#love a crazy ass who thinks they somehow have influence on the weather <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[faunandfloraas]

Seungmin being all sorrowful about the rain and going like "does this all happen because of us 🥺" no babe you don't actually have weather powers, no need to feel guilty now djjdjdjskeksm

[shakesonaplane]

Throwback Blog Post: “Top 5 Airplane Personalities”

Season’s greetings my intrepid band of misfits. I hope the coming weeks bring some sort of wonderful holiday cheer and joyous good times. If you’re like me, you’re huddled around something warm right now as the Northern Hemisphere plunges into the cold abyss that is the winter (#brr). In my meandering on the internet and my old archives, I somehow stumbled upon a blog I wrote from back in College / University. In reading through my realized how frightfully embarrassing that whole thing is (not that this is any less embarrassing mind you), but I did find a gem that really brought a smile to my day.

So instead of some trip recap (and because I’m lazy), I’d like to offer you a throwback post from 2008 where I decided to tell the world that I’m a pathological liar when I travel. Given the upcoming increase in your travel plans, I figure what better time to remind everyone that airplanes are sincerely a fun place to make some new friends. So, without much further ado, I present an “anshubhaiyya” special from 9 years ago on how much I enjoyed messing with people on airplanes as a young adult.

In case you’re wondering what I looked like in 2008 when I wrote all of this insanity (only things that haven’t changed are the hairy arms)

Hi I’m Ken Adams - Top 5 Airplane Personalities

I love airports…well, I take that back, I don’t like being in them when I’m in a rush or when I’ve just had my fourth cavity search, but I love to people watch. When you go to an airport, everyone is so busy and so hustled that people’s real, unfriendly selves come out. Whether its the angry mother with her four kids being rowdy, who she normally handles well but given the lack of Sesame Street or toys, she’s stuck keeping them occupied…or the busy business person who doesn’t seem to notice there are other people in lines or on escalators and always has a damn bluetooth headset attached (btw its funny to talk as the other part of their conversations and watch their reactions)…or the harassed traveler who is stuck in a place they don’t want to be because of weather and they’re either yelling or sleeping due to exhaustion from too much yelling…

But, when you get on that plane, you’re forced to sit and be nice to a person who is far too close for comfort…and if you’re like me you’re usually alone in traveling so you don’t know this woman/man and have to be cordial and polite for any amount of flight time while all you wish was that you could land and do something mildly interesting…..the best, though, is how people tend to strike up conversations with each other in order to make the time fly….maybe even asking thought provoking questions but usually just trying to keep the conversation going because, let’s face it…if you start and stop abruptly it’s just awkward

So, this guy sitting next to you on the flight, they don’t know you and chances are you’ll never meet them again….so what do I do? I lie….I make up who I am and where I’ve come from and what I’m doing because, to me, that’s more interesting…the more exciting you are the more fun you can have with people and in turn, the more fun they have….it’s fun to meet someone interesting, so much so that you feel better about your trip given a fun tidbit of information or a cool personality (see Fight Club)…

1) The Child Prodigy

A lot of us like to travel as comfortable as possible, and in doing so we tend to wear shirts, hoodies or hats that have our school’s name on them….so usually a good way to start a conversation with this person is to see their age and ask, “oh do you go to school there?”…to which one can simply reply…”oh no, I actually teach”…the cover story I used was that I was a child prodigy and graduated high school at age 14, college at age 17 and got my Ph. D. last year (usually I’m about 21 or 22)…people are usually astounded and I say “no, it’s not that great, I don’t have tenure yet, just an assistant professor” and when asked about what you teach, make up some information about the last final or test you took and run with it….whether you’re an economics guru or a biological whiz or whatever…this one is always fun because the first look you get is the “what the hell?” look to which you can laugh and say “I know, sounds crazy…”

2) The identical twin

This particular way doesn’t usually work, unless you sit next to someone who barely recognizes you (someone from school or an extracurricular or someone that hardly knows who you are)….this is actually what started, for me, the lying on airplanes…One day when I met a girl I recognized from high school debate (nerdy, yes), she ended up sitting next to me in the small hometown airport….she was a HUGE ass kisser/gunner/bitch/etc. but wanted to befriend me on the plane….she led with a “have we met”…so I countered with the “no, I’m sorry” and when she said I looked familiar and had I done debate I said, “oh, no that was my twin brother Abhishek….yeah my name is Neil, I didn’t do all that…he did”….after which I spoke about myself in the third person to her and just basically made up whatever I liked…where I went to school, how I was doing, what I had said about debate/her/Harvard (where she went)….sometimes talking about yourself as someone else to someone else who actually thinks they know your original self can be fun…write that down

3) The Arranged Marriage-er

This one always kills because of the ethnic card I have…see being a young Indian man flying to and from random cities can get really annoying…people tend to glare at you, almost afraid you’re a ticking bomb…so when you sit down next to your John/Jane Doe…you start to fidget, act uncomfortable, and ultimately ask them if they’re married (it usually helps if they are)…when they reply, you start asking interesting, thought provoking questions about married life in America (accented is a plus), and ultimately end the line of questioning with…”well that was probably easier bc you met your spouse well before”…after they try to figure it out….you start with the ethnic barbaric nature so many people think exists….I’m only 22 but it’s a good marriage age…my parents found a wonderful person from India who is our caste and all the stars and signs agree we’re a great match…I’ve met her a few times but I’m on this plane to go to my wedding…they live in ______ (insert town) and basically I’m going to be married in a few days….then just sit back and watch as they ponder the crazy arrangements, they congratulate you, or they are shocked….my ultimate goal is to have a champagne toast or something with the cabin after several people hear about it…but yes, this is one of my favorite airplane personalities bc marriage makes people happy

4) The Professional Dancer

This tends to work best if you’re flying to and from a major city….I first used this on a trip from LAX to Chicago…sometimes when people ask you what you’re doing in a certain city, this is a good way to go….it’s hard to be a professional singer or actor or athlete because more people will attempt to look for you or even know if you’ve been in certain things (unless you want to be totally aspiring but that’s no fun)…so I went the dancer route…you’re traveling from your home in City A to a concert in City B for _______ (insert obscure musician) in which you’re a backup dancer….you can start talking about influences, styles and even tell the person of where they might’ve seen you (“If you ever see a video with a group called N’Sync…called Pop, I was in the background of the ____ scene)…then you can start talking about the business, people you know, potential sexualities….it’s always quite fun

5) The Young Entreprenuer

Sometimes you find yourself sitting on flights and you’re dressed better than you should….you might be wearing a suit or just a nicer outfit than most and we all tend to own nice electronics like iPods and things…so this one I’ve devised on a trip back from NYC when I changed into my only clean (but very dressy) clothing…go with what you like but I tend to start my young millionaire personality as an online store that sells something really random…chairs are a good one, also random software, designer kitchenware, video gamer sites…basically anything that most people wouldn’t look at as millionaire making….when people ask what you do you say, oh well I’m just outta college but I’m working on my company, which I started in HS…right now we’re private but we’re getting enough buzz to warrant publicly selling to google/ebay/apple, whatever…basically running with the idea that you’re set for life and all you want to do is make more money…it’s always a good idea to have a company name in mind in case, but usually you can be small enough to be under the radar of most people….being a young millionaire can be fun too, because you can talk about the dream cars you own, the trips you’ve taken and, if you have an elderly person, it’ll melt their heart if you say you’ve made it so you’re parents don’t have to work anymore…

…Just to let you know, I don’t think lying is a great thing to do…the idea is that having fun is important and this person who you’ll never see again will only understand you as that interesting person they met on a plane….in a way you’ll brighten their day…people usually live their lives in such an ordinary, routine and mundane fashion that a little spark is always fun….so if you get away with your personality, you’ve made someone’s day more interesting and made yours more fun…it’s a win-win….

Well, that was generally an odd experience to re-read :) Hope you enjoyed that little trip down memory lane and have some fun ideas for what you’d like to do on your next holiday travel flight. Next year I’ll be back with loads more travel and hopefully some great stories to go along with them. Till then, Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever it is you celebrate!

Cheers (and, for the throwback, jsk)! Abhishek