#louetta primrose

[katieaki]

Hey, Valentine! Can I ride double with you? I’m feeling a little confused! 😵‍💫 ❤️‍🔥🩸 instagram | bluesky | patreon

[ialpiriel]

Shrimpy Horse Girl Punching Bag Support Group, ft @katieaki's Lou from her ongoing CYOA and Cursor from my novel that'll probably be out sometime next year

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

By the time Artie crashed into the infirmary, also soaked to the bone, Lou had finished receiving a mortifying physical examination. After, she had been dried with a towel, laid down on a futon, and covered with several thick down and wool blankets. Even though she was tucked up to her chin, she was still shivering so hard that her teeth chattered. Her fingers and toes had started to ache where they were waking up. Ikue had just stepped out to fetch some hot water to help warm her.

“Is this some kind of sad attempt to get me to break?” Artie asked from the doorway. There was a gleam of panic in her eye, but her jaw was set. She still wore a bandage over the bridge of her nose and, as Solitude had said, she had one deep purple black eye and one that was only tinted a little greenish yellow. As Solitude had said, it did suit her. The thought should have disgusted her, since Lou was the one who had unjustly given the black eyes to her, but she looked cool. She looked sexy.

Lou just closed her eyes. “Listen, I ain’t feeling so good,” she said through chattering teeth. “And I just had a thermometer stuck up my asshole by a beautiful girl. So, if you could cool the tone some—“

“If you’re trying to starve yourself so that I’ll come and baby you again—“ Artie began.

“I ate,” Lou interrupted.

“Not lunch,” Artie said.

“I was full from breakfast,” Lou said.

Artie shook her head.

“I ate a lot. You should’ve seen,” Lou said. She was embarrassed by the pride in her voice, but Artie’s face softened and that felt worth being embarrassed for. Artie crouched down next to the futon. Water dripped off of her nose onto the floor and she tried to wipe it up with her wet hand, but only made the wet streak bigger. She looked back at Lou with those big, black eyes, sweetly sad and touched with worry, but not completely devastated like the night before. 

“What happened?” Artie asked. 

“I was trying to hurry back. The rain. I just overdid it, I reckon,” Lou said.

“They found you passed out in the fetal position, covered in blood,” Artie said, furrowing her brow.

[katieaki]

My post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure has just updated! Read it here, for free on my Patreon! This is only the third installment of PART TWO, so it's still a great time to hop on board!! I just made a summary of the first part, here, which tells you basically everything you need to know about Lou, her unrequited(?) love, and the ill-advised journey she is beginning as of this update.

In the previous update, we found out (kind of) what the object of Lou's affection wrote to her in that heavily, heavily perfumed letter. In this update, she has to deal with what she learned. Her traveling companion/special delivery, Holliday, is being... quite nice? At least, comparatively? They have a bit of "And There Was Only One Bed" going on, in that they're sharing a tent made for one. That's fun, right? Sleepover!!

Excerpt under the cut!

“I’m sorry to have been the bearer of such bad news, Lou, truly I am,” she said. She stroked the back of Lou’s hung head. Lou was surprised to find she found the gesture comforting, not condescending or overly familiar.

“It’s not all bad,” Lou said, her head still resting face-down on her knees. Her voice sounded pinched and nasal to her own ears and her throat felt almost too tight to speak. The knees of her jeans were thoroughly soaked through with tears. “She said she loves me.”

“Oh,” Holliday said, her brows knitting together. She held her other hand to her chest. “Oh, you poor thing.”

“She said. Right? That she loves me back?” Lou said. “She did say.”

“Oh, honey,” Holliday said. She cupped Lou’s chin and tilted her face up, searching her face for something, but Lou didn’t know what. Her hand was not as soft as Lou had expected it to be since everything else about her was so refined. “Bless your heart.”

Something about having to meet her eye made the tears start back up with renewed vigor. It hurt. It hurt bad. She wanted to say that it wasn’t fair, but that wasn’t how these things worked and frankly, Venus was right. That only made it hurt more. She couldn’t even gnash her teeth and wail against the injustice of it all. Venus was right, she was never around. She was always away. She was unpredictable and unreliable. She’d been so happy to be a rolling stone, gathering no moss for so long and now it was biting her in the ass. Turned out, girls liked when you were a little mossy.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

When her vision cleared, she could see that a whole group of people had gathered around the infirmary door: Holliday, all of the divers, Mrs. Kikkawa, Kanon’s wife with her baby in a sling against her chest, Solitude, and Artie. Everyone looked so relieved to see her, but an air of palpable anxiety still hung around them. Mrs. Kikkawa laid her hand over her eyes, hung her head, and started to cry. Sol made the sign of the star and brought their hands together in prayer. 

For a moment, Lou couldn’t understand why. Why would any of them care what happened to her? She was a stranger to them. Then, she remembered how much loss they’d all experienced, and so recently, too. It seemed that, in recent days, so many of their loved ones had gone into the infirmary and not come back out alive. Sumie’s side of the family had lost, at least, their mother, oldest brother, and baby sister from the same illness. Of course they’d been feeling anxious. They’d been hounded by death. They didn’t need any more of it. The only person who didn’t have their eyes trained on her was Artie, who looked out, over and past her, but close enough that nobody but Lou would notice she wasn’t looking at her. She sat close to Tsuneko on a short stone wall that bordered the garden adjacent to the infirmary. She looked right over Lou’s head, like she wasn’t even there, her expression neutral, but when Tsuneko looked back at her to whisper something Lou couldn’t hear, she smiled broadly at her. She was glowing. Her skin looked beautiful and all her scratches were almost faded. The dark circles under her eyes had lightened considerably. Like in Lou’s dream, the scabs that had been splitting her lips had healed. She didn’t even look sickly anymore. Someone had either cut her hair or lent her a buzzer because she had gotten her sides shaved back down to near-skin. The length of her hair was curly and charmingly messy; it was clear she’d been swimming. Everybody thought Lou was going to die and Artie was spending her days swimming in the ocean and hanging out with a beautiful girl. Lou felt the sting of betrayal like a thorn pressed into the flesh above her heart. She actually felt it. It hurt. Artie once again had on a little makeup and wore more jewelry than she ever had on the trail. Worst of all, she was beaming. She was so beautiful and so happy there, in the light of Tsuneko’s attention. Lou couldn’t stand to look at her but couldn’t manage to look away, either.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut. (Spoilery!)

Once, while everyone else was working, Shiho led Lou by the hand to a storage shed that was tucked discreetly behind a natural undulation in the landscape. They were laughing and whispering and watching over their shoulder to make sure no one else saw their escape. Lou watched behind them as Shiho eased the shed door open. She gasped in surprise and shut the door quickly. Before she did, Lou caught a brief, painful glimpse of Artie’s back, ass, and arms, muscles rippling, thrusting into Tsuneko, whose legs were wrapped around her waist. Lou felt like the floor fell out from beneath her, like the split seconds between being thrown from a horse and hitting the ground, stretched out for what seemed like an eternity. The pain was coming, she knew, and all she could do was try to land in a way that would minimize the damage. She stared at the hastily closed shed door in front of her. She thought that there was a strange, high-pitched sound coming from somewhere, a bird crying, maybe, before she realized her ears were ringing. She caught her breath, which she hadn’t known had been knocked out of her, but her next exhale tried to come out as a sob. She tried to cover it with a clearing of her throat.

“Oh gods,” Shiho said. She took Lou’s arm and dragged her away as fast as she could. “Oh my fucking god.”

Lou stumbled along with her. She couldn’t speak– she could hardly think– from the jealousy that had risen to sit heavy, like a stone in her throat.

“I am so embarrassed,” Shiho said. She didn’t seem to notice Lou’s state, wrapped up in her own shock. “Tsuneko is going to fucking kill me.” 

Lou knew, of course, that they’d been having sex. If she let the image come to her in the past, it rocked her with envy like she’d never known, but it was nothing compared to seeing it in real life. She felt like her heart fell through the bottom of her stomach and out her pant leg as Shiho pulled her to the safety of the shadow behind one of the houses.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. Her cheeks were glowing. She took Lou’s hand in hers. Lou felt like there was no blood in her fingertips. “I had no idea.”

“I’m–” Lou said. She couldn’t find her words because all she could think was that it should have been her in there, sweating in the closeness of the room, sweating from the effort and the desperation, crushed under Artie’s weight, her back scraping against the hard-packed dirt floor with every thrust, her legs wrapped around her waist. It should have been her but Artie wouldn’t even allow Lou into her line of sight.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

“Just take this to my mother,” Artie said, holding the parcel out to her. “You promised me you would.”

“Everybody likes to make a big ole ruckus about things they think I promised to do whilst I don’t seem to recollect making any promises whatsoever,” Lou said. She took the parcel anyway. It was heavier than she expected. She balanced it on her hip. “I’m not going to just forget and let it lie, you know. I ain’t stupid.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Artie said. Maybe she did look sad. Lou wished she could cheer her up, but she didn’t want any of Lou’s cheering. That much was certain. With the mask on, the striking nature of her eyes was diminished and Lou felt like she was seeing her mouth for the first time. Now that her lips weren’t pale with blood loss and covered in scabs, it was beautiful. Lou would have liked to kiss her. “She’s in the kitchen.”

“After this, though,” Lou said, gesturing to the box with her chin. “You have to tell me.”

“There is no ‘after this,’” Artie said, shaking her head. “This is it. I’ve told you.”

”Don’t be like that,” Lou said. “Come on.”

Artie shook her head and gestured toward the big open garage door behind Lou, and when Lou looked back at her, she was gone. Lou’s right arm felt extremely heavy, almost dead, like it had been worked out past fatigue, though she wasn’t sure why. She switched the parcel to her other hip and tried to shake the dull feeling out, but it lingered strangely. She wished Artie had stuck around. She wanted to see her, even if she was mad at her. She wanted to spend time with her, even if the time she spent with her was miserable.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

What did she even like about Artie? Nothing. She didn’t. So she’d had a few thoughts– when she was hurt, drugged, tired, scared, and convinced that she was going to die– that she liked and trusted Artie, but those hadn’t been her real feelings. She’d been glad that Artie was strong and competent because that’s what was needed for the occasion. She needed someone to haul heavy shit and read the map– it didn’t mean she had to suck her off about it. In fact, she’d only been put into the position of needing Artie by Artie herself. There was no need for her to even feel grateful. She’d been appreciative of her taking care of her and had felt desperate for her to keep taking care of her, but since when did Lou want to be taken care of? That hadn’t really been her thinking, that had been the drugs, the fear, and the concussion. Lou had gone her whole life taking care of herself. Why would she start wanting anything else all of the sudden? After almost thirty years of being her own and only caretaker, why would she suddenly find herself wanting someone else to do it for her? It was ridiculous to even consider. And Artie, of all people? The two of them couldn’t have been any more different. There was no way Artie could know what Lou wanted or needed. Artie wasn’t even stable enough to be her own caretaker, let alone Lou’s. She was a mess and a brute, not at all what Lou needed. Lou needed somebody who was sweet and warm, someone who was calm and elegant and beautiful. That was what she needed.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

“She did this to me,” she said. She looked at Holliday, who looked mad enough to hit Lou herself, then Shiho, who looked queasy. “This is her fault, all her fault, and she didn’t even check on me after I woke up. Not even a ‘how’re you feeling?’ Nothing. I was in so much pain for a month and then I could’ve died and nothing. Nary a word. Then you’re gonna try and walk up here, bold as brass, and act like nothing occurred?”

Partway through her explanation, Lou had subconsciously turned to direct the message to Artie, who finally raised her head to look back at her. The bleeding had slowed, but her face, neck, and chest were already completely soaked. She held her bloodied left hand up to Lou.

“Do you wanna break mine? I’ll let you. Fuck it, I’ll help you,” she said. She took a few steps closer to Lou and Holliday inserted herself in between them. Artie stepped back again, and a thought pierced through Lou’s anger with tenderness and a barb of jealousy: she didn’t want to get blood on Holliday’s dress. She could be so thoughtful to everyone else. Why not to Lou? Artie craned her head around Holliday to make eye contact with Lou again. “Want me to be in the same pain you are, cowgirl? Let’s go. Let’s do it. Right now.”

“Nobody’s going to break anybody’s anything,” Holliday said. “At my wedding?”

“It won’t be the same pain. I’ve already had to deal with this for a month in the wilderness. I’m gonna have to go home and deal with this forever,” Lou said. She tried to step around Holliday, but she put herself between them again. “I have to carry this pain and guilt for the rest of my damn life and you get to go home and be put out of your misery.” 

“‘Get to?’” Artie repeated, shocked.

“Dying’s bad, but it’s better than being the one left behind,” Lou said. Tears pushed at the back of her eyes and she blinked hard to hold them back.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! Excerpt below the cut.

“Please don’t go to sleep yet,” Artie said. She sat halfway up and looked at Lou, really looked at her, for the first time that night. She looked haunted. She had been still for a while except for that tremor that she didn’t seem to be able to kick, but she looked fragile. There was a mark across her cheek from resting on Lou’s jeans for so long.

“I’m beat, Artie. My head is killing me. My arm,” Lou said. She could barely keep her eyes open. “I’m out of stuff to say. You look alright now.”

“It’s not that,” Artie said. She buried her face in Lou’s lap again.

“Then what?” Lou said.

Artie said something, but her voice was so quiet and muffled, Lou couldn’t hear her.

“What?” she said, leaning in close.

“I’m not ready for you to hate me again,” Artie said, a little louder that time. She winced at the admission.

Lou nodded. “I ain’t apologizing,” she said.

“You shouldn’t,” Artie said into Lou’s thigh.

“I ain’t. And I am still mad, don’t go around thinking I ain’t mad,” Lou said.

“I don’t,” Artie said.

“But I think, since we’re gonna die and all we have is each other anymore, I think maybe I’m finished hollering at you,” Lou said. Artie looked up at her from the ground, her dark eyes glossy in the low light. “I do have two stipulations. Don’t fucking slip me nothing else.”

“I won’t— I swear to the gods I won’t. That was a mistake— you– you have no idea how much I regret–“

“Nothing. No matter your intention,” Lou said.

“Nothing,” Artie agreed, eagerly.

“And,” Lou said, “you gotta be nice to Holliday again.”

Artie grimaced like she’d been given something extremely bitter to eat.

“She’s deluded and mean and this is all her fault, but there ain’t no point in being mean back, now. She lied to us but she didn’t know she was taking us on a wild goose chase. She believes something’s out there for her. Really believes,” Lou said. “If I can be tolerant of you and her, you can tolerate her. Let’s spend these last days in peace.”

“These aren’t our last days,” Artie said. She sat up. Even in her pale and drawn face, her eyes had an intensity and determination behind them that Lou felt she hadn’t seen from her in a while.

“Weeks, then,” Lou said. She didn’t know how fast someone could starve to death. The prospect of starving slowly for months chilled her.

“I’m gonna keep us alive,” Artie said. “I’m bringing you home. I’m bringing you home alive. Leave it to me.”

“Okay,” Lou said. She nodded and Artie nodded back, determined. Lou didn’t believe it, but, like with Holliday, there was no need to argue about it anymore. Let them all think what they needed to think to die peacefully.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

Lou was awoken by a light knock on the door. She croakily told whoever it was to enter, and sat up. Her head pounded and the pale light coming through the window felt like needles in the back of her eyes. Not Shiho nor Ikue, but Solitude, entered, carrying breakfast on a tray. When Lou saw them, she groaned involuntarily and fell back on the bed.

“Gods, is it that bad?” Lou asked, rubbing her face. Shiho and Ikue were right to be mad enough not to want to help her, but it was going to be painful to face that, especially hungover. Surprisingly, Sol laughed a little.

“Shiho offered to bring this in for you, but I thought it might be a little more comfortable for everyone if I were to help out initially,” they said. They set the tray down on the beside table and placed a cool hand on Lou’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Besides the barrel fever? Real ashamed of myself,” she said. It was all she could do not to mention the pounding, twisting, tender heartbreak that consumed her. She felt like she could barely open her mouth without it spilling out of her onto the quilt.

“I can’t say any of us expected that, but–” they shrugged and went to remove the dirty washbasin. “Everything was alright in the end. Everyone rallied. Eat your breakfast. I’ll be back with some hot water.”

Lou sighed and shifted to put the tray on her lap. They had started serving her smaller and smaller portions, but it still looked like too much to eat. Whoever had prepared it had seemed to anticipate that she’d be feeling a little peaked. Instead of a full course with fish, salad, and a citrus fruit, it was all easy, stomach-friendly food: a bowl of rice, ochazuke, a lightly seasoned rolled omelet, and a couple umeboshi. Lou was surprised to find herself absolutely ravenous. She supposed she’d had a big night the night before. Did crying make you hungry? She wished Artie was there to see her eating like she was, but felt immediately childish for having that thought, like she was expecting praise. Like she’d know what to do with praise if she got it.

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

The girls..... aren't fighting? Good heavens?? Or? And?? Um??

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

Artie beamed at her and the sunlight made her silver fangs shine gold. “The fucking ocean,” she said.

Another frigid wave crashed around them and pushed their bodies together. Lou wore only a tank top and underwear and Artie wore only jeans and a bra, and their naked skin slipped easily against the other’s, slick except for the grit of clinging sand. When the waves receded, the sand they stood on shifted out from under them and Artie stumbled again. Lou wrapped her legs around Artie’s waist to steady herself. Her skin was taut with goosebumps and her hard nipples were sensitive as they rubbed against Artie’s chest through her ribbed tank top. 

“You were right,” she said, her lips brushing against Artie’s ear so she could be heard over the roar of the waves that surrounded them.

“About what?” Artie said. Her cheeks were flushed, probably from the cold, and she looked more invigorated than she had in days. Lou realized that her hands had stopped trembling.

“I’m glad I saw this,” Lou said. “I didn’t know I wanted to see this. Hell, I didn’t even know I could want to see this.”

Another wave coursed over them and sent a shock of cold water splashed up into Lou’s face. She laughed and leaned away and Artie adjusted her grip to Lou’s hips and held her tight to her. 

“If I knew you’d be this happy, I wouldn’t have complained once the whole time. I’d do it again,” Artie said. “I’d do it again a hundred fucking times.”

“We’ve been riding forever,” Lou said, laughing. She couldn’t believe how good she felt. “We’ve been in agony. We’re dragged out. I’m all stove up. You almost died. You could be six feet under right this second.”

“I don’t care. I don’t fucking care,” she said. Her smile faded and she looked at Lou with sudden sincere gravity. “You have no idea the lengths I’d go to just to see you smile, even for a second.”

[katieaki]

some girls have all the luck

Lou receives hospitality from Sisters Beatrice and Delphine at Angel Wormwood convent

instagram | twitter

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

Small, Miserable Woman Reminisces on Being a Small, Miserable Girl

Once, before she’d come to understand the full impenetrability of her mother’s depression, Lou had thought that she would coax her mother into giving her care by pretending to disappear. Early in the morning, she had tied a jar of water and a peach into a furoshiki, stuffed a roll of newspaper into her father’s hat so it wouldn’t fall over her eyes when she wore it, and walked out into the fields beyond their pasture. She had sat on an overturned pail in the dappled shade of a serviceberry bush and waited to hear her mother calling for her. She had eaten her peach and drank her water bit by bit, watching the sun move across the sky. She had waited and waited and her mother hadn’t found her. Lou had watched a tarantula hawk drag a paralyzed tarantula into her burrow to feed her babies with. The tarantula’s limp legs that offered no resistance as the wasp dragged it along on the ground had frightened Lou worse than seeing them walking around. Still, there’d been no sign of her own mother. She’d dried out her empty water jar and filled it with serviceberries and waited some more. 

Eventually, the sun had begun to set and she had thought that maybe her hiding spot had been too good. Probably, she had thought, her poor mother was worried sick. To lose her husband and two of her children, then to lose her remaining daughter without warning. What had Lou been thinking? Her mother must have been anguished. Lou had run back home as fast as she could, barefooted over rocks and briars. When she had crashed back into their home, panting and apologizing for scaring her, her mother was laying in bed, facing the wall, just as Lou had left her. Not only had she not noticed that she was gone, she hadn’t even seemed to register that she was back and greatly distressed. By that point, Lou had already stopped crying when she was upset. If she hadn’t, she’d have done nothing but cry. Instead, she had just placed the serviceberries in the pie chest, made them both peanut butter sandwiches, washed her bloody, filthy feet, and gone to sleep. When she had woken up, her mother hadn’t eaten her sandwich, so Lou had eaten it for breakfast with a mug of milk that had just begun to sour. That had been a lesson that, before that half hour of waiting fruitlessly for Artie, Lou had thought she’d fully learned: she wasn’t enough of anything for people to to miss. Her mother hadn’t even noticed she was gone. Neither would Artie.

[katieaki]

So, you’re interested in jumping into Pony Express but aren’t sure where to start/feel daunted by the undertaking/are freaked out about missing lore & context? Pony Express is intended to be a completely standalone work with no knowledge of my prior work necessary for enjoyment, but it has been rolling for quite a while now! Here’s some info to help you orient yourself! 💫 I recommend looking at this guide on desktop as the mobile version collapses the bullet points in a strange way.

✨ Here’s the absolute most basic summary:

Lou Primrose (30 years old, 5'0", illiterate, hardworking, 3x rodeo champion) is a rider for the Pony Express, the Wasteland's mail service. Lou has agreed to transport an unusual package from the middle of the Wasteland to the nearly uninhabited coast: a glamorous redhead named Holliday Bell. A case of mistaken identity sees Lou brutalized and disabled by religious assassin from the church of Johnny Knives (god of death) Reckoning "Artie" Tehachapi, who attempts to atone for her wrongdoing by serving Lou until she's healed. Together (for better or worse) the three of them head toward the ocean through unknown and dangerous territory.

This work is erotic in nature 🔞 with some violence and survival-type gore.

✨ If you’re totally new here, you might have some questions. Here’s a super quick primer under the cut!

What’s up with The Wasteland?

The Wasteland is a post-apocalyptic, non-dystopian society in the former American southwest. It has been several generations since the civilization Before (that’s us, or maybe like... our grandparents) was decimated. Nobody is particularly interested in the whys or hows of the collapse, though it seems that environmental disaster & earthquakes were the main factor.

It’s a series of towns, shrines, convents, and monasteries. Quite a lot of it is in repurposed buildings from Before (imagine Route 66-style gas stations, diners, and motels, all heavily repaired) and some of it is kind of ramshackle old-west-y new builds.

God of Death, religious assassins, churches– what’s up with all that? I’m afraid, sounds lore-y.

Wasteland society is heavily structured around the two churches of the gods of life & sorrow (The Listening Lady) and death & justice (Johnny Knives), who are married, immortal, and absolutely real. They live apart from the mortals, but they do live in the Wasteland with them. The Listening Lady’s church is responsible for basically every aspect of Wasteland life. Listening Church shrines and convents are also the Wasteland’s official or de facto orphanages, pantries, farms, hospitals, therapists, inns, textile mills, wedding venues, and basically everything else you need to keep a society functioning. Listening Church acolytes may have a huge variety of occupations, from the extremely down-to-earth (midwifery and laundry etc) to the real Weird and Churchy (doing rituals and divination etc). Many of them take a vow of silence in honor of The Listening Lady. The church of Johnny Knives is much smaller and much more specialized. Knife Church disciples are assassins whose sacred duty is to kill those who need killing, as judged by god. 

You don’t really need to get INTO this, though. What you need to know is: Listening Church acolytes are generally warm and kind and in caregiver- or artisan-type roles. Knife Church disciples are peacekeepers & generally a little scary, but are also working toward the public good– kind, but not necessarily nice.

I know the concept of gods and disciples invokes the image of like, robes and shit, but that is NOT how it is! Listening Church acolytes tend toward chiffon and midcentury-lingerie-as-outwear looks and/or country western workwear, depending. Knife Church disciples nearly invariably have sort of a greaser/biker/leather daddy thing going on. They all talk about the gods like they’re their parents and their bosses, which they are. I think it’s kind of more normal than you might be expecting. 

So there’s like, magic?

According to the Wastelanders, yes. You don’t need to worry too much about any of that. Just let them do their things.

And everyone is in a church?

Almost everyone interacts with Listening Church in some way, very few interact with Knife Church in any way, but most people in the Wasteland are ‘civilians’ (that is to say, not working for either church).

And they’re all lesbians? How do they have babies??

They’re not ALL lesbians, but basically all our POV characters are & it’s a very lesbian-heavy society. There are many ways that two women may have children, including biological. You got this, I know you do. 

And everyone is blue?

Yeah, but it doesn’t really come up.

Why?

Because I liked drawing them with the sky blue posca paint marker when I began this body of work.

Ok. What’s up with Lou?

Louetta “Lou” Primrose is a rider for the Pony Express– she’s a Wasteland mailman. Her job is basically her whole life. She’s been working since she was ten years old, working for the Pony Express since she was 14. After receiving a romantic rejection from Venus, the dance hall girl she’s in love with, Lou agrees to take a strange red-headed woman, Holliday Bell, to the (allegedly) uninhabited coast, where Holliday’s wife is (allegedly) waiting for her.

Lou is dedicated, practical, and hard-working, but also hot-headed, frequently mean, a little self-conscious, and ‘a rambling man,’ never in one place for long. She’s markedly not religious among other Wastelanders (so is a great pov character for you if you’re new to al this!). Her greatest achievement has been winning the main event at the Wasteland’s biggest horse games three years in a row, unseating the previous champion. Nobody else really cares that much.

What’s up with Holliday?

Holliday Bell is an elegant and mysterious woman who showed up to Lou’s post office with stamps pinned to her blouse, claiming she’d mailed herself there from a town hundreds of miles away. She is asking Lou, who works at the most westerly post office in Wasteland, to finish the delivery by bringing her way out to the coast where she claims her wife, a pearl diver, is waiting for her. 

Holliday is strange. From the beginning, Lou feels put off by her personality, which is both abrasive and seemingly rehearsed. She can be unspeakably cutting and is obviously hiding a big secret. 

What’s up with Artie?

Reckoning “RT” “Artie” Tehachapi is the Knife Church disciple who, after a series of lies and miscommunications spanning several parties across the Wasteland, is sent to apprehend Lou, who she thinks has kidnapped Holliday. She breaks Lou’s wrist and dislocates her shoulder in their first altercation before she learns that Lou is an innocent party in all of this. Deeply ashamed of her actions, she vows to serve Lou until they make it back to civilization.

Artie is upbeat and optimistic, especially for Knife Church, but her guilt at her transgressions against Lou & eagerness to make up for them have left her in a kind of anxiety spiral.  She’s the only one who has any real survival skills and continually works herself to the last drop, and then works herself a few drops more. When her big, horrible, deep, dark secret is revealed, her mental state continues to deteriorate.

What’s up with Venus? We haven’t seen her in a while?/Who’s the one-armed smokeshow?

Venus is Lou’s love interest, the girl she left behind in Hereafter. We haven’t seen her in a while because she, wisely, stayed there while Lou went off on her extremely inadvisable mission.

Venus of the Wastes is a dime-a-dance girl/saloon girl/sex worker who lives in Hereafter. She is Lou’s friend and Lou is both in love with her and her best client. Just before Lou left to deliver Holliday, she admitted to Venus that she was in love with her. Venus is, at least, very fond of Lou.

✨ Ok, but this is a lot! Where do I start??

If you’re looking to hop in on the story in progress, I’ve made summaries of part 1 , part 2 , and part 3 as we have gone on. I’ll update this with part 4 when we finish it. 

If you’re a completionist, the links above have epub & pdf files of the full text of each part. Here’s where part 4 begins, until we finish that part and I post it all together. You can find the rest of part 4 by scrolling backwards through the collection. I will also attach pdfs & epubs of all the full text to this post on my patreon!

If you’re a completionist completionist & you want it ALL, here’s everything and the chronological order in which they occur in-universe. Again, Pony Express is meant to be able to stand on its own two feet without any of the rest of this, but it might be fun for you to read the rest. The first three here are kind of a series, but Tears Can’t Put Out This Flame and Bloodied on Arrival could both be read independently. Care and Keeping probably needs those two to support it, unless you’re happy just jumping in and figuring stuff out via context. It’s Artie’s backstory, but it’s not necessary for you to read to make Pony Express make sense. It’ll just give you a little more dramatic irony etc. 

Tears Can’t Put Out This Flame  - a novella about Hero Sasaki, a novice acolyte at the Church of the Listening Lady (god of life & sorrow) who has been tasked with delivering a package to an anchorite from her church. Frances is a disgraced assassin from The Church of Johnny Knives (god of justice & death) who has been tasked with escorting her. Through trials of the road, emergency first aid, prayer, ritual (blood and otherwise), a little sex, and a lot of tears, they find love exactly where they should've expected it in the first place.

Bloodied on Arrival - a novel about Nuisance (and Hero), a road-weary assassin from The Church of Johnny Knives (god of justice & death) who finds herself and her new cat taking refuge at a companionship shrine run by a beautiful older widow, Hero, of the Church of the Listening Lady (god of life and sorrow). The two can't deny their immediate connection and aim for a rewarding one-night stand, but things don't go as planned.

Care and Keeping - a work in progress novel(?) about Hero and Nuisance and their new adopted feral child, Artie, a little girl who has known nothing but abuse, pain, and starvation who believes it’s her sacred mission to join Knife Church. Nuisance agrees to train her to join the church in a bid to keep her from it for as long as possible. This is a kind of coming-of-age story for Artie and a becoming parents story for Hero & Nuisance.

Pony Express - A work in progress novel about Lou (also featuring Artie) - see synopsis at beginning of post.

The novel/las are available for purchase on my Patreon for $5 or for pay-what-you-want $5+ on Gumroad. If you find you can’t afford that, but want to read it, please let me know! DM me wherever or email me at missluckycatknives (at) gmail (dot) com I’m happy to make my work accessible to you. All Pony Express and Care and Keeping are free as I work on them. 

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! Here is a guide to get you started, the summaries of each part of the story thus far, the complete collected text, and FAQ, all in one place. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

✨Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! ✨Excerpt below the cut.

“You smell like pussy,” Lou said. She knew she shouldn’t have. She was only poking the hornet’s nest, but she couldn’t resist. She had woken up from a dead sleep to an immediate fury she couldn’t contain.

“Yeah?” she said, sounding relaxed and unbothered. 

“Yeah,” Lou said.

Artie stood silently, walked to the bed, and leaned down over Lou, a hand pushing into the mattress on either side of Lou’s thighs. She brought her face so close to Lou’s that she could feel the warmth radiating off of her cheeks. For a second, Lou thought she was going to try to kiss her. She ignored the thrill that rose up in her stomach even as she readied herself to kick her off of her. Instead, Artie turned her face to each side and Lou realized with a twist of disgust that she was offering her a sniff. 

“Enjoy,” she said. It was too dark to really see her facial expression, but her silver teeth caught what minimal light there was in the room. She was smiling.

Lou dropped herself back down onto the mattress to put some space between their faces. Her heart hammered behind her eyes and between her legs. “You’re disgusting,” she said.

“You’re welcome,” Artie said. She stood back up and continued to undress, completely at ease. “This might be my last fucking week on earth, excuse me for trying to eat a little pussy before I get my throat slit.”