#love her writing soooooooo much she was the one who got me into tim and i love HER tim to the moon and back

[mangoisms]

making my monthly stop to the The DC Writing Blog Ever to pay my respects

[flying-elliska]

salut ellie! someone once asked you about your writing and you recommended falling in love with language and finding ways of writing you love. i was wondering, what books and/or writing styles are you in love with? it's just so interesting to know what somehow had an impact on the way you're writing bc i honestly adore your style

wow do you remember that ? that is such a flattering question oh my god. well, i’m still working on it. some of my favorites are (i’m very eclectic lmao) : 

- His Dark Materials (it’s a fantasy book series ‘for kids’ but it’s actually insanely deep and philosophic) is pretty much the first book series that made me fall in love with stories, and made me want to write. I think I found it when I was 10, and it completely shaped me. It’s so ambitious and clever, it never talks down to the reader, brings up those amazing worlds and philosophical concepts and is still accessible to kids. Most of all it is so committed to atmosphere, to making it vivid, to really make you go through what the characters are. I’m thinking of it and I can remember exactly certain passages in an almost sensory way : the witch Serafina Pekkala describing what it feels like to feel the Aurora Borealis on her bare skin as she is flying through the arctic. The polar bear Iorek giving Lyra frozen moss to help bandage his wounds after a battle. The grilled poppy heads that the Jordan College scholars at Oxford eat during a meeting. The little Gallivespians on their dragonflies and the way the sun reflects off their poisonous spurs. That’s how you make a story stick ; that’s how you can put in deep stuff without ever making it boring. I am so excited they’re making a tv series because that shit deserves some recognition. And I mean the whole plot about the importance of stories, free will, the horror of religious fundamentalism....always relevant. Philip Pullman’s stuff is great in general, I love his Sally Lockhart series, which is more adult and adventure focused, and is a great deal of fun. And of course, the sequel to HDM he’s been putting out recently. 

- I spent a lot of my teen years reading either crime novels or historical novels. (When I think of some of the stuff I read when I was 13 I’m like oh my god what were my parents doing lmao some of that was really horrible.) And I think it gave me a good feeling for suspense and setting, and how important tension is. One of my all time faves is Andrea Japp. She is a French writer who does mostly crime, involving complex/monstrous woman characters and a very sensory, poetic approach to language, often involving food, plants and poisons. My favorite by her is the “Season of the Beast”/Agnès de Souarcy chronicles, which is a crime series set in medieval times, with a cool independent lady at its core, crimes in a monastery, and this very gloomy end of times vibe that I love. I also read a lot of Scandi Noir stuff, I love the kind of ...laconic approach to life. And again : vibe. Vibe is so important. And Sherlock Holmes stories. I love the Mary Russell series that take place in that universe and are basically a big Mary Sue self insert guilty pleasure but are just. So much fun. 

- I like poetry a lot - not stuff that is too wordy, but something short, sharp and vivid. i think reading poetry is essential to feeding your inner ‘metaphor culture’. I love Mary Oliver. Rimbaud, too, that I read at 17 and rocked my world. One of my underrated faves is  Hồ Xuân Hương, a Vietnamese poet from the 18th century who was adept at using nature metaphors to hide both erotic stuff, irreverent jokes, and political criticism, and correspond with all the great scholars of her time under a pseudonym. Badass.  Recently I bought ‘Soft Science’ by Franny Choi, which is about cyborgs, having a female body, emotions and politics and it’s absolutely brilliant. 

- I love reading fairy tales, too. Currently reading (i always read a lot of books at once lol) Angela Carter’s Book of Fairy Tales, basically fairy tales for grown ups, collected from folklore all over the world, with an amazing kind of gruesome humor and wisdom. Norse mythology is also so damn funny. That one bit with Thor dressing up as a bride or Loki’s shenanigans...amazing. And I like fantasy, I find it very soothing to read for some reason, my fave has to be Robin Hobb and her Realm of the Elderlings series. And Terry Pratchett, especially the series with Death or the Witches. Just brilliant. Neil Gaiman too. 

- I tend to be very impatient when it comes to literary fiction, I find a lot of it is self-indulgent, dreary. I’m a genre reader through and through, I need to be amazed. I loved ‘the Elegance of the Hedgehog’ by Muriel Barbery though. Some stuff by Amélie Nothomb, Virginie Despentes occasionally (they’re French writers with a very dark, wry approach to life, tho the first is more polished acid and the second very punk rock). And ‘Special Topics in Calamity Physics’ by Marisha Pessl is pretentious as hell but a lot of fun, if you like dark academia. Salman Rushdie has a way with language that is amazing. 

- I read a lot of non-fiction. At the moment : the Cabaret of Plants (about the symbolic/socio historical meaning of plants and how they shaped history) by Richard Mabey and ‘Feminist Fight Club’ by Jessica Bennett. One I absolutely love is ‘the Botany of Desire’ by Michael Pollan in which he traces the history of four plant species (apple, potato, cannabis, tulip) and how they impacted us as much as we impacted them. I was obsessed with plants for most of my life as you can see lol (my mother is a herbalist and I wanted to become a botanist for quite a while.). Also philosophy/anthropology in little bits. I love Tim Ingold. Things about witches. Anything by Rebecca Solnit is incredible. 

- I’ve been reading a lot of YA recently, because it’s fun and quick and keeps me reading, and has a lot of good female characters. Big fave recently : Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. It’s about a young bisexual woman who’s grieving and comes to this weird house full of doors, each of which leads to a different path in life, and we follow her through each choice she can potentially make, each of one becomes a different genre of story : creepy ghost story, spy story, sci-fi, cute romance, etc. It’s so innovative and it’s a story that is also bisexual culture at its core. Also I absolutely love love love love love (etc forever) the Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater. What she does with language is just so cool, because she stays simple and efficient but uses her metaphors in such a fulgurant, vivid way. Some of her lines are just. bam! genius. #goals. Also Ronan Lynch is probably THE character that helped me the most with my coming out. He’s one of my forever faves.  Of course Harry Potter, lmao, I was of the generation that pretty much grew up with him, the last book came out when I was 17. JK Rowling really should just stop rn. But I learned so much from those, about the importance of making your story feel like home, and having a clear emotional journey. And Harry is such a sarcastic little shit, I love him. And I love a Series of Unfortunate Events too, the darkly funny tone of it, the celebration of knowledge and resilience. 

- I think in terms of the classics (I had to read in school lmao), I do like Victor Hugo a lot even though some of his stuff just doesn’t fucking stop. I also like Balzac and his Comédie Humaine, he’s very observant, mean and funny when it comes to people (even though it’s depressing.) Colette is my grandma’s fave writer and she is a rockstar, I love her (also hella bi culture). Jane Austen is great, I read Pride and Prejudice in one night straight, I was so hooked. Love Jane Eyre too. I read On the Road by Jack Kerouac while hopped up on opioid pain killers and that’s probably the only way to appreciate it, but it did mark me.  

- But to be completely fucking candid, I probably read the most fanfic nowadays still. Esp since I got to college, I need to unwind when I read, and having characters you already know can be so comforting. Now, of course, there’s a lot of fanfic that is just fluff (nothing wrong with that) but I honestly really believe in the literary value of fanfic. Because some of that shit simply just really slaps and is well written. But also as a genre on its own : you just simply don’t get so much emotional nuance, and depth in most other things. Because these are characters we already know and the writers are not afraid to be self-indulgent and plot is secondary, we see shades of things that we never see anywhere else, we see relationships developping in the small things and wow that shit is breathtaking, bro, sometimes. The art of infinite variation on a theme. Even though a lot of fic writers could use a bit of stricter editing, and do stuff a bit too many unnecessary details in here, so does Victor Hugo soooooooo....

lol i could go on forever. i love book soooo much. uni kinda killed my reading appetite, I used to read several books a week when I was in middle school. hope i can get back there (although maybe not as much bc i have a life now lol.) but thinking about everything i have yet to read makes me sooooo happy. I want to get more into sci-fi, English lit classics. Basically I like stuff that’s witty, dark, political, hedonistic, with dry humor, but a warm heart. Stories that celebrate knowledge, curiosity and human weirdness. And that gets to the point. When I get bored by a book, I put it down, because I just don’t have the time. I also hate writers where you can tell that they think they’re better than other people. Misanthropy is boring. Thank you for this question anon I had a blast

[neighbours-kid]

Dammit, Dean Devlin.

Once upon a time, there was this little show called Leverage.

It first aired in 2008. It had 5 seasons, 77 episodes, 5 main characters.

I was probably fifteen when I first laid eyes on this little show. I was at my dad's, it was some time after dinner, we were watching TV. And there it was, that first episode. We watched it, it was fun.

Over the course of a couple of years, I kept catching that episode on TV. But only the first one. Never more than that.

I forgot about it and was surprised every time I saw the episode. And I kept thinking, I wanna check this out, this looks like fun.

I think either shortly before the last season aired in 2012, or shortly after, I finally remembered the show well enough to go, okay, let's watch this. I have not been the same person since.

This little show called Leverage is without a doubt the best show I have ever seen in my life, and it is to this day still the only thing that has never disappointed me once. I loved Chuck, but it was not perfect. I had issues with it. I love the Marvel Netflix stuff, I think it's fun. But it's not perfect. I adore NCIS and The Mentalist. Are they perfect? Nope.

But I cannot find one single flaw about Leverage. I love it with all my heart and I would not change one single thing. Well, maybe I would've not cancelled it after five seasons. But even with that....it rounds off so perfectly. The last season, the finale, it is so fucking perfect.

One of the things that made Leverage so perfect, were the absolutely fantastic main characters and the development they had over those five seasons. I feel like I could write endlessly about the character development in this show. It's so marvellous and so well done.

You have Nate Ford, the "leader" of the group, this little family. The ex-insurance fraud detective, so broken, so flawed, such a wonderful jerk. He makes sure that the plans work, he is the mastermind behind their cons, their grifts, their thefts. He is the puppet master. Ah, I adooooore him. His alcoholism and control issues were never glamorised, it wasn't sugarcoated, and he was not vilified for it. He grew so much in those five seasons, he changed a lot, and yet he never betrayed his own character. Tim Hutton just smashes this role. I really, truly adore him.

You have Sophie Devereaux, femme fatale, grifter extraordinaire, a character so diverse, so beautifully portrayed by Gina Bellman, from episode to episode different, and yet still only one very complex and wonderfully crafted character. While Nate is the one who makes sure that the plan works, Sophie is the one to make sure that everyone gets out of it alive, unharmed, safe. She is the caretaker. To watch a grifter struggle with identity issues is such a great thing. Watching Sophie finding herself, finding her own dreams and ambitions, finding her calling over those five seasons, was such a treat.

That's the "parents". Then you have the "kids".

Alec Hardison, a motherfuckin' ray of sunshine. Hardison is the nerd, the geek, master of computers, the best hacker on earth, and just an all around joy. Only 22 when they started filming, Aldis Hodge is so fucking young but he plays him like a master. Aldis absolutely acts the shit out of that character. Hardison is such a sweetheart. On my first round through the show, he was definitely my favorite character, I identified with him so much. He was handsome, he was elegant, he had style, he was such a beautifully crafter character, and he still was the nerd and he is still black. You don't usually get that. Hardison is so incredibly kind and loving and all he wants is for his little family of criminals to feel good, to be safe, to feel loved. He gives them a home wherever they go. Aldis Hodge fucking rocked this role and I can't do anything but applaud him.

Then you have Parker, the all around misfit. Usually, in every other show, her character would be dismissed as either the "beauty" just there for the male gaze, or the weirdo who is the butt of every joke. But not with Leverage. Just like the other characters, she is wonderfully portrayed by Beth Riesgraf, has so many interesting layers and we learn so much about her over those five seasons. Parker is the world's greatest thief, she likes money for money's sake, she experienced a lot of bad things, was hurt in so many ways, and came out of it anyway. She found her own family, the people who did not dismiss her as a freak, an outcast, but embraced her being different, maybe a little weird, and loved her anyway. The relationships she builds with the other characters are so very different from each other, so well thought out, so wonderfully done. And what Leverage does so masterfully is that it does not pit Sophie and Parker against each other. It gives you a beautiful friendship between those two women, who could not be different from each other. There is so much love, respect and understanding between those characters. It's so refreshing to see. Have I mentioned how much I love this show already? I fucking love this show.

And then you have Eliot Spencer. Oh, I could cry buckets just thinking about him. I have never in my life seen such beautiful character development. What they did with Eliot over those five seasons is an absolute masterpiece of writing. Eliot -- the hitter, the fighter, the stone cold cowboy, whose fists say more than his mouth -- that guy changes so much. But not just that, he's not just the fighter. He's the "beau" mostly, and not Sophie. And he is incredibly passionate about cooking. You have this knife-wielding, punch-throwing, fucking badass, and he loves cooking. There is so much history revealed over the course of the show and he learns so. fucking. much. He goes from "You all annoy me and I'm just here for revenge and money" to "I will protect these people from this unjust world with my life and I would take on dragons and mountain trolls if it meant that they are safe and protected". Christian Kane is such a wonderful actor and he gives this character an immense amount of depth and he has more than three dimensions. Eliot is a masterpiece. And I love him to pieces. I could write ESSAYS about him. Long, wordy, essays.

You have this beautiful little family of thieves, of criminals, con-men, flawed, hurt, wonderful people. Incredibly gorgeously crafted characters, played so magnificently by all these great, amazing actors.

Leverage has rocked my world and sparked so many different interests in me. I would be a completely different person without it. I have no idea how many times I have watched it through. I spent at least half a year just going through it over and over and over again. As soon as I watched the finale, I put the first season on again, no stops, no pauses. It never got boring, I kept seeing new things, kept making connections between certain things. This show brought me so much joy. I love it with all my heart.

What Dean Devlin and John Rogers created is a show that makes me feel at home, that makes my heart swell with love, that was just absolutely fucking perfect. And still, it got cancelled and the last season ended in 2012.

Two years later, a NATO counter terrorism agent is in the middle of taking down terrorist and stopping a bomb from exploding, when suddenly an arrogant, brilliant, kind of dashing guy shows up, talks about ancient artefacts and curses and mythologies, and helps the agent stopping the bomb.

And with that, The Librarians is born. Or better yet, reborn into a tv show. By whom? None other than John Rogers and Dean Devlin.

What is it? Well, it's a little show that just finished it's fourth season. It's a show about a team of people who would've never found together if they had not been thrown into this adventure. They could not be different.

You have Flynn Carsen, a kind of arrogant, incredibly brilliant and well-versed guy, who is kind of dashing, has a tendency to go off and do things by himself, and is, more or less, the "leader" of the group.

You have Eve Baird, ex-NATO agent, the actual leader of the group, the protector, who sees to it that everyone gets out of the adventures alive. She is the guardian. Eve is a strong, independent woman who don't need no man, but chooses to have one anyway, because that self-destructive, arrogant idiot is so very intriguing, and he genuinely cares about her.

You have Ezekiel Jones, a Korean-Australian, nerd, computer genius, thief and, deep down, a sweetheart. He is more arrogant than anyone, he loves nothing more than himself, and saying his name, but he does have a heart. A big one. And he loves his new-found family.

You have Cassandra Killian, a quirky, pretty, absolutely brilliant young lady, who does not always fit in. She gets excited about things at the wrong time, she is overly hyperactive at times, but so so loyal, and caring, and loving.

And then you have Jacob Stone. The fighter. The brawler. The country kid from Oklahoma. The one you look at and think, that guy has skin like stone, nothing can hurt him, and he has no soft side. You have this tough ass bitch of a guy.... and he is soooooooo passionate about art, about architecture, about literature, about poetry. He quotes some author in every episode. He gets excited about museums and buildings and old symbols and engravings. And he cares so much about these people he only just met, he will protect them with everything he's got. A big teddy bear, a softie.

(Then you also have Jenkins who is just absolutely fantastic and I adore him and I could go on for ages about him but words could not make him justice, so I'm not trying. Also, he is kinda not relevant for my point.)

Now look at those five characters.

Leader guy, arrogant, self-destructive, cares so much but can't really express it, runs from commitment for the longest time, but actually wants to stay, just doesn't know how?

Strong, independent woman who's actually kind of the leader, sees to it that everyone feels good, doesn't need a man, but falls for the one who runs away anyway?

Nerdy, non-white computer guy, who knows he is awesome at what he does, is unconventionally stylish compared to the usual type of this character, cares about his new found family a lot and tries to support them with new ideas?

Brilliant, weird woman but absolutely beautiful in her own way, very caring but can't express it sometime, quirky and hyperactive?

Badass softie with a super specific interest he is brilliant at despite it maybe being considered effeminate in comparison to his other super manly, buff-ness, played by Christian Kane?

Sound familiar?

Nate or Flynn, Sophie or Eve, Hardison or Ezekiel, Parker or Cassie, Eliot or Jacob?

I am NOT saying these are exactly the same characters, far from it. They are all their own wonderful selves. But there are similarities there that I just adore so much. I admit, I think of Jacob as just an alias of Eliot's that he had before he joined the Leverage crew, and he is indeed the very same person. But that's just me, because I love Leverage so much and I miss it with all my heart and having the opportunity to have Eliot live on in something else? I'll take it in a heart beat.

I started watching The Librarians a few weeks ago. I am close to finishing season three now. It took me about two seasons to warm up to Flynn, and I admit I still don't like him as much as I loved Nate. I admit, Ezekiel still pisses me off a lot because of his constant "I am Ezekiel Jones". And yet... I still like them. I still think they are wonderfully crafted characters.

I did not mean to like The Librarians. I did go into this show thinking that I probably won't like it because it's not Leverage. These are not my beloved characters and this is not the best show on earth. But it's a good show. It's a beautiful show. It's lovely.

And I fucking HATE that I like it so much, because I really did not want to love another show. I am so pissed at myself for really liking it.

But I do. And I wish this show all the best. Season four just ended and the campaigning for a fifth season is on its way. I think it really deserves it. I am so on board for a fifth season.

I have one more thing to say.

Dammit. Dammit, Dean Devlin. Dammit, John Rogers. I did not want to like this show. And yet your wonderful show is exactly that. Wonderful. Adorable. Lovely.

I really miss Leverage. I miss it so much. And I wish you'd make a movie, get the gang back together again for one last job. Just one more time breaking the law, no encores.

(Thank you Dean, John, and also Chris Downey, for Leverage. It still is everything I ever wanted from a TV show and still the only show that never disappointed me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys are the best.)

[violupe-blog]

Dating in 2018 Sucks Ass

I think anyone who is single in this day n age can agree with me on this... dating sucks. 

I’ve been single for 5 and a half years now. I’ve been single this long mostly by choice. I’ve been busy with getting my bachelors degree and working multiple jobs trying to keep up with my bills.

In late 2017, I had finally scored a good job. Now, I’m no where near making 6 figures but I’m making more than enough to be able to comfortably pay all of my bills and still have money left over for leisurely expenses.

So, with this new job, and finally having a normal work life, I thought I should start getting into dating. My 3 best friends and my older sister are all in amazing relationships. This means I’m either always the 3rd wheel or I’m at some point listening to their wonderful lives with their significant others.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am so happy to see the people that I love in my life in happy and loving relationships. But you can’t help but think to yourself, how lonely your bed is at night.

Sure, I’ve got my 2 cats (borderline crazy cat lady over here) but you can’t really have a conversation with them. Sure I can make meow sounds at them when they meow to me, but it’s not the same... ya know?

Now a second reason why I never got into the dating scene prior to 2018 had a lot to do with the fact that I’m a very shy person and meeting new people can be a little scary for me. There were a few times in the past that I tried online dating, but I was way too scared to meet people, so I quickly stopped all together.

Shortly after the New Year this year... I decided to make a New Years Revolution for once in my life. I decided that I wanted to take more chances in my life, put myself out there, and start meeting new people. Frankly, I was done being the third wheel.

So what did I do? What every single person in 2018 that was looking to meet people did, of course. I signed up for Tinder for the first time.

Now.... Why did I chose tinder? I couldn’t tell you.. After all, it is a shallow dating app. You swiped through people based on their photos. Most people couldn’t even be bothered to write something in their bio. And if they did, it wasn’t very descriptive of who they were as a person. But if they did have a descriptive bio, it came off as weird as no one else was doing that... And even so, you didn’t really read it until after you matched, but it was too much work having to go onto their profiles to read up on them before you swiped. So no win in the regards.

Now, why am I writing about my shitty dating experience, do you ask? Well, I’m sure a lot of people have funny dating stories, which is why I wanted to write about my experiences. I think the best kind of comedy is the kind that people can relate to, and its good to make a joke out of shitty situations to lighten the mood up a lot.

Now, in my stories, I will of course be using aliases, but these stories are going to be 100% true.

A little about me. I am an Automotive Service Advisor at a Car Dealership. I won’t specify which one, though. After a few months at this position, I started making some long lasting relationships, especially with Andrew and Jake. Andrew was one of our parts guys and Jake is the other service advisor.

These two basically became my work husbands. They are both really great people.

Andrew, however, it a very short man. I, myself, am 5′7 and I look down at him when we talk (not in the figurative ‘I’m better than you’ way, I literally look down at him). Andrew, was also single and also on Tinder. When we both discovered we were both on the app, we started venting towards each other.

Now, where I work, it is very encouraged to joke around and give each other a hard time. We can go a little over board with the back and forth insults, but it was all in good fun.

Andrew himself could get a little morbid as well, but everyone appreciated his creepy sense of humour. Especially myself.

One day, he was venting about how he had gotten ghosted the night he was supposed to meet a girl. He was a little upset, as most people would be. He of course, had to throw in the ‘short card’. He mentioned that he had told her his height and conversation had taken a turn after that point. He had tried to ignore it, but it was hard after she.

Soooooooo. I had to go be a jerk and crack a joke.

“It must be tough finding a girlfriend when you’re short” are the words that came out of my mouth. Word vomit, is what I like to call it.

I froze the second I realized what I said. NOW I in no way meant that being short is unattractive, I MEANT that girls are shallow about height (because, it is true). But the way I worded it, sounded like I thought he was doomed due to his height.

Of course, Jake heard the word vomit that just spewed out of my mouth and he nearly died laughing. I covered my mouth with my hands and looked at Andrew, who’s jaw had dropped out of shock.

“Wow.” was what he said, in his Andrew-esque way (I wish there was a way to describe the way he said wow).

Thankfully, Andrew has a morbid sense of humour. Thankfully, he took it as a depressing joke. And of course, he held it against me (hell, it’s currently September as I’m typing this out and this happened back in January and he still holds this against me).

Throughout the day, he kept on reminding me of the humiliating words that came out of my mouth. And no matter how much of a joke he turned it into, I still felt so bad.

So, a few days later, I had a coffee date lined up with a really cute guy. Conversation via text went very, very well. I was actually excited to meet this lad.

We decided to meet up at a Tim Hortons half way between us. I lived in Val Caron and he lived in Lively, so it was about 10 minutes for each of us to drive. If you’re familiar with the Greater Sudbury Area, you know how geographically spread out all of the towns are.

I had gotten there first. I had planned it like that. I wanted to be parked and waiting for when he arrived.

A truck exact to his that he described pulled into the parking lot and parked beside me. So, we got out of our vehicles to meet.

And guess what.

HE WAS SHORTER THAN ME.

I had a hard time not laughing. Not because of his height, but because of what had transpired at work a few days prior. Now, I’m not gonna lie. I had always envisions the man of my dreams to look a certain way, which did include being taller than me. However, I kept an open mind about him.

And guess what? He turned out great! We got a long very well, conversation had a great flow to it. There was no awkward silence to it at all. We both laughed and I felt like we had a good time.

As most people probably do, I felt very nervous about whether or not he really was interested in me. Luckily though, the next morning, he had texted me good morning. What a relief!!

I was a little bit excited. So what did I do? I texted my three best friends Sharron, Shelly, and Jordan about him thinking that things were going to go somewhere. He had even asked me out on a second date!! 

I was pretty giddy.

Now, of course, I had to tell Andrew and Jake as well. I couldn’t help but make a joke of it, and boy did Andrew love that one up!

Unfortunately, the day we were supposed to go on a second date, he cancelled on me. Well, he just didn’t text me all day and later that night he said something had come up. I said that it was okay and that we could always reschedule. But no response... I had gotten ghosted for the first time. And boy did that suck!!

And this starts the beginning of my ‘fun’ dating stories. I hope you enjoyed.. there’s more stories to come