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the-walking-memelords · 5 years ago

Text

Our History

A Co-Written story by me and @journalofthedead

Rated: T

Pairings: Louis/Aasim

Word Count: 5339

An assortment of entries from Aasim's history book since the beginning of the apocalypse.

Read it on Ao3!

Year 1, Mid Summer

Something weird happened today.

We were in math class working on the sheets Mr. McKenna gave us when in the middle of it he told us all we had to go back to our dorms. I looked at Jasper and she just shrugged.

When we walked across the campus it was like every kid in school was out there. I lost Jasper in the crowd, so I just found my way back to my dorm on my own.

It’s been hours and no one is allowed to leave the dormitory buildings, so I went to the common room to see if anyone knew what was happening. A few teachers are practically guarding all the exits and Louis said when he went to ask about dinner they just told him to go back and wait.

People are saying it’s a lockdown drill or the real thing, but this isn’t anything like the drills we’ve had before.

I’m scared.

Year 1, Mid Summer

I woke up really hungry. They never let us eat dinner last night, so hopefully, they’ll make up for it with breakfast.

They’re all gone. All the teachers. I’ve asked everyone I could find and no one has seen anyone. Most of the kids took this as an opportunity to bolt, but thankfully Louis is still here. Jasper stuck around as well, so did the twins, their brother, and Violet, and a bunch of others. There used to be over a hundred kids here, now there’s only about thirty.

We found one teacher, or well, a nurse. Ms. Martin seems to be the only one still here. She said there’s something happening in the cities and the other staff went to check on family since no calls are getting through. She says they’ll come back, but who knows.

Louis, Marlon and I snuck into the headmaster’s office. Lou’s been dialling the phone for hours trying to call his mom but nothing’s going through. Maybe she’ll come to get him. I wonder if she’d take me too, I don’t think my dad would care.

Year 1, Mid Summer

The power went out today and Ms. Martin couldn’t figure out why. Doesn’t surprise me though, she’s a nurse, not a maintenance woman. I suppose all we can do is wait and see if it comes back on.

No one’s come back yet. Not staff. No parents. No one. Everyone is on edge and a few of them want to go out and see what’s happening in the nearby town. Ms. Martin’s going to have one hell of a time keeping everyone here.

Someone came to the gate this afternoon. No one any of us knew, just some random guy. He looked gross all his clothes were covered in mud. Ms. Martin told us all to stay back which was fine by me cause I didn’t want to get anywhere near that guy anyway. He was banging on the gate and the way he spoke… it wasn’t even like words… just animal noises almost.

Jasper… Jasper’s dead. That man killed her.

She kept trying to talk to him… something about him being hurt I think she said.

Ms. Martin tried to stop her but she just wanted to help him… and when she opened the gate he just jumped on her. I didn’t see exactly what happened next. I just… couldn’t watch. I closed my eyes and covered my ears but I could still hear all the screaming. Jasper’s and everyone else’s.

I don’t remember what happened after that. I’m in my room now. Louis is on the other bunk leaning against the wall. He’s quiet for once, which isn’t good. “She didn’t make it.” was all he had to say. I don’t know what to say or if I can even say anything. I’m still shaking so much. My face is wet so I know I’ve been crying.

Maybe if I go to sleep I’ll wake up from this nightmare.

Year 1, Late Summer

I didn’t understand what was going on at first, I thought it was a hoax… Some sick game, but that changed when Erin was bitten, no one knew… We were walking back to the dorms together, Erin was acting so weird. “Are you alright?” I asked her, hoping to get an honest genuine reply. Erin didn’t respond to me, she just went into her room and shut the door quietly behind her.

Later that evening, Ms. Martin asked me to go check on Erin. She didn’t show up for dinner, some were more worried than the others, Erin and I weren’t close but we still talked. I knocked gently on her door, not wanting to upset her even more. Silence filled the hallway before there was a dull thud inside the room.

“Erin?” I called, knocking a bit harder this time. I didn’t know what was going on, at the time I thought she fell. That wasn’t the case of course, without thinking I twisted the knob, surprised that it wasn’t locked.

I took a breath and walked in.

“Erin?” I called again, looking around the darkroom. Where was she? The sounds of growling and snarling made the hairs on the back of my neck raise, I looked to my left and gasped loudly. Erin’s blonde hair was dull, falling out of her bun, her blue-rimmed glasses laid on the ground. The most shocking thing was her eyes, the light green eyes that used to shine with life were now dull and pale, almost white.

She became one of those things we’ve been seeing in the woods. One of those things that killed Jasper. I slammed the door shut before she got to me and I heard her pounding on the other side. I just ran to Ms. Martin.

You have to go for the head… that’s what we’ve figured out… but I didn’t want to be the one to kill her.

We’re all going to sleep in the Admin Building tonight.

Year 1, Early Fall

Ms. Martin died today. She sacrificed herself to save us… I didn’t know how to really feel, a part of me felt guilty, I could’ve done something, but I listened to what she told us, get the others and get out of there. During her funeral all I could think about was the what if’s, Ruby tried to talk some sense into me and pull me out of my funk, all I felt was guilt though.

Year 1, Early Fall

One day later, Louis confronts me in our shared room. “What is it?” I grumbled at him, at the time I didn’t really want to talk to anyone. Louis gave me a look, something about that look he gave me stopped me in my tracks. I oddly felt warm and safe in his presence, it was a bit annoying but I felt at peace at that moment.

“You need to snap out of it,” Louis told me, crossing his arms. I was surprised at his behaviour, Louis was never this serious. I liked this serious side of him and I wasn’t going to admit that to anyone. I left the room today with Louis, the conversation we had while walking outside was one I would always remember.

I think Louis and I became really close friends today, even though Louis can be a bit much at times. I find his company to be nice, something I want to keep around.

Year 1, Mid Winter

It’s so fucking cold!

Yet again it seems like I’m the only one that cares about having enough food for this school! Marlon doesn’t know what he’s doing! He calls himself a good leader? I think he’s full of shit, I mean we should be out there hunting and making traps. Marlon doesn’t get it, this snow will only get heavier and it will get colder.

Louis isn’t helping either, he keeps throwing shit at me and I really want to throat punch him. How is that I’m the sensible one here? Sometimes I wonder why I wasn’t made the leader? Not to toot my own horn, I’m definitely a better leader than the rat and by the rat I mean Marlon.

The food supply is getting low, tracks are getting covered by the snowfall. I can’t help but feel restless, we needed food to survive. Marlon needed to get his ass in gear, open his eyes to see that this plan of his isn’t working and that he needed to do better if we wanted to survive the winter.

Year 1, Mid Winter

We brought back a decent amount of food today from the hunt this afternoon, Marlon actually listened to one of my plans. I was shocked when he listened, I for one didn’t expect him to listen to me at all. My shock only grew even more as I was heading out with Mitch and Brody to go hunt.

It felt good to be listened to for once, the look of pride on Louis’ face that day made me a bit giddy. (Still not telling a soul about that either.)

The look on Omar’s face was priceless, I’ve never seen him so happy to cook something warm. Dinner was amazing tonight, Omar is a god when it came down to cooking. It made me wonder though, why was Omar sent to this school again? Whatever, that's a story for another day, well maybe. Who knows? Maybe Omar will tell us? Maybe not.

Year 2, Early Spring

I guess the one good thing about the entire forest being turned into a giant mud pit is that the animals are easier to track. I have to give Louis credit for his snares since they do a pretty good job catching rabbits. If only he’d kill them himself instead of making me do it though, I hate it as much as he does but we’ve gotta eat after all.

One of the many bad things about the entire forest being turned into a giant mud pit is that it’s slippery as shit and Louis would rather laugh at me than help me up.

Year 2, Mid Summer

A big thunderstorm stopped us from hunting today. I should be disappointed, but I’m not. I feel so calm, the sounds of the beating rain against the windows made me smile. Before I was sent here, I would sneak outside and just watch the rain.

My parents thought I was weird for doing this. I didn’t care what they thought of me, it wasn’t like they paid much attention to me anyway. I have this hate for them, I know I’m probably acting like a child but I don’t care.

They left me here. I hope karma bites them in the ass.

Year 2, Late Summer

The nightmares came back. They were worse this time around, it’s gotten to the point that I am afraid to fall asleep at night. I knew Louis was worried about me I could see it on his dumb face, though it felt nice to have someone worry about you.

“I miss cartoons,” Louis told me when I woke up in a hurry. That threw me off, normally I would give a snarky come back to his banter. This time I actually let him ramble on, it was comforting to hear him just… Talk.

I hope that one day I could have his enthusiasm.

Okay, that’s a lie. I honestly do not think I could handle being that enthusiastic about everything. It makes me wonder though, how does Louis hold this much energy?

Year 3, Mid Summer

Louis made a weapon today. Oddly enough it’s a chair leg, named Chairles. Louis has quite the imagination when it comes to anything and everything, I like that about Louis, despite that it’s pretty weird to name your weapon, but who am I to judge?

'Chairles' is a chair leg, out of all weapons he could make. Louis chooses a chair leg. Though I have to admit, Chairles suits him, Louis seems comfortable with the weapon and I'm not lying when I say Louis has a good swing.

I’ll stick with my bow, I’ve gotten better with my aim.

Year 4, Mid Summer

It’s been a while since my last entry, a long while. I’ve been thinking about my sisters lately. I miss them. Every little thing reminds me of them, I haven’t been sleeping much because of this. When I close my eyes, I see them. The dreams happen quickly, but I remember every painful detail about my vivid dreams.

First I was sitting under a tree with them, the big oak tree that was in the middle of the park by our house. We were laughing about some stupid joke, then the scene changed to something bloody. My sisters smiling faces turned to horror and pain, all that blood, it was like I was frozen. I couldn’t help them, I just stood there, watching as walkers tore them apart. I tried to help them, but it was too late.

I’m so tired. Afraid to sleep. I don’t want to have the same nightmare again.

Why can’t I just have some peaceful sleep?

Year 4, Mid Summer

It’s been five days since I’ve gotten any sleep. Everything around me is hazy and muffled. Ruby says I need to rest, but I have to work. I can’t sit out for a day and I really don’t need Marlon on my ass again.

Breakfast is almost ready.

The smell is making my stomach churn. My headache is getting worse too.

What’s going on…

Year 4, Late Summer

Louis has been stern with my sleeping schedule. It can get aggravating at times, but who am I to complain? I haven’t been taking care of myself so Louis stepped in to smack some sense into me. Though I am thankful. I lost myself, all because of those damn nightmares.

"You need to keep your head up high."

Louis tells me every morning, I thought I would find it annoying by now. Though I didn't, his words were comforting and I used them, every day.

Louis will never know.

I don't need to be teased relentlessly, again.

Year 5, Late Summer

The traps have been getting emptier and emptier over the last couple weeks. I don’t know if the rabbits are getting smarter or the walkers are eating them before we get the chance.

I caught myself staring at the firepit last night. It’s not good. I don’t want to fall back onto old habits. Sometimes if I can’t sleep I find myself fiddling with my matchbook. I’ve been able to stop myself from lighting one, but it’s getting really tempting lately. Matches are too important to just throw away.

Maybe I could ask Louis to just hold onto them for me. I don’t want him to worry though. The school’s old psychologist said I’d been “Cured” and wanted to send me home. I don’t want Lou to think I’m turning back into some crazy pyromaniac on the verge of burning down the school.

I just need to get a hold of myself.

Year 5, Late Summer

I broke. I lit one of the matches.

I watched the small flame flicker down the wooden stick until it burnt the tips of my fingers. I dropped it on the floor and stomped on it but now there’s a small black scorch mark by the side of my bunk.

I hope no one notices it.

Year 5, Early Fall

I fucked up.

I fucked up so fucking bad.

I’m not sure what came over me, to be honest, I don't entirely remember what happened. I think I just had too many bad days lately. This is all my fault, preaching how we need to work as a group and then isolating myself like this and now…

Tennessee might not make it.

I’m locked in my room right now because the twins have a hard time looking at me without attacking me. Totally justifiable, I’m just as disgusted and angry with me as they are.

It was dark out, and I remember it was cold. I couldn’t sleep so I went walking around the school. I was in the art room. Dust covered easels and dried up paint all over the place. It was so cold, unusual for so early, the leaves had barely changed colour. I either couldn’t or just didn’t think

I lit a fire.

Small, paper scraps and paintbrushes in an old clay bowl on the table. I couldn’t stop looking at it. I began to stick things into the flames and just fuck around.

I didn’t even know Tenn was in there. Maybe he couldn’t sleep and went hunting for art supplies or something I don’t know.

“Aasim?” His sudden voice scared the hell out of me and I dropped a flaming ruler on the ground. The thing nearly set my pants on fire on the way down but I jumped away.

Watching the debris on the floor quickly catch is where things begin to get hazy again. I got out fine. My throat is scratchy from the smoke but that's nothing compared to the poor kid. I didn’t get a good look at him but I could smell it. Burns all on the side of his head. Ruby and the twins are with him right now, but she isn't a doctor.

I wonder if they’ll kick me out if he dies, or kick me out anyways. I’ll go if that's what they want. Louis hasn’t come by our room yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if he hates me too.

Year 6, Early Fall

Hunting has been stressful lately. Louis has been sick for the past week, leaving me hunting with Marlon. Oh, the joy.

Not.

I can't stress enough how annoying Marlon is, not only that he is an egotistical asshole. There isn't a time where I don't want to punch Marlon in the throat.

Why is the leader? He has no leadership skills or qualities. Marlon is going to get himself killed one day and it wouldn't surprise me one bit.

Marlon is an idiot. How could Louis be friends with that?

Seriously. Marlon can fuck off. Twat.

Year 6, Mid Fall

Hunting has been better. I had Louis back with me, I could actually smile again without having thoughts of killing a boy that looked like a road kill rat.

I never really thought that I would miss hunting with Louis this much. But I did. That damn smile…

What am I saying?

Anyway.

Hunting has been better, we managed to snag a buck and a few rabbits. It should last us for a while.

That's all I hope for. Among other things.

As long as I don't have to hunt with fucking Marlon again.

Year 7, Early Fall

Minerva and Sophie died today. They went scouting past the Safe Zone with Marlon and Brody and were killed by walkers. Violet and Tennessee went back to their dorms and won't talk to anyone, but you can hear the crying echoing off the walls. I tried talking to Louis but he's acting distant. He won't even talk to Marlon. I don't blame him, he and Minerva were close.

I just hope he knows I'm here for him.

Year 7, Mid Summer

I found Louis in the music room today, hardly a surprise since he practically lives at that piano bench. He was playing, but it wasn't really a song. It sounded like he was just randomly pressing keys. Broken melody fragments. Reminded me of what he sounded like when he was first learning. He didn't look at me when I walked in, so I figured I'd just find the book I was looking for and give him some space.

He called my name just as I passed him, and started playing an actual song. It was a nursery rhyme. Literally just "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," He asked me to guess the name and of course, I got it right, so he played another. Eventually moved on to some classical pieces and a few I remembered hearing on the radio as a kid. I guessed… most of the names right.

It's a game we've played often. He plays and I guess. I've gotten better over the years, he tends to play a few of his favourites over so I've memorized a lot of them.

It's nice to hear him play for me again. The school is mostly moving on from what happened to the twins, and it's nice to see this dork smile again.

Year 8, Late Summer

I don't know who's the bigger idiot, Louis, or me. We're out alone in the middle of the woods trying to find some dinner and he just blurts out: "So, 'Sim. You got a crush on anyone?"

What kind of fucking question is that? And of course, because I'm a dumbass, I panicked and said "Ruby"

I'm not going to live this down, am I?

It's not like I could have said it was him, right?

Year 8, Early Fall

Marlon brought two newcomers to the school today. A girl our age and a little boy. She's capable, at least. The new girl helped the hunting party come back. I fucked up and almost got myself killed but she saved my life.

Louis has been hovering over her since she woke up. Just flirting, non-stop. She's definitely going to end up stabbing him.

Also, the kid is really nosey and the girl is an enabler.

Year 8, Early Fall

Marlon sent the new people -Clementine and AJ- with Louis and me to hunt this morning. I went ahead by myself the first chance I got, I couldn't stand listening to him try to woo her. Even out of earshot it was all I could think of. I was so distracted I only bagged one rabbit.

Goddammit, Louis.

Louis took the new people to the fishing shack to see if Violet and Brody had any luck catching anything, but only Brody came back. She said someone broke into the shack and stole a bunch of our stuff. She was freaking out but Marlon wouldn't have any of it. I wish he wouldn't brush these things off.

The sunset and the others aren't back yet. I volunteered to go looking for them but Marlon wouldn't let me. Brody said they stayed behind to find more food, but it's been so long. I'm worried. I decided to write this now to distract myself, but I can hardly sit still. I hope Louis is alright. I'm starting to feel sick.

Everyone came back alright, and with a shit ton of food. They went outside the Safe Zone to a walker-infested train station to steal it. It was stupid, but it paid off I guess. Louis kept telling me he was fine but I still felt frustrated. It's too quiet when he isn't around.

Year 8, Early Fall

Marlon and Brody died last night. It turns out Minnie and Sophie's deaths weren't an accident, Marlon gave them away to some group so that he could live, and killed Brody when she couldn't stay quiet anymore. He lied to us saying Clementine killed her, but Louis got between them.

Marlon dropped the gun, but AJ snuck up behind him and shot him.

I helped Louis dig the grave. It wasn't easy, we had to use bowls to dig and the rain was pouring. He was shaking so much he could barely make a dent in the ground. I left the rest of the work to the others, taking Lou inside to dry off. It's been almost an hour since Clementine and AJ were kicked out, they should’ve stayed, Clementine was smart and knew how to survive in this hellish world.

“Louis,” I said to him, sitting down next to him on one of the beds in our room. Louis was too quiet, I didn’t like it… It was so unlike him. I wanted him to smile again.

Louis did something I wasn't expecting tonight. Louis slowly looked up at me before wrapping his arms around my waist tightly, laying us both back on the bed. I was surprised… Though I felt warm and safe, it's been a small secret of mine but I longed to be held by Louis.

THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS ENTRY!

I never expected to see Louis break down, I didn't mind that he squeezed me tight while he cried. I just wanted him better.

Year 8, Early Fall

Clementine and AJ came back.

AJ wasn't looking so good, Clementine told us that he was shot. I felt bad for the kid. Though as of right now, my main concern is what we have to prepare for. I'm not telling anyone this, but I'm afraid.

What if we all end up dying? All this stress is making an old urge of mine come back. I'm scared, everyone is even Louis.

What if I lose him?

I can't lose him… I just can't.

Maybe I should talk to him? Tell him how I feel? I don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe it’s for the best that I keep my feelings for him a secret? This fight for our lives is more important than anything else at the moment, we need to be prepared and focused on what’s going to come. Louis did mention that he needs some help with his aim, I guess I could show him the ropes.

Year 8, Early Fall

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Louis kissed me! We kissed! Yeah, it was a dare, but I didn’t expect him to go through with the dare. It felt so surreal during the card game, I for one thought I was going to end up having the lowest. Turns out that it was Louis that had the lowest, Louis picked dare, of course, he never backs down from a dare.

He was given a choice: Kiss me or kiss a walker's head. He chose to kiss me. When Louis leaned over and kissed me, it felt so surreal, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. When I kissed back, it felt so real, so nice…

I sound like a lovesick teenager...

He cupped my face, gave me that smile of his and closed his eyes and leaned in. When our lips met, I closed my eyes and slowly returned it, resting my hands on his shoulders. I don’t even know if the kiss meant anything to Louis, it probably didn’t… Part of me wishes it did.

Maybe I’m overthinking this. I mean, Louis has feelings for Clementine. At least I think so.

Year 8, Early Fall

I’m so sorry, Aasim.

Fuck. I could’ve done something! I let you be taken…

I feel like a fucking failure. I shouldn’t even be writing in your journal right now, but here I am. Sorry in advance Aasim, when we save you and the others, you can totally rip my entries out.

Year 8, Early Fall

I’m sorry ‘Sim. I went down into the basement where we’re keeping that creepy one-armed guy and well, he was sort-of awake. I looked at him and I felt so angry. I wanted to hurt him. Hurt him like he hurt us, hurt you, but I couldn’t do it. He and his people are the reason it’s me writing in this book right now and not you.

I hope it’s not me writing the final entries.

Anyways, I keep rereading the things you’ve written about me over the years. It makes me feel giddy and guilty at the same time. I just want you to know that if you and I both live through this raider bullshit,

The next time I kiss you won’t be the result of a dare.

Year 8, Early Fall

Abel talked enough before he puked out his internal organs. (Remind me never to fuck with Clementine) We know where you are, and we have a plan.

I’m coming for you, Aasim, just hang on a little longer.

Year 8, Early Fall

We did it.

Holy fuck.

We’re back.

All of those raiders are dead. I… I killed one of them. I’ve never killed someone before. It feels strange and gross. Like bile, or a scream that doesn’t know if it should or not. I think of that woman’s face as I shot that arrow through her mouth and I just… I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I feel bad, I think. I think of her, and then I think of you.

You probably think you’re still on the boat right now. You were out when we found you, covered in blood and the smell of burnt flesh was everywhere. I kept calling your name but you didn’t wake up the whole way back.

You gotta hang on, Aasim. I can’t lose you too.

Minnie’s dead. Tenn’s dead. Mitch is dead. Clementine is dying and maybe so are you and I don’t know what to do anymore so I’m sitting here with your book wondering if I’ll have to decide whether or not to bury you with it while Ruby tries to treat the burns on your back and patch up Clementine’s missing leg and hope neither of you turn.

Year 8, Mid Fall

So, I’m back.

I just read all of Louis’ entries. To be honest, I hadn’t thought about this book the last couple weeks, I didn’t even notice it was gone. Louis must have had it this whole time. He’s been by my side ever since the boat, but today when I woke up he was gone and this was on the dresser.

Everything hurts. Both my back from that explosion and my head from trying to figure out what I’m going to do now.

I can't help it, but I feel a bit giddy that he feels the same. Yet I am afraid.

Afraid that I could lose him to anything out there.

Maybe I should rest some more before talking to him.

Year 8, Mid Fall.

That's it.

I'm talking to him.

I need to.

I have to.

I'm driving myself crazy just sitting here and thinking about it.

Now to find him.

Year 8, Mid Fall.

We are dating now.

I was so nervous when I found Louis, he was playing the piano. I stood by the door and watched him play for the longest time, thinking over the ways to approach him, though it was like I couldn’t move. I was in some type of trance that was keeping me there and not letting me free. Then he stopped playing, he smiled once and looked over at me. His eyes filled with some sort of relief and he stood up, quickly making his way over to me.

I threw myself into his arms almost instantly, not even waiting for him to stop walking. I didn’t care that the fast movements hurt my burnt up back, I just wanted to be in his arms.

“Woah. Be careful.” Louis chuckled. I really missed the sound of his laugh. I missed everything.

“Shut up. I missed you.” I told him, but I frowned when Louis gently moved me back, looking me in the eyes.

“You read my entries, didn’t you?” His question was soft and serious, like he was afraid or something.

I just smiled at him and slowly nodded, leaning into his touch when he cupped my cheek. We didn’t say a word as we stared at each other, it was like we knew what each other was thinking but didn’t make a move to initiate anything.

“Well, Romeo? Gonna kiss me or not?” I whispered to him, breaking the sweet silence between us. Louis only chuckled and brought our lips together into a sweet, yet slow kiss.

It was better than the last kiss, and he asked me out right after.

I sound a sap.

But I don’t really care.

#my writing #lousim #twdg louis #twdg aasim #the walking dead game #the final season

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