#love Ashton very dearly but hes a dummy

[bentannin]

I will say the one thing I did not expect when the vod released on Monday was for the Ashton takes to swing in the OPPOSITE direction.

And while I definitely agree that some of the initial reactions after ep 77 & 78 ranged from concerning to just plain bad (harsh but some of them were genuinely bonkers; sending hate to Tal, painting characters as straight up abusive and manipulative, referencing one of the player’s irl trauma), the new wave of “Ashton did nothing wrong” isn’t exactly much better.

By their own admission, they fucked up. BIG TIME. They disregarded all the warnings and made a big decision without the rest of the group’s knowledge. And not only that, but he actively hides it from them. They have every right to be upset. And when you’ve just experienced a minute of watching helplessly as your friend rapidly loses and regains consciousness, has his arm fall off, and literally bursts into a million pieces right in front of you, it makes sense that you’d react pretty negatively. And while many of the things the Hells told Ashton were harsh, they weren’t completely unfounded.

Has Ashton shown to care about FCG and their well-being multiple times over the course of the campaign? Yes, absolutely. So when you look at their conversation from Ashton’s perspective, of course FCG accusing him of caring about no one would hurt. Of course, because, when asked to name at least one person, there was no hesitation when he said “you [FCG]”.

But when you look at it from FCG’s perspective, it’s a different story:

He was there when they were all given the warnings about the shard. He was there when, over and over and over again, they were told putting two shards within the same body, especially Ashton’s body which already holds two beings (the empress and the half-beacon), would sunder that body. And he was also there when it was decided the shard would go to Fearne, not Ashton.

So, with only that information and having no way of knowing any conversations between Fearne and Ashton (where she says she doesn’t want it, where Ashton says he does, and they decide Ashton will receive it instead), when they walk up the steps of the ziggurat and see Ashton, their friend, glowing and falling apart in immense agony, of course the only things they would feel in the moment are horror and confusion.

And after a minute of desperately trying to keep them alive, of burning his hands on their sweltering skin just to pump in enough health points to keep them standing, because, if he doesn’t, if he fails, Ashton will die with no way of bringing them back, of course FCG would feel hurt.

And not just hurt, but betrayed, because who does that?!

Who puts everyone who cares about them through that? Who looks at every warning and completely disregards them, and then LAUGHS after they’ve just forced their friends to watch as they nearly killed themselves?

The answer, at least to FCG, is no one; no one who cares about their friends would do that to them, so the only conclusion he can come to in a moment wrought with such intense emotion and turmoil is that Ashton clearly doesn’t care.

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Basically what I’m trying to say is, the Hells are allowed to be upset. They are allowed to express that they are upset. And Ashton, for as much as I love his character and understand the events that led to this major fuck up moment, is just gonna have to take it.

They shouldn’t be punished by any means because they are still a deeply hurt and sad person, but they shouldn’t be completely excused either. What they did was extremely stupid, and the ONLY thing that kept them alive and kept the Hells from losing him, was the love from their friends and probably the luckiest ring trade ever made (long live Aabria).

And yes, the Hells are being hypocrites, they’re all either on similar paths of self-destruction or enabling them, but almost losing Ashton has clearly started to open their eyes. Hopefully the retreat allows them all to process and decompress in order to address that hypocrisy with clearer heads! But for now, it’s just gonna be the initial anger.