#losing my mind here again why do i keep feeling rp etiquette becoming like. something people no longer give a fuck about?

[eclipsecrowned]

seeing other people post about new followers not reading rules. stares directly into the camera (not at you at the camera crew or whatever)

[andypridee]

A River’s Current | Challenge #1

here it is. i bring to you Andromeda Pride. well, andy preferably. I’m so sorry this is up sooo late but writing this was kind of a whirlwind. Please ignore any mistakes, i was writing this like a thousand miles per hour. Thank you sooo much to @arin-schreave and @itssara-oc for the rps i hope i wasn’t such a mess. so i leave you with andy. i hope you reading her as much as i enjoyed creating her.

bon appetit!

Silence flooded the room entirely. The day that just happened had been a whirlwind of things that made me completely uncomfortable. "Oh my God," I thought "This is going to continue for who knows how long" This was clearly the best time to understand the magnitude of my actions. Normally, I didn't think much before acting, but the consequences were not so huge. "Okay Andy, you're already here and there is no escape. Breathe. "

The huge room that had touched me was like a dream. A huge soft bed, a wardrobe that was a work of art in itself, a movie ceiling. "I guess this is it. The selection." A contest to win the prince's hand. Not even that. A contest to win what remains of the prince's heart, if it remains, to be able to one day be the queen of this country, although, in reality, it would only be an accessory for the king and his baby factory because obviously you have to follow the lineage And that's what women are for.

It was incredible that I could be and live, even for a short time, in a room as full of luxuries as that. Yes, my childhood had been privileged, I was aware of that, but this was just another level. He had seen, known and connected to so many places that not even in his deepest dreams could they have dreamed of something like this. And there were people who had so much power and money that this kind of room was simply a "guest room." It was increasingly difficult for me to think that solutions for millions of people were in the hands of a few who should actually provide solutions for those people.

How I wish Sierra had been there.

Anger and helplessness began to grow within me. The air didn't flow to my lungs and I had suddenly started hyperventilating. I went out on my balcony and saw around me. Everything looked so serene from afar. So uniform and so peaceful. I wanted to dive into it, keep walking until I got away from that huge and pretentious place. The edge of the balcony felt like a wall of bars to me. I was not made to live observing. And I didn't even know what I was doing here. I had no princess spirit, much less a queen. I needed to get out, talk, be able to experiment and especially help. Not standing still, looking pretty, saying the things that everyone wants to hear but being hopeful enough for those people who have almost nothing. Everything methodical, everything calculated. All coldly experienced, knowing that even if you want to do something and help, that would not make everyone happy, especially the most important ones. Living not in a home, but in an institution.

I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed. I saw a valley covered by the moon. Miles and miles spread before me, ready to be explored, ready for the unexpected. The cold air brushed my cheeks and I smiled. Then came the sea, with its smell of salt and freedom. The sun caressed my skin and comforted me. In the distance, seagulls were observed in mid-flight. This was what made me get up every morning. The possibility of a new, just, and caring world. A world wherein every place that the sea touched you could feel airs of hope and happiness.

I slowly opened my eyes and took another deep breath. I guess I couldn't do anything about my current situation anymore but I could take advantage of it.

I went to sleep with that image of the sea in my mind and I didn't wake up again until the morning rays touched my skin.

When I opened my eyes the day had already started without me. My maids, Audrey, Kate and Elaine, were fixing my room for a new day. Although I did not really understand why since everything looked extremely resplendent. The bathroom apparently was ready to tell from the condensation on the mirror and my outfit for the day hung neatly from the closet.

I closed my eyes once more wanting to be in my room in Zuni, or even in Waverly's bedrooms. Or anywhere outside of there. I opened my eyes again with the slightest hope that my wishes would come true. Obviously, they didn't, so I sighed and walked into the bathroom, ready to have at least 15 minutes of relaxation and privacy. That was, of course, until my maids started helping me.

"Um, ladies? I don't really know what to call them. Girls? Um well, I can do this alone if you don't mind. ”I tried to speak kindly to them.

"But, miss, we must help you in everything," Audrey replied in a concerned tone.

"I'm sure it doesn't refer to everything," I said, pointing to my body in the process.

"It is our duty, Miss Andromeda," Audrey replied politely.

I sighed “Okay, you can continue to do whatever other crazy duty you are dictated here but please just call me Andy. It is the only thing I ask of you. ” I said almost pleading.

"Okay, Lady Andy," Audrey answered again, who, apparently, was the one in charge of the three.

"Andy, Audrey. Andy. " I looked at her and tried to smile slightly.

"Okay La- Andy," she replied uncomfortably, but she had fulfilled what she had asked and that was an advance for me in the little that I had taken that morning, so I left it like that and I decided to violate what I considered privacy as too many levels.

-

OK. I was not a girl in dresses. And that was clearly inconvenient now. Looking at me in the mirror, I looked like a cupcake. Literally. It smelled of vanilla and everything. The dress itself was beautiful, white with gold accents and such a neat chest. Truly a work of art. But I was not wearing dresses. I felt uncomfortable and constricted, I could hardly breathe, and my arms could not rise more than 10 cm.

And now she was supposed to have breakfast in front of the queen and the royal family like that. Fantastic.

"Miss, you must go to your lesson," Elaine warned me before leaving.

"Lesson? Are we not supposed to have breakfast? ” I asked, starting to feel like my stomach was roaring under the tight corset of my cupcake dress.

"Before having breakfast in front of the royal family you must take an etiquette lesson." answered.

"They think we don't know how to eat? It can't be that different. Finally, it is the same process, you eat and drink. There is not much science. ”

"It is a requirement for all the selected ones," Elaine replied, trying not to get too agitated.

"So now I am that. One "selected". " I said, this time to myself. "Okay, I'll be down soon," I replied, a little more disappointed.

Going down that huge staircase I could see the other girls. All dressed in extremely precious dresses. Splendid walk. Perfect complexion. Hair like silk. And I, holding on tightly to the stair railing, afraid of losing my balance and hitting the living room on the floor. What a contrast.

I entered a large room, where tables were set up with their respective chairs. Several selected ones were already arranged in their places, so I looked for mine in that sea of ​​linen tablecloths and flowers with artificial smells.

Lady Andromeda

Thanks, mom and dad. They seriously couldn't choose another name.

I took a seat and turned the side of the card with my name face down. Then I smoothed down my dress and waited for something to happen, though I wasn't really sure what that would look like.

Finally, Princess Safiya entered the room and addressed us. She exuded airs of elegance and neatness. Almost like her brother but she seemed under control and ready to take charge of any situation.

"Good morning. I'm sure you're all ... eager to start seeing as you're meeting my brother shortly, so I'll try to keep this brief. ”

Eager? Really? Rather terrified of having to meet the prince. Oh, my God. Prince. Know him. Friend, if you want you can have me there all morning because we could say that the prince was not my favourite person in the royal family.

“Today I will begin to instruct you on conduct and protocol, a process that will continue for the duration of your stay. Please know that I will be reporting any missteps on your part to the royal family. ”

This was the most outrageous thing anyone could have said to me. Conduct and protocol? Who I am? A doll? What were the behaviour and protocol? To silence your mouth only and that everything is calm and courteous. Crap.

"I know it sounds harsh, but this isn't a game to be taken lightly. Someone in this room will be the next princess of Illéa. It is no small task. You must endeavour to elevate yourselves, no matter your previous station. You will become ladies from the ground up. And this very morning, you will receive your first lesson. ”

That was exasperating me, that situation they have to change their way of being because we do not consider it highly appropriate. She understood that they were the royal family but they were also ordinary humans. She didn't understand the need to be stiff and perfect all the time, much less at breakfast. It was quite a facade, because, let's be honest, who dresses like that to go to breakfast?

Suddenly, a very elegant brunette woman entered the room. It was Felicity Graham, the prince's ex-fiancée. She saw herself as a powerful woman, even on her own and without any ties to royalty or politics. She was the first person to impress me in the background since I got there.

He approached Princess Safiya and muttered something to her, and so they had an exchange of murmurs and increased the discomfort in the room by 87%.

Neither of us knew what was happening and I personally felt out of place and worse yet, too hungry to have a good attitude. We were there in front of them and they didn't even bother to make excuses.

I was about to get up and go get my well-deserved breakfast without any consideration of what might happen because I honestly didn't care. The faster I got out of there, the better. Safiya said something softly to Felicity but I didn't really bother to understand. Were they really taking away even more time?

“Table manners are very important, and before you can eat in front of the royal family, you must be aware of certain etiquette. The faster we get through this little lesson, the sooner you get to have your breakfasts, so faces forward, please. ”

Against my own will, I followed the instructions and continued the etiquette lesson, ridiculous as that sounds, albeit with some difficulty thanks to my dress. In the end, it was what was going to get me out of here and give me my breakfast without having to disrespect the princess in her face. Despite everything, I had always admired Princess Safiya for her tenacity and intelligence and she was frank, a quality that I will always respect people.

When mentioning the very retrograde etiquette instructions, there were one to two times that I almost laughed out loud. Not speak unless they spoke to us first? Really? She did not know that modernity and feminine emancipation had not reached the court of Illea. Even more so when our president was a woman like the queen.

"If you follow this one, I’ll be disappointed," Safiya added.

Well, one less person to disappoint, and at least the princess agrees with me on that ridiculous rule.

After something akin to a courtesy practice, although it seemed more like a classy torture session, and Princess Safiya completely reproved me with her eyes, we were free. My stomach at this moment was a huge furious mass and when my eyes looked at that oasis called buffet I swear that the angels sang. I'm not fully aware but I think I approached the buffet unusual and not very elegantly, filling my plate with delicacies.

I found my seat and got ready to ... eat. Actually, at first, it seemed like I was stuffed but I hadn't eaten anything since I woke up and that was going to be like two hours! But after the first three or four bites, I tried to keep my composure. Not because they had pointed it out to me but because I wanted to show them that we were perfectly fit people to eat without making a mess.

As soon as the guard who was going to escort me to that small room where the girls came and went came, my back stiffened. Usually, it was good under pressure and I wasn't nervous but this time we were talking about the prince, the actual price. I think the usual was not suitable for those occasions.

I got up from my chair with all the grace that can emanate and accompanied the guard to that little room. The first thing I glimpsed upon entering was the cameras. They were everywhere, pointing at different angles to a chair in the middle of everything. And there was Prince Arin waiting for me, standing a little too straight, a little too stiff, very rehearsed. I approached dubiously, looking back a moment but looking back at the prince, who gave me a small bow.

"Good morning, Lady ..." Her eyes searched for my little tag with my name on it. I guess learning 35 names overnight was difficult. "Andromeda." I almost winced when he said my name. Today had been a perfect day to call me Andromeda. "Please have a seat," he said as he gestured toward the sofa.

I did not know what to answer. My mind had gone blank. She only knew that she was in front of the prince, the heir of Illea. It was as if my conscious part had come out of my body and I was making a fool of myself. I bowed very badly and approached him. Safiya would certainly be disappointed in me, I thought.

"Hello! ... um... Good morning, Your Highness" I answered and took a seat on the sofa. "What the hell are you doing Andy? How old are you? Twelve? Act like a fully capable young lady and stop being silly. ” I said to myself as I tried to get comfortable on the sofa. Glancing back at Arin, I tried to smile slightly, concealing my disagreement.

He had settled next to me, turning his body so he could see me properly. There was something about his actions like they were too methodical and too rehearsed. He didn't seem like a natural person.

"How is your morning going?" he asked in a calm but neat tone of voice. How many times had she done this? He was probably not even paying attention anymore, just following a script and waiting for the morning to pass without any complications.

I, on the other hand, was a disaster. And the most irritating thing was that that wasn't me. I looked him in the eye and I got myself back together. "It's just someone else, there's no reason to be intimidated."

“Well let's say waking up inside a golden palace is a whole other way to start my morning, so pretty good so far. I must say, that breakfast of yours is going to spoil my appetite ”I said, while shaking my head, amused. I wasn't going to tell lies, that breakfast had been the best part of my morning.

He simply nodded and continued.

That’s good to hear. So you slept well then? ”

Again that studied tone. Breathe Although she wanted to explode, I continued the conversation, trying to cheer her up a bit. If he didn't want to have a good time, it was his problem.

"Like a dream, but you must know. I was a bit shocked at first when I got to my bedroom but then I calmed down. ” yes .. that little crisis.

"I'm glad to hear you were able to calm down." He looked for a moment at the cameras. Was that necessary? It was silly to ask, considering my experience with the bathroom that morning. "Which province are you from?"

I instinctively turned my gaze to the cameras for a second, uncomfortable with the situation. A mouse in a laboratory would have felt more comfortable than me. For a moment I felt my dress tighter, my hair straighter, my shoes smaller. I turned my gaze to Arin and replied. He continued to ask me questions and I answered them for a while. The weird thing was that he didn't comment on it like he wasn't even listening to me. I was trying to keep my composure but I was already exhausted. I wanted, first of all, to put on a good pair of pants and a shirt. Sleep all day and in the morning embark anywhere. Probably a remote island, accompanied only by Clifford and a coconut called René.

As the conversation progressed, I became more interested in it. A feeling of relief flooded my body and when I realized I was actually enjoying the conversation.

"It sounds like you enjoy it," he comments as he nods slightly.

"I do ... I think it’s a powerful way to tell the world’s history." I replied, a little excited.

"Do you plan on returning to journalism?"

"I have not abandoned journalism, it's just that I work for an NGO so that keeps me busy"

"What do you do there?"

"Well, I'm practically a wildcard. I've taught English and Maths to kids in Vietnam, I've helped to bring food to war-displaced communities, I've aided to build houses for a community made up of women, victims of family abuse, there's everything where you can help. "

Talking about my job was something I loved, but I didn't want to sound pretentious or anything like that, so I was glad when she continued to genuinely be interested in the conversation, or so it seemed.

He nodded, impressed and continued. That certainly sounds like a lot. I'm sure your family must be proud. ”

It was annoying that his only reaction to everything was to nod but he was so wrapped up in the conversation that I barely noticed. At the mention of my family, I gave a little laugh, funny.

Well, I don’t know. I'm sure my family thinks they contribute a lot to society as well. For my parents especially, it's just a complicated way to help when you can just donate a bunch of money and leave. ”

"Oh well, I'd be proud if I were them. It’s important to contribute to the ways you can. ”

"It is. It absolutely is. I believe that making change happen is the labour of everyone. Grain by grain great things can be built. ”

She nodded, again, and glanced at her watch, then turned to look at me.

"Thank you for speaking with me this morning, Lady Andromeda. It’s been a pleasure. ” She got up from the sofa, saying goodbye. "Please enjoy the rest of your stay."

"I'm sure that my stay he meant two hours while he finished with the rest of the girls," I thought.

But I tried to hide my true thoughts, so I got up and smiled confidently. Whatever happened, I think it would be fine.

“It has been surprisingly a pleasure. And please, call me Andy. My parents have been a little extra since ancient times. ” I joked, trying to make the stiff prince smile for the last time.

And fulfilling my goal, Arin smiled at me and nodded again. "This man and his head," I thought. But I did not care, I got him to show some emotion and that already progressed for me.

"Have a good rest of your morning, Andy."

-

“My parents thought so too but believe me, growing up as Andromeda was pretty tired. "I shrugged." Well, I don't believe so, for now, you are my only friend” me briefly, joking, as I usually did, about my name “the food here is the most heavenly thing ”

She was an extremely sweet and funny girl. I think it was a relief to be able to talk to someone without being afraid of being judged in the background, something very rare to find in the social circles that my parents made me frequent.

She giggled and answered “I can imagine. It's a beautiful name but it's pretty long and I'm assuming people have mispronounced it before? ” Her eyes lit up at the mention of our possible friendship ”That sounds like a deal. I'm your friend and you are mine. Don't take backs. ” And continuing with our conversation he added “It is pretty good. Where are you from? ”

“So many times! plus it is pretty weird so you can imagine ”I shrugged. "Sounds like a deal!" I told her and reached out my hand to close the deal, she took it, laughing, and we shook hands with each other but “From Zuni, originally. What about you? ”

"I kind of get your pain. Not many people know how to pronounce my last name. I'm from Whites! ”

"Well, I sure hope I'm pronouncing it correctly." I giggled a bit, something slightly unusual for me. "Oh! that's a great contrast ”I commented when listening to her native province.

"Don't worry, you're actually doing pretty good." She beamed and continued “It is! So what did you do before… ”she pointed around us, referring to La Selección“ all of this. ”

I smiled nostalgic, thinking about the life I had left behind. That life that had been built by me and only by me, and which was now thousands of miles from my reach.

“Well, I study journalism in Waverly and I work for an NGO, helping in poor communities. what about you? ”

“I have been volunteering in the orphanage here and there. I want to keep volunteering but the career I have makes it hard. ” she pouted a bit, making me smile. Sara was the sweetest person I’ve ever known. Usually, my friends and I expressed love with jokes and sarcasm, so hanging out with Sara was actually pretty recomforting. "I am a manager in my dad's business."

We talk about our jobs and our family. The more time passed, the more relaxed I felt, forgetting everything that had happened in the morning and feeling much more myself. Sara was a very sweet, interesting and impressive person. Being a manager in her father's store and volunteering. It is completely true that appearances are deceiving. At first glance, Sara seemed a very elegant but somewhat reserved person. Turned out to be funny and energetic. With airs of princess everywhere and kindness of heart, I was glad that there were girls with possibilities of winning, like Sara and genuinely began to root for her. We ended up talking about my family, especially my sister, Sierra. My sister was one of the people I missed the most and it had only been a day. We usually parted for months but we were a phone call away. This was completely different and he needed her more than ever.

"I'm lucky to have her. I believe that without her I wouldn't be here right now, ”I smiled wistfully, trying to control my tears instead. “Alright, so topic change because I don’t want to have mascara all over my face and make a fool of myself the first day, mmm what do you like to do outside work?”

Sara smiles and said “You really are the sweetest aren't you…” she gave me a sympathetic look and answered my question. Alright. We can definitely do that another day! ” * joked, making me smile and improve my spirits. "I? Well, I enjoy to read and write. Bullet journaling. Geocaching! I would love to travel more often. I love to learn more about different places. How about you? ”

"Count me in! crying out loud is one of my favourite things ever ”I commented sarcastically. “I have tried to do bullet journaling, trust me, it did not go well. But geocaching? what’s that? ” I've never heard of anything like that but I was truly curious "I LOVE-" had started screaming but then I remembered that morning's sermon and decided it was too early to start breaking the rules. "I love travelling!! it's my favourite thing to do in the whole world, I love to discover how diverse we can be in just one planet. I love photography as well, I have an album with all my trips, to see how a picture can tell a million words and a million emotions. ”

"I mean watching some sad movies can get you to cry out loud" Sara joked, continuing my joke. "Oh, I love it! Oh, geocaching is a bit of a weird hobby of mine. It's basically using GPS to find hidden treasures people have left behind. It's interesting for me. ” added with some regret. “I love travelling as well !! Are we possible soulmates? Long lost sisters? ” I smile with her eyes lit up. "Wow really? I would love to see it. Your album I mean. "

"Only if it's titanic" I joked. "But it sounds interesting like catching Pokémons or something like that, you have to invite me some time" I smiled, interested in my friend's hobby.

"I know! it's crazy!” I laughed and continued "where have you been?” And finally answered her request. “Well I could show it to you sometime, I secretly sneaked it in because my mother almost banned me from bringing it, ”I whispered.

"Obviously only titanic." she chuckled, joking. "It is! I have found several interesting things when I go geocaching. ” she grinned as I mentioned my interest in geocaching “Someday for sure!” she said, smiling widely. "It is! I hope to do that often. Travel I mean. I have been here and there but I barely had time to really immerse myself to each province. The farthest I've gone is New Asia. ” she leaned in when I started whispering “Oh really? I would love to see it. I'm glad you sneaked it in. ”

------

The sun had begun to set over the city of Angeles and a beautiful yellow light sheltered the city. The day that just passed had been, honestly, an emotional roller coaster. I had survived my first day of the Selection and I still hadn't made a complete fool of myself. I didn't know if I was going to be there in 24 hours or if this was only going to be a one-day vacation but at that point, it didn't matter anymore. Despite all my opinions regarding the Selection and what was happening, I was beginning to realize that not everything was completely bad and that in reality if I could not change the course of the river, I could at least travel with the current. I was afraid that maybe I would lose myself in the process for, apparently, it was something I couldn't control. The only thing I could do was make sure that day after day when I looked in the mirror, I kept seeing the same girl who wanted to contribute to the change. No matter what happened.

[stagekiller]

✧･ﾟ:✧!Headcanon time!✧:･ﾟ✧

  Here is something to warm you up for the contents of this post.

 If this face doesn’t spell out ‘ broski love me pls ’ I don’t know what does tbh. Either way:

 The life & crimes of Jerome Valeska, part II: One Bad Day

   I’m going to quickly get a thing out of the way before I start : Yes I am aware that the writers did our boy dirty & hadn’t written Miah in for half the show, then suddenly pulled the ‘twin brother’ twist ( which I usually find cheesy af & if it weren’t for Cam/eron’s AMAZING acting, I probably would have hated it ) I write my headcanons based on the show as a whole, analyzing Jerome’s behavior from S1 to S4 as if ‘Miah had always existed. And keeping that in consideration, here is my take on the Valeska twins.

Young identical twins often seem to have a telepathic bond, but there's no evidence that it's real. Their similarities reveal something about the likeness of twins' minds, not a link between them. This is one of many findings from research into twins separated at birth and raised apart. When such pairs independently read the same books, follow the same household routines, or enjoy the same hobbies, Segal writes, "they cannot be communicating because they are often unaware that the other twin exists—instead, they are reflecting their matched abilities, tastes, and temperaments."  ( X )

  I can’t stress this point enough but I feel like it’s often overlooked when talking about their relationship, so I’m going to attempt ( to stress it. until it breaks ) A quick re-watch of the Maze Scene gives us the following points:

 Jerome’s eyes when looking at Jeremiah are constantly fixed on his face & observing his expression: he is interested in Miah’s reactions

 Jerome appears to be genuinely excited to see his brother and on the verge of a manic episode.

 Jeremiah averts his gaze ( a sign of emotional distress, avoidance, perhaps guilt ) when his leaving home is mentioned and despite being held at gun’s point still taunts & insults Jerome, perhaps attempting to manipulate him even, which indicates that Jeremiah doesn’t really feel that Jerome will pull the trigger - perhaps he’s exercised similar control on his brother in the past, or perhaps he can read Jerome’s body language, being that as identical twins they share a special bond.

 Jerome’s primary goal is NOT to kill Jeremiah, but to bring Jeremiah to his level and make Jeremiah as he is: insane. He wants Jeremiah to embrace the darkness inside him - and if that doesn’t scream ‘desperate need for connection’ I don’t know what does. ( on that note, Jeremiah later displays the same obsessive behavior towards Bruce “ can you feel it ? The connection between us ! ” )

Prior to that scene Jerome displays the full extend of his obsession when he addresses his brother through the camera. His antics are obviously meant to taunt & scare his brother, but on a deeper level, his voice is full of emotion when he swears he would never hurt ‘Miah. And how do I know? Because, much like in the Maze scene & when referencing the fact no one ever helped him to Bruce, Jerome’s voice drops & becomes raspy as a growl when he gets emotional.

The same thing happens when Jerome references his life after Miah left. He has a short-lived outburst ( linking this to my headcanon about him displaying AS/PD traits ) and even raises his voice. Few people & circumstances seem capable of making Jerome lose his temper during S4. He has never went into an outburst after mentioning matricide to anyone else and always held a cold & aloof approach towards the subject * ( see Notes section )

 He keeps touching ‘Miah in an aggressive manner and exaggerates the word brother, using it at every chance he can get. These can both be signs that Jerome has genuinely missed his twin.

  Now that I’ve made my point about their relationship being one of complicated & twisted brotherly love, I want to get to the main point of this post:

   Jerome’s ‘one bad day’ wasn’t the day he butchered Lila. It was the day Jeremiah left.

“ I guess it’s like what they say. We all could go insane with just one bad day.” - Murder carrot

   In Jerome’s own words, his brother ‘ran away in the middle of the night like a coward’. The morning after Jeremiah left, Jerome would find his bed empty. Abandonment can be the root of many personality disorders as it is one of the most extremely painful emotions one can experience. Mix that with betrayal and the gradual worsening of his situation at home; Jeremiah might have likely been his only source of support during childhood, and with him gone Jerome was stuck dealing with the abusive household all by himself.

   On top of that, there was the betrayal. Jeremiah didn’t just leave, he threw him under the bus too. He used Jerome’s antics as leverage to pin things on him & make a good justify of why he ‘was at danger’ and had to be away from his maniacal brother. Sure, I do believe that Jerome had behavioral problems as a child and he must have been prone to violent outbursts too, but if he wanted Jeremiah dead, he would have killed him the second he came around that corner.

   The day Jeremiah left marked the destruction of Jerome’s future. He would be left behind in the circus, rotting away with their depressed, alcoholic, abusive mother & potentially his cruel uncle. And the thing was that these people did once mean something to him. In his own words: “ You turned everyone I’ve ever loved against me. My own flesh and blood ! ”

  He was left behind, abandoned, forgotten, alone.

  This played a key part in Jerome’s desperate need to be in the spotlight and his showman complex. Apart from ruining his chances at developing connections with people, because the sting of betrayal never faded, it made him afraid to experience that extreme sentiment again: he fears that he will be FORGOTTEN again.

   And that drives him to stick his face in the cameras & make public shows of his atrocities, drawing as much attention as possible, relishing in the fact that he’s making a name for himself in the process. Jeremiah was a victim just as much as he was a perpetrator: Jerome spraying him wasn’t an unfortunate coincidence, it was Karma.

  Now, I’m not saying Jeremiah is evil because every child has a reason to become what they become. And Jeremiah’s reason was purely to survive, as well as the fact he shared the same predisposition for antisocial behavior. They were, indeed similar. But the environment they grew up in molded them into different types of abuse victims: Jerome expressed it through his violent outbursts, Jeremiah internalized it and deal with it through insidious & manipulative behavior. They couldn’t both be explosive as kids, someone had to become more cold & calculating and control the other and that just happened to be Miah. So, I’m not saying that Miah is evil for throwing Jerome under the bus, I’m just explaining what my take on their story is.

Notes:

 To conclude, I want to add that I’m MORE than open to discussing headcanons with Jeremiah muns and of course I won’t try to force some of my own on them - this is basic rp etiquette, after all.

( * I am not saying he feels guilt, he is definitely unapologetic about killing Lila and has no remorse whatsoever, but he usually doesn’t care to explain his motive or how bad his life was before that. Even when addressing Gordon, he shrugged off the abuse as Lila ‘nagging’. Only Jeremiah and Bruce Wayne drove Jerome to talk about his bad past with such emotion.)