey can you send me that photo please?”

“Sure what’s your number?”

“It's 080-5555-2567.” You glanced down to see Gojo put you in his phone as ‘My Beautiful Takara'. Your phone buzzed and you looked at the message with the photo ‘I’m putting this as my background on my phone <3 you are so beautiful!’ You smiled at the sweet message and put Gojo in your phone as ‘My Wonderful Fudo'.

“What am I doing….?” You thought to yourself.

“Would you care for a drink (Y/N)?” Gojo asked you.

“Do you have mango sake? That’s my favorite!”

“Uhhhhh, yes I think I do! I’ll be right back with that for us!” He got up and went to the kitchen.

“What am I getting myself into? God he really is so smooth I’ve barely known him a day and I’m already acting like a fangirl! Come on (Y/N) you’re better than this....” You sighed. “But he’s so handsome ugh, I need to get my head checked! Here I am saying I’m not like other girls but yet I agree to sleeping over his apartment for the weekend.”

“Ohhhh Takaraaaaaa! I mean (Y/NNNNN)! Sake is served!” Gojo said happily as he bounced in with the tray of sake.

You laughed. “Why thank you Satoru.” You cheered Gojo and took a shot of the sake. He poured you another shot.

“To us!” Gojo held out his cup.

“T-to us!” You cheered him again and downed the shot.

You and Gojo we’re going shot for shot, Gojo kept making up the dumbest things to toast to but he didn’t care he wanted to get you drunk so you would loosen up. About an hour passed by and you were feeling pretty good.

“F-Fudo.” You hiccuped. “I-I-I think I’m goooooood I’ve had tooooo mu-much to-to drink.” You said slurring your words.

“Hm? How drunk are you?” He asked leaning in close to you as Gojo wrapped you in his arms.

You let out a small nervous hiccup. “Drunkkkkk enough to doooooo this!” You wrapped your arms around Gojo's neck as you straddled him and kissed him passionately.

Gojo pulled you in closer deepening the kiss as he slipped his hand under your shirt.

You broke the kiss. “H-heyyy wh-what do you think you’re doing Fudo I-I mean Satoru?” You swatted his hand away “Behave! Just because I kissed you it doesn’t mean I’m giving in that easily….” You blushed. “I-I just really wanted to kiss you….”

He smiled at you. “Okay, okay I’ll behave…. For you.” He looked at you like he wanted another kiss.

You chuckled. “What do you wanna kiss me again-“

Gojo cut you off planting another kiss on your lips. He gently nibbled on your lower lip making you moan allowing entry. Instantly he invaded your mouth dancing with your tongue. He gently groped your butt making you moan again.

“Well she certainly is a horny drunk…. I wonder how far she will let me go?” Gojo thought to himself as he slipped is hand into your shirt again swiftly unhooking your bra, this time you didn’t stop him.

You broke the kiss. “Sa-Satoru you said you would behave!” You said giving him a disgruntled look.

“Heh, I lied.” He smirked at you. “Come on baby girl I can see how badly you want to give into your desires….. I see it in your eyes…. You’ve been fighting it all day....” He leaned into your neck gently kissing it. “You want me so badly right now.” He whispered teasing you.

“Sa-to-ru.” You wined out. “Yes I do want you!” You blurted out. “Fuck!” You held your hands over your mouth.

Gojo got all excited kissing you as he attempted to take off your shirt but you stopped him. “Wa-wait just a minute Satoru! I’m not done…. Yes I do want you, however I am not quite ready to give myself up that easily. So BEHAVE! Please?”

“But whyyyyyy?” He asked pleading with you.

“Have you forgotten I am a virgin? This is a big deal for me….. I always thought I would be giving it up to someone I was in love with, someone who I had been dating for a long time…. Never have I ever thought that I would be contemplating hooking up with a guy I just met…. God I really am easy!” You said getting frustrated.

“I don’t think your easy.” Gojo kissed your lips. “Not to sound bad…. Well this is gonna sound bad however I say it so I’m just gonna say it. The fastest I ever got with a girl was five minutes after I met her….”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah your right that sounded horrible…. Man-whore.” You said teasing him.

“H-hey now…. No you’re right…. Anyways what I am trying to say is most girls I meet give themselves up within a few hours of meeting me… I’ve been with you almost the entire day and you’ve stopped every advance I have made on you, which is fine I’m enjoying this immensely. I have noticed you’re letting me push your boundaries further every time I make a move on you.”

“Y-yes I am letting you push my boundaries I’m starting to become comfortable with you…. I’m starting to trust you.”

“I feel special.” He smiled and tenderly kissed your lips. “I” He kissed you again. “Can't” and another kiss. “stop” and another. “kissing” yet another kiss. “you.” He kissed your lips five more times. “I just want to spend the whole night kissing and holding you.”

You snuggled into Gojo and looked at your phone. “Uh Satoru it’s almost 8 o'clock. Don’t we have dinner and a club to go out to?”

“Oh shit we do! I lost track of time looking at your beautiful face. Let’s go get ready! I hope you brought a dress because we are going out to a fancy restaurant.”

@sassyeahhhh @mguqiis @milktaro-inc

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 32

Chapter 32: If You Don’t Know

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6  🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28 🡪chapter 29 🡪chapter 30 🡪chapter 31

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

Tonight we're fading fast I just wanna make this last If I could say the things I want to say, I'd find a way to make you stay I'd never let you get away Get you in all the games we play

So go ahead, rip my heart out, Show me what love's all about Go ahead, rip my heart out That's what love's all about

I want you to want me this way, And I need you to need me to stay If you say that you don't feel a thing If you don't know, let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go If you don't know then just let me go

Let's forget the past I swear we'll make this last 'Cause I remember the taste of your skin tonight And the way that you looked, you had those eyes I remember the way I felt inside And the name of the songs that made you cry You would scream, we would fight, you would call me crazy I would laugh, you were mad but you'd always kiss me And the shirt that I had that you always borrowed When I woke, it was gone There was no tomorrow

click here to be on the update list

(check the characters page, i updated it with all the characters!)

NIALL

                                                  It was extremely hurtful to push her away. In fact, it was horrible, even worse than when I did it in the first few weeks after we met, mostly because now, I loved her, and I knew she loved me too. When she told Abby off, I was a bit surprised. I knew they wouldn't be friends but I didn't think Devon would actually have the guts to say these things in front of everyone but if I had to be honest with myself, I liked it. I did it to her ex boyfriend, she did it to my ex girlfriend... To me, it just showed that we cared about each other and didn't want to other to get hurt again. I also felt like it proved the feelings we had for each other because I could pretend the opposite, but there was also a tiny bit of jealousy in the way we told each other's exes off.

I knew Abby and although I didn't like the way she was acting with me, I was also aware that pushing her away would only make her try harder. She was exactly like a boomerang and even if I had no intention to give in to any of her propositions, not answering was still my best bet. I wanted to tell Devon about it but I didn't have a second alone with her and whenever I tried to talk to her, Abby would interrupt me to get my attention back.

The conversation we had alone in the dark street was rough on my heart and it kept playing over and over again in my head for the rest of the evening. I was lost in my thoughts and even felt bad for Louis when I realized Abby was trying to get his attention. She never really knew what she wanted and to me, it only proved she wanted nothing except feeling special. Perhaps, the way I loved her didn't make her feel special enough but at that point in my life, I didn't give a fuck.

I wanted to talk to Lewis but he was busy pushing Daxia between him and the wall for the rest of the night and when I was about to leave, Abby ran back to me to have an long chat about what she was doing, what she planned on doing, and how we should spend time together again. I also had to walk back to campus, too drunk to take my car, and when I got back in my room, I tried to be quiet but I quickly realized that Devon was not asleep for the simple fact that she was not snoring. She pretended to be asleep though and I decided it meant she didn't want to talk. Anyway, we were both way too fucked to have a discussion. Still, I couldn't help but stand near her for a few minutes, just watching her, as creepy as it sounded. She was obsessing me in a way I didn't understand. I had obsessed over Abby for months, yet it never felt the way it felt with Devon, and I had no idea why.

I woke up early the next morning to go get my car and when I stopped near her bed, she was snoring low. My lips curled sadly on the left when I realized she was wearing my shirt and I took off the hoodie I was wearing to lay it down on my bed, in hope that she'd see it and wear it.

I told her I wasn't going to have sex with her anymore but it was not because I didn't want to. With Abby coming back, it made me realize that perhaps, I was ready for more with Devon, and yelling to her that I loved her had an effect I didn't expect. I could see in her face that she was actually surprised, as if she didn't really think I had these feelings for her. To me it was obvious but perhaps I was not as transparent as I thought.

I spent the morning working on a new song and had to kick myself mentally to make sure I'd go to my classes in the afternoon. I had so many feelings stuck inside me that it was hard to focus on anything else, especially anything school related.

It was only near the end of the afternoon that I saw her and my heart twisted in my chest. It was crazy how much I missed her. After spending so many days together, 24/7, being away from her for almost a whole day seemed impossible but it was still happening. She was laughing with Louis but there was sadness in her eyes and they met mine, her smile fell and her lips parted. She brought her shoulders closer to her face and sent me an embarrassed smile. That's when I realized she was wearing my hoodie and it made me smile.

I didn't know why I expected Devon to be the kind of girl who would scream her feelings. Of course, she had never told me she loved me with words, but just seeing her wearing my clothes even if we were mad at each other told me she had feelings for me. Everyone has their own way to express their feelings. Of course, it's easier when it's clearly said, but words are still just words. Actions speak louder, even if they're made obliviously. She had always been secretive, almost hiding who she was and how she felt. I even wrote a damn song about it, so why was it so surprising that she couldn't tell me that she loved me? And was it selfish to want it anyway? To need it?

Louis made a quick head movement and Devon started nibbling on her bottom lip as I stood there motionless like an idiot. I was thinking I could just grab some food and go back to the music room to write some more or at least, to play something. I knew I could just go back to my room with my guitar but I couldn't seem to clear my mind when I was there, and I knew it would be worse if Devon was there and at the same time, I was desperate to spend time with her or at least, around her. She just moved her hand up as a 'hello' and I did the same. How could you feel so close to someone and at the same time, so far?

I finally sighed and walked back to my room a bit reluctantly. I worked on a school project for about an hour and finally gave up since I was not able to focus at all. I decided to take a shower before to play guitar and a few minutes after I got out, the door opened and Devon appeared. Her lips parted, she held her breath and she quickly closed her eyes, making me chuckle.

"Oh god, I'm sorry!" she let out, shutting her eyes tighter as I grabbed a towel to wrap it around my waist.

"No worries, Devie. You can open your eyes." I said, amused. "Nothing you haven't seen before."

She licked her lips and after a few seconds, her eyes fluttered open only to meet mine. She smiled shyly and I noticed some dark paint on her face. It made me realized she painted a lot with dark blue and greys these days and I was not sure it was a good thing.

"Your turn." I just told, walking past her to give her some privacy.

"You can stay!" she quickly proposed. "Nothing you haven't seen before."

I turned around and she looked nervous, nibbling again on her bottom lip. She grabbed the bottom of my hoodie that she was wearing and when she took it off, my heart skipped a beat as I realized she was wearing nothing under it. I knew it took her a lot to expose herself to me like that, and I was torn between giving her what she was clearly asking, or holding on to what I had told her not even 24 hours before. My eyes roamed on her face and down to her chest despite myself. I wanted to touch her so bad it was driving me a bit insane. I thought about sliding hands on her breasts to feel her hard nipples on my palms but just cleared my throat and blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the images in my head.

I took a step closer and her lips parted. It felt like I didn't have control on my legs anymore and I stopped in front of her, looking down in her eyes. I brought my hand up slowly to push a lock of her hair behind her ear and she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"I... think I'll just go get dressed."

It was so pathetic. I was there in only a towel and she was standing in front of me, shirtless and literally begging me with her eyes to fuck her, but I was about to leave anyway. The less I was thinking with my head, the more I wondered why the fuck I had decided to stop having sex with her, and I knew that the longer I stayed, the harder it would be to leave. I took a step back but suddenly, she grabbed the towel around my waist and I held my breath.

"Niall!" she almost yelled before swallowing hard. "Please."

I could feel the back of her fingers against my skin as she held me by the towel. They were so close to my dick it actually made my heartbeats accelerate.

"Devie, I can't."

"Niall I fucking miss you."

I put my hand over hers, pulling it away frim me but still squeezed her fingers, my eyes never leaving hers. "I'm sorry."

It took everything in me to just turn around and leave and when I closed the door behind myself, I leaned against it and closed my eyes. My head made a light thud when it fell against the wood and I let out a few curse words under my breath.

My heart dropped in my chest when I heard her sob on the other side of the door but quickly, she started the shower and I couldn't hear anything else.

How could I tell her that if she didn't love me, I couldn't keep having sex with her because it hurt too much? How could I explain to her that I loved her so much that it made me want die thinking I'd never have a chance with her? I stayed against the door for so long what actually took me out of my thoughts was when she stopped the shower. I forced myself to walk to my bed after breathing in deeply and quickly put a pair of sweatpants on and a t-shirt. I sat in my bed just as she got out of the bathroom and I noticed she was wearing my shirt again.

"That's my hoodie." I just said blatantly, running my fingers on the strings of my guitar.

I was sitting with my back against the wall, if only to face her and be able to see her better.

"Oh yea, sorry, let me just grab a new shirt and I'll go get changed."

I frowned a bit, wondering why she'd suddenly feel the need to hide in the bathroom to change but I just licked my lips. "No it's cool you keep it." I sent her a small smile. "Looks better on you anyway."

She pressed her lips together and nodded slowly before sitting on her bed. "Thank you."

I noticed her tired eyes and how sad she seemed to be and remembered the sob I heard through the door. I didn't want to make her sad. In fact, I wanted to make her happy every single day, I just didn't know how without hurting myself in the process, and I didn't want this to be a rerun of the past relationship I had. Abby had fucked me up but at least, now, I knew what I didn't want in a relationship.

I stared at her for a few minutes in silence and she finally leaned against the wall as we faced each other. I wanted to apologize for not touching her earlier but I knew it wouldn't change anything. I could also read on her face that she had so many questions and I was not sure I had the answers. My fingers ran again in the strings as I started a song. I noticed her eyes falling on my hands and I couldn't remember the last time I felt so nervous to sing in front of someone. I was sort of used to it in my classes and I was never the shy type, but she meant so much to me and I wanted her to enjoy everything I wrote, especially if it was about her.

"Someday, it could be more than we intended And we'll be happy that we waited When it's all been said and done Oooh, and you have changed me And we both got what we wanted And looking back it's complicated But we would've happened all along

So keep this open There won't be any more hearts that are broken Hold on, hold on

Don't leave me wastin' all alone Wondering where the time has gone I know it's hard to keep keeping on Don't leave me wasted

Don't leave me wastin' by myself Let's leave emotions on the shelf I swear there ain't nobody else Don't leave me wasted Don't leave me wasted"

I stopped playing and Devon sent me a sad smile, wrapping her arms around her knees and leaning her chin on the top of them.

"It's beautiful." she expressed very low, licking her lips. "Gave me goosebumps."

I wanted her close. I wanted to ask her to come on my bed with me and take her in my arms. I wanted to press her body so hard against mine that I could imagine us melt into each other. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and hear her say it back. Instead, I smiled slightly at her back.

"Thank you." I whispered and let out a sigh. "You know, I didn't want to hurt you."

"No, it's okay, I'm okay." she quickly replied even if we both knew it was a lie. "I mean, you don't have to want me, or have sex with me. I'm sorry I just got half-naked in front of you, it was wrong of me."

I stared at her a few seconds and  put my guitar away to lean my wrists on my knees. "I was talking about last night."

Her traits softened and her lips parted. She shrugged a shoulder and glanced away before looking back at me. "You didn't hurt me. I was just pissed, in both senses. You can flirt with Abby all you want, you're right, it's none of my business."

"That's not what I said last night and you know it, Devie." I pointed out calmly,

Her face changed and she seemed to tear up and I tried to push away the urge I had to go sit next to her and take her in my arms.

"I know."

---

Two weeks and a half. That's how long it had been since I had felt Devon's lips against mine. Two weeks and a half since I had told her that I loved her. Two weeks without much interaction with her. It felt like the first few weeks she had moved in, when I desperately tried to hate her without success. I was longing for her in a way I hadn't longed for anyone in a while, if ever, but I resisted.

It was the weekend and all I wanted was to get wasted. We all ended up in a bar but after too many beers, I didn't even feel creepy to stare at her as she danced. It reminded me of that time she danced in my living room wearing only my sweatshirt and panties, right before we danced together on a slow song. Why did it feel like years ago? Why couldn't I just go to her and tell her that it was alright, that we would just keep on having sex and that I'd push all the love I have for her away if I could feel myself inside her again? I scoffed at that thought and shook my head. Why? Because it was impossible for me to ignore these feelings. They were monopolizing my whole heart and mind and there was nothing I could do about it.

I heard a loud laughter near me and I recognized Abby immediately. I had no idea who invited her but I couldn't say I was happy she was here. I got out of my thoughts when someone put an other beer in front of me and Louis finally sat down next to me before glancing a Devon and then back at me again.

"She's a stubborn girl." he let out, turning on his stool to face me. "Trust me, I tried."

"I'm just meant to fall for girls who don't want me. I'm cursed." I explained before swallowing half the beer he had just given me.

"You know she loves you." Louis sighed. "She's just scared, especially of Abby and the feelings you could still have for her."

"I don't give a fuck about Abby."

"I know, but Dev.. she's heard it before, you know? She doesn't want to go through it again. She's trying to spare her heart."

"I should have done that too." I realized, shaking my head as I still stared at her. "Should have tried hating her harder."

"Yea, that wouldn't have worked."

"Fuck, look at her."

I hated what I was seeing in front of me. Devon was with Mandy's brother and she was genuinely laughing at something he said. I could tell in the way he was looking at her that he was interested and suddenly, anger invaded my whole body and I got up quickly, my chair scratching on the floor and making a horrible sound.

"I'm gonna kill him."

Louis jumped up too, grabbing my arm and turning me around to face him. He forced me to move and it was hard for me to fight him since I was already pissed. He tapped my cheek as my back was now facing them and I groaned, moving my head away from his hand.

"Niall, calm the fuck down." Louis let out a bit too loud. "That's not how you're gonna convince her to date you!"

I was about to answer something when I felt someone grab my arm and suddenly tensed. I turned only to see Abby who was sending me a smile and I just shook my head a bit, suddenly extremely annoyed.

"No! Not you and not now!" I yelled, taking a step back.

My ex girlfriend's smile fell and she frowned a bit. I could read in her face that I had hurt her a bit but I was way too hurt myself to care at all.

"Thanks for your advices Louis, but I don't need 'em!"

I turned around and noticed Devon and Noah were already looking at me. Perhaps I had talked louder than I thought and my eyes moved from one to the other before I sighed.

"Fuck that."

I could threaten Noah all I wanted or tell him to fuck off, I knew it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't make Devon fall in love with me or want to date me and that's all I really wanted. Anything that wouldn't bring me to this goal was counterproductive to me.

I turned around quickly and walked to the toilets, pushing on the door and leaning my hands on the counter, my eyes closed. I was going insane and I knew it felt worse because I was drunk but I couldn't help it and felt my eyes water. Perhaps, getting hammered was a bad idea and I should have known that I always ended up feeling so much when Devon was closed. I heard my phone beep a few times, telling me I had a text message, but I couldn't look at them. I felt my arms started shaking lightly and I swallowed my pain the best I could.

What was there to hope for, now? What could you do when you felt like you tried everything?

[reinerispretty]

I love your writing 🥺 Can you do a Sokka imagine where the reader is a firebender so Sokka doesnt take well to her joining the gaang at first, and they always bicker/ throw sarcastic comments at each other and the gaang is so sick of it! But one day they are forced to be alone together (they go on a mission?) and sparks fly n they kiss or something 😳 they return to camp and the gaang is like... ok why r u guys tolerating eachother and u guys r inseparable and super couply from then on!

hi!! sorry i’m just now getting to this!! i like to put lots of effort into my requests so i wanted it to be the best it could be :D hope you enjoy!!

---

(Y/N) had always been very proud of her firebending. Not everyone in the town she had grown up in were benders, so being able to bend one of the elements was a great honor. Because of her powers, she was on track to join the Fire Nation military. These plans changed of course, as soon as she met the Avatar and his friends. She had helped them escape capture and joined them on their adventures. They were all pretty hesitant about her joining, but eventually Toph vouched for her by saying that she wasn’t lying when she told them all she had ever wanted was to help people. 

(Y/N) had been traveling with their group for a few weeks and was slowly starting to build friendships with the other members of her group. Aang absolutely refused to learn firebending from her, but watched and laughed as she made little dragon puppets out of fire after dinner. She and Toph became fast friends, as they both had a similar wit and nonchalance about life. Katara took a bit to fully warm up to her, but (Y/N) was relentless and eventually they could exchange pleasant conversation as they cooked dinner. Even Appa licked her when she brought him hay, and Momo had started sharing his berries with her. The only person who didn’t like her at all was Sokka. 

“I don’t want a firebender joining us,” He had said pointedly when she first joined the group. He had been outvoted, of course, and now whenever (Y/N) did anything, he had something to say in return. If she arranged the sleeping bags, he complained about their positioning. If she made dinner that night, he complained about the taste. It seemed like he went out of his way to make her feel bad. 

Initially (Y/N) had tried to understand. The Fire Nation had hurt his people, so it was only natural that he was apprehensive toward her. But then his words started to hurt. One day, he had mentioned that she had betrayed her own people, so it would only be a matter of time until she betrayed them, too, and (Y/N) had had enough. She threw her bowl of soup to the ground and stood up. “What’s your problem?” She demanded. 

“My problem is with you,” He spat. “You’re Fire Nation, you can’t be trusted.” 

“Don’t you think that if I had even thought about turning you all in to the Fire Lord, I would have done it already?” 

“I don’t know what goes on in your little spy brain!” 

“I know what goes on in your brain: absolutely nothing!” She let out a frustrated scream and turned on her heel, marching into her tent. The rest of the group stared at Sokka awkwardly. 

“She’s such a piece of work,” He grumbled, sipping on his soup. “Can you believe her?” 

Over the next few weeks, whenever Sokka said an insult toward (Y/N) she’d shoot one right back. If he wanted to be a pain in her side, fine. She’d be one in his, too. 

“You sure your twig arms can handle that firewood?” She asked him as he brought wood for their campfire. 

“Hey, at least I’m doing something. What, are you too busy plotting how to take over the world to help?” 

Their conversations were just insults and sarcastic quips, and eventually the rest of the group started to get sick of it. One night, as they sat at dinner, (Y/N) and Sokka were bickering because they had been forced to sit beside each other. Toph drove a piece of earth between them and flung them in opposite directions. “Would you guys quit it!” The girl shouted. “I only have four out of the five senses and you guys are driving them all crazy!” 

“Sorry, Toph,” (Y/N) apologized, brushing herself off. “You know how he is.” 

“Me?” Sokka exclaimed. “Toph, you know how she is!” 

“You arrogant, good for nothing--” 

“Ow!” Aang shouted, clutching his foot. The group stopped to look at him. “Ow, ow, ow, I think I stepped on something. My foot really hurts!” Katara rushed over to take a look and furrowed her brows. 

“I don’t--” 

“Oh, Sokka,” Aang sighed. “I don’t think I can go on that mission with you tomorrow, my foot just hurts too bad!” He gave Katara a big wink. 

“Oh, of course!” She said, finally getting what Aang was trying to do. “I have to stay here and help Aang heal. I’ll need Toph’s help, too, so (Y/N) is the only one who can go on the mission with you.” 

“I’d rather go alone,” Sokka said, crossing his arms. 

“Please, how are you going to defend yourself if you don’t have a bender with you?” (Y/N) asked with a roll of her eyes. Sokka balled his fists and stormed off to his tent, mumbling angry, incoherent sentences. (Y/N) yawned and retreated back to her tent for the night. 

“I’m not really injured,” Aang said. 

“Really?” Toph deadpanned. “Couldn’t tell.” 

“I just wanted a break from the two of them. They’re always fighting!” 

“Who knows,” Katara said with a smile. “Maybe the trip will bring them closer together.” 

The next morning, (Y/N) and Sokka begrudgingly walked side-by-side to their mission. They were doing a stake out of some Fire Navy ships to see what kind of weapons they were storing on them. They climbed up to a tall hillside, where they could comfortably watch the ships. As long as they were quiet, they wouldn’t bring any attention to themselves. 

Sokka’s plan was to stay there for a full twenty-four hours. Every time (Y/N) thought about being around him that long, she nearly gagged, but she had to swallow it down because she knew this mission would be for the greater good. Hopefully, there would be more watching than talking.

They set up their tents behind some rocks so they would not look suspicious. And then, they sat. And they sat for a long time. (Y/N) was growing increasingly bored, just watching soldiers go in and out of the ships. She sighed, laying back down on the grass. 

“What exactly are we looking for?” 

“Nothing.” She propped herself up on her elbows. 

“Excuse me?” 

“We aren’t looking for anything. Well, not anything specific. I just want to know what kind of weapons they’re using so I can write to the Mechanist to create better ones for us.” 

“So...we’re just going to watch?” 

“Do you not know what a stake out is?” 

“I do! I just didn’t know it was going to be a full day of doing absolutely nothing.” 

“Look, if you don’t want to be here, fine. You can go back to the camp. I can handle myself.” (Y/N) scoffed. 

“I’m not leaving you here alone, Sokka.” 

“Then I suggest you stop complaining.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and reached into her bag. She pulled out two sandwiches and laid them beside her. “What are those?” 

“Food,” She said, sliding a sandwich over to him. He took it suspiciously. “It’s not poisoned, you dummy. I got up early this morning and went to the market so I could make stake out snacks.” 

“Oh, thanks. I guess.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

They sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime. (Y/N) watched the soldiers intently and had even made up backstories for some of them. The smaller soldier was named Lee, and he was a fiesty little fellow, but he was a new recruit. He had good ideas, but no one really wanted to listen to him because he lacked authority. (Y/N) sighed as she watched him talk to his commanders. Poor Lee. 

“I recognize that one,” she said suddenly, pointing at one of the soldiers. “He and I went to training camp together one summer.” 

“Oh, so that’s your friend. Great.” (Y/N) furrowed her brows. 

“I never said he was my friend.” 

“I just assumed, since you were both all ‘Go Fire Nation!’“ He sarcastically pumped a fist into his air. 

“You make a lot of assumptions about me for someone who doesn’t know me.” 

“I know exactly who you are. You’re a spoiled girl from the Fire Nation who wasn’t satisfied with her life and only wanted to join us to run away from your probably mean family. You don’t want to make change, you just wanted an out.” 

“That’s not true at all, Sokka. I grew up poor. Dirt poor. And when I say that I mean it, because the floors of my house were literally dirt. No one asked me if I wanted to join the Fire Nation military, they told me I was going to. I was brought up my whole life surrounded by people who told me how great my nation was. If everyone’s telling you something and you have no reason to believe otherwise, you start to believe it. I know I’m not perfect, but I’m really tired of you thinking that you know who I am.” She pulled her knees into her chest and tucked her chin on top of them. 

Sokka sighed. The sun was setting behind them. “It’s obvious I don’t like the Fire Nation. They’ve caused a lot of pain to me and Katara and to thousands of other people. So when you joined, I guess I just projected that anger onto you.” 

“I understand. But I’m not the entire Fire Nation.” 

“I know, it’s just hard to separate the two sometimes. I can literally see the Fire Nation inside of you. You’re decisive and strong and stubborn--” 

“I’m just going to focus on the first two. You really think those things about me?” 

“I mean, yeah. I’ve seen you talk your way out of fights but also kick some major butt. As much as I hate to say it, you’re pretty cool.” (Y/N) smiled and opened her mouth to respond, but her eyes widened as a giant fireball plummeted toward them. 

“Look out!” She shouted, tackling Sokka out of the way. They both grunted in pain as they hit the ground. 

“How did they even see us?” Sokka asked. He grabbed (Y/N) by the hand and led her up the hill. They abandoned all of their camping stuff (as it was currently on fire) and ran down the backside of the hill, away from the Fire Navy ships. (Y/N) spotted a cave and pulled Sokka inside. They both leaned against the cool rock, breathing heavily. 

“Well, so much for the stake out,” (Y/N) said. Sokka laughed. 

“We’ll have to wait here for the night. The ships are supposed to leave at dawn tomorrow, so we can travel back to camp then.” (Y/N) nodded. The sun had fully set behind them and the cool chill of night was setting in. She shivered. “I can get a fire going,” Sokka said, and began to collect the debris that was scattered around the cave. (Y/N) giggled. 

“Sokka, I got it.” She kicked some leaves and sticks into a pile and kicked a flame on top of them. They sat across from each other with their backs against the cave walls. 

“So, how’d you know you were a firebender?” He asked. (Y/N) shrugged. 

“I think I started coughing fire one day. My family expected it though. My father had been a firebender.” She pursed her lips and stared at the ground. “He was sent to fight in the war. He didn’t end up coming home.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Sokka said quietly. She shrugged. 

“I feel torn about it, you know? Because he fought for hatred and injustice, but I also never got to find out if he supported the war or not. The Fire Nation doesn’t really care if you want to fight. They make you do it anyway.” 

“I always wanted to fight, ever since I was little.” Sokka said. “But now while I’m living my dream, I see how nasty it actually is and understand why my dad didn’t want me to.” 

“Well, you’re a pretty good fighter, so I’m sure he’s proud of you.” Sokka smiled. 

“I’m sure your dad is proud of you, too.” (Y/N) grinned. “Listen, I’m sorry for being so mean to you. I guess I was projecting feelings on to you that I had towards the Fire Nation, and it wasn’t fair. But in my defense, everything you did just made me mad. Like the way you cooked soup, or how pretty your eyes were, or how nice your laugh sounded...” Sokka trailed off, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “I said that all out loud, didn’t I?” 

(Y/N) nodded, trying her best to contain her smile. “Alright,” Sokka said. “You can just kill me now, I guess.” (Y/N) burst into laughter. 

“It’s really okay, Sokka. I’m sorry for being mean to you as well. Everything you did made me mad, like how you constantly teased me, or how cute your ponytail looks, or how funny your jokes were...” 

“You...you really think my jokes are funny?” (Y/N) nodded before sliding to sit at his side. “Can I try something?” (Y/N) nodded again. Their faces were just inches apart and she could tell the fire was dying by the dim glow it left on Sokka’s cheeks. He touched her own cheek with his hand, before pulling her close and slowly connecting their lips. (Y/N) felt her face grow hot, but she still let her eyes close and reveled in the feeling of his kiss. They stayed like that for a while, long after the fire went out. 

When they returned to their friends the next morning, they walked hand in hand. Aang and Katara’s mouths dropped open and Toph stamped her feet on the ground. “There must be something wrong,” She said. “Are they...touching each other?” 

“Hey, guys!” Sokka said, a bright smile on his face. “Aang, how’s the foot doing?” 

“Uh, pretty good,” Aang said, pretending to lift his foot as if it were injured. 

“What’s um...going on here?” Katara asked. 

“Sokka and I had a pretty good stake out,” (Y/N) said. She let her hand slip from his. “I’m gonna get started on lunch.” 

“Alrighty,” Sokka said before planting a kiss on her cheek. He sighed happily as he watched her walk away. “Aang, I really have to thank you for pretending to hurt your foot.” 

---

Permatag List!

@musicalkeys , @aroyaldarknessblr

[thejudgingtrash]

would you class percy as a morally grey character? i’m really interested to hear your input

Anon 2: Would u class percy as an Morally Gray character?

Hey there! Let me write that essay for you about morally gray Percy ^^

It’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s about he has to be otherwise the story doesn’t make any sense. At least for me it wouldn’t.

Ashley (@gr33kg0ds) said in the tags of my dark!Percy post something along the line of people diminishing Percy’s character because they need him to be pure and fluffy and I wholeheartedly agree with that!

Just because Percy’s twelve doesn’t mean he’s pure and didn’t do unproblematic things. I’ll mostly refer to The Lightning Thief because that book is the Magnus Opus for Riordan and perfectly stands for Percy as a morally gray character from the very beginning of the saga. (Also the only book I’ve recently re-read)

As much as I love fanon with all the amazing artworks, debates, memes and jokes, analysis, cool edits and wonderful fanfics, projecting your version of Percy doesn’t make the image in your head real. Percy in canon is not the fun and fluffy boy you imagine him to be or which social media sites (Reddit, Twitter, Instagram and yes, also Tumblr) tend to make him to be. He’s a scrawny little sarcastic twerp that was the unpopular kid. He isn’t that cringy dude Tony Lopez doing that fucking weird TikTok dance (side note: I don’t even know who this person is and I don't care, I saw the video and immediately wanted to delete every social media app on my phone, so thanks Tony?), kissing his Yeezys goodnight, vibing to our lord and gay icon Taylord “T. Swizzle” Swift song and flexing them iPhone 11 Max Pros. Percy literally said that going to Burger King with his mother once in a while would be considered a luxury. He’s a poor bastard in literal sense.

Part of the problem with the distinction of Percy’s character and his motives stem from the fact that Percy is a sneaky unreliable narrator and we as the audience (especially if you’re younger) don’t question most of his behavior if you even question some (pretty sure that most of us only picked up weird stuff as adults). Everything seems plausible to you. But does it mean that his behavior is necessarily good? Something that would paint his character as good?

Like I’ve said, let’s take a look at TLT. The very beginning of everything and the wonderful line that gets quoted everywhere: “Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood”. 

The very first line that quoted everywhere or used as in moodboard and edits but its meaning and significance get brushed off for the most part. It immediately sets the tone and the atmosphere for the book and for Percy as a character. A(n in my opinion) morally gray character. The very first thing we hear from Percy is that he doesn’t want to be in this world. He’s an involuntary participant who has been (upon further reading) blackmailed and forced into this world and is only cooperating to get his mother back and said in regards to his father (who also stands for the Greek pantheon) ”well yeah, would be nice to know about my dad but I’ve survived without him the past twelve years so I don’t know, he wouldn’t be missed necessarily I guess?“ That pretty much tells you, it foreshadows, that we will be dealing with someone with grit, someone that fights back, someone that went through shit, someone that isn’t a goody two-shoed character. Does it mean he’s a terrible (in the sense of evil or bad) character from the get go? Not really, but it tells you in nuances that he won’t be the white shining knight you might expect from a fairy tale.

There is so much that little Perseus Jackson has to offer you directly in the first book. So much that paints him as a morally gray character. From the illegal candy stash all the way to tricking Procrustes into his own trap. He knows right from wrong and isn’t innocent by any means. He wants you to think he’s innocent. Yes, he hunts monsters and the book also tells you that some adults (Gabe) can also be monsters, but Percy’s personality is so interesting and full of facets which I love! He’s misleading you on purpose. Deflects, plays events down. He lies in front of you to others but you don’t really doubt it. Instead of questioning it, you understand it.

What distinguishes Percy from other male protagonists in that notion that the author doesn’t try to paint him as particularly good (the reader connects the dots, in reality) is pretty much that. Percy is neither inherently good or bad. He’s in the middle. He does lots of questionable things and his personality adds to it. Something that immediately comes to my mind is his lack of fear of consequences. He thinks in the short term and not in the long term. Of course, he’s caring about those that are close and important to him (Grover, Annabeth and his mother of course. And well. The world not getting destroyed by his weird father and fucking crazy uncle would be a plus). But Percy isn’t really a strategist (yet). Look at the Medusa head thingy. Annabeth and Grover warn him, that he’s gonna get his ass beat and he doesn’t care. That these gods could squish him in the end didn’t matter to him.

The Olympian gods are painted as these unpenetrable huge mighty force and some fuzzy annoyed twelve year old dipshit sends them the severed head of a monster - but not any monster, the monster his father had a role in creating (well, Athena for the most part, but you know what I mean). (Also, I know this kinda reckless behavior gets sorta rewarded but at first, everyone was like ‘NO, NO, NO!’ before Percy was glorious with his attempt). Percy essentially tells these ancient forces that drive the way of his new cosmos how shit‘s gonna work from now on.

Percy isn’t fear riddled and doesn’t think about the possible outcome. He manipulates, he lies, he persuades and all of this as soon as he hits twelve. But probably earlier. Pretty sure he had to become a believable lier in order to trick (survive being around) Gabe. Perseus is angry, he’s agitated. Had Riordan written Percy as a soft spoken, frightened, goody two-shoed kid, almost nothing in TLT and the follow-ups would have made sense. He’s the outcast, but slowly blossoms into the strength and muscles of the group. Of the entire camp. Someone that outsmarts opponents and wins battles. But he didn’t do that by playing nice and being a bootlicker.

TLT would’ve been a perfect standalone book that would have emphasized that Percy is an involuntary person sive) if you skip Kronos, leave a little bit foreshadowing with the prophecy out, tweak the talks with the gods and Annabeth’s first meeting and skip Luke and the scorpion at the end. The ending would’ve been “and so Percy had a first awesome summer vacation and found a group of friends for life” or so (aka PJO movie 1 in less shitty and more cohesive).

The morally gray character shrinks a little bit in the SOM because there lie straighter dangers ahead which dive more into the bigger picture and Percy grows more into the character who takes care of friends and but he does come back with TTC, and definitely BOTL and the St. Helens explosion.

Consequences of Percy’s interactions had people partially dying. There is doubt, there is guilt. But the show must go on. There are battles that have to be won. There is no big giving up, no big overturn for the bad guys.

Also... isn’t it interesting that we start with Percy saying ”look, I don’t want to be in this world“ in TLT and it ends with TLO where he says ”for once I didn’t look back“? The full circle? The way that accepting his fate took five books? To change Percy from being an involuntary participant to becoming voluntary? He didn’t want to be a half-blood, he didn’t want to be the kid in the prophecy, but he actively chose to be in the end. He went from a darker shade of gray to a mayhaps lighter, if you want to say so.

To conclude, I repeat myself again: it’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s that he has to be.

Thanks for asking me about some meta stuff I really do like diving into these things here and there. Tumblr’s sorta glitchy, I do get notifications but I really don’t see asks, so I’m sorry if my response is mad late ^^

[voidcat]

– “Friend” is a four letter word

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / gn! reader

requested by anon, prompt 1

wc & genre: 2k - mostly fluff, a bit angst by the end

a/n: the title is literally a 1 trait danger song title, pls dont come @ me, i just thought it was nice to use bc “love” is a four letter word so yea,, also pls dont ship ppl irl or ask them too many Qs abt their relationshio even if they look so good together n should date bc it is rlly rlly annoying (speaking from experience)

The first you meet Kuroo Tetsurou, you don’t even notice.

It’s not surprising, he’s quiet and doesn’t gather attention. You don’t go looking around and keeping an eye on everyone either. The most is you’re just two fish in the vast sea, unaware of one another, too tangled with your own lives.

Then comes a moment, nothing special, almost out-of-a-movie type. It begins with a joke, if it can be considered that. It’s bad, awfully bad, a horrible pun in the middle of chemistry and from the volume of the voice you can tell they hoped no one would hear. But you do, so does few who sit next to him and your giggles dance around in the air. You don’t notice it’s him at that time but you grow to recognize his jokes in the following time.

Kuroo Tetsurou feels like a mystery when your eyes lie on him one afternoon. He’s not bad looking, a part of a sports team, a key member even. And yet compared to all the other jocks he doesn’t bask in the attention, in fact, he doesn’t receive any. Others like to brag and talk smug, as if they’ve discovered life in an inhabitable area and then there’s him. You can’t even tell he plays in the team if it’s not for the uniform and tracksuit he’s in after classes.

You think to yourself, if only jocks were like him. Still, you take no step and neither does he.

Maybe neither of you need to because the universe is more than happy to provide the nudge you both seem to need.

Funny enough it’s a science project that starts it.

He’s too quiet to your liking, speaking only when absolutely necessary. As you desperately try to kill the silence that hangs in the air, he avoids it as hard, making so little sound.

An idea comes as fast the lights are on and you speak before you even get to think ‘what’s there to lose?’

“No science puns for me? What happened, cat got your tongue?”

To say he is baffled, is the understatement of the year. You’re not sure if he’s surprised you’ve heard him joke or want to hear more of them; but either way, he looks cute, with his guard down, at a loss of reaction, mouth slightly open and – is that a hint of blush on his cheeks?

It only goes upwards from then on.

Awkward conversations is how it begins, seeking each other out in close environments is where you’re leaded.

You find yourself enjoying the way he talks, listening to what he has to say, the way his face brightens up when he starts talking out of pure interest. You only hope he feels the same way about you, and from the way he often discreetly directs you to take the lead and pick the topic, he does.

In a short span of time, you two are attached from the hip. Inseparable, always doing something, going somewhere, discussing a thing or just laughing. Shy smiles replaced with a Cheshire-like grin, almost ironic considering your school’s name, that’s only a new expression on him that you like to see.

It feels freeing, natural; as the sea sighs, the rain drops hit the surface and the sun shines. Two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, inseparable…

This goes beyond high school and throughout university too, which you’re grateful for. Because times come when you wonder where would you be without him, what would you do without his support; so you thank the stars once again, for having him in your life even today.

Then comes the times you wish you didn’t spend as much time together because the people around are being insufferable. All you want is to hang out with your best friend but half that time is stolen away by the never changing questions. Those who keep asking if you’re together, as an item. As if it doesn’t rub the salt in the already existing wound, it sure makes things unbearable. Getting approached by people you never saw before is no fun, neither is dealing with those who have the audacity to think you owe an explanation about your love life.

“But why? The two of you spend all the time together! Sure you must be in love!”

As if platonic relationships do not exist, surely do you have to love someone in that way to care for them? Loving Tetsu is a case that matters to only you, you’re happy knowing he cares for you, maybe not in the way as you but at the end of the day, the bond is there in plain sight, on your sleeve.

“But you guys would look so good together! Have you given dating a try? I’m sure it’d work out! I understand if you want to keep things a secret but come on, you must have had something going on-“

Stop, stop, stop…

It gets exhausting after a while, showing its signs on you, the irritation high and your nerves are at the edge, he notices it not long after.

After a little persuasion, you spill it all out, ranting about the pent up anger you had bottled all week –month maybe. You don’t notice the way his shoulders slump as you talk and go on about the stupidity of the people. It misses your attention how he talks less than usual that day, even after the mini ranting session. You do, however, notice how he starts to act strange around you. More preserved, and not as chatty as much. Holding his touch and avoiding contact, not going out of his way to approach you any longer. This drives you crazy, hurts a part of you and you worry –what if he has grown bored of me? Did I do something to hurt his feelings? Does he like someone and avoids me to get in their eye? What has happened, what did I do wrong? And goes and goes and goes the worries and the dynamics shift in your friendship.

So with the change of dynamics, you try desperately to hold onto what you once shared. Soon enough it’s you who invites the other to outings.

When your coffee offers are denied, you bring up walks, after that study dates, as he tries to ignore one attempt of alone time, you come up with another and one evening you find yourself asking to go to a party.

Campus parties with him, are interesting, to say the least. It stings when you’re separated, a punch to the stomach when he’s awfully close to those who were flirting with him, a new kind of torture when he keeps his talks with you short at the scene but at the end of the day you always leave, together, and you settle with this too, as you settled with all his love you could get years ago.

Some nights with booze apparent in the air, you don’t bug him with questions but each party gets worse somehow, only makes the distance between the two harder.

One night you snap and let it all out, unlike that afternoon it wasn’t an asked question but an aftereffect of him pushing your nerves and once you begin, you don’t stop, letting the storm out and he just looks at you.

You stop and his gaze stays, face devoid of any emotion and you worry, all the words you’ve said dawning on you and with one last attempt you whisper “Aren’t we friends?”

Voice calm and stern, colder than that icy cocktail you had: We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.

Holding back the tears by the corner of your eyes, you blink once and turn your back, steps set on your way. You can’t recall the last time you’ve walked home alone, without him.

Some time passes, days begin to blur and you try not to dwell on things too much or think about him that much. But the brain is a traitor as much as your heart and you find yourself thinking about him too much to your liking. Not sure whether you want him to find you, you keep an eye out; maybe plan to get out of the eye sight when you spot that messy hair but there’s not much need as he’s never around.

At the same time you’re unaware that this is his way of giving you a break, providing the alone time you needed away from him; as Tetsu tries his best to gather his thoughts and shape the sentences to show how he truly feels, what he actually thinks, he keeps an eye out for you. Even the smallest of smiles on you making his racing heart worse but what lands the final blow is how rarely you smile these days. Knowing he is the reason behind, knowing he causes the weight on your shoulders and the ache in his heart, he wishes more than anything to change this as soon as he can but he is at a loss of words and actions and he hates himself for that.

When the two of you are brought together once again, as fate pushes you from behind like it did years ago, you’re not sure who looks up first. But it is Tetsu who speaks first, not giving you a chance to say anything back, call him names or yell him insults. And as he talks, eyes focused on you, locked into yours, his gaze warmer than ever, his voice nothing like that disastrous night.

“I know I fucked up and ruined the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I have nothing to blame but myself, I know, but please. Even though it’s selfish of me to ask this… Would you give me a second chance?”

Letting go of the breath you were holding, you prepare to answer him. He doesn’t let you.

“One last chance… To start over? Because that one sentence, as cold as it sounded, had a truth to it. And I- I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on and pretend like I don’t have- like I don’t have all these feelings in me. I can’t nod along to your rants about how much you hate the people perceiving the two of us as more than friends. ‘Cause you got to admit. They have a point. Maybe at the beginning, yes... But we’ve not been friends, not for a long while. And you know it too whether you want to say it or not.”

As if spoken without breathing once, considering this is Tetsu that was definitely the case ,he gulps and takes a step forward.

“Will you give me a last chance and let me show you how much I can love you? Free of this ‘just friends’ title. Would you let me take you on dates and make you laugh wide and loud? Not just as your friend but as your boyfriend? As your partner in crime and in life, as Persephone is the pastel queen of hell in the realm of Hades, the sun to my Icarus, the Sodium to my Chlorine?..”

His speech was getting to you until the last sentence, your softened body goes stone cold, hands hanging in the air, Tetsu’s last pleads of “would you let me?”s falling deaf to your ears.

The gears turn quick and he realizes exactly which one of his words could leave an effect like this, be so ridiculous and bring you to a halt.

One of those smug smiles you saw on his face often, he says “What happened, cat got your tongue?”

And your mouse hanging open, all you can do is smack him on the arm, as hard as you can, for that awful salt simile and for using your words on you.

Before you know it, both of you are laughing and the air feels warm once again.

tags: @celosiiaa​ @boosyboo9206

[rqnvindr]

jealousy

pairing: daishou suguru x f!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, some suggestive content

word count: 1,601

description: daishou gets jealous on a date, but only because he cares

a.n: this is dedicated to the president of the daishou stans club @girlspirits​ ;3 i couldn’t resist cooking this up when i literally dreamt about it. luv you uwu (also he obviously isn’t dating mika here so he’s all yours)

--

you stood outside of the school gates, waiting expectantly for your boyfriend to meet you for your date. scrolling on your phone and seeing how your friends from other schools in the city had landed their spots at nationals, you sigh thinking about how that could have been him too. he could’ve lived his last year of volleyball to the fullest and taken his team to victory, but here he was, off of season for the rest of the year, and perhaps the rest of his life, unless he went pro. as they always say though, every cloud has a silver lining, and you quickly push away second hand feelings of pity and regret for him upon realizing that he did is best despite not getting the result he wanted. plus, now he no longer has practice and you guys can finally go on all of the dates you put off for months.

a pair of slender, yet strong arms wrapping around your waist suddenly snaps you out of your thoughts. your head shoots up, turning around frantically with wide eyes only to be met with daishou chuckling playfully.

“suguru! you scared me!” you exclaim, nonetheless turning around to bury into his chest as he pulls you in for a hug. 

“that was kind of the point, babe.” daishou teases, though the way you look up at him and pout afterwards immediately softens him up. and when you smack his arm playfully, with just the right amount of pain to teach him a lesson but also light enough to not inflict serious damage, his desire to protect you at all costs grows even stronger.

“ready to go?” daishou takes your hand in his, interlocking your fingers and you nod. the two of you then proceed to take a detour from the usual route home. the trip consisted of you guys asking about each other’s day, how exams went, the typical small talk before falling into silence. not the uneasy type of silence, it was the feeling where the lack of words made everything more comfortable and made your relationship deeper than perceived. just the feeling of being together on a day with perfect weather, basking in each others’ presence was enough. everyone who saw you together said what they wanted, but he was your home and you were proud of it. 

there were also the fair share of girls who tried to steal him from you, thinking that you couldn’t fulfill his desires but they clearly didn’t know the real him, who craved nothing more than intimacy just like any normal person in a relationship. sometimes he had the tendency to live on the edge when it came to other aspects of his life, but not when it came to people, be it friends, lovers, or even rivals. daishou never treated any of his connections lightly, and he was able to bring the best out of those he was closest to. there was a reason why he became team captain after all, and most definitely one that drew you to him in the first place. the security you had could never be replaced. 

you and daishou finally arrived at the convenience store to get the snacks for the movie date at your house. he remembered all of your favorites, placing them in the basket and you couldn’t help but lean over to kiss his cheek as he stood in the aisle thoughtfully, eyes filled with deep concentration in finding what you liked. 

“oh?” he turns to you, raising an eyebrow. “you love me that much, huh?” 

“how much, suguru?” you smirk, which does nothing to ease his cocky look. daishou tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, before leaning down.

“you’ll have to show me later if you’re gonna be like that.” he whispered, sending shivers down your spine. 

“(y/n)-san, is that you?” 

before you could continue your little showdown, you heard another male voice call from behind you. you smiled, amusedly surprised when you saw that it was izumi, one of your closest friends from middle school. 

“izumi, hi! how have you been?” you asked. daishou froze when he saw how casually you had greeted another boy in such a friendly tone in the middle of your date. he felt his heart sink when you guys started to catch up in front of him, as if he wasn’t there, and upon noticing the pink hue on izumi’s cheeks when you commented on how tall he had gotten. 

the fact that izumi completely ignored the obvious fact that you were taken and continued to act so innocent, making you laugh and beam at him like you were supposed to be doing with your boyfriend, burned his insides even more. 

daishou acts before izumi could pull any further moves on you by placing his hand on the small of your back and stepping forward towards the boy, seemingly towering over him. 

“i’m sorry to interrupt but,” he interjected, feigning civility when he was totally not apologetic at all on the inside. “how do you know my girlfriend?”

izumi freezes at the mention of the word ‘girlfriend’. daishou smirks inwardly knowing that he had gotten him.

“oh i-i went to junior high with (y/n)-san.” he stuttered. “s-sorry i didn’t know you two were on a date.”

lies. daishou wasn’t an idiot, his ability to see through people on the court translated into other aspects too. his sensors definitely went off when he saw that someone was putting on a facade to take away his lover. perhaps this old friend of yours wasn’t a bad person per se, but he felt the need to assert some sort of guard against his interest towards you. 

“i’ll leave you guys alone then.” izumi said politely, with a subtle hint of disappointment in his voice. “it was nice seeing you, (y/n)-san.”

“you too, izumi, take care!” you wave him goodbye. 

for the rest of the time, as you guys stocked up on your sweet and savory goods, daishou remained silent. you had a feeling that the sudden confrontation had thrown him off guard, and squeezed his hand reassuringly. the gesture calmed him down, but he wasn’t willing to fully let this event go. 

after you guys paid, he noticed izumi exiting the store right before you two. perfect, he thought, when he noticed from the corner of his eye that he was watching once you were outside. 

daishou gently grabbed your wrist, forcing you to look at him before firmly pressing his lips to yours. you’re taken aback from how he randomly began kissing you in public like this but saw it coming at some point. you sigh in relief from getting what you secretly craved as he tenderly ravished you. one hand cradled your jaw while the other pulled you closer by the waist possessively and your arms flung around his neck. izumi could do nothing but gape, and daishou felt his gaze, chuckling into the kiss knowing that you were all his. 

not wanting to get too carried away, daishou broke the contact, taking in your flushed cheeks and parted lips. his heart swelled with pride upon realizing that izumi had left, probably run off somewhere far, far away. 

“suguru,” your flustered state fades when you laugh softly. “you were jealous weren’t you?”

daishou grunts as he brushes his lips against your forehead. “yeah..i was. sorry if i went too far. i trust you, it’s just that, you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me and are already admired by so many other people that i can’t help but let my doubts get the best of me.” he inhales sharply. “i know that there are people who think i’m not good enough for you and that they know more about you than i do and it drives me crazy even though i shouldn’t pay attention to those things, because….i love you (y/n). i love you so much and i can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

you’re speechless from the expression of his feelings. and the declaration at the end does nothing to calm your heartbeat. without hesitation, you lean in again for another kiss, this time more gentle, but passionate enough to feel all of the pent up emotions that led up to the moment. your foreheads remain pressed against each other’s after breaking the kiss. 

“i love you too, suguru.” you breathe out. “don’t ever doubt yourself or listen to what other people have to say. i promise, i would never leave you for anyone else.”

daishou’s heart had never felt warmer. if everyone else was against him, surely you’d be by his side, so why would he ever think that you’d betray him in the first place? the friendliness you exhibited towards everyone was one of the main reasons why he liked you, and he never wanted you to change despite the attention you received, especially for his projected insecurities that he no longer had to worry about. 

“we should get going to your house now,” he gazes at you with sly, dilated eyes. “maybe we can finish what we started and show our love for one another in more ways than one.”

you punch his chest, trying very hard to suppress your blush. 

“snacks and movies first! then we’ll see, only if you’re a good boy though.” you smirk.

“i’m a snack myself, baby. and you are too.” he purrs.

you laugh hysterically at what was supposed to be a suggestive joke. daishou would always be your cheesy dork underneath his tough exterior and you were loving it.

[evanbvckley]

SUMMARY: Eddie's parents come to Los Angeles and, finally, he can spend some time alone with Buck. He also has to keep a promise he made the last time they fucked, and Buck is eager to claim his prize. FANDOM: 9-1-1 (TV) RELATIONSHIP: Evan Buckley / Eddie Diaz WORDS: 5.4k.

Sequel of It wasn't a joke! [READ ON AO3]

Full story under the cut.

Two weeks passed since that shower, and things got surprisingly more difficult than before. Both Buck and Eddie didn’t want to tell everyone what happened between them, not only because Buck wasn’t a fan of telling his sister that he fucked his colleague in the showers of the fire station – Bobby wouldn’t love to hear that as well – but because they would have to file a lot of reports and documents about their relationship. And then Christopher, even though he loves Buck with his whole chest, isn't ready yet. Or at least that’s what Eddie thinks. Even after Eddie’s promise of “next time you’ll top”, they were never able to sleep together, let alone having sex. From long shifts to the impossibility to stay alone the time they need to have some fun, they continued by just staring at each other during work and off work. And of course, texting.

They never risked going to the other’s house and coming to work together: no one in the fire station must know. But Buck has no patience at all when it comes to Eddie, he has to refrain and stop himself from touching or kissing him. They both steal quick kisses from each other when no one is looking. He hates how he has to hide their relationship; it’s true that they are just waiting for them to come out as a couple – Buck is certain that everyone has their bet since that night and that kiss – but he understands that he has to. And he loves Christopher too as much as Eddie does, even if they’re sure that Chris wouldn’t hate any of that, they don’t want to drop the bomb on the kid like it’s nothing. Cause it’s not nothing. On the contrary, they want to be together every hour and every minute, they want to be able to sleep together and be themselves in front of everyone, participate as an actual couple to the dinners with the others and not act annoyed when everyone puts them side by side. It was actually funny the first times, now Buck is growing more and more impatient.

Both of them are looking forward to a night together, alone, with no distraction or whatsoever. No problems, nothing, just them. Luckily, Eddie’s family is coming to town that week and they wanted to take Christopher to the house they rented and spend the night with his grandparents that are never able to see him since they live in Texas. Eddie just had to be sure that the house was safe and that his parents had everything their grandson needed. Finally, the day has come, and Buck is excited too because he knows what that means.

“When?” He asks Eddie as their shifts are about to end and they’re alone to finish cleaning the fire truck, stealing glances while hoping no one would notice.

“9 pm. My parents are coming to take Chris at 8:15 pm but they always stay longer than usual, and usually, I don’t mind, but, you know…” He smiles and Buck follows with another smile. Yeah, he knows. He’s waiting for that moment since that shower, he can’t stop thinking about it.

“Oh, shut up.” Buck puts away the towel and everything else. The truck is now shiny again and looks brand new with that flaming red.

“Okay guys, we can go home now. See you all tomorrow!” Bobby’s voice echoes in the half-empty room. Everyone says goodbye at the same time. Hen calls Karen saying that she’s leaving at that moment to come home, Chimney does the same with Maddie.

“Do you have any plans, Eddie? Are your parents here yet?” Everybody knew about Eddie’s parents coming to Los Angeles for a week.

“Yeah. They’ll take care of Chris for the night to let me relax. It’s not that I never relax, but it will be nice for Christopher to spend some time with his grandparents. They almost never see him and since they rented an apartment, I thought that they would like it as well. I made sure they’ll have everything they need, it’s already prepared and in the bags, so they’ll just get to the house, take the bags, and spoil their grandson as they usually do. So I’ll have the house all for myself.” And Buck. Who is standing right beside him, in front of Buck.

“Any date tonight, Buck?” The shift ended pretty early, and Bobby, like the others, doesn’t really care about eventual dates Buck would go to. All of them take turns in teasing either Buck or Eddie about dates, relationships, girls they are seeing, and the like. Chimney already lost his bet, 4 days. Bobby wants to keep going for a little more since he said three weeks. Maddie is ashamed that they’re gambling on his brother’s love life, even though she would have said three weeks as well, Athena accepted the bet with Bobby. Even Karen made his bet, against Hen who said two weeks. Hen is the one keeping the money because she knows that she would have won the bet.

“No, not really.” It’s not like he’s lying, Eddie is not only a date anymore. They’re together.

“Okay Buck, see you tomorrow. And enjoy your night alone, Eddie!” He pats his hand on Buck’s shoulder and everyone goes home as the night shift squad comes in.

—

Buck is playing with his phone in his hand waiting for Eddie’s text saying that the road is clear. At one point, he just can’t wait anymore and opens the chat with him.

(8:49) Are you alone yet?

(8:52) Not yet. They’re leaving now.

(8:53) Okay, I’ll go get the car, then.

(8:58) They’re gone. I’m alone. Drive safe but be quick. (8.59) See you soon.

Buck never drove so fast while having everything under control, checking every crossroad, and stopping at every traffic light, but he is craving to have some time alone with Eddie and he can’t wait any longer. He gets to Eddie’s house a little faster than usual, he parks his car and immediately rings Eddie’s doorbell. As the man opens the door, Buck almost jumps on Eddie and closes the door with his foot as he literally smashes his lips on Eddie’s lips, taking off his shoes right after it. After two weeks of fast kisses that didn’t last even two seconds, being able to fully feel Eddie’s soft lips is driving him crazy. Finally, he repeats in his head. Eddie thinks the same thing as his hands grab Buck’s hips and he pushes him to the front door.

“We have the entire night, Buck…” He whispers, but he’s the one that can’t stop touching his man. “And the entire morning too. My parents will bring Christopher back only for lunch, we have to get to work at 8:30 am…” Buck smiles at the mere idea of having the whole night for them and them only. After having sex in a shower, knowing that this time they would have an actual bed for themselves and they could even sleep together makes him happy like never before. No one made him that happy in his life more than Eddie, no girl made him smile as Eddie does.

“Are you really making me wait?” No matter how much Buck loved the idea of having all that time available, he wants to claim his prize.

“Yeah.” Eddie laughs, locking the door and taking Buck by the hand, leading him towards his bedroom. He knows and remembers what he has promised to him. He’s eager too, he wants to feel Buck, he wants to feel him inside and see him towering over him.

“You bas—” Eddie puts a finger over Buck’s lips, and Buck shuts up.

“Shut up for a moment.” But he can’t wait either. Even before stepping inside the room, Eddie pushes Buck on the wall, licking his lips as his hands slowly raise Buck’s white shirt that barely holds his muscles. Buck can’t complain, to be honest, and he puts his arms between their bodies to unbutton the shirt until his chest is free and Eddie can touch it with both hands. Eddie’s fingers slide slowly on Buck’s skin and his fingertips tease the already hard nipples, pinching them and twisting them, something that gets Buck to moan softly. Buck gets rids of the shirt very quickly and while shirtless he puts his hands on the abs of his partner, pulling the shirt out of his pants and quickly starting to touch Eddie’s abs.

“You couldn’t wait either.” Buck chuckles. “I like it.” He forces Eddie to change position so he’s the one on the wall and Buck has full access to his body. He does the same thing Eddie did just a few moments before: he takes off Eddie’s shirt, throws it on the floor, and goes with his fingertips on his nipple, but then he adds his mouth. Buck licks, bites, and pulls them, making Eddie shiver. Eddie puts a hand in Buck’s hair, pulling it to raise Buck’s head so he can kiss him again. Then, he pushes his chest to make him fall on the bed, but as he comes closer to get on to him, Buck puts his bare foot on Eddie’s bare chest, stopping him.

“You promised.” He says, starting to rub his foot on Eddie’s body, going down on his crotch, pushing with his foot to see if his man is already turned on.

“I know. I’m good at keeping promises.” Eddie caresses Buck’s foot, as he looks right into his eyes. “You’re the top, tonight. In my house, on my bed. I want to feel yours while you fuck me on my own bed.” That leaves Buck a bit shocked and aroused at the same time. Eddie never used this language before.

“I didn’t know you were so eager to feel me inside you.” Buck starts teasing too, since Eddie clearly enjoys that game. “How much do you want me to fuck you, Eddie?” He asks, lifting his foot on Eddie’s pecs, slapping him with his sole, and bringing it then on his neck.

“I want you to fuck me in all positions and in this entire room.” Even though Eddie was kind of dominating during the shower sex, now he’s the one who looks ad Buck like a puppy ready to receive his orders. He grabs Buck’s foot again, massaging him and bringing it down again on his crotch.

“Undress me.” Eddie didn’t need anything else. He quickly gets his hands on Buck’s jeans, unzipping them and pulling them towards him to take them off. Buck’s briefs get the same treatment and Buck’s muscular, well-defined, and almost completely shaved body is right in front of him, sexy as the last time he saw him. To be honest, Buck has sent some pics to Eddie, especially when he was right out of the shower; and even if he never showed his dick in those pictures, it was clear that he was naked when he took them. Having Buck naked again and in front of him makes him almost drool. Buck stops Eddie from getting naked and slowly unzip his pants and lowers them. One hand grabs Eddie’s bulge, massaging it as the other hand pinches Eddie’s left cheek.

“Oh, fuck…”

“You’re about to experience the full top Buck experience.”

“You didn’t really say tha—” but Buck tightens his hold on Eddie’s bulge and his voice breaks as he talks, moaning and closing his eyes. Even if he’s the one topping, Buck loves giving head to his partners. And he loves Eddie moaning as he touches him. He grabs his underwear with his teeth, pulling it down and freeing Eddie’s erection. Without any hesitation he rubs his tongue on the head, holding the base tightly and massaging his balls at the same time. Eddie didn’t expect that at all, but hearing his moans it is clear that he is liking it. A lot.

Buck’s tongue moves slowly and making circular movements on Eddie’s head, jerking the cock with his hand as he focuses on giving pleasure to his partner. Buck loves pleasing Eddie. He always loved hearing his partners happy and moaning as he goes down on them, but Eddie’s moans are something different. Ethereal, he may say, if he’s feeling poetic.

“Buck…” He can feel a hand on his hair as he takes the whole cock inside his mouth, massaging his balls while the other hand goes back, on Eddie’s ass, grabbing his cheek. He could get addicted to Buck’s blowjobs. Eddie would like to move his hips and fuck Buck’s throat, but he’s not the one in control that night. And Buck seems really committed and focused like he has been dreaming and planning that night since that day. He actually has been. He imagined it all and planned every move, mostly, but the most important thing is to have fun and making it last, they both know that they don’t know when and where they’ll be alone together to do this. Buck wants to do things at his pace, take it slowly, make it last as long as possible, and make Eddie have his best orgasm in his life.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Keep going, please.” Buck smiles and stops, leaving Eddie’s cock twitching and covered with saliva since he doesn’t want him too excited, even though it would be cool making Eddie cum twice in the same night. Buck lays back and rests on his elbows on the bed, spreading his legs as his hard dick stands up.

“Suck it.” Buck smiles proudly at seeing Eddie getting on his knees quietly and obediently, opening his lips and immediately starting to lick the tip, taking it into his mouth. Then he slowly slides down, taking the whole thing in, while keeping his eye up to see Buck’s reaction and his expression, which could be explained with just two words: pure joy. Buck moans softly while he keeps his legs wide open and sees his cock disappear inside Eddie’s mouth. “You’re so hot.”

Eddie moves his head slowly and then faster, then he goes back to slow movements again, and Buck keeps filling the room with his moans. He puts a hand between Eddie’s dark curls, pushing his head down and forcing him to stay down with all his cock inside his mouth, touching the back of his throat, but Eddie doesn’t stop his tongue. It keeps rotating and twirling around Buck’s erection as he breathes through his nose; his saliva collects quickly in his mouth and drips down Buck’s testicles.

The warm sensation of Eddie’s mouth on his cock will never tire Buck: he lets his head go, so Eddie can go back at moving his head up and down Buck’s thick cock. The sloppy noises fill up the room accompanied by Buck’s moans, and both of them are getting more and more excited. They have waited two weeks for that, their balls are full and they are eager to be together for real. Eddie wants to feel Buck inside his ass, but having him inside his mouth is giving him pleasure too, even if he’s not the one receiving that blowjob. The taste of Buck’s precum on his palate keeps his body excited and his cock hard.

“Stop, stop…” Buck pulls Eddie’s hair, lifting his head only to see him with his mouth still open, the tongue out, and he can’t help but softly hit his tongue with his erection, then he rubs the tip on his face, wetting him with his own saliva. “Fuck, I want to cum in your mouth so bad.” This dominant side of Buck is something that Eddie never saw, but he loves it.

“Next time.” He laughs, licking his lips and caressing Buck’s thighs, softly rubbing his nails on his skin but with no intention of hurting him, he just can’t stop touching his man.

“Right. Next time. Now I want to taste you.” Buck pushes away Eddie and stands up. “Lay down.” Eddie obeys immediately, spreading his legs as he thinks that Buck wants to suck his cock again. “No, babe, not that part.” He pushes Eddie further on the bed and raises his legs so he can look at his hole, smiling as he looks at Eddie for a quick moment before burying his head between his legs. Even though he’s interested in his hole, the tongue starts moving by touching and lapping his balls. Then he bites Eddie’s inner thighs, making his man groan with pleasure. Buck lifts even more Eddie’s ass and spreads his cheeks wider, rubbing the entrance with one finger and then putting his tongue right over it. He shoves his lips on his entrance and the tongue slides in, pushing inside; it makes circular movements, then up and down, then again from left to right. Then the movements become like dots on the entrance, and then completely inside again. Eddie is helpless and desperate: with his legs up in the air he can’t even think about anything else than Buck’s tongue inside his hole.

“Fuck, you’re so good!”

“Thanks.” He stops just to say that, but then he goes back to his job. He licks the whole entrance, taking his time and having fun, kissing Eddie’s hole like it’s his mouth. After a while he teases him with one finger along with his tongue, rubbing it on the hole fast as he keeps on licking. The finger goes in, and then another, he puts them all inside and angles them up, reaching for Eddie’s prostate. Eddie’s moans get louder and louder, they fill the bedroom and even the adjacent rooms. But Buck doesn’t want to stop at all: he puts another finger inside him, and it’s starting to get a little tight, so that’s the opportunity to stretch him a little bit more, to make everything that is going to happen next easier.

Eddie’s cock just drips precum as Buck takes care of his hole so well. He touches Eddie’s prostate slowly so that he wouldn’t cum straight away, but he loves seeing his man moan and his body twitching, muttering intelligible words and sounds, but he can understand his name. It’s the only thing Eddie really tries to say correctly, but the voice breaking due to Buck’s fingers inside him make that quite difficult.

“Please… Buck…” Buck hears him begging and lifts his head up. He doesn’t know how many minutes have passed since he first put his tongue inside him, but since he’s begging either he wants to cum or he really wants to be fucked.

“Not yet. We have the entire night, remember?” And on top of that, both of them haven’t come in two weeks: he must be careful about how much pleasure he’s giving him. Buck has just started, and Eddie doesn’t know how much dominant and rough and kinky Buck can get. Satisfied with his work on Eddie’s hole, Buck steps away and finally, Eddie can put his legs down, but he doesn’t even have the opportunity to sit that Buck sits on his chest. His wet red tip touches gently Eddie’s chin, but Buck slides back with his body so that he can lean and kiss his man.

“You look so desperate…” Buck chuckles. It’s quite funny to him how much Eddie has changed since the shower.

“Just fuck me.”

“Eager firefighter. Calm down and kiss me.” Buck grabs Eddie’s jaw to open his mouth, spits in it, and then sticks his tongue inside it, grinding his ass on Eddie’s cock. Their tongue swirls. His tongue has just been in my ass, thinks Eddie. It’s so fucking hot. And he puts his hands on Buck’s back, helping him grind on his erection, and their cocks are rubbing one against the other, making them moan in the other’s mouth.

“Please…” Eddie tries again, just for the sake of it. Buck laughs and shakes his head, pinching Eddie’s bottom lip with his fingers and then putting them in his mouth.

“Suck.” Eddie’s look says just one thing: fuck you. But he sucks Buck's fingers. “You should know I’ve waited for this for two weeks and, babe, I had the time to plan. I have to take advantage of this time we have for ourselves.” Buck slowly stands up on the bed, so that Eddie can look at his man from under his legs, then he turns around and sits again on Eddie, but this time he rubs his balls on Eddie’s face.

“Take it in.” Buck forces his dick down Eddie’s throat until he can feel his nose touching his testicles, and then he does the same with the man’s erection, deepthroating it. Buck doesn’t care that Eddie has his mouth full, he starts to fuck his throat from that position as he sucks Eddie’s cock. It doesn’t last much, at least for what it concerns Eddie’s cock, because Buck is now seriously thrusting his cock in Eddie’s mouth, moaning deeply and loudly as he feels again that warm sensation. “I love your mouth so fucking much, Eddie.” He laughs, taking it out and sitting beside Eddie’s head, leaning over him in a perfect and steamy Spiderman kiss.

“And I love your cock. And your body. Every inch of it.”

“Every inch?” Buck looks at his feet, close to Eddie's body.

“You are not making me lick your feet, Buck.”

“I am the top now, remember?” He laughs and goes back between Eddie’s legs, but this time he just sits between his thighs, he is just playing, and he doesn’t actually want to have Eddie’s tongue on his foot. He is thinking of something else. His left sole goes on Eddie’s erection, rubbing it over it and pushing the foot down, and that is surprisingly good for Eddie. Even his moaning sounds very surprised, but he pushes his cock against Buck’s foot who now just keeps going, massaging his whole cock from the tip to the base, and even his balls.

“Now it’s all wet with my saliva, though.”

“I’m not doing it.” Eddie doesn’t even give him the time to think about it.

“Whatever, I didn’t want it.” And without a warning Buck shoves one finger inside Eddie again, just one, to prepare him. It’s time, he says in his mind, while looking at Eddie’s sweaty body.

“OH, FU—” Even if Buck didn’t want to, he doesn’t want Eddie’s neighbors to know he’s having the best sex of his life, and so he reaches for Eddie’s mouth with his foot to shut him up. It isn't the easiest movement to male, but Buck can now feel Eddie's lips on his toes.

“I thought you wanted this.” As Buck chuckles, Eddie pushes away Buck’s foot, but then he grinds his butt against his finger and moans louder, looking at his man. Buck takes away his fingers and gets on his knees, in front of Eddie’s hole, and rubs the tip over it. “Here.” He slowly penetrates him, and he doesn’t stop until he is all inside.

“Fuck, finally.” Eddie lets out a long moan, feeling every inch of Buck inside his butt. That feels so good, after what it could be more than an hour of teasing and foreplay. If Eddie were being honest, he would have even sucked both Buck’s feet if that meant that he could have finally had him inside; now that he is, he forgets about everything else.

“I want to hear the words…” He stays still, but still inside Eddie, who grunts.

“Fuck me.”

“And…?”

“Fuck me, Buck.” He loves hearing him moan his name.

“And…”

“Fuck me, Buck. Please.” Buck leans over Eddie and starts to thrust inside him, slowly at first but putting it more and more strength. Even though he’s going quite fast, he doesn’t give his all so that can last longer than usual. He knows that they’re both not that far from the climax, but he really wants to please Eddie with every move, every thrust, every time he goes back in, he wants to see the pleasure in his man’s eyes. And Eddie is already satisfying him, with his long manly moans and his muscles contracting, following the rhythm established by Buck’s pounding. Buck’s dick slides perfectly inside Eddie’s body. Buck alternates his velocity, from fast thrusts to slow and sensual ones, aiming at Eddie’s prostate. They are just one soul, even after all the things Buck did to Eddie’s hole, even after the semi foot job he gave him, when they have sex it’s the best thing they ever do: their connection is at its peak, they don’t even need to speak to communicate. Moans are enough.

Buck grunts heavily as he pulls out and changes positions, putting Eddie on his side and then laying behind him, lifting Eddie’s left leg and shove his cock back inside him. They never stop moaning even in between the change of position, and in that way he can kiss, bite, and lick Eddie’s neck and shoulders while he fucks him. Buck licks the sweat off Eddie’s body, then he bites him on the neck and even the ear lobe: Buck is hungry for him, he wants to taste him all, bite and lick every inch of his body, leaving marks, because he would really like to make everyone know that he’s his. While Eddie, who didn’t want any hickeys or bites, at that moment wants Buck to leave as many marks as he wants.

“You’re taking it so well.” Buck whispers to Eddie’s ear, grabbing his thigh with his hand and lifting it even higher. They both feel the pleasure rise quickly, Eddie knows that he’s close, and closer than Buck for sure.

“Buck…” He moans, warning him. Buck lets go of Eddie’s leg and puts the hand around his neck.

“Don’t come. Hold it.” He moans with a very commanding voice, and Eddie must obey. He nods, Buck smiles, deciding that he likes feeling his neck under his fingers he keeps the hand on it, choking him only slightly, as he breaths on the back of his head.

The thrusts are violent and rough, they moan together as one as the hold on Eddie’s neck becomes stronger. Buck moves his hand on Eddie’s hard nipples, twisting them and torturing his body while his cock now doesn’t have any more friction. Eddie is a moaning sweaty mess, his body keeps twitching every time Buck hits the prostate, and his toes curl up. So close. Buck takes his cock out again, taking Eddie and putting him on all fours, on the bed, with his pretty hole in front of him and thrusting in him again. From that position, he can pull his hair and lift his head, scratch his back a little, and while pulling his hair he goes back to fuck him until he hears his balls hitting Eddie’s ass. Eddie is finally used to it, there is no more resistance or anything like that, both of them are enjoying the most pleasure they had in a while and Buck can’t wait to see him cum all over himself. Eddie contracts his muscles as he’s at his limit, and when Buck feels them surrounding his hard member he immediately pulls out to get Eddie on his back and lift his legs. Eddie puts his ankles on Buck’s shoulders, opening his hole with the hands and helping his man coming back inside.

“Please…” Buck nods and he starts fucking him again with even more strength than before.

“Come.” He moans, grabbing his feet and thrusting inside him without any hesitation, without stopping; he wants to see his man cum and moan and cry for the pleasure he’s giving him. It doesn’t take that long.

“B-Buck…” Eddie moans, arching his back as he feels like his body is on fire. The pleasure is way too much to hold it in and he finally shoots his warm load on his whole chest: he has never cum so hard. The powerful orgasm ends with Eddie panting under Buck who is still fucking him, he hasn’t stopped a second even while the man was cumming, and he enjoyed every contraction of Eddie’s muscles around his erection.

“Fuck, Eddie, you look so hot.” Buck is close too, and when he realizes he’s about to cum he starts pulling out, but Eddie shakes his head.

“Inside.” He whispers, tiredly, and Buck nods. With a huge grunt and a loud moan, he sticks his dick all inside Eddie, releasing his load in his hole.

“Fuck, fuck!” Buck keeps filling him up. “Fuck, it’s so much!” They moan together, Eddie is now covered with sweat and cum, and he has it even inside his hole. Buck stays inside Eddie even after his orgasm has ended, enjoying the warm sensation of Eddie’s inside along his own semen that surrounds his erection, and then he softly kisses Eddie’s foot while they both calm down.

“Don’t come out yet. I want to feel you.” Buck can’t disagree, and he lets go of Eddie’s feet so he can bend over him and, while staying inside him, kiss him softly and slowly. Still hungry for more, however, Buck starts licking away Eddie’s load off his chest, swallowing every drop he can catch with his expert tongue, and then he goes back to Eddie's lips. That kiss tastes like saliva, sweat, and cum, and it’s the hottest thing Eddie has ever tasted. Even if they are done with it, Buck keeps grinding on Eddie, pushing his cock inside him as it loses its erection and becomes flaccid.

“It’s gonna take a lot of work to clean you. We made a mess.”

“We made love; this is not a mess. It’s everything I wanted.” Eddie grabs Buck by the back of his head and pulls him down to him kissing him again. Their bodies touch, Buck’s chest gets dirty with Eddie’s semen as they keep rubbing them one over the other. “You came so hard, I feel completely full.”

“Yeah.” Buck nods, licking Eddie’s lips. “I should make you eat it. It’s coming out either way.” Eddie’s eyes widen and suddenly he gets quiet. Buck smiles, reaching Eddie’s hole with one hand and collects some of his own cum with his fingers. After he is satisfied with the amount he got, he drops it right in Eddie’s mouth. Eddie swallows it all without making any sound, only a happy sigh after his mouth it’s empty.

“I was right, next time I’m filling up your mouth.” Buck kisses him again and lays beside Eddie. They both need to take a shower, but they want to take those quiet minutes for themselves. Just cuddling – even if they are dirty – and soft kisses. Buck puts one leg over Eddie’s lap and rubs their feet together.

“You kissed my foot.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you like it?” Buck doesn’t know how to answer that. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Just a bit. I got carried away during sex, I think.” Two fingers softly caress Eddie’s jaw.

“I mean I did like the foot massage on my dick…”

“Don’t get me horny again, Eddie.” Buck laughs, shoving his face on Eddie’s shoulders.

“Look who’s shy now, after putting his foot on my mouth, licking my hole, and…” Buck laughs and puts a hand on Eddie’s mouth to silence him.

“Shut up.” He kisses him again, sitting on Eddie’s lap one more time. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck.” They kiss again and then go to take a shower together so they can go to bed. Naked, obviously. Buck wants to be able to see Eddie’s body all the time and vice versa, there’s no need for clothes when they are together. They keep teasing each other even when they are walking to the bathroom, as Eddie feels Buck’s load dripping down his leg.

—

The next morning, Buck and Eddie arrive at the fire station at the same time: they didn’t even think about the consequences of that simple action, especially since Buck has the same clothes he wore yesterday. The entire squad looks at them, and they are all smiling.

“What happened?” Buck asks, with the LAFD bag on his shoulder. Then he realizes. Fuck.

“You could at least change your clothes, Buck.” Hen laughs. She’s keeping the money.