#love Danny with all my heart but let's be real he kind of sucks

[schnuffel-danny]

Sometimes I see the way some people characterize Danny and I wonder if they remember that this kid is a kind of shitty 14 year old gamer boy and he would not fucking say any of that.

[deadbydangit]

...Small reader with Pyramid Head, Ghostface, and Knight? Like the other one you did? 😳

Your writing got me kickin my feet fr 😭🙏

Ha! I'm so glad! Coming right up. I hope you enjoy it.

With a reader who is very small. SFW and NSFW

Pyramid Head, Ghostface, Knight

Pyramid Head

SFW

Canonically, he's the tallest killer in the realm.

So, it's almost guaranteed that he's going to be bigger than you.

He's bigger than everyone.

He makes you look like a child you're so small.

But he absolutely loves that.

He loves hugs.

You can't wrap your arms all the way around him though.

He thinks that's the cutest thing.

He'll struggle to pick small flowers and put them in your hair.

So make sure you make him a flower crown too.

He can cup your whole head in one of his hands.

He can't really kiss you, so this is the next best thing.

Need help getting something?

He'll get it for you.

But he prefers to pick you up so you can get it.

Make sure to kiss his head as a thank you. That's what he's after.

He can lift you up with one arm and set you on one of his shoulders.

Being close to you like that really helps reassure him that you'll be safe.

He can be over protective and has the tendency to smother just a bit.

But it's just him showing you how much he adores his little flower.

NSFW

He's big everywhere.

And, if that isn't already plainly obvious, he'll make sure you know before he does anything.

Since he can't talk, he points to himself, then to you.

You have to be safe before he does anything.

He could seriously hurt you by accident.

As much as he'd like to be on top, he is deathly terrified of doing so.

He's always more focused about pleasing you before himself.

Instead, he'd rather you ride him.

You probably won't be able to take him all in.

But watching you try really gets him going.

You can attempt to suck him off.

But that isn't going to fit in your mouth.

It doesn't even fit in both of your hands.

Watching you sputter and gag on his member really concerns him.

He'd rather you not.

If you let him, he can get rough.

He'll almost split you in two.

But he prefers to keep that side of him in control, so don't tease him too much.

He cums, a lot.

You'll almost be soaked in it.

After, he'll clean you up and carry you everywhere you want to go and get you anything you need.

But after, cuddles are a must.

It isn't his fault you're so small and soft.

Ghostface

SFW

Danny isn't the tallest in the realm.

That doesn't bother him.

His ego is too big for that.

But he's going to tease the ever living shit out of you for being small.

And he is an ass about it.

In the real world, he'd be that dick who grabs you a kids menu and teases you about being small.

"I just figured since you're so small, you wouldn't eat that much."

And he's super self aware about how much of a dick he's being too.

"I wonder where they went? Oh, there you are! I didn't see you all the way down there."

"Oh, sorry. I can't hear you. You're too far away."

You want a hug? Better start climbing then.

Want something? He's going to hold it up higher.

Don't be afraid to tease him about something.

He needs a little push on his inflated ego once in a while.

He does love being able to carry you.

He'll just kind of throw you over his shoulder.

His favorite thing to do is pick you up into hugs and swing you around.

Sometimes a little too roughly.

You can tell him to stop, but he just can't help it.

You're just the cutest little thing.

NSFW

He's an average sized guy.

But watching you, being so small, take him in?

Makes him feel like the biggest.

Real confidence booster.

He's also really big into dirty talk.

"You can fit that whole thing in your mouth? But you're so small. You must've practiced. You dirty little whore."

"Aww, is it too much for you baby? Don't worry, I'm almost halfway in."

Don't take it to heart, he really is teasing. Make sure you give him some of that energy back.

He's rough, but just let him know if he's hurting you and he'll ease back.

He's not dumb, if he hurts you, you two can't have fun anymore.

If you ask, he'll get in between your legs.

"This isn't much of a meal here. I'll have to take seconds. Or maybe thirds."

Seeing you get worked up really fires him.

He likes to see how much of your body he can cover in his cum.

It's like his own personal competition with himself.

You're sleeping on top of him after.

You're like a little teddy bear.

And you're all his.

Knight

SFW

Torhos may be a big person, but he doesn't see the merit in the relevance of size.

Smaller individuals can provide just as much power as larger ones.

It's all about how that power is utilized.

Alejandro isn't that big of a person, but he's still able to wield his abilities.

Durkos showed more aptitude in stealth rather than brute strength.

So you being small doesn't mean a thing to him.

Of course, he doesn't expect you to be able to do the things he and his men are able to do.

You have your own set of skills.

Just don't be over reliant.

Sure, he'll help you reach something.

But don't ask for help all the time.

Independence is important as well.

He finds it humorous that he can just scoop you up and take you anywhere.

He isn't super gentle either.

Right over the shoulder you go.

You can protest all you'd like, but that isn't going to stop him.

It's also his way of showing to others that you're his.

No one would dare mess with Tarhos and his men if they knew what was good for them.

The others like to give you crap too.

But it's just the way they all show how much they care about you.

NSFW

He has to be the top. No exceptions.

But, if you ask nicely and do a good enough job, he'll let you try to top.

But that's very rare.

He's usually on top.

He likes to grab your hair and pull you down to service him.

He'll use the leverage to force you to take him all in.

The struggle you overcome for him lights a fire in him.

And make sure to swallow, don't waste a drop.

As a reward, he'll dive in between your legs, easily keeping them both open with one hand

Since you're small, it doesn't take him long to get you unraveled.

He isn't going to take his sweet time pushing into you.

It's going to hurt a bit, but once he's set his pace, you'll be in heaven.

He prefers to cum inside of you. It's one of his ways of laying claim.

"You took me well. Very good."

After care isn't really a big thing with him.

But he won't be angry that you can't move. Not after what he just did.

He'll get you what you need, but there isn't much cuddling.

However, he will carry you to bed and join you later.

He may not be the most affectionate, but he does care.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.

[boneheat]

Besides the gray ghost angstlist, what was the other fanmix you had for them? Also do you have any headcanons for them?

HEY sorry I took so long to get to this, had a busy weekend and also like, had just started working on another gray ghost mix the day before you sent this?? and was hoping to finish it before i answered?? but it's gonna take some more time to get everything together so!

FIRST OFF my secret is that i am always working on like a billion different gray ghost mixes, because i have a lot of songs for them and a bunch of different configurations for how they could go together! they have a lot going on!! right now the one i almost have done is more focused on the phantom/red huntress dynamic, and the most concrete idea i have for a followup is one specifically about the flirting with disaster moment where they were actually dating

and i do have some headcanons for them (as well as a pretty thorough understanding of how things would develop between them In My Rewrite but that's for another time)! under the cut because this got a little out of hand:

- tbh even when Danny turned his interest to Sam I still think he was really not over Valerie, the fact that Double Cross My Heart opens with him still pining over her and the rest of the episode is meant to convince us he and Sam are the real otp by having them fight the whole time... anyways

- I do think Val still has feelings for Danny at that point as well, she's just better at hiding it and also convinced it's her heroic duty to keep him safe! when Sam and Danny get together she tries dating other people (of any gender bc Val is bi thanks) but finds that none of them seem to get her the way Danny did

- For one they are not nearly as forgiving of her being late or just having to skip dates entirely bc of reasons she can't really explain, whereas Danny was fine with it bc he also did that all the time

- On one of their first dates they go see whatever Blockbuster set in Space is out at the moment and Valerie lets Danny complain about all the inaccuracies on the way home. Val texts Star that she can't hang out bc she's on a date with Danny and Star sends back a screenshot of this

- Valerie is by far the Coolest Person Danny's even been friends with, much less dated. Unless you count when Paulina was being possessed by Kitty, which I do not! Mostly this just means she's significantly less socially awkward than his other friends and follows normie meme accounts and knows tiktok dances

- Meanwhile Danny is by far the least cool person Valerie has ever dated, and she does tease him for being weird sometimes but also thinks it's cute and refreshing and it feels like he just likes her for her, bad parts and all (which really comes into perspective post-reveal)

-this is less a headcanon and more an observation but i think about the part in Flirting With Disaster where Danny tries to convince Sam and Tucker that he and Valerie dating is a good idea and brings up her having a ninth-degree black belt as a PRO like, constantly. The Fentons love women who can fight what can be said

- in fact Danny probably recognizes that if Valerie was the one with the crazy ghost powers and he just had the conventional weaponry he would be a little ectoplasmic goo stain by this point. He certainly does well for himself, but Valerie just has a natural athletic affinity and skill for this kind of thing that he doesn't

- she sucks at video games (in the way people who didn't grow up playing video games do) though, so ha

- i could certainly come up with more (and at multiple points in this i started to ramble about my rewrite timeline and had to cut it back) but this is already so long woops. thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about them though this was fun

[actuallysaiyan]

I really love your writing! Can you maybe do something smutty and wild with Danny Elfman after an Oingo Boingo concert? Haha Thank you!!

Word count: 1,234 Pairings: Danny Elfman x Reader Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex Summary: Reader is a journalist who’s going backstage to get an interview with Danny Elfman after an Oingo Boingo concert. They don’t realize how wild it’s about to get.

You flashed your press badge to the security guard, and with a scary grin, he let you into the backstage area. Most of the band members were standing around the room, doing various things. A few groupies were trying to flirt with whoever they could. You felt very out of place, and you weren’t sure you knew how to approach the situation.

That’s when the man in question appeared. He flashed you a wicked grin, and you could feel your knees weaken. It was Danny Elfman, the person you were supposed to be interviewing for your magazine. He seemed so much more intimidating in real life than in the music videos. 

He walked up to you, that same grin on his face making your heart beat faster. You could feel your throat dry up as he got closer and closer. Finally, he was standing right in front of you. You weren’t sure what to say, but you knew you needed to say something.

“Hi there, what’s your name?” Danny asked and you blushed.

You blurt out your name before clearing your throat. You needed to explain yourself.

“I’m here from Louder Than Words magazine for an interview. I think my secretary, Harry, called your manager to set this up.” The rest of the band eyes you as you explain yourself, and you can feel the blood rushing in your cheeks.

“Right, I remember now. Come over here, let’s get a little privacy.” Danny said as he motioned towards a closed off room in the back. You followed him nervously, hoping this will go well.

You had been working hard at making sure your magazine wasn’t going to flop in the last few months, and you spent a lot of it chasing down all kinds of new artists and new bands. This was the final interview your business partner had asked of you. You really needed this one to go off well so you could sell lots of copies.

Inside the room, you noticed there was a small leather couch, a few bits of musical equipment, a mini fridge and a table with some chairs accompanying it. You sat down at the table, placing your bag on the table. Danny sat facing you, that wicked grin never leaving his face. He seemed like he was some sort of mischievous impish creature and you weren’t sure if you liked it, or you were completely intimidated by him.

“So, let’s start this interview.”

You spend the next forty-five minutes asking Danny a number of questions, also reminding yourself to go around the room and ask the other band members a few other questions you had reserved for them. Once the interview began, Danny almost changed into a completely different person. He was well spoken and very intelligent. He clearly enjoyed his art and was very passionate about composing music. As time went on, you found yourself starting to crush on him. You hopelessly loved the way he was a sexual being as well as someone who was very intelligent and creative. Not to mention, he was devilishly handsome.

“I think that’s about it, Mr. Elfman. Thank you for your time.” You explained, getting up from your seat. Danny followed suit.

“Already done? I thought these things took longer than that.” Danny mused. He raised an eyebrow at you, moving in closer. You could feel his warm breath on your cheek, and you couldn’t help but look into his eyes.

You found it very hard to find the want to leave the room, so you allowed yourself to be charmed by the man even more so than you had before even meeting him. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in for a wild and sloppy kiss, which wasn’t unpleasant whatsoever. You felt your knees grow weak once more, but you did everything you could to keep yourself standing.

When you pulled away, Danny grinned at you. You smiled and leaned in to kiss him again, this time you felt yourself grow very wet. Danny pushed you up against the wall, looking into your eyes to make sure you were alright with what was happening.

“I’m fine. Please,” you whined, letting him know that you weren’t against this.

He slid his knee between your legs as he began kissing you again, this time his tongue sliding into your mouth. He tasted like beer, and his tongue was soft and made you aroused. Your hands buried themselves in his hair as his lips traveled down towards your neck. Danny began nipping at your neck, leaving soft bites and kisses.

“Let’s take this to the couch.” He suggested, bringing you over to the leather sofa.

Your back hit the sofa and suddenly, Danny was on top of you. His lips kissed you anywhere he could, and his hands moved up your shirt. His hands caressed your round breasts, drawing whines out from you. You could hear your throaty moans and they were surprising you. Usually, you stayed very professional with all the artists, but this time you couldn’t hold back.

Danny removed your shirt and pulled down your bra. His lips went straight for your nipples, sucking and licking. You arched your back, hoping to get more of that delicious feeling. As your hips began grinding against him, you could feel his erection in his jeans grow. Danny groaned as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer to your body.

Within minutes, your make=out session went from kissing and groping to the both of you completely nude and panting. Danny grinned down at you, his fingers dipping into your wet cunt. You mewled as he rubbed your juices all over, lubricating you. His hard cock pulsed and leaked precum as he coated it in your juices.

“Ready?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You nodded, unable to even form words properly at this point.

Danny chuckled darkly, entering you roughly. You groan and grip the couch as your walls stretched around him. He pants softly as he begins a rough and fast pace, knowing he’s not going to have all the time in the world to fuck your properly like he wants to.

His name falls from your lips as he rutted into you with reckless abandon, causing you to become wetter. Your juices leak out of your cunt as you thrust against him, feeling your walls clench around him. Danny’s fingers came down to rub your clit, providing you with even more pleasure. The coil in your stomach began to tighten and you could feel your legs begin to shake as Danny kept fucking you hard.

You felt your toes curl as your vision blurred, your orgasm wracking through your body hard as Danny fucked you harder. Your legs began shaking as he quickly pulled out, cumming all over your tits. You panted as Danny smirked at the sight of you covered in his cum.

He slumped down on top of you, careful not to crush you. You both shared a final kiss before he got up to get you something to clean up with. For a moment, you realize how lucky you were.

Before you leave, you were able to get the answers from the other band members, and also you got Danny’s personal phone number. You couldn’t believe how this turned into a sexy affair, and you hoped it wouldn’t end here.

[yikesharringrove]

What if Billy did l leave to Cali and moved in with his old friend, the guy who was kind of his boyfriend before Neil dragged him to Hawkins. After couple of years of him living there, they would go out to a bar with Billy’s old friends and him and the guy would kinda have this fwb thing going on. But then, Billy sees Steve. The guy he had a crush on before he decided he wasn’t good enough for him and left after a night where he had finally fucked Steve senseless —

Pt. 2. Billy would be shocked to see him and before he realizes, Steve’s already coming towards their table. He has came with one of Billy’s friends, Steve being that guys date. There would be some confusion and jealousy from both of them, but they would still end up fucking after the night. (lmao i’m sorry that this is long)

-

This is from forever ago, I’m sorry it took me a thousand years.

It doesn’t actually have smut, bc where I went with it, it just didn’t feel like it fit, I’m sorry about that.

-

“Billy, we haven’t gone out in like, a month.” Billy rolled his eyes.

“We went out last weekend, you little baby.” He pushed at Danny’s face. “Git outta here you monster, and maybe I’ll consider meeting you there.”

“Kyle is bringing that guy he’s been dating.”

“And?”

“I was talking to Andie, and she said he’s totally not Kyle’s type. Apparently he’s like, super femme.” Kyle was known for going for absolute macho douchebags. “So we’ll get to meet him, and totally make fun of Kyle for whatever he’s tryna do, changin’ everything up like this.”

Billy threw his head back, groaning at the ceiling.

“Fucking fine. But if he’s an asshole, like Kyle’s guys always fucking are, I’m leaving.”

-

They met the rest of the gang at the bar, pushing through the small crowd to reach the large table they had claimed. Billy greeted his friends, elbowing Kyle a few times and asking where his new honey is.

“He’s getting us drinks, lay off.” Kyle shoved Billy away, made him bark a laugh. he turned around, was going to head for the bar, but stopped in his fucking tracks.

Steve fucking Harrington was making his way towards him, a drink in each hand.

He hadn’t seen Steve since the night he left Hawkins four years ago.

They had been moving towards something for months, had finally fell into one another, having a night of the most tender sex Billy has ever had in his entire fucking life. Steve had looked at him with those big perfect eyes, and had told Billy he loved him.

Billy left when Steve fell asleep, packed up his car and didn’t stop driving until he reached the Pacific.

Steve spotted him, stopping in his tracks, glaring at Billy. He stomped forward, pushing a drink into Kyle’s hand.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Everyone turned to look at Steve when he spat that at Billy.

“Meeting my friends. Why are you here, Harrington?” Steve gestured lamely at Kyle.

“You two know each other?” Kyle looked at Billy with wide eyes.

“Yeah. Remember when I lived in that shitty hick town for two years? Steve is from there.” Steve looked livid. “Good for you for getting out, Pretty Boy.”

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that, right, Hargrove?” Everyone was watching with wide eyes as the two went back and forth, heads turning like they were watching a tennis match.

“What the fuck did I do?” Steve’s eyes seemed to crackle.

“You know what the fuck you did. You couldn’t’ve even bothered to say goodbye? Had to run away like that?”

“Wait, did you two fuck?” They both ignored Danny.

“I had to get out, Harrington. You don’t know shit about me.” Steve’s eyes narrowed. Billy admired the pretty eyeshadow on them.

“Max told me everything. I knew it all. You’re just a fucking coward that couldn’t take the fact you felt the same way.” Everybody had lost the conversation, couldn’t derive enough from the fight to figure out exactly what had happened between these two.

“I was saving you from yourself, Pretty Boy. I was always gonna leave. Better right away than let you get your hopes up.” Steve stamped his foot.

“My fucking hero.” He picked up one of the drinks he had brought, chugging it down before slamming the glass back onto the table, grabbing Kyle’s hand. “We’re dancing.” He turned to Billy. “Don’t fucking talk to me tonight.”

They disappeared back into the crowd. Billy made his way to the bar, downing two shots right after the other.

“You used to date him, or something?” Billy shook his head, not looking at Danny.

“Nah. I fucked him once and he told me he loved me. I packed up and left the next day.”

“Wait, you only fucked once and he said that?” Billy slammed another shot.

“We were friends, I guess. He had a thing for me, and I just wanted some ass.” That was a complete lie, but Danny didn’t need to know the sweet warmth that had settled in Billy’s gut when Steve said he loved him, how badly he wanted to say it back, how he had gotten scared and made the stupidest decision he had ever made.

“And then you left without saying goodbye?” Billy nodded. “That’s kinda fucked up.” Billy just stared at him.

“What?”

“You knew the guy was into you, and you just dicked him and ditched him without saying goodbye. That’s fucked, Billy.”

“I don’t need this from you. You do not understand what that fucking town was like for me.”

“No, I understand perfectly. You’re a bigger asshole than I thought.” Danny shook his head. Heading back to the table. Billy downed two more shots.

-

His head was fuzzy as he stumbled into the alleyway for some fresh air.

He tried a few times to light a cigarette when he heard a quiet sniffle.

He turned to see Steve leaning against a wall further down the alley.

“You okay?” Steve stiffened.

“What’s it matter to you?” Billy shrugged.

“If Kyle tried anything-”

“Oh, shut up. He dumped me because of you.” Billy took a few unbalanced steps towards him.

“‘Do you mean?”

“He asked about what happened, and I told him. How you led me on for over a year, how you would let me open up to you, let me cry and feel insecure and would tell me that I was enough the way I am, how you fucked me and ran away the next day, didn’t even bother to call or even write for four years.” Steve had silvery tears running down his cheeks now, illuminated by the streetlights. “How I waited for you, like a fucking idiot before letting myself move on.” He wiped his eyes. “God, I told myself I was done crying over you.”

“Steve, I didn’t mean to-”

“Doesn’t matter. You still did it.” Billy’s heart sank. Steve looked fucking broken in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run like I did. Especially, especially because you’re right. I was scared of how much I felt for you. Scared that if I let myself love you, I would’ve stayed in Hawkins forever. Would’ve never gotten out from under my dad’s thumb.”

“Bill,” Billy’s heart fluttered at the way Steve’s voice sounded when he said his name like that, was immediately transported to late nights sitting in his car overlooking the quarry. “I would’ve left with you. I didn’t like it there, either. I would’ve left with you.”

“I was an idiot. Still am sometimes. But I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess. You deserve a lot better than me.” Steve took a shaky breath.

“Y’know, it still sucks. After all these years of telling myself I hate you for what you did, standing here with you, I still-I mean I could never hate you.”

“You wanna come back to my place? Nothing implied, just to talk. Catch up.” Steve chewed on his bottom lip. His lipstick was a pretty deep red.

“Sure. We can, we can catch up.”

Billy led him the few blocks back to his two-bedroom he shares with Danny. He grabbed them each a beer while Steve studied the pictures tacked to the walls.

“Are you two together?” He pointed tot the picture, one of many, of Billy and Danny at the beach, arms around one another.

“Nah. We live together, and we fuck sometimes, but neither of us would be good in a relationship together.” Steve just nodded. “You date much?”

“Not back in Hawkins. I spent about a year there after you left. Robin graduated and moved out here, and I moved into a shitty apartment in Hawkins until she finished her first year and moved out of the dorms. I live with her now. She’s helped me embrace myself more.”

Billy remembers a night when he and Steve got drunk in Steve’s bedroom, how he’d found some dresses in Steve’s closet, the way he’d broken down and cried and said that he just liked to feel pretty, that sometimes he didn’t even feel like a boy.

Billy had held him all night. Bought him some makeup from the drugstore the next day. Probably shitty stuff, but Steve had looked at it like it was made of gold.

“I’m happy for you. I’m glad you get to be yourself here.” Steve sat down next to him on the ratty couch, leaving a solid two feet of space between them.

“You seem a lot happier out here. Like, you just seem lighter.”

“I am so much happier here.” Steve’s smile was tight, a little bitter. “I just mean, without my dad here, I’ve been going to therapy, and I have this support group for queer abuse survivors, and I’m just not angry all the fucking time like I used to be.”

“I’m proud of you.”

Billy had forgotten.

He’d forgotten that Steve had this lovely way of saying something simple and making it the best thing that’s Billy’s ever heard. Making billy realize he’d never heard that simple thing said to him before.

He didn’t even think.

Just leaned across the space and kissed Steve.

he pushed him away.

“Billy, I won’t let you do this again. It took me years to get over what you did. You can’t just kiss me and think it’s all okay.”

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Steve shook his head, went to get up off the couch. Billy grabbed his wrist. “You know, I wanted to say it back that night.”

“Don’t say that.” Steve’s voice was small.

“I did. I felt that same. But I got fucking scared. And I left and I shouldn’t have.”

“Yes, you should have. We just established that you’re doing better here!”

“But I could’ve held out a little longer, long enough that you could’ve come with me.” Steve finally turned to look at him.

“Billy, you did what you had to do. I forgave you a long time ago. When I first saw you tonight I was just, it made me remember the hurt.”

“I know I hurt you. And I’m so fucking sorry.” Steve blinked at him.

“You get one chance. One more chance. Do it for real. Take me out on a date. I want the whole nine. Pick me up, tell me I’m pretty, take me somewhere inexpensive but nice, hold my hand, kiss me on my doorstep, all of it.” Billy just nodded.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do anything. Whatever you want.”

Steve smiled at him, turning over his hand to hold Billy’s.

“Then pick me up tomorrow at six. Don’t be late.”

[hedgefairy]

Okay, I know, I know, it's already old news, everybody and their uncle in the costuming community has already talked it over, but anyhoo, I made notes when I crawled my way through effing Bridgerton and I will be damned if I don't vomit them onto this site. I have 32 pages of this shit, I'm not gonna throw that away.

I'm also typing this on my phone because I'm stuck on a trainride that's just doubled in length because this is the 2021 Northern German snow storm. What, there's snowflakes on the rails? We cannot possibly keep up our schedule, say goodbye to 90% of the connections.

Okay, on to Bridgerton, Episode 1

We're in Britain (oh, London, okay), allegedly 1813. I see people who are clearly meant to be asympatico, but is this size incusivity I spot there? Daring! Gasp! Me li...

Oh wait, no. The character is promptly shamed for her figure (which is mostly caused by the horrible cut of her dress. Every size can look great in Regency garb, but never mind, we need to make the "fat one" look bad!).

Also, no shifts under the stays. Why. There was obviously enough budget, don't tell me you couldn't afford a few strappy tops - it's not like the rest is historically accurate, so it would have sufficed to send some poor underpaid intern to H&M and get some. Nvm, that wouldn't be sexay.

Wait, is the garishly dressed (always a sign of a character of bad character in a costume drama) woman Delphine from Selfridge? Does she always have to play bitches? That's not nice, and just because she has a recognisable face, which by modern (read: americanised) standards is not favourable enough. Ugh. But I like the actress, so I'll let it slide (for now).

Lol, buttocks.

Not sure about the girls' dresses. Also, the Queen is a WOC, cool!

Oh no, one of the Featherington sisters faints! But that's okay because the Featheringtons are just comic relief and foil anyway.

I get weird incest vibes from the Bridgertons.

So the court is clearly 18th century and the show is set in the 1810s. I've by now seen several explanations for this decision, I still think it robs the Queen of reproductions of her actual historical gowns which were heavily inspired by the 18th century but so. Magnificently. Weird. It would have been so neat, and more of a "hey, I'm kinda out of touch with things" vibe, but hey, I'm not the one getting paid for making those taffeta gowns here (her hair is glorious, tho).

I'm very into the intro.

That Regency gossip girl is a real b, not unlike the Dowager Countess of Downton (unpopular opinion, I think she's pretty overrated, yes, I like Maggie Smith).

Again, no shifts.

Where do I know the "pragmatic" Bridgerton sister from? Ah, it's The Paradise. And Jonathan Strange. (Wait, she's my age. And she's supposed to be a teenager. Man, do I love a good Dawson casting. I like the actress, though, she has a face ™!).

Aaaah. We get it. She's the spirited one. She also doesn't care about dresses because she's not like other girls™. I really like her voice (but she still doesn't sound like a teenager).

The heck is up with Lady F's dress and that of her friend? Oh, yeah. Antagonist fashion.

Of course the Featheringtons are Horrid Hags™ aside from Penny who's nice, but the pudgy one (at least we don't get a case of "she's not conventionally attractive so she's bad").

Oooh, the cousin! Supposed to suck, but ofc she's a stunner, and only Penny (who's the nice one, remember!) is delighted to have her around. She's also a POC, which is nice but apparently that means she does not follow fashion, hair-wise. I would have loved to see some Regency hair on her, it would have been so pretty *cries in Greek updo*

Ugh, we're still in Ep. 1, typing this on my phone was a bad idea.

Lady Danbury and the Duke guy are delightful with each other (more POC! So neat!).

The girl the oldest Bridgerbro screws is apparently a singer, which isn't up to status for his doucheship, and she doesn't wear a shift.

The music at the ball sounds like something from the Top 40s, but I'm woefully ignorant of contemporary music charts so I can't tell what it is. I like it when they do that in historical-ish works, making well-known pop or rock stuff work for the ambience (ugh, that dance scene to Golden Years in Knight's Tale. My heart. In a good way.)

I dig the Ducktail hair of Penny's crush. Oh, wait, that's a Bridgerbro. I don't quite get why the hair trends of the time don't apply to the POC characters or extras, but seeing how most white characters also show a shameful disregard for the weirdnes and gloriosity (that's not a word) that is early 1800s hair (the 1830s take the cake, tho) despite those hairdos being basically designed for white people hair, I don't think I care much (well, I do, but about all of them). Overall the hair is horrid and not very 1810s. Let's just leave it at that.

Like a good old romance novel (I've since been told that Bridgerton is supposed to be a pastiche of such novels, but I really couldn't tell from the series, not at all, and I'm not inclined to read the books) we have

a pretty, kind, superpure daughter of the main family

the mean matriarch (could have been an aunt, too, but here she's the mum) of the rivalling or antagonist family

a spirited daughter of the main family (in most romance novels this would be our heroine but so far she refreshingly lacks a love interest and pretty daughter seems to get the most screen time)

a Horrid Suitor™

a Hot Suitor™ who doesn't want attention

a really good and doting good parent

Lol, misheard Greece for Grease with Ducktail Bridgerbro, whose name is Colin, apparently. This is funny because of his Danny Zuko memorial hair.

Overall a bit too much bling for my taste, and too few pearls. It looks like an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen with a Regency theme.

Of course the romance is going to be the Pretty One aka. Daphne and the Duke and he's even bros with her eldest bro. Wait, are they exes? I can haz bi? No? Aww, shucks. Maybe in another episode (spoiler: no).

Okay, WHAT is it with Lady F's dresses and hair. Like, she reminds me of Mars Attacks. Which, as you might remember, was not set in the Regency period.

Lord B (Bridgerbro the Eldest) sucks, he's screwing Opera Girl without any intention of marrying her but he's bitchy about his sister being ogled by his Eton (or wherever) bestie?

Oh, I'm in Hamburg now. And my train back home got canceled, so back to Berlin it is because there's not a single option to get to Hanover tonight, at least that's what the lady from the train station is saying, "oh well, you'll have to go back and try again tomorrow", so that's awesome...

Honestly, if it weren't so late and I didn't have things to do at home I'd find this terribly exciting.

Back to Bridgerton!

Where were we? Ah.

I can't even read my own annotation. Something about George III. I think I was upset about how they totally ignored that it's called Regency because George IV acted as the regent king, and he doesn't even feature in the series, I guess because they wanted to play up the Queen? Not a fan, because thanks to Horrible Histories I'm quite fond of that guy.

Again, no shifts.

Oh, look, it's Horrid Suitor™, destined for leftovers.

The Featherington cousin gets all the attention but no fleshed-out character.

Penny Featherington's dog is named Lord Byron, which ❤️

I like the Duke! He's there, drinking in his club (even though they're a patriarchal remnant of the past I have a weird appreciation for stuffy Gentlemen's Clubs, I blame Bertie Wooster and the Drones), calling Lord B out for his general fuckery.

Oh no, Ducktail Colin is more into the Cousin than Penny, who obviously pines for him!

Thank you, Lord B, for enabling Horrid Suitor™. Nobody asked you to be such a fucktwit.

The Queen is, of course, a bit of a bitch, but patronage from cool Lady *scrolls up for name* Danbury ensues for Protagonist Girl™ Daphne.

"I wish they had found a better trend language", what the heck did I even mean by that? That's what you get for just scribbling down notes while watching and simultaneously sewing. 18th century pants, in case you wanted to know.

Cousin is angry, probably because Lady F behaves like Cinderella's evil stepmother, because Cousin is prettier than her daughters and gets, like, all the suitors because Lord B bitched away everyone who wanted to get into Daphne's dowry ifyouknowwhatImeanwinkwinknudgenudge, right across the street into Cousins parlour.

The Bridgertons are annoyingly perfect. Ugh.

Oh look, it's "banter" between Daphne and Dukey! It's so Pride & Prejudice! It's almost a tiny bit Shakespeare! I put banter in parentheses because wow, nope, I'm not getting any chemistry here.

Uh, Lady B calls out Lord B (aka. her son aka. Bridgerbro the Eldest) for his screwery with Opera Girl and his outpimpery of his sister to Horrid Suitor™, buuuurrrrrnnn. He promptly calls of his affair with Opera Girl.

No shifts!

Penny gets to dance with Ducktail Colin at the thing! Good for her, but it's a country dance with jumping and fun, because she's a) the pudgy character and b) a Featherington, so it can't be something romantic and pretty (I personally like country dances, but they aren't protagonist dances).

Oooh, Cousin had her period, oh no, oh snap, oh she didn't, because she's PREGNANT! Shit, that's problematic, and not because she's an unmarried woman in the 1810s, but because she gets close to no lines at all so far, and suddenly she's pregnant and telling Lady F that she sucks for being privileged, violence ensues, this is ugly. Man, I get what some critics mean by "the POC actors*actresses get all the problems" and that not exactly being great.

Horrid Suitor™ makes property claims about Daphne, eeewwwww, thanks to Lord B's general suckiness, ewww, r@pe attempt ensues, was that really necessary? It doesn't really fit in with the rest of the series and generally nope, yay, broken nose! (which was indeed totally necessary). Nice one, and probably the only scene so far (spoiler: overall) in which I actually like Daphne. Dukey thinks a mean left hook is attractive, and, generally speaking, he's not wrong.

Daphne and Dukey come up with a pseudo-shakespearean plot to pretend to be totally into each other so she can attract suitors by being not available and he gets not to have fangirls by being not available, and as someone who has read a few too many historical-ish bodice rippers I know exactly where this is going. I mean, come on.

I can't see enough of the following choreography to complain about it. Man, I miss historical dance classes.

And that concludes Ep. 1! Finally! Thank you for getting this far, sorry for all of it (especially typos, it's the bane of unwanted autocorrect), I guess?

Update on the train situation: I've been told by the ticket control person that I shouldn't get my hopes up until noon tomorrow.

To be continued,

because I didn't take these 32 pages of notes for nothing.

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Day 29: Light + Week Orb/Reanimate - Exorcists Can’t Save Me Now Chap.2:  Dolly Hearts

You know what’s happening here, but with a bonus of the creepy possessed doll trope.

Tucker sits on the floor, leaning his back against the doll, “I know this is some crazy cool stuff dude, but somehow I doubt Other-Danny can really appreciate this”.

Danny just rolls his eyes, he still does get a bit of a kick out of the nickname they gave It being ‘Other-Danny’; thank you Coraline and Sam’s love of Tim Burton. Least she wasn’t still trying to give It button eyes, though Danny’s got no idea where all the buttons kept disappearing to. He’s honestly genuinely suspiciously Dammy ate them or absorbed them or something. Magic was weird. Probably bugged his parents that he believed the whole ‘magic doll’ thing over the ‘ghosts are real’ thing. But Dammy literally grew and stuff, kinda hard to ignore that. He has yet to see a freaking ghost.

Sam shakes her old school camera, “just get over here you goof, time to look stupid for the camera”. Danny sticks his tongue out at her before posing. Which yeah, probably looks stupid.

Tucker watches Danny walk in the giant creation with a small smile, all this tech stuff was so cool! Though glancing sideways at feeling movement and feeling just slightly unnerved by Dammy actually moving Its head to be ‘looking’ right at the portal. Alright. That’s freaky. “Uh, Danny-dude? Other you is doin’ that paying attention to you thing”, wasn’t that supposed to be some death omen thingy?

Danny turns his head, “huh?”, genuinely feeling cautious but not getting to do shit about that at the sound of a click and static. Snapping his head back towards the back of the portal and seeing the green light there, “oh fu-”.

Tucker jerks to stand up, Sam hovering worriedly by the portal as a massive beam of green light flashes out of the thing. Both immediately clamping their hands over their ears at the sound of screaming. Dammy is also making some kind of static noise, somehow staying sitting upright. That was freaky enough to give them something other than the god awful sound to focus on.

Sam still manages to catch Danny? or what she thinks is him, when he? falls out. Tucker also moving to grasp the person-shaped black and white static, “D-Danny man?”. Both teens wincing at the sound? he? makes.

“We can’t, oh god, can’t understa-”, Tucker getting cut off by Dammy sparking all over with green electricity and shooting bolts of lightning at the static Danny. Both Sam and Tucker yelping and jumping back, having gotten zapped themselves in the process; electricity jumping over their fingers and forearms.

The two wince and rub at their fingers before watching more than a little wide-eyed at the electricity stuff jumping all over static Danny and looking as if it was tugging at him or something. Tucker blurting out, “I don’t know how aware you are dude! But I think Dammy’s trying to pull you in or something!”.

Sam looks to him, “do you, fuck, do you think he’s even aware what’s going on?”.

“Sam, I don’t even know what the Hell’s going on! And I’m pretty sure Danny just got fried to a crisp, so what the Hell do you think!”.

“Oh don’t you snap at me! I was just asking a damn question!”.

“My best friend probably just died! So I think I’m allowed to snap at whoever the Hell I want!”.

“Like Hell you are!”.

“Shut up!”.

“No!”, Sam doesn’t get to say more than that as static Danny seemingly snaps into Dammy. The two friends watching green rays of almost blinding light shoot out of the ‘eyes’ before dimming into two little green orbs of light inside the pitch black of the eye sockets and move around a bit before the doll lurches forward, grasps Its stomach, and the stitched line opens up like a mouth to immediately vomit up chunks of cotton and herbs. Sam blinks, “oh man, we so need to get the Fenton’s”. Tucker just nods slowly, as they both gulp and move closer to the doll.

Tucker putting a hand on It/his back, “Danny?”. The doll hacks a bunch, more bits of mess coming out, and nods faintly. So Tucker pats his back, “alright, okay”, looking to the side and whispering, “holy fucking shit”, glancing at Sam then back to Danny, “just get it all out of... your system, man”.

Danny makes a sound that’s kinda like someone rubbing two marshmallows together. Tucker swallows, “still can’t understand you, man”. While Sam comes around the other side and gives him a soothing arm rub, “do you think you can move?”. Oh Hell, they messed up bad.

They watch as he very jerkily puts a hand to the ground, moving to help him stand; which he’s also jerky and stiff about. Danny makes more of the marshmallow sounds as he leans against Tucker. Though Tucker’s positive Danny was saying something along the lines of ‘thanks’. Tucker’s just trying to not be freaked out by the soft plushie feel of Danny’s body. Sure he was used to Dammy being around, but that was just Danny’s kinda weird doll thing. Now It wasn’t just a doll thing. Was there even a Dammy anymore? Man this was so messed up.

The two friends watch and steady Danny as he cranes his? head around in a way that was closer to limp lolling. Them both feeling him stiffening when he catches his reflection in the far side mirror. Sam and Tucker following his line of sight, staring at the vibrate green glowing orbs reflecting off harsh enough to practically blackout the rest of the mirror. Both of them wincing at more marshmallow sounds, though it sounds more ‘alarmed’ this time.

Tucker gives him a small squeezes on the shoulder, “for the love of everything, please be able to learn to talk like a freaking person again”. Sam smacks him for that. But Danny makes something like a velcro sound that sounds close enough to a laugh.

Sam looks to him, more than a little thankful she’s well used to seeing the lipless hollow-socketed face, even if the green light ball things were unnerving, “do you want me to get your folks”, nodding her head at Tucker, “this idiot will probably raid the fridge instead”.

Danny doesn’t move for a bit before nodding slowly, making more marshmallow noises and stiffly grabbing his throat with one hand.

Tucker pushes Danny to sit down as Sam bolts up the stairs, Danny repeatedly making more noises while squeezing and poking his throat. Tucker grabbing his shoulder, making him jerkily look to him, before pulling him in and hugging him close, “you-fuck, you don’t know how bloody happy I am for Dammy right now. That you had, have, I don’t know, Other-Danny”, squeezing him a bit more, “fuck Danny”, wheezing a chuckle out, “so, I guess ghosts exist huh?”. Not surprised to get marshmallow in return, the tone’s softer and maybe worried? though so he pats him on the back and let’s go; wiping his face a bit with his arm as he goes.

Both turn their heads to the side at Maddie practically bolting down the stairs, Sam right behind. “You kids aren’t supposed to be down here unsupervised, you know this”.

Tucker stands up immediately, holding his palms out pacifyingly, “we know we know, it’s just the tech’s so cool and things weren’t working and we do know some lab safety and-”. Cutting himself off as Danny jerkily stands and wavers badly, Tucker moving to steady him.

Maddie blinks and stares at the moving doll, slowly looking progressively more horrified, “Danny?”.

The thread that makes up Its mouth moves up into a wobbly-looking nervous smile. The doll nods a little. She staggers over, grabbing Its-his? arm and pulling his? hand into hers. Staring at the skin-like fabric, the nailless fingers, the threads and seams, “oh Danny, what did you do”, and hugging him. Hugging the doll that housed him. He makes gurgling fuzzy sounds. Maddie letting go and stepping back a little to steady herself and give him some room, while Tucker gives a weak smile and nudges the doll's shoulder, “hey, that was closer to words this time”.

Danny looks to him and makes some sounds while doing something that vaguely resembles a scowl. Then looking to Sam as she walks over and hugs him too, “you’re such an idiot”.

“ɥ͜͜͝ɐ̡̡̨͘ǝ̸̷̧̨̢⅄̵͝”.

All three wince, Sam and Tucker moving to cover their ears a little. Tucker grumbling, “I’d prefer the fuzz and marshmallows over that”. Danny winces and practically smacks himself in the face while going to cover his ‘mouth’ with his hand.

Maddie whispers, “that was ghost speak”, shaking her head and moving to touch his throat gently, swallowing, “your.. dolls muscles and voice box is made of cotton and sugar string, you’ll have to learn how to use them”. Looking to her son's friends and noticing the odd burns on their fingertips, “what happened to your fingers?”, which instantly gets Danny’s attention too.

Tucker looks at his fingers, at least it didn’t hurt, and looks back to her, “oh uh, we were kinda close to Danny when Dammy went all crazy light show and, like, sucked Danny in with lightning or something”. Maddie looks to Danny curiously. Danny just starts doing something akin to flailing and looking back and forth from his friends, gargling a bunch.

“Hey woah man, it’s not your fault. Heck! You didn’t even do it! And Dammy just did what It was literally designed to do“.

Sam nods and squeezes his arm, “yeah, I’m just glad you’re in this thing”.

Maddie looks around, noticing the mess on the ground and blinking, “did... did you throw up?”. Danny nods and looks to be trying to quirk an eyebrow but it’s not really working. But that... that wasn’t supposed to happen. So why? The only thing she can think of is that his friends might have interfered with something.

Tucker and Sam frown when Maddie rushes off to her computer systems, Sam snapping, “is that bad? Is Dammy not functioning right? It’s not rejecting Danny or something is It?”. Tucker just nods worriedly. Danny points at his friends then smacks a palm into his chest, his chest felt weird; especially if he was supposed to be a ghost... dead.

Maddie nabs up a scanner and rushes back to Danny’s doll, putting it to his ‘eyes’, “sorry sweetie, your eyes are the only part of your... ghost that’s accessible”.

Tucker blinks, “wait, those glowy light ball things are actually eyes”. Danny grunts, probably something along the lines of saying ‘obviously’ or maybe being offended.

“Well technically it’s a culmination of ectoplasm but a ghosts eyes always have the highest concentration outside of their Cores. So eyes yes, but also no”, shaking her head and pulling the scanner back. Blinking down, a bit dumbfounded, at the results, “you... Danny, you’re... still human”.

Sam and Tucker both immediately blurt, “WHAT!”, and Danny makes a high-pitched grating sound, then taps at the left of his chest.

Maddie squints but moves to put her hand over the spot, going a little slacked jawed, “there... you have a heartbeat”. Danny nods rapidly but stiffly. Maddie shakes herself off and looks down to the scanner while Sam and Tucker both grapple over his chest, obviously wanting to make sure for themselves.

Maddie looks from the reading to the two teens and back again. Those two, they always were her boy’s miracle friends. The only ones unphased by his oddness and accepting of the doll. Who would all go to weird lengths to help and protect and support each other; apparently more so than she ever thought even possible. Once again looking to the teens, “you two, it’s because of you two”.

The two look to her in obvious confusion.

“What do you mean by that?”.

“Huh? But we didn’t really... do anything”.

Maddie shakes her head, turning the device around to face them, “when you got zapped. The ecto-electricity picked up bits of your DNA and took it with it. Human DNA”.

Danny looks back and forth between his two friends, looking a bit like he’s gonna cry, not that he actually can though, and hugs both of them around the neck; pulling them into him. His arms bend in a circle rather than at the elbow though Sam and Tucker don’t really care and smile up against his doll cheeks, but pause, turning their heads towards Maddie, “wait, does that mean we’re related now?!?”.

Maddie lets herself smile almost meanly at that, though with a level of relief underneath, “just a little bit”. Danny makes a tearing sound not unlike Velcro, the two other teens rolling there eyes as he lets go of their necks; arms falling to his sides with soft thwaps.

Maddie tears her eyes away, this, Danny being fabric and the ecto-energy contained inside that bled out the eye sockets, was going to take some getting used to. Her looking over their machinery and glancing back at the cotton pile on the ground. He had a heartbeat so maybe... Moving to set up one of their body scanners while Danny makes some kind of puff sounds.

Sam and Tucker couldn’t care less what Mrs. Fenton was up to, far more focused on trying to help Danny with the whole ‘walking on legs that don’t have bones or fleshy muscles’ thing. As they sort of guide him to walk around, all three watching the legs wobble and bend at odd angles; he does seem to be getting better pretty quickly though, even if he seems annoyed.

Tucker chuckles after a bit, deciding making light of this crap was the best idea and the one his goddamn sticking to, “you know, I always wanted a little brother”, and looks down at him slightly emphasising his slightly taller height. Danny, predictably, shoves him.

Sam rolls her eyes, “don’t expect to get any of Nana’s inheritance though”. Danny and Tucker exchange confused looks, though it’s kinda hard to tell on Danny. Tucker asking with Danny pointing at him, “huh?”.

Sam grumbles, “forget it, doesn’t mean anything”. And once more getting blocked from saying anything more by Maddie.

“Alright, So I think I might have an idea why and how you threw up”. Which gets all three teens' attention, hoping that something really wasn’t wrong with the doll. Both friends stepping to the side a bit to let her use the invention, whatever it was. Watching it shoot out a wide beam of light and move over the doll's entire body. Danny tilting his head at a little too sharp of an angle after; the unblinking orbs making the effect seem wide-eyed and both more child-like and a little creepy.

Maddie blinks at the result, even more dumbfounded but also happy, ridiculously happy. Looking back to Danny and not being able to help smiling some; ignoring the totally unnatural head tilt, “my guess was right”, turning the screen to the teens, “you threw up to make room for organs. Heart, lungs, stomach; it’s all there”.

Sam sounds more than a little morbidly curious, “so there are fleshy bloody organs in there? How in the?”, looking to Danny, “glad you still have that stuff though”.

Tucker chimes in with, “especially a stomach! How else are we supposed to have burger eating contests?”. Sam scowls at him, but is honestly glad for the normalcy.

Maddie tilts her head a little and frowns slightly, “no they’re probably made of sugar, fondant, and maybe some blood cells. Some of the dolls spices too maybe. Cotton for lungs? The density is right”. She would like to actually know but... no, not happening. Stuffing the completed doll and stitching It shut when they made It had been unpleasant enough. And Danny probably wouldn’t enjoy that.

Tucker grabs and bends the doll's arm in a circle, “and his bones?”. Danny grunting at him for that and yanking his arm away, guy could have at least asked before treating him like a twist tie; though yeah, what the Hell.

Maddie glances back to the device's screen, “I think there’s sugar string trying to be bones”, looking back to Danny, “but obviously that’s not really working. There’s nothing really solid enough in the doll to be bones, sorry sweetie”.

Danny’s string mouth contorts a bunch and no one can really tell what kind of facial expression he’s trying to make, “p҉͟ᴉ͏d҉̷̧͢n̡͜͝ʇ̴͝S͘͢ ̸̷˙̸s͘͢ǝ̷̧̨u̸o̷͢q̸͜��̧͞ ̸̢̛̛͟o̷̢҉͡u̸͢͠ ̶͡s͠͠u̷̧͠ɐ͘͜͡͏ƃ̷̛ɹ̛͟o̕͏̨҉”. Then covering his ‘mouth’ again when everyone winces. “Sree”. Then grinning a bit stupidly at getting an actual English sounding sound out. Everyone else grinning at him a bit too.

Maddie gives an understanding nod, “your actual body is energy, a... ghost, it makes sense their language would be a default for you”, sighing a little, “if it wasn’t for your doll that’s probably all you could speak”.

Tucker butts in a bit awkwardly, “he was just making static sounds before. So I think he still took some time to learn or whatever”. Sam rolls her eyes, “he was head to toe static before, moron”.

Maddie scrunches her eyebrows, studying Danny, “maybe that’s just how ghosts look before they stabilise. The dolls are supposed to house the person before they stabilise after all”, squinting a little, “do you think you can stick out your tongue?”, the doll didn’t have one, so that was another area where the ghost inside was supposed to be able to be seen.

Danny gives a stiff shrug, arms flapping around limply a bit from the motion, and sticks out his tongue with absolutely no idea where this is going.

Sam and Tucker snort and chuckle a little at the glowing green forked thing, with bits of static or electricity spiking off it here and there but it was mostly solid.

Maddie nods, also noting the sharp teeth the doll had sprouted, at least those weren’t glowing. Just a little too white though. Just enough to feel wrong. Seemed slightly transparent too, especially at the tips. “I’d say you’re stabilised now-”.

Sam cuts her off, grabbing Danny’s face and prodding the teeth, “woah! You’ve got fangs! Damnit, now I’m jealous”. Tucker starts laughing while Danny bats away her hands, joining in with Velcro sounds after a bit though.

Tucker pats him, “and nice snake tongue, dude”. Danny makes more alarmed marshmallow sounds before sticking his tongue back out and grabbing at it. It feels like he’s going wide-eyed, but without eyelids that’s kind of hard to tell; the green orbs do get a bit wider though.

Maddie gives him what she hopes is a reassuring smile, “ghost usually only resemble humans, sweetie. There’s bound to be changes. Just maybe don’t stick your tongue out at people”.

Tucker immediately blurts out, “or do! Bet than would totally freak Dash out!”. Maddie gives a fond sigh at that, though hoping he doesn’t actually do that. Part of the point of the dolls was so the ghost wouldn’t start terrorising people, by force or by choice.

Danny covers his mouth, effectively conveying that he would not be doing that. Or at least not till he was at least comfortable with all of... this. Being able to feel his heart beating seriously helped, though actually being able to feel it brushing up against soft cotton was supremely weird. And the staticky tingling running around everywhere was very distracting. Though that might be the only reason he’s not having a total meltdown right now. He had literally died, stoled his friends' DNA, and hijacked Dammy’s ‘body’; which fine, was kinda the point and meant Dammy was serving Its purpose but still.

Maddie pats Danny’s head, making a point to not be weirded out by the stringy texture of his hair, “maybe I should make us some food, you should be able to eat it. Also, you are not going to school tomorrow or for the next few days”.

All three teens go wide-eyed -or wide-orbed in Danny’s case- realising the slight issue. Sam and Tucker glancing at Danny. His ‘skin’ was noticeably fabric, the string ‘mouth’ absolutely couldn’t pass as even kinda normal, his ‘eyes’ were an obvious issue, people might not notice the lack of fingernails and same with the shark teeth, and then there was the boneless problem, oh and he couldn’t speak. Danny just jerkily rubs at his neck before pointing upstairs and making marshmallow noises.

[asterekmess]

S3A - E7

So, I’m starting this episode right after finishing the last one, and I’m still kinda riled up from that bullshit. Let’s get to pissing me off and breaking my heart then. Blood/gore mention warnings for this episode.

Exercise your eyes! Read More!

Let’s just jump right in:

Starting right off with forcing myself into putting the tag in. Scott literally just listened to his mother say that giving this woman something to lessen the pain of her injuries could complicate things and make it harder to treat her. This is like an important medical thing. While yes, it’s really upsetting that she would need to keep being in pain, she needs to be able to identify and explain what exactly she’s feeling to the doctor who is going to be arrive really soon (though I have no idea why the nurses aren’t able to get these people set up. That’s what they did with me? I didn’t see a doctor for like an hour, but they didn’t make me sit in the fucking waiting room before dealing with the blood.) Her pain level will have a direct effect on how quickly she’s seen. This moment is meant to show Scott being soft-hearted, but with the doctor only ten minutes away, he could literally be making this woman’s life a whole lot worse by taking away her pain right now. There is a reason why after I was given pain killers for my surgery I wasn’t allowed to be near any heavy objects. Her pain is keeping her from irritating her wound. She could fuck herself up if she stops responding to the signals her body is trying to send her. This is not the right way to make Scott look kind. He looks like an idiot who doesn’t even listen to his nurse mom.

WHo the FUCK would keep driving with a bunch of bugs in the car? She’s not even on the interstate! PULL OVER IDIOT.

I’m actually agreeing with Scott on this one. I have no idea how medically accurate what melissa just did was, but it look pretty damn cool.

WHat the hell is this conversation? First off, Ethan, you made VERY clear in the last episode that you want to bite Danny even after he said no. Even if that was the possession talking, it was based on what YOU wanted. Danny’s not safe with you. Second, what is this bullshit about knowing Lydia is the important one? Important to Stiles and ALlison maybe. Scott literally never talks to Lydia. THIRD how exactly did you guys come up with that idea when you went after them on the FIRST DAY? You sniff him on them? cus’ if so your noses are damaged.

what...what is with this ghost car shit? She was in the middle of the city, more than ten minutes away from the hospital and behind the traffic caused by the ten car pileup. How did the car drive itself ALL THE WAY here?

Ethan. you’re an alpha. you have night vision. You shouldn’t need to ask what the fucking MOTH in the middle of the driver’s seat is.

HI NOAH! I’ll be honest. I missed you. You’re a really good actor and you just make me feel all safe. WHich is weird bc I hate father figures and I hate cops. Linden Ashby is just too good, I guess.

It’s so frustrating watching Deucalion walk around with humans pretending to be blind. Because he is. He is Pretending to be blind. He’s already proved like a dozen times that he can see just fine when he turns on the Alpha eyes. Which doesn’t make SENSE because Deaton said his iris’ were permanently damaged. He doesn’t have two different sets of eyes! And it sucks, bc they put in these little things that it would’ve been awesome to see if they included an actual blind person properly. The casual use of the cane, taking someone’s elbow and the trust that implies, and even this. Having (that looks like ethan’s coat) Ethan explain what’s in front of Deucalion, describing the scene to him.

DEREK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SUCKS. HOW DID THEY DO THAT WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP? WITHOUT CORA NOTICING?

Also, Cora, you look amazing, can you please be my friend and can I hug you? I love your shirt.

I HATE THIS BITCH. Fuck you Julia.

uhh....why is an English teacher filling in for a chemistry/geometry teacher? That’s not how substitutes work. Making a joke out of it doesn’t make it make any more sense. SHe shouldn’t be doing that, especially if Harris has been missing for a while.

So your office can keep werewolves out, but not darach? Okay, let me go full conspiracy theorist here. we only know Deaton saw the moths because we see it. He just tells Scott that he’s going to be taken. This is a story that Scott is telling, so he couldn’t know that deaton saw the moths unless deaton told him. Julia is currently teaching a class. Are you seriously saying she doesn’t need to be involved at all in order to do these kidnappings? She can just put them on a timer and let the autmoatic spellwork do the job for her? OR Is deaton lying about being taken, and this is just a test he came up with to force Scott’s “True Alpha”ness to the surface? JUlia clearly had other plans for her sacrifice. I don’t think Deaton was a ‘distraction’ to keep Scott from finding the actual sacrifice. I think it was Deaton using the situation to his advantage.

why does deaton have a canine acupressure chart on his wall? I’ve never seen a vet’s office have that. Does he do alternative medicine for dogs??

BOYD. ISAAC. MY BOYS. I can’t tell you how much I love this. It’s so sneaky and annoying and so pack-ish I just love it so much.

BOYD YOU ARE A GENIUS BOY AND I LOVE YOU.

I swear, like ninety percent of what the ‘adults’ in this show say is ‘go back to school.’ ‘shouldn’t you be in school’ yadda yadda. Like, they want so badly to write the teens as though they never have to go to class, so they just make them constantly skip and ignore that these are fucking teenagers who would never be able to get out of school that easily, and they handwave it with someone occasionally going ‘hmm, weird that they aren’t in school’ and then just ignoring it? Truancy is like a THING that you can get in major trouble for. At least Boyd and Isaac called in sick. You know how you could have avoided all this class bullshit? PUT THE FUCKING SEASON DURING THE SUMMERTIME DUMBASSES.

It just hurts seeing Stiles beg for Scott not to make him tell his dad, and then turn right around and admit that it’s not okay for him to let other people suffer just because it scares him that he might lose his only parent. Like, he walks into that sacrifice with eyes wide fucking open and it hurts.

I’m not talking about these dumb sex scenes anymore. I’m so tired of them.

OKay, can we talk about the fire alarm thing though? It sounds like a jokey kind of thing with Aiden teasing Lydia about wanting to leave during the fire alarm but... Remember how Lydia was haunted by Peter’s burnt corpse? How she can hear the cries of the dead, and how she went wandering into the crumbling remains of the Hale house? There’s every chance that Lydia remembers the fire through Peter’s eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was forever freaked by fire alarms.

Man, Cora and Lydia, together? The sass involved? If I didn’t ship Allydia so hard, I’d totally ship Cora and Lydia.

ONce again, I wanna point out that AIDEN IS A MURDERER. Literally all it would take is someone Explaining to Lydia that he is serial killer and she’d never touch him again.

Cora and Stiles together? I’m loving it. I just, wanna point out that when Scott showed up Cora couldn’t have given less of a shit. But here....Cora doesn’t remotely question Stiles’ authority here. She immediately goes along with it and when he tells her to let go of Cora she does. Even though she has no real reason to. When she asks about the spirit board, it’s a legit question and she doesn’t argue or make fun.

PLus there’s the whole ‘Well do you know any spirits” which straight up just confirms for me that ghosts and shit are real in this universe. I trust the Hales as lore sources and Cora’s matter-of-fact tone is good enough for me.

jesus christ i wanna get deucalion and Peter in a room together and watch them just...monologue random facts and trivia at each other endlessly. “Lacrosse was originally played by Native Americans.” “Do you know what a metronome is?” Guys. come on.

Exasperated Stiles is literally my favorite Stiles. “We’re trying to save lives here for the love of god” “YOU”RE SOMETHING, OKay? JUST put out your Hand” It’s so fucking good.

Someone EXPLAIN TO ME how Scott learned to do fucking gymnastics. WHEN DID HE LEARN THIS? I hate this bullshit “I’m a werewolf, so I can do anything” shit. Especially since it’s LITERALLY just Scott they let do it. Everyone else has to actually do the work to learn it.

So...how exactly does Deucalion know where Deaton is? This literally just supports my theory that Deaton set the whole thing up.

ALSO, since I already have the tag I feel no shame in pointing out that Scott didn’t even HESITATE when he learned Derek was going to die. He immediately asked about Deaton. Yeah yeah, Deaton is a father figure to him, but if that’s an acceptable excuse for Scott to use now, then it should count as an acceptable one when it’s STILES” FATHER BEING THREATENED (but I digress, we’re not there yet.)

How did I never notice that Lydia’s Left handed?

andd.....how did Lydia know that? How did Scott know that? What did Deucalion say that even remotely hints at Danny? Scott doesn’t know about Danny’s paper...what?

Fuck yeah, vengeful Boyd. I dig it.

uh....why couldn’t allison just stand next to Scott in the closet. you know, like she did while he was getting in? Also, why was Allison hiding with him anyway? It’s HER HOUSE and HER BEDROOM.

um....okay, i know that we all like the sterek fics where they have to hide in the closet and one of them pops a boner...but I’mma be real, it’s a lot more uncomfortable when I know she broke up with Scott and they’ve been in there for like ten seconds. Plus there’s the whole knowing that she DEFINITELY has enough room to move away and so does he. *shrug*

Side note: Allison where the fuck do you get these clothes? THey’re both awesome and...kinda weird? Did you buy that dress in france?

okay, i’ll admit it, i do actually kinda like the camera angle through the map, with the blacklight lighting up the symbols (though the symbols flash on and off a little too fast). It’s kinda cool.

uh, how would taking the picture help? You don’t have the blacklight over it? None of the markings are visible anymore

why does Chris keep walking in and out? AND WHY DIDN”T ALLISON DO THAT THE FIRST TIME?

Stiles in plaid and Converse? Yes. Yes. please. That’s so my aesthetic I’m so fucking jealous. He looks COMFY.

This whole interaction is just so fucking weird XD

But like, why would Stiles know to go through Danny’s stuff instead of just asking him why he might’ve been targeted??

HOW WOULD THEY KNOW TO CUT THE POWER? THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Why does the ALpha pack keep showing up with way more information than they should have? It’s so annoying! It’s one thing if Morrell is feeding them information, but she wouldn’t have KNOWN about this! This was a good plan and there’s NO REASON the Alphas should’ve known what Boyd, Isaac, and Derek were doing! What the fuck?

....god i love Derek’s red eyes.

....god i hate that I know where this is going.

....god i wish he’d just let them tear her apart.

I know that it’s meant to be setting up the cora/stiles thing, but I love that she doesn’t hesitate to touch him, and that when she stops him it’s with a very quiet “stop.” She’s really gentle with him, which is just fucking nice. Werewolves taking care to be gentle with Stiles is like...nice.

Since when did Scott know about the plan with Boyd and Isaac? Since when did Stiles know? Is Boyd seriously texting Cora while Derek and Kali are fighting, or did he text her as soon as the power was cut?

is this the first time we see a werewolf bounce off the mountain ash? I mean, I think so, but we also see Peter in S1 try to get past some. There’s no glowing when he comes into contact with the shield. It’s the same with Isaac and Erica in s2. I mean...I guess they’re just trying to upgrade the ash stuff? I gotta say though, I kinda prefered when there were no special effects. It seemed cooler when literally the only thing making it work was belief and having this totally invisible barrier that Peter couldn’t cross. It was cool.

....i think i’m procrastinating seeing the end of this fight. I’m gonna fucking cry.

Why...why does Isaac turn and yell ‘wait’ to Boyd when he was the one running forward to Julia? I am confusion.

Dude, if Alphas could break through mountain ash barriers then Talia Hale WOULDN”T HAVE DIED. THE HALE PACK WOULDn’T HAVE DIED.

I wanna point out here, that this fight between Derek and Kali makes sense for once. Him losing makes sense. We know that the Alphas are much older than they look, or at least Kali, Deucalion and Ennis were. Aiden and Ethan don’t show up in that flashback. ANyway, Kali’s probably in her thirties or forties. SHe’s much older than Derek and she’s been fighting for a lot longer, not to mention fighting to kill.

Seriously, someone get my boy a quarterstaff to knock her feet away.

I really really don’t understand this stuff. Why is it whenever people (I mean Derek, because it’s literally always Derek) get forced to use their werewolf claws/teeth (because again I cannot believe this is happening more than once) he for some reason can’t just...shift back? Retract his claws and fangs? Derek has amazing control, he should totally have been able to do it. With the venom it made sense, he was paralyzed. But now??

What exactly was the fucking point of having Scott break the mountain ash barrier, just to have the sheriff show up and shoot Deaton down? That was literally useless.

also, Noah is an amazing shot. Hot damn.

ALSO. LIterally all this info about true alphas is being whispered to Scott when he’s all alone? How the fuck am i supposed to trust that deaton even ever said that shit to Scott? He could totally be lying about it.

WHAT KIND OF TOTAL BULLSHIT BACKWARDS ASS PLOTLINE IS THIS? After half the season being about Deucalion attacking Derek and trying to get him into the pack, suddenly “Deucalion isn’t after Derek, he’s after you” WHAT? THat’s the STUPIDEST LAZIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN.

and to end my rant BOYD SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PETER STUCK HIS ENTIRE HAND THROUGH DEREK”S CHEST IN SEASON 1 WHIL IN HIS ALPHA FORM AND THREW HIM INTO A WALL AND DEREK SURVIVED JUST FINE. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE???

Final Thoughts: No. No, no, no no, no, and no. The ‘plotline’ of this episode is literally like fifteen things that have nothing to do with each other.

Admittedly, there were a few nice moments. Cora, Lydia, and Stiles was an awesome trio. Boyd, Isaac, and Derek was an awesome trio. The sheriff? Amazing. Melissa? A fucking hero. Danny, a genius saint.

All in all, I’m going to tear this episode to shreds in order to rewrite it. Get fucked, Davis.

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal thoughts on Open Heart, Book 2, Chapter 13 (with some glimpses to previous chapters)

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

I’m really sorry because this post ended up being super long, but there is so much I need to write about Open Heart after those incredible chapters that PB has been delivering in the last few weeks that I had to stop for a moment and revisit all that has happened as well as some of my ideas about what might happen in future chapters (this is not intended to be an OH blog but seriously guys, this is the only book that gives me those “I need to write about this” vibes at the moment).

I know some people are quite disappointed for how things developed in Chapter 13… BUT… I think this chapter is actually kind of a “bridge” (just like in the songs) to introduce new plots, so I’d definitely tell you not to get desperate. One of the things that this series has taught me over time is that everything has a reason to be. Except for the cases we solve (that tend to change every chapter), the rest of the plot has its own slow pace and development, so as I’ve said before, with a third book already confirmed and in the works, there is no need to hurry things, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the conflicts are not fully solved by the end of Book 2.

For me, it was always very obvious that the huge amount of unsolved subplots in this book would have their breaking point at the same time at some point of the story. Now I’m guessing that the senator incident was just the tip of the iceberg and that there’s so much more that we still haven’t seen… so I can’t think of a more appropriate title to Chapter 13, because yes, it was a “time bomb”… and I also think this is far from over, so I’m expecting Chapter 14 to kind of follow the same path.

So right when we were waiting for our MC to show some evident PTSD signs after what happened in Chapters 10, 11 and 12, PB throws us Chapter 13 and everything that had been accumulating for a long time already and seemed to have no special meaning for the plot, exploded, which actually scares me because it seems no one is mentally capable to help the rest of the gang at the moment. So while PB dares to give these people a break, let’s try to organize this “mess” and see how I think things will go with our friends:

Aurora Emery: Everything seems to be fine with Aurora now, and that might explain why we didn’t see her in Chapter 13. But sadly, I have a bad feeling. One of the reasons why she left Edenbrook and went to Mass Kenmore was because Tobias apparently didn’t know who she was. But now that we know that June has been sleeping with Tobias for who knows how long… did he really NOT know who Aurora was when we met him at that diner? Bryce Lahela: Another character who seemed to have disappeared this week is the hottest scalpel jockey in town. Do you really think PB forgot about him? Because I’m seriously expecting his parents to arrive in Boston just to try to take Keiki back home with them (maybe during Chapter 14?). If this happens, I can already tell it will be super heartbreaking, because I don’t know if she can actually emancipate from her parents or to stay with Bryce as her legal guardian. The Lahela siblings simply don’t deserve this.

Kyra Santana: Kyra is the first of the characters who seems to have her issues solved, so I’d say she’d finally made it safe to Book 3 (unless something truly unexpected happens). We know that she is getting better (I love you Bryce!) and I can’t wait to see her become the rock of this gang. The girl has already gone through A LOT, and she is enjoying her second chance in life, so there’s plenty of advice that our gang could take from her to deal with difficult times. I’m so waiting for her character to become a central part of the healing process!

Rafael Aveiro: I think the writers are still trying to figure out how to reincorporate Raf to the story, so it’s very predictable to say that we won’t see him soon. However, I don’t know if you guys realize how HUGE this character has become after the incidents in previous chapters, especially when it comes to the relationship with the MC. No matter if you’re romancing him or not, from now on, NO ONE in this series will understand the MC as Raf does and vice versa. And I can’t wait to see how PB exploits this new and unique bound between them!

Elijah Green: Elijah is another character who seem to have solved his main issue in this book (keeping boundaries with Sothy), but it surprised me how affected he was at Danny’s funeral. I’m also expecting to know what happened with Phoebe, as we haven’t seen her in this book… where is she? What happened with that relationship? Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that Elijah has also made it to Book 3.

Sienna Trinh: Finally our BFF had the guts to stand up to Mitch. In the process, we discovered that the guy was a problem not only for Sienna, but also for the nurses and other professionals, given all the support she received. However, I’m still super worried about our dolphin partner. Even though she tries to hide how she truly feels about things, we all know she sucks at it. Danny was her LI and I can’t believe she isn’t a mess now. I think it’s the right moment for her to have a heart to heart conversation with the MC.

Jackie Varma: My feelings towards Jackie are weird. I wasn’t a fan of her “tough love” in Book 1… and I LOVE HER in Book 2 (I think she actually has the best and most underrated character development in this series so far)… but right now I want to punch her… seriously! What the hell are you thinking, girl? I don’t understand a thing of what she did in Chapter 13, but I’m pretty convinced that the presentation was fake, the Gary excuse was fake, but the money that she’s receiving from Panacea is very real. Also, who was this woman that left her so confused? She’ll have lots of explaining to do in future chapters.

Ethan Ramsey: I honestly didn’t see that coming… it was shocking, painful and heartbreaking, and I think not even Ethan knew how huge everything was until he saw his mother dying at the hospital. Now I have so many questions! Was she looking for him because she wanted help to treat her addictions? Was she looking for money to get more drugs? Did his father know about this? Was she already an addict before leaving Alan and Ethan 25 years ago, and Ethan didn’t know about it or did he block that memory of his mind? This is going to be intense, to say the least, and I think this might be some subplot that will be dragged to Book 3.

Farley: Who would have thought a few weeks ago that I would be adding the landlord to this post? Probably no one. But there is something about him that doesn’t add up. His behavior has changed A LOT, all of a sudden, and you can see he has the word “guilt” written all over his face. I personally can’t stop thinking he’s the one who sold the canister to Travis. If we go back a few chapters, Travis said that when he bought that thing he only received an account number. But the person who sold him the canister and received the money probably did see who was paying for it. He was also too reluctant to answer Jackie and the MC’s questions before being admitted… I don’t know guys, despite his case was solved quite fast (I laughed so freaking hard when Ethan said he was a PITA!) I don’t trust him at all.

Esme Ortega: We all were waiting for a chapter focused in our intern… but I don’t think we expected it to go this way. I know a lot of people are talking about an assisted suicide case, but I think there is more than meets the eye. Esme is probably the best intern this year, so I can’t imagine her making the mistake of not adjusting the dose, as well as I can’t imagine her not knowing that assisted suicide is illegal in Massachusetts. You may also think that her emotions and how she felt about Levi blurred her rational thinking, but I’m in denial. There is just something that doesn’t add up here. She doesn’t even seem to remember giving him the wrong dose. Then what went wrong? Will we have to face another trial, this time from the mentor side?

Declan Nash: Another character that I didn’t expect to write about in a post. I’m still disappointed because I would have loved to see Declan in that room instead of Bobby, Danny or Rafael. But now I can see that Esme’s case may help us to finally get rid of this guy (let’s be honest, he hasn’t been a big contribution to the development of the plot in Book 2 so he wouldn’t be missed). I don’t think he just appeared by chance in this chapter. We already know that Panacea trials weren’t working on Levi, so even though he apparently died because of Esme’s mistake, I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up discovering something HUGE about irregularities in the trial processes led by Declan, especially because I can’t remember seeing an informed consent where a patient with a severe adverse event (in this case, a severe kidney damage) caused by a study is allowed to participate in a new similar study (I might be wrong though).

Our MC: Of course I had to include our MC here. There’s so much to be explored about “Casey Valentine” that it would take a full post to analyze their past, their present and their future. But I think one of the biggest lessons that Chapter 13 left them was that life continues and people move on. Our MC is stuck on what happened and they’re making their biggest effort to keep going, but I don’t know how much they’ll be able to handle without collapsing. All of our gang is grieving Danny and Bobby, and at the same time they’re dealing with their own personal issues… and I can bet our MC will reach their breaking point when they realize they can’t do anything to help their friends because “Casey” has reached a point where they can’t even help themselves.

[a-wolf-and-his-boy]

End Of June: Sterek Fanfic Recs’

Hello all! I am incredibly sorry that this rec list is late, Tumblr recently went through an update that I didn’t know about and was left staring angrily at a white screen where my dashboard was supposed to be. Anyways as an official apology I’ve added extra reading material to keep you entertained ;) x. 

(Fuck you they said) As they threw their threads from their wedding bed by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) [9/9 - 96,199 - Mature]

First Son Stiles Stilinski just accidentally caused an international incident. And apparently the only way to save human-werewolf relations is to marry him off to Prince Derek of Triskele. Stiles is going to need all of his acting skills to make the marriage look real, because the Prince is kind of a fucking asshole.

The paint’s supposed to go where? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) [1/1 - 1,781 - Teen+]

“Okay,” Derek said, coming up beside him and holding out the can of blue paint. “Dip your palms in this.”

“Why?” Stiles asked, even as he stuck his right hand into the can and coated it in the blue substance. “Also, why are you making me move when it means you’re going to have to reposition me just right all over again?”

“Because I was only doing that to drive you crazy,” Derek insisted with a sassy smirk. Damn that sassy bastard! “We’re both going to be moving for this.”

“Okay,” Stiles said uncertainly, his left hand now coated in paint. “Why?”

Murder, He Wrote by mklutz [1/1 - 31,682 - Explicit]

And that was how Stiles accidentally became a New York Times bestselling author.

Both your hands in the holes of my sweater by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) [1/1 - 2,223 - Teen+]

Laura Hale is trying to murder him. How dare she give Derek the softest, most adorable sweater! When she knows that Stiles' weak bisexual heart can't handle that level of cute from the man he's most definitely in love with. "It has thumbholes." Yeah, well thanks for that, Derek.

On my Way by Gia279 [1/1 - 17,955 - Not Rated]

Huge black paws smacked the window, followed by a fuzzy face smooshing up against it.

He scrambled over the gear shift, tipping into the passenger seat. Bear, he thought hysterically. It had to be a bear, a freaking bear.

A big pink tongue rolled out, lips pulling back as the creature panted.

And the Cold Pulls You Down by blacktofade [1/1 - 12,967 - Explicit]

“Do you believe in ghosts?” Stiles asks Derek one night after he’s settled into bed, listening to the sound of Derek brushing his teeth in the bathroom.

“Ghosts?” Derek asks, voice muffled by toothbrush and paste as he stands in the doorway to stare at Stiles.

Or, the one where Stiles is 99.9% sure their house is haunted and no one believes him.

Hot Dad Derek by Anzieizna [1/1 - 3,380 - General]

After a few more minutes of Michael’s story, Stiles was once again distracted by the sound of excited squealing. He looked over his date’s shoulder to see the kid slapping his spoon onto his meal, sending chunks of food flying into the air with laughter.

The dad - wow, what a jawline - hurried to stop him, reprimanding him as he held his hand gently. The kid looked about a second away from crying, his lip already quivering and his eyes misting over, and like a flip had been switched Hot Dad went from ‘angry parent’ to ‘caring father’ real quick.

Right now, watching this gorgeous guy wipe away at some food at the corner of his son’s mouth, Stiles imagined being part of that little family.

Then Michael clicked his fingers in front of his face.

-- OR: --

Stiles is on a bad date - like, a really, really bad date - but the cute baby being adorable behind the guy kind of makes up for it. Oh yeah, and the dad is hot as hell. That helps.

fly high by starcanopus [1/1 - 2,438 - General]

"And there goes Hale with the Quaffle - you know, he looks pretty good in uniform, the green really brings out his eyes - and oof, it's stolen by Mahealani. Good job, Danny-boy! Mahealani passes to Argent, who manages to dodge Little Hale’s Bludger - dodges Reyes - SCORES!” Stiles pumps his fist and hollers, “Take that, you slimy, scheming little s-”

He dodges Finstock’s lunge and holds the megaphone out of reach.

“Sorry Professor, got caught up in the moment.”

Kiss the Cook by idyll [1/1 - 5,004 - Teen+]

Derek's a professional chef, and Stiles is a blogger who butchers his recipes.

Hemingway Can Suck It by orphan_account [1/1 - 10,054 - Teen+]

“For those of you who just transferred into this class or simply decided that day one wasn’t important enough to attend, I’m Professor Hale. Welcome to English 346, The American Novel.”

Stiles is pretty sure his mouth is hanging open right now and that his eyes are wide with shock, because holy fuck, he thinks he knows why his students transferred. Hell, if he was still an undergrad, he probably would have transferred, too.

(Or: In which Stiles is a Biology professor and Derek thinks he's a student.)

The Importance of History and Math by WolfMadeFromAsh [1/1 - 7,615 - Not Rated]

Derek and Stiles are both seniors, a misunderstanding freshman year has Stiles' best friend hating Derek. Derek's being crushing on Stiles since freshman year, problem is he has issues getting himself to talk to him.

I want you (no, I mean your art) by ElisAttack [3/3 - 8,983 - Mature]

"Scott, remember that new encaustic painting I sold last week?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Derek Hale's fucking a twink beside it."

Or the one where Stiles is an artist whose artworks keep appearing in his favourite porn star's videos.

Sleeping Dogs by starsystems [6/6 - 42,370 - Mature]

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Prov. Do not instigate trouble. Leave something alone if it might cause trouble.

Derek Hale is asleep in Stiles's bed. And it just escalates from there.

Because of course it does.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

can you give us...Ryan's Attempt At Poem? :')

CW: Strong language, siblings being shit to each other just ‘cause. Crude references to consensual spice.

TIMELINE: Danny is 21 and a junior in college, Ryan is 19 and a freshman. Takes place one year and three months prior to abduction, about one year before Danny meets Nate for the first time.

“Dan, get in here and help me out!”

Danny groans, rolling his eyes. “Sorry, guys,” He says into the mic on the little headset he’s wearing. “Little brother needs me.”

“Man, fuck your little brother.” That’s Cam, who isn’t exactly Danny’s friend, but he plays all the same video games and Danny likes teaming up with him. Cam always racks up just an insane kill count.

Danny has a painful crush on him, like being a high schooler all over again. It doesn’t help that he’s Danny’s lab partner in his chemistry course, so they sit in incredibly painful proximity to one another twice a week for an hour.

“Careful, Cameron, if you say fuck you too loudly around Ryan Michaelson, he absolutely will,” Perry says, laughter along his voice. “Then you’d learn about a whole new world, buddy.”

“Hey, if Ryan Michaelson asked me to, I probably would want to discover a whole new world,” Cam replies, apparently unbothered. “I mean. Look, there’s pretty, and then there’s Ryan fucking Michaelson.”

“Ugh, gross, you guys. He’s my brother.”

“Yeah, but, like… you’d understand, right?”

Danny sighs dramatically, making it loud enough to carry through the mike. His heart races, just a little, as he says, “But what if I wanted to show you  whole new world, Cam?”

There’s a silence, and then everyone starts laughing, and Danny is elated that nobody took him seriously, but also disappointed that Cameron didn’t take him seriously. 

Stop getting crushes on straight guys, Danny, you know it’s not going to work.

He’d sort of thought being gay as hell would mean he only wanted to actually be with actual gay guys, but… it doesn’t always happen that way. Whatever. Cam wouldn’t have noticed him even if he was gay, anyway - he was in a frat or some shit and Danny figured he probably wears way too much eyeliner for the frat guys to put up with.

But he looks really fucking good in eyeliner.

“Danny!” Ryan calls again, louder this time. “You and I both know you’re not playing right now, you’re just, like, talking shit with those guys - come help!”

“Okay, I mean it, I’m gone for now. I’ll tell him you all sent your fucking love and kisses and whatnot,” Danny says, brightly.

“Definitely tell him we sent our kisses,” Perry says. “Jesus fuck, Ryan Michaelson is hot.”

“Perry-”

“Yeah, yeah, later, Dan. We’ll tell you how hot your brother is when you get back.”

“… well now I’m not coming back.”

“No! We need you! You’re the second-best shot on the team! Only Cam does a better job than you.”

“Wow, what a compliment,” Danny says dryly. “I think I might melt into the fucking floor.”

“Little Danny-puddle,” Cam says, slightly soft, and Danny’s throat nearly closes up. Then he just logs out before he say something embarrassing, tossing his mic onto the coffee table and standing up, stretching his limbs. Ryan’s in the guest room this weekend - Danny had gotten a two-bedroom apartment specifically so Ryan could stay over whenever. 

Mom and Dad fucking hated when Ryan stayed here, and that was half the reason to invite him. 

“All right, dumbass, what do you need?” Danny says as he sticks his head through the door to Ryan’s room. He’s on his stomach on the bed, squinting at his laptop, head titled.

“I need help. I want to write Remy a poem for Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh, my God. I am way too gay to help you write a poem for a girl, Ryan. Especially for fucking Remy fucking Alleman, the bitch.”

“Man, fuck you. Remy’s fucking gorgeous and sarcastic and French and like the smartest person I know.”

“What about me?”

“Danny, you are neither French nor particularly smart, but I’ll give you sarcastic.”

“I’m at least gorgeous, though, right?”

“Nah, man, you’re ugly as shit. All those freckles?” Ryan pokes Danny in the cheek, just over his cheekbone, and laughs when Danny shoves him so hard he rolled off the bed and hit with a thump. “Ow! Fine, I take it back! You’re… acceptably attractive under certain circumstances!”

“Thank you. That’s all I ask you to say.” Danny flutters his eyelashes, then holds out his hand to help Ryan back up onto the bed. “So why do you want my help, for real?”

“Well… Gay guys are good at romantic shit, right?”

Danny blinks at him. “Have you met me?”

“… fair point. You’re a dumbass on a good day. Well… you’re all I got, so come over here and look at it, tell me what you think. I want to, like, handwrite it on this really pretty paper I got, and then I’m gonna roll it up like it’s a scroll and tie it to a rose she’s gonna find in that tree we used to climb when we started dating. Does that sound romantic?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a fucking Hallmark card. Let me see.”

Danny flops down to look at the words sitting in the open Word document on the screen. 

“My gaming friends think you’re super hot, you know,” He says, sidelong. “Perry and Jay and Cam and shit.”

Ryan shrugs. “Everyone thinks I’m hot. Comes with being so fucking hot all the time.”

“I hate you.”

“I hate you, too,” Ryan says primly. “And don’t you forget it.”

“How could I forget anything about you, you never leave me the fuck alone. Okay, so your poem.” Danny looks at the computer screen, gnawing on his lower lip, thinking. “Oh, man. This is… terrible.”

“Is it really?” Ryan scoots closer. “Like, too terrible to show her?”

“No you should definitely show her, she is going to fall on her ass laughing, and I want to be there to see it.” Danny’s mouth moves as he rereads it - he’s never been the best reader, although he does well enough reading for school. “Yeah, no, this sucks absolute donkey ass.”

“Shit.” Ryan deflates, a little, and Danny looks at him sidelong. “I just wanted to do something romantic.”

“Ryan, this is romantic. It’s just also terrible. It can be both things.”

“Yeah, but she’s French. They, like, get poetry and shit.”

“She’s French-Canadian, for starters, and don’t ever call her French to her face or she’ll kick you in it. Just give her your terrible poem and the rose and stuff. It’s romantic as hell, Ryan. She’ll laugh but she’ll keep the poem for-fucking-ever, I guarantee it.”

“You think?”

“I know, Ryan. Okay, I’ll help you maybe move some stuff around. I don’t know shit about poetry, but I mean… I can try. We’ll work on it together, get it the best it’s gonna be from the Michaelson boys.”

“So… still terrible.”

“Yeah, but what are you gonna do? If she cared about poetry, she’d date a fucking English major, right?”

“Right. But… but.” Ryan hesitates, just the barest hint of real vulnerability on his face. “She’ll still like it, even if it sucks, right?”

“She likes you even though you suck,” Danny pointed out helpfully.

“Hey now, of the two of us in the room who suck-”

“Shut up, asshole. Let’s get this done so I can get back to gaming, we’re doing really well in the rankings. Cam is talking about doing a couple semi-pro bits, like, signing up for meets where there’s money on the line.”

“Well if Cameron says to do it, of course you have to, God forbid you remember Cameron doesn’t even know you exist. Oooh, let’s write a poem for Cam for Valentine’s. ‘My hair is red, my eyes are blue, when I’m sucking dick, I think about you-’“

“Ryan, shut the fuck up! I do not think about Cam every time!”

Ryan brightens. “So… how often would you say you do? Ballpark estimate.”

Danny groans. “I’m going to punch you in the face. In the face, Ryan.”

“Mmmn, I’d look super hot with a black eye and we both know it. Anyway, help me with the poem first, I need to, like, learn some kind of penmanship or whatever so this doesn’t look like shit.”

“… yeah, okay.”

The two brothers settled in next to each other to consider the next line.

[babyspiderling]

The Moonwalker and the Time-Traveler Prologue

California, 2020

 “Ms. L/N, I suggest you wake up for my class if you want to pass this course.” I blink up at my professor, it seems that I fell asleep during history class again. “I’m sorry Professor Berkley, I was up all last night with my roommate tinkering all night.” At that he softens, a grandfatherly look in his eye. “Oh Y/N, I understand, but if you truly want to be a history major, you have to stay awake! I will not simply give you a free pass while trying to adjust, just please, try to stay awake in my class.” Standing, I nod. “Yes sir. I’ll do my best.” After this, I am dismissed and head back to my dorm room to hopefully catch a nap. 

Kicking the door shut, I move to collapse onto my bed, but am blocked by whatever my engineering major roommate has built in the dorm for his latest project. “Seriously dude? Don’t you have a lab for this kind of stuff?” I kick off my shoes and do my best to move around it, finally, truly collapsing onto my bed. I fall asleep quickly, hopefully revisiting the dream I had during class. 

Lord knows how much later, I wake up to my roommate continuing to tinker on his project. Grumbling under my pillow, “Danny, don’t you have a lab for this shit? Why do you have to do it here, I’m sleeping in classes because of this!” He sheepishly lifts his head up to respond. “Uh, well, I uh… It’satimemachine.” Snapping my head up, I question “It’s a what?” Once again he looks shy and guilty. “It’s a, uh, Time Machine. Or at least that’s what I’m wanting it to be. I’m still working on it.” Well, I’m definitely awake now. “So, like, what’s the problem?” Finally putting down his tools, Danny turns to me, “It should work. I ran the simulations and used the one that worked. It’s just… not connecting I guess.” Glancing at the clock, it’s getting late. “Look Danny, I’m going to clean up some of my stuff. Go get some food. I know you haven’t eaten yet.” With a defeated sigh, Danny agrees and leaves the room. I slip into a pair of shorts and an old David Bowie tour shirt I had found at a thrift store. Picking up things here and there, folding abandoned pieces of laundry, I hum and bop around the room, dancing along to “Working Day and Night”, practicing turns and isolations to the beat. Taking a deep breath I prep and spin as fast and as long as I can, but my foot slips out from under me. I tumble to the floor, tripping over some cord. Oh well, it’s probably Danny's “mood lighting”, I plug it in and decide to check out the “Time Machine”. “Ground Control to Major Tom! Prepare for lift-off!” I press random buttons, dicking around and typing 1984, then some other buttons. “Huh, sucks it really doesn’t work. It’d be cool if you really could time travel.” Once again I trip over Danny’s junk on the floor of the project and slam into one last button I had yet to press. On the way down I hit my head, and the world went black as a whirring sound filled my ears. 

Waking up, I find myself in a room about the size of mine, decorated much like my side of the dorm, with a funky retro feeling to it. “Danny, this isn’t funny, I get it, I’m gullible for believing the machine was real. Now how the Hell did you change all this so quick… and get rid of the machine?” I continue searching the room for Danny, and realise that the sun had already risen hours ago. I may have been out for longer than I thought, and come crashing into a body. Awesome! Now I can really teach that boy a lesson for pulling that. “Hey, what are you doing in my dorm? Nice shirt by the way, I was at the Anaheim show a couple months ago. That’s where you got the shirt, right?” I blink at the guy my age, still processing the amount of denim and hair products he has decided to use for the day. “What? Oh, uh, my shirt. Wait, did you say you saw him in Anaheim a couple months ago? What year are you from?” He knits his brows together. “1984. Are you ok? Did you get a bad hit or something? Do I need to call someone for you?” I space myself from him, the stimulation of this whole situation too much. “No, no I’m ok. What’s today’s date?” His eyes are still filled with concern as he replies with January 26th 1984, and that I’m still at University of Redlands, just 36 years before I attend. “Wait, January 26th, why does that sound so familiar? I hear Beat It blare down the hall and I can practically see the light bulb above my head. “Do you know how to get to the Shrine Auditorium?” 

We zip down the highway on Tyler’s motorcycle, making a trip down to L.A. He had me explain my whole ordeal to him before he just drove me to a random concert venue. It took a bit to convince him, but the second I pulled my smartphone out he was on board. He pulls off to a strip mall and helps me dismount. “Wait, why are we at a mall? I need to get to that venue before security secures it.” He just rolls his eyes. “If you want to get in and stay in without too much attention, you need to look a little bit different. Time to fit in.” He drags me into store after store, and I finally piece together a “Bad” inspired outfit. A black crop top slips off one shoulder, leather pants pull tight around my legs and hips, a blood red leather jacket drapes my shoulders, and matching leather boots clutch my feet. “Tyler, this is too much. I can’t even pay you back.” He rolls his eyes and pays for the clothes, letting me keep my own hoops and rings. “Look, just meeting a time traveler is cool, dressing one is even better. When you get back home and you still want to pay me back, we’ll figure it out. Let’s get you to the moonwalker himself.” 

As we pull into the parking lot for the venue, there isn’t another soul in sight. “Hey, here’s my address, if you ever want to mail me, or just let me know that you’re doing ok.” He hands me a slip of paper, and I hug him tightly. “Thank you Tyler, I am forever in your debt. If you’re anywhere near the university in 2020, let me know.” With that, he rides back home into the sunset, and I sneak into the venue before security shows up. 

It’s a good thing I like the song Billie Jean, because I have heard it about 72 times in the last hour. During sound check alone I almost lost my mind, with just the baseline intro playing for 30 minutes. As I hear the cue from the director that it is time to actually film the commercial. I hear “Take One!” in the distance and I ditch my jacket behind a stack of crates, my phone hidden in the pocket. I find the side entrance of the stage as take 3 is anounced. I crouch down in a runners position at take 5, launching myself at take 6. Michael nears the pyrotechnic and I slam my body into his as it goes off, now missing him by inches. There are screams of terror and shock as we fly through the air, now spun so that I land on my back, Michael on top of me. His brothers quickly help him up and off of me as I am seized by security, doing my best to put as little weight on my now injured ankle as possible. I raise my hands in surrender, trying to think my way out of this. “Look! Look, I can explain all of this, including how I knew that this take wasn’t going to go well. Let me explain and I will never try to contact any of you again!” Everyone around me exchanges glances, deciding whether to trust me or not. Tito steps forward, his eyes full of scrutiny. “Alright girl, explain.” I sigh and grimace in pain. “I can’t do it out here. Too many people. And my evidence of my claims are in my jacket backstage.” He glances back at Michael, nodding in response to his younger brother. I am escorted backstage, am allowed to sit down to relieve my ankle, and I start my story. “I’m from the future, 36 years in the future to be a bit more specific. I’m not crazy.” Michael crouches down in front of me, “If you’re really a time traveler I would love to talk about the future with you!” He’s nudged and given a look from his older brothers, and his smile is dimmed a bit. “But if you’re from the future, wouldn’t you know songs I haven’t released yet?” I nod my head, but I get hit with the issue of Thriller already being released and the “Bad” sessions not yet started for at least another 6 months, if not more. I flip through the collection of Michael songs I know by heart, trying to find one he’s recorded but not yet released. “Oh! I know about “Love never felt so good”! The one you recorded with Paul Anka! I can sing it for you!” I start at the chorus, my brain too frazzled to remember it’s entirety. Everyone else who knows about the song exchanges looks, one brother even shouting questions of how I knew it. “It’s on my phone, and I’m from the future. All your music’s been released. Well, almost all of it. There’s still tracks from your upcoming session that I have yet to find. Here, I can show you.” Lifting myself from my seat, I reach to retrieve my jacket from behind the crates. Everyone watches me with baited breath, wanting to see what the time traveler will pull out next. I pull out my phone and search for the Xscape album. I press play on the original track and Michael's voice rings out from the speaker. I switch it up to “Working Day and Night”, what I was listening to before I got here. 

“Look, I can play you anything you’ve already recorded. I just can’t play you anything you haven’t done yet. Those are the rules.” Michael escorts me back to his dressing room to ask me questions about the future since I am no longer seen as crazy. “Are there flying cars ? What about people living in space? Are there aliens?” I giggle at his excitement. “Well, we do have people living in space, it isn’t commercialized yet, so you and I couldn’t go. We don’t have flying cars, but we do have self driving ones. And there are no known aliens yet. Music is accessible though. If I had any service in 1984, I could play you any song any time from anyone. I could listen to “Wanna be Startin Somethin’” for 3 days straight if I wanted to. All I’d have to do is type it in and press play.” His eyes sparkle in awe of the future. He opens his mouth to ask more questions, but Jermaine and another man enters the room before he can get a word out, “Come on Mike, we need to finish the commercial. This is an EMT we had on site, he’s here to fix her ankle.” As Michael leaves his seat, I grab his hand. “Please, don’t let them turn the pyrotechnics back on. Please.” He nods and pats my hand before leaving the room. The EMT removes my new boots and my ankle swells before my eyes, no longer constrained in the tight leather. We make small talk as he works until the commercial is done recording. 

[yutaya]

Iron Fist Rewatch 1x02: Shadow Hawk Takes Flight

These doctors seem very nonchalant about how close this dude just got to murdering Danny with a fork. No reassurance or apology - just pour drugs down his throat so they can hose him down. What a picture of The System.

Negative stereotype that has roots in truth - there ARE places like this and worse, but it's true that we very rarely see the good kind of facility represented in TV too. Sucks for them to always be portrayed as the bad guy, and probably harmful too if people really could benefit from them but are wary.

"Let's say [he IS Danny]. That would mean he somehow, miraculously, [1] survived a plane crash, [2] in the Himalayas, and that [3] for some unknown reason he waited fifteen years to come back, with [4] no shoes and a tendency toward violence." - Ward, reciting all the reasons he's been repeating to himself ever since the parking lot not to start thinking this might be Danny, frog and freezer stories or no.

"We're doing the right thing. We could have just had him arrested." Why DIDN'T you have him arrested, Ward? Oh right, HAROLD. ugh.

AU where Danny gets arrested instead. Unfortunately I THINK none of the other Defenders timelines work out so this would be a good time for them to meet him early, though... 🤔

Again with this bird. I completely forgot about this symbol theme.

Danny: "I was meditating." Doctor: "Oh!" Danny: "Yeah, I was trying to focus my chi so I could get out of here." Doctor: "Oh..."

Doctor's like: Oh, wow, this is an interesting level of specificity for a made up story...

I forgot how much I like this doctor. He's legit trying to help. I forget what happened to him...

Colleen is putting so much effort into insulting her students LOL. Also: Darryl's shoes are too big. Bc Colleen runs a struggling dojo in an underprivileged part of city as a safe haven for these kids and to help "teach them how to perform in the real world"

Parts of this conversation that will weigh on Colleen: "You saw me being attacked; you KNOW there's something weird going on." "One of the richest families in New York have a problem with you." "No, I don't have anyone else I can ask for help: you're the only one."

Ward: Ok, good, I'm hearing reasons why this guy can't be telling the truth and therefore cannot be Danny. That's good. I still feel kind of off though... but that's probably just the thing where Harold put cameras in the hospital. Yeah.

Poor Kyle.

Ward: "We can lobotomize him!" Me: "asdfghjkl WARD."

This shot of Harold's "smile" when he tells Ward  "You ARE one of my guys! One of my most trusted guys!" is SO CREEPY

You can see Colleen FREEZE when Ward introduces himself. Harold and Ward shooting themselves in the foot with this: they're lending credence to Danny's story from the phone convo.

Ward, one of the richest people in the city: "Lie to the authorities about that homeless dude being violent for my own personal benefit. Here's a blatant bribe."

Harold yelling at the spy footage like he's throwing popcorn at a movie.

POOR KYLE.

This is deeply uncomfortable for me on a personal level.

Joy: Hmmmmm. What possible reason... could "Danny's" doctor have... for asking that very specific question.... unless.........?

Ok but "tiny Danny wanted to be an acrobat and was always jumping around on things" makes it SO MUCH EASIER for canon-divergent AUs where Danny isn't in the plane crash to still include ninja warrior Danny I-

Harold, a known dead man, looming ominously in the shadows of Danny's mental hospital room: "Here's a message about how you have to come find me and help me. It's not very subtle so you'll probably get it." Danny: "Oh shit, maybe I am crazy...?"

Danny: "I was a warrior. Only in the middle of a fight did I fully come alive. The harder someone hit me, the more everything came into focus." Harold: "Hm. Note taken." Me: *crying emoji*

Show: "oooh, ominous, Harold's under the Hand's thumb. Maybe there's more to him, maybe he's sympathetic...?" Fans: "lol, nice try. We all clocked that creep-o the moment we saw him."

I've talked about Colleen's first impressions of the Meachums in general and Ward in specific before but. Dude. Dude.

Danny, thinking that his very last tentative hope (Colleen) has fallen through, receives a communication from Joy. ;____;

Had. Had Joy already opened the bag of m&ms. It was sealed when she pulled it out of her desk drawer so wh- OH. The hospital opened Danny's mail, including the candy bag, to inspect it before giving it to him. Hahaha *sob*

If Colleen hadn't come to see Danny here, their paths might have diverged. As far as he's concerned, Colleen has made it clear that she's not going to help him and that they're just two strangers in a big city. Turning the corner and seeing her come to visit him boosts that flame of hope that Joy's package rekindled even further. He thought he had no one, and now the amount of people he has is growing.

Ok but, in an AU where Colleen doesn't go see Danny / Danny doesn't know Colleen came to see him, that isn't necessarily the end of their relationship. On Colleen's side, she's still suspicious of this entire Meachum mess - it RADIATES corruption and Colleen is very much entrenched in the downworld of NYC, where the rich powerful elite hurt the most. Plus, Danny doesn't give up on people easily and honestly, he kind of sucks at taking a hint - if he went off to some Rand business with the in with Joy, he would still end up in all the Harold mess, and probably at some point be on the run (maybe with another person - oooh, would love to see that AU - Joy or Ward or both in tow with Danny on the streets, fleeing trouble, Danny saying "I know a place") and showing up at Colleen's door, like "I know you don't want any part of this, and I don't mean to bring trouble to your door, but there's nowhere else to go," and Colleen being like "get in, quick," with her windows already half shuttered and supplies on the table because she was already investigating herself - (it could turn into a whole thing, with Colleen having connections that she thinks she can trust to help them against the big bad Harold/Meachum conspiracy, but then it's the Hand, and-!)

Danny: "The Meachum family might think I'm a threat to them." Colleen: "And why would they think that?" Danny: "Because I'm Danny Rand and I own more than half the company." Me: "And also because you stalked Joy, broke into her house and their offices, terrified and almost killed Ward???"

But anyway this is only gonna fuel Colleen's narrative that this is all greedy corporate machinations and bloody rich people politics. (Literally bloody. Literally murder people in a "problem solving" way kind of bloody.)

GODDDD Colleen is so hot in this scene when she walks into Joy's office with her pushed up sleeves on her chinese bomber jacket and her shirt tucked into her rolled up pants and - her hands in her pockets and that black bracelet and the belt - !

This argument between Joy and Ward is so emotionally charged - Ward's now in a desperate position because Joy has no way of knowing that she has just become an obstacle to something that he can't allow to happen - because Harold can not allow it to happen, and he's pulling Ward's strings, and then - ! "What are you so afraid of, Ward?" It's Harold, he's afraid of Harold. "You should be more like Dad." Ugh. ugh! Shot through the heart! "Grow some balls." I'm crying. They've both learned such terrible things from their father.

GDI DANNY the doctor BELIEVED you and then you had to go start talking about alternate planes of existence and the Iron Fist UGH he thinks you're just trying to cope with the trauma I - UGH.

This doctor is honestly trying to help but he's confirming all of Danny's fears from what Simon told him about how this place operates.

Ward regularly has to come up with ways to convince an entire board to do weird things that Harold asks - like purchase some random warehouses in Brooklyn - without even knowing why

Ward: "'Danny' is a threat to us, to our family, to our business, and the smartest solution - the one YOU taught me - is to get rid of the problem as expediently as possible!" Harold: "No, protect him." Ward: "WHY?! I am asking you why. Explain it to me! Because from where I'm standing, protecting him is dangerous, and getting rid of him is safe!" Harold: "Because I said so, that's why. Now heel." Honestly, of COURSE Ward takes this into his own hands.

Ah, yes, our first glimpse at Ward's drug addiction.

What is their plan????? Just beat him to death!? Can't make it quick - why?? Are they trying to make it look like a simple altercation between inmates???

"Ward Meachum sends his regards." God, that's so heartbreaking. The idea that not only does Ward believe Danny is an imposter and a threat, enough to try to kill him and then to send him to a mental institution - but that once he's there, out of harm's way, if he IS a mentally unstable imposter - OR once proof is starting to trickle to the Meachums (in colorful chocolate form) that he actually IS their old friend Danny - that Big Brother Ward would go out of his way to strike a deal with some "low life mental hospital thugs" to beat Danny to death?? This moment, to Danny, must feel like a bigger betrayal to Danny by Ward than anything else so far.

Danny, on all fours, looks up at the full moon outside the window, at the hawk silhouette streaking across it, and smiles. Hawk as Danny's spirit guide AU cont., but ALSO: WEREWOLF AU WEREWOLF AU WEREWOLF AU

Danny. Danny. Please run. Busting a huge hole in the wall made a very loud noise, please stop just standing there and giving people time to catch up.

[satans-helper]

Lovesick Songs

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x (F) Reader

Word Count: 1581

Warnings: get ready for your heart to ache. 

Requested by a lovely anon, thank you so much. This one kind of got away from me so I apologize if it’s a little less jubilant than you intended. I was in a mood when I wrote it. And now I only have myself to blame for yearning for this exact scenario. 

Note: on yet another read, I totally did not engage in giggling, lighthearted fun, but I hope you can forgive me. I need to wrangle in my yearning...

---

Hanging out with Jake was one of your favorite things in the world--after all, he was one of your closest friends. You could have fun with him doing just about anything--getting coffee, even though he would harp on you about going to chain coffee shops because they don’t have the “right” beans; kicking a soccer ball around in the backyard when boredom had superseded everything else; baking cookies or brownies or whatever other mixes you could find in the middle of the night when you couldn’t sleep. 

Jake was fun. Jake was fun and you loved him, loved him more than you knew you should and, as you two had gotten older, there were fewer fun times with just the two of you. At first it was okay, since you loved Josh, Sam and Danny too, but then Jake started getting girlfriends, or at least girls he was hanging out with who weren’t you, and he was busy with them, or he’d bring them around to hang out with all of you. You weren’t so fond of that. It was hard to see him with his arm around someone else; hard to see him kiss a girl, as you’d imagined him kissing you a thousand times.

But Jake had been single for a little while--finally--after a string of girlfriends that, for one reason or another, just didn’t work out. You jumped at the opportunity to have some alone time with him, and there he was, kneeling on your floor and looking through the crates of records in your living room.

“How do you not have any Eric Clapton?” he asked, his fingers rifling through the records quickly. “How have I not given you any Eric Clapton?”

You sank down next to him. “How have I not told you I don’t actually like Eric Clapton?”

Jake turned to you, pursing his lips and raising his eyebrows. “How dare you, Y/N.”

You snickered and leaned over him to grab the record you knew you wanted to play, your hip brushing against his shoulder. “You’ll like this, I promise,” you told him, standing up and taking the record out of its sleeve. When the music started to play, with its airy drums, languid guitar and bluesy vocals, you bobbed your head and then went to the kitchen. “Want a beer?”

“Please,” Jake called back. He was sitting on the couch when you returned, handing him the bottle, and he held it up to you. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” you agreed, clinking his. “To drinking beer on a Sunday afternoon.”

He laughed. “It’s pouring outside. I think we’re justified.”

You took a sip. “I agree.”

As the first song led into the second, Jake nodded. “I do like this, actually. What’s the band?”

“Alabama Shakes,” you answered, smiling triumphantly to yourself. “I told you.”

Jake smiled to himself, looking out the window, slightly bobbing his head to the music, too. You watched him as unobtrusively as you could, just wanting to look at his face. You loved his face. You loved his dark eyes and how they flashed hazel in the light; his cute nose, and you imagine how that would feel gently nudging against you if he ever kissed you; the carved cheekbones and carved brows to match, his face all angular yet so soft at the same time.

He caught your glance and chuckled. “What are you looking at?”

You looked away. “Nothing, Jake. Sure as hell wasn’t looking at you,” you said mockingly.

He laughed and put his hand on your thigh, though he quickly removed it and gestured to your beer. “Hey, finish that. I don’t want to be ahead of you all day.”

“I’ll finish it,” you said, picking it up and working on the last bit. “But you have to dance with me.”

Jake stood up, taking your hand, and brought you to the center of the living room. The rain was coming down hard, pattering against the windows and the roof, intercepting the sound of the music. But when you both started to sway, a little awkwardly, trying to work into a groove, the rain felt faraway. You were looking at Jake, watching him move, and letting yourself get loose. It took a minute but then your body was fluid with the song, your muscles light and free. Jake was dancing a little stiffly still, so you took his hands and moved him along with you. 

“I haven’t danced in a long time,” he said, glancing down at the floor before looking up at you again. 

“You never danced with your girlfriends?” you asked, not meaning to pry but feeling genuinely curious. It wasn’t often you and Jake danced either--it was more often than not you and Josh--but you knew if you were dating Jake, you’d want to be dancing with him all the time.

His cheeks flushed a bit, from embarrassment or the exertion of dancing you weren’t sure, and squeezed your hands before putting his on your waist. “Not really,” he answered. “Should I have?”

Jake’s hands on your waist had changed the tempo of your movements, so you placed your hands on his shoulders and kept your hips swaying. “Well, I really like dancing with you,” you replied. “Even if you sort of suck at it.”

He bit his bottom lip and gently pinched your side. “Maybe that’s why I don’t dance, Y/N.”

The next song began and as soon as you heard the first few lyrics you felt yourself blush, your grip on Jake’s shoulders wavering.

How was I supposed to know you was a heartbreaker?

I didn't know, I couldn't know.

Jake kept his eyes on you, though you preoccupied yourself with the floor for a moment, but when you looked up you met his gaze. He moved in close to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder. 

Was it by your sweet face or your eyes?

Oh, Lord, how was I supposed to know you gimme my heart aching?

You stilled for a second, confused by his actions. Jake had never been a touchy feely friend, as much as you’d always wanted him to be. You always knew he never liked you in that way. It was other girls he put his arms around, other girls whose hair his fingers trailed through, and you were always wanting to be those girls. 

Mama couldn't tell me about the feeling,

and all them lovesick songs,

well, they got true meaning.

When Jake stayed like that, gently swaying with you with his body flat against yours, his arms around you and his face against your neck, you weakened. Your arms moved from frigid on his shoulders to around his back, lightly digging your nails into his shoulder blade, your other hand was seemingly unable to stop itself from going for his hair, running your fingers through it, down his back. You rested your head on his shoulder, the two of you almost becoming one totally meshed form, and breathed in the scent of his hair and his skin, a deep sensory experience you felt you’d waited forever for.

You both were lost in the moment, just gently swaying and holding each other until the song ended. When it did, Jake eased back, moving one hand back down to your waist and the other one to the back of your neck, looking at you intently.

“Jake--” you started to say but stopped yourself. It would be a confession of your feelings if you kept talking and, even with whatever all that was, you didn’t think he felt the same. You sighed and stepped back. “Want another drink?”

As soon as you turned around you felt Jake’s hand on your wrist, then his arms were back around you, his hands over your chest, his chin on your shoulder. “You don’t want to keep dancing?” he asked softly, enveloping your even tighter, sighing against your neck.

You reached up and laid your hands over his. You’d imagined a moment not unlike that one before and the real-life, tactile experience of it was overwhelming. “Yeah, Jake,” you answered, lacing your fingers together. “I want to keep dancing.”

He began to sway again and hummed quietly against your neck, his lips so close to your skin that you felt your heart ache. You went with him, moving your hips, the music still playing, though you started to sway to the rhythm of his heart against your back instead, listening to his soft breaths next to your ear. 

“I think I only like dancing with you,” he whispered, nudging some of your hair away with his nose so his mouth was actually against your skin. “I’d like to do it again sometime.”

Your heart felt like it was going to stop entirely. You took a breath, your chest rising and falling under his hands, and turned your cheek a little to try and get a glimpse of him. “I would love that, Jake,” you replied, reaching one hand up to run through his hair and pause on the back of his neck. “You’re actually a really good dancer.”

You felt him smile against your skin, keeping one hand flat on your chest as the other ran up to your throat, then your jaw. He gently eased your face closer to his, you giving in with your whole body feeling completely enraptured by him, and placed a soft, lingering kiss to your cheek. “You’re better.”

---

Tagging:  @mountainofthesunn @bigthighsandstupidguys @camomillacatalina @saywecanart @dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade @kiszkawagnergvf @jeordinevankiszka

[grigori77]

Top 10 Horror Movies, like, EVER (reissued)

10.  THE MIST

In 2007, writer/director Frank Darabont once again proved he does his best work when adapting master of literary horror Stephen King (after The Green Mile and solid gold masterpiece The Shawshank Redemption), this time turning to pure horror with one of the author’s lesser-known early novellas.  The result is another tour-de-force cinematic blueprint, a taut, harrowing tale of humanity pushed far beyond the brink by unexplained supernatural events and the monstrous lengths normal people will go to to stay alive, as a small-town New England supermarket is cut off from the outside world by a mysterious, monster-filled mist.  The Expanse’s Thomas Jane proves a complex hero, beefy yet vulnerable as local artist David Drayton, leading a high-calibre cast of Stephen King-movie/TV regulars – Jeffrey DeMunn (The Green Mile), Andre Braugher (Salem’s Lot), William Sadler (The Shawshank Redemption) and Frances Sternhagen (Misery) – and “newcomers” – Laurie Holden (who must have really impressed Darabont, since he subsequently cast her alongside DeMunn in The Walking Dead), Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy’s Toby Jones (as one of the most unorthodox action heroes in cinematic history) and Miller’s Crossing’s Marcia Gay Harden, pretty much stealing the film as deeply unhinged Bible-basher Mrs Carmody, who goes from unsavoury town nut to fervent cult leader as the situation grows increasingly desperate.  Darabont once again proves what an exceptional screen storyteller he can be, effortlessly weaving an atmosphere of mounting dread and knife-edge tension, as well as delivering some nightmarish set-pieces featuring magnificent Lovecraft-inspired beasties designed by The Walking Dead’s creature effects master Greg Nicotero.  When cinematic horror was becoming increasingly saturated with “gorno” Saw-derivatives, this was a welcome return to old-fashioned monster movie thrills (Darabont himself was heavily inspired by the monochrome scary movies of his childhood, and longed to make the film in black-and-white – indeed, this is definitely worth watching at least once in the “director’s cut” B&W version he included on the special edition DVD release), and not only proved one of the best examples of King on screen to date, but also one of THE key horror movies of the “Noughties”. Not least thanks to that ending, one of the greatest sucker punch twists of all time – reputedly King was most envious of Darabont on seeing it for the first time, wishing he’d thought it up himself. Coming from the King of Horror, that’s high praise indeed.

9.  30 DAYS OF NIGHT

When Steve Niles, the undisputable master of post-modern horror comics, originally came up with the concept for his definitive work, it was intended for the big screen, but he ultimately wound up committing it to print because he just couldn’t get anyone to produce it.  Interesting, then, that the comic’s runaway success led to its optioning by Sam Raimi and his production company Ghost House Pictures, Niles adapting the first volume alongside Stuart Beattie and Brian Nelson, with Hard Candy director David Slade at the helm. Of course, the concept was always a killer – for one month every year, the sun never rises over the Alaskan town of Barrow, a fact that a coven of hungry vampires have decided to exploit in a midwinter free-for-all feeding frenzy.  Josh Hartnett manfully crumbles in what remains his best role as town sheriff Eben Olemaun, ably supported by Melissa George as his estranged fire-marshal wife Stella, Memento/Batman Begins’ Mark Boone Junior as hard-as-nails town loner Bo, Ben Foster (one of my very favourite actors) as a mysterious drifter with a dark agenda, and Danny Huston, who created one of the best ever screen vampires with nihilistic pack leader Marlow. It’s ironic that David Slade should have followed this with Twilight film Eclipse (although he was an inspired choice – after all, it’s the one that DOESN’T suck) – this is about as far removed from the toothless, blood-lite young adult series as you can get, an unrelenting, gore-drenched exercise in relentless carnage and ice-cold terror.  These vamps wouldn’t be caught (ahem) dead sparkling – they’re man-shaped mako sharks, all dead black eyes and jagged teeth, gleefully revelling in slaughter and playing sadistic games of cat and mouse with the isolated townsfolk.  This is definitely not a movie for the faint of heart, and it takes itself deadly seriously right through the unapologetically bleak ending, but it is nonetheless an endlessly rewarding thrill ride for the faithful, paying respect to all the great conventions of the genre while simultaneously ripping them to shreds.  Brutal, bloody and brilliant, this is BAR NONE the best vampire movie of the post-Interview age, and very nearly my all-time favourite EVER ...

8. POLTERGEIST

1982 saw the release of TWO of my all-time fave horror movies, and the lesser (but no less awesome) of the two is what I personally consider to be THE DEFINITIVE haunted house movie.  Tobe Hooper, director of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, pretty much reinvented ghosts on the big screen with this thrilling tale of a small-town-American family, the Freelings, whose seemingly perfect home comes under the influence of a powerful supernatural force.  At first the effects are harmless – moving furniture and the like – until a night-time thunderstorm signals a terrifying escalation and younger daughter Carol-Anne (Heather O’Rourke) is sucked through a portal into the spirit world.  Long before he was the dad in The Incredibles, Craig T. Nelson had already become a pretty definitive cuddly American screen father as Steven Freeling, while JoBeth Williams is a lioness defending her cubs as mother Diane; then-newcomer Heather O’Rourke, meanwhile, is a naturalistic revelation as Carol-Anne, her innocent delivery of “They’re here!” becoming a genuine geek phenomenon all on its own, but the film’s real runaway performance comes from Zelda Rubinstein as diminutive Southern belle psychic medium Tangina Barrons, whose every screen moment is a quirky joy.  As you’d expect, Hooper’s scares are flawlessly executed, the atmospheric tension ratcheted with consummate skill, even if the director’s characteristic gore is kept to a PG-13-friendly minimum ... then again, this was a summer offering from Back to the Future producers Frank Marshall and Steven Spielberg himself, who was also the main screenwriter. Indeed, his influence is keenly felt throughout – the suburban world the Freelings inhabit is very much in keeping with Spielberg classics like Close Encounters of the Third Kind and E.T. – and there have been consistent rumours that he was all but the de-facto director on set.  The film (along with its sequels) has also gained a reputation for being cursed, with no less than FOUR cast members dying not long after (most notably Dominique Dunne, who played elder Freeling daughter Dana, who was murdered by her boyfriend just five months after the film’s release).  Whatever the truth behind these rumours, there’s no denying this is a cracking film – taut, atmospheric and consistently terrifying while also displaying a playful, quirky sense of humour and lots of heart, it remains one of the most rewarding and entertaining screen ghost stories around.

7.  BUBBA HO-TEP

Bruce Campbell is Elvis Presley!  He really is!  Although maybe he isn’t ... all right, TECHNICALLY he’s Sebastian Haff, a washed-up, long-retired Elvis impersonator languishing in a retirement home who claims he really IS the King (apparently he swapped places with the REAL Haff because he’d grown tired of fame).  Meanwhile one of his fellow residents is an old black man who claims he’s the real JFK, maintaining that President Lyndon Johnson had him dyed black and secreted in anonymity with a bag of sand sewn into the gap in his brain ... confused yet? Well hold on, cuz there’s more – the retirement home in question has been invaded by the malevolent spirit of a cursed soul-sucking mummy, and only these two fallen heroes can save the day ... yup, writer/director Don (Phantasm and John Dies At the End) Coscarelli’s initially criminally overlooked but deservedly seriously cult adaptation of Joe R. Lansdale’s novel is as typically oddball as the rest of his filmography.  It’s also his most moving and spiritual work to date – behind all the supernatural weirdness and quirky, offbeat humour this is a deeply-affecting meditation on the pains of growing old and losing your place in the world.  Bruce Campbell’s Elvis/Haff is a tragic hero, regretting his current lot and pining for former glories, but he still has the odd little twinkle of his former charm and bravado (particularly during his interactions with his nurse, played with spiky gutsiness by Ella Joyce), while screen legend Ossie Davis is stately and charismatic as “the former President Kennedy”, even when he sounds REALLY crazy.  Meanwhile the creature, “Bubba Ho-Tep” himself (Bob Ivy), is a fantastically weird creation, Coscarelli’s skilful use of atmospherics elevating him far above the “guy-in-a-suit” effects – he’s mean, cranky, and just as strong a character as his flesh-and-blood counterparts.  Coscarelli really let rip on this one – it’s chock-full of his characteristic leftfield comic-scariness (Elvis/Haff’s early encounter with one of the mummy’s scarab familiars is a particular zany gem), visually inventive and frequently laugh-out-loud hilarious, but in the end plays out on such a heartfelt, genuinely powerful and moving denouement that you can’t help getting a lump in your throat, even while it is one of those movies that leaves you with a big dumb goofy grin on your face.  It’d be pretty sweet if Coscarelli and his mate Paul Giamatti ever get their long-gestating “prequel” Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires off the ground, but this is one that you can’t help loving all on its own.  See this if you’re a Coscarelli fan – it’s his best work to date – see this if you love quirky, unusual and original horror ... hell, see this if you love MOVIES. This is a true GEM, not to be missed.

6.  DOG SOLDIERS

My favourite werewolf movie is also easily one of the most offbeat – think The Howling meets Assault On Precinct 13 and you’re pretty close to the mark.  Before visionary British horror director Neil Marshall had his big break with masterpiece The Descent, he made an impressive cult splash with his feature debut, a fiendish comedy horror in which a six-man British Army unit on training manoeuvres in the wilds of Scotland stumbles upon a pack of hungry werewolves and are forced to take shelter in an isolated cottage.  With their ammo dwindling and their weapons largely ineffective against the monsters (not a silver bullet between them, of course), it doesn’t look likely that ANY of will survive the night ... setting the humour dial for JET BLACK, Marshall keeps the atmosphere tense and the substantial gore flying (I was amazed when I saw this in the cinema that it was only a 15 – even just ten years earlier stuff like this was GUARANTEED a solid 18 certificate), while the squaddies are a likeably foul-mouthed bunch with a winning, sometimes enjoyably geeky line in spiky banter (Marshall makes frequent references to everything from Star Trek and The Evil Dead to The Matrix and, in one of my favourite nods, Zulu).  Trainspotting’s Kevin McKidd is brawny but enjoyably self-deprecating as nominal hero Cooper, Sean (son of Doctor Who Jon) Pertwee gives great earthy-shoutiness as Sgt. Wells, Darren Morfitt consistently steals the film as mouthy little bugger “Spoon” (short for Witherspoon), and Game Of Thrones star Liam Cunningham injects a strong dose of dark and dangerous as Captain Ryan, the special forces operative with a sinister plan, while Emma Cleasby is far from just a token female as zoologist Megan, who came to Scotland in search of the legend and seems to have found a whole lot more than she bargained for – she’s smart, tough and flat-out refuses to be a love interest, and definitely proved a good trial run for Marshall’s all-female cast in The Descent.  It’s impressively paced – after an initial character-driven set-up so we can get to know the lads (including a fun little scare-on-top-of-a-laugh moment), the action kicks in fast and rarely lets up for the rest of the film’s tightly-packed 105 minute running time.  The set pieces are thrilling and frequently fun (particularly Spoon’s ballsy little distraction technique), and the werewolves are impressively brought to life through physical animatronics created by Image FX (the Hellraiser effects team!) and a talented troupe of stilt-walking stunt performers – no cheesy CGI here!  Altogether it marked a blinding debut for a singular, visionary sci-fi/horror talent who’s still making his presence felt – Doomsday was a delightfully old-school slice of super violent sci-fi in the John Carpenter vein, while tight, gruesome little Roman-era suspense thriller Centurion proved that a historical epic doesn’t have to be 2+ hours long with a big budget to impress, and Marshall continues to garner real acclaim through his extensive TV work on the likes of Game of Thrones. That said, I can’t wait for him to return to the big screen, preferably with more dark, edgy, blood-soaked fun like this ...

5. TREMORS

I’ve always had something of a bias towards horror movies that are also comedies, or at least that have a strong sense of humour throughout, and when it comes to funny horror movies, this brilliant throwback to cheesy 1950s monster movies is KING, baby!  While it snuck in under the radar on its 1990 release, director Ron Underwood’s sleeper universally wowed critics, word of mouth helping it to become an impressive cult smash once it hit home video ... which meant I saw it at JUST the right time, the film quickly becoming a firm fixture in my favourites lists and a major milestone in my own geek development.  The premise is simplicity itself – giant underground worms with tentacles in their mouths terrorise an isolated desert community – but underneath the goofy concept is a surprisingly sophisticated movie that continues to influence filmmakers today.  Kevin Bacon was in a bit of a career slump at the time (Footloose had been SO LONG before), but this gave him both the shot in the arm he needed and one of his most memorable roles ever – odd-jobbing slacker Val McKee, who has to get off his arse and think big to beat the beasties; Fred Ward is the perfect foil as Val’s crotchety “business” partner Earl Basset, while Finn Carter is thoroughly lovable as scientist Rhonda LeBeck, a no-nonsense smart girl who can go toe-to-toe with the boys (and manages to lose her pants WITHOUT losing her credibility), but the film is consistently stolen by Family Ties star Michael Gross as tightly wound survivalist Burt Gummer – this might be Bacon’s movie, but Gross is the real star, deservedly becoming the driving force of the film’s various sequels AND the spinoff TV series.  The film opens with a killer of a funny line, starting as it means to go on – frequently hilarious and smart as a whip, consistently defying character and genre tropes and wrong-footing the viewer almost a decade before Joss Whedon started doing the same with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, all the while balancing the belly laughs with some genuinely scary set pieces.  The worms themselves (or “Graboids”, if you want to get specific) are spectacular creations, some of the most original movie monsters out there, and they still stand up well today, just like the rest of the film.  A cornerstone of the genre that wins over new fans with each generation, this is one of those films that deserves to be remembered for a very long time, and looks set to do just that. 

4.  EVIL DEAD 2: DEAD BY DAWN

Nobody does screen chaos like Sam Raimi, particularly when it comes to his horror offerings – still his first and purest love. His original debut feature The Evil Dead is rightly considered the DEFINITIVE indie horror, and to this day remains the standard blueprint for all young, aspiring directors starting out in the genre ... it’s also a work of pure, unadulterated MADNESS once it gets going.  Raimi upped the ante with this part-remake, part-sequel, the increased budget and proper studio resources meaning he could REALLY let his imagination run riot, and the results are a cavalcade of tongue-clean-THROUGH-cheek, jet black comedic insanity that STILL has yet to be equalled.  Bruce Campbell returns as unlikely “hero” Ash Williams, thoroughly out of his depth and failing miserably to hold it together as the ancient tome of evil itself, the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis (“Book of the Dead”), unleashes a horde of undead demons on the isolated forest cabin he’s brought his girlfriend to.  Wildly expanding on the supernatural back-story of his original, Raimi and co-writer Scott Spiegel also ramped up the humour, playing the horror on the blackest edge they can, albeit cut with a hefty dose of Tex Avery – Ash’s battle with his own possessed, eventually severed hand is like some demented skit out of The Three Stooges, while the absolute comedic highlight is the ridiculously over-the-top “laughing room” sequence, in which the seemingly inanimate objects in the cabin suddenly come to life and begin to taunt Ash; add in the great wealth of re-view-friendly visual in-jokes scattered throughout and this remains Raimi’s FUNNIEST film to date. Campbell clearly had a ball, throwing himself into the action with everything he had, and he’s ably supported by a meaty (ahem) cast that includes a very pre-Slither Dan Hicks as a seriously scuzzy redneck and Raimi’s own brother Ted, virtually unrecognisable as one of the maniacal Deadites (“I’ll swallow your soul!”).  The creature effects from the great Greg Nicotero still stand up spectacularly well today (they remain some of his very best work), from hideous gurning beasts to insane fountains of blood, while Raimi’s direction is pitch-perfect, playing the humour beautifully while still (sometimes simultaneously) building up a near-unbearable atmosphere of unholy dread, and the climax is ingenious, beautifully setting things up for the enjoyably madcap trilogy-closer Army of Darkness: the Medievil Dead.  Raimi has finally brought the trilogy the follow-up fans had been waiting decades for with the fantastically bonkers Ash Vs. the Evil Dead series, but this delirious masterpiece remains the franchise’s zenith.  Groovy ...

3.  JAWS

It may be the oldest film on this list (released in 1975, it’s THREE YEARS OLDER than I am!), but Steven Spielberg’s breakthrough feature has aged incredibly well.  Indeed, it almost single-handedly changed the face of big budget cinema, establishing the idea of tent-pole summer blockbusters and blanket-bombardment advertising campaigns (in particularly it was one of the first to make heavy use of television to drum up excitement and interest), ultimately taking over $400,000,000 on its original release (the equivalent of multi-billion big earners like Avatar today) and paving the way for Star Wars two years later.  Not to mention the film’s famous negative effect on beach-going for years after ... but under all that there’s a magnificent, masterfully-crafted film, still (rightly) considered one of the director’s best.  The plot may be ridiculously simple – New England beach-community Amity Island is terrorised by a man-eating Great White shark – but there’s a stealthily subversive story here, taking old genre conventions and twisting them in new, unexpected directions (which would, ironically, form a template for a great many later horror movies); while the first hour is a slow-burn thriller, the second is more like a light-hearted nautical action adventure with added scares. The French Connection’s Roy Scheider virtually CREATED the everyman-out-of-his-depth hero with his portrayal of Amity police chief Martin Brody, a former New York cop who’s terrified of the water, Richard Dreyfuss is lovable comedic gold as rich kid marine biologist Matt Hooper, Lorraine Gary did a lot with very little as Brody’s wife Ellen, and Robert Shaw effortlessly steals the film as shark hunter Quint, a ferocious, scenery-chewing force of nature in the mould of Moby Dick’s Captain Ahab.  The film is immensely rich in great character moments, from Hooper’s rib-tickling arrival on the island and the dialogue-free moment Brody shares with his younger son Sean, to the undeniable high point of the film, where a humorous comparison of scars (which has itself become a popular homage-magnet in film and TV) leads to Quint chilling account of his wartime experience onboard the U.S.S. Indianapolis (the ship transporting the Hiroshima atomic bomb which was torpedoed in the Pacific, leading to over a thousand stranded sailors being eaten alive by sharks); indeed, this is one of Spielberg’s most well-written films, sitcom writer Carl (The Odd Couple) Gottlieb’s polish of author Peter Benchley’s adaptation of his own original novel still zipping and zinging today, although some of the best dialogue was derived from the actors’ own on-set improvisations (most famously Scheider’s now-legendary “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”).  It’s also one of his most well-directed, with near-hypnotic tricks in editing and bold, adventurous choices in atmosphere-building, often a result of the shoot’s infamous difficulties – the animatronic shark (affectionately named “Bruce” by the director, and “the Great White Turd” by the crew) created by Bob Mattley (the guy who did the giant squid in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea) was impressive when it worked, but this was so rarely that the director had to devise several means of creating maximum tension WITHOUT showing the shark, which ultimately ADDS to the effectiveness of those scenes, particularly the “barrel-chasing” in the second half.  None of these tricks, however, work better than the score from Spielberg’s most faithful collaborator, John Williams, based around a deceptively simple four-note melody that evolves into something spectacularly evocative, which has rightly become the film’s most iconic element.  Humorous, intriguing, intense and still thoroughly terrifying when it wants to be, this is, bar-none, the finest man-versus-nature horror EVER MADE, and surely always will be.

2.  NEAR DARK

I’m a fool for vampires (much like I’m a fool for redheads, but that’s a whole other conversation), so bloodsucker horror is one of my very favourite sub-genres.  I’m also a big fan of Kathryn Bigelow – two of her most recent features, The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty, both pinged VERY LOUDLY on my radar (the former is my favourite war movie of the current decade), while her collaboration with then husband James Cameron, Strange Days (he wrote, she directed), rates high on my list of criminally underrated screen gems.  So what do you think happened when she made a vampire movie?  The results SHOULD have become one of the most celebrated and legendary features in the genre ... except that it came out in October 1987, two months after the admittedly cool and fun but far more glossy and dumb The Lost Boys.  Needless to say in the wake of that, Bigelow’s film got kind of lost in the back chatter, nearly flopping at the box office and all but vanishing into obscurity ... until its subsequent release on video (quite rightly) earned it an impressive cult following.  Myself included, because this movie is RIGHT UP my dark and dangerous alley.  Collaborating with The Hitcher’s screenwriter Eric Red, Bigelow crafted a (largely) deadly serious modern day supernatural “western”, in which cocky farm-boy Caleb Colton (Heroes’ Adrian Pasdar) hits on cute drifter Mae (Jenny Wright, probably best known for her supporting turn in Young Guns 2), only to get WAY more than he bargained for when her kiss leaves him with a crippling hunger and one serious tanning problem.  Pasdar’s all-knowing youthful swagger disintegrates as he tumbles further down the vampiric rabbit hole, while Wright’s fragile beauty compliments her character’s deep, soulful melancholy – the pair make for a compelling, tragic romantic centre anchoring the horrors that unfold as Caleb begins to lose himself to his burgeoning nature; even so, the true dark and twisted soul of the film lies with Mae’s predatory nomad “family” – Lance Henriksen is the definitive “dark father” as nihilistic pack leader Jesse Hooker, while his Aliens co-star Jenette Goldstein is his perfect mate as punk rock femme fatale Diamondback, and Joshua John Miller excels as Homer, the bitter old man trapped in a child’s body ... meanwhile Bill Paxton consistently steals the film as mad dog Severen, chewing the scenery to splinters with gleeful, feral aplomb and stealing all the best lines.  It’s a potent, heady ride, taking itself pretty seriously throughout but deriving a subtle, inky black sense of gallows humour from the situation, and the set-pieces are intense and thrilling (particularly the shootout in a roadside motel at dawn, where shafts of sunlight become as lethal as bullets).  At times it’s also powerful, soulful and bleakly beautiful, Bigelow’s heavily stylised visuals brilliantly augmented by the spiky electronic score from Tangerine Dream. It also subverts the classic vampire conventions with great skill and originality, with nary a cross, coffin or even fang in sight.  Like 30 Days of Night, this is the perfect antidote for anyone suffering from Twilight-overload – the monster can be quite interesting when he’s the hero, but he’s just so much more fun when he’s the bad guy ...

1.  JOHN CARPENTER’S THE THING

While I’m sure many will think I’m mad for preferring this over Carpenter’s other seminal horror classic Halloween, this one’s much more my speed, a perfect exercise in sustained tension, paranoia and white-knuckle terror. Critically mauled and under-performing on its release (it was labelled by many as a sort of “anti-E.T.: the Extraterrestrial”, which came out two weeks earlier ... and interestingly this opened the same day as Blade Runner!), it nonetheless became a massive cult hit now rightly considered one of the true DEFINITIVE horror movies.  Faithfully adapting John Campbell, Jr.’s novella Who Goes There? (certainly more so than Howard Hawks’ admittedly entertaining but ultimately very kitsch The Thing From Another World), it revolves around the all-male crew of U.S. research station 4, Outpost 31, in Antarctica, who come under threat from a body-snatching alien entity that can perfectly imitate its victims after investigating the mysterious destruction of a neighbouring Norwegian facility.  Carpenter regular Kurt Russell (Escape From New York, Big Trouble In Little China) is at his gruff best as helicopter pilot R.J. MacReady, the taciturn blue-collar Joe called upon to play “hero”, Keith David (Pitch Black, Carpenter’s They Live) angrily flexes his acting and physical muscles as hot-tempered researcher Childs, Donald Moffat crumbles as ineffectual station commander Garry, and screen legend Wilford Brimley effortlessly makes the exposition compelling as tightly-wound biologist Blair.  The freezing Antarctic atmosphere perfectly complements the razor-edged suspense, the idea that ANYONE could be the creature lending every scene a palpable sense of implied threat, while the science of the fiction is thankfully largely put on the back-burner in favour of the story and scares; meanwhile there’s a cheeky edge of jet black humour throughout, from the scuttling disembodied head to Garry’s explosive reaction to MacReady’s improvised humanity-test.  Rob (The Howling, Robocop, Fight Club) Bottin’s fantastically nightmarish creature effects are a magnificent achievement, still looking as good today as they did back in 1982, while master composer Ennio Morricone’s subtle, atmospheric score is a triumph of creepy, insidious subliminal effect.  For me, this film is the definition of fear – the idea that the threat could be literally ANYONE, that you could even become that yourself, be taken over completely, body and soul, is absolutely terrifying, and Carpenter executes this potential reality with surgical precision from the intriguing, icy start to the bleak, desolate ending.  Perfect.